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View Full Version : Hows this for a CSM chapter lore?



omera
26-08-2008, 22:21
Khorne's Flesh Feasters, a once proud and noble part of the space marine chapter of the bllood angels, became a traitor legion when the chapter leader, Perryn Kaltor was deceived by the ruinous powers. At first, he thought he would be able to bring the imperium into a brighter future, until the lust for power began to take him as he listened to the voices of the ruinous powers that have turned many. To this day, they fight for the blood god.

Traits of Khorne's Flesh Feasters...
Armor: The armor is blood red, and often decorated with blood splats. Organs, arms, heads and just about anything else that belongs to a humanoid can be found piked on spikes on the marine's back.

Cannibalism: Khorne's Flesh Feasters are so fanatical, they resort to drinking the blood and eating the flesh of their enemies.

Sorry if it seems vague :(

sigur
26-08-2008, 22:24
Sorry to sound preachy but it's better we sort this out: There are no CSM chapters (call it "warband") and it's "background" or "fluff", not (and never) "lore".

And "Blue Bolters" sounds kinda like a superhero to me. ;) Maybe you want to choose another name for them. Indeed your fluff sounds very vague. In fact, they sound like regular Khorne Berzerkers without anything really interesting to them.

If the chapter master wanted a "brigter future for the Imperium" (whatever that means) on a grand scale, it would sound more likely if any other of the big four got them, not Khorne. But maybe this will be cleared up when you get more into the plans of the chapter master.

And by the way, there is a loyal codex SM chapter called Blood Drinkers so you might consider changing the name of your warband. There's nothing wrong with doing a World Eaters warband, you know. You have all the interesting background, a solid colour scheme and basically everything that your army is at this point.

Adra
26-08-2008, 22:31
Its fine for a base to build on. I dont like the name or the colour scheme but the rest sounds fine, if a little low on details.

Faustburg
26-08-2008, 23:10
Sorry to sound preachy but it's better we sort this out: There are no CSM chapters

Of course there are Chaos Space Marine Chapters, just like this one those that fall all out, rather than a disgruntled officer taking a few squads or a company and goes renegade while the rest of his brethren hunt him...

But, yeah, there are already a Blood Drinker loyalist chapter, so consider changing it...

Ddraiglais
27-08-2008, 08:21
Sorry to sound preachy but it's better we sort this out: There are no CSM chapters (call it "warband") and it's "background" or "fluff", not (and never) "lore".

The Violators, Sons of Malice, etc are all Chaos chapters. While there are warbands in the EoT, there are plenty of legions and full blown chapters that have turned to Chaos.


And "Blue Bolters" sounds kinda like a superhero to me. ;) Maybe you want to choose another name for them. Indeed your fluff sounds very vague. In fact, they sound like regular Khorne Berzerkers without anything really interesting to them.

Here I agree. The OP should put a little more thought into the chapter's name. I disagree about anything interesting. The OP should run with the cannabilism idea.


If the chapter master wanted a "brigter future for the Imperium" (whatever that means) on a grand scale, it would sound more likely if any other of the big four got them, not Khorne. But maybe this will be cleared up when you get more into the plans of the chapter master.

The WE, SoH, AL, and others initially thought they were saving the Imperium. If the WE could turn to Khorne with (initally) good intentions, then why couldn't a modern day chapter?


And by the way, there is a loyal codex SM chapter called Blood Drinkers so you might consider changing the name of your warband. There's nothing wrong with doing a World Eaters warband, you know. You have all the interesting background, a solid colour scheme and basically everything that your army is at this point.

Yeah, a name change would probably be best. That could confuse opponents.


To the OP: I like your basic idea. I'd recomend a little more thought on both of the chapter's names. I love the cannibalism idea. I have a thought on a route you could go. Why not make this chapter a BA successor chapter? They already have the black rage. I don't think it's too far of a leap to imagine a chapter afflicted by the black rage going full blown cannibal once they turned to Khorne.

omera
27-08-2008, 11:08
To the OP: I like your basic idea. I'd recomend a little more thought on both of the chapter's names. I love the cannibalism idea. I have a thought on a route you could go. Why not make this chapter a BA successor chapter? They already have the black rage. I don't think it's too far of a leap to imagine a chapter afflicted by the black rage going full blown cannibal once they turned to Khorne.

That sounds good. I got some questions though...
1. Would a renegade commander manage to pull a chapter's worth of marines from the blood angels?

2. Whats the black rage?
Thats it =/

Edit: Is the new name 'Khorne's Flesh Feasters' good?

Ddraiglais
27-08-2008, 17:24
I said black rage, but meant red thirst. The black rage fits too. The black rage makes the BA almost bezerker like. It's from remembering Sanguinus' death IIRC. Those afflicted with the black rage usually end up in Death Company. The red thirst is another flaw of the BA and their successor chapters' gene-seed. It makes them want to drink blood. I figured you could take the black rage and red thirst a step further and have a BA successor chapter that has turned to cannibalistic Khorne bezerkers.

Khorne's Flesh Feasters is a better name, but still might get confused with the Flesh Tearers. I'll try to think of some suggestions you might like.

omera
27-08-2008, 20:05
I said black rage, but meant red thirst. The black rage fits too. The black rage makes the BA almost bezerker like. It's from remembering Sanguinus' death IIRC. Those afflicted with the black rage usually end up in Death Company. The red thirst is another flaw of the BA and their successor chapters' gene-seed. It makes them want to drink blood. I figured you could take the black rage and red thirst a step further and have a BA successor chapter that has turned to cannibalistic Khorne bezerkers.

Khorne's Flesh Feasters is a better name, but still might get confused with the Flesh Tearers. I'll try to think of some suggestions you might like.
Thanks in advance.