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The_Admiral_V77H
01-09-2010, 06:56
This is my army's fluff... please read and enjoy. If you have any comments I would be happy to hear them. :) this is quite long though, so, please, bear with it


Typhus IX: Typhus IX is a small Ocean World in the north eastern sector of the galaxy near the Ghoul stars and Hammeront. It has many fierce tempests on its surface and the only landmasses are small patches of volcanic rock jutting out of the ocean and the odd island not submerged beneath the waves.
Most of these Islands have the planets only mining operations on the planet, due to the islands being formed from an underwater volcano of immense size they are rich in volcanic rock, granite, iron, and pretty much any form of naturally occurring metal or mineral known to the glorious Imperium of Man. Including, amazingly enough, a special type of metal that was thought to only occur on a remote asteroid on the border of the Halo Stars. This rock is incredibly hard and is physically tolerant to an immense degree.
Some arcane ruins have been found on the ocean floor by explorator teams, over 17 Kilometers beneath the surface. An archaeo technologicae has been called in to investigate and Inquisitor Lord Vyastan has been notified…
The inhabitants were forgotten long ago by the Imperium and have lived pretty much alone, along with the few ‘nearby’ planets like Hammeront, which is only about one weeks’ warp travel away.
There are a few Relics from the Dark Age of Technology: Great, ocean crossing, City-Ships, which are gargantuan brutes of steel and power. Their unique design is Pre-Heresy and they are equipped with massive engines and cannons; equipment which is beyond the production capabilities of the modern Imperium. Each of the City-Ships are governed by a council of techno-magi and a representative from the Citizenry and the High Admiral of the fleet of that city-ship.

The Vostroyan 77th ‘Hammerers’
They are the personal troops of Inquisitor Lord Vyastan; the sole survivors of a massive conflict on Mephrax II where a heretical rebellion was crushed mercilessly, but at great cost; a Company of Space Marines had been called in to aid the heretics… It is unknown what they were doing defending heretics but a formal investigation will be conducted soon…

It was here on Mephrax II that Vyastan lost his left arm from the elbow down.
Three Regiments partook in the Battle for Mephrax II, one of which was a regiment of the Techpriests’, the Aksarii. In addition to this there was the 77th Vostroyan and the 789th Valhallan who spearheaded the assault on the stronghold of the heretics. As the heretics were supported by Space marines the guard had a hard time getting into the fortress and had to pay in blood for each inch of ground taken. But due to the excellent leadership and tactics of Captain-Banner General Sevastbard the day was won. When the last bastion of the heretics was overrun the heretics detonated the Nucleonic Stack and incinerated themselves, the marines, and most of the warriors that were left.

Due to the exceptional valour and bravery and skill of the surviving Valhallans and Vostroyans, not to mention the battle sisters on planet that survived the crazed destruction of all the holy places of the Emperor before the guard and Askarii arrived, they were all adopted as his personal Army and then took the nickname ‘Hammerers’ after this battle.

They kept the tradition of recruiting troops from their home planet to stay at full strength, as Vyastan recruits some of the best troops the Valhallans and Vostroyans can offer. They also recruit from the places they visit if someone gets tangled up in their affairs and proves themselves.

The Blazing Dawn
The personal Cruiser and Flagship of Vyastan, commanded by Orion; a naval officer Vyastan met while he was still an Inquisitor, and a flying ace. He and Vyastan are firm friends.
The Blazing dawn is a beautiful sight and has destroyed many heretic vessels with its fearsome assortment of weaponry; rivaling that of a space marine battle cruiser.
It has void shields and is as fast as any Black Ship of the Inquisition. It is painted Jet Black, contrary to its name. But it has gold embellishment, hence The Blazing Dawn.

Sevastbard- Captain-Banner General of the Vostroyan 77th ‘Hammerers’
He is calm, calculating, and strong willed. A brilliant tactician he has lost few battles and has beaten the odds more times than readily countable. Due to his extensive campaigns and successes, riddled with near misses, he has been patched up far too many times and so is more machine than man, if only just. He views the Battle Sisters in a bad light; he thinks that they are just a loose collection of fanatical zealots who should leave everyone in peace and go sing a hymn or two.

Manticore tank ‘Taryan’
This manticore has been through hell and back, and has been patched up so many times it has a special place in the heart of the Vostroyan 77th.

Leman Russ Eradicator ‘Baby Hellhammer’
This tank got its nickname from the rounds it fires after serving alongside a super heavy “Hellhammer” class tank. Crewed by Kabanov- a bawdy, foul mouthed, loud, but friendly, person who tells it like it is and is an incredible tank commander.

The Sisters of the Order of the Tome and Brazier
After the destruction of their fortress monastery and most of their order, on Mephrax II they agreed to join Vyastan as his personal troops and to set up a new convent on Vyastan’s newly founded fortress on Typhus IX.

Vyastan’s Fortress
This is Vyastan’s base of operations and his home, along with being the home of his private army. It has a barracks, a church, a naval dockyard, landing pad, vehicle bay, Vyastan’s living quarters and a library. It also has a mess room and common room; it is on a beautiful spot in the middle of one of the ocean segments on a small spur of rock jutting out of the ocean.
(See Picture Included)… this will be coming later... just have to refine and then scan it



Inquisitor Lord Vyastan
Vyastan is an Almathian Inquisitor of the Ordo Hereticus, firmly opposed to change, believing that the Emperor’s plan for His people must be left to unfold as He planned and without the arrogant intervention of those who believed that they understood His will. He is ruthless, vengeful, and prefers blunt tactics; pogroms, purges, orbital bombardments, assaults and the like, but has been known to lead his personal retinue in special missions and with only a little ceremony at conclaves of the Inquisition when required.
Vyastan is stubborn and has an Iron will. He is firm but, unlike some inquisitors, his job is not his entire life (just most of it).

He is frequently quite grim often only offset when on the hunt, persecuting heretics or when drunk from too much rum. Vyastan is also quite taken to grumbling, brooding and plotting and will do so, and talk to himself, under his breath often. Vyastan can also be quite cunning and manipulative. Vyastan is a firm puritan of the Inquisition in that he believes that psychic potential, properly harnessed, is a useful tool and that humanity is destined to, eventually, become psykers. But if not harnessed within the tenets of the Imperium it is Heresy and Witchcraft, for which there can be only one sentence – Immolation, and thereby; death

He was apprenticed under an Inquisitor Trained by Inquisitor Lord Karamazov himself, whose attitudes rubbed off on him, and by extension Vyastan. As an Inquisitor he performed many brave acts and burned many heretics, mutants, and traitors, but none of these deeds compare to his uncovering and destruction of a heresy, with the help of 2 guard regiments and an Askarii regiment, that spanned an entire planet. It was during this conflict that he lost his left arm from the elbow down and earned his rank of Inquisitor Lord.

Upon attaining Inquisitor Lord Rank he was gifted with a sword bearing the mark of the inquisition and his personal seal. His left arm (from the elbow down, to replace the one he lost) was replaced with a bionic one including a built-in scanner and computer. He also carries a highly ornamental bolter given to him by Lord Karamazov upon his ascension to the rank of Inquisitor. It has the inscription ‘There is no such thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt’ He has since modified this bolter with a Stake crossbow attachment. These stakes are blessed and anointed in holy water from a great cathedral and will immolate a heretic if they are shot with one.
Along with this he also has a rangefinder and tactical assessor built into his headgear. It enables a multi-spectral view and thermal imaging along with other useful tactical data.
Vyastan has many assistants and those that serve in his personal staff are listed here:

Crusader ‘Balduin’ from a feudal, pre-gunpowder world, and is skilled with sword and shield. He is honourable and zealous; he also disdains most technology preferring to do things ‘the old fashioned way’.

Acolyte ‘Hamberd’ Vyastan’s apprentice he is almost ready to become an inquisitor in his own right, but until then…

Penitent ‘Diox’ A heretic that reoccurs in Vyastan’s history, he slaughtered many of Vyastan’s friends and most of the emperor fearing population of Mephrax II, in a bloody killing spree many years ago. Un-fortunately, for Diox at least, Vyastan found him and decided to cause immeasurable pain in recompense for the atrocities he committed against him. He is now just a gibbering broken wreck of a man that is being used as a psychic lightning rod.

Warrior 'Hrakad’ an ex Imperial guardsman he saved Vyastan’s life when an assassin tried to assassinate him, he was then instantly recruited into Vyastan’s personal retinue. He is incredibly lucky.

Tech priest (Gun Servitor)’Ivan’ He is meticulous and often mutters technical gibberish but is quite human for a tech-priest, although he has a slightly unhinged state of mind.
He has slaved a design he created to his control- a plasma cannon weapon platform which is bipedal and can cross terrain without difficulty and, obviously, walks around making it easy to deploy. He also monitors Vyastan’s equipment and is the master of the forge for Vyastan’s fortress.

Churgeon ‘Isabelle’ Isabelle is Vyastan’s personal medicae and looks after him and his health. She loves him, and he her, but neither realize the other does. She accompanies him on the battlefield to ensure that her oath that she swore to him: ‘to never let him die first, not unless she said so’ wouldn’t break early.

Vostroyan 77th and Vyastan’s Fluff

Ville
01-09-2010, 17:56
Wow, that sounds more like a setting to a whole rpg campaign! Nicely written fluff there, I hope I could someday present a similar description of my army too.:)

Maybe you could tell briefly how Vyastan came to be an Inquisitor in the first place. What sort of incidents made him choose the way of the Puritan and what is his ultimate goal for his career?

Vyastan also seems to have many attributes: prefers blunt tactics but special missions as well, is firm but relaxed too sometimes, stubborn but cunning too. Perhaps his person could use some refining still?

Dastardly Dave
01-09-2010, 23:13
Nice fluff. You've clearly thought about this a lot, and your hard work shows. Well done.

If you're looking for background on your Inquisitor (specifically Acolyte stage and character development) or even if you aren't, have you considered Dark Heresy? It seems like something you'd enjoy if you like writing fluff. I'm running a campaign online right now: ( http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/312212.page ) so if you want to join our group just shoot me a PM here or on Dakka and I'll get you into the group.

Askil the Undecided
01-09-2010, 23:19
Typhus IX, Sub-Sector ? Sector ? Ultima Segmentum, also Hammeront (being almost precisely the topographic centre of Ultima segmentum) is nowhere near the ghoul stars (on the northern border) as such somewhere cannot be "near" to both

Don't mix numbers into large blocks of text it generally just looks a bit childish.

Alamathans don't take radical bunt action it's almost precisely what they deplore, also Karamazov wouldn't have raised such a "soft" acolyte to Inquisitorial rank.

Don't make fan-made characters interact with canon-established characters like Karamazov it's a big canon faux pas.

Why does Vyastan's base have so much military hardware? How/where did he get it? After all "there is a war on you know."

An Inquisitor Lord doesn't cease to be an Inqusitor, it's just an Inquisitor other Inquisitors have agreed to defer to.

Acolyte Hamberd has less fluff than the gun servitor.

Why did Vostroyans get deployed a full segmentum away from their home planet when local regiments (Valhallans or even Mordians and Catachans for the next closest famous regiments) could have been used?

Why did the regiment call itself "The Hammerers?" What in particular did they hammer?

Don't get the wrong impression I do like what you've written very much, I'm looking for these problems so you can eliminate them.

The_Admiral_V77H
02-09-2010, 06:26
vyastan is supposed to be like two things at once, in a mix of sorts. He has gone on small missions when the situation required it
and thanks Ville.
and Askil
it is meant to describe it as being between hammeront and the approximate area of the goul stars..
As an inquisitor Vyastan can just ask for the tech and pretty much just get it... to some extent
they hammered a heretic uprising, with many losses. hence 'Hammerers'
working on hamberds fluff but havent though of much yet.
by the way Karamazov seems to be the more blunt type...
but thanks for what you pointed out... i will refine the story some more and add to it.
again thanks to both of you for the input.

AndrewGPaul
02-09-2010, 08:06
Don't mix numbers into large blocks of text it generally just looks a bit childish.

The rule of thumb as I understand it is to write numbers less than 13 as words, and numbers greater than twelve as digits. There are exceptions - round numbers such as "one hundred", "three thousand", etc, tend to look better as words.


Don't make fan-made characters interact with canon-established characters like Karamazov it's a big canon faux pas.

I never understood why people get so upset about that. Presumably these famous people interact with thousands of unnamed others. The_Admiral_V77H has simply given one of those a name. :) On the other hand, what's the point? Does being Karamazov's apprentice's apprentice really matter, or are you just name-dropping?

"It has the inscription ‘There is no such thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt’ He has since modified this bolter with a Stake crossbow attachment. These stakes are blessed and anointed in holy water from a great cathedral and will immolate a heretic if they are shot with one. "

Firstly, that quote you've cribbed from the rulebook. Is it attributed to anyone and if so, why is your Inquisitor using it on his blade? I'm not saying that it shouldn't be there, just that you might want to think about it a bit more; perhaps he inherited the sword from its former owner, who originally engraved it. Secondly, a holy stake-launcher? Really? Why not just have a blessed masterwork boltgun combi-flamer? The whole "stake through the heart" thing doesn't really fit into the 40K mythos - there's a distinct lack of vampires, for one thing. :)

Not sure about the cool spaceship either. It's not like it'll have any effect on your games, so why give him something that seems so unlikely. Inquisitors as a rule don't get given custom cruisers to play with. It smacks somewhat of Mary Sue-ism. Yes, Inquisitors can requisition supplies and men, but if they end up with two personal Imperial Guard regiments and a starship of their own, various members of other Imperial institutions might decide to take action of their own. For example, with that much personal power, he could carve out a small fiefdom of his own on the fringes of Imperial space - the Ordo Hereticus may well have things to say about that. Depending on who he's noised up in the past, it's also possible that he could be the target of some "friendly fire" from the Navy; "Oh, that unidentified ship which entered the system without responding to communications was owned by a friend of yours, Inquisitor? So sorry about that. We thought it was Chaos renegades again, and blew it up. Our mistake. The officers involved will of course be reprimanded. We went to the effort of collecting the bridge crew's remains. They're in this small jar, here." The regiments under his command might find themselves unaccoutnably short of munitions because they're at the bottom of the Munitorum's supply priority.

Finally, you should take into account your likely opponents. What armies will you be fighting against most often. No point making him a member of the Ordo Malleus if you're always fighting Orks, for example. That way, you can tie the actions of your army on the tabletop into their story.

Askil the Undecided
02-09-2010, 18:57
The rule of thumb as I understand it is to write numbers less than 13 as words, and numbers greater than twelve as digits. There are exceptions - round numbers such as "one hundred", "three thousand", etc, tend to look better as words.

Yes, that was what I was referring to, if not such specific terms.


I never understood why people get so upset about that. Presumably these famous people interact with thousands of unnamed others. The_Admiral_V77H has simply given one of those a name. :) On the other hand, what's the point? Does being Karamazov's apprentice's apprentice really matter, or are you just name-dropping?


It just tends to be a substitute for, rather than a genuine asset to, player-written character fluff. It sometimes is used as an excuse for lazy writing, I stress however this does not seem to be one of these cases.


"It has the inscription ‘There is no such thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt’ He has since modified this bolter with a Stake crossbow attachment. These stakes are blessed and anointed in holy water from a great cathedral and will immolate a heretic if they are shot with one. "

Firstly, that quote you've cribbed from the rulebook. Is it attributed to anyone and if so, why is your Inquisitor using it on his blade? I'm not saying that it shouldn't be there, just that you might want to think about it a bit more; perhaps he inherited the sword from its former owner, who originally engraved it. Secondly, a holy stake-launcher? Really? Why not just have a blessed masterwork boltgun combi-flamer? The whole "stake through the heart" thing doesn't really fit into the 40K mythos - there's a distinct lack of vampires, for one thing. :)

As for the quote it turns up in DoW (said by Mordecai Toth) so it might just be a oft-repeated maxim. I agree however, if the stake crossbow is there for any reason other that due to what is on the model lose it, it's nonsensical and a bit too "film geek" even for 40k.


Not sure about the cool spaceship either. It's not like it'll have any effect on your games, so why give him something that seems so unlikely. Inquisitors as a rule don't get given custom cruisers to play with. It smacks somewhat of Mary Sue-ism. Yes, Inquisitors can requisition supplies and men, but if they end up with two personal Imperial Guard regiments and a starship of their own, various members of other Imperial institutions might decide to take action of their own. For example, with that much personal power, he could carve out a small fiefdom of his own on the fringes of Imperial space - the Ordo Hereticus may well have things to say about that. Depending on who he's noised up in the past, it's also possible that he could be the target of some "friendly fire" from the Navy; "Oh, that unidentified ship which entered the system without responding to communications was owned by a friend of yours, Inquisitor? So sorry about that. We thought it was Chaos renegades again, and blew it up. Our mistake. The officers involved will of course be reprimanded. We went to the effort of collecting the bridge crew's remains. They're in this small jar, here." The regiments under his command might find themselves unaccoutnably short of munitions because they're at the bottom of the Munitorum's supply priority.

I'm with you on this, it's really not a good enough justification to say "he's an Inquisitor" and write off all the difficulties, complexities and political complications of attaining their equipment.


Finally, you should take into account your likely opponents. What armies will you be fighting against most often. No point making him a member of the Ordo Malleus if you're always fighting Orks, for example. That way, you can tie the actions of your army on the tabletop into their story.

This isn't such a problem, let us not forget that the Malleus fights Chaos (which can be anywhere) and that their true goal is the monitoring and internal policing of the Inquisition in the pursuit of that end they could come across all kinds of trouble.

For example enemies in the Inquisition could covertly infiltrate his warp transport and radically redirect Vyastan into an Ork infested system inside the newest expansion sphere of the Tau Empire smack bang in the path of a Tyranid hive fleet in order to get him safely out of the way.

AndrewGPaul
02-09-2010, 20:28
This isn't such a problem, let us not forget that the Malleus fights Chaos (which can be anywhere) and that their true goal is the monitoring and internal policing of the Inquisition in the pursuit of that end they could come across all kinds of trouble.

For example enemies in the Inquisition could covertly infiltrate his warp transport and radically redirect Vyastan into an Ork infested system inside the newest expansion sphere of the Tau Empire smack bang in the path of a Tyranid hive fleet in order to get him safely out of the way.

The suggestion to write the background based on the opponents isn't so much for "fluffiness", but because it makes the background seem more "organic". I keep reading army backgrounds here that are all about what the force did, where they came from, not what they're doing now. Look at the GW fluff; stuff like Ghazgkull's ongoing feud with Yarrick (including their battle on Golgotha), and the campaign at Piscina V leading up to 3rd Armageddon. All of that arose from games the designers played, which they then incorporated into the story.

The_Admiral_V77H
04-09-2010, 08:05
The stake crossbow in the witch hunters book immolates psykers/heretics and besides it looks pretty good on the bottom of a bolter when converted well
and Vyastan is of the Ordo hereticus
But thank you all for your opinions and ideas for me to touch up on.

eyescrossed
04-09-2010, 08:08
Reading this has inspired me to start writing the fluff for my own army.

Thanks for the inspiration :)

madd0ct0r
04-09-2010, 22:02
yeah,the pysker-pyro-stake-crossbow is actually a legitimate piece of kit.

As background fluff goes, it's not bad.

The_Admiral_V77H
05-09-2010, 10:14
Reading this has inspired me to start writing the fluff for my own army.

Thanks for the inspiration :)
great, hope to read it soon

t-tauri
05-09-2010, 17:34
Moved to stories and art.

eyescrossed
07-09-2010, 17:08
Where it undoubtedly gets absolutely no posts.

The_Admiral_V77H
13-09-2010, 08:03
Where it undoubtedly gets absolutely no posts.

true... so very true

eyescrossed
13-09-2010, 09:16
Seriously, would it do so much harm to keep it in 40k Background that it ends the world?

The_Admiral_V77H
14-09-2010, 07:14
on the plus side it doesnt get as many people raging in that mainly the more story inclined will be viewing and thereby reading it not assesing it. :)

eyescrossed
16-09-2010, 23:55
Or just going to the topic and leaving it if it doesn't interest them.

The views have barely gone up since it got moved. Your thread is dead, courtesy of t-tauri :p

AD YEAH
19-09-2010, 00:49
like it man (:
lots of time i can see ;)