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Zapp Brannigan
30-11-2005, 17:55
I'm working on a script for a movie I'm doing for my Comm-Tech class and I would mind some feedback :). I'll be editing it as I add more to my script, for now I only have an intro... I also need a name for my movie if anyone'd like to think of one... The script itself doesn't have to follow any guidelines and structure so I'm bypassing most typical script writing laws just for my own convinience... I'm pretty sure that one-page-per-minute does not apply to my script, and I put semi-detailed actions and descriptions of events in my script. The movie, for the most part, takes place in my school, as I have very little flexibility for location. Thanks for reading!


(I should explain that everyone in this world acts like either a character from an RPG game, FPS game, or MMO game, and they percieve the world just as a character from that game would, which will be made obvious as we actually imput UI images into the game [you'll even see a trade window open up with the MMO main character at some point :D]. The "Main Character" and "Sub Character" titles are given to the characters here merely to identify their roles as non-important RPG characters.)




INT. NARRATOR VOICE OVER MONTAGE OR SUBBED SCENE


Either a brief montage of clips depicting the things said in the narrator’s voice over, or a subbing of the things said by the narrator.

NARRATOR (V.O)
Hundreds of years ago, a massive catastrophe engulfed Innsifil, cutting it off from the rest of the world. Society torn asunder, the town turned against itself; thousands died. When all who were left were the children, the social-barrier dividing everyone grew until each different group went to war with each other. Religious fanatics began to believe in the religion of music, people who were once thought of as famous musicians became regarded as gods, their words became divine instructions, their albums became the holy medium. Goths, preps, nerds, and many more commenced a massive bloody war for supremacy over one another. Well over a century into the conflict, the last surviving group were the nerds and they rebuilt civilization in their image… This is their world, the world where games shape a person, where intellect is paramount, where the pwning of n00bs is the meaning of life…


SCHOOL MAIN HALLWAY/ENTRANCE SIDEWALK
AARON, JASON, ADRIEN, VINCENT are standing together in the hallway talking.

AARON
We’re done here… Is everyone prepared to leave?

JASON
Yeah… I’ve bought all the equipment I need from the caf… 99 potions and hi-potions, some materia and phoenix downs…

< CREDITS FLASH>

ADRIEN
I’ve gotten our summons limit breakers up. We should do this.

VINCENT
Mana’s at max, the gods smile upon us this day.

AARON
Alright… Let’s do this boss fight…


Vincent, Adrien, and Jason are seen advancing on Aaron. As they get close, there is a transition into a credit flash.


<CREDITS FLASH>

Aaron is seen running down the hallway, out of the main doors, towards and down a sidewalk in clips.
When Aaron gets on the sidewalk, there is a battle-transition where the screen does the cool dissolve thing.

All characters are seen lined up besides each other. Aaron has a sword There is a FF1 UI around the screen.
IMA_PWN_U_N00B is standing opposite of them, a long-haired ninja in a trench coat with a sword.

AARON
You’re not one of the monsters in this place… What boss fight is this!? Who are you!

IMA_PWN_U_N00B
I… Ima_pwn_u_n00b!

<CREDITS FLASH>

JASON
Your turns up man… Lets show this n00b what it means to get haxx0rd!

AARON
Right! Power Cleave!

<CREDITS FLASH>


Aarons sword is being swung at Ima_pwn_u_n00b.

IMA_PWN_U_N00B
Counter Attack…


Ima_pwn_u_n00b parries and slashes at Aaron

<CREDITS FLASH>



Main Character takes significantly high damage, his hp is in critical levels, he drops to one knee.

AARON
Damnit… He’s a tough one…

<CREDITS FLASH>

AARON
I don’t think we’re high enough level to take him down.

VINCENT
Don’t worry man, we’ll just level up and try later. Let’s run.

AARON
No harm done I guess. Let’s do it!

<CREDITS FLASH>


CULTIST 1 and CULTIST 2 appear behind the protagonists of this scene. They block their escape route.

IMA_PWN_U_N00B
So… Where do you n00bs think you’re going? I’m not finished pwning you yet…

AARON
Main Character #1: No… God damnit… Who are you guys?!

CULTIST 1
We’re the PWND Faction, n00b!

CULTIST 2
We’re the New Game Order!

<CREDITS FLASH>

IMA_PWN_U_N00B
You have no chance to survive…


Fade into title

IMA_PWN_U_N00B
Make your time…

BozzyB
30-11-2005, 18:35
Very, original. Me likey.

Though I'm not quite sure what you mean when the credits repeatedly flash.

Is it the credits, like your name and everyone involved? Or am I missing something?

And what would the falshing of the credits hope to achieve? Besides, of course, mass confusion.





BozzyB

Cpt. Drill
30-11-2005, 18:41
I am sure that you and your friends like RPG's but... I doubt your teacher or classmates do.... SO this will be funny for you..... i doubt so hot for anyone else....


As I read the setting... a little bit of me died

Zapp Brannigan
30-11-2005, 18:49
Well, actually, our teacher is one of the "weird 'uns" and knows what we're doing, all the other class mates will at least grasp the concept :p

As for the credit flash parts, at the end of the line, there is a sudden white flash which changes to black, a credit flies in from the side, followed by a sudden white flash to the next clip. The only credits shown are the important ones, so only a name or two, the full credits are in the end of the movie.

Bmaxwell
30-11-2005, 23:36
good luck with this one man. I like the idea and its a good idea for a film but you need to not make it a comdey if your going to do this.

try to acauttly to have a real story so all you would need to change is the names for the boss something else. And let me tell you form exprience the credit flashing will have your audcaince not only extremly confused it will aslo make them some what mad. and to tell you honsetly theres no reason for it. so change the boss and the cultist names form PWN_N00B to something that could be in a real ff7 story line.

I Go to school for film so that why i really went anal on you.

Mad Makz
01-12-2005, 00:40
The comedy of this situation is really just watching something you know on the screen. It's pretty much an in joke only.

There are lots of things you can apply to this story to make it more appealing to a wider audience (i.e your classmates who are not computer RPG'ers).

Specifically: "Fish out of water" You mention that some of the characters act like someone out of an FPS game. Why not have one of the protagonists an FPS hero (whereas as they stand now they all appear as MMORPG/RPG characters). Have him turn up looking all Rambo like or something and the other characters ask "What are you Wearing!?" and he replies "What do you mean, this IS a computer game right?".

That brings about another gag, breaking the fourth wall, letting your audience know that the characters know what the audience watching isn't real.

You can then repeat this gag later on, say they are mean to be saving a princess or something, instead the FPS guy rounds the corner and blows here away with the rocket launcher. Everyone looks at him in dumb shock, and he says "What? This is a computer game, right?"

Equally you could have a character who tries to pull the clothes off everyone they fight and beat, and everyone else looks at him like he's some sort of perverted weirdo, but he insists he's just "looting the corpse"

If you make FUN of the conventions of each genre, rather than just replay the farcical conventions that happen in the game, you'll be able to appeal to a wider audience.

Lord of Misrule
01-12-2005, 04:06
Hail, I am Ima_pwn_u_n00b. I am here to speak about this script and film.

The movie is filmed in a serious manner and is made to be serious, as Makz stated. The audience will be laughing at the fact that what they are seeing is actually what they play. The scenes will be filmed in FF-based battles, they will have MMO chat logs, the classic FPS view with the gun at the side, and typical health and mana bars. Obviously a non gamer will not understand the use of them, and will not find them funny. The movie is made for the gamer-type. We know certain people won't like this, but you cannot please everyone with a film. For example, a horror fan seeing a romance film. That horror fan would probably not enjoy the romance.

I believe that the film is ment to be real, and that these game characters can actually do what they are doing. There is the diversity of games due to cults, clans, and guilds. One of the protagonists will be an FPS, along with the MMO and RPG. This film will bring the many types of games together and seeing how they will interact with eachother (looting the corpse, and differences of clothes).

I'm sure statements about 'n00bs' and 'hacking' will pull a chuckle from the wider side of the audience, but as mentioned before - this is for the gamers. Not everyone will understand. Even if the ones who participate in the film are the only ones who like it, it should still be worth the effort.

Edit: Might I add, some seens will contain 'Teh_Pwnerer vs. Teh Masterer', Pure Pwnage epicness.

Zapp Brannigan
01-12-2005, 04:10
I couldn't have said it better myself LoM! Thanks for the support.

Lord of Misrule
01-12-2005, 04:14
I hope I cleared some things up.

I had an idea of adding a D&D-type cult, like a sub-MMO. They'd obviously speak of and fear the mighty Lord of Misrule himself - Chester. They'd also speak of +1 magic, skills, feats, etc.

I just think mentioning or showing Chester would be highly amusing. Maybe have him run through the background and the FPS character Head Shots him?

Zapp Brannigan
01-12-2005, 04:19
Hahahaha... Of course, maybe you should let these fine Warseerians know about Chester before you start going on about him?

Lord of Misrule
01-12-2005, 04:25
Heh-heh.
His story is far too long, but he is basicly one of our famous (and cruelest) D&D characters whom is now a god-like being ruling over the world. The players in my campaign often cower when I speak his name because they can never expect anything that comes from the hands of Chester. =D

Chester had always been put into the worst of situation, and - with fools luck - survived. We all love the crazy fool.

---

*Chester the Jester has entered the world*

FPS shoots him.

*Chester the Jester has been slain*

It'd be an amusing mockery of Chesters might, being taken out in one shot. ;)

Zapp Brannigan
01-12-2005, 12:20
--<<RFK>>--D4rkstr1d3r's headshots will claim the lives of all who dare cross his path, even the mighty Chester the Jester!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA

Zapp Brannigan
01-12-2005, 17:46
SCENE 1 FOREST PATH, DAY
DARK STRIKER, CHAR1, CHAR2, CHAR3, and CHAR 4 are fighting against ENEMY1, ENEMY2, ENEMY3, ENEMY4, AND ENEMY LEADER in a historic re-enactment of a famous gangsta-nerd war from 130 years ago.
Dark Striker and the sub characters are huddeled inside the forest, crouched, discussing the battle plan.
Enemy Leader is taking cover behind logs on a path with his team mates.
All characters are armed with an assortment of mock guns (more then likely nerf guns).
(Communication is assumed to be over some kind of communication devices (a mic or whatever)


ENEMY LEADER
Darkstriker, you hear me?

DARKSTRIKER
Don’t bother me n00b.

ENEMY LEADER
You call me a n00b now, just wait until I pwn your ass. All my life I’ve been second to you Darkstriker, all my life you’ve been praised as the master of FPS warfare. Today, I prove everyone wrong!

CHAR2
Do you think we can beat his team?

DARKSTRIKER
Hmph, this guy doesn’t know what he’s got himself into. This place here, this is an ancient battlefield. My great great grandfather, the original DarkStriker, lead the Lords of FPS against the final Gangsta offensive, wiping out their army and ending the reign of gangsta rule over these lands. So long as Darkstriker blood runs through my veins, the deletion gods will be on my side.

CHAR3
I hope you’re right… What’s the battle plan?

DARKSTRIKER
Our enemies aren’t total n00b, they’re gonna be using pro tactics to beat us, so you’re all going to have to listen to every instruction I give you. Is this clear?

CHAR4
What are you talking about? We don’t need tactics, all you need is to get the Headshot!!! You’re all n00b, I don’t know why the hell I’m playin’ with you guys for. I’ma take ‘em all out, I’m like a one man army.
Char4 starts to run towards the enemies.


DARKSTRIKER
Damned n00b… Everyone watch, this guy’s going to be completely haxxord.

Char4 is seen running through forest, jumping around and aiming in crappy, mock professional soldier style. When an enemy appears, he freezes and gasps, he fires and dives for cover, completely missing. He starts firing wildly at where the enemy was, who can’t be seen. Eventually he stops firing and looks up, a look of panic on his face.

CHAR4
Did… Did I get him?
Enemy2 appears behind him.


ENEMY2
noob.

Char4 looks over his shoulder.


CHAR4
That’s the ghey…

Sudden change to black.


HEADSHOT VOICE
Headshot

m1s1n
01-12-2005, 19:55
I know you do not want it to be in "Hollywood" format, but it does make it a lot easier to read. I also agree with everyone else--this is just an in-joke. Should be fun for your friends--and I encourage the idea of creating something that you want to watch.

If you want a tutorial on putting it into proper format PM me and I'll write out the general guidelines.

Lord of Misrule
01-12-2005, 20:06
I belive you are right... a 'Hollywood'-type format would be easier to follow.

I'll let Zapp take care of that.

Zapp Brannigan
01-12-2005, 20:40
Actually, I was thinking the same thing... I wanted some game shots, but I was thinking too much... I'm not dropping the UI's, but I'll be going with more professional shots :p

And tutorials are always handy :)

m1s1n
02-12-2005, 01:16
Okay . . . goes like this--

Scene heading in all caps (INT. MIKE'S HOUSE/BEDROOM-NIGHT)
All action is left alligned.
All transitions are right alligned and in caps (FADE IN/FADE OUT).
The first time we meet a character there name is in all caps (In walks JEREMY, a young man with a bit of a limp).
When a character speaks their name is in all caps, center alligned.
Parantheticals are never capitalized, and generally avoided (with frustration)
Dialogue is center alligned, ideally with margins.

So an example:


FADE IN
INT. MIKE'S HOUSE/BEDROOM-NIGHT
MIKE sits by himself reading the latest issue of White Dwarf magazine. He glances down at his watch, notices the time, and sets down the magazine.
Mike gets up and walks across the room, picks up the phone, and dials a number.
A JAIMIE from Pizza Hut answers the phone.


JAIMIE(voice over through the phone)
Thank you for calling Pizza Hut--this is Jaimie. Will this be take out or delivery?

MIKE
Delivery please.

JAIMIE(v.o.)
Alright, can I get your phone number?

MIKE
Hey--slow down kitten, we just met.


FADE OUT

Try to keep everything in the present tense--and if it is just a script for people to read do not include camera directions. Each new action gets a new line, but only put a space between differing elements (ie changing between action to dialogue, or from one speaker to the next).

Anyway, good luck. I hope this helps you. If you have any other questions let me know.

Mad Makz
02-12-2005, 02:43
Seriously guys, what you are writing, it might be funny the way you envision it, but I think you'll be disappointed when you get to actually filming it if you don't try and inject something other than pure in-jokes.

Again, I am not saying that in-jokes are bad, but it's even better when the jokes are multi levelled (i.e a gag that anyone can get, and that gag is even FUNNIER when you know the ins and outs of what's going). Why not at least try to appeal to a wider audience (i.e outside people who know the specific circumstances of the gag)?

I know, it's just a class project etc. Film making/Story Telling is just my passion, so I am quite vocal in my view that if you are going to try and tell a story, try and tell a story that has a strong innate appeal.

Lord of Misrule
02-12-2005, 03:13
Okay, I now see your point. This movie is obviously pointless to a non-gamer, but if they vaguely understand the concept then why not throw in a few outter jokes for them?

There's also the fact that this should be seen as a serious movie, so any joke would be 'in' anyways. We'll see how it rolls along I guess.

m1s1n
02-12-2005, 05:18
Again, I am not saying that in-jokes are bad

I am.

I think in-jokes are a terrible idea. I think you have the option of appealing to more people than yourselves, and that you should totally embrace that idea. You have the opportunity to start the actual process of filmmaking--going beyond "a bunch of friends running around with camcorders." It's not like I am suggesting you enforce set protocol--just try to make something that more than five people will get (five being a relative number in this instance).

A good narrative with interesting characters and interesting conflicts is all it takes. If those elements are present it doesn't really matter what else goes on.

Lord of Misrule
02-12-2005, 20:04
We don't need this to appeal to anyone. Aslong as the film looks nice then he gets a good grade - because that's all the really matters.

Last years I had to film a commercial for a Witch Burning company. Nobody understood my inside jokes on Witch Burning, but I got near perfect. It just how the film looks.

I think we're a bunch of friends running around with expensive camera equipment, rather than just camcorders.

Zapp Brannigan
03-12-2005, 18:57
Your script advice is still something I'm taking... Soon I'll be updating the scripts here with a more professional version of scripting... Thanks :)

EDIT: Quick question... How would I do the intro-voice scene if it isn't technically a scene?

m1s1n
04-12-2005, 00:34
You would describe the images in the montage, then you would create a dialogue--replace the character name with "NARRATOR (voice over)" or "NARRATOR (v.o.)".

If you do not know what the images in the montage are going to be, just say "A montage of (specific) images."

Since the images will be stock footage, or something too complicated and redundant to label do not worry about scene headers for the montage. Keep your descriptions simple if you can, add more if you feel the need to--but you really only need to give the basics.

Outside of montages every new scene gets a new scene header.

Example:

A brief montage of surfers riding on waves.


NARRATOR (v.o.)
Before Jack O'Neill surfing along the central coast of California was limited to the summer, or for the clinically insane. When Jack O'Neill brought out his new neoprene design the world of surfing exploded.

Mad Makz
05-12-2005, 03:21
Ok, well I can't really comment on the idea of doing a 'serious' film in such a fashion, I just can't see how it could be appealing if it was 'seriously' replicating the mechanics of a videogame of some sort (why not just watch people playing the video game, which is a fairly dull thing to do anyway)

And while getting a good grade is a nice thing, it's even better to have something that you can look back on and enjoy and show others later on.

Trust me, once you are outside of a learning environment the opportunities to use expensive equipment pretty much dry up unless you are paying for it, so if you are interested in filmmaking at all beyond just getting a good grade for this project, then I invite you to challenge yourself in the story telling deparment.

Anyway, good luck with your film, hope you get a good grade!

Zapp Brannigan
05-12-2005, 03:29
I've updated my script in a more proffesional style, but only the first post, not the second... I'm doing a complete re-write of that scene. I don't think I'll be filming it entirly in first person, so I can use more dramatic shots.

Zapp Brannigan
06-12-2005, 17:38
I've updated the FPS scene on page 2, it's much better, albeit unfinished...

In the intro for the characters, I'm introducing them each individually, going about their business in their gaming world, basically. However, they both have a run in with members of the PWND cult (a cult I've now created a background for, and a reason for everything they're doing. They're nerds who began to worship the ancient Dark Gods of the Gothic Army, and they're trying to convert the people into Cybergoths). I'm contemplating having the first transition to the MMO guy here, or have it continue on until he meets the cultist and then do the transition. Which would be better?

Zapp Brannigan
07-12-2005, 18:35
SCENE 1 FOREST PATH, DAY
DARK STRIKER, CHAR1, CHAR2, CHAR3, and CHAR 4 are fighting against ENEMY1, ENEMY2, ENEMY3, ENEMY4, AND ENEMY LEADER in a historic re-enactment of a famous gangsta-nerd war from 130 years ago.
Dark Striker and the sub characters are huddled inside the forest, crouched, discussing the battle plan.
Enemy Leader is taking cover behind logs on a path with his team mates.
All characters are armed with an assortment of mock guns (more then likely nerf guns).
(Communication is assumed to be over some kind of communication devices (a mic or whatever)

ENEMY LEADER
Darkstriker, you hear me?

DARKSTRIKER
Don’t bother me n00b.

ENEMY LEADER
You call me a n00b now, just wait until I pwn your ass. All my life I’ve been second to you Darkstriker, all my life you’ve been praised as the master of FPS warfare. Today, I prove everyone wrong!

CHAR2
Do you think we can beat his team?

DARKSTRIKER
Hmph, this guy doesn’t know what he’s got himself into. This place here, this is an ancient battlefield. My great, great grandfather, the original DarkStriker, lead the Lords of FPS against the final Gangsta offensive, wiping out their army and ending the reign of gangsta rule over these lands. So long as Darkstriker blood runs through my veins, the deletion gods will be on my side. No one can beat me!

CHAR4
What about Arcade Cyphur, eh!? He could take you at any game.

DARKSTRIKER
Arcade Cyphur? Arcade Cyphur is a myth, a false messiah for all you gullible fools.

CHAR4
You nub, Arcade Cyphur is the greatest gamer ever. He fought in the great wars; he is master of all gaming styles, even the Old Ways, the consol ways! He’s the only one to have ever reached Final Boss, the only one to commune with the great Mario, he even –

DARKSTRIKER
Don’t spam me with your religious babble… The gods don’t interfere with our lives, the gods didn’t create this Arcade Cyphur, and no one has ever managed to commune with the Mario. He doesn’t exist, and even if he does, he doesn’t in this game. So shut the hell up. N00b.

CHAR3
I hope you’re right… What’s the battle plan?

DARKSTRIKER
Our enemies aren’t total n00b, they’re gonna be using pro tactics to beat us, so you’re all going to have to listen to every instruction I give you. Is this clear?

CHAR4
What are you talking about? We don’t need tactics; all you need is to get t3h Headshot!!! You fool, I am a believer of Arcade Cyphur, and he will guide my shots! You’re all n00b; I don’t know why the hell I’m playin’ with you guys for. I’ma take ‘em all out, I’m like a one man army.


Char4 starts to run towards the enemies.

DARKSTRIKER
Damned n00b… Everyone watch: this guy’s going to be completely haxxord.


Char4 is seen running through forest, jumping around and aiming in crappy, mock professional soldier style. When an enemy appears, he freezes and gasps, he fires and dives for cover, completely missing. He starts firing wildly at where the enemy was, who can’t be seen. Eventually he stops firing and looks up, a look of panic on his face.

CHAR4
Did… Did I get him?


Enemy2 appears behind him.

ENEMY2
n00b.


Char4 looks over his shoulder.

CHAR4
That’s t3h ghey…


Sudden change to black.

HEADSHOT VOICE
Headshot


DARKSTRIKER
That’s why you’re all going to listen to what I say. If you don’t, they’re going to get a headshot on us.

CHAR1
How are we going to win? They outnumber us now.

DARKSTRIKER
You’d think so, but that nub actually did us some good. I know where one of the enemies is. Now we can get revenge by showing him a true headshot.

CHAR2
Heh… Lead the way sir.

DARKSTRIKER
Alright… You (pointing at Char1) are going to hunt down the guy who shot the n00b, while I circle around. You’re going to distract the guy who killed the n00b by laying down covering fire, making it a bitch to be near you. While he’s distracted, I’ma get a headshot and down him. You two (remaining characters) are going to go the opposite way, looking for the leader of our enemies. Anyone you find, shoot them. He’s a really good opponent – do not underestimate him. Understood?

All Char’s
Rodger that.


A silent view of the forest is shown.

CT Voice
Go! Go! Go!


Char1 is running, see’s enemy2, starts shooting at him. Enemy2 stops and starts firing back, both go for cover. Other shots show Darkstriker creeping behind trees with the fire fight in the background. Eventually, Darkstriker gets a good shot at Enemy2, he takes it and gets a headshot.
Char2 and Char3 are running down the forest when fire hits the area around the characters. They drop for cover, laying return fire. Enemy1, Enemy3, and Enemy4 are firing at them, Enemy4 is shot by returning fire. Enemy3 sits behind cover and takes their attention, Enemy1 takes full cover and pulls out a mic.

ENEMY3
Boss! We need help, Charlies down, ammo’s running low.

ENEMY LEADER
O.M.W

Char2 takes full cover and pulls out a mic.

CHAR2
Darkstriker sir, we’ve found the enemy; they’re fighting in full force! They’re near bomb site B.

DARKSTRIKER
Fall back, you can’t take him on your own.

CHAR2
No sir! Things are too heated here.

DARKSTRIKER
Damnit… Hold tight, we’re on our way.


As the battle rages, Enemy Leader appears out of the forest, one weapon in either hand.

DARKSTRIKER
N00bs…


He lifts them up, walking in the open, fire pouring around him. He starts firing. Bullets are flying everywhere in front of Enemy Leader, both Char’s are killed.

DOUBLE KILL VOICE
Double Kill!


Darkstriker and Char1 are looking at their enemies from a distance through magnifying glasses. Char1 has a knife.

DARKSTRIKER
This is going to be tough.

CHAR1
Heh… Especially without ammo…

DARKSTRIKER
You should have bought some more ammo before hand… God, I was paired with such n00bs… At least you can follow instructions. It’s a start. Survive this and no one will call you a n00b man.

CHAR1
Right… Let’s do this.

ENEMY LEADER
How could you guys take so many casualties against these n00bs!? Teh ghey… You outnumbered them for Frags sake… Why didn’t you ‘nade ‘em?

Enemy4 looks up from his dead position

ENEMY4
Sir, I fell on a rock or something… It’s kinda uncomfor—

ENEMY LEADER
You’re dead, shut up n00b. Follow by the Eternal Programming.

ENEMY4
I know we’re supposed to respect the laws of the Eternal Programming… But this hurts.

ENEMY LEADER
Egh… Fine, you can move somewhere else.

ENEMY4
Thanks boss.


Enemy4 crawls a bit away and goes back to being dead.
CHAR1 appears suddenly, his hand hits the back of Enemy3 with his knife facing backwards.

CHAR1
Knifed nub!


Enemy 3 is NOT dead, but injured, his health drops significantly. Char1 jumps, the others turn and start shooting, Char1 gets behind a tree and shots are hitting the wood. DARKSTRIKER is seen in the background, he fires and downs enemy3, then disappears from view.
Both enemies turn to look where the fire is coming from, but he’s gone, Char1 takes this advantage to move to a new hiding spot, both enemies stand backs to eachother, weapons raised, circling pointlessly.

ENEMY1
I think the game’s over boss.

ENEMY LEADER
I won’t cede this win over to Darkstriker 69… I’d sooner reformat then give in.

ENEMY1
Well, it’s your choice. I won’t defy the Eternal Programming and run.

ENEMY LEADER
Doesn’t matter, you’re too n00b to be of any use here.

ENEMY1
Slash sigh…


Darkstriker appears beside them, headshots ENEMY1, disappears.

DARKSTRIKER
Give up, the game’s over, you’re outnumbered. You’re outskilled. You’re n00b compared to me – always have been, always will be.

ENEMY LEADER
Never!!!


Enemy Leader starts firing rapidly at where he thinks he heard DARKSTRIKER while screaming.
Darkstriker drops his gun and takes out his knife.

DARKSTRIKER
Losing by knife is most embarrassing way to lose…


Darkstriker sneaks behind the crazed, firing Enemy Leader, runs up to him, and does the same knife thing as CHAR1 did.

DARKSTRIKER
Knifed… Game’s over n00b… Take your team and go home.

ENEMY LEADER
No… No! I couldn’t have lost! I couldn’t! You hacked, you hacked me! HACKER HACKER!

DARKSTRIKER
I didn’t hack… I pwnd you fairly, all I used were tactics and skill, something you lack. Go home and re-install something else, FPS style is not your style.


Darkstriker starts to walk away while Enemy Leader just stands there in disbelief, falling to his knees. Char1 runs up to him.

As they walk away, you see the enemies that were there get up and leave, on the UI it says that the characters have left the game.

CHAR1
Damn man, that was pro skill right there.

DARKSTRIKER
Yeah, I totally pwnd him. He was a n00b – he had it coming. Good job with the knife, you’re not that bad. Cool headed, maybe I should take you under my wing, train you and stuff.

CHAR1
Really? That’d be cool!


A red dot appears on his shoulder. After a few moments, Darkstriker notices.
DARKSTRIKER
What the hell… Games over…


On the UI, it says that “FPS_PWND joined the game”.

DARKSTRIKER
Get down!


The sound of a gun going off is heard, the shot hits CHAR1 and he falls to the ground.

DARKSTRIKER
Damnit! Show yourself FPS_PWND! Coward nub!


A goth guy walks out with a gun in his hands, FPS_PWND. Darkstriker raises his gun.

DARKSTRIKER
Who are you!


Scene fades to white.

Lord of Misrule
07-12-2005, 21:57
Wow what a huge scene.
I think the PWND Cult should be a Matrix-rip off type character, with glasses and jackets, not gothic looking. You won't get any good goth-looking people from this school either. They are all anime noobs.

Mad Makz
08-12-2005, 11:31
Just a quick question, how long is the entire project meant to be? I just ask because you have a LOT of dialogue up there, in some big blocks. 3 words of dialogue equates to about 1 second of screen time.

"Hmph, this guy doesn’t know what he’s got himself into. This place here, this is an ancient battlefield. My great, great grandfather, the original DarkStriker, lead the Lords of FPS against the final Gangsta offensive, wiping out their army and ending the reign of gangsta rule over these lands. So long as Darkstriker blood runs through my veins, the deletion gods will be on my side. No one can beat me!" is about a 20-25 second speech, that's a LOT of screen time for a charactr to be talking for.

Zapp Brannigan
08-12-2005, 12:40
Well, I wanted Goths as part of the story line... They're nerds who have embraced the old dark gods of the Gothic Empire, becoming cybergoths. The few goths that are left are enemies of Nerdism, and Nerds are enemies of the remaining Goths, and the Cybergoths want to unite or destroy anyone who is getting in their way.

Also, though all the goths that are at our school are anime n00bs, they're the closest to looking the part (easiest to find, cheap, not requiring a pay cheque, etc...)

As for the long speech, you might be right. How can I cut that up/shorten it you think?

Zapp Brannigan
08-12-2005, 17:02
Mm... I think I'ma gonna make a commercial for this project about this movie, and do this movie for my classes ISU. It's way too big a project for the time I have, but I've got a perfect amount of time for this ISU. I'll post the commercial script here too.

Zapp Brannigan
08-12-2005, 18:46
(Characters are described as doing "various dramatic things" to ease my procrastinative nature)


(COMMERCIAL)

INT. NARRATOR V.O COMMERCIAL SHOWING CLIPS FROM THE MOVIE AND DETAILING PLOT

Clip shows the main characters in dramatic combat poses, n00bs getting pwnd, etc…
NARRATOR (V.O)
A hundred years ago, our nerd forefathers defeated our great enemies. The armies of the Preps, the Emo hordes, and the many Gangsta forces that opposed us were defeated, and the Goths were reduced to being powerless and abandoned by their gods. For a hundred years we rewrote everything. We embraced gaming as our way of life, we fell under the 1337 gods… Now those who would take it all away from us all have arisen…


Clip showing ARCADE CYPHUR, an older, but wise looking man briefing DARKSTRIKER (Bald, camo, gun), TALON (armor, sword, shield), and CID(tall, jeans and blue shirt, some buttons, goggles around neck).

CYPHUR
They are the PWND cult… They want to merge the Goth ways and the Nerd ways by converting or destroying all who stand against them.


Clips of PWND Cultists pwning n00bs.
Clip of a female PWND CULTIST

PWND_CULTIST
We are the Cybergoths… Embrace the dark gods!


Cyphur yet again briefing the guys in the same place.

CYPHUR
You three are the only ones who stand a chance against them.


Clips of Cid doing various dramatic things, his name appears on the screen.

CYPHUR
Cid, Master of the RPG gaming style…


End clip shows him confronting a PWND cultist with a weapon drawn.

CID
You bastard, you killed my party! Oh, I’ma pwn you now bitch!


Talon doing various dramatic things, his name appears on the screen.

CYPHUR
Talon, master of the MMO gaming style…


End Clip showing Talon indoors raising his weapon in the air dramatically.

TALON
Destroy them in the name of the 1337 gods!!!


Clips of Darkstriker doing various dramatic things.

CYPHUR
Darkstriker 69, master of the FPS gaming style…


End clip of Darkstriker kneeling in a forest with allies.

DARKSTRIKER
All you n00bs are going to listen to what I say, or I’ll headshot you myself!


Clips of combat, pwnage, etc… The clips cut quicker and quicker until it flashes back to Cyphur.

CYPHUR
You will learn how to fight multi-player style, or you will be pwnd like n00bs!


Dramatic shot of all characters standing together with Legacy Weapons (artistic looking keyboard-weapons), followed by shots of PWND cultists and action scenes flashing by faster and faster.
Shot of Darkstrikers face.

DARKSTRIKER
Can’t I just headshot them?


Sudden darkness.

DESPERATE VOICE (V.O. with subs)
Who… Who are you…?


Shot from behind IMA_PWN_U_N00B outside.

IMA_PWN_U_N00B
I…

Ima_pwn_u_n00b dramatically faces the camera, his coat flies back and he draws two swords.

IMA_PWN_U_N00B
I’ma pwn u n00b!

END

Lord of Misrule
08-12-2005, 20:14
Cut it up by... getting straight to the point?
Music adds time relief. Makes things unboring.