View Full Version : Very short short story

15-07-2010, 10:43
Hello all :)
I wrote this some time ago, and haven't really bothered to show it to anyone, so I thought it would be nice to receive some constructive criticism, as I am interested in writing more :)
So, yeah, here goes:

Of blood and rot

With the stench of rot and decay filling his nostrils, Arkhūr, Champion of the Blood God, strode through the mud and filth of the battlefield. The damned decayed ones where one step ahead of him. This stinking battlefield was a strict reminder of that humiliation. All around him laid the rotting bodies of the southlings and the northmen alike. The husks of plague filled trees scattered the landscape. The air was sickening; Arkhūr heard several of his men empty their stomachs. Had he come first, this field would be a holy gore soaked temple to the Blood God. Hjard, you rotten bastard, he thought to himself. Somehow the decayed ones had come here before him. If only he knew how.
- Search this place; bring any living thing to me, he said with a forced cold voice, lest the men learned how frustrated he was. His men moved out, covering their mouths and noses with their hands or pieces of fur. They knew better than to not protect themselves against the dark workings of the Fly God.
- Lord Arkhūr, we have found one, yelled a Marauder a few yards away.
- Bring him to me, let him spill his guts! He said with a wicked, yet joyful, grin on his face. They carried the barely breathing southling to him.
- Speak weakling, spill your guts and the Gods might look kind upon you in the world beyond, said the Lord with a voice thrilling with excitement. The man was crying snot, he vomited once, and then he spoke.
- We where sent to guard the village from the forces of the north, he began. Then
the mist came, the plagued fog, the silent death. And then they came.
- Continue, said Arkhūr impatiently, while the man vomited again.
- All of a sudden they charged from the fog, slaughtering and spreading the plague to everyone in their way.
Arkhūr now knew how they had come here so fast. They had used dark sorceries to speed their advance.
- The village you where guarding, where is it? The Lord asked.
- Here, said the man and gestured to the diseased battlefield. Lord Arkhūr looked around and noticed for the first time the rubble of ruined buildings dotting the field. They had utterly razed the town to the ground.
- Burn the corpses, we will set up camp further south in the forest, he commanded his men. His men lit torches and set out to enflame the battlefield.
- As for you, hail the Blood God when you meet him, he said and decapitated the crippled man in one stroke of his twin bladed axe.
If his luck (or lack thereof) continued like this, Lord Arkhūr would have to find a new raiding route into the south, and that would indeed be a major setback for him.