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View Full Version : Fluff for my army...



macattac
14-04-2008, 04:08
hehe, ive been wanting to change the fluff for my army for a while... here is the old fluff

Iron Warriors
6th Company

Background: the Iron Warriors, masters of siege, employ heavy weapons to root out there enemy. Whereas most companies use long ranged warfare, this does not always work. When the enemy is dug in with even stronger defenses then the Iron Warriors can muster the 6th Company is called in to capture strongpoint with fierce hand-to-hand assaults and anti infantry tactics. When betrayed by there brethren, they were all too happy to go excommunicate. Around M34, 306, an event was to occur in the Ihpizara system.
The Ihpizara system is on the far reaches of the Imperium, constantly bombarded by marauding Orc and traitorous Eldar. The prosperous trade colony Mithous of Ihpizara 2 had recently not responded to communications of any kind. When local justicars finally penetrated into the city, they were horrified by what they had found. Bodies strewed everywhere and small malicious daemons picking at the corpses and with chaos cultists roaming the streets. The Arbites were slaughtered to a man. The sole surviving Arbiter managed to get away to help and an s.o.s. plea was sent out for help after waves of daemons started attacking small colonies around the hive.
The imperial navy responded and was deployed to the small world with a detachment of Imperial Guard. When they were repulsed after every attack sent against the contaminated hive, the inquisitor requested space marines. Imperial Fists sent 2 companies, a small taskforce of the 8th armored division and the 6th in its entirety. With space marines and imperial guard on there side, the Ihpizarins knew the fight would be over soon. They were wrong.
The cultists had summoned a great deal of daemons from the slaughtered populace that had not turned to chaos and there leader, a powerful sorcerer Rasputin Elovitch cast many a protective wards and hexes to defend the city from attacks. The Imperial Guard managed to penetrate the city with the help of the 6th company with the taskforce providing long ranged fire support. Managing to capture the Northern half of the city.
The Imperial guard commander led the guard in a brilliant spearhead aimed strait at the heart of the city with the 6th company at the tip. Straight into hell. Also known as a portal to the warp. The host stumbled into the heart of the enemy, what had provided a constant stream of daemons to create such a powerful defense and what would now be there defeat. Through some unknown insight the cultists had planed for the spearhead attack and countered with a wave of daemons, virtually destroying the guard reinforcements and cutting off the 6th company from the outside.
A full 2 months inside the hive, at a standstill battle with the cultists the 6th company continually made advances and retreats. While outside the hive, the situation wasn’t quite as fortunate. The cultists had periodically been opening up gates around the hive, releasing even more daemons on the already weakened defense. As the 6th company continually battled, they began to respect the cultist in their tenacity and power.
After yet another month of endless fighting the company managed to escape the hive after winning a single battle. Only to find that their brethren had fled the planet after the battle had turned sour, taking the strike cruiser with them and soon to commence an exterminatos on the corrupt world. They tried to relay that that they still were still quite alive but were denied on account of navy superiors all believing them dead. Outraged that their brethren had left them for dead, the 6th company of the Imperial Fists approached the cultists with a deal. Either they could unite and become a powerful entity of destruction, or they could continue battling each other and both suffer heavy casualties. Of course the cultists chose the former. With the company librarian dead from the fighting, the renegades accepted the sorcerer Rasputin as there own putting him 2nd in command, retaining the Company commander Railin Darkfey as the leader.
The Host ravaged the Ihpizara system, stopping the extermainatos in a vicious boarding assault, crippling the taskforce and taking the ships for there own, ultimately destroying all in their path and gaining new followers always. They became that of Iron warriors when upon massacring they happened upon an Iron warriors fortress world, once former enemies now bonded by hate for a common purpose. Fueled by a passionate hate for all that is of the Imperuim, which they view as corrupt in all extremes they rampage often to get supplies or just to massacre.
The 6th company now calls the fortress world “Azingrad” there home, launching raids on neighboring worlds and systems constantly looking for dark arcane lore and using skyscraper sized forges to fashion even greater machines of war. They have grown in strength since their first heresy, acquiring new members, such as a renegade cadre of tech-priests and dark Magus Markus Crowbrauwn searching for long forgotten SCTs. They adopted these new initiates with open arms and the techies were all too happy to oblige, using the forages and plundering old Arch-tech. They shared some of their hidden knowledge, including some long forgotten STCs and marine creation processes that they had acquired over a millennia of wandering.
What the 6th Company is up to now, only they can say. But when they rampage, there will be death.

I want to change it to maybe a splinter group from the iron warriors, who during the horus heresy, split away from them, still loyal to the emporer. but when there legion was declared traitorus extreemus, the emperium would have nothing to do with them. so they became traitors and have been slowly corrupted by chaos.

I want to keep the rouge ad mech people, and the traitors, and il later incorperate them.

tell me what you think!

Müller
14-04-2008, 06:41
don't... I like it ^^,

one thing that kept on bothering me though is how you've spelled "Their" (you spell it there)

That's pretty much the only thing that bothers me, besides "approached them with a deal"... I would more or less make it something along the lines of "The company commander spoke to the Scorcerer who's been making their stay unplesant, after the meeting and the Scorcerer had shown the commander the ways of the chaos gods he returned to his men and convinced them to join him and embrace the power of the chaos gods" instead... (approaching with a deal feels just to... hard to work out, on sight deamons and cultists would engage the 6th company even under some form of futuristic white flag...)

Marshal Argos
14-04-2008, 12:42
Ummm... be sure to know your grammar before correcting someone.
Their = adj. of or relating to them or themselves.
There = Adv. In or at that place.
Pron - Used as a function word to introduce a sentence
N - That place, That point.

@OP - It's a great start, but I think the end (last few paragraphs) need a little work. Try reading it out loud to your self and I think you'll what I mean. Also, try putting a space between the paragraphs, it makes reading it a little bit easier.

Oh, "I want to keep the rouge ad mech people" I think you want ROGUE and not rouge (a reddish color).

Müller
14-04-2008, 14:02
yes, and he does say "With space marines and imperial guard on there side" (for example)..

Trust me, no pun intended it's just pretty much the only thing I noticed that could be changed, I like the fluff you created as it is ;)

macattac
14-04-2008, 15:00
hm, okay, thanks for the ideas! the reason it was misspeled was because i didnt realy think it would reach daylight, let alone warseer!:rolleyes:

macattac
14-04-2008, 15:23
Hey Müller, would you mind if I quoted you for that? Maybe change it around a bit but on the same premises.

like the company comander just getting so fed up and cought in the rage that he being a pysker, picking up a chaos icon and openly letting the powers of he warp flow into his body (he is represented by a deamon prince so this is how he possibly was transformed). And when the cultists saw this startiling transformation that had occured, they fell on there knees and brought him to Rasputin.

Müller
14-04-2008, 15:38
Hey Müller, would you mind if I quoted you for that? Maybe change it around a bit but on the same premises.

Go right ahead, always fun to be able to contribute :p