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View Full Version : Wherein my life, as I know it, implodes.



Adept
05-09-2005, 09:09
Now, I'm not one for internet ranting. I'm usually a very non-emotional guy. Most people think I'm really some kind of robot sent back in time to save the future. But I digress.

My fiance's family is ****. I mean, really ****. Her parents are demanding, petty self righteous ***** hicks. Her father has major control issues, her mother is a goddam crystal-waving sycophant hippy and her sisters and brother have, as a result, been largely screwed up. They all have some kind of mental problem, be it from not being able to leave the family home for more than two days without a breakdown, to not being able to sleep alone. Her 15 year old sister routinely sleeps with her 21 year old sister, even when the older sister has her boyfriend in the bed. It's nothing sexual, she's just so dependant and needy she can't sleep on her own. Both sisters also routinely share the parents bed. With the parents in it. And the parents think this is okay.

My fiance left home when she was 15, to be taken in by her much more normal uncle and his family. This week, they kicked her brother out of home (he's 17) because he's too much of a problem for them to handle. Gee, whose fault is that?

Now, here's where it gets tricky. My fiance made up with her parents several years ago. Her parents own a local general store, which has an attached house block. For the last three years, she and I have been living in this house while she works at this store. Note, she was working 50+ hours a week for $12 an hour (two and a half dollars below the award rate) and was not given annual leave, or sick leave, or shift allowances for working 13 hours in a day. The house is small, and *********. In fact, the situation with the house deserves it's own paragraph.

The house has two bedrooms. The verandah is falling apart, the roof leaks, the stove has nearly electrocuted us twice, and rather than replacing it her parents (our landlords) simply removed it's fuse and told us to buy an electric fry-pan. There is no cold water to the kitchen, the stormwater fallls into an illegal hole in the backyard that no plumber will touch, the lino in the kitchen is coming away from the floor in great chunks and you have to go outside to get to the toilet. Now, we live right next door to the shop, and as such it was out responsibility to respond to anything that went wrong with it. Our rent was $50 a week. Two months ago, they put the rent up to $120 a week. The reason? Because we dared to ask about her wage rate, and questioned the posibility of reparations for all the hours my fiance has worked at below-award wage rates. There was no effort made to improve the house at all.

Now, back to her brother. They sent him off to school, told him he cannot come home and had four days to get alll of his stuff out of the house. We questioned them on it, and they said they expected him to sleep on the streets for a few nights. My fiance and I took him in and gave him a room to stay in, took him to centre-link to enquire about youth allowance and aus-study, and living away from home allowance, and have been making an effort to keep his life as stable as possible. Yeah, the kid can be a ****, but he isn't that bad and 90% of his issues stem from and are directed at his parents. Who are dicks.

Today, they cornered my fiance and told her that, because of her actions with regards to her brother, her employment at the store has been terminated, and we have four weeks to get out of the house. So right now I'm elbow deep in tenants rights and unfair dismissal paperwork. We've got a place to stay, so that's allright, but it's really small (holiday house) so we might need to put all our stuff in storage.

Thanks to anyone who has read this far. Did I mention her parents are dicks?

CELS
05-09-2005, 09:19
Unbelievable stuff. At the risk of being extremely unhelpful though, why the hell didn't you guys get out of there months or years ago?

Anyway, best of luck to you. Considering the hardship you've apparently been going through, I imagine that it can only get better now. Seems like you're better off without those parents-in-law anyway.

Weird about the mental problems of all those kids though. I've never heard of anything like that.

Sojourner
05-09-2005, 09:23
Sever all contact. You're a bright bloke, get a decent job and a nice place far, far away.

No swearing please - Post edited.

hairyman
05-09-2005, 09:23
Sounds like in the long term the two of you are better off out of there, so long as you can afford somewhere else. If your gf has got all those hours working behind a counter then she should be able to get another job ok, and it sounds like you really need to move out of there anyway.

I wouldn't bother going after her parents for owed money or problems with your impending eviction... just wash your hands of them and start anew somewhere else.

lord_blackfang
05-09-2005, 09:24
That was simply... unbelievable.

I think you're better off away from those people. If at all possible, move to the other side of OZ, and don't leave a forwarding address!

Yodhrin
05-09-2005, 09:29
Sue the crap out of them. Seriously, you should be able to get them on something to do with the terrible conditions of the flat, or the almost-slave-labour. If you get enough out of 'em you can get a deposit on your own place with more reasonable living conditions.

hairyman
05-09-2005, 09:31
Sue the crap out of them.

Sueing your (potentially) future in-laws sucks nearly as much as Adept's gf sueing her own parents. Not a good way to make the next twenty years or so easy.

Sometimes it's just better to walk away and leave people to their odd little lives.

Kohhna
05-09-2005, 09:32
You, the Bird and the Wee Brother take off out of there ASAP. Use the 4 weeks to find something, anything else. Even if it isn't paradise or even as good as the place you're at now it'll be a start.

Wraith
05-09-2005, 09:34
So right now I'm elbow deep in tenants rights and unfair dismissal paperwork.

And that is where you should stay untill you can screw the parents for everything they owe you and your partner.

CELS
05-09-2005, 09:34
I agree with hairyman. In all likelihood, the money you could get from sueing them would probably not be worth the pain of going through that process with family members. Better to just leave and then visit them when they're really old and alone and go "IN YOUR FACE". Or just leave.

Kohhna
05-09-2005, 09:37
Sueing your (potentially) future in-laws sucks nearly as much as Adept's gf sueing her own parents. Not a good way to make the next twenty years or so easy.

Sometimes it's just better to walk away and leave people to their odd little lives.
Seconded. You won't see penny one back for your hassle. You might be able to use the tenants rights to slow the process down a bit and save you from getting evicted before you're good and ready, but you don't want to take it further than that.

Wraith
05-09-2005, 10:04
Meh, obviously your own well being and that of your partners comes before the desire for justice / revenge however if the option is open to you it is beneficial (mentally speaking) to get a little pay back.

Vaya
05-09-2005, 10:17
Justice and revenge can come later. If you feel like it that is.

At this time, it's better to spend your energy otherwise.

Adept
05-09-2005, 12:20
Thanks for reading, guys. I'm going to keep reading up on renters rights and unfair dismissal stuff for know. Even if we don't want to follow up on it, I'd like to make an informed decision. The other half is calling the appropriate commissions tomorrow to see what sort of action can be taken in a situation like this.

We would have left earlier, but we have made a lot of friends in the area, it's a really nice rural area, and we have several pets (One large dog, three cats and three large aquariums) so finding alternate living arrangements wasn't easy or desirable. We would have liked to stay here, if we could.

Having said that, we do have another place to go. It's about an hours drive from here, a holiday home on the coast. It isn't big, but it'll do for the time being.

I was accepted earlier in the year into the SFDRS (special forces direct recruitment scheme) in the army. An injury put me out of that intake, and the next one isn't until next year. Given that 18 months (the time till the next intake) was a long time to wait after you've just resigned from your job, I was encouraged to switch my enlistment preferences and try for an earlier intake into another position. Which I did, but due to the lengthy re-interviewing process I missed out anyway. Currently, I'm waiting to re-re-interview late this year/early next year. So, hopefully, we'll only be stuck in this situation for a few months before I enlist and we can get the hell out of here.

Thanks for the support guys. I really needed to get this off my chest.

Samoth
05-09-2005, 12:37
Isnt that the second time you've had an injury stopping you from enlisting, or am I thinking of someone else? An ankle?

Sucks about the house man. And a property big enough for the pets wont be nearly as easy to find as a 1 bedroom appartment somewhere. So yeah, stall until you find a place your happy with, imo. And I agree with others, unless you have the burning desire, you'll need all your energy for the move (3 aquariums and half a dozen pets?).

Wiseman
05-09-2005, 12:39
good luck adept, its a hard situation i can imagine, but just stick to it and you will get through, if worst comes to worse murder her family and then claim insanity(mention you post on here in the courts and you should get away with it;))

one other thing, when it imploded did you find everything rushed past you at an incredibly fast speed?

Adept
05-09-2005, 12:53
Isnt that the second time you've had an injury stopping you from enlisting, or am I thinking of someone else? An ankle?

Yeah, that was me. When I say 'earlier this year', the fiasco actually stetches back to november of last year.


Sucks about the house man. And a property big enough for the pets wont be nearly as easy to find as a 1 bedroom appartment somewhere. So yeah, stall until you find a place your happy with, imo. And I agree with others, unless you have the burning desire, you'll need all your energy for the move (3 aquariums and half a dozen pets?).

Yeah, and they aren't small ones either. Worst case scenario, the tropicals and the gold fish can be returned to the store, but the Axolotl is too big to return, so we have to find space for him (I assume it's a him) somewhere.

Samoth
05-09-2005, 12:55
Could friends maybe sit some of the pets?

Adept
05-09-2005, 13:01
good luck adept, its a hard situation i can imagine, but just stick to it and you will get through, if worst comes to worse murder her family and then claim insanity(mention you post on here in the courts and you should get away with it;))

I've considered it. I think I'm going to send them one of those order-a-poo things you can order for people over the internet. Juvenile, yet hilarious.


one other thing, when it imploded did you find everything rushed past you at an incredibly fast speed?

Nah, we'd sort of nutted this out as a likely potential outcome. When it happened I was too busy consoling the missus to really be amazed by what fine examples of humanity her parents are.

Sojourner
05-09-2005, 13:06
You have a farking Axolotl???

Aren't they like, endangered? Good to be keeping one safe I suppose, but that's a weird pet to have.

Wiseman
05-09-2005, 13:21
"Axolotl???"

:wtf: care to explain?

Adept
05-09-2005, 13:28
Axolotl = Mexican walking fish. They aren't endangered that I know of. In fact, I think they use them for food in south america.

hairyman
05-09-2005, 13:43
Aren't they baby salamanders?

Wiseman
05-09-2005, 13:51
ah i know them, i always thought mexican walking fish was there proper name though

Adept
05-09-2005, 13:56
Aren't they baby salamanders?

Kinda. They are to Salamanders what Tadpoles are to frogs. Except that Axlotls (heck, now I'm not sure how to spell it...) are a seperate species that only grow as far as tadpoles, they never fully develop into salamanders. You can introduce some chemicals to the water which force them to develop, but it's not good for them and they don't usually live long after that. In the wild, they stay at the Axlotl stage for life. They usually live for about 12 years, and mine is three now.

tzeentchgiant
05-09-2005, 14:52
As has been said, get out of there etc.

I would say it depend how bad the relationship is if you should pursue some sort of regulation against them, do you really, never ever wish to see them again? If so I would, get as much out of them as you can.

Also best of luck, and what a cool pet, how big is it?

TG

Cade
05-09-2005, 18:36
Don't invite them to the wedding and refuse all access to the many grandkids you're going to provide them with.

Let them die alone, bitter, senile and sitting in their own *****. :D

And yes, they are dicks.

berzerka
05-09-2005, 19:02
That's sounds like one sicktwisted pair of parents. like others said If you dont want to see them again, dump them. try to get out of that house and let them die senile and alone.

Good luck.