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Aldarionn
06-09-2010, 04:46
I composed this on a whim today. I was struck with the urge to write about the Space Marines and this just kinda composed itself. I haven't written poetry since highschool like 7+ years ago, so I have no idea how good this is. Let me know what you think.

The night sky burns iridescently as drop pods scream
through the atmosphere, hulls igniting incandescently with the fires of purity.
The mightiest of the Imperium of man sheltered by ceramite meteors,
streaming contrails from on high, delivering hope to those dying in droves beneath
to unspoken horrors in an unending torrent of blasphemous rage.

Scorched earth shatters on impact and assault ramps unfold,
Giants of legend shielded by faith in the Emperors grace emerge
with death-spitting Bolters in hand and an unrelenting determination to purge
the planet of the unclean.

Once brothers, lead to rebel by unholy Gods now traitors to all they once knew
twisted by the stigma of mutation, their souls lead astray
where corruption and decay are the battle doctrines by which they fight
those that seek to preserve the Emperors rule by the might of unshakable faith.

We are the Space Marines
We fight because there is nothing but war
Our campaigns span the galaxy but our numbers are
minuscule in comparison to the legions of damned souls
we must destroy to protect our own from the unholy.

We are the Space Marines
We fight because nobody else can withstand
the terrible forces that burn and destroy the land
which our spilled blood has sanctified in the name of the Emperor of Man

We are the Space Marines
We fight to protect humanity
from the evil and depravity
of the hopeless fallen

We are the Space Marines
And we know no fear

PaddyF
06-09-2010, 06:13
There was a Space Marine called Jim,
Who unfortuatly was very dim,
He tried to rocket jump,
And came back to earth with a thump,
Unsuprisingly there was no Dreadnaught for him.

Shadowlance
06-09-2010, 07:33
I composed this on a whim today. I was struck with the urge to write about the Space Marines and this just kinda composed itself. I haven't written poetry since highschool like 7+ years ago, so I have no idea how good this is. Let me know what you think.

The night sky burns iridescently as drop pods scream
through the atmosphere, hulls igniting incandescently with the fires of purity.
The mightiest of the Imperium of man sheltered by ceramite meteors,
streaming contrails from on high, delivering hope to those dying in droves beneath
to unspoken horrors in an unending torrent of blasphemous rage.

Scorched earth shatters on impact and assault ramps unfold,
Giants of legend shielded by faith in the Emperors grace emerge
with death-spitting Bolters in hand and an unrelenting determination to purge
the planet of the unclean.

Once brothers, lead to rebel by unholy Gods now traitors to all they once knew
twisted by the stigma of mutation, their souls lead astray
where corruption and decay are the battle doctrines by which they fight
those that seek to preserve the Emperors rule by the might of unshakable faith.

We are the Space Marines
We fight because there is nothing but war
Our campaigns span the galaxy but our numbers are
minuscule in comparison to the legions of damned souls
we must destroy to protect our own from the unholy.

We are the Space Marines
We fight because nobody else can withstand
the terrible forces that burn and destroy the land
which our spilled blood has sanctified in the name of the Emperor of Man

We are the Space Marines
We fight to protect humanity
from the evil and depravity
of the hopeless fallen

We are the Space Marines
And we know no fear

Not Bad mate not bad, Definatly better then what I could ever do :p Keep it up man.


There was a Space Marine called Jim,
Who unfortuatly was very dim,
He tried to rocket jump,
And came back to earth with a thump,
Unsuprisingly there was no Dreadnaught for him.

This is different, Ill give you that :D

Shadowlance

Exitas-Acta-Probat
06-09-2010, 20:44
okay the second was a good one:D, but in regard to the op i think all it needs is a little fine tuning in terms of the rhythme, and in places rhyme. read it over and try to find alternate words and/or wording to make it flow better.
the structure and the imagery were exellent though.

if you feel the urge to write more post it! :p

horizon
07-09-2010, 18:33
Poetry good.
Poetry in 40k even better,

Starblade (https://docs.google.com/fileview?id=0B-aXA8fc5AQ8Y2NlZWZiNzctZjNiMS00ZDgzLTljOTAtNzhkYzc4 MmM0N2U0&hl=en)