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Jimbobjeff
03-12-2005, 09:28
I've recently started a marine army called the white paladins(nothing to do with the black templars honest). Basically my fluff so far is this:

around 3 centuries ago, the then chapter master, Arkhan the loyal opened a strange casket his librarians had unearthed on the desert world of Arkaniul (for they had named it after him). Almost simultaneously a huge cataclysm would engulf the chapter, The battle barge unrepenting fury, which had been acting as the base of operations for the white paladins after their first fortress monestary was destroyed by orks in m.39,exploded in a huge fireball taking two of its escorting strike crusers with it. In many other warzones other disasters struck marines just keeled over where they fought. all in all the chapter lost fully half its battle brothers in this way. Arkhan was never heard of again and nor were any of his exploratory team. However some good did come of this: with the exception of the marines abord the fury most of the equippment of the other marines was in perfect working order and therefore the chapter is better equipped than most.

Following this the chapter claimed Arkanuil for there own, the techmarines reasoning that if it haboured a weapon capable of destroying a battle barge in a single shot then they should find it and use it to defend the imperium, or at the very least ensure that no-one else would stumble upon and accidentaly activate the device.

The chapter built their fortress monestary in orbit around Arkanuil using mainly the debris from the unrepenting fury, this huge structure bristles with weapons emplacements and has, in places, armour 10meters thick. To further protect the world the marines destroyed two nearby moons and spread the large pieces of rock in low orbit around the planet in order to discourage landers. As of yet the White paladins haven't discovered the weapon that they so desire but htey have found out a lot about the surface of the planet from above Arkanuil looks like a barren ball of dead rock and sand about twice the size of terra but beneath its shifting sands are ancient gothic cities from the dark age of technology, though largely uninhabited these cities do harbour some small feral tribes that are possibly decended from the origional colonists and who worship these cities as sacred places to the ones they call the precursors. Thanks to there harsh home world these tribesmenmake for excelllent marine recruits and the White paladins have inducted many new brethren over the last century or so.

What do you think? all comments welcome.:D

Hideous Loon
03-12-2005, 15:59
The battle barge unrepenting fury...exploded in a huge fireball taking two of its escorting strike crusers with it.
Have you read IrregularWebcomic (http://www.irregularwebcomic.net)? If not, I can inform you that a Death in that comic has a preferration (preferability? anyway, he prefers it) for Insanely Overpowered Fireballs, and I wouldn't be surprised if he was there to collect the souls of the Imperials who died. Anyway, onto the comments:

Arkhan the Loyal sounds a lot like Arkhan the Black (big Undead fella in WHFB), and if I'm not mistaken he also had a mystic casket. I like the plot hook you included. But your concept is not an original one (having-your-base-of-operations-blasted-and-being-forced-to-struggle-for-survival has been done a gazillion times before), however this does not mean that I hate your Chapter concept, it only means that it's been done. You, however, doesn't take the Chapter onto a 10,000-year-long Crusade for them to repent their sins (yada), but you make them rebuild the fortress-monastery. I bow to you (I was lazy and took an existing Chapter).

+++Edited for spelling. Have a nice day...+++

Jimbobjeff
04-12-2005, 09:08
Thanks for the comment!

Hideous Loon
04-12-2005, 18:25
You're welcome. And HAVE you read IrregularWebcomic? It's pretty darn good, if ya ask me.

Jimbobjeff
05-12-2005, 14:31
Ive not read it no, in fact I hadnt even heard of it until you mentioned it...