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Kotobuki
29-03-2006, 02:45
So... my girlfriend is tired and wants to go to bed. That's well and good, except that I'm not tired at all. So, she asks me to tell her a story... I tell her a quick cute little story about a blade of grass. Then she wants another one... and so I make up a story about a dancing zebra... and I was all tapped out. See, I'm not the creative type.

Wanting me to keep talking to her, she asks what I talked to my brother about on the phone today... cue a five minute summary of my conversation. She seemed tired... and I thought maybe, just maybe, I'd be off the hook. WRONG. She wants more stories... but she knows I'm not very creative... and asks me to tell her "a story about [my] little mens. The knight ones... the bretonnians." (i've got a couple 40k armies as well, she needed to specify).

So, I tell her I'll be right back, go grab my Bretonnian army book, and begin reading her "The History of Bretonnia." Finally, round about the end of the Third Great Battle, she falls asleep.

Has anyone else ever ended up using thier Fantasy (or even 40K, or any other games) as bedtime stories for children, or loved ones? Or am I just some kind of freak.

He Who Laughs
29-03-2006, 03:03
Your not a freak (well, you could be - but we've only just met :p ) - a friend of mines fiancee get him to tell her about WH40K and WHFB stuff to put her to sleep. Now, it seems nice - but to her, its so boring and laughable that he plays with little figures, that she dozes off from lack of interest.

My girlfriend tried that once - I just laughed at her, because I knew the real reason she was asking.

Some people jsut don't understand :(

TownCryer
29-03-2006, 03:03
I thing thats kinda sweet, in a sense, I mean brettonia is one of the most romantisized(word?) armies, but all situations a warhammer story can work for, I'd like to try it sometime, thanks for the idea dood.

Pravus
29-03-2006, 09:13
That's one high maintenance girlfriend! A dancing zebra, you say? Can't see WH stories working with my three year old though ...

"What happened then, daddy?"
"Well, then the Chosen of Khorne charged them in the flanks and butchered them to a man!"
"So the Brettonians didn't live happily ever after then?"
"No son, the were left on the battlefield to rot whilst crows pecked out their eyes - right, lets turn the light off now shall we?"

ZomboCom
29-03-2006, 09:46
Your girlfriend insists on bedtime stories?

Alex Under
29-03-2006, 09:50
Are you sure what she wanted was you to tell her story or was she seeking your attention? :D Next time read her a Slaaneshii tale and see how she reacts :D

Pravus
29-03-2006, 09:58
Goldilocks and the three transexuals

Lord Lucifer
29-03-2006, 12:27
A friend of mine read the 4th ed. 40K rulebook to a 4-year old as bedtime reading.

The scary thing is the kid apparently hung on every word.
I fear the world is about to witness the UberGeek :eek:

der_lex
29-03-2006, 12:44
The scary thing is the kid apparently hung on every word.
I fear the world is about to witness the UberGeek

Was his birth accompanied by a rain of mountain dew and prophesied in apocryphic rules errata from 1st edition D&D and Warhammer, perchance?

Cpt. Drill
29-03-2006, 13:19
Can you tells us the story about the blade of grass.....


I am semi creative and i cant think of a good blade of grass story

Three Headed Monkey
29-03-2006, 13:22
And you shall know him by the mark on his body, 37337, the number of the geek.

Seriously though, some of the fantasy short stories you see in the armybooks and WD could make good, quick bedtime tales. Perhaps the less gruesome ones. Actually, make that the more gruesome ones. Kids love that stuff. Though it wont put em to sleep :)

der_lex
29-03-2006, 13:47
I don't think any of the stories would actually be any more gruesome than any of the non-bowdlerised Grimm stories.

My two nephews (who are 11 and 5 now, respectively) have always been very happy to visit the uncle who has all those neat little men and LARp stuff displayed in his apartment. I've been telling the eldest of the two stories of my LARP escapades since he was about four, and he's always loved every minute of it. When he was five or so, he used to refer to me to his friends as 'the uncle who goes out into the woods and kills monsters'. :)

A friend of mine in my roleplaying group has also begun to tell her nephew and niece the stories of our adventures. Not surprisingly, their big favority is the smelly, pseudo-permanently drunk Dwarf slayer played by our fellow Warseer Starbane...
I don't think she should witch to telling Warhammer stories though. She plays Dark Elves. (and then my semi-naked psychotic women started to tear apart the foe and defile their corpses...)

I think it's pretty common for WH-players and roleplayers to tell their stories to the kids they know. We already bore adults to tears with them, so why should kids be allowed to weasel out because of their age? ;)

strv
29-03-2006, 14:11
Right, i can't get it out of my head;
The evning before going to a circus, telling the storie of the carnival of chaos from the mordheim book. :)

Kotobuki
29-03-2006, 14:32
Can you tells us the story about the blade of grass.....

I am semi creative and i cant think of a good blade of grass storyIt was about a single blade of sentient grass that was the only living life form on a planet. It was really pretty lame.

And, yeah, mostly she just wanted to hear me talk. And, knowing I've got about 0 creative juices, asked me to tell her about somethign I liked.

Crube
29-03-2006, 15:14
I vote for the Slaaneshi story idea....;)

Never really thought about WH stuff as bedtime reading...although I have 1 grandson who's starting to show an interest, so when he comes to stay...

Frecus
29-03-2006, 15:43
The brettonian book is perfect for such stories.
It's about knights in shining armour, how much more fairytale do you want?

The sundering would make a good one too. The history of the wood elves less so though... Maybe spiced up even the wood elf fluff could be made quite an epic story! It'd also make the story thrice as long, but that's what storytelling is supposed to be; long evening-filling tales.

Frecus
The glade wanderer
Madwarrior

plasticfrog
30-03-2006, 06:10
Was his birth accompanied by a rain of mountain dew and prophesied in apocryphic rules errata from 1st edition D&D and Warhammer, perchance?

LOL!

As for bedtime stories... I've never tried warhammer on my g/f. It'd probably start off with:

"It was 2000 point pitched battle between the Empire and the Greenskins. My army selection consisted of....."

Imma_De_Freakin_Pope
30-03-2006, 06:46
yeah, i like the one about the dark elves...TELL ME MORE!!!!..wat happened after the half naked elf defiled the corpse???

der_lex
30-03-2006, 08:14
yeah, i like the one about the dark elves...TELL ME MORE!!!!..wat happened after the half naked elf defiled the corpse???

First they smoked some pipeweed. Then they tried to cuddle the corpses. After that, they tried to speak to the corpses, but the corpses wouldn't respond.
Enraged by this serious lack of commitment in a relationship, their murderous rampage continued and they charged the next unit... ;)

snurl
30-03-2006, 10:17
My son, said the Runelord,
Thats really a laugh -
You'll never find gold
in McElligot's shaft...........

Apologies to Dr Suess.

Starbane
30-03-2006, 15:32
A friend of mine in my roleplaying group has also begun to tell her nephew and niece the stories of our adventures. Not surprisingly, their big favority is the smelly, pseudo-permanently drunk Dwarf slayer played by our fellow Warseer Starbane...
I don't think she should witch to telling Warhammer stories though. She plays Dark Elves. (and then my semi-naked psychotic women started to tear apart the foe and defile their corpses...)

It's not a permanently drunk dwarf, dwarves can take their ale
...he just has a non-definable character

Should try to tell such a story in the scouts...Imagine, 40 kids of around six who go asking what the hell a dwarf is and why he doesn't shave..

ROCKY
31-03-2006, 01:37
It works. I actually fell asleep while reading my VC book. Groovy.

Morathi's Darkest Sin
09-04-2006, 22:46
I'm thinking of making up some stories to tell my two year old at bedtime.. so far 'The littlest spawn that lives down the lane' is coming along nicely. :)

Start brainwashing him early thats my motto.

ROCKY
09-04-2006, 23:47
I'm thinking of making up some stories to tell my two year old at bedtime.. so far 'The littlest spawn that lives down the lane' is coming along nicely. :)

Start brainwashing him early thats my motto.
Whats the name of the spawn?

RGB
10-04-2006, 00:25
I tried that but it doesn't work.

It leads to less sleep and more arguments about whether WH/40K/Warcraft/Starcraft/Warmachine/Whatever fluff actually makes sense, where are the plot holes, and how does one compare to any of the others.

And I still haven't been able to convincingly answer queries about "why haven't the Scaven overrun everything yet?"

So yeah, it doesn't work.

ROCKY
10-04-2006, 00:46
I tried that but it doesn't work.

It leads to less sleep and more arguments about whether WH/40K/Warcraft/Starcraft/Warmachine/Whatever fluff actually makes sense, where are the plot holes, and how does one compare to any of the others.

And I still haven't been able to convincingly answer queries about "why haven't the Scaven overrun everything yet?"

So yeah, it doesn't work.
you can answer the second part by saying that the skaven are too busy killing each other and have no interest in collaborating being that they want to further THEIR OWN schemes.;)

Morathi's Darkest Sin
10-04-2006, 12:19
Whats the name of the spawn?

He doesn't have one.. yet, but thats part of the story.. here I'll post the first draft of the first book, to be honest it might need some cleaning up, and it doesn't quite work as well without the pictures that my wife is planning.. but anyways.

Just remember before you read this has been written in mind for a two year old. :D



‘The Littlest Spawn who lived down the Lane’

Far down the Lane, past the Town of Wolfenburg there was a small, small cave.

Inside the Cave lived the Littlest Spawn, he was very sad.

He was sad because he couldn’t remember his name or who he had followed and often sat in the dark trying to remember.

The littlest spawn had many friends, but today he decided he would visit his good friend Gramphurrk.

He squirmed out of the small, small cave and Shambled to the Herdstone.

Gramphurrk was making a spell and spotted the Littlest Spawn arriving.

“Hello Littlest Spawn” said Gramphurrk.

“Hello Gramphurrk, I wanted to know if you know who I am?” asked the Littlest Spawn.

Gramphurrk thought for a long time and stroked his goat like beard.

“No I do not Littlest Spawn but perhaps I can send you to someone who does”

The Littlest Spawn danced at the news, not the most pleasant sight but he danced all the same.

“Who Gramphurrk, who do I need to see.”

“Poxmuncle, he lives in the mountains to the east, near the Goblins.”

“The Goblins, Mmmm I like to eat Goblins”

Gramphurrk nodded. “It is long journey but I am sure Poxmuncle will be able to answer your question.”

The Littlest Spawn smiled.

“Thank you Gramphurrk I shall leave immediately.”

Gramphurrk watched as the Littlest Spawn turned and began to lurch through the forest. “Good luck Littlest Spawn I hope you find what you are looking for.”

But the Littlest Spawn didn’t hear, he was too excited and began his long journey east.

Autobot HQ
10-04-2006, 15:49
*sits with his legs crossed on the floor, wide-eyed and smiling waiting for the next gripping part of the tale*

Steel_Legion
11-04-2006, 02:01
i read the story (to myself) last night, in the bret book about the 12 great wars, Yawn! i only fell asleep because they were so boring and cheesy!

Lastie
11-04-2006, 13:30
Don't stop there MDS! What happens to the Spawn next? :eek:

Satan
11-04-2006, 13:43
Brilliant, just keep going... I want to write this down...

Morathi's Darkest Sin
12-04-2006, 08:46
Heh, I'm glad you guys like it.. oh and I am intending to do more... but I'll post a new thread in Stories and Art within the next few days.

The Littlest Spawn will return...

God_of_Science
13-04-2006, 04:54
That is an awesome (yet unsettling) childrens story. Bravo, keep it up.

der_lex
17-04-2006, 01:45
My years of indoctrinating my nephews (more details in previous posts in this thread) have paid off!

I went back home because of my mother's birthday, and what does my 11-year old nephew hold in his little hands when he runs in?

A box of Dark Elf warriors!

He had already put some of them together (and did a great job for a kid his age, I might add) and had started painting one as well. Of course it wasn't Heavy Metal material, but he did paint it rather neatly for a kid his age. I spent my afternoon teaching him how to drybrush, and he picked that up rather quickly.
He's already saving up money for a second unit (might have to sponsor him a little, considering his allowance), and I promised that I would try and teach him how to actually play the game as soon as he gets it (will probably leave out most of the psychology rules at first though).
I do feel strangely proud of him, although I might also be a little concerned for his mental health, since he could pick any army he wanted to play with and he ended up choosing between Dark Elves and Skaven...
This boy is lost to the light, it seems :)