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View Full Version : Fear - A 40k short story



Deadmetal
09-03-2011, 18:05
I had an idea, wrote the first couple of lines in my head an decided to run with it and write it.
This is the first 40k story I have ever written. Banged it out in a couple of hours so dont expect it to be great.
Hope you like it, any all all critisim is welcome.
Here goes:


FEAR

The fear rose in him instinctively. The horrors of what they could, they would and have done terrified him to his very core. He knew they would tear through his friends and comrades without feeling, mercy or remorse, leaving nothing more than bloody streaks of flesh and bodily fluids as evidence they even existed.
The beating of his heart threatened to drown out all senses, endlessly pounding a rhythm of pure horror. He tried to calm himself, using the self taught breathing techniques, slowing his shallow, harsh breaths. His pulse slowed from a single sound to a distinguishable natural rhythm, he calmed slightly, breathing now more measured and controlled.
The sound of rubble being dislodged snapped his conscience back to the present and all the terror that it deserved.
They had found him.
He raised his rifle and looked down the sight, seeing two of Them slowly hunting through the devastated city that was once his home, he moved the rifle until the crosshair kept pace with the head of the leading creature. Anger slowly rising as he remembered his dead friends, his dead family, torn to shreds in the disarray and panic of the first wave of attacks. He refocused as best he could. Pulling the trigger instinctively, years of drills ingrained into his mind, he let loose a single shot.
The head of the lead animal exploded in a glorious shower of chitin, flesh, gore and blue plasma.
Inside he roared in personal victory and revenge, riding the joy of the kill, he looked down his rifles sights a second time, determined to make those who had torn his life asunder pay. The creature he sought wasn’t there. Ager was replaced, once again, with pure, un-vetted terror. How could it of moved so quickly and silently out of sight?
He heard it racing towards him from his left side, all six limbs leaving gouges in the rubble and earth as it sprinted with all the speed it could muster towards its prey.
He looked towards the living nightmare, all claws and teeth, nothing less than something bred and born to wipe galaxies clean of all life.
In pure panic he emptied what was left of his rifle’s clip in the direction of that screaming terror. As his rifle clicked empty he waited for death to come. He waited, eyes shut and panic filled and realised he was still breathing, holding tight on the trigger of his weapon. He opened his eyes; the bloody wreck of his enemy lay not two meters in front of him, still gently twitching.
He had survived! He had won! Beaten an enemy so feared it was never spoken of!
The elation of his current survival slowly ebbed away as he realised, there are more of them hunting, stalking, killing. Imbued with a new confidence, he reloaded his rifle and started to stand up to exact some small measure of revenge on those that had brought his whole world crashing down in a mater of hours.
A spray of blue from his chest distracted him, as a feeling of numbness crept over his torso and down his limbs. He looked down, a bone white blade of bone had sprouted from his sternum. It slowly and effortlessly slid back into his chest leaving a bloody hole. As he fell to the ground, all breath escaping him, he saw the Lictor fade into the background from where it had come.
This world would fall, just like the thousands before it.

Deadmetal
29-03-2011, 13:12
Lack of response mean its crap? lol

Jaraknarn
29-03-2011, 15:22
No, i liked it, i should have posted earlier, this part of the forum isn't very highly populated.

andyg2006
29-03-2011, 16:57
I think this is a well-written and intriguing story - do you have anything else to go with this idea too? (I find that sometimes writing about one thing gives me plenty of ideas about "what else might be out there", etc, and can then expand upon the themes or locations or personalities).

Deadmetal
29-03-2011, 22:35
Cheers for the comments :)
I know this part of the forum doesnt get much traffic, but over 150 views Id thought atleast one person would coment lol.

I do have a couple of ideas/plot line that could expand this story, Ill have to see what I can do.

Wolflord Havoc
29-03-2011, 22:53
Nice short mate

"Spray of Blue"?

Interesting I take it the slain defender is in fact an alien (Tau?)

hawo0313
29-03-2011, 23:28
not bad very nice but too short probably should have known from the title the unfortunate thing is we cant expect more right ??

Deadmetal
31-03-2011, 21:23
@Wolf, Cheers and yes, you are correct. Tau indeed.

@Hawo, Cheers :). This might end up being the intro to a longer story, I have some ideas floating in my head.