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Icewalker
10-10-2005, 18:40
Hi everyone. Just to let you know that this stuff (the weapons i've made) are already copyrighted. So if you take these I kill you. Anyway, I just wanted to hear your opinions on the weapons that I wrote up.

Katars: Katars are weapons (generally used in pairs) that are similar in appearance to claws or long talons. They consist of 2-5 long blades (on average 9-15” long) fused into place on a steel handle in which they can be used with certain kinds of martial arts.

Zanbatou: An old Japanese weapon (translation: “The Horse-Slayer sword”). In middle of the 1st millennium, this outrageously huge and heavy sword was meant to cut the horse from under the rider and then the rider would be killed afterwards. It was deemed far too heavy to use and was considered extremely unwieldy. Those who can carry one have brought the Zanbatou back into use. Generally, the blades were around 7-8 feet long and the hilt was 2 feet long.

Arcanion Weaponry: Arcania is one of the key forges in the human galactic empire. Arcania has also the best weapons manufactured in the human arsenal and is a historical monument where the first battle cruisers meant for interstellar travel were first built. Common weapons made by the Arcanions are dueling pistols, pistols, assault rifles and sniper rifles/long rifles.

Solast Rifle: Created by Edmund Solast, these weapons were capable of destroying almost anything it’s shells penetrated. These dangerous weapons were decreed illegal to manufacture and to reproduce. These rifles are in high demand on the black markets. Arcanion Solast Rifles are illegal as well. What separates a Solast Rifle from a normal assault rifle is that they can be loaded with special shells called “shots”. These “shots” are even more dangerous than the normal shells used in the Solast Rifles able to kill even more targets in an even larger killing field. The different shot sizes are 3, 7, 11, 17, 23, and 29. If a shot 29 is ever used, the chance of survival of the firer is nearly 0. The shots, if used in sequential order over the course of 72 hours, can kill any living creature.

Ringblades: Ringblades are similar to katars, except that instead of talons, there are circular blades. They can be made to be used as a pair (these ones are usually 9-12” inches in diameter) or can be used in a different fashion. The bearer uses a much larger version of the Ringblade (anywhere from 2½-4 feet in diameter depending on the size of the user) which is generally when not in use rests on the user’s shoulder. The Ringblade when used in this fashion is even more dangerous than the pair of 2 ringblades.

Baluhrhrian Blade: Baluhrhrian Blades are essentially steel cords (generally 4-7 feet long) with an electrical current flowing through them. This “brings the whips to life” as many believe. When used in combat, before being activated will be wrapped around the user’s waste.

Döppelhander: A Döppelhander (also known as Zweihander) is a two handed sword. Certain Döppelhanders can be as long as 7 feet. There are many variations on the weapon such as a flamberge.

Pavise: A pavise is a gargantuan shield. Pavises were sometimes uses to protect soldiers utilizing missile weaponry (such as crossbows or rifles) from enemy missile fire. In close-combat pavises were generally useless.

Blade of Illusions: The Blade of Illusions is a huge close-combat weapon used by the Iisvhaj, classified as a pole-arm,, it is a hilt with 2 long scimitar like blades welded into each side of he hilt. When wielded by an Iisvhaj Warrior, the blades appear to be more like thousands of bladed protrusions branching off of the 2 original blades. The weapon is extremely heavy and unwieldy making the use of 2 of them virtually impossible.

Achthlian Hellsword: A sword made up of 4-8 swords. Similar to a Baluhrhrian Blade, it is different in that it is far less flexible. The most flexible parts of the weapon however are the joints which connect the blades.

Bladeshot Rifle: Bladesot Rifles, named after Hlelion Bladeshot, is similar in design to a Sniper rifle except that instead of using bullets, it uses high power slicing shurikens. These shurikens are large enough to decapitate a target with a single well-placed shot.

What do you think? I need help with the realism factors (not on how realistic the weapon is such as the chainsword) like the size and how it would actually perform (how balanced, how unwieldy, things like that). There were more weapons that are mentioned in the story but those ones are far more well known (cloak and dagger, etc). My knowledge of weapons is not the best so the lengths of the weapons could be very off the actual lengths and such.

BTW, the story takes place in 8784.

Hlokk
10-10-2005, 18:59
Mate, Im pretty sure you cant copyright chainswords, Zweihandlers and whip swords, given that their either existing trademarks, real weapons or appear in computergames (Cough*Soul calibur 2* Cough)

I do like the idea of Zanbatou, A huge sword to dismount cavalry, but whats its practical application in 6000 years? Will it be used to unsaddle motorbike riders? Perhaps, to make it more wieldly, you could have it made of thin titanium, and hollow, so its strong, but light as well.

I dont get what the Castor rifle is about either. Correct me if im wrong but I assume its just a really powerful infantry gun. If thats the case, why cant the special shots be manufactured for different weapons?

Also, if your writing a story, I'd recommend you get hold of "On Writing" By steven King, it helped me out a lot when I started writing.

Icewalker
10-10-2005, 19:27
Mate, Im pretty sure you cant copyright chainswords, Zweihandlers and whip swords, given that their either existing trademarks, real weapons or appear in computergames (Cough*Soul calibur 2* Cough)

I do like the idea of Zanbatou, A huge sword to dismount cavalry, but whats its practical application in 6000 years? Will it be used to unsaddle motorbike riders? Perhaps, to make it more wieldly, you could have it made of thin titanium, and hollow, so its strong, but light as well.

I dont get what the Castor rifle is about either. Correct me if im wrong but I assume its just a really powerful infantry gun. If thats the case, why cant the special shots be manufactured for different weapons?

Also, if your writing a story, I'd recommend you get hold of "On Writing" By steven King, it helped me out a lot when I started writing.
Yeah, I know. I need to change some of the names. Some more background. The purpose for the creation and bring back for crazy weapons (aka, the Icthalian Blade/Zweihander, Chainsword, Lashwhip etc, was because of the Black Crusades).The Zanbatou is not used much because of it's weight and everything, even when made of titantium. The select few who use it (for example, Fiors) have extremely strong arms (in the case of fiors, a pair of bionic arms). The Castor Rifle is not an infantry weapon. It was far too powerful for largescale usage and were given only to elite infantry squads such as Talon's entourage.

At the end of the black crusades, each one of them had a Castor Rifle which they had used to ensure the loss of both the Iisvhaj and the humans. Their essential rifles who fire really small really volatile grenades. The different shell sizes (sizes meaning exactly how dead they are) affect different areas and cause diffferent dibiliatations but most of them end all the same way. As for the weapons already made and such, I thought that Zweihander was the German word for a 2-handed sword.

Some guy (UK)
10-10-2005, 20:10
I think there might be to many characters, unless you have several main characters, and the rest background people, (sorry barely read your amazing piece so im not sure what your doing:) )

Maybe, if you wanted, tell part of each characters story at a time, that twist into other stories, so in the first one, the guy might talk to one or two other characters, you wonder who the hell they are, then the next story, you read about one of the characters; that will bump into the person in the first story.

Just an idea. But i have got to say some excellent work, thinking about the background of so many characters, and all the different terms you plan to use :cool:

C ya, Some Guy (UK)

Wez
10-10-2005, 20:19
Make sure you don't bore people by going into unecessary specifics. Maybe mention one or two details of the weapons/characters, but not all.

-Wez

Icewalker
10-10-2005, 20:33
Make sure you don't bore people by going into unecessary specifics. Maybe mention one or two details of the weapons/characters, but not all.

-Wez
Yeah, I guess so. Just to let you guys all know, that's actually all of the characters that are really givena semi-medium role. caira dies in the very beginning, but there are lots of references to her. Luel, Vlad and Fiors are major characters in the story, Luel being the other girl he loves and Vlad being his best friend.

Kagato, Kasara, Requiem, Nydia, Pavise and Hlelion bladeshot are all characters who are mentioned throughout the story but not all of them are met/fought/killed. Meta is met towards the end of the book. Requiem, Kasara, Kagato are middle. Talon is met in the middle of the book and that is the climatic part where Fiors becomes a REAL wreck.

anyway, thanks for all the advice. I'm gonna post up some stuff soon.

Neknoh
10-10-2005, 21:48
To be honest, you shouldn't feed your readers that much information, nor should you copyright weapons that allready are copyrighted or actually existed.

And, after reading all the info about your weapons, I took a shot at the characters, but, after the first one, I was far to tired.

And I haven't even begun to read the story itself, I am to tired by reading all the other information.

So, my advice to you, don't be so accurate with your details or anything, at least not THIS accurate in giving the characters personal profiles and every weapon a thorough description, sounds more like a report or documentary

Icewalker
10-10-2005, 21:57
To be honest, you shouldn't feed your readers that much information, nor should you copyright weapons that allready are copyrighted or actually existed.

And, after reading all the info about your weapons, I took a shot at the characters, but, after the first one, I was far to tired.

And I haven't even begun to read the story itself, I am to tired by reading all the other information.

So, my advice to you, don't be so accurate with your details or anything, at least not THIS accurate in giving the characters personal profiles and every weapon a thorough description, sounds more like a report or documentary
Well, you guys, while technically readers, you guys are my screening audience. I wouldn't tell you guys anything, but I needed to tell you this stuff because this is what matters mostly. Like I've said, these things (like the character sheet and the weapons thing) are mine to keep and won't be released when the story is.

The character thing and the story thing is so that you guys can read it faster and easier.


EDIT: for those of you who do read this thread, I thank you so very much for reading it. I know that it is very difficult to read and digest all of this info.

Icewalker
11-10-2005, 22:38
All this effort for nothing? Come on! Please help. You don't have to bother with the character, Black Crusades and weapons thing, but just read the first chapter please.

EDIT: Working on the second chapter now. Almost finished. Will post it up when done.

Exterminatus
02-11-2005, 15:55
This sucks.

Icewalker
03-11-2005, 20:54
This sucks.
Gee, thanks for the encouragement. I feel really happy. As far as I am concerned, you can go to hell.

I am only 14 ya know? This is the second long story I've written so cut me some slack will you?

Icewalker
23-11-2005, 17:11
Since no one has been reading this, I've decided to just close the thread. Sorry, for those of you who were at all interested, but there isn't enough of you. Auf wiedersehen.