View Full Version : help with fluff/story

14-12-2010, 21:57
hey there, im thinking of writing some fluff for the new marine chapter im going to be writing, and wondered if anyone has any useful links that i could use as help such as :

system map, for planet names and such to find a suitable homeworld to base them from.

chapter name ideas, be if in the form of a name generator or suggestions.

icon ideas, my chapter is going to be a founding of the imperial fists, but there is only so much you can do with the fist icon, so any suggestions would be great.

my armies colours scheme is main body is iyanden darksun, with mechrite red shoulder pads and backpacks, with occasionally knee pads also mechrite red, boltgun metal heavy drybrush on the bolters/weapons. the army is a very rounded army, has abit of everything , but does have a heavy scout presence, and low land raider presence. i was thinking mayb of having the chapter named after there primarch for example 'sons of ......' or the planet that was there homeworld.

ideas for fluff would they be reasonable?
the chapter is formed from a force of imperial fists( capt,apoth, chaplin,techpriest,librarian all present ,as well as a force of scouts, and about 50 marines aswell as armour) that are left on a planet at a garrison to protect an important industrial facility slighty before the horus heresy occured. when the horus heresy occured the system that the planet my chapter was on is hit by a huge warp storm caused by the chaos occuring. this leaves my chapter stranded ,cutt off and totally unaware of what is happening to the imperium as the storm cutts all ties to anything outside the warpstorm with no ships, or psyker messages being able to be transfered. at the same time there is a huge uprising on the planet as the taint of chaos spreads across the planet, the imperial fists there fighting there for decades to repel the uprising eventually succeeding. believed to be completely left behind by there chapter, and in great need of new troops , they create the new chapter and recruit new conscripts to be made into marines. and thus the new chapter is born. thats just an idea, but is it feasable? any help would be great

14-12-2010, 22:22
If you want a little inspiration with regards to colour schemes of official and unofficial Marine Chapters, you could take a gander at Philip Sibbering's 1,000 Chapters (http://philipsibbering.com/blog/1000-chapters/) project.


14-12-2010, 22:25
oh thanks ! very helpful indeed!


thats colour scheme of my chapter, second founding of imperial fists. not sure of the name yet, but sons of ..... something or other

15-12-2010, 02:30
i really like your background!

as for the name, the could be Sons of Rogal or Sons of Dorn (which is already taken, sadly) since they are an imperial fists successor.

it could be something very different, like Rogal's Swords or The Fists of Dorn (which is a weapon, but hey who'll notice?)

15-12-2010, 06:48
read some imperial fists background amd identify somekey figures andevents in their history. then revisit the fluff you are creating and come up with a name that relates to that background. also take a look at what their successors have been named and that should help you there.

I'm calling my IF successors knights of the sword and they are based on a world callled martiallus whose main export is all sorts of bladed weapons :)

and your fluff seems reasonable, just make sure that the fluff as it develops should only be loosely associated with established lore as the chapter has been cut off by warp storms for so long. keep some great crusade era elements in your story.

18-12-2010, 20:23
thanks very much for the help you guys, i like the name The Fists of Dorn and Rogals Swords , both sound good, and yeah il have to read some the IF background fluff, any idea where i can get this from?

18-12-2010, 20:26
Well, "Rogal's Spear"(s) might be more thematically appropriate given the weapon mentioned in Soul Drinkers, but also subject to far more puerile humour. :D


18-12-2010, 20:34
i cant have that..... i would have rewrite the rules for my chapter that gives them the special attack ' spear' your marine has the option to diving spear the enermy instead of making normal attack, this is a str 10 auto hitting attack ^-^

18-12-2010, 20:53
LOL. Then fair enough. The puerile humour alone would have put me off. :D


18-12-2010, 21:31
ok, well i cant find any fluff or stories about the 7th company of the IF so im choosing them to be founding chapter simply because 7 is my lucky number no other reason than that. the captain(and now chapter master) is name Captain/force commander Kalstrum, librarian/cheif librarian Islaydor, chaplin/ high chaplain Raki, apthacary/chief apothocary Grantis, all survived the conflicts of the chaos uprising and became chief of there chosen walks amungst the chapter. i just need a planet , preferably a forge world, that they could call home which could of been cutt off from the rest of the IF during the horus heresy, or should i pick a system, and mayb make the planet name up?

19-12-2010, 04:21
Make up the names. Forge worlds are direct fiefdoms of the Adeptus Mechanicus and they very rarely suffer any interference on their worlds.

Make up a hive world that has its industry geared for war and serves as the fortress monastery of the chapter as well. The monastery could be based on the moon or something or the Chapter could have a couple ships in orbit that serve as the same.

The minimum high level officers you'd need if you wanted to flesh out the chapter would be --

1. Chapter Master/Force Commander
2. High Chaplain/Master of Sanctity/Reclusiarch (The Reclusiarch and Master of Sanctity can be two different Astartes)
3. Chief Librarian/High Librarian
4. High Apothecary/Senior Apothecary
5. Master of the Forge

Of course you don't have to go with these designations at all, you could choose other titles for them but that's not really required. I call the Chapter Master of my IF successor chapter the Sword-Master and the captains are called Sword-Captains /shrug. Just figure something out if you'd like.

19-12-2010, 09:28
a name suggestion, maybe seeing as they fought so long and hard to keep the light of the emperor shinning in the darkness of chaos.

So maybe something like Beacons of Dorn or Knights of the Light

Or maybe they would be more preoccupied with their abandonment by the rest of the chapter, so maybe the Forgotten Sons of Rogal, or the Lost 500, because u said thats how many were left behind

Garven Dreis
19-12-2010, 09:35
Just randomly tossing up ideas, but you could call them the Vanguard of Dorn, seeing as they were left to their own devices for such a long period of time. You could also raise questions about their loyalty (as with all good mysterious chapters...) due to the long-term exposure to the taint of Chaos. The symbol could be a shield with a Fist in it.

19-12-2010, 12:21
great idea guys thanks very much. so il add a master of the forge who will be named tephron. and i like the idea of a hive world that has large weapons/armor/millitary industry output on the planet (kind of like ververnhive is in it one of the gaunts ghosts novels) as my new chapter was already based on the this planet/system before the horus heresy companies were of a much larger size weren't they? i can get away with claiming 500 men were left to defend the planet/system? as well as mayb 3 strike cruisers, or mayb even a battle barge? i was thinking mayb the name Shields of dorn? as they were defenders for such a long time against the uprising, what do you guys think?

19-12-2010, 12:42
so the IFs are in the Gothic sector on the edge of it, near to where the warp storm Emperors wrath is, in a system called Demaxus(made up) a small system consisting of 8 planets, 2 hive planets, 2 death worlds and other 4 gas planets. only the hive planet that the IFs are on has any moons, of which it has 4, 3 of these are defencive placements , the last is a space port. the hive world that becomes the new chapters homeworld will be named Dorantis prime, with the moons being named dorantis alpha , beta, gamma and omega. there were other moons in the system but they were destroyed in the warp storm and now form a large astoroid belt that encircles the system.

19-12-2010, 20:45
For names and background try to stick to a theme for your Chapter. Is there any historical or fiction that inspired you to create you Chapter? Than use Ideas from that. If not than there must be something that you find insperational. Use the names (or slight alterations) of places for your planets or characters.

Just for an example, lets use Verdun. You can have the planet Douaumont with the hive city of Vaux. Your chacters could be the Chapter Master Driant who dies bravely fighting off the Chaos hordes and the Commander Raynal who holds out against horrible odds.

Just some thoughts. Good luck with your writing.

25-12-2010, 15:24
im keeping with the names ive come up with so far. il try writing up some fluff or a short story on the creation of the chapter. il try get some pics up of the models ive painted so far aswell, they arent anything special at all as im really not much of a painter, but would be nice to know if the colour scheme ive chosen goes ok.

25-12-2010, 19:29
Aye, I agree with everything above. The only thing I'd suggest is not have "Dorn" or "Fists" in the chapter name. Even for the IF successors we're sure about, only Crimson Fists and Hammers of Dorn have the obvious connection in the name. Black Templar, Soul Drinkers, Executioners, Iron Knights are all removed somehow.

A useful way I think of creating a Chapter is to settle on one defining characteristic for them to begin with and flesh it out from there. IE specific mutation in the geneseed? defining tradition? voodoo marines? aztec marines?

For marines, the colors of their wargear are often very important and symbolic. Your chapter's got standard IF yellow on one hand - their heritage. But why all the red? what does it stand for? How does it tie into their chapter mythology/philosophy? IE. blood/honor/famous hero etc etc

26-12-2010, 12:44
Personally I would stay away from using the name of a Primarch in any chapter name, if for nothing more than them thinking they are blessed by the Primarch more than the original legion.
I understand the overall story of a cutoff company becoming independant but more WHY would they? Companies regular split of to different operations across the universe, so one deciding to abandon their chapter oaths, especially of the Extremely stubborn Imperial Fists seems a Stretch.

Also HOW would they create more troops? the equipment needed to grow new astartes organs are in the chapter-monastaries, and since they arent with the Imperial Fists, so they wouldnt have access anymore.

If you make a believable reason why they would quit their (very) Conservative chapter, somehow explain how they make new organs without equipment, and produce Astartes equipment(local Mechanicum manufacturer?) , you pretty much have it covered.

26-12-2010, 12:58
company (heresy-era size) gets split off and cut off by warp storms. they are in a region of space with a local mechanicus world and emerging industrial worlds and some suitable recruitment worlds... so on...

in the macharius crusade book by bell of lost souls that's somewhat what the authors did with a couple space marine chapters. granted i am not conversant enough with the story of the macharian crusade to say how closely the authors stuck to that lore.

26-12-2010, 14:03
Yes but why would they remove themselves from the chapter rather than simply make a local branch of the legion? This is even more of a problem as they would be BEFORE the Second Founding, so they actual concept would be making them more or less renegades, as they are sealed off from the Imperium, protecting their own planet along who whatever Soldiers, Mechanicus and whatever, then after its over they find the Emperor placed into the Golden Throne, the Primarchs dead or missing, and the Imperium controlled by fanatics rather than the reason-minded people it was before.

Personally I say you have a better story for renegades than loyalists, as warpstorms are often how many planets fall to chaos or orks, when they are separated from the Imperium they dont have the resources or reinforcements, while orks can use anything and everything to reproduce weapons and dont need help making more orks.
Its generally better to made your own chapter from scratch rather than create one based of something like a lost Branch of So-and-So.

27-12-2010, 06:41
ok i see the point about not naming it so closer to dorn in anyway, il have to come up with a new chapter name. and as regards to how to recreate organs and SM armour and such. well the hive world they are on im going to tie in with it being a manufactorer/developer new grade of SM armour(so after heresy armor would be like mk 5 or 6?) and Weapons. regards to the making of organs, il have to tie it in that the strikes cruisers they are on are all equiped with machinary to recreate oragans and genetically inhance recruits. as it is pre horus heresy there and chapter used to spread widely around systems, losses to chapters may of been great and due to the distance between themselves and there homeworld new recruits would of needed to be formed. sounds crazy but its all i can kinda think of. so they have a way to create new SM's and replace armour/weapons and mobilise a force by using the hive worlds advanced technoloies. as regards to leaving the IF and creating there own chapter. and the red in the armour. im thinking that the chapter decides to go on a sort of 'Blood crusade' due to all the loses to there chapter in the rebelion on the planet. the mark there armour Red as a way to form a blood pact with lost comrades in an oath to avenge there brothers deaths. i could also tie in a reason they split from the chapter as they feel grudged that no help was sent and they had to do it all on there own. obviously they thought communications were getting through but were being ignored. so they form a new chapter. mayb the ' bloodied fists' or blood fists?

27-12-2010, 07:33
Blood Fists sounds like an awesome name for IF chaos renegades or traitor IF successors

27-12-2010, 18:44
and blood drinkers, and flesh tearers dont sound chaosish? mayb fists of vengence

27-12-2010, 21:00
The "Blood Crusade" in the Blood Angels Omnibus was the heretical campaign that the traitor Arkio planned to launch after moving to depose the true chapter master on Baal. "Blood Pact" is also the name of a chaos cult army in the Sabbat worlds. Doesn't bar you using the terms but, in-universe might raise some eyebrows with the Imperium/Blood Angels.

what about something like the "Crusader Lords" or the "Red Death"? Sounds like there's some bad blood with their progenitor IF chapter, so they might go for a slightly more different chapter name.

28-12-2010, 05:19
the Clenched Fists?

the Ulstermen?

The Lost Redoubt?

28-12-2010, 05:34
"Righteous Fists" could be an interesting reference to the Boxer Rebels: a semi-mystical xenophobic society who believed (wrongly) that their ancient fighting techniques would render them immune to modern weapons. omg, so 40K

28-12-2010, 07:10
yeah a know the blood pact are a legion of chaos cultists. but alot of SMs take blood pacts. doesnt mean they are chaos cultists. how about if i change that wording, to 'a Vengence Oath' or something similar. and instead of a blood crusade, how about a holy crusade to cleanse and burn the heretics that caused so much termoil to both the planet and to thier fallen brother marines. but yeah, im ok with the fluff so to speak, got the starting bits to go on, i just need a name for the chapter

29-12-2010, 00:40
How about "Screaming Fists"? Led by Commader Armitage.

Science fiction fans will probably get the reference. ;)

29-12-2010, 18:52
Astartes makes Oaths, but not Blood Pacts. That sort of behavior is considered heretical, especially the Sabbat Worlds, with ACTUAL Legions of soldiers that made a Blood Pact with the leader and were named as such.

I think you should simply make them a 3rd founding chapter, and using any various not using "Blood", but for the above mentioned reason, and because "Blood" is used pretty much exclusively by Blood Angels successors.

Brazen Claws, Iron Hands, Crimsons Fists, etc. These names show both the Strength of Arm, and the body of the wielder, making them good names. Or you could go and name them the "Screaming Eagles" or Crimson Blades.
As for the Blood Drinkers and Flesh Tearers, their names actually speak about the fact that astartes eat the enemy of the dead for information, thanks to 2 organs, and is one of the more ghastly abilities.

30-12-2010, 03:25
Oh, I thought you were using the IF shoulder pad.

The OathSworn?

The Kindred?

The Brothers of Steel/Iron/Metal/Stone ect

30-12-2010, 07:04
the oath bearers? mayb

Garven Dreis
30-12-2010, 07:47
Yes but why would they remove themselves from the chapter rather than simply make a local branch of the legion?
Its generally better to made your own chapter from scratch rather than create one based of something like a lost Branch of So-and-So.

Warp storms, who knows? Perhaps the flow of time was so distorted that they grew into their own faction over a long period of time. The possibilities here are endless. And I'd also object to the notion that it's 'better' to not base a Chapter (Or Warband) off an existing Chapter, Warband or Legion. Does this mean a DIY Chapter is better than all the Chaos Legion armies? Some people might happen to like the existing fluff, and add their own little spin on it.

31-12-2010, 15:55
Existing warbands splitting off is perfectly fine, as thats what happens. Orks, the Traitor Legions, Dark Eldar, and others regularly split off. the modern Traitor legions arent organised like a military but rather hundreds of warbands like the "Slaughters of Skalanthax" are a World Eaters warband.

Astartes are different because they are a professional military force, so any unauthorised splits would be basically desertion, and since pretty much the only way to have a split off chapter would be if the original became too large. Thats almost impossible with need for replacement of dead astartes, as well as the 5+ year recruitment time, possibility of failure, and need for strong recruits, its stressful.
Chapters dont have cookie-cutter companies, where every company is the same, but rather each company is separated and earning different honours across the Imperium. One of the key things to keep the different companies together is officers, comraderie, and regular reaffirmation of their origins, like home planet.
As for not liking old astartes having fictional splits, I think its because you can easily create a new chapter, but if you made some addon fiction to something well known you have to be more detailed, like explain what that chapter has been doing for the past 10000 year, are they still loyalists, why didnt they rejoin their legion/chapter like good little astartes?

Again I think this works much better to say a company of Imperial Fists turned traitor, or became renegades, rather than a Pre-Successor as their are too many details to compose rather than just making something new.

02-01-2011, 15:11
ok so yeah regards to the fluff side of it, why would a loyalist chapter such as IF , have a group that breaks from there mother chapter. well firstly, my chapter arent traitor in anyway. they are loyal to both the IF( just as BT's and CF's are)and the emporer. they are trapt in the system Demaxus for what they believe is only decades at first, but as the humans on the planet are aging and dying , it turns out they are actually trapt there for what is actually close to 400 years. and 400yrs of being isolated from there chapter takes it toll on both the fighting strength of the company and there faith in the fact that they will never see there fellow battle brothers again. with the issue that the man power of the force is dwindling and that they cant abide by the normally strict recruiting rituals that need to be followed. a council is called amungst all the veterans , squad leaders, and other officers of a high rank. with there numbers cut from 500(plus officers strong) to barely over 100 combat able SMs it is decided that recruitment of new aspirants is required to save the company. they realise they cant do this without breaching all the rules of the IF. so they decide its a necassary evil to form a new chapter, in a bid to ensure the surival of the men still alive, and the system as a whole(which is under attack from force of renegades made up of pdf's of neighbouring planets and renegade SMs from the Death guard chapter). so them my chapter is formed. they build there fortress on Dorantis prime, and take new recruits from the planet(my force has a heavy scout pressence).

02-01-2011, 20:42
Thats quite detailed, but that still doesnt explain why the became renegades from their own chapter. Give them a very good reason for splitting, then probably reappearing more like 1500 years later(enough that they can fit in with 3rd+ founding chapters) so nobody grills them(or you) about where they came from.

You need some reason for them NOT to be Imperial Fists, but still be Imperial Astartes, like maybe they ritualistically carve flesh from the dead.

02-01-2011, 20:55
well ok, how about if the chapter isnt formed like straight there on the planet, how about the warp storms fade after hundreds of years and they board a strike cruiser or battle barge and head home to face the rath of the IFs. on reaching home, they explain themselves and the reasons they needed to brake chapter laws in order to survive extra. they are frowned upon by most of the IF leading officers, but are granted rites to form a new chapter , to redeem themselves as long as they swear loyal to the IFs and will come to aid of the chapter when ever they are called upon. that sound more realistic?

03-01-2011, 00:59
But what ARE the breaks? that is the key point. If they just appeared in post-heresy time, then they would be obviously grilled for information(hundreds or marines, conveniently missing during the Siege of the Imperial Palace), and probably investigated by the newly formed Inquisition.

Even if cleared then they would be likely inducted back into the chapter, because the Imperial Fists needed reinforcements after the Heresy.
If they FORGOT where they came from that would be simpler simply because alot of chapters dont know where they came from, so assuming the role of a long-lost branch of the Imperial Fists that are now the So-and-Sos of this system wouldnt be impossible.

03-01-2011, 03:14
irreconcilable differences seem like a good reason to not be refrocked as IF, post Golden Cage!
...strange views of Dorn. deviant death rites. refusal to undergo the pain glove. trouble adjusting to the codex. they could even form a hardline faction in the IF Legion who wanted war with the Ultramarines and newly formed High Lords of Terra.

03-01-2011, 06:45
I'd go with Son's or Scions of (insert name of Apothecary that managed to make new marines).

You could say that the warp storm, while to the outside universe, trapped them for a couple hundred years, on planet it was closer to several thousand. After such a period of isolation they would have new customs, traditions, as well as reworked and probably repainted armour. With no contact with their parent chapter for such a period they could have pretty much gone feral.

The story of an Apothecary managing to sustain the chapter so isolated and surrounded by the warp could be an interesting story. Perhaps their gene seed has mutated or had to be changed by necessity. Perhaps the chapter nearly died out after some cataclysmic event, and is descended from the gene seed of a single marine that died in the event, and the red on their armour is a tribute to his sacrifice and their common bloodline.

Maybe when the warpstorms cleared, the Chapter was brought before the Inquisition and/or the Fists, and after extensive trials, found to be pure but too genetically divergent to be reabsorbed into the Fists, and were granted an official founding.

I still think this works better on a more backwater planet. A forgeworld or a hiveworld is probably not self sustaining enough to have not starved during their isolation. That's not to say that the planet couldn't be more industrialized. Maybe it was garrisoned before because it was loaded with resources waiting to be exploited. Maybe a powerful chaos sorcerer conjured the warpstorms to deny the Imperium the planet during the heresy.

Perhaps, as a new chapter, they will provide protection to a nearby forgeworld in exchange for new equipment. Battlebarges are fairly rare, but it wouldn't be unlikely for the Forgeworld to have commissioned a fresh new Strike Cruiser or two to seal the deal.

Hopefully some of this is helpful. Good luck.

03-01-2011, 11:33
thank you very aliarzathanil, i love the idea with the apothecary maintaining the chapter.
i think il go with that, make it that they have been isolated on the planet for closer to 600 yrs(or isnt 600 yrs enough time to alter), in this time the gene seed has altered slightly from the orignal IF seed. the fact hardly any vegetation can dry due to little light ment meat was almost only form of food consumed, causing them as you say to almost go feral, the fangs enlongatted. with the constant dust storms on the hive planet and almost 25 hr of darkness out of the 30hr day but obviously felt like a lot longer due to the storm, has changed the chapter. there eyes are now sensitive to light, but are more advanced at seeing in the dark than there helmets gear. so during night they fight helmetless, showing off there disturbing like bright almost neon green cat like eyes which almost look tainted.
they are trialed and tested by the IFs chaplins and apothecarys for signs of taint. but there gene seed like u say, has been altered and shows sign of mutation, which means the IFs dont want to intergrate them back into the IFs but as they shown to be loyal and devote, they are offered the chance to form there own chapter, which is loyal to the IFs. i like the apothecary named theme, Sons of Sydan( changed apoth name as sons of gratis didnt go imo).

03-01-2011, 12:02
it helps the reader understand better if your comments are broken down into paragraphs

04-01-2011, 02:16
Sounds like their Occulobe has been set into overdrive (presumably becuase of the population developing unusual eyes to cope with the low light conditions.)

This small slug-like organ sits at the base of the brain. It provides the hormonal and genetic stimuli which enable a Marines eyes to respond to optic-therapy. The Occulobe does not itself improve a Marin's eyesight, but it allows technicians to make adjustments to the growth patterns of the eye and the light-receptive retinal cells. An adult Marine has far better eyesight than a normal human, and can see in low light conditions almost as well as in daylight.

I don't know wehter the IF are missing the Bletcher's Gland, or it simply dosen't work. If the latter, it may have been repurposed to something else during their isolation.

PS: if there is no light, there is no vegetation (wether it dries or not). If there is no veg, what are the animals eating?
How has the hive not starved to death?
Assuming they're using algae tanks / other hydrponics, they certainly wouldn't be eating meat. Fangs are the realm of SW and BA anyway, your chapter dosen't need them.

PPS: Feral marines AND a hive?

04-01-2011, 08:34
I'd say not quite feral, but things would get pretty crazy on a populous world that got cut off by a warp storm fairly quickly. Not enough food, confusion, the malevolent and ever present influence of chaos etc. As to the type of meat available on a hiveworld... Well, it's better to not dwell on what that probably would have been, but if you want a chapter with a dark secret...

I agree with the previous poster, avoid the fangs. I'd stay away from cat eyes too, but I'm not found of cats or the movie Avatar, so that just might be my personal bias. An eye related mutation would be interesting though.

04-01-2011, 17:53
Oh you mean Dances With Smurfs, but yeah Cat-eyes seems a more deviant mutation than possibly be acceptable, as Astartes still need a human-esque look and when you see a chapter of Were-Cats along with the Were-Wolfs, Vampires, etc. it would stress the fact that they MIGHT be excommunicated for genetic deviance. Space Wolves would have long ago if they didnt have such a long history of accomplishments.
The most standard live stock on harsh worlds is the Grox, a Cold One-like saurian that is tasty, resilient, and territorial, making it a bad idea to put males together.

Astartes also commonly eat their rations in a paste form so algae would be prefectly acceptable.
As for the Organs, the Imperial Fists cant use the Belcher's Gland(for acid saliva) or the Sus-An Membrane(for near-death emergency comas). I think they just cant use them, making them pretty much vestigal organs.

04-01-2011, 18:20
ok so i stay clear of the fangs theory, and il stick to an eye mutation of some sorts. and as regards to how the planet survives so long, algae factories and habbit domes with artifical light to grow plants. there is an abundance of water on the planet and the wind/dust storms that are causing havoc to the daylight are great for power wind turbine like dervices to generate the power for the argidomes.