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Lyinar
22-01-2010, 14:58
For a while now, I've been summing up the Orks to non-wargamers, or beginners in the game, using, of all things, the Tankhammer.

"They're big, green, Cockney football hooligans, and it pretty much says all you need to know about both their psychology and their physiology that, A: They think bolting an anti-tank rocket onto a stick and banging on a tank with it is a good idea, and B: enough of them have survived doing so that they haven't revised that opinion."

Anyone got examples for other armies?

WinglessVT2
22-01-2010, 15:18
Tau are communists in mechasuits. They have superior firepower, and blue skin.

Corrode
22-01-2010, 15:22
Tau are communists in mechasuits. They have superior firepower, and blue skin.

I'd go with 'Tau are commonly misconstrued as Communists but are in fact fascist space-cows, with mechasuits, an inferiority complex leading to huge guns with which they 'rail' their enemies, and cool floaty tanks.'

Space Marines are pretty much 'roid-raging larger-than-life psychopaths wearing tanks, with grenade launchers and massive chainsaw-swords.'

WinglessVT2
22-01-2010, 15:29
People agree with the communist approach, sadly.

When I describe marines, I say 'seven foot tall knights in space, that chant hymns of death, while they cut you in half with chainsaw swords.'

Max1mum
22-01-2010, 15:33
I like the way how you describe orks. I'm not sure if somebody who would qualify als a 'cockney' likes it how ever. ( what the hell kind of person does qualify to be a cockney...what does cockney mean ?! ?! ;-) )

Anyway, i'm a imperial guard player. And if would describe them i would say that they are nothing special in a world where everything is special and deadly. The only reason why everything that is special and deadly is mortaly afraid of my down dirty diehards. Is that my army outnumbers them 10 to 1. And when i don't outnumber them 10 to 1 i can form a wall steal to simply just run them down with tanks.

Lostanddamned
22-01-2010, 15:36
what the hell kind of person does qualify to be a cockney...

Born within earshot of the bow bells.

Bunnahabhain
22-01-2010, 15:38
The Guard are the non lead actors in any humans vs aliens film: Completely expendable, and many are likely to die a messy death as everything else is bigger, faster, tougher and nastier than them.

In true movie form, most of the army has been to the storm trooper shooting school, so they could hit anything, and the average guys rifle is unlikely to more than tickle the target.

But the big guns and tanks are very big and come in sufficient numbers to make quite a mess of the enemy, and quite a bit of the landscape. These guys are not peacekeepers, they kill them all, and don't bother with the questions afterwards.

Quieo
22-01-2010, 16:10
I reckon that orks being cockney hooligans is exactly right. probably Milwall supporters. (Although I am not sure if Milwall is in the east end.)

All the armys in 40k are pretty high concept (i.e. they can be summed up in a sentence or two) e.g. Necrons - Undead Robots

Keeperofthepies
22-01-2010, 16:46
I relate the armies to factions/characters in other franchises. Space Marines = Star Craft marines, Tyranid = Zerg, Imperial Guard = Starship Troopers (or any other futuristic human army, you could actually do a very awesome Storm Trooper army with AT-STs), Tau = Gundam/Robotech, Necrons = Terminators, etc.

AndrewGPaul
22-01-2010, 16:49
Most of those comparisons are at least as obscure as 40K, sadly. :)

Gen.Steiner
22-01-2010, 16:58
I don't. "It's toy soldiers, a bit sad really, but it's cheaper than crack!" is about as far as I go to people who aren't genuinely interested.

If they press for more, well... depends on the person and what army we're on about.

sycopat
22-01-2010, 17:19
The Guard are the non lead actors in any humans vs aliens film: Completely expendable, and many are likely to die a messy death as everything else is bigger, faster, tougher and nastier than them.



The Imperial Guard are the Ankh Morpork City Watch?


In fairness unless I already know the person as a bit of a geek/nerd I just leave it as toy soldiers.

Sternguard777
22-01-2010, 17:51
I think I've tried describing the game and fluff a few times ...lets see I belive I described Chaos as a magical little monster that grants you a wish if you let him eat you toes, one wish per toe. (and you can't wish for them back:skull:)

Balragore
22-01-2010, 18:00
The Imperial Guard are the Ankh Morpork City Watch?


You good sir, have just made my day... Absolutely LOVE Terry Pratchett.

Now if only I could figure out why "I" haven't come to the same analogy before...

Pug Life
22-01-2010, 18:48
probably Milwall supporters.

Up the Palace!

Dr Cuddles
22-01-2010, 18:59
Eldar: Elves in Space
Dark Eldar: Evil Elves in space
Orks: Orcs in space.
Tau: Mecha Communists in space
Marines:Superhuman Knights in space
IG:Humans in space
Tyranids: Aliens in space
Chaos Marines: Superhuman Evil knights in space
Necrons: Undead robots... in space.

MacVurrich
22-01-2010, 19:11
..."They're big, green, Cockney football hooligans, and it pretty much says all you need to know about both their psychology and their physiology that........


I reckon that orks being cockney hooligans is exactly right. probably Milwall supporters. (Although I am not sure if Milwall is in the east end.).......

Add this to a GW statement sometime back that Orks where akin to Scots Clansmen before the union and it brings an intresting image to mind :p

Sister of Battle - Nuns with Hard Habits

Sorros
22-01-2010, 19:26
Eldar: Angry Elves in space that tend to kill everyone that screws with them.

Dark Eldar: Hedonistic/Sadistic Elves in Space

Guard: Trillions of expendable meatshield human conscripts backed up by billions of powerful tanks. They usually just swarm the enemy with so much stuff that tactics have no bearing.

Chaos Daemons/Chaos in general:A quadruplet of whacked out gods that want to mess up the whole universe, but each has their own vision and so are not typically allies.

Space Marines: Angry 7 foot tall human crusaders who worship a god emperor with tons of implants and genetic engineering, who whack people with chainsaws and use mini-grenade launchers as rifles.

Chaos Space Marines: Angrier space marines who worship the gods of Chaos, usually in disturbing ways.

Daemonhunters/Witchhunters: Inquisitionary humans who are fanatical in their devotion to purging the universe of heretics and aliens in the name of the emperor

Tau:Join-us-or-die mentality blue space cows who have awesome technology and mechanized forces, but tend to obliterate anyone that doesnt join them. Of course, they have great benefits for people who do join.

Orks:Angry English football hooligans who just want to fight. They're mean, green, and randomly piece together fighting machines from salvaging other stuff. They even grow bigger by fighting!

Necrons: Pissed off robots who got rolled a long time ago and are now waking up. They just want to kill everything.

Tyranids:Hungry bugs that eat everything. Literally. Nothing organic is left behind when theyre done with a planet.

Grax
22-01-2010, 21:42
You forgot Daemonhunters/Witchhunters/Blood angels/Black Templars which can each be summed up as:

Space Marines

LKHERO
22-01-2010, 21:44
Tau are communists in mechasuits. They have superior firepower, and blue skin.

I just call them Fish Goats with Guns.

LKHERO
22-01-2010, 21:45
Eldar: Angry Elves in space that tend to kill everyone that screws with them.

Dark Eldar: Hedonistic/Sadistic Elves in Space

Guard: Trillions of expendable meatshield human conscripts backed up by billions of powerful tanks. They usually just swarm the enemy with so much stuff that tactics have no bearing.

Chaos Daemons/Chaos in general:A quadruplet of whacked out gods that want to mess up the whole universe, but each has their own vision and so are not typically allies.

Space Marines: Angry 7 foot tall human crusaders who worship a god emperor with tons of implants and genetic engineering, who whack people with chainsaws and use mini-grenade launchers as rifles.

Chaos Space Marines: Angrier space marines who worship the gods of Chaos, usually in disturbing ways.

Daemonhunters/Witchhunters: Inquisitionary humans who are fanatical in their devotion to purging the universe of heretics and aliens in the name of the emperor

Tau:Join-us-or-die mentality blue space cows who have awesome technology and mechanized forces, but tend to obliterate anyone that doesnt join them. Of course, they have great benefits for people who do join.

Orks:Angry English football hooligans who just want to fight. They're mean, green, and randomly piece together fighting machines from salvaging other stuff. They even grow bigger by fighting!

Necrons: Pissed off robots who got rolled a long time ago and are now waking up. They just want to kill everything.

Tyranids:Hungry bugs that eat everything. Literally. Nothing organic is left behind when theyre done with a planet.

This is very good.

Grimbad
22-01-2010, 21:52
Sister of Battle - Nuns with Hard Habits

Old habits are hard to break...

Orks: They're the mongols, the huns, the vikings, and the axis, and football hooligans, but goofy and in space.

dannyapplejuice
23-01-2010, 05:40
Tau look like legos in their battlesuits but under their battlesuit they look like fish. Tau never really seemed to belong in warhammer to me.

The Ginger Ninja
23-01-2010, 05:52
Space marines - think master chief combined with religious type people
Imperial Guard/Cadians - A bit like the modern armies around now, but with lasers and WW1 style tanks
Blood angels - Dare is say it? Vampires in space
Space wolves - Vikings in space
Necrons - Oh, just your typical 30 million year old undead terminators hellbent on galactic genocide and want to get back to their nap...
Sister of battle - Nuns with guns, BUT IN SPACE!
Orkz - Green skinned, they enjoy to fight, their gunz are mainly for the noise.
Tyranids - Very similar to Alien's aliens, but many more...
Chaos - Daemons and traitors with a morbid fascination with spiky things
Eldar - Tolkiens Elves in space
Squa- ah No, don't say the S word!
Dark eldar - Evil spikey elves in space
Tau - High tech race that suck at hand to hand

chaos0xomega
23-01-2010, 05:53
I generally try to go with what people already know:

Tyranids - Zerg
Eldar - Protoss/elves in space
Dark Eldar - Evil Protoss/elves in space/ dark templars
Space Marines - Terran Marines/Starship troopers (the book)/Spartans (Halo)/Space Knights
Chaos Marines - Evil Terran Marines/Starship troopers (the book)/Spartans (Halo)/Space Knights
Daemons - Evil things from another dimension, demons
Imperial Guard - WW2 German/Soviet army with a good bit of World War 1 thrown in for flavor
Tau - Blue otaku with not-gundams
Necrons - Terminator

I think that pretty much covers it

EffigyoftheSwarm
23-01-2010, 13:44
Tyranids: ''Have you seen the film 'Aliens'?''

Flying Toaster
23-01-2010, 13:57
Chaos: 10,000 years of eating babies and kicking puppies. Just because they can.

Inquisitor Engel
23-01-2010, 15:39
I relate the armies to factions/characters in other franchises. Space Marines = Star Craft marines, Tyranid = Zerg, Imperial Guard = Starship Troopers (or any other futuristic human army, you could actually do a very awesome Storm Trooper army with AT-STs), Tau = Gundam/Robotech, Necrons = Terminators, etc.

Problem you have with that is that Marines and Zerg were around for nearly a decade before Blizzard did Starcraft, and Guard were Guard before the movie was out (because the ones in the book are closer to Marines than Guard).

susu.exp
23-01-2010, 16:14
All armies are aspcts of you:

The Orks are your puberty. Scary to face, but funny in retrospect.
Chaos is your desires.
The imperium of man is your firm (if secret) belief that 1+1=3.
The Eldar (both) are are your ephemeral nature and how you deal with it.
The Necrons are your history that can not be forgotten, lest it repeat itself.
The Tau are your utopism and itīs failings.
The Tyranids are your unsustainable ecological footprint.

The conflicts of the war torn far future of the 41st millenium are the conflicts of your daily life, your everyday quagmires and musings.

Gen.Steiner
24-01-2010, 00:09
All armies are aspcts of you:

The Orks are your puberty. Scary to face, but funny in retrospect.
Chaos is your desires.
The imperium of man is your firm (if secret) belief that 1+1=3.
The Eldar (both) are are your ephemeral nature and how you deal with it.
The Necrons are your history that can not be forgotten, lest it repeat itself.
The Tau are your utopism and itīs failings.
The Tyranids are your unsustainable ecological footprint.

The conflicts of the war torn far future of the 41st millenium are the conflicts of your daily life, your everyday quagmires and musings.

susu.exp wins the thread, the freedom of the Warseer Forum, and a Very Large Rich Tea Biscuit. This is the best set of explanations I've seen for 40K ever.

Gutzmek
24-01-2010, 02:45
All armies are aspcts of you:

The Orks are your puberty. Scary to face, but funny in retrospect.
Chaos is your desires.
The imperium of man is your firm (if secret) belief that 1+1=3.
The Eldar (both) are are your ephemeral nature and how you deal with it.
The Necrons are your history that can not be forgotten, lest it repeat itself.
The Tau are your utopism and itīs failings.
The Tyranids are your unsustainable ecological footprint.

The conflicts of the war torn far future of the 41st millenium are the conflicts of your daily life, your everyday quagmires and musings.

You forgot how Space Marines part power fantasy and our ideal selves(faithful, dutiful, righteous, courageous, etc.). Chaos Space Marines are part power fantasy and the part of us that harbors selfish desires for what we cannot attain.

Tau are more of a Utopian utilitarian (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utilitarianism) society rather than a Utopian communist (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communism) one.

tezdal
24-01-2010, 06:30
Just think of their fantasy counterpart and then say "in spaaaace.

borithan
24-01-2010, 15:16
Tyranids: Think giant bugs who are out to eat everything. Think the "Alien" film, except millions of them.
Orks: Erm... orcs with guns.
Tau: The closest to nice people the universe has. And that's purely because they won't just exterminate you for the sake of it.
Chaos: EVIL! in space. For an outsider there is not really any need for greater explanation.
Eldar: Elves in space. Ancient and arrogant.
The Imperium: The worst aspects of the Soviet Union, Nazi Germany and the Medieval Catholic Church combined together. Worst thing is that much of their horrendousness is necessary if Humanity is to survive.
The Imperial Guard: The stereotype of the WW2 Red Army in space.
Space Marines: 7 foot tall supersoldiers, whose main weapon is a rocket
assisted assault rifle that fires exploding bullets.
Necrons: Think of the Terminator from the Terminator films, but when they don't have skin.

Totally unrelated, and purely for my own interest, what's this American thing of pluralising Lego? I have seen lots of Americans referring to "legos" (and only Americans... everyone else I have come across uses it as an adjective, so its "lego bricks").

Keetoowah
24-01-2010, 18:16
Orks- Waaagh!
Sisters of Battle- Nuns with guns taking PMS to a whole new level
Tyranids- NOM NOM NOM NOM

TimLeeson
24-01-2010, 18:19
Necrons : Terminators that read too much HP Lovecraft

Enslavers : psychic jellyfish that like to enslave people. alot.

Gutzmek
24-01-2010, 18:38
Totally unrelated, and purely for my own interest, what's this American thing of pluralising Lego? I have seen lots of Americans referring to "legos" (and only Americans... everyone else I have come across uses it as an adjective, so its "lego bricks").

Totally unrelated answer. In America we refer to any single brick, wheel, do-dad, or lego man in a Lego set as a "lego". "legos" is the plural form. So when an angry mother scolds her messy 5 year old, she usually says,"Pick up your legos." It spread into common usage to refer to the whole Lego toyline and any knock-off toylines, "If your good, I,ll buy you some legos"


ON TOPIC:

alternate Ork description: Muppet Pirates......IN SPACCCE!!!!!!!!!:D
Ever see Fraggle Rock or Labyrinth? close enough.

Cythus
24-01-2010, 19:00
I describe both Chaos Space Marines and Space Marines as:

Psycopaths, who have been turned into superhuman knights, give the best sci-fi tech and who worship gods.

The difference is that the Space Marine's God wants humanity to destroy every sentient being other than them and the Choas Space Marines have 4 Gods who want to destroy every sentient being

Logarithm Udgaur
24-01-2010, 19:36
Totally unrelated, and purely for my own interest, what's this American thing of pluralising Lego? I have seen lots of Americans referring to "legos" (and only Americans... everyone else I have come across uses it as an adjective, so its "lego bricks").

As an American, I can tell you that we are waaaaaay too lazy to use an extra word when we can just add an "s." In fact, I am too lazy to finish this po


alternate Ork description: Muppet Pirates......IN SPACCCE!!!!!!!!!:
I am pretty sure I saw that movie.

DioīRa
24-01-2010, 20:02
Harlequins, the space clowns :p

But thats also our normal mans term for eldar overall, the space flying circus of the future :rolleyes:

Kalen
25-01-2010, 18:37
I had the pleasure of convincing a friend to play Orks. He loves british humor and all that stuff so I thought he'd stick to them well. I just said they're football hooligans who don't give a toss about anything but fighting, winning and large weaponry. I told him some Orky facts like how ork currency works (Nobody cares about teef, cause if they need some they find an ork and beat the crap out of them) and sealed the deal by lending him Deff Skwadron.

the guy's hooked :3

Chaplain Ark
25-01-2010, 19:01
my friend was looking at some armies to start, and hilariously he was looking at Eldar, Tau, Nids, and Marines. he asked what the difference was between them, and i said basically they are space elves, communist fish people, quintessential aliens, and super humans.

Gen.Steiner
26-01-2010, 09:37
Tau... are... not Communists, nor are they fish!!

They're bovines or ungulates if anything, but in truth they're neither of those either, because they're... waitforit, waitforit...

ALIENS

Tau can best be summed up as: Sinister aliens probably genetically engineered as a weapon against the Elder Gods by a race of Space Elves.

Or, more accurately: Aliens who want everyone to submit to their utilitarian idea of the greater good and in so doing bring peace and science to the galaxy by way of killing anyone who disagrees. For their own good.

Max1mum
26-01-2010, 10:08
nids : Intergalactic Grasshopper Plague.

the Tau - fish. ;-)

Gen.Steiner
26-01-2010, 10:08
the Tau - fish. ;-)

:eek: Nooooooooooo... :cries:

Tourniquet
26-01-2010, 14:46
Tau - Space goat fish communists

SM - genetically altered killing machines who's options for fighting are : Kill everything and kill everything more
Eldar: Uppity gypsy space elves
Dark Eldar: Sadistic uppity space elves, with spikey bits and thong bakini's as armour
Nids: Kinda like a stoner, they just want to eat everything
necrons: Undead robots
Imperials: Space Jehovas Witnesses. *knock knock* "hi, join us in our beliefes...no? ok....BURN THE HERETIC PURGATION PURGATION!!

tau comment just for you Steiner :p

Gen.Steiner
26-01-2010, 15:01
tau comment just for you Steiner :p

I hate you all. Yes, even you, defenceless puppy in the corner!

Lyinar
26-01-2010, 16:05
To describe the Tau, I just say they're optimists in a big, grim, dark future. They genuinely believe they can unite the galaxy under their philosophy of the Greater Good, and they're just beginning to get an inkling of how overwhelmingly difficult that's going to be despite their advanced tech. They think the Imperials are a bit dumb at best for their dogged belief in the Emperor's divinity, because they don't fully comprehend just what that belief is staving off.

Gen.Steiner
26-01-2010, 16:34
They're also very sinister indeed. How about "Sinister alien overlord types who are naively optimistic about the inevitability of their conquest of the galaxy because they never saw the Alien films"

gwarsh41
26-01-2010, 18:51
for space wolves you can use any space marine summary, but tack on.
They drink and fight all the time in stead of praying, plus they are basically werwolves.

Sir_Lunchalot
26-01-2010, 18:59
The Tau are the WWII Japanese Empire (Or, the Greater East-Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere, for those of us who love ominously nice sounding euphamisms) in space, with mechasuits and hovertanks.

The Imperial Guard are the army where the only truly renewable resource is people.

Space Marines - bio-engineered supersoldiers wearing power armour

Chaos - above, but daemonic.

Blood Angels - Aryan space vampires in power armour.

Dark Angels - emo space marines

Black Templars - Knights Templar in space.

Space Wolves - Space Vikings who are (ironically) named after a Norse demon

Eldar (both kinds) - Elves in space.

Tyranids - generic inhuman bug-like chitinous alien swarm of doom

Necrons - ancient undead robots

Orks - European soccer hooligans, or Oilers fans on White Ave.

Sisters of battle - medieval Catholic church, with guns, power armour, and all women. in space.

DioīRa
26-01-2010, 19:16
I had today an akward moment....

Was shopping at the model train store for some overpriced plasticard, when the shop clerik starts asking me if I need help and what I need this load of plasticard for.

Anyway I explain to the guy that I need it for terrain for Warhammer 40k.

Now the clerik knew a little about 40k, I was suprised the guy didn't knew anything about dawn of war as I tried to explain him more about 40k through dawn of war, as...well any video gamer should know/heard of dawn of war and atleast the space marines!

The guy started explaining me that he knew about robots and plasma weaponry, aka the necrons....but the guy never heard of space marines!

and every time I tried to explain the difference between space marines and necrons, he kept thinking that necrons are space marines...

after 30min, I gave up and had to run!

a person who heard of 40k, never of dawn of war and never of space marines! but instead only of necrons...I was so suprised...

sliganian
26-01-2010, 19:23
Inquisitorial Forces: entire army lists that should be a book of scenarios instead of army books.

/oh yeah, it's ON! ;)

Thud
26-01-2010, 19:28
a person who heard of 40k, never of dawn of war and never of space marines! but instead only of necrons...I was so suprised...

GW must not be pushing Marines enough. We need more Space Marine codices! :p

DioīRa
26-01-2010, 19:58
GW must not be pushing Marines enough. We need more Space Marine codices! :p

if they want to push marines so much and want to be succesful at it....then they should have by now made a Horus Heresy TT game!

Atleast there the marine vs marine only battles is more justified than in the 40k setting...

Sir_Lunchalot
26-01-2010, 21:05
Dio'Ra: Behold (http://www.ccgarmory.com/hohewaccg.html)

DioīRa
26-01-2010, 22:36
Dio'Ra: Behold (http://www.ccgarmory.com/hohewaccg.html)

I know the card game, I was talking about GW directly making a tabletop game instead :p

Sir_Lunchalot
26-01-2010, 23:09
My bad, somehow I read "TT game" as "Trading card game". Don't ask me how. I do remember they had an old horus heresy boardgame, that's now been redone by Fantasy Flight Games.

Max Jet
26-01-2010, 23:47
a person who heard of 40k, never of dawn of war and never of space marines! but instead only of necrons...I was so suprised...

It's easy ^^ Two years ago I was checking half poland out for cheap model kits and there was only one troop choice I got for a discount.

Necron Warriors are the only model kit from GW you get for cheaper (i.e. half the prise)

Don't ask me why Oo

Sygerrik
27-01-2010, 01:49
I call Blood Angels the Twilight Marines. My BA playing friend is furious but it gets one of the girls in my DnD group interested. I tell her the Chapter Master is named Edward and my friend has to restrain himself from attacking his DM.

DioīRa
27-01-2010, 03:43
I call Blood Angels the Twilight Marines. My BA playing friend is furious but it gets one of the girls in my DnD group interested. I tell her the Chapter Master is named Edward and my friend has to restrain himself from attacking his DM.

You are evil....are you sure on which side your loyalty is? twilight or 40k! how can say that sparkle sparkle vampires are Blood Angels!

ehlijen
27-01-2010, 04:58
Imperial Guard: WW1 in space.
Space marines: Nazi super science sneers at you...in space.
Inquisition: Inquisition in space! (shock horror!)
Nids: Aliens, but not infringing any copyrights
Orks: Barbarians in space
Eldar: Internet ninjas in space.
Chaos: Stereotypically evil
Necrons: Undead robots
Tau: Modern imperialism in space.
Dark eldar: still evil but somehow don't count as chaos
Deamons: Like chaos, but the deamons can't be bothered possesing people first

And then you get the mixes:

Space wolves = space marines crossed with orks
Blood angels = space marines crossed with chaos
Dark angels = space marines crossed with eldar
Black templars = space marines crossed with inquisition