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zork rumpscratcha
16-06-2010, 16:51
2 40k generals were warped back from the future to be subjected to the confusing rules of 7th edition fantasy. We'll refer to them as ORCmacro and ORCmaxro.

Pictures at http://picasaweb.google.com/thehathawayhome/100615Orcs?feat=directlink

Following the demise of grom's (the young grom, not the special character) wolfriding shaman kaloth last game do to an explosive aneurism, he found himself in need of a new shaman. Noting the impressive performance of the wyvern riding shaman last game (not that he did anything, he just happened to stay alive) he commissioned Loud Breff to join his waagh. The waagh then promptly became Loud Breff's waagh as a wyvern riding shaman lord was slightly more impressive to the boys than a fat goblin on a tired old chariot. Anyway, the boyz could smell the savage orc army before they even got close to their mountain fortress so they set up shop with the chukkas and doom divers ready to reign doom from above.

Everything in the battle is pretty much wysiwyg. So you see in the pic below that his army was 2 doom divers, 15 boar boyz full command, 20 big'uns w shields and boss, 20 night gobbos w bows, bsb with spider banner and a fanatic, young grom on chariot w/ iron gnashas and martog's best basha, 20 night gobbos w shields, boss, and 2 fanatics. 15 black orcs w boss and banner, 15 wolf riders with bows, and 2 spear chukkas.

My list was 10 spider riders full command, 15 savage orcs w shields, full command, 6 trolls, Zork Rumpscratcha savage orc big boss w bashas bloodaxe light armor and shield, 15 savage orcs w spears and shields w savage orc shaman w nibbla's itty ring, 15 savage orcs w bows, giant, 9 savage orc boar boys w Boogie savage orc shaman level 2 w waagh paint and skull wand of kaloth.

So OrcMacro and Maxro got to go first and they moved up and shot. First time back into range guessing had Macro off a bit for the doom diver, spear chukkas whiffed all game. Maxro's comment "You have to have at least 4 of these to do anything." Loud Breff got off a magic missile that roasted 5 spider riders and sent them fleeing off the board.
The wolf riders squabbled I think and grom and his arrer boyz stayed put.

Zork shifted his battle line to account for the lack of spider riders sending the trolls to receive the charge from the boar riders. The spears squabbled over whether they wanted Blue drink or red drink. The shootas killed one goblin, big whoop. The boar boys moved up on top of the hill to get the +1 combat res. should they be waaagh charged. And the black orcs waddled up. Magic failed because the nibbla shaman was fighting over blue drink, red drink so Macro was easily able to dispel the magic missile from Boogie.

WAAAAGH! Macro and Maxro declare a waagh in turn 2 I think. The wyvern goes into the savage orcs on the far left as do the big'uns who also run into Zork, uh oh. The wolf riders and grom seriously alter the battle line as they race over toward Loud Breff (I think this was a mistake as they could have charged with each of these guys instead of getting charged later.) Loud Breff miscasts on the magic Waaagh and gives himself frenzy and stupidity. "He was already stupid." The savage orc boss challenges the shaman. The wyvern destroys the boss with an overkill of one. Zork kills some big'uns rolling 4 for his bloodaxe. Combat is a draw, I win with the musician, Wyvern rolls out 3d6 putting him 5 inches away or something. The big'uns stick.

My turn, Zork yells WAAAGH! this sends the spearboyz into the melee with the big'uns but the trolls don't hear to good so they don't go d6 forward and they're stupid so they sit there instead of charging the boars. My boar boyz and giant trigger all three fanatics out of both units. The giant takes 3 wounds the boys take 1. The fanatics proceed to kill themselves next turn by wrapping huge metal balls around their necks. I charge through a fanatic to get into combat with the goblins and unleash the nogg's banner hoping to overrun into the wolf riders. The boys do a furious number of frenzied nogg attacks wiping out half the unit. The giant yells and bawls and the goblins flee and the boar boys and giant pursue into the wolf riders. The black orcs charge into the black orcs. My magic Waaagh got dispelled even though Breff was fleeing and I forgot to shoot my arrows at the large target wyvern. DOH!

Combat sees the black orcs flee out of range, the goblins flee, and the big'uns flee. The spear attacks were really lame though.

Turn 3 Macro's shaman rallies. Maxro's black orcs rally, the goblins don't they flee off the board. The big 'uns rally. He attempts to magic waaagh but takes a wound instead. Doom Divers hit and wound somebody. Poison night goblins kill something. He backs up his chariot beside the big'uns. Frenzy forces Loud Breff to charge but this time the boar boyz have flank charged the left most savage orcs too. Combat sees those savage orcs holding. Zork take out Loud Breff but the wyvern kills Zork and then goes stupid. "He was already stupid."

On the other side of the board the giant and savage boar boyz decimate the wolf riders but don't overrun quite into the war machines. The wolf riders just barely stay on the board.

Savage Orc turn. Black Orcs charge, Giant charges doom diver, savage Boar Boys charge wolf riders who run off the board instead they go into the spear chukka. Boogie waaaghs now that there's less dispel dice on the board and the trolls can't quite make it into combat whereas the arrer boyz drop their bows and sprint 12 inches across the table to flank charge the big'uns.

Hand to hand sees the Big'uns fleeing the right most savages holding against Macro's boar boys. Maxro's black orcs get beaten and flee. and the Savage Orc arrer boyz beat the Big 'uns and overrun into Grom and his chariot. We didn't fight the savage orc boar boyz or the giant's combat because we called it at this point.

Macro was asleep on the couch. And Maxro had had about enough of the O&G who weren't as tough as chaos warriors nor as shooty as his Tau. "Next time you're playing high elves and see how you do with an army you don't know."

I guess I need to get some high elves painted.

The shaman Loud Breff was dead. The savage orc big boss Zork Rumpscratcha was dead. Young Grom still hadn't seen too much combat and now the Savage Orcs were running amok in his mountain fortress. Grom burped, "What these boyz need is a good enemy to keep them from fighting amongst themselves." Nibbla nodded, though he knew even an imposing enemy 24 inches away wouldn't be enough to calm these boys down.

Malorian
16-06-2010, 17:37
2 40k generals were warped back from the future to be subjected to the confusing rules of 7th edition fantasy. We'll refer to them as ORCmacro and ORCmaxro.

You lost me right there.

Don't come into a fantasy part of the forum, trash talk fantasy, and then expect people to give a damn about your report.

lordsigmund
16-06-2010, 17:55
Saying that something is confusing = trash talk now? I didn't see anything else even vaguely derogatory in there. Methinks a bit of lightening up would help you there Malorian.

Anyway, amusing report, thanks for posting it.

Blacknewyear
16-06-2010, 18:21
What he was saying was that the two people playing the generals of the goblins were 40k players. I being one of them was a bit confused on a few of the rules because i mainly play 40k.

We constantly complained about how some of the rules make no sense.

It was mainly a jab at us. So really, take some midol.

Malorian
16-06-2010, 18:24
We constantly complained about how some of the rules make no sense.

You aren't helping...


Maybe I should go into the 40k battle report thread and start talknig about how overly simply the 40k rules are and about how some of them don't even make sense...

I wonder what kind of response I would get...

zork rumpscratcha
16-06-2010, 18:41
The rules ARE going to get a facelift and I wonder if some things will be made more like 40k. I have no problem with the rules as they are. It just gets a little confusing as you're trying to remember how 40k terrain works vs. fantasy. 40k attack backs vs. fantasy. The post wasn't meant to trash talk fantasy.

zork rumpscratcha
16-06-2010, 19:29
Check out this batrep with the new rules. My bro thought that charges should give a bonus to combat res and thought it was dumb that attacks shut down attacks back. Well, those changes have been made in the new edition.
http://z3.invisionfree.com/Orc__Goblin_Warpath/index.php?showtopic=26580

hamax1
16-06-2010, 19:43
we don't have to play "safety" on posting etiquette to get people to read rompskratcha's Battle Reports ... they are hilarious, you will want to read them.

my FEW great community moments with warhammer players/fans are usually the times when we all agree about rules being bad

kurisawa
17-11-2010, 03:28
Hello Zork. So, as promised I found this, and quite liked it! You obviously mixed in game events with just a little story, but the story was the best bit. :)

I'll admit I totally lost the plot of what was happening in the battle - black orcs charging black orcs? But that is to be expected in a greenskins vs greenskins game, and it seemed that everything that could go wrong, went wrong. "He was already stupid." :D

I liked it.

K.