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khedyarl
29-01-2009, 22:47
SCENARIO GUBBINZ

The first White Dwarf I had ever picked up remains my favorite even to this day. Not only did it contain a Battle Report for GorkaMorka involving Diggas and Muties {I know, the excitement still grips me}, and one of the last installments for the Tale of Four Gamers series, but it featured a Warhammer 40,000 Battle Report of such ingenuity and creativity, that I was officially hooked - White Dwarf became a monthly guilty pleasure for me.
The Battle Report was between Paul Sawyer {of Fat Bloke fame}, and Adrian Smith {the Ork man commeth}, and was narrated by Jervis Johnson {two paragraphs in and I'm out of witticisms already}. It was a Second Edition battle, using an Imperial Guard Praetorian Platoon, a few random Necromunda miniatures as menials, and an enormous Ork horde. Goals? The Praetorians must survive a number of games chosen by the Ork player, against all odds. The Orks, in turn, must slaughter every single Praetorian down to the last tea-sipping gentleman.
The games themselves were loosely based upon the historical events at Rourkes Bluff, though, it seemed to have been themed a bit more on the war classic, 'Zulu' Somehow, the idea of a last stand stuck with me, and ever since I've been trying to find a way to replicate this fascination. Recently this idea was revisited by my local gaming group, and the following is the result. Although it differs significantly from the original, I like to think that it still carries the foreboding doom of the 'Last Stand at Glazer's Creek'.
The following rules have been adapted from the original report to fit better with the current Codices, and rules. They explain force selection, terrain setup, and rules of play. The Ork army is relatively flexible, and should be simple for any Ork player to field, while the Imperial Guard player has much less flexibility. These were the miniatures that suited our collections, please feel free to modify either list as you feel fit.


KILL 'EM ALL BOYZ {OBJECTIVES OF COMBAT}

Both players hold very simple objectives. The Ork player is given a variable number of games to annihilate the Imperial Guard player to the man. The Imperial player must simply bide his time and survive until the end of the final assault. Specifically, if there are any miniatures controlled by the Imperial side still on table at the end of the final assault, the Imperial player wins. If there are no miniatures controlled by the Imperial side remaining on table at the end of any given assault, the Ork player wins.


I CAME HERE TO BUILD A BRIDGE {TERRAIN PLACEMENT}

The game is played on a 4x4 foot playing area, and the Imperial player sets up all terrain prior to deployment. He must set up the farm, and the playing area surrounding it. The farm must include at least one building, but aside from this restriction, there may be any number of walls, buildings, buckets, farm equipment and et cetera. Feel free to set up as defensive a position as possible, you'll need it.
In this scenario, no Ork miniatures {With the exception of non-walker vehicles} are restricted by impassable terrain. They simply treat it as difficult terrain, and roll 2d6 and pick the highest dice roll to find how far they may move. This is to halt any unscrupulous defenders from surrounding the farm in impassable terrain, and makes it a bit more sporting.


THERE'S TOO MANY OF THEM! {THE ASSAULTS}

Rather than a single game, this scenario is a series of assaults. Each assault represents one wave of the Orkish horde crashing against the farm. The Orkish player randomly determines his force for each game, while the Imperial player must make due with what survived the previous assaults.
Before the game begins, the Ork player must secretly write down how many assaults he plans to make; he may choose between three and five assaults. Choosing five assaults will mean that the ork player has longer to grind down the Imperial player, but he will have no reinforcements for the final push.
Assaults Extra 'Da Boyz' Rolls
3 +4
4 +2
5 +0


ORKS, SIR. THOUSANDS OF ‘EM! {ORK FORCE SELECTION}

The Ork player randomly determines his forces by rolling two times for Shiny Bitz, and six times for Da Boyz on the chart below. The table has been deliberately set up so that very little massed firepower is available to the Ork player, in order to allow the Imperial player to avoid the indignity of simply being gunned down where they sit, and to encourage the Ork player to actually capture the farm. Each assault is led by a Warboss equipped with any wargear displayed on the miniature.
d6 Shiny Bitz Da Boyz

1 'Ard Stuff Weels n' Trakks
2 'Ard Stuff Boyz
3 Nobz Boyz
4 Nobz Boyz
5 Nobz Boyz
6 Nobz Fast Boyz


'Ard Stuff: One Deff Dred, two Killa Kanz, or three Mega-Armoured Nobz. These miniatures are armed with whatever weapons actually appear on the model. You may only take one of each per assault - One Dread, Kan, or Nob mob.

Nobz: Two Nobz, or a single Big Mek, armed with whatever equipment appears on the miniature. Nobz must lead units of Boyz. Only one Big Mek may be included per assault.

Weels n' Trakks: A single Warbuggy or Wartrakk, armed with whatever weapons appear on the miniature.

Boyz: A single mob of ten Boyz, all armed identically with whatever appears on the miniatures, or a single mob of twenty Grotz, with two Slavers.

Fast Boyz: A single Bike Mob of four Warbikes, or a single mob of ten Stormboyz, or a single mob of six Boyz with a Wartrukk.


SAY SIR, OFFICER ON PARADE {DEPLOYMENT}

The Imperial player sets up his entire force anywhere on the playing area that is at least twelve inches away from the board edge. All wounded models must set up inside the building that has been designated as the hospital {See the rules for wounded models below.}
After the Imperial player has set up, the Ork player must number each board edge from one to four. He then chooses two adjacent edges and numbers them five and six. The Ork players forces will enter play on his first turn, and each unit must roll a d6 to find out which table edge they will arrive from. As the Ork player may choose additional numbers for two edges, he may lay the odds in his favour that the majority of his forces will show up there. The Ork player may repick where the five and six is at the beginning of each new assault.


TIME FOR FIGHTIN'! {THE ASSAULTS}

Once the Imperial player has set up, and the board edges have been numbered, both players are ready to play out the assault. The Ork player gets the first turn in each assault, rolls for each unit at the beginning of his first turn to see where his forces arrive. His army move on from the table edges rolled, and acts as normal. The assault continues untill there are no more Imperial miniatures on the table, in which case the Ork player wins the game, or until the Ork player's forces have been reduced to thirty unit strength or less. Buggies, Trakks, and Trukk's each count as five unit strength.
Please note that the Imperial player's forces count as Fearless for every assault, as they desperately fight for their lives against all odds.
If the Ork forces are reduced to thirty or less Unit strength, the assault immediately ends in an ork defeat. If this was the final Assault, then the Imperial player wins the game. If it was not, then the Imperial forces must tend to their wounded and await the next assault.


WAAAAGH! {FINAL ASSAULT}

At the beginning of the third Ork turn during the final Assault, the Ork player must reference the Final Assault table to see how many additional reinforcements he received. These miniatures enter a random table edge, and count towards the total unit strength of the Ork army.


HITCH, YOU’RE NOT DEAD, I SAW YOU {HOSPITALS, WOUNDED, AND DESTROYED VEHICLES}

Imperial miniatures 'killed' during any given assault are placed to one side until the assault has finished. If the Orks are defeated in that assault, then roll for each miniature on the table below.
Dead miniatures may not be used in any further assaults. Miniatures with the 'I think it's serious, sir' result must be placed inside the building designated as the hospital, but may roll again at the beginning of the next assault.

D6 RESULT

1-2 Dead - We can bury them after we're finished here.
3-4 I think it's serious, sir - To the hospital with you, make it quick.
5-6 I'm fine, I'm fine - Get back in rank, you 'orrible little man!

The Imperial player must choose one building at the beginning of the game to designate as the Hospital. Seriously wounded miniatures are placed in here during each assault, and may recover as described above.
As this is a battle to the very end, even those wounded soldiers will attempt to help when things get bad. If an Ork miniature moves within four inches of the hospital, any miniatures inside the hospital may get back up and try to fight! Roll a d6 for each miniature inside the Hospital; On the roll of a 4+, the model crawls out of bed and fights. Add +1 to the dice roll during the final assault. Wounded miniatures have a single wound, and the Imperial player may place them anywhere in contact with the Hospital.
At the end of an assault, any miniatures that got up from inside the hospital must roll again on the injury table to see if their exhertions have caused a relapse.

Vehicles destroyed in any assault are left on the table as terrain. Immobilised vehicles are left in play as well, and count as destroyed in any future assaults.


I WOULD LIKE TO LIVE FOREVER, SIR {IMPERIAL ROSTER}

Unlike the Ork army, the Imperial list is relatively specific in requirement. I have left weapon options for each squad open-ended to allow the Imperial player to field it using his own regiment.

One Imperial Guard Platoon.

One Command Squad - Led by a Senior Officer, and armed with any equipment showing on the miniatures.
Three Infantry Squads - Armed with any equipment showing on the miniatures.
One remnant Squad - Six Guardsmen armed with any equipment showing on the miniatures.

Three Heavy Weapon Teams - Armed with any equipment showing on the miniatures.

One Sanctioned Psyker, One Commissar, One Allied Inquisitor {No henchmen} - Armed with any equipment showing on the miniatures. One miniature may be given the Honorifica Imperialis.

One Chimera – vehicle is armed and has any wargear that is on the miniature.

Dangersaurus
29-01-2009, 23:30
I love it. Which White Dwarf was this in? I'd like to try it in 2nd edition as well...

khedyarl
29-01-2009, 23:44
White Dwarf 222 is the one with the original Battle Report.

the1stpip
30-01-2009, 06:25
I will have to try it out. IOt is my all time favourite Battle Report.

Dangersaurus
06-04-2009, 18:29
Okay, I've picked up the issue. We're midway through the Rynn's World campaign right now, but between the article and your notes for using it in 5th we'll probably give it a try sometime this summer. Thanks a bunch again.

Dangersaurus
29-07-2009, 18:15
More necromancy. After my most recent dive into a "back-issue bin" I've found that this scenario was updated in Citadel Journal 48. Not much changed, just small updates to bring it into line with 3rd edition and their then-current marketing (Mordians vs. Orks on Armageddon).

Badger[Fr]
29-07-2009, 21:32
It brings back fond memories... But you forgot the lone Ratling Sniper. What a shame! :mad:

Inquis. Jaeger
30-07-2009, 14:44
To the OP - for someone who loves the battle report in question, it's somewhat embarrassing that you got the name of Adi 'Grand Warlord' Wood and the name of the location of the battle - Rorke's Drift - wrong.

Hooky! That's a flogging offence!