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Triggerdog
22-01-2009, 23:14
I rarelly post in these parts but this is an issue that's been bothering me of late.

I've been playing for some time now and recently encountered something of a hobby crisis. I've played in rogue trader tournaments and grand tournaments, even hit Adepticon a few times and none of that prepared me for this. I have three armored divisions of imperial guard with super heavy support, 3 companies of marines, and a large smattering of Inquisitorial units in addition to the starts of a Tau army and yet none of it can stand up to the current threat.

Historically I can imagine real life generals encountering this problem. The problem is not the war or the battle at hand but what comes after. I find myself currently without a place to play and the group that I usually played with has been scattered to the winds. My foes are no longer present for combat and the field of combat has been transformed into a Hallmark store. I have commanded through all manners of tactical scenarios but none have prepared me for the horrors of peace.

So now I come to you, my fellow warlords and commandants, and ask you what is a commander to do when he is without an opponent or field to command upon? I have thousands of dollars tied up in this hobby and now it is simply collecting dust on a shelf. The tanks sit and wait with their tracks rusting and the men languish in boredom. Help me, Warseer, in the name of the emperor help me.

Hicks
22-01-2009, 23:27
Have you looked online for players, or went inside a game store? There aren't a lot of players in my city, but even I managed to find new opponents via the internet.

Nakor
22-01-2009, 23:38
use a mirror for the ultimate challenge.

but seriously go to your nearest GW store and ask.

EVIL INC
22-01-2009, 23:44
Let us know where you live. You might be surprised to find opponants here that are close to you. Do you have a vehicle to drive? Look in White Dwarf for shops listed near you. There have been times when I have driven an hour and a half to get a couple games in (I made sure I had planty of time and set up opponants beforehand so the trip wasnt wasted).
Go online and check the white pages for the areas you can go to. If a shop isnt listed in White Dwarf that doesnt mean it doesnt exist.
Talk to local gamers of other games. A lot of time, the yugio or D&D players will know of people who play or might themselves.
Dont be afraid to SHOW your a gamer. I have had people come up and talk 40k to me out of the blue just because I had a white dwarf or 40k book with me or wore a John Blanche Tour shirt.

Draconian77
22-01-2009, 23:44
Definately make use of the internet.

Or, when you hit a tournament start talking to as many people as possible(Especially the TO). Someone might know of a "garage group" in your area.
Other than that I really can't be of help.

Triggerdog
22-01-2009, 23:45
Have you looked online for players, or went inside a game store? There aren't a lot of players in my city, but even I managed to find new opponents via the internet.

Yes but the problem is in a lack of locations. Not everyone likes gaming at a person's house. I personally have the space for a table but I would rather not have some stranger mucking about in my humble abode


use a mirror for the ultimate challenge.

but seriously go to your nearest GW store and ask.

Nearest GW store was where I played and it shut down. Next nearest is 5 hours away. I live in the midwest by the way

Culven
22-01-2009, 23:53
I suggest that you try calling some stores in the area that might carry GW product. If you find some, odds are pretty good that someone knows of a group and a public place where they meet.

Triggerdog
23-01-2009, 00:25
I suggest that you try calling some stores in the area that might carry GW product. If you find some, odds are pretty good that someone knows of a group and a public place where they meet.

There's one within 30 miles and they dont know of any groups other than the school sponsored one that plays at the highschool which I am too old to attend (must be going to the highschool to attend which I have not for a number of years).

So my real question I guess is do I continue to let my stuff sit or do I fire up ebay and have at it?

Angelwing
23-01-2009, 00:31
Let your stuff sit until you find some new gamers. you don't want to sell the stuff and then the next day stumble on a group.

I moved house last year and had no one and nowhere to play. It turns out some of my work colleagues play, but I only found out because they spotted me with a GW novel under my arm. Also, a new group has just started up and they put a flyer in my workplace.

Triggerdog
23-01-2009, 00:41
Let your stuff sit until you find some new gamers. you don't want to sell the stuff and then the next day stumble on a group.

I moved house last year and had no one and nowhere to play. It turns out some of my work colleagues play, but I only found out because they spotted me with a GW novel under my arm. Also, a new group has just started up and they put a flyer in my workplace.

I only work with two other people, one is a stoner kid and the other doesnt play or have interest in the hobby.

I guess I'll keep my stuff and wait to see if another store opens.

Cry of the Wind
23-01-2009, 00:43
I would hang on and keep the search up. I found a gaming group in a very small oil town in north eastern British Columbia (about the last place I expected to find one), but it took me a few months despite the small size of the place because meeting gamers isn't easy without a FLGS or GW.

I ended up connecting with a group after traveling an hour south for a tournament that I didn't even enter because I could only stay for half the time. Once there I met a few gamers, got some names and a phone number. Next thing I knew there were gamers popping up all over town and they had a school for a gaming room (after hours anyone allowed in this case as the majority of the older gamers are teachers).

I've also found the internet to be great as I have found people to play more obscure games like BFG and Aeronautica Imperialis with, something you normally won't find at the FLGS or even GW.

Long story short, don't give up and keep poking around. You'll probably find some people where you least expect it.

zoodog
23-01-2009, 00:46
http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/storelocator/search.jsp

quite likely if you live in a town that was big enough to have a GW in the US their is another store selling their products which also likely has a game night or at least player matching or a bulletin board. Also check any local universities, just about every one of appreciable size has a war-gaming club and can reserve rooms in the evening to play.

HsojVvad
23-01-2009, 00:47
Well this might sound stupid but put an ad out. You say you played at your GW store but no more. In order to play there, others had to go there right? Where are they now? Mayb by you placing an ad out, one of them will see it, and respond.

As for hosting, get to know the people before you let them in your humble abode. This way they wont be strangers but hopefully friends so having strangers over will not be a problem for you then.

Good luck.

starlight
23-01-2009, 00:53
I would hang on and keep the search up. I found a gaming group in a very small oil town in north eastern British Columbia (about the last place I expected to find one), but it took me a few months despite the small size of the place because meeting gamers isn't easy without a FLGS or GW.

I ended up connecting with a group after traveling an hour south for a tournament that I didn't even enter because I could only stay for half the time. Once there I met a few gamers, got some names and a phone number. Next thing I knew there were gamers popping up all over town and they had a school for a gaming room (after hours anyone allowed in this case as the majority of the older gamers are teachers).

I've also found the internet to be great as I have found people to play more obscure games like BFG and Aeronautica Imperialis with, something you normally won't find at the FLGS or even GW.

Long story short, don't give up and keep poking around. You'll probably find some people where you least expect it.

So, are we talking Dawson Creek small, or Fort Nelson small? I've been through both in the last few months and I'm looking forward to getting back up there. :)

South Peace SQUIGS is a great group (or was last I spoke with them) in the Dawson Area.


Back on topic. ;) Keep your stuff for at least a year or two while you look. Work on new stuff, build terrain you might be okay with donating to a new group to get it going in your area, keep putting the word out. :)

Triggerdog
23-01-2009, 01:00
Well this might sound stupid but put an ad out. You say you played at your GW store but no more. In order to play there, others had to go there right? Where are they now? Mayb by you placing an ad out, one of them will see it, and respond.

As for hosting, get to know the people before you let them in your humble abode. This way they wont be strangers but hopefully friends so having strangers over will not be a problem for you then.

Good luck.

Well my town is rather small. In my area there's a shotgun blast of small towns but nother very large in its own right so its difficult for stores likes GW to thrive.

Another factor with having people over would be my wife who thinks the hobby is silly and a waste of time.

HsojVvad
23-01-2009, 01:04
Well my town is rather small. In my area there's a shotgun blast of small towns but nother very large in its own right so its difficult for stores likes GW to thrive.

Another factor with having people over would be my wife who thinks the hobby is silly and a waste of time.

Too bad about your GW store. I can understand about stores closing.

As for your wife, I understand that too. My wife is the same, but she lets me play my childish hobby. It could be worse. You can be out with your friends instead of playing with childish toys getting drunk and doing other things, witch she won't like. I think she rather have you home playing childish toys with the boys instead of at a peeler bar with the boys.

Hicks
23-01-2009, 01:07
Instead of inviting people to your house, why don't you see if someone would like to host some games? I know a lot of people without cars who are more than happy to invite people at their home for games.

You could have a multiplayer game at first, this way the other person isn't risking inviting a stranger alone in his house and you can have a friend there too.

Wolf Sgt Kirke
23-01-2009, 01:09
i'm in the forces (for a little while longer anyway) and have moved around a lot in my life, i've gone literally years at a time without a game or a gaming group but i always kept my armies - and at times have been in clubs that were fantastic - basically If you keep Faith, the Emporer will provide in the end - besides it will give you time to go nuts on the modelling and painting side of things!

Triggerdog
23-01-2009, 01:13
Too bad about your GW store. I can understand about stores closing.

As for your wife, I understand that too. My wife is the same, but she lets me play my childish hobby. It could be worse. You can be out with your friends instead of playing with childish toys getting drunk and doing other things, witch she won't like. I think she rather have you home playing childish toys with the boys instead of at a peeler bar with the boys.

She'd rather me be home working or taking care of the house than out with people that she knows better than I do and she calls my "friends". I dont have alot of personal friends these days.

HsojVvad
23-01-2009, 01:20
I don't either. But the fact in live is, people need companionship with the wife and friends. One day you will be with you friends if and when you have them. She will be regretting the day she wanted you to be at home working when you are out all the time. Being stuck at home can be sick and tiring when there alot.

You have to do things that is fun for you. Otherwise, sorry to say, your marriage will not last. 10, 20 years later down the road, and it will be over to say my friend. She needs to understand that you need to do your stuff. No matter how silly or childish it is to your wife.

Trust me, I know. Not from experiance, but from seeing it with friends and co-workers.

starlight
23-01-2009, 01:26
I'll back it up with experience. If you don't do stuff apart, you won't have stuff to talk about when you're together...

Cry of the Wind
23-01-2009, 01:37
So, are we talking Dawson Creek small, or Fort Nelson small? I've been through both in the last few months and I'm looking forward to getting back up there. :)

South Peace SQUIGS is a great group (or was last I spoke with them) in the Dawson Area.

The SQUIGS were the hosts of the tourny but the small town I was talking about was Ft. St. John, in between your two guesses funny enough. If you're going to be in that area let me know and I'll send you the number and name of a good guy from Ft. St. John.

Hopefully examples like what me and Starlight have just provided on how to connect in remote areas gives you some hope (and Fort Nelson is remote for those that don't know!).

starlight
23-01-2009, 01:47
The plan is to get back up working in the area (medic/safety) and if I know I'll be able to pick up games here and there, I'll bring up some of my guys. :) So far I've been anywhere from Hinton to Fort Nelson, so anything is possible.:)


Fort Nelson is four hours *past* remote;) up the Alaska Highway for those in the warmer regions.

AfroCelt
23-01-2009, 01:53
I know the Original Poster values his or her privacy, but can you at least mention a state? I've lived in a few in the midwest (and still do, come to think of it...) and may be able to help.

Eater of Small Things
23-01-2009, 01:58
Are there any colleges or universities nearby where you live, Triggerdog? I've noticed that colleges attract a diverse-enough crowd that you usually find a few gamers in the mix looking to start a group.

Best of luck getting through your hobby dry spot. I recommend you try to hang onto your armies, as you never know when a game group might start up.

AngryAngel
23-01-2009, 02:06
Afraid I'm in Southern New Jersey here. We have a nice local group here and a nice store to call gamer home. If you were around here I'd gladly invite you for some games. Just remember we're all brothers here in warhammer. Afterall, we have a whole world who frowns upon our hobby, if we don't support each other, who will ?

Triggerdog
23-01-2009, 03:34
I know the Original Poster values his or her privacy, but can you at least mention a state? I've lived in a few in the midwest (and still do, come to think of it...) and may be able to help.

Southern part of Illinois, practically the center of the country


Are there any colleges or universities nearby where you live, Triggerdog? I've noticed that colleges attract a diverse-enough crowd that you usually find a few gamers in the mix looking to start a group.

Best of luck getting through your hobby dry spot. I recommend you try to hang onto your armies, as you never know when a game group might start up.

There is a college but the gaming group there was shut down after the faculty learned of some cases of under aged drinking. Now gaming of any sort is not allowed on campus grounds.

Maharajah
23-01-2009, 03:50
... the gaming group there was shut down after the faculty learned of some cases of under aged drinking. Now gaming of any sort is not allowed on campus grounds.

Now that is absurd. Were the drinkers wearing jeans? Maybe they should have banned jeans. Anyway, to keep it on topic, I sympathize with you. I've just moved to a new town and can't find gamers either. A guy at a model shop told me there was a gaming club but he couldn't remember any contact details for it and the interwebz is no help yet either!

Shield of Freedom
23-01-2009, 04:56
If you've ever thought about this, go for it now. I'll explain...

When the local store closed in this city my wife and I (both gamers) had nowhere to go or play either.

In the past we often joked about opening our own game store. The government and other agencies are always helping small buisnesses get started. I was a little more conservative though and kept putting it off. Then one day, the wife was pestering me again about it so I said "fine, I tell you what, you do the research and if we can get it going I'll back you up and we can do it."

Poor thing was half way through when one of our friends who gamed with us and we hadn't seen in almost a year told us he opened his own store!

So... maybe look at opening your own? If you think you can do this here are three pieces of advice.

1. Don't just sell games workshop. You would be suprised how much money the card gamers and roleplayers pull in, sell that too. As far as the cardboard crack goes, Magic and Yui-Gui-Oh (spelling?) are the big ones right now. I think Legend of the Five rings is still going too.

2. Only sell other Miniature games (Flames of War, Warmachine, etc.) if at least 5-10 people are avidly into those games. Don't waste money on product that won't move.

3. Stay AWAY from comic books, you'll make NO money off that. That industry is dead, whey do you think there are so many Marvel and DC movies lately? Only the collectors are buying and it's not worth the trouble with your distributors.

Triggerdog
23-01-2009, 05:42
@Shield of Freedom:

ehhhh........no thanks. I already have my own business and it is very, very detached from gaming.

polymphus
23-01-2009, 05:52
I'd approach it from a different direction: have you considered setting up your own club? My gaming club was set up my a local GP and fluxuated between 5-40 people but there was always someone to play. We rented an old sports hall and stored the tables in the attic. Sure it was only one day a week but it was something at least.

spaint2k
23-01-2009, 07:31
Seriously, you seem to have an answer for all the suggestions that everyone else has given you. I'm in Taiwan, and it took me ages to find a group of players here but now I am in contact with three and my gaming situation has never been so good.

Unfortunately, I think the biggest obstacle is your wife. You might think (and you might have been told) that your hobbies and your friends are not worth leaving someone over, but hobbies and friends are a big part of what makes us happy. You don't sound happy and life's too short to waste it on someone who (quite unreasonably) prevents you from engaging in healthy activities without her.

Steve

Brother Loki
23-01-2009, 10:59
Some lists of wagames clubs, including some in illinois. You might find some 40kers amongst them, although they're mostly historicals oriented:

http://grognard.com/clubs.html
http://www.reinforcementsbypost.com/Wargames%20Clubs%20and%20Socs.html

Seriously, clubs are probably the way to go. If there isn't one near you, it might be worth trying to start your own. Does your town have any public spaces available to hire for an evening, like church halls, community centres, anything like that? (Our local club meets in a homeless day centre after hours where one of the members volunteers - only costs 10 per night to hire). How about a bar with a function room that isn't used during the week? Most pubs would love to have a dozen gamers in their backroom buying drinks on a tuesday night, for instance.

Book somewhere for an evening a month in advance, then hit the forums, Warseer, Dakka, B&C, 40konline, Heresy, ATT, Boot Camp. Send a message to BoLS asking them to do a piece on it. I'd be very surprised if you don't find gamers crawling out of the woodwork all over your area, most of whom will be feeling exatctly the same way as you since the store closed down. Most people are happy to chip in a couple of bucks to cover the cost of the venue. Get in touch with the US Community Manager at GW. They do a lot of support for clubs in the UK, I would imagine its the same in the US. It was Dave Taylor but I understand he's left recently. Not sure who's doing it now. Dave is a Warseer member though, so you could PM him and ask him if you can't find contact details on the website.

Hope these ideas help.

Pete

Boo
23-01-2009, 12:51
I agree with starting your own club. I also live in a reasonably small town, in the north of sweden. Not many players around here, let me tell you. ;) But me and a friend started our own club, and we're up to 7 players now.

One of the players is a member of a non drinking organisation, and we get to use their meeting place to play games on weekends. ;) No alcohol included though. :p

So, start a club, that's the way to go. And it seems like it may be the only way for you?

AfroCelt
23-01-2009, 13:24
If you're near either of the SIU campuses then you found the perfect spot to advertise for your own club or start poking around. I know theres a ton of clubs at carbondale that will have knowledge of 40k...even if they don't miniatures organizations, try contacting the anime, roleplaying games, tactics, and foam fighting (yes its there, I just went through their Registered Student Organizations pages!) groups. I know that they'll know someone who plays. All you need is one contact who knows others.

I'd even offer you a game, but the Farthest south I've ever lived in IL is Bloomington-Normal...college days :) . Enjoy that gorgeous land for me...I once had a university trip down to Cairo for its awesome geology.

EDIT: both of the links Brother Loki provided are gold. Check out the Tactical Wargamers out of SIU: Carbondale!

HsojVvad
23-01-2009, 16:08
Seriously, you seem to have an answer for all the suggestions that everyone else has given you. I'm in Taiwan, and it took me ages to find a group of players here but now I am in contact with three and my gaming situation has never been so good.

Unfortunately, I think the biggest obstacle is your wife. You might think (and you might have been told) that your hobbies and your friends are not worth leaving someone over, but hobbies and friends are a big part of what makes us happy. You don't sound happy and life's too short to waste it on someone who (quite unreasonably) prevents you from engaging in healthy activities without her.

Steve


But I wouldn't leave the wife just to play some games. I can't get this out of my head.

Judge, " why do you want a divorce?"

*edit* sorry for laughing, just a funny thought came in my mind. I know its a serious situation, but we have to laugh sometimes.

Husband, " so I can play with toy soldiers, wife won't let me"

LMFAO, just imagine splitting up all your stuff just to play games. And worse off, half his army would belong to his wife. Hey wait, if you go that route, she will have half your army, now you have someone to play with. LMFAO.

Bellygrub
23-01-2009, 17:21
Seriously, you seem to have an answer for all the suggestions that everyone else has given you.

I agree. Just sell your stuff. It seems like you're just looking for the final nail to put in the coffin.

AUN'SHI
23-01-2009, 17:53
find a comic/hobby store they usual have gaming and see if they play WH 40k

SPYDER68
23-01-2009, 18:15
Sounds like your wife wears the pants :P

Giganthrax
23-01-2009, 18:25
She'd rather me be home working or taking care of the house than out with people that she knows better than I do and she calls my "friends". I dont have alot of personal friends these days.
So, you don't have real friends, and the "friends" you do have are the ones your wife choose for you, and your wife wants to keep you home as much as possible, and considers your hobby ridiculous and a "waste of time".

Honestly, you should take your life in your own hands and make serious changes ASAP, or you'll go mad. I know I would.

Sounds like your wife wears the pants :P
That goes without saying. =P

Moriarty
23-01-2009, 18:25
She'd rather me be home working or taking care of the house than out with people that she knows better than I do and she calls my "friends". I dont have alot of personal friends these days.

Hi Triggerdog.

My suggestion would be your local library. Even in the Colonies they have some centres of civilisation, and a library may be willing to host a games club.

My wife is of a similar opinion to yours, from the sounds of it. However, when presented with the option of me gaming or going out and getting rat ar5ed, coming home and pi55ing up the hall before kicking her & sh4gging the dog (like _real_ men do), she wisely came to terms with my gaming.

Best of luck.

Lord Inquisitor
23-01-2009, 18:36
Some suggestions to the OP:

If your wife is absolutely against your hobby you have an issue. I've had similar situations and there is no substitute to sitting down and having a chat. If you explain that this is an important part of your life and that it will allow you to build your own circle of friends, she should come around. She may not like it, but if she knows it is important to you it shouldn't be a problem - there can always be an arrangement whereby if you have "weird toy gamers" round to play, she can have something she wants or finds important that you don't care for.

Look for gamers. Anywhere, even if you have to drive some distance. Maybe you can get hold of people who used to play. Don't give up. I've had such situations - when I first moved to the US I basically didn't play for a year. Eventually I discovered someone at work played and another friend's husband played - and then I found a gaming store not too far away - now I've quite a circle of friends who play. Once you've found someone to play against, then you need somewhere to play, but that isn't as hard as it might seem.

AngryAngel
23-01-2009, 18:47
I don't know, you've brought this all out to the fore. So just something I've noticed that you've said.

1, You say your wife thinks its stupid, and wants you to spend time with "your" other friends. Which are people your wife likes, perhaps more or entirely more then you. That is concerning. If you don't really dig um, don't hang out with um. They should be your friends, period.

2, You seem to be rather dismissive of actually trying to find someone to play with. Do you want to even try anymore ? Or do you actually just want to sell your minis because your wife thinks they are stupid ? If your looking for people to just agree with what you've already figured you want to do. Just say you want us to tell you to sell them. It just doesn't feel like you want an actual opinion, just backing of your own.

3, People do plenty of things I consider to be stupid. If your so fired up to get rid of them because of your wife. I'd say stand up for yourself and tell her where to be, out of your buisness. Thats just my opinion and no insult meant of course. I'd rather be dead or alone then let someone else decide what I do with my time. I live my own life not someone elses view of what it should be. If thats not the case, then just don't worry about what I've said.

madd0ct0r
23-01-2009, 19:01
oh crumbs, marriage advice via a wargame forum.
actually, who better?


I've never played but I do enjoy building and collecting. It's not through lack of opportunity, I've just never got around to it.

Girlfriend doesn't understand it but she did buy me 500pts of Cryx. In a way I think she's slightly jealous that I've got something so unimportant i can take so seriously (the definition of a hobby)


Have you actually talked to her about it? Or is it something you've always done and feel a bit embarrassed about so put up with the occasional snide remark?

HsojVvad
23-01-2009, 19:12
Hi Triggerdog.

My suggestion would be your local library. Even in the Colonies they have some centres of civilisation, and a library may be willing to host a games club.

My wife is of a similar opinion to yours, from the sounds of it. However, when presented with the option of me gaming or going out and getting rat ar5ed, coming home and pi55ing up the hall before kicking her & sh4gging the dog (like _real_ men do), she wisely came to terms with my gaming.

Best of luck.

See I told you so. Someone actually speaking from experiance.

Glabro
23-01-2009, 19:28
Trust me, wives do a lot of stuff that's a waste of time but is socially accepted. Think about it the next time she watches some of that brainless TV and complains about your "childish" activity. It's the unusual hobbies that are a sticking point in peoples' minds.

Finally, relationships that DON'T involve complete trust and acceptance and allow breathing room for both partners rarely last.

SPYDER68
23-01-2009, 21:03
my g/f hates the games i play, i told her get over it, and going to keep playing how/when i want.

I also informed her when new guard come out, im dropping $200-$300 to finish my guard off with transports etc since ive been waiting awhile for new codex to know what i want.

new guard codex will be the time of rejoicing, watching movies, assembling and eating rotelle. Tis going to be a wonderful week.

AngryAngel
23-01-2009, 21:09
Whats what we like to hear Spyder. Keep up the good work the new guard stuff will be a time for much joy and celebration. From mostly everyone I'd imagine.

Triggerdog
23-01-2009, 22:04
I moved my stuff to a more dust free area today and made sure it was all effectively secure.

Putting the hobby on hold for a while.

starlight
23-01-2009, 22:08
Sounds like a plan. :) Unless you have some sort of dire need for cash, keep them aside for a bit, and keep looking for Opponents. :)

spaint2k
24-01-2009, 02:25
But I wouldn't leave the wife just to play some games. I can't get this out of my head.


It's not about the toy soldiers.

It's about WHY she feels the need to control his friendships, his hobbies and his free time.

Would YOU demand your wife not see her friends? Would you ridicule her hobbies and interests until she became a pale shadow of her former self, lurking in your communal home with nothing to do but act as your constant companion, simpering and accommodating your every whim for fear that you'd be displeased with her?

Of course not. It's completely pathological and trying to tell someone what he (or she) can or can't do is way out of line. Especially when it's something as harmless as playing a game of toy soldiers.

Steve

spaint2k
24-01-2009, 02:27
I moved my stuff to a more dust free area today and made sure it was all effectively secure.

Putting the hobby on hold for a while.

I'd move it somewhere where the wife can't trash/sell it all if she's pissed off at you one day.

Steve

madd0ct0r
24-01-2009, 02:45
Meh, I'd leave them on display. Quite a few of my friends got into the idea if not the hobby by playing with some i had out.

Triggerdog
24-01-2009, 04:13
I'd move it somewhere where the wife can't trash/sell it all if she's pissed off at you one day.

Steve

Its in the basement and the basement is my territory. While decorating and furnishing the house we divided it up. She got the first floor (living room, kitchen, dining room, small bathroom, and study), I got the basement, and we collaborated on the second floor (master bedroom, master bath, and guest room).


Meh, I'd leave them on display. Quite a few of my friends got into the idea if not the hobby by playing with some i had out.

I do not have friend that visit, let alone ones that would be allowed into my basement.

madd0ct0r
24-01-2009, 04:15
but the basement is our natural habitat!

Triggerdog
24-01-2009, 04:23
but the basement is our natural habitat!

My basement is full of guns, an industrial lathe, my tools, and my sewing equipment (Tailor by trade).

The 40k stuff moved from the shelf overlooking my work bench to a storage locker across the room that I was keeping some lubricant for the lathe in.

madd0ct0r
24-01-2009, 06:13
Like I said, Our natural habitat.

The deal is already made with my GF. Once we get a house, i get the basement/ shed for things of an industrial nature, and she gets an attic with skylights for things of a paintery nature.

Hellfury
24-01-2009, 11:28
I went through a rather large span of time with little to no wargaming whatsoever. I lived in montana for 8 years and it was hel trying to get games. I did occasionally play, but everything is always a bare minimum of a 2 hour road trip in montana, and usually quite a bit more.

I bidded my time and my interest by building armies/terrain/posting wargaming forums. The forums were the biggest help for me as it allowed me to stay in touch with likeminded individuals so that I could atleast stay in the loop during the dry periods.

If you are a very self motivated person, you can get a lot done while there is a lack of games to go around.

I also organized games to be played at the local library conference rooms. Use of the conference rooms is free to the public and usually have a lot of space with large tables, so go to the information counter and schedule a time you would like to use it. Flyers on their bulletins boards helped me gain a few contacts I would have not otherwise been able to get. Nerds like to read ya know.
Its kind of funny, but even in the most remote and rural area, there is always atleast one other person who atleast has an interest in playing if not have their own full blown obsession over wargaming, so keep in mind, you are rarely if ever truly alone.

HsojVvad
24-01-2009, 19:03
my g/f hates the games i play, i told her get over it, and going to keep playing how/when i want.

I also informed her when new guard come out, im dropping $200-$300 to finish my guard off with transports etc since ive been waiting awhile for new codex to know what i want.

new guard codex will be the time of rejoicing, watching movies, assembling and eating rotelle. Tis going to be a wonderful week.

Are you guys living together? Do you guys share paychecks or is your money yours, and hers hers? If you guys are not living together, then she can't say nothing about your dropping 300 bucks on what ever, but if living together, then it would wise to at least have her in your purchase, that is a big purchase. Would you be happy if she dropped 300 buck in make up or what not?


It's not about the toy soldiers.

It's about WHY she feels the need to control his friendships, his hobbies and his free time.

Would YOU demand your wife not see her friends? Would you ridicule her hobbies and interests until she became a pale shadow of her former self, lurking in your communal home with nothing to do but act as your constant companion, simpering and accommodating your every whim for fear that you'd be displeased with her?

Of course not. It's completely pathological and trying to tell someone what he (or she) can or can't do is way out of line. Especially when it's something as harmless as playing a game of toy soldiers.

Steve

yeah I know it's not about just Toy soldiers. It does sound something more than about Toy soldiers.


My basement is full of guns, an industrial lathe, my tools, and my sewing equipment (Tailor by trade).

The 40k stuff moved from the shelf overlooking my work bench to a storage locker across the room that I was keeping some lubricant for the lathe in.
Well I wish you luck in what ever you decide to do. I do hope you will get to enjoy your hobby once again.

ctsteel
24-01-2009, 19:44
Another source of keeping in touch and enjoying yourself might be if you have nearby relatives, whether young or adult, that might be interested in picking it up as a bit of fun, even if it was just once in a while. You could invest some time showing them the basics of the game (taking care of the more difficult rules for them while they learned), using your terrain/models, and enjoy both having a game using your armies, getting some satisfaction out of introducing someone else to the game, and also some enjoyable time with a relative.

I realise the GW/hobby stores are a fair way from you, but you could always plan a special road trip weekend up in their vicinity once in a blue moon, perhaps your wife could be convinced to go to that town for attending to some other interest of hers for a couple of hours? She does her thing, you do yours, then in the evening go for dinner or see an attraction in that area, this way you get to both enjoy your hobby from time to time, and you're still enjoying quality time with your wife (plus she'll have time during the day to do what she likes). Sell it as a win-win situation to her if need be.

precinctomega
24-01-2009, 19:59
Although I'm UK-based and I admit that we have a slight advantage, geographically, when it comes to finding other gamers, you might like to check out this blog:

http://wargamingclub.blogspot.com/

I started it three years ago when I first decided to start my own club. It's been up and down along the way and literally drove me to tears on at least one occasion, but we're still running despite everything and current projections show us breaking even in two months. Woo!

When it comes to wives, it can be hard. We're what the Japanese call "otaku". We make great partners: dedicated, sincere and loving (for the most part) but with the baggage of our "other" love. My own wife has tolerated - at first - and then supported my hobby, even though she hates anything "warlike" (bear in mind that I used to be in the Army) - she showed an interest in MtG but just couldn't handle the idea that the object of the game was to "hurt" me*.

For a long time, she struggled with the fact that she herself had no hobby: nothing to do with her time when I was painting my toy soldiers and going out, conquering worlds and crushing the forces of darkness beneath by trainers. Her post-natal depression didn't help the situation (see "driven to tears", above).

In the last few years, though, she's discovered passions of her own (other than me, obviously), and she had to consent, just today, when I pointed out that she had become a "property geek". Her hobby looks more grown up than mine, but it's really not all that different. I go with her to look at houses all over the country. She puts up with me going out Wednesday nights and to a couple of events a year. It could be worse: after all, as I point out to her, I don't expect her to come with me!

Having said all that, you know that the Significant Other is waaaay more important that the plastic soldiers, don't you? At the end of the day, perhaps she's just not in that place where she's ready to accept your hobby for the improving, balancing experience that it really is. If that's the case: sell the stuff! Scale back to just painting one model at a time. Build up your skills and sell off finished stuff on eBay so it doesn't clutter up the house. She'll appreciate the sacrifice and be more prepared to accept your down-sized hobby and, when she's ready for your to expand again, she'll let you know.

Stay cool.

R.

*Interestingly, she's quite fine with bankrupting me at Monopoly...

richter
25-01-2009, 03:11
This kind of situation is complicated...My former GF never approved the time or the money spent on minis, however since it was my time and my money (not ours), she really didin't had any real vote on the matter.

Now I see that there was a major flaw on the whole hobby concept on her side, she never had hobbies and refused to understand the point of it all...She used to call my classic car project (911 porsche) "fixing an old piece of junk", the list goes on and on.

I stood my ground, she stood hers and we negotiated...She would occasionaly bitch about hobbies until the end of our relationship, I ignored her bitching until the end of our relationship. In between we followed a schedule made on an 2-4 ratio (mini-time, car-time, Gf-time,Gf-time,Gf-time,Gf-time) and that kinda worked.

Bottom line, like many posters already adviced, try to negotiate. Explain the true reasons for your passion/hobby so that she can easly understand your motivation (for me, it brings me clearity of mind, some inner peace, helps me focus on bigger issues and relaxes me...Also making big bad termies with uber cannons of doom rocks :D ).

You'll have to make concessions (in time and/or budget), but she will have to give you some "mini-time" and hopefuly some peace on the matter with sort of a win-win result :)

On a brighter note, current GF and soon-to-be-wife kinda likes the whole mini thing, she's an architect and enjoys building terrain, small buildings and such. Still frowns on expensive mini purschases, because she keeps tabs on my "finished-unfinished" mini ratio :) Gotta paint hard to buy that land-raider!

Triggerdog
25-01-2009, 07:45
Thanks guys for the input but I guess I'm just not as devoted to the hobby as you are. Or more devoted to my wife than the 431st of Gehenna, Emperor's Watchdogs, and some unnamed Tau.

precinctomega
25-01-2009, 08:16
Good for you, Triggerdog.

R.

Triggerdog
25-01-2009, 09:08
Good for you, Triggerdog.

R.

Well I mean people keep telling me to go compromise or demand things and I just dont want to do that. I'd like to think of myself as at least something of a gentleman and that wouldnt be very courteous to just haul off and demand things. We're a quiet people and I generally try to be accomodating to others.

Considering that I currently lack a venue to routinely play in I am accepting of the concept of putting the hobby on hold for a time. Perhaps in a few months it will be time to reassess the situation.

precinctomega
25-01-2009, 12:14
Building up from scratch when you're already a veteran is a lot of fun, too. I've done it twice.

R.

WH40KAj
25-01-2009, 12:38
I'd say you need to discuss with your partner, not demand- then compromise. Once you've got the green light I suggest finding a venue to hire out and using that instead of your home. Then get the word out and see who comes along, who knows you may get more people than you expect....i'm sure theres lots of men in your area in your position :)

WH40KAj

Giganthrax
25-01-2009, 13:47
Well I mean people keep telling me to go compromise or demand things and I just dont want to do that. I'd like to think of myself as at least something of a gentleman and that wouldnt be very courteous to just haul off and demand things. We're a quiet people and I generally try to be accomodating to others.
If being a gentleman means relinquishing my hobbies, letting my wife have the house while I sit in the basement, having no friends of my own, having my wife pick friends for me, and technically being unwilling to stand up for myself and my interests... well, then I'm helluva glad I'm not a gentleman. :eyebrows:

Sorry if this sounds like an insult - it's not - but I just can't approve of your behavior. I have a friend in a similar situation like yours, and I keep telling him to snap out of it and fend for himself. Sad to see there are more people like that... :(

madd0ct0r
25-01-2009, 14:05
aw, that's a bit harsh.

He's clearly said he wants to avoid conflict. I didn't want to have that argument with my gal either. I just felt so silly feeling upset over not playing with little plastic toys.
So I sulked for a month until it burst out. She was surprised but hasn't made a single joke about it since. Since I'm no longer on the defensive, I can joke about it and sometimes try and explain the hobby.
She hadn't realised the dice led to complex statistics and tactial choices.
She assumed it was pew pew and ka-boom noises. It's not (but that bit is fun) ;-)

richter
25-01-2009, 14:11
If being a gentleman means relinquishing my hobbies, letting my wife have the house while I sit in the basement, having no friends of my own, having my wife pick friends for me, and technically being unwilling to stand up for myself and my interests... well, then I'm helluva glad I'm not a gentleman. :eyebrows:

Sorry if this sounds like an insult - it's not - but I just can't approve of your behavior. I have a friend in a similar situation like yours, and I keep telling him to snap out of it and fend for himself. Sad to see there are more people like that... :(

You read my mind. I consider myself a gentleman, but one must draw the line in some point. For the sake of both individuals in the relationship, there are some aspects that must be respected on both ends.

I'm sure that your wife must have some hobby/occupation or even guilty pleasure that you don't completly approve/ like, but you won't interfer on it because you know it makes her a bit happier and it's a harmless thing right?

Well, that kind of mutual respect and understanding goes both ways, and in on my opinion kinda helps to create a more healthy and harmonious relationship ;)

HsojVvad
25-01-2009, 15:17
On a brighter note, current GF and soon-to-be-wife kinda likes the whole mini thing, she's an architect and enjoys building terrain, small buildings and such. Still frowns on expensive mini purschases, because she keeps tabs on my "finished-unfinished" mini ratio :) Gotta paint hard to buy that land-raider!
LOL I know what you mean. I wanted to get the Blackreach box set, but I couldn't because my wife said no. She said no because I have so many unpainted and built mini's that I don't need any more. She has a point though so had to agree with her.


Well I mean people keep telling me to go compromise or demand things and I just dont want to do that. I'd like to think of myself as at least something of a gentleman and that wouldnt be very courteous to just haul off and demand things. We're a quiet people and I generally try to be accomodating to others.

Considering that I currently lack a venue to routinely play in I am accepting of the concept of putting the hobby on hold for a time. Perhaps in a few months it will be time to reassess the situation.

I don't think we are telling you what to do, but giving you suggestions. I believe it's time for you to give you hobby a hiatus for a bit. Only you know your situation with you wife and how it can really be delt with.

We are not saying to leave your wife so you can just play 40K. We are trying to give you suggestions for a comprimise or how you can enjoy your hobby still. We love our hobby and would hate to see anyone miss it, since we still think you love it as well.

One problem we are having, or at least me, I should say, is I find it hard for anyone not to be at least accepting of this hobby. For someone to make you quit because they don't want it around is unthinkable to me. It's not like you have it out in the open, all over the place. I even get yelled at when I do that.

As I said before, you give up this hobby, what are you going to do with your time instead? Drink? Take drugs to pass the time? I don't if you are just a gamer, ora painter and moddler as well. Remember this hobby is just not playing, it's also painting and converting and putting models together as well.

I don't play as much as I would love to, hell I hardly play at all and I have a way better chance at gaming than you, but I am still painting and modeling because it's what I enjoy. (mind you I gave up GW for different reasons than you, but I am glad I did. When I took a break I see I still love the hobby.

I believe you need to take a break, just to see if you miss it. If you don't miss it, then you don't have to worry about it anymore. But if you do miss it, I am telling you know, you will have resentment toward your wife, and I don't want to see that happen to you.

Yes you can be a gentleman now, but in the future, resentment can build up and you will not even see it. What we are trying to say, is we don't want to see you have any regrets because you were forced, (and yes from what you type, it seems you are being forced in a small way) to quit something you like.

Just take a break and if you do miss it, please sit down with your wife and talk to her about it, nicely and politely.

You wouldn't have so many posts if we didn't care. I believe we are a small family here on Warseer and we care so are just trying to help you out.

If you think we are attacking you, we are not, we just care and trying to help.

Good luck in what ever you choose to do. If you need help in how to talk to her, let us know, we can help.

Put to keep this on topic, have you tried placing an add in your local paper just to see if there are any other gamers out there? You don't even need to put your name in it. Make it like,

40K gamer here in Out of Nowhere, any other 40K gamers here? Would you like to chat or play please contact box 12345. Or something like that, this way at least your really tried, and you still are anonimus.

Lord Inquisitor
25-01-2009, 17:19
Well I mean people keep telling me to go compromise or demand things and I just dont want to do that. I'd like to think of myself as at least something of a gentleman and that wouldnt be very courteous to just haul off and demand things. We're a quiet people and I generally try to be accomodating to others.
Heh, you DID post on a messageboard for advice. It occurred to me that if your wife posted on any other forum she'd probably get advice like "make him grow up and put aside childish things" or "make him choose between his toys and you!". :D

Taking a break is probably a good idea. You can find other things to occupy your time. After a while you'll either realise you don't need it at all or you'll come back to it renewed. My main advice is don't sell your favourite army. Put it in storage if you have to, but if you sell it you'll probably regret it.

That said, don't disregard altogether the advice here. If you love 40K - and you probably wouldn't be posting here if you didn't - and even if you can't really play right now, it's still something that is important to you, so all this marital advice might be worth bearing in mind. For my part I had almost the reverse problem - my wife was okay with me painting in the house, but didn't like me going out to game. Eventually this "clinginess" lead to serious problems. Of course breaking up because I can't go out to game occasionally would be silly - but it was symptomatic of far more serious problems. We worked through it and now I generally get out once a week to game. :D Ultimately, having a chat with your wife about these things is always the best idea, even if you are putting them away for a while.

Heh. Far more common for martial advice than marital on this forum!

AngryAngel
25-01-2009, 17:54
Most people are thinking wisely on here. Alot of good opinions and advice I feel has been given out. Much like I'd expect from own friends.

However, being a gentleman doesn't mean just agreeing with everything, or being a doormat. If this guy. no offense in this of course, is willing to let his wife pick out his friends and tell him what is or isn't good for him to do. What hope is there he'll stand up for a hobby ? He's got our advice but at the end of the day I doubt it'll make a diffrence.

Though I am glad to see so many reasonable views of the situation on here.

Sidstyler
26-01-2009, 02:13
Personally, I know some guys don't like making "demands" (or maybe just Trigger :p), but that's basically what they're doing if they try to make you quit. And not just this hobby, ANY hobby. You're not being an ******* by insisting on having your own personal space, that's completely normal and in my opinion EVERYONE is entitled to me-time. She doesn't have to like it, it really doesn't matter, that's her problem. She needs to live with it or pack her bags in my opinion.

And I know what people are thinking, that's loser-ish. That's pathetic. What's pathetic in my opinion is bending over and being, basically, pussy-whipped into doing whatever she wants you to do. "Oh, I don't like hobbies, they're pointless, you can't have one." No, that's ********. Stop being the nice guy and put your foot down, like I said we all need to do our own thing now and then, you really can't dedicate your entire life to one freaking person and be with them every waking moment at their beck and call. That's not to say that I'd lock myself in the bedroom and paint all day (I need to do that one of these days though, my one painted figure is getting lonely), I'll go out and do all the normal things couples do, but I still want hobby time now and then. I want to buy models now and then, I want to do something to the car, you know, stuff like that. If she seriously wants me to spend everything on her, do everything she wants to do all the time...no, I can't live like that.

I'd really rather be single. It isn't worth it. Yeah, you can brag to all your friends "Well I got a girl and you don't", but they're all pointing and laughing at you because she's got you on a short leash and treats you like a dog.


I haven't read the whole thread, so if I missed something then...sorry. :P I just saw people talking about women and hobbies and I felt like opening my mouth.



"make him choose between his toys and you!"

Oh my god, that is so...wow. No.

I really, really hate some women. If you're a girl and you're reading this (and I know some people will label me a chauvinist for it), but you are NOT special. You can be replaced, easily. There is never just one woman out there for anyone, if YOU'RE the one who refuses to grow up and get out of high school (as hypocritical as that sounds...), if you refuse to realize that you are NOT EVER the most important thing in a man's life, you'll find yourself suddenly without one. Not to say you'll be alone forever, you'll probably find someone eventually, but I refuse to recognize that thing as a man because it obviously has no backbone or is into some kind of strange mistress/slave fetish and wears a collar you gave him all the time. Which is just fine, I don't discriminate, but don't expect to impose your will on everyone or you'll get kicked in the ass.

And this isn't just about miniatures, I can't stress that enough. It's just the idea that a woman thinks she has that kind of power over you that really sets me off.

Giganthrax
26-01-2009, 04:35
Personally, I know some guys don't like making "demands" (or maybe just Trigger :p), but that's basically what they're doing if they try to make you quit. And not just this hobby, ANY hobby. You're not being an ******* by insisting on having your own personal space, that's completely normal and in my opinion EVERYONE is entitled to me-time. She doesn't have to like it, it really doesn't matter, that's her problem. She needs to live with it or pack her bags in my opinion.

And I know what people are thinking, that's loser-ish. That's pathetic. What's pathetic in my opinion is bending over and being, basically, pussy-whipped into doing whatever she wants you to do. "Oh, I don't like hobbies, they're pointless, you can't have one." No, that's ********. Stop being the nice guy and put your foot down, like I said we all need to do our own thing now and then, you really can't dedicate your entire life to one freaking person and be with them every waking moment at their beck and call. That's not to say that I'd lock myself in the bedroom and paint all day (I need to do that one of these days though, my one painted figure is getting lonely), I'll go out and do all the normal things couples do, but I still want hobby time now and then. I want to buy models now and then, I want to do something to the car, you know, stuff like that. If she seriously wants me to spend everything on her, do everything she wants to do all the time...no, I can't live like that.

I'd really rather be single. It isn't worth it. Yeah, you can brag to all your friends "Well I got a girl and you don't", but they're all pointing and laughing at you because she's got you on a short leash and treats you like a dog.


I haven't read the whole thread, so if I missed something then...sorry. :P I just saw people talking about women and hobbies and I felt like opening my mouth.




Oh my god, that is so...wow. No.

I really, really hate some women. If you're a girl and you're reading this (and I know some people will label me a chauvinist for it), but you are NOT special. You can be replaced, easily. There is never just one woman out there for anyone, if YOU'RE the one who refuses to grow up and get out of high school (as hypocritical as that sounds...), if you refuse to realize that you are NOT EVER the most important thing in a man's life, you'll find yourself suddenly without one. Not to say you'll be alone forever, you'll probably find someone eventually, but I refuse to recognize that thing as a man because it obviously has no backbone or is into some kind of strange mistress/slave fetish and wears a collar you gave him all the time. Which is just fine, I don't discriminate, but don't expect to impose your will on everyone or you'll get kicked in the ass.

And this isn't just about miniatures, I can't stress that enough. It's just the idea that a woman thinks she has that kind of power over you that really sets me off.
Holy boltgun, Sid! You're vicious! :D

Seriously though, I agree with you 100%. Just had to say it.

Triggerdog
26-01-2009, 04:44
Thanks for all the input, very helpful.

So my course of action will be take a break and see if I miss the hobby. I'll see how that goes and then determine if we need to sit down and have a chat.

richter
26-01-2009, 09:19
Hope it all works out for you ;)

Pink Horror
26-01-2009, 12:29
I'd rather dump my money on games than on wine like those "mature" guys. The games do not get consumed, and they are cheaper. I also want something that I can share with my children. My girlfriend has seen the miniatures. Well, she likes to do her own paintings, and I think she has me pegged as fatherhood material, so I believe the hobby is an advantage in my relationship!

In a world with all of these electronic time-wasters, some women will realize that, if you are one of the tabletop gamers out there who bathe regularly and talk like adults, your hobby deserves some respect. I know a guy who went to a girl's house for nothing, because she realized she had a WOW raid going on! That is pathetic. People who do not have "hobbies" have vices instead. I think I watch one hour of television a week, on average. I try to participate in my own entertainment. Find someone who does not do anything creative, and you've found yourself a zombie.

HsojVvad
26-01-2009, 13:30
Best of luck Triggerdog. Let us know how it goes.

NealSmith
26-01-2009, 15:37
Haven't read the whole thread, but how about using the "Store Finder"? It lists GW stores and local shops that stock stuff. A little easier then trying to find a WD if you are currently without a store...

http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/storelocator/search.jsp

AfroCelt
26-01-2009, 16:32
I'd rather dump my money on games than on wine like those "mature" guys.

Or you can be like me...buy sub-20 dollar bottles (fantastic stuff...you can only tell if you're a fellow wine-snob) and enjoy them with the minis!

Just don't mix painting and drinking...some of my orks ended up bright slaneesh pink.

Ork
26-01-2009, 17:06
Not to be to OT, but I feel sorry for all those guys who wives/gf's dont approve. I'm in college right now mind you, but my girlfriend thinks it's really cool. She's not personally interested, but she likes that I have a hobby and paint and stuff like that. In fact she prefers it my other hobbies (weed is decriminalized here ;) ).

I can see how a SO (significant other) would want somebody to do other things, but every man needs time to do what he wants. I can only think of one think cheaper than warhammer (WoW) that I like to do. Anything else is prohibitively expensive. Next time your SO complains about warhammer, suggest something else to do instead. How about hobbys that more expensive and time consuming? Honestly:
+ Golfing
+ Scuba Diving
+ Restoring Cars
+ Drinking (Speaking from my perspective. I could easily blow 50 a week drinking. I don't spend that much on warhammer.)
+ Traveling

You can really be set with a few hundred dollars. It's going be over 2000 dollars to build my car engine. That's more than I think I have spent on warhammer over the last 9 years.

Laser guided fanatic
26-01-2009, 17:53
I don't think people's GF/Wives are objecting because of the money more because of the nerdy stereotype that attaches itself to 40k.

Chem-Dog
26-01-2009, 18:21
I'd approach it from a different direction: have you considered setting up your own club? My gaming club was set up my a local GP and fluxuated between 5-40 people but there was always someone to play. We rented an old sports hall and stored the tables in the attic. Sure it was only one day a week but it was something at least.

This is what I did with a group of friends, it's amazing ho many people who have an interest appear out of the woodwork once you have a regular venue, it's also amazing how far people will travel to attend such a venue. Once a week is more than enough in my opinion and even then very few of our members will be able to make it EVERY week, Work and Family commitments still come first.


I don't think people's GF/Wives are objecting because of the money more because of the nerdy stereotype that attaches itself to 40k.

I doubt this is an issue at all.

Pink Horror
26-01-2009, 23:06
If she is worried about dating a nerd, she is probably still in high school. There are laws I have to abide by!