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Lord_Crull
10-08-2010, 19:42
As one would note in his rules Calgar has a power sword in addition to his Fists. He had a sheathed sword on his model. Now how would he use that in battle effectivly? The handle looks too small to be effectivly grasped by his fists. How would one handle a sword with power fists?

J-kob
10-08-2010, 19:45
He is that bad-ass he hold it in his ASS CHEEKS

Kage2020
10-08-2010, 19:47
Using extreme concentration, which comes easy to Calgar, the sword levitates out of the scabbard using MIU-linked tractor beam technology. After that it is held between the dual power fields of the two fists.

Phallic? No... :shifty:

Alternately, they're transformers. They transfer into a robotic hand that not only manipulates the sword but gives Calgar additional reach so that he can lay the smack down at increased range. This is useful when fighting against Avatars that have the spear form of the Wailing Doom, which for the sake of the 5e codex is going to have its named changed to the "Screaming Heebie-Jeebie." :eyebrows:

Or, when Calgar wishes to use them, he activates the "awesomez" module and the power fists detach, at which point they fly around to lay the smack down by remote control while Calgar gets around to the business end of reaping Avatars like straw.

:D

Or, more seriously, the model is just meant to be cool looking. :D

Kage

gwarsh41
10-08-2010, 19:50
I would think a sword weilded by the awesome power of power fists would be insane power.
In game this just means he gets to choose between a Pfist and a sword right? Like a weaker version of what grimnar has?

Lord Damocles
10-08-2010, 19:51
I'd imagine that the Gauntlet(s) would restrict movement sufficiently that fighting with his sword would be more a case of swinging it with great force than any more subtle fighting style.

Perhaps the Gauntlet(s) can be 'locked' when gripping to limit the chance of the sword flying off out of his hand when he swings it, or getting stuck in opponants.



He is that bad-ass he hold it in his ASS CHEEKS
Thanks for that :eyebrows:



EDIT: There was an old bit of artwork (in 'Index Astartes: Ultramarines'?) which had another Marine wielding a Power Sword in a Power Fist as well...

Col. Tartleton
10-08-2010, 20:15
If you look how big Astartes swords are, they're fully capable of being held by a powerfist. The only reason power fists are I1 is game balance and technique. To my understanding, he isn't punching with a power fist, he's grappling. You grip and tear. You lock around the guy and tear him in half. When he's crumping a tank he puts a foot against the body and rips the entire tread system free. When he does a weapon destroyed he pulled the sponson off. When he destroys it he ripped the turret off and dropped a melta bomb inside. Remember, power weapons use a force field. It makes the weapon harder. The power sword works because its field makes it as hard as a diamond and as sharp as a katana which means given some force it will go through that tank while a normal sword would break.

So with a sword he'd be cutting. With a fist he's ripping. With a hammer he's smashing. Power weapons aren't light sabers, they're magic swords.

Lord Inquisitor
10-08-2010, 20:32
There's no real fluff reason for powerfists to be slow. Purely game balance. They strike at normal initiative in Necromunda and Inquisitor.

As far as I know he just holds it in his powerfist. While the hilt looks a little short, it isn't entirely implausible. Plus one could assume some kind of locking mechanism as suggested above.

However, the idea that a Terminator commander can hold a powersword in his power fist goes WAY back to the original inception of Terminators in Space Hulk and specifically the first Deathwing expansion (http://media.photobucket.com/image/space%20hulk%20force%20list%20deathwing/colorcrayons/Space%20Hulk/deathwingsquads.jpg). (It was totally a good use of my time to find that picture on the interwebz :shifty:)

Edit: although in that picture the captain holds a sword but does have a sword in his scabbard too. I remember being puzzled by this 20 years ago too... So maybe the scabbarded sword is purely ornamental and some little munchkin or thrall runs along and gives him his "fighting sword"?

SharpSilver
10-08-2010, 22:04
Pfft, It's Marneus Calgar, silly!

:shifty:

MajorWesJanson
10-08-2010, 22:06
Carefully.

Or just turn off the power field on the fist. Skilled users are supposed to do anything between pick flowers to crush skulls with those fists.

thewizard99
10-08-2010, 22:21
Carefully.

Or just turn off the power field on the fist. Skilled users are supposed to do anything between pick flowers to crush skulls with those fists.

And thus comes the image of Calgar prancing around like a little girl in a feild of flowers....la die da die da!!!!!

CasaHouse
10-08-2010, 22:32
Whenever necessary, an Avatar of Khaine spawns nearby, Calgar promptly punches one of the Gauntlets of Ultramar through its chest, leaves it there, draws the sword with his now-unencumbered hand, strikes, sheathes the sword, and retrieves his gauntlet.

None but the Chapter Master of the Emperor's Finest Ultramarines could manage such a mighty maneuver four times a turn.

thewizard99
10-08-2010, 22:34
Whenever necessary, an Avatar of Khaine spawns nearby, Calgar promptly punches one of the Gauntlets of Ultramar through its chest, leaves it there, draws the sword with his now-unencumbered hand, strikes, sheathes the sword, and retrieves his gauntlet.

None but the Chapter Master of the Emperor's Finest Ultramarines could manage such a mighty maneuver four times a turn.

Heh, its possible he just switches hands. Left fist first, sword, right first sword left fist, etc.

spetswalshe
10-08-2010, 22:35
If Marneus Calgar feels it necessary to unsheathe his sword, whoever is nearby is going to be in serious trouble.

Like, stealing Darth Vader's lunch after he specifically wrote his name on it then getting caught red-handed in bed with the Emperor trouble.

Green-is-best
10-08-2010, 22:45
It just looks like a sword. It's actually a cleverly camouflaged piece of armor. Not a lot of room in the legs of a suit of terminator armor, if you get my drift.

thewizard99
10-08-2010, 23:26
It just looks like a sword. It's actually a cleverly camouflaged piece of armor. Not a lot of room in the legs of a suit of terminator armor, if you get my drift.

Shame Marines have no reproductive organs.

Green-is-best
10-08-2010, 23:36
Sure they do. You think the apothecaries lops off your willy when you become a space marine?

Askil the Undecided
10-08-2010, 23:37
power weapons use a force field. It makes the weapon harder. The power sword works because its field makes it as hard as a diamond and as sharp as a katana which means given some force it will go through that tank while a normal sword would break.

So with a sword he'd be cutting. With a fist he's ripping. With a hammer he's smashing. Power weapons aren't light sabers, they're magic swords.

You must be aware that's total balls.

Power fields (which are canonically stated as being blue) disrupt the molecular cohesion of surrounding matter, making it easier to pass through, or, more to the point, to push your weapon through.

In essence a power field messes with the fundamental structure of whatever you try to touch, changing it temporarily into something with a rigidity more akin into warmed butter

It doesn't "make the weapon harder" at all power sword blades for example could be made of glass although they are normally built to be useable with the field inactive too they don't even really need to sharp, it's just a measure taken to further reduce the resistance offered by the target.

thewizard99
10-08-2010, 23:46
Sure they do. You think the apothecaries lops off your willy when you become a space marine?

Well they never use them, they become shrivvled up. thus pointless and frownd upon by them.

Green-is-best
11-08-2010, 00:21
I don't think that part of your anatomy atrophies from lack of use.

Kage2020
11-08-2010, 00:23
Well, 40k science has never been all that. Maybe it's the literary equivalent of a Freudian Slip? ;)

Kage

Hellebore
11-08-2010, 00:35
Well one would imagine he carries it like normal. However crull's point is that the hilt/handle is, relative to his fists, too small for him to carry:

http://attachments.conceptart.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=676288&stc=1&d=1242898363

http://www.ironhalo.net/Images/40k/calgar02.jpg

He would have to grab the handle and let his powerpinky hang off the end. Given the grip strength of a power fist I don't see that it would be too problematic.

Hellebore

Kage2020
11-08-2010, 00:55
Maybe he just uses this sword (http://www.uttaradit.go.th/utteng/web/images/mueang/34-01.jpg)?

Kage

Green-is-best
11-08-2010, 01:39
Maybe he just uses this sword (http://www.uttaradit.go.th/utteng/web/images/mueang/34-01.jpg)?

Kage

I was really afraid to click that link...

Son of Sanguinius
11-08-2010, 01:44
I was really afraid to click that link...

So was I, even though I've never known Kage to be...inappropriate. ;)


Maybe he just uses this sword (http://www.uttaradit.go.th/utteng/web/images/mueang/34-01.jpg)?

Kage

I use that sword, thank you very much.

Drasanil
11-08-2010, 01:47
I was really afraid to click that link...

Funny dat, I was kind of disappointed when I clicked that link:p

*shakes head* been spending too much time on 4chan and E.D.

lequaye
11-08-2010, 01:50
Could he just not bother using the sword?

I mean I carry a mobile phone around with me all day and never use the thing. Some times I even forget I even own one. I bet the only reason Calgar caries it into battle is so he does not miss place the cursed thing.

Son of Sanguinius
11-08-2010, 01:52
Could he just not bother using the sword?

I mean I carry a mobile phone around with me all day and never use the thing. Some times I even forget I even own one. I bet the only reason Calgar caries it into battle is so he does not miss place the cursed thing.

You're probably right on, but in the game it seems it's absolutely legal for him to use it.

burning crome
11-08-2010, 02:55
it just their so if desired he can use his high I and kill stuff before they strike back rather than going last. On the model the hilt should be a bit longer but not my much so he just turns his gloves off (yes fist do turn off and on) and draw it.

Hunger
11-08-2010, 11:22
Power fields (which are canonically stated as being blue) disrupt the molecular cohesion of surrounding matter, making it easier to pass through, or, more to the point, to push your weapon through.

This is correct. Its not the weapon that causes the damage - that powersword could just be a wooden stick with an energy field projector and it would be just as lethal. The field destroys the target, not the stick.

Question is, why doesn't the energy field destroy the weapon? Or the Marine's arm?

Also, Space Hulk 2nd Edition Rulebook tells us that the fist's powerfield can simply be switched off with the touch of a button, so the Marine can pick things up, something he can do delicately and with precision. I can;'t be bothered to find an actual quote, but the passage I'm thinking of reads something like this:

"Fibre bundles and servos in the gauntlet allow the Marine to manipulate objects with the greatest of care as if he were using his own hand. The warrior can delicately pick up a glass or crush a skull with ease."

The power field magnifies the latter effect, allowing the Marine to rip off the tank's hatch and drop a krak grenade inside, twist the head off a carnifex or smash his way through a bunker wall.

How do you beat Ultramar's greatest warrior in single combat? Use a long stick to switch off his powerfists...

BBWags
11-08-2010, 12:53
This might be a little off topic (yeah, it totally is), but I've never really understood how a PF could actually work. I mean, if you're crushing things in your hand, then I understand, but when people talk of ripping apart and pulling things apart and such, that requires an awful lot more body-muscle use than just your hands or even your arms. Grabbing something with both hands and pulling apart uses a tremendous amount of shoulder and upper back muscles, which I don't believe are augmented by a PF. Also, "Planting your foot" on a tank and pulling off a sponson obviously requires leg muscles to do a significant portion of the work.

I'm all good with the "rule of cool" aspect, but if we want to get technical, I'm just not sure how it would work.

BTW, to address the actual topic, wouldn't his sword be considered an bastardized version of a real-world bastard sword? (haha) Isn't the whole concept of a B-sword that you can wield it one handed with an excess of handle or use it two handed to have more power, though the last two fingers of the second hand aren't actually on the sword? Leastwise, that's what my historian uncle told me one time when we were roleplaying . . . :-)

Askil the Undecided
11-08-2010, 13:32
This might be a little off topic (yeah, it totally is), but I've never really understood how a PF could actually work. I mean, if you're crushing things in your hand, then I understand, but when people talk of ripping apart and pulling things apart and such, that requires an awful lot more body-muscle use than just your hands or even your arms. Grabbing something with both hands and pulling apart uses a tremendous amount of shoulder and upper back muscles, which I don't believe are augmented by a PF. Also, "Planting your foot" on a tank and pulling off a sponson obviously requires leg muscles to do a significant portion of the work.

I'm all good with the "rule of cool" aspect, but if we want to get technical, I'm just not sure how it would work.

The powerfield would render the affected material far weaker than normal it'd be like a strong man ripping bits of wet plasterboard out of a wall, the weakened parts would practically disintergrate, while the unaffected parts would give touble. The utility of a powerfist is that it subjects a larger area to the field effect, the utility of the servos in the fist is to aid in applying the extra force not needed with other, sharper power weapons.

abasio
11-08-2010, 15:26
Maybe it's there for back up in case he loses his Chaos gloves.

Chem-Dog
11-08-2010, 16:34
However, the idea that a Terminator commander can hold a powersword in his power fist goes WAY back to the original inception of Terminators in Space Hulk

Indeed, the main advantage of a powerfist over any other kind of weapon weilded by the Terminators was it's ability to be used as a weapon and, well, a hand, models with powerfists were allowed to perform actions that those without them were unable to.



Like, stealing Darth Vader's lunch after he specifically wrote his name on it then getting caught red-handed in bed with the Emperor trouble.

Well, in that particular circumstance, I believe the Emperor is the "Top"....:shifty:


Sure they do. You think the apothecaries lops off your willy when you become a space marine?

This made me laff


....so he just turns his gloves off (yes fist do turn off and on) and draw it.

Imagine the fun that could be had if they were fitted with this device (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XUOhjW2AXM)



Question is, why doesn't the energy field destroy the weapon? Or the Marine's arm?

It's a projected field, the effect is a result of the projection.


How do you beat Ultramar's greatest warrior in single combat? Use a long stick to switch off his powerfists...

At which point he draws his sword....


This might be a little off topic (yeah, it totally is), but I've never really understood how a PF could actually work.

Make a paper plane, crush it with your hand.
Multiply that by the power of awesome.

I'd always considered them to be something akin to the "Jaws of life", requiring the opportunity to get a firm grasp of the target before squishing them. That or hurled around like a huge chunk of metal when your marine wants to get all bashy.

Zweischneid
11-08-2010, 16:49
Make a paper plane, crush it with your hand.
Multiply that by the power of awesome.

I'd always considered them to be something akin to the "Jaws of life", requiring the opportunity to get a firm grasp of the target before squishing them. That or hurled around like a huge chunk of metal when your marine wants to get all bashy.

The question than is, why does a Powerfist get even more awsome if you add a small Chainsword to it? And if an added Chainsword + Powerfist = Chainfist is the ultimate combo, couldn't Calgar use his Powersword (Powersword > Chainsword) with his Powerfist active for a Powersword + Powerfist = Powerswordfist super-combo? Or is that too much awsomeness for even the Lord of Macragge? And why hasn't anyone reverse-engineered Chainfists into Sword-shaped Chainpowerswords?

To give him true justice, Calgar should really be dual-wielding a Powerswordfist and a Chainpowersword in close combat

Lord Inquisitor
11-08-2010, 19:30
The question than is, why does a Powerfist get even more awsome if you add a small Chainsword to it?

Because then it becomes a power chainsword. Obviously that's going to be made of awesomeness.

Son of Sanguinius
11-08-2010, 19:33
Because then it becomes a power chainsword. Obviously that's going to be made of awesomeness.

And physics be damned. :shifty: :p

Col. Tartleton
11-08-2010, 22:57
You must be aware that's total balls.

Power fields (which are canonically stated as being blue) disrupt the molecular cohesion of surrounding matter, making it easier to pass through, or, more to the point, to push your weapon through.

In essence a power field messes with the fundamental structure of whatever you try to touch, changing it temporarily into something with a rigidity more akin into warmed butter

It doesn't "make the weapon harder" at all power sword blades for example could be made of glass although they are normally built to be useable with the field inactive too they don't even really need to sharp, it's just a measure taken to further reduce the resistance offered by the target.

Don't argue science against magic. :angel:

Explain to me how the fields of the Gauntlets of Ultramar have never been penetrated? I've always reasoned that a power sword is sheathed in energy that creates cutting wedge. Likewise a power fist is sheathed in a force field that makes it that much stronger. A power fist can catch a power weapon and snap it because it has its own power field. A power fist can bend power armor (which rather amusingly doesn't have a power field.)

I'm wrong most likely. But I like my idea better. Its going in my fictional universe at least...

Hellebore
11-08-2010, 23:02
Well all you've really done is reverse the effect. The canonical effect of a powerfield is to weaken the target's molecular/atomic bonds, whilst yours is to strengthen the weapon's bonds instead (to make it 'hard like diamond').

Sounds like two competing design schools in the Ad Mech to me. :D

Hellebore

thewizard99
11-08-2010, 23:31
Sounds like two competing design schools in the Ad Mech to me.

And on weekends they fly paper aeroplanes at each other from across the road.

Chem-Dog
11-08-2010, 23:52
The question than is, why does a Powerfist get even more awsome if you add a small Chainsword to it?

Because then it's like a swiss army knife, it can chop, squish and pummel :D


And if an added Chainsword + Powerfist = Chainfist is the ultimate combo, couldn't Calgar use his Powersword (Powersword > Chainsword) with his Powerfist active for a Powersword + Powerfist = Powerswordfist super-combo? Or is that too much awsomeness for even the Lord of Macragge? And why hasn't anyone reverse-engineered Chainfists into Sword-shaped Chainpowerswords?

It's entirely possible, of course the next step is to replace the teeth/blades on the Chainpowerswords with FISTS, a single strike from this mighty weapon (I'm calling it the Chainpowerfistsword) is like being punched by a hundred Marneus Calgars, unfortunate if you happen to be, for example, a hundred Avatars >.<

Of course, this is if we ignore the fact that this guy (http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/catalog/productDetail.jsp?catId=cat440279a&prodId=prod1101906) already carries a Chainpowersword :rolleyes:


And on weekends they fly paper aeroplanes at each other from across the road.

And crush them with a combination of Fist + Awesomness?

Lord_Crull
11-08-2010, 23:53
Explain to me how the fields of the Gauntlets of Ultramar have never been penetrated? .

I recall it was the casing that had never been penetrated by the Adeptus Mechanicus, not the power fields. I assume that Calgar can turn the fields off if he wishes.

thewizard99
12-08-2010, 00:00
and crush them with a combination of fist + awesomness?

exactly! Awesomesauce!

theunwantedbeing
12-08-2010, 00:12
As one would note in his rules Calgar has a power sword in addition to his Fists. He had a sheathed sword on his model. Now how would he use that in battle effectivly? The handle looks too small to be effectivly grasped by his fists. How would one handle a sword with power fists?

Presumably he get's a suitable nearby person to weild the thing for him and he yells out commands somewhat like you do during a pokemon battle.

thewizard99
12-08-2010, 00:24
presumably he get's a suitable nearby person to weild the thing for him and he yells out commands somewhat like you do during a pokemon battle.

space marine i choose you!!!!

Space marine use your slash attack!!!

Col. Tartleton
12-08-2010, 00:25
I recall it was the casing that had never been penetrated by the Adeptus Mechanicus, not the power fields. I assume that Calgar can turn the fields off if he wishes.

You're right I must have misread it. Oh well. My idea is cooler.

Das Lightsabers are for ze wimpy elf vimmen. Der Spehss Mahreens usen ze bluntest trauma to make for ze bigger explosion possible.

madprophet
12-08-2010, 02:17
He is that bad-ass he hold it in his ASS CHEEKS
As amusing as this image is, I think not :p


And thus comes the image of Calgar prancing around like a little girl in a feild of flowers....la die da die da!!!!!

Well, SOMEONE has to do it!
- King Arthur to Lancelot on why the Knights of the Round Table are gathering flowers to go a-maying with..., Camelot

Seriously though, think the sword and gauntlets are probably designed to work together - the sword plugging into a socked in the gauntlets somewhere. Calgar's sword is not your off the rack weapon you can pick up in the Marine section of your local Imperial-Mart, it's a specially crafted masterpiece:chrome:

Askil the Undecided
12-08-2010, 09:32
It might be a traditional leader's weapon from before the Gauntlets were recovered?

Iuris
12-08-2010, 09:43
I recall it was the casing that had never been penetrated by the Adeptus Mechanicus, not the power fields. I assume that Calgar can turn the fields off if he wishes.

Or maybe the casing has never been scratched, but the screws holding it together unscrew just fine :)

Hunger
12-08-2010, 10:00
How do you beat Ultramar's greatest warrior in single combat? Use a long stick to switch off his powerfists...


At which point he draws his sword....

Hehe, I think together Chem-Dog and I have gotten to the root of the original question.

LexxBomb
12-08-2010, 12:22
It should just be that he has the sword because it is a mark of position. All Space Marine Sergents and commanders have a power sword on them fluff wise even if they have other war gear as well.

Kage2020
12-08-2010, 14:33
Well, that last would suit the 40k flavour a great deal in that it's a good answer for the material in front of everyone, but at the same time? The useful thing about swords in combat is that, when they're drawn, they're not in the way. When they're stuck in the scabbard one imagines that the tripping and annoying just-getting-in-your-way hazard will be more than a little bothersome. :D

Kage

FrankieKhainor
12-08-2010, 14:50
"Fibre bundles and servos in the gauntlet allow the Marine to manipulate objects with the greatest of care as if he were using his own hand. The warrior can delicately pick up a glass or crush a skull with ease."

On the way down to the assault in calgar's thunderhawk.

"More wine, sir?"
Calgar takes the glass in his powerfist. Accidentally squeezes Bolter trigger, shattering some bottles of fine wine.

I think he juggles the sword in battle. If he's lucky, he'll throw it into a hell talon whilst punching a daemon prince.

Kallas
12-08-2010, 15:06
He holds it in his teeth pirate style of course...

(There's a spring release mechanism in scabbard to get it there too)

thewizard99
12-08-2010, 15:08
He holds it in his teeth pirate style of course...

(There's a spring release mechanism in scabbard to get it there too)

Well he does have the eye patch!

808thMyrmidons
12-08-2010, 20:26
calgars head looks like a bolt that came loose out the top of his armor and you're wondering how he draws his sword? i wanna know how he gets his f**kin helmet on without crushing his skull like a grape.

thewizard99
12-08-2010, 23:17
calgars head looks like a bolt that came loose out the top of his armor and you're wondering how he draws his sword? i wanna know how he gets his f**kin helmet on without crushing his skull like a grape.

He doesnt use his hand, he toe kicks it like a football and lands it on his head.

Imperialis_Dominatus
13-08-2010, 00:51
My guess is that his sword isn't actually represented on the field. The power weapon aspect is just him poking people in the eye.


Well they never use them, they become shrivvled up. thus pointless and frownd upon by them.

I certainly would frown upon mine if they shriveled up.

Chem-Dog
13-08-2010, 01:56
It might be a traditional leader's weapon from before the Gauntlets were recovered?

A horribly sensible and perfectly feasable answer from Askil, damn him!


Hehe, I think together Chem-Dog and I have gotten to the root of the original question.

Yay what do we win?


calgars head looks like a bolt that came loose out the top of his armor and you're wondering how he draws his sword? i wanna know how he gets his f**kin helmet on without crushing his skull like a grape.

He tried it once, but he's so hard the HELMET crushed like a grape!
He is now forced to fight entire battles, nay campaigns, nay WARS whilst holding his breath.
The new rumoured Clagar model WILL be wearing a helmet crafted from an Avatar's head...
Complete with Swarmlord dents in it.

Corax
13-08-2010, 07:55
Meh. I think you guys have got it all wrong. Calgar doesn't use that sword to fight, he uses it to open his mail. Chapter Masters get a lot of correspondence, you know; being the CO of a whole army generates a motherlode of paperwork!

thewizard99
13-08-2010, 11:45
Surly he has one of the sisters of battle as a secretary, shame they cant get it on, him being celibate and what not.

Hunger
13-08-2010, 11:48
Yay what do we win?

*looks hopeful*

Cash prize?




Meh. I think you guys have got it all wrong. Calgar doesn't use that sword to fight, he uses it to open his mail. Chapter Masters get a lot of correspondence, you know; being the CO of a whole army generates a motherlode of paperwork!

Haha, brilliant - a letter blade. I like to think he receives his orders in a sealed envelope, WWII style. In the heat of battle he's there, fumbling around with the gauntlets, trying to grip the thin envelope with his massive armoured fingers. He tries to put one foot on it and tear it open, then grips it in his armpit and scratches it with his fingertips, then he clamps it in his teeth and shakes his head like a dog, but he can't do it.

Tired and frustrated, he passes the envelope to his assistant, just as waves of enemy troopers storm over the trench lines. The assistant deftly rips it open to reveal a note, typed in Courier New font, that reads "Fall back. STOP. Situation hopeless. STOP. Praise the Emperor. STOP."

thewizard99
13-08-2010, 11:58
Haha, brilliant - a letter blade. I like to think he receives his orders in a sealed envelope, WWII style. In the heat of battle he's there, fumbling around with the gauntlets, trying to grip the thin envelope with his massive armoured fingers. He tries to put one foot on it and tear it open, then grips it in his armpit and scratches it with his fingertips, then he clamps it in his teeth and shakes his head like a dog, but he can't do it.

Tired and frustrated, he passes the envelope to his assistant, just as waves of enemy troopers storm over the trench lines. The assistant deftly rips it open to reveal a note, typed in Courier New font, that reads "Fall back. STOP. Situation hopeless. STOP. Praise the Emperor. STOP."

that whole thing just made me almost **** my self with laughter.

cant bloody breath now

Chem-Dog
14-08-2010, 23:04
Cash prize?
supplied by the OP? Nice! :cool:






Haha, brilliant - a letter blade. I like to think he receives his orders in a sealed envelope, WWII style. In the heat of battle he's there, fumbling around with the gauntlets, trying to grip the thin envelope with his massive armoured fingers. He tries to put one foot on it and tear it open, then grips it in his armpit and scratches it with his fingertips, then he clamps it in his teeth and shakes his head like a dog, but he can't do it.

Tired and frustrated, he passes the envelope to his assistant, just as waves of enemy troopers storm over the trench lines. The assistant deftly rips it open to reveal a note, typed in Courier New font, that reads "Fall back. STOP. Situation hopeless. STOP. Praise the Emperor. STOP."

Of course, if old Cally were busting heads instead of doing a Mr Bean impression, the situation wouldn't have been hopeless ;):D