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Pooky
04-12-2007, 04:20
Do you have one model in your army who always ALWAYS lets you down? Maybe it's a plasma gunner who always overheats AND fails his armor save. Maybe it's a powerfist marine who always misses or always rolls 1 to wound? Maybe it's just a chaplin that can't hit in CC (even with re-rolls)? (Note that it doesn't have to me a SM or CSM army)

I have two in my BT army:

1) My lascannon marine in the anti tank squad.
He has never hit once. EVER! (I actually recoded this, so it's not exagerating) I got so cranky during one game i kicked him across the store then watched him shatter to pieces. I quickly apologised to him and glued him back together :cries: He still misses though so he didn't learn his lesson. Maybe it's time to retire him...

2) My melta gun marine in a crusade squad.
The enemy unit/ tank/ broadside of a freaking hive city can be 0.5" away from him and he will miss more often than not (he has hit in the past). He always does damage in close combat though :wtf:

So, anyone else got some of these kinds of troops in their army? :D

Triggerdog
04-12-2007, 04:24
If a particukar marine fails me three times in a row I take a blow-torch to him.

flyfire29
04-12-2007, 04:25
My Grey Knight Terminators seem to LOVE to fail their armor saves, my Grand Master in particular :mad:

Omniassiah
04-12-2007, 04:36
Jain Zar... For the Banshee Phoenix Lord she sure does roll a lot of ones and twos for her attacks. I think when she died to 3 conscripts, that she failed to kill in close combat I gave up hope for her.

Raven1
04-12-2007, 04:38
In my old CSM army I had a Lascannon marine in one of my squads that never ever hit. I mean never hit the entire year I used him.

tarrin
04-12-2007, 04:42
the missile launcher in a scout squad always misses whatever it shoots at. i wouldnt mind so much but when you run only 2 s8 weapons in a force you need it to hit!

fwacho
04-12-2007, 04:55
I've had a farseer for nearly 9 years.His nmae is farseer gilgalad. He has no idea how to throw the pointy spear in his hand. Can't hit the broad side of the barn. He is remarkably lethal with his pistol though and has never died to perils of the warp.

I have railhead for my Tau army which hits once a game despite markers or what all else I try. In the same army I have commander who always shows up extremely late for the battle. Now, I just start him on the table.

I have few good aberrations (Tau pulse carbine squad, and a warlock who kills every vehicle he touches)

Ward.
04-12-2007, 04:58
It may be an urban legend turned into common knowledge, but you never call them missile launchers, stick with rocket launcher ;)

I had a certain dark eldar that didn't quite understand the way his 2+ save worked...

Hrogoff the Destructor
04-12-2007, 05:03
I got a Chaos Marine with a plasma gun that has the old blind Possessed Chaos Marine head. I always have his model face the wrong direction, but when this guy rolls double 1's with his rapid fire, you can't help but laugh. And it has honestly happened 2 games in a row before.

theshadowduke
04-12-2007, 05:04
My termies pass more invuls than armor saves, ticks off my opponents that fire las cannons at them.

muskrat
04-12-2007, 05:11
What year did the old "Assassins" Codex come out? Well, in that year, my buddy bought a Vindicare and that book. To this very day, that assassin has yet to kill a thing, in way over 100 games (he loves it too much to not take it, even going so far as including demon hunters just to have him)

Turbo pen rounds dont, 1's are rolled for wounds, armor saves are made, all that jazz. Not 1 recorded kill. I've pledged to him that the very first kill, I'm cutting the head off that model and giving it to him. No matter who.

He told me that the head will become the Vindi's new head. :D

Seth the Dark
04-12-2007, 05:18
I would have to say my "shy" Blood Raven plasma gunner. I posed him to look as if he is shielding his face while firing but he always seems to be the first to overheat and die.

Ronin_eX
04-12-2007, 05:31
It may be an urban legend turned into common knowledge, but you never call them missile launchers, stick with rocket launcher ;)

I had a certain dark eldar that didn't quite understand the way his 2+ save worked...

I do that, I've never hit with one when I've called it a missile. I have to be careful what I say around them. o_o

As for a model that always fails, I find my Librarian can't do a damn thing in close combat. He has gone through three turns of CC against a BT squad and failed to cause a single wound the entire time (luckily the terminators accompanying him were walking ministers of death). He was also killed in hand to hand by *shudder* three stealth suits (caused a wound on him and because he lost combat having not done a single wound he took another wound from being outnumbers... so much for terminator armour making him survivable). In shooting he is brilliant though and both 'force barrier' and 'hellfire' are worth their weight in gold and his luck seems good with them to boot (only failed the force barrier save once... against a railgun).

Treadhead_1st
04-12-2007, 05:39
In my Guard army I have 3 Lascannon teams. That have NEVER hit a tank in their life.

Not once. At all.


Mind you, this does balance out - I have a guy with a Grenade Launcher that has taken out 3 Space Wolf Sergeants in CC and taken down a Leman Russ, and those 3 Lascannons WILL kill 3 Terminators, without fail.

There is a guy with a missile launcher (there is a reason I go against wisdom here) who NEVER hits ANYTHING at all. Until they Tank Shock him off the board. Then its Death or Glory passed, a 6, a 6, a 5. Taken down a Hammerhead, 3 Falcons-of-doom, and a Land Raider. Not bad going.


It just gets annoying that they never hit anything I want them to when I want them to. 4 AT guns cannot hit an armoured target...

morfangdakka
04-12-2007, 05:56
My Big Mek with the Kustom Force Feild. He never seems to have the thing turned on and whatever he is screening with it gets killed. I have lost more killa kans and dreads having him screen them then if I just give them extra armor. I seem to always fail his save for the KFF. I have finally taken him out of the army after 6 killa kans got destroyed in one round then he got on the battle wagon and it got destroyed. Again failing the Kff save and the battle wagon exploded killing the mek, warboss and 15 hard boyz that were on board.

eek107
04-12-2007, 06:04
Guardsmen with grenade launchers and missile launchers. Frag usually hits but never kills anything, and krak pretty much misses all the time.

I retired all the missiles in favour of lascannons, but the grenades are staying. There's nothing else cheap enough besides flamers, and I really don't want the enemy that close.

alex03
04-12-2007, 06:12
How about a whole catagory of weapons?

Anytime I said the word melta I rolled a one. "Im firing this melta gun at your tank" rolls 1. Im shooting the attack bikes multi-melta at your wraithguard. Rolls 1. This was a common joke amongst my gamer friends. I actually took to pointing to the model with the melta weapon and saying "he's shooting at that". If I slipped up and said melta I'd roll a 1 and my friends would laugh.

This went on for about a year and still lingers to this day. For a BS of 4 I think my melta gun hits are closer to 32%.

Pooky
04-12-2007, 06:15
My Grey Knight Terminators seem to LOVE to fail their armor saves, my Grand Master in particular :mad:

It's good to see that I'm not the only one. I remember one game I had to roll 3 2+ armor saves and I failed all 3. I just looked at the models and shook my head... What else could I do? I will admit though, when they used to hit they destroyed anything they touched. Couldn't make an armor save to save their life though (excuse the pun!)

(The thing is my whole GK army got stolen and I never started them again.)

Iceheart2112
04-12-2007, 06:34
My warlocks can't hit anything at all. Whether they're shooting, throwing their singing spears, or trying to hit the broad side of a *dreadnaught* they'll be distracted by the pretty psychic colors and miss horribly.

TheMav80
04-12-2007, 06:45
My Fusion Blaster Crisis Suits can't kill a vehicle to save their lives. Which is normally necesary, so they die a lot. The sad thing is, it isn't usually the hitting that is the problem. It is the armour penetration rolls. While in melta range.

Two FB hits within melta range on your dreadnought! What could possibly go wrong? :mad:

They couldn't even blast through the side armour of a Basilisk and kill it!

Yet I still field them every game. One day...one day...

Moriarty
04-12-2007, 06:51
the missile launcher in a scout squad always misses whatever it shoots at. i wouldnt mind so much but when you run only 2 s8 weapons in a force you need it to hit!

There's your problem, you call it a MISSile Launcher. Change it to Rocket Launcher and it's hit much more often :-)

MadDogMike
04-12-2007, 07:07
Odd that so many people have stories of lascannon space marines who can't manage to nail the broad side of a barn; my only model with accuracy issues was a lascannon marine too. His miss issues lasted for 6 turns, 3 of them in close combat (partly because I had him the last in his squad to die out of the complete amusement my opponent and I were getting from this guy). He did finally die in the last turn; I've joked since it was my opponent's malanthrope (i.e. the Tyranid that decides what genes to integrate into the race as a whole) that did the deed that this explains his notorious bad luck with shooting dice rolls because the hive assimilated the lascannon gunner's skill :D.

Son of Morkai
04-12-2007, 07:08
I have Lord Whiff of the Ordo Malleus. That wasn't always his name...

Once, he was a loyal servant of the Emperor. Never did a bad thing in his life. Never failed to do his duty.

Then I took him out of the blister pack and assembled him. Big Mistake.

I needed an extra 250 points of elites for a GT, and... well... I play Wolves. Already have my 1 squad of super-sneaky scoutie guys, a Wolf Guard Pack Leader in every pack... basically, there was nothing from the Wolves codex I could fit into the army except for a Dred, and that still left around 100 points. So I picked up an Inquisitor and a blister of two old Stormtroopers with special weapons. For kicks, I gave the Inquisitor a needle pistol. I don't think it's ever killed anything. Got them painted just in time for the GT.

First game I get to use them, due to wacky deployment/reinforcement rules, Whiff and his two loyal henchmen moved on from the board edge right next to an enemy Broadside team. The Dreadnought moved on right next to a Fire Warrior Squad. With a cry of "EAT HOT PLASMA DEATH!" Whiff's plasma gun equipped Stormtrooper overheated and killed himself. The guy with the Grenade Launcher didn't do anything, and Whiff... well... needle pistol, remember?

Both survivors charge in. The dreadnought, on the other hand, doesn't have a hand (missile launcher and twin heavy bolters), so he sits back, happily blazing away at the tau. I don't remember the exact details of the combats... but it goes something like this: Lord Whiff and Random Henchman Bob spend 3 turns trying to kill two tau broadside suits using fists, a power weapon, and holocaust. On the third turn, I threaten to clip Bob with holocaust if he doesn't wound a broadside with his aforementioned fists, as his failure to damage the xenos scum is obviously a sign of his corruption and he is an enemy who must be purged just like any other. Motivated by the Inspirational Threat, Bob hits, wounds, but fails to penetrate the battlesuit, then gets skooshed all over the ground when it steps on him. But Whiff finally found the "on" button for his powersword and avenged his loyal minion's death.

Meanwhile, the Dreadnought has been assaulted, yes assaulted, by the Tau Fire Warriors, who figured out that two S 6 attacks a turn were better than a frag missile and 3 rerollable S 5 AP 4 shots a turn. Cursed Tau. They're supposed to stand back and shoot futilely! So the Dreadnought is playing a merry game of "Punt the Tau", killing one a turn with the power of his massive stompy feet. Well, I'd like to say it was one a turn. More like half a turn. Or one ever two turns. You get the point. (On a side note, that player ended up playing an Imperial Guard army a few rounds later, right next to me, where his Crisis suits got to play "Punt the Guardsmen.") Luckly, the rest of my army was able to pull of first or second turn charges thanks to the wacky deployment rules, so Whiffs totally whiffery was amusing, not cataclysmic.

Not like when I was playing a three way game at my local game store. By this time, Whiff already had a reputation. Weird things tended to happen when I have him around. Terminators will make all their invulnerable saves, plasma weapons will always overheat. He once supervised some Grey Knight Terminators commit suicide by running full tilt into a Rhino and breaking their necks. At least, that's what we think happened, since an enemy Rhino exploded and only one of the three managed to stagger away (Assault, one penetrating hit, explosion, 1 inch radius, wound two, two failed armor saves.) Little things like that. But this one time...

*shudders*

We were using the night world rules from some experimental rules set off the GW website. Roll 2d6x2 for LOS. Well, good for me since I'm facing Iron Warriors and Ultras and all I have are Sisters with bolters and an Inquisitor Lord with a huge retinue. With lots of plasma. And meltas. And plasma. And a needle pistol. Whoooo. Needle pistol. The retinue walks up to a river. On the other side, five inches away, stands the Ultra's prize squad of Terminators. You'd think I would have learned not to say "EAT HOT PLASMA DEATH!" by now, but noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. What do I roll for LOS?

Snake eyes.

Four inch LOS. One inch out of range. I roll too low on my difficult terrain check to assault.

Ultra's turn. Oh look, he can see me. Ten casualties later, Lord Whiff is standing the the middle of a small pile of corpses, bleeding (he took 1 wound out of his 3). The terminators decline to assault, as that would put them out of position to lay the smackdown on the Iron Warriors. The Chaos scum does something. It wasn't shooting at me or the Terminators, so I don't care what. My turn. Well, I can either run away... or try to Scourge the Terminators (I don't even use that needle pistol anymore). I try to Scourge. Psychic test: 2. Strength of Daemonic Attack (3rd ed): 6. To Wound: 6. Inv Save: 1. Instagak. But, hey, the power worked! Let's see how many he killed... Number of shots: 1. To hit: 1.

Then there was this time when we were playing BFG and I just randomly declared that Lord Whiff was on my flagship... which then got singled out by the enemy fleet, swarmed, boarded, shot up, etc. Basically the entire enemy fleet was surrounding my flagship and ignoring the rest of my fleet. Of course it gets destroyed. My opponent rolled on the Destroyed chart, whatever it's technical name is, and found out he did something really bad and shot the wrong part of the ship and kinda, well, you know... took out the warp drive and after rolling some dice, found out most of his fleet just got sucked into the warp.

Then there was this REALLY wacky game where Whiff was killed three times, making his Bionics roll every single time. Of course, every single time it was because he rolled a two for his psychic test and a 6 for the strength of the attack. (Not a record for the most passed Bionics rolls for me. My Wolf Lord made 5 in a single game after getting pounded by a powerfist every single turn.)

My gaming group likes playing large games of Inquisitor with 40k scale models, so I just HAD to use Whiff and co. Loyal Minion Plasma Gun Guy gets the order to shoot open a door... dies. Loyal Minion Grenade Guy gets shot up, his grenade launcher stolen, and while on the ground, bleeding to death, inches away from losing conciousness, while being dragged backwards to safetly, manages to pull out his service pistol, shoot past a few allies, and plant a bullet square in the head of a heretic with a flamer who was about to roast more Inquisitors than you can shake a stick at). Some guy also got his man-bit cut off in that game by a sniper with a knife who happened to roll the crotch for the hit location and maximum damage. I think a Space Marine also punched a guy to death in the crotch...

When Whiff is around in Inquisitor, we have more crotch hits than an episode of America's Funniest Home Videos.

A friend gave me some Repentia models, so I used them with Whiff in our next game of Inquisitor. Everyone was teamed up against a group of rebels run by the GM. Here's what my average turn went: Repentia 1 runs up to a heretic, smacks him in the crotch/abdomen with her eviscerator, he falls over, she beheads him. Repeat with Repentias 2-5. Lord Whiff supervises (I got smart, see? As long as he doesn't do anything, he won't kill himself.) Under his modestly uninterested supervision, the Repentia hack and slash their way to the Head Bad Guy, who we are supposed to capture alive. Alive. That's important. Apparently the Repentia didn't get the memo...

The Head Bad Guy is wearing Terminator Armor and apparently has the stats of a Space Marine. He's turning henchmen and Imperial Guard into bloody messes all over the place. Since it didn't look like he was going to surrender, Lord Whiff gave the order to subdue him. You think women in bondage gear would know how to subdue a man... First blow smacks the heretic in the head, but he manages to come to before they could do anything. Second hit castrates the Head Bad Guy. Third one decapitates him. The GM thought about it for a few minutes, then decided that since I was playing crazy fetish nuns with chainsaws who kill heretics for fun and the Head Bad Guy happened to be a heretic, it counted as a victory for us.

First time I used Whiff in the AoD, he narrowly escaped getting shanked by a lone guardsmen with a lasgun and knife. I think he got killed by a Tau at one point. In close combat...

Meh. I love him anyway. If I didn't he'd probably kill me.

vice
04-12-2007, 07:39
Funnily enough, my lascannon marine and the lascannon turret on my predator can barely hit.

But my predators hunter killer has taken down a demolisher, monolith and a landspeeder. Everytime it gets a kill it gets a little painting of the victim.

Kulgur
04-12-2007, 07:41
My SoB Cannoness w/ blessed weapon

She always misses her attacks, even with the master crafted reroll or priest reroll *sob*

However this is kind of balanced out by my twin heavy flamer Immolator which has the uncanny knack of surviving anything shot at it, it once survived 3 turns of a tank battle infront of several leman russ variants and a destroyer tank hunter. All this with armour 11 :D

Vaktathi
04-12-2007, 07:50
my Leman Russ Demolisher has killed exactly one vehicle ever, a Falcon that showed its back to hit and it fired its single lascannon, hit, auto-glanced, double 6's.

Other than that I think its maybe killed 200pts worth of stuff ever?




although my Stormtroopers and Chimera's don't perform much better :p

fwacho
04-12-2007, 07:52
Now that was a touching story about the conneciton between a man and his model. I suddenly feel teh need to talk about farseer Gilgalad a little more...

Way back in the day Eldar became my second army just after their 3rd ed. release. I bought a battle force and this farseer with singing spear for my HQ I wanted one with a sword but I couldn't find one a the time and ebay was still crawling out of the soup so I settled for Gilgalad.

When he first hit the table he didn't have a name. He was just "Farseer". I gnerlaly used him to cast fortune on my guardian sqaud and stand around until he got assaulted and usually killed. 2+ wound honestly didn't help him much. once he got sacked by a unit of grots.

His singing spear was totally in effective. thus he came with mindwar as his second power. (this worked about 70% of the time, only characters ever seeemed to have a chance against him) Game after game he's eiteh rfail to hit with his spear (2+) or fail to wound wit hit (2+) so one day in utter frustration in turn 6 of game. he came with in range of 2 space marines representing quite a few VP's. Acknowledging that it did me no good to kill just one and th spear would fail anyways I had him pull out his trusty pistol and discovered what he did with his free time. 2 hits, two wounds, 2 failed saves. I win the game by a hair. His skill with that pistol is amazing. but he still gets in trouble in CC.

Now I had a friend who was Lord of the Rings buff back before the movies came out. (the guy even had quotes from the Simarillian in his wedding.) He, being an elf at heart, always borrowed my eldar whenever we played. Suddenly Gilgalad got his name and started kicking butt. His spear seemed to always hit and always wound. vehicles got burned, minds got riffled through, and bodies went flying.

But, When I would turn around and use the army for myself the old farseer went back to his old ways of only using his pistol with any hope. but whenever I loan the army out he does very well. (usually against me) The one exception being my best friend from college who the farseer hates as well.

As of late he has been largely inactive as I have resorted to using a new sword wielding farseer. he has been incredibly reliable with casting doom, however. (never failed a test for that) I find this fitting.

Pooky
04-12-2007, 09:56
Wow, I see a few people miss with their anti-tank weapons (i.e. ROCKET launchers and las cannons). Maybe there is something the dice gods don't like about static anti tank weaponry...?

Wagesage
04-12-2007, 09:59
While I personally do not have an unlucky model, my friend's unlucky model HAS to be Ahriman. Every time it comes to an important game winning moment, his Ahriman has it's daemon weapon attack him and prevent him from attacking, usually resulting in it getting ripped asunder by whatever monsterous thing he assaulted (in our group it's usually a monstrous Nid or a daemon prince).

Madfool2
04-12-2007, 10:15
It is normally my characters, special reward goes to captain useless, leader of a 1st company disciples of Caliban force.

He has died to just about everything he shouldn't die to, spinegaunts, guardsmen, grots. it's just....wrong, he never hits either, weather it's shooting or combat, and yet, he always decided to not be useless once in a while.

He shot 2 Eldar pathfinders in the face (They had 2+ cover saves as well) showing the squad he was with how it was done. He killed a carnifex, charged blindly into a unit of Striking scorpions and won, I could go on.

That gave me hope, then useless had to go and die to Tau in close combat.....

fengor
04-12-2007, 10:17
Alerya my warp spider exarch. She made a point in having a CC duel with the lone survivor of a tac squad (marien with rocket launcher) and didnt manage to kill him in 3 full turns (yes 6 CC phases). In the last CC phase of the game the rocket launcher marine took his big metal tube and bonked her on the head with it thus winning the cc.

The Dark One
04-12-2007, 10:28
my space wolf venerable dreadnought with assault cannon and dreadnought close combat weapon has killed about 12 models in 14 games
my grey hunter with meltagun is very good at melting air, i think he's got one kill to his name and that was in close combat
my 5 wolf scouts with sniper rifles will only do one wound a turn between them
my chaos lord with daeom weapon has killed himself every game so far (three rounds of combat and he's dead)
my necron lord can't do anything on the charge
but on the other side i got a unit of grotz that have been charged by a 10 man space marine assault squad and hacked assault squad to peices
my Wolf guard battle leader that almost never misses with his 6 attacks on the charge (no re-rolls)

ghost21
04-12-2007, 10:39
i had a shas'o that killed a wolf lord in cc but never killed anyone by shooting

i had an ethereal that died in every first round of shooting

i had a dark eldar lord that got swarmed by spinegaunts and never killed one

MalusCalibur
04-12-2007, 10:55
@Son of Morkai

That could well have been the funniest post I've read in a long time :D


MalusCalibur

njfed
04-12-2007, 11:25
My Necron Lord. Never hits anything and has failed his Ld test 4 out of 12 times. Since the whole army is Ld 10, I don't need him to be in units, but he always seems to fail the test the turn after he Vails a unit across the board...and into oblivion.

MorningLightMountain
04-12-2007, 12:01
It's good to see that I'm not the only one. I remember one game I had to roll 3 2+ armor saves and I failed all 3. I just looked at the models and shook my head... What else could I do? I will admit though, when they used to hit they destroyed anything they touched. Couldn't make an armor save to save their life though (excuse the pun!)

(The thing is my whole GK army got stolen and I never started them again.)

Yes - I'll cite my entire Daemonhunters force!

I took them for the Medusa weekend battle we did. It was a 4-way battle, I was facing 1K sons, Death Guard, and Space Wolves.

It was the first time I'd used my Grey Knights and I was expecting SO much from them (I'd only EVER played Guard before...) I had a Brother captain with terminator retinue, 7 GKs in Power armour, and 10 storm troopers. I'd spent ages painting them up, given the GKs all individual names painted on their shoulders, everything.

They all died, all of them, without killing a single enemy model. Not one wound inflicted. 4 terminators, 7 space marines, 10 stormtroopers. not a single wound inflicted! I packed them up and didn't look at them again for more than a year.

lord_blackfang
04-12-2007, 12:02
Wow, this thread really had me ROFLing.

I don't have any models with exceptionally good or bad luck, but I do consistently lose in close combat against Tau with my Tyranids :rolleyes:

But my buddy yerpo could say a lot about his own "Lascannon Guy". Never killed a thing, except this one time... when the current Land Raider model was brand new and I bought one from the very first batch and used it for the first time it got popped by Lascannon Guy on turn 1. Oh the shame :cries:

Misanthrope
04-12-2007, 12:03
As a Guard player, I'd have to honestly say that pretty much ALL models in my army let me down. Particularly your average flashlight-wielding Guardsman. Infact, in the handful of games i've had with them, I honestly don't think I've had a single Lasgun-armed Guardsman kill anything. It's a sad, sad day when scattering ordnance weapons are the most accurate weapon you've got...

mongoosedog300
04-12-2007, 12:17
my Fire-Prism in my eldar army. It NEVER hits with anything with its prism cannon, but always hits with it shurican cannon. At points its missed a tyrant with its prism, but taken it out with its shuricannon :p

DartzIRL
04-12-2007, 12:20
Wow, this thread really had me ROFLing.

I don't have any models with exceptionally good or bad luck, but I do consistently lose in close combat against Tau with my Tyranids :rolleyes:

But my buddy yerpo could say a lot about his own "Lascannon Guy". Never killed a thing, except this one time... when the current Land Raider model was brand new and I bought one from the very first batch and used it for the first time it got popped by Lascannon Guy on turn 1. Oh the shame :cries:

It is a well documented thing, that the newer and shinyer a model is, the more likely it will die spectacularly in the first turn.

As a Corollary to this. It's always the ratmodel with the broken barrel that'll do the killing

==Me==
04-12-2007, 12:22
I play Dark Angels and for some reason ==My== plasma cannoneers always, always overheat and/or miss. I should just stick with heavy bolters >,<

Ward.
04-12-2007, 12:39
(The thing is my whole GK army got stolen and I never started them again.)

Now that sounds like a story worth hearing :eek:


While this may only be me, but when a model starts to perform poorly for a long time, it's actually his way of telling you he needs a new paint job.

mongoosedog300
04-12-2007, 12:45
It is a well documented thing, that the newer and shinyer a model is, the more likely it will die spectacularly in the first turn.

As a Corollary to this. It's always the ratmodel with the broken barrel that'll do the killing

Around my parts its that if its the things 1st battle being fully painter, it'll do absolutely nothing in that game.

Most recent case was my banshee's, who, when they were not painted, have taken out such foes as a tyrant, a fex, and a whole squad of stealers.

the game they were painted in....1st turn, wave serpent moves up, sits there til next turn. banshee's get out, fleet, and charge a nearby squad of hormogaunts. low and behold....4 hits (put of about...30 or something) all of which manage to fail to wound. this is about what they do for the rest of the game.

vampires are cool!
04-12-2007, 13:19
My chaos lord that, so far under the eye of the new codex, never gotten into to combat and always died to small arms fire. I would shelf him, but... i just love the model.

RavingGuard
04-12-2007, 13:24
my regular opponent has a wraithlord which is spectacularly ineffective in nearly every game we play.

It always fails to hit with its bright lance.

I always get the warlocks near it and then it tends to roll a lot of 1's for wraithsight.

i normally kill it with 55 points worth of ratling snipers. It also rolls low for saves.

only if it ever makes it into CC do i get really worried by it.

RampagingRavener
04-12-2007, 13:41
The Eldar manning the Dark Lances on my Raiders seem to be criminally incompetant. I don't think I've ever seen them once hit something after dropping their squad off, and the Ravager crews arn't much better. God only knows why the Archon hasn't had them killed off and replaced by now. Oh, and talking of Ravagers, they seem to love bursting into flames when someone waves a small-arms weapon at them. Lascannons and Missiles will cheerfully bounce off that AV11 armour, but if a Pulse Rifle or Bolter gets aimed at the back, they die. Without fail.

My Flyrant, Tinkerbell, seems to waver between fantastic and hopeless. I've seen her get mown down from four wounds to zero by a single assault cannon, or tear through half a Necron army almost completely unmolested. And who'd have thought that two st10 shots from a Carnifex's venom cannon could ever fail to achieve so much; I don't think he's ever killed anything at range...

Angelwing
04-12-2007, 14:08
My space marine chaplain rarely causes any damage.
However, a buddy has a missile launcher marine who (as far as anyone can remember) last hit a target with an anti plant missile in 2nd ed!
also, another buddy fields banshees in a wave serpent. If ever its shot down, the exarch dies in the crash without fail.

BladeWalker
04-12-2007, 14:10
My favorite model, that I spent 40+ hours on painting and assembling is my Venerable Dread... he regularly dies first turn to plasma weapons and has never lived past turn 3. He looks awesome, just not for very long...

Raven1
04-12-2007, 14:14
I remebered another one. I have a demon Prince who usually does pretty good, but one game he fought a IG Vet. Sargent for four turns. If I hit I wouldn't wound.

Earthbeard
04-12-2007, 14:15
Lascannon Models either my CSM or IG ones, never ever seem to hit anything or if they do they roll the "1" for wound......it got so bad, i stopped taking Lascannon armed guys all together.

ursidae
04-12-2007, 14:34
How about an entire squad? And I dont mean some minor Tac squad, but my Command squad. In the lat DA codex you could take a standard that allowed you to take a shooting phase when your opponent declared a charge and it was my Favorite thing to do. So, there I am losing horribly to a Khorne 'zerker army when my opponent declares a charge on my command squad with his DP, and a unit of 'zerkers (now, this DP is the reason I am losing so badly and this is the first and only chance I will have to shoot it all game) So, I pop the banner and un load with my plasma command squad of doom! Cannon... overheats, armor save? failed. Plasma gun... same, second plasma gun... well you get the picture. Even my apoth, vet serg, and commander die to plasma overheating in their hands (the commander had artificier armor!) Suffice it to say that the one regular marine in the command squad armed with a bolter fought valiantly and died quickly. To this day no matter what I do with those models, they will die spectacularly to overheating at the first opportunity! ...They look good on the shelf though!

Treadhead_1st
04-12-2007, 14:52
This was never my worst model by far, but was the most unlucky:


"My Bloodthirster clobbers your Dreadnought with his Big Axe of Doom". "Oh yeah? That axe was fairly pathetic" *powerfists back, killing the Bloodthirster*.

About 3 seconds later, whilst everyone is gaping at the victorious dreadnought, a small piece of metal ceiling beam (about 1ft long) falls and slices clean through the Dreadnought, impaling itself into the games board (its now there as a Monument, complete with fallen Dreadnought - as no one can get the spike out the board..

Dreadnought is utterly destroyed by the impact, with a weird splice down the centre of it - and impaled INTO the games board.

"That a big enough axe for you?"


so I already mentioned the worst performers, and now the unluckiest...not many other models left to go :P

The Laughing Man!
04-12-2007, 14:55
Rail gun hammerheads always fail me. Its why I prefer Ion cannons. I was playing death guard, 5 turns of misses and on the 6th turn it hits a squad with sub munition and does nothing. That pretty much happens every game.

My devil fishes on the other hand usually over perform brutally gunning down entire squads.

Logarithm Udgaur
04-12-2007, 15:03
Nobody in my army consistently lets me down, but my brother has a Gun Servitor w/Plasma Cannon that has yet to hit anything (even with the boosted BS and re-roll from scribes), and usually ends up killing itself.

javgoro
04-12-2007, 15:04
My Space Wolf terminators. They ALWAYS roll 1s for their saves against any shots. I would estimate that Ive failed a good 50% of their 2+ saves, perhaps even more. My friends say that their armors are made of cardboard.

srg.cutter
04-12-2007, 15:05
It may be an urban legend turned into common knowledge, but you never call them missile launchers, stick with rocket launcher ;)
i have never hit anything with a hunter killer missile mabe if i call it a hunter killer rocket ill have better luck

The Song of Spears
04-12-2007, 15:15
I dunno if this counts, as most of my units perform averagely, but:

Whenever it is most important, most critical that Maugan Ra get a rend or two with his gun, then maybe a few hits and wound with his CC attacks to follow up, he will proceed to roll nothing bu 1's and two's. :P

Necronlord3
04-12-2007, 15:32
My Defiler has yet to live much beyond turn 1 except one time when my opponent got the weapon destroyed result twice and took off the Battle Cannon and the Heavy Bolter. Then he just ignored it. I can't even try to hide it and fire indirectly anymore.

RavingGuard
04-12-2007, 15:44
My Space Wolf terminators. They ALWAYS roll 1s for their saves against any shots. I would estimate that Ive failed a good 50% of their 2+ saves, perhaps even more. My friends say that their armors are made of cardboard.

my Raven guard terminators do the same. every shot that hits them kills normally or at least one to two die to every squad shooting at them.

kortholaxthedamned
04-12-2007, 15:49
Eversor killed by 4 grots in CCW. I can't live it down now.

ObiWan
04-12-2007, 15:53
On my group we have something called "The Curse of the Recently Painted Mini" invariably a figure just painted (even if it performed ok or great before it was painted) will flunk the first game is used.

trigger
04-12-2007, 15:59
in my wo;f company i have a grey hunter with plasma gun
he will always kill the fist thing he shoots at , then regular as clock work he fires the second shoot, overheats and fails his armour save.

And my sisters multi meltas, just plain crap ,but this is due to imperial melta tec being rubbish:mad:

Marinox
04-12-2007, 16:06
i have an archon with an agonizer. she hits like a champ especially with re-rolling misses in HtH drugs. i usually get 5-6 hits on the charge

then i tell people: agonizer always wounds on a 4+, powered
and they say: aww MAN, that's killer !!
and i say: don't worry, she's wounding challenged...

it's almost ALWAYS 1 wound. or in some cases 0 if it's a really clutch battle that would help me out alot...

scientist tz
04-12-2007, 16:10
My Assault Marine squad never does jack. Even when all 10 of them get the charge they whiff and end up getting whittled down. For some reason I've had spectacular success with their veteran sergeant when he's the last man standing. He single handedly wiped out 2 squads of fire warriors once.

They completely butchered a big squad of Harlequins once but that doesn't make up for all of their past failures.

Emperor's Avenger
04-12-2007, 16:18
I had an Ultramarine with a meltagun who hit OCCASIONALLY. And when he did hit, it was almost always against infatry. The only time I remeber him hitting a vehicle is when it was an Eldar Falcon with many special rules, which prevented him from doing any damage.

Following my chapter change from Ultramarines to Lords of Vengeance, some models have been retired. He's one of them.

Ravenheart
04-12-2007, 16:38
My HQ never seem to hit something in CC. There is no point in having lightning claws, if you can't hit your target in the first place.

A SW playing friend of mine has really bad luck with melta weapons. Despite many lucky occasions of being in half-melta range, he allway seems to miss. :D

Captain Micha
04-12-2007, 16:40
My Tau Hq. died in every game so far.

electricblooz
04-12-2007, 16:46
Until the first 'Ard Boys tourney, I had never even been able to hit (much less damage) with a single HK missile (firing from IG tanks). In the first round of that circuit, every game every HK missle found it's target and at least stunned it. Which, of course, means I will never be able to hit or damage with an HK missle again.

Stella Cadente
04-12-2007, 16:46
My (ex) Whirlwind, bloomin useless it was
and not exactly one model, but Terminator squads ALWAYS let me down

LightedDark
04-12-2007, 17:02
I have a Warlock that forget to turn on his witchblade. But he's in the larger list now. And my Hawks used always come on turn five. Too busy skywriting I swear.

But in exchange I get a guardians squads that don't run away or fail armor saves. Rangers that love to kill thing armor or otherwise and hide in cover.

Gobbo666
04-12-2007, 17:18
I have a khorne lord on bike who always get failed save the only saves he can make are the invulnrable save.
he likes very much to be killed by lasguns once i rolled FOUR 1`s out of four dices usually its only 2 or 3 1`s there but i have stopped play with him

LightedDark
04-12-2007, 17:48
Okay I remember I really bad one. I have the Hawk Phoenix lord. I got him as an Exarch, the guy selling him didn't know what he was *shrug* I didn't either he was only my second unit of my first army and he was cheap

Then the Hawk did as always show up late but hurt things. One day I'm visiting my friend in other city and the GW there insisted that I had to play him as a Phoenix lord well not exactly but they had scare me into not using him as the exarch for fear of getting kicked out.

That being said the game was fun the Hawk were late and Mr. Phoenix lord drops behind my friend's Tau and fail to hurt them. So the Fire Warrior turn around and open up on him. But I'm not worried right he's got good amour and there are only four of they left. Three wounds Three Ones exploded doing nothing.

That being my Farseer Mind Wared the Shas'el to death and bodyguard right after. Also my lone Guardian change the crsis team and took one with him leaving my friend with one mech, and three-man stealth team about to be change by hawks

We called the game there :D

I still have the Phoenix lord but now I have a proper exarch for my hawks and they do a lot better now remember to pay attention to the Farseer and all that.

TheMav80
04-12-2007, 18:09
I did, one time, have a shield drone kill Eldrad. :D

I have since painted him black, and stole some Eldar decals to decorate him.

Kadrec
04-12-2007, 20:31
Some of my worst performers:

Any Chaos Space Marine toting a Lascannon will fail to hit his target.
Any Land Raider will hit with its Lascannons and roll 1s for penetration.
Any Daemon Weapons will roll 1s when attacking, and I get to kill off my Lord.
Any CSM in a normal squad toting a Meltagun will fail to hit his tank target, even at less than 6 inch range.
My Defiler always dies by Turn 2 at the absolute latest. Usually Turn 1 before I get to shoot with him (as I never pull first turn), even when he's hull-down.

On the other hand:
My Daemon Prince, with only one exception, usually storms in and inflicts 3-4 wounds per turn.
My Raptors have shredded through squads of Terminators, Necron Warriors, Guardsmen, Marines, and anything else they look at, aside from BA Death Company.
My Obliterators may not always hit or wound, but they, if placed on the board during normal deployment, shred *anything* that they shoot IF I don't use Lascannons.

Qualdinesh
04-12-2007, 21:14
Poor Eldrad often gets stucked into the warp, I changed dice since my last game we'll see if things work out better this time :D

BigBadBull
04-12-2007, 21:22
On average I miss about 60% armorsaves with my DW Termys... yet I'm around 90% for making the Invn.

Go figure.

My rail heads have yet to miss, but all ways get stunned or shaken results.

Every one stays away from my Gun drones in CC, they kill many times there worth every game.... yet my Crisis suits get owned...

n00bLord
04-12-2007, 21:50
My hormies do absolutely nothing but get eaten alive by what ever they come in contact with. Last time they went against marines, got the charge on a small 5 man detachment and got raped.

Now they are seen only as glorified fodder instead of fodder.

SwordJon
04-12-2007, 21:50
Oh yes. My Warboss. I had him charge 3 firewarriors once, and he got killed.

mnbrit
04-12-2007, 21:56
i have a sanction psyker for my guard who 99% of the time will roll a 1 on his powers table, giving him the wonderful power of nothing at all. and even when he does get a power, the first time i use it a perils of the warp will result in a S6 hit ultimately ending in his demise

Onlyhestands
04-12-2007, 22:14
I have a leman russ does this almost every game. It moves up to try to get into a good position to advance/fire. A single lascannon/railgun/gause weapon hits the FRONT armor and destroys it. It only lives past 1st turn about 1/4 of the time in which case if I fire its secoundary weapons they miss or the cannon scatters horribly, hitting nothing. The only times it does any damage is when the ordance doesn't scatter and the only time It doesn't scatter is if Its shooting a guards squad or gaunts or something. The only thing I have ever been happy about with it is the one time I tried to hide it behind cover, but I misjudged and it got imobolised/shaken facing impassible terrain around its front(so it cant shoot its secoundary weapons). The opponent thought It was harmless and after the turn when it sat out being shaken the turret turned around and destroyed a hammerhead.

nazrag
04-12-2007, 22:28
Every damn trooper with a lascannon i own!

They are incapaple of hitting vacum in space! :rolleyes:


Also that damned predator, hits all the time, but guess what.. 1 on penetration roll every-time...

Pooky
04-12-2007, 23:35
This is a little aside from the thread topic... Since this was requested, I'll tell the story...


Now that sounds like a story worth hearing :eek:


Well, my 4th attempt painted GK's and my 2 week old Necrons were in a brand new army case (the huge expensive case) in the back seat of my 3 month old Celica. I busted my a$$ to get the deposit for the car and worked a job I hated to make the loan payments. Anyway, it had been a while since I'd seen some old friends of mine and we decided to get hammered/ go clubbing in the city. So rather than drink and drive we took the train into the city. I also left my keys at his place since if I was drinking/ dancing/ talking to girls/ taking my wallet in and out/ being wasted I would probably loose them over the course of the night. Anyway, when we got back home... his house had been broken into. The robber broke in and took all my mates surround sound/ home theatre gear and all his and his housemates consoles. The robber also found my keys and used my car as the get-away vehicle.
The next time I heard anything about my car was it was wrapped around a tree down the coast. I never saw my models... :cries:

The funny thing is I wondered what the robber thought the minitures were in the back seat of the car. He probably looked at them and had no idea what they were worth/ how much they costed and just threw them in the bin. Oh well... Life goes on... :(