View Full Version : Story of a Callidus

S.T.A.R.S. Myn
16-12-2005, 18:20
She sprinted down the hallway, devoid of any thought but those of her missions. The candles lent little illumination in the dark stone hall, but it had little effect on her keen eyes. Approaching the doors to the security check-point she saw the two heretic gaurdsmen standing before her, weapons still slung around their backs. Leaping gracefull off the floor and touching against the wall she brought out her C'Tan phase sword out and touched off the wall in one swift motion. Such was her speed that the guardsmen were slow bringing their lasguns to bear. The nearsest guard had flicked off the safety on his rifle has she swung the ancient sword throught his head, taking it clean off. Landing softly on the ground and drawing the nearul shredder she made short work of the second guard; now fumbling for the trigger. Realizing there would be no time to properly dispose of the bodies she continued on into the next room. Upon entering the room she allowed herself enought time to look around and plan her next move. Suddenly she became aware of the guardmen piling into the area ahead of her, flipping over tables to use as shields while more still hid behind pillars. She suddenly realized the holocams had captured her killing of the previous guards. A minor nuisance. Leaping forward through the hail of lasgun fire she blasted a hole through the nearest two gaurds with the shredder, upon landing she narrowly dodged another lasgun blast while a piece of the marble pillar exploded in a rain of shards behind her. Jumping up she touched off the wall and flipped in mid-air, raining death upon the guards behind the table. Landing on the ground near a gaurdsmen busy reloading his lasgun, she brought out the phase sword and stuck the sword between his 4th and 5th ribs, a precise blow into his heart. An instant later she whipped the sword - now glowing red with the blood of the previous guardsman - she through it behind her, and watched with satisfaction as it landed squarly between the man's eyes. Walking delicatly over to him she removed the sword from his skull and wiped it on his trousers. Stepping back into the centre of the room she bent over and quickly took a sample of his blood using one of the many tools built into her gauntlet. A few minutes later she had taken on his appearance and clothes and proceeded into the next chamber, where her final victim lay waiting. Stepping into the room she looked up to see her target sitting high in his throne.
"What is it that you want soldier?" bellowed the Governor's voice.
The assassin gave him the only answer she could; cutting the supply of polymorphine into her blood system she stepped forward raising the neural shredder for the final time tonight. A look of terror came across the man's face as she took careful aim.

"Who are you!? Why are you doing this to me?!" implored the doomed man.
She could have said many things, but felt that it was only fair to give this man his final request. Before pulling the trigger she looked up into his eyes and answered...

Hideous Loon
16-12-2005, 21:39
I have this feeling of Matrix-ness as I read this (the theme running through my head, the acrobatness, the general feeling of superiority and so forth). Some typoes, but no biggie. Also, I thought that the Phase Sword was fixed to the wrist of the Callidus, and not something that she held in her hand. Therefore, it should be impossible to throw it across the room. If she's so desperate to cast stuff around her, why not use some poisonous dart or somesuch, and not the most preciousss thing she has?

S.T.A.R.S. Myn
17-12-2005, 02:15
It's my first time writing something like this, i would have done it a lot better but i was writing at school at lunch, bell rang so i hurried it a bit. But otherwise what do you guys think?

Striking Dragon
17-12-2005, 06:39
Good for a first try. Couple o' things:

Paragraphs, the single block of text is really hard on the eyes. If you're rushed, save it to notepad and finish it later. Proofread.

C'tan phase weapons are completely energy based, blood will not stay on them; they disappear and rematerialize in an instant during the killing blow, this is how they avoid having to penetrate energy fields. Neural shredders attack the mind of the opponent, they don't leave holes.

An Imperial governor for practice? I hope she was just messing with his mind (no pun intended)!