View Full Version : Power of the machine spirit... in RL?

21-12-2007, 12:42
Just for a bit of fun, can you think of any examples of 'machine spirit' in real life?

For example:

My car goes faster when its clean...

its true!

21-12-2007, 13:01
I always figured the Machine Spirit was actually a simple form of AI or automation - ie. A car which has windscreen wipers that come on automatically when it rains would have a Machine Spirit.

21-12-2007, 13:01
Yea at work if my radio does not work after performing all the correct rites the ceremonial rap on side of the panel makes it work. Love old fluff.

21-12-2007, 13:07
a machine spirit is when you just want to start your car up in the freezing cold,and after you call it "baby" 3 times and say "please do this for me,i love you" and then she starts up.

21-12-2007, 13:16
I threaten my PC that it'll be upgraded with Vista if it crashes.

Seems to work, no crashes since 2006.

21-12-2007, 13:20
I doubt there is a machine spirit, but I do know that the Orks are right. Red does go faster. :D

21-12-2007, 13:25
I threaten My PC with a Downgrade to XP - No blue screens since.

21-12-2007, 13:32
every used military equipment before, the only way to make it work sometimes is to scream at it

21-12-2007, 14:02
My car's machine spirit hates me. Every time I say something positive about the car it punishes me by breaking down.

21-12-2007, 14:02
Oh, I told my PC to go die, and it did.

And then I went and bought a 24" Intel iMac.

Now when I tell it to dance, it dances.

Marshal Argos
21-12-2007, 15:03
every used military equipment before, the only way to make it work sometimes is to scream at it

I used to threaten everything with a sledgehammer. Even got to the point a few times where I had to bring the damn thing in the shelters with me, and drop it on the floor. Usually the loud bang, woke the "machine spirit" up and it started behaving correctly.

21-12-2007, 15:20
Military gear definately has a malevolent machine spirit. It is uncanny what things can make a radio net work or bring a microwave data net back online. I once had a PRC-119 field radio that would not function when attached to an OE-254 antennae unless I held it in my lap.

21-12-2007, 16:27
every used military equipment before, the only way to make it work sometimes is to scream at it

Or use a BFH on it........... For you non-military guys, that's a Big F...ing Hammer!!

21-12-2007, 17:04
Anytime I've ever put a bumper or window sticker on a vehicle it mysteriously dies :(

Emperor's Grace
21-12-2007, 17:29
At work we refer to this as "The Han Solo school of Engineering".

A quick hit or two and a few "Hold together, baby, hold together" 's work multiple wonders.

21-12-2007, 17:33
I certainly have curse of the machine spirit... 2 months ago my PC mysteriously dies, its still dead, even with replacement mobos etc. My computers at work seem to crash when I go on them... my TV today just wouldn't turn on... I am cursed!
(My PC dying is the reason I have not been on warseer... have to use this Inspiron 7000 (google that!) and it rarely works, again... machine curse)

21-12-2007, 17:41
Don't know about Machine spirit, but my mp3-player seems to have daemonic possession. I really have to use every dirty trick to avainable to get it work, and to start it I usually curse in the name of few thousand different gods.. Same as my old mobile phone, it was almost splitted in halves, but still, it just worked.

21-12-2007, 17:47
My old playstation and ps2 only work for my sister.......first try as well.
Probably beacuse they could never beat me.

21-12-2007, 18:21
Too many examples

One of the rifles at school cadets is sickly crazy uber faulty, it tries to load 2 rounds everytime its cocked (Bolt action cadet GP rifle)
However when I use it, slowly letting the bolt forward and a "cmon hunny" always makes it work.

The car I learned to drive in (a focus) had a screwed up gear system, whereby third often refused to engage going up, forcing me to go from 2nd to 4th and then drop to third, which was tricky, but somehow double declutching with a quick prayer let it work. Probably should have had that looked at lol.

Read "I know you got soul" by everyones favourtie author J.C. So many examples of being "more than machines"

21-12-2007, 18:25
My parent's renault, one with a remote on the key so you can unlock and lock it from a distance, used to refuse to unlock itself until you said 'I can do it!'.

21-12-2007, 21:52
The Machine Spirit loves me, but hates one of the guys I supervise. He has what I call "the sh_ _ finger", better known in 40K circles as "Machine Curse". He touches it, it stops working. I fiddle with it, speak gently to it & it starts working again. Happens twice a week at least.

Consequently he hates my guts. :D

I certainly have curse of the machine spirit...

Must be all that extra Steel, Legion! Maybe you just need to degauss periodically?

22-12-2007, 00:27
I have a mixed blessing. Hand me a weapon other than a shotgun and it will immediately jam. Hand me a shotgun that's supposed to jam after every shot and it never will while it's in my hands. I like my shotgun alot.

Nephilim of Sin
22-12-2007, 01:10
After d/l a nasty virus, my friends computer died. Now, I know nothing about computers, so he just gave it to me for spare parts. I tried three months gently coaxing it, and it would not even turn on (something similar to the Red Ring of Doom). One night, after imbibing my own spirits, I kicked it so hard, the side panel of the tower went flying across the room. Of course, I was wearing steel toed boots.

It turned on and worked perfectly.

22-12-2007, 07:57
My computer once stopped recognizing the hard drive untill I cleaned it's interior. Now, it's even faster than before.

forgotten hero
22-12-2007, 10:28
i cannot believe no ones mentioned Traffic Lights "please stay green, please stay green" repeated until your through *even if its on amber by the time you coming upto them.. "meh, its to late to brake now ;)".

machines with quirks and faults are characters and not just machines, if they where perfect they would be boring. know matter what they are. :p.


me t.v. remote is busted, dropped and smacked off walls, slept on and general use, all this means its busted to ****, held together with sticky tape and blue tac, i could go out and get a new one with ease, but i just cannot replace it, i've had it years, it came with the tv (me first and only tv), its a character, will it work, will it not? the only buttons that work cosistantly are ones on the right hand side and the change channel upwards. teletext went 6months back and tv/av stopped last night. if it worked perfectly its just a tv remote... and you would never really notice it...

22-12-2007, 10:33
My car will not open or start with any other key than mine, being held by me.

Then it will stall after about 150m, and I have to ask it nicely to start again.

Every time.

Also, my old iPod was an Iron Maiden fan, I had 2 albums on there and about 100 other albums, if it was put on shuffle albums, the Maiden would come 1st.

22-12-2007, 17:01
My car will not open or start with any other key than mine

Thats the idea of keys mate:p

floyd pinkerton
22-12-2007, 17:44
hmm, I remember firing an LSW (light support weapon) in the summer, and the stubborn mule refused to stop jamming. I tried to blame my friend loading the thing, but it did it when he was firing as well!

22-12-2007, 18:08
hmm, I remember firing an LSW (light support weapon) in the summer, and the stubborn mule refused to stop jamming. I tried to blame my friend loading the thing, but it did it when he was firing as well!

LSW's are like that, the whole system, while improved by HK still aint reliable imho

22-12-2007, 18:57
hmm, I remember firing an LSW (light support weapon) in the summer, and the stubborn mule refused to stop jamming. I tried to blame my friend loading the thing, but it did it when he was firing as well!

And here I thought LSW meant "long Stupid Weapon" :rolleyes:

22-12-2007, 20:36
I was messing about with my old phone ages ago. It had been dropped, kicked, thrown and generally mistreated with nothing more than superficial damage. One day, I'm telling my friends about how it seems indestructible. To prove it, I propse that I thow it at the floor and see if it survives.
Of course, the first few were fine. Stayed turned on, still did everything. The one time I shout to the whole room "My phone is indestructible!" and throw it on the floor it snaps right in half. I just stand there and laugh along with all my friends.

Another, more recent casualty is my computer. It was running fine and I was preparing to get a new one anyway but I wanted it to run faster so I took the old computer, pulled out the RAM and stuck it in the one I was using.
It didn't even want to switch on. Even when I removed it all and put it back how it was it refused to start.

The pestilent 1
22-12-2007, 20:53
I like to think some deity or another is working on my side every time my computer actually boots up, does that count?

(It's old. terribly old. Some parts cannot be identified by the makers old.)

23-12-2007, 10:29
And here I thought LSW meant "long Stupid Weapon" :rolleyes:

Hehehe, that as well :D Along with 'Crow Cannon' and all the others..

The old Clansman Radio's we used to have in the Army always worked after applying a 'Drop Test', namely dropping the offending piece of equipment onto the floor from a height of at least a metre - worked every time :)

24-12-2007, 03:50

When a car works when its not supposed to, or something breaks after you get home safely, when its just sitting there (as if it could ahve while you were driving) thats the spirit.

Strange enough, people have experienced this.

New Cult King
24-12-2007, 06:15
I did Reiki on an old motorbike I owned a couple years ago, and it ran much better until I could get it in for a service.

Oh, and my Winamp is strangely psychic. It will play incredibly apt songs at the right times. For instance, yesterday my fiancée came home with a new plate, and she must have put it down crooked, resulting in it falling off the table and smashing. When she came up to tell me about what had happened "Dropping Plates" by Disturbed started playing. True story.