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SaschaKreiger
06-08-2011, 05:42
Here's all the articles I've written on the Sturmkreig Empire. I've got a lot of articles written, but not too much per article. The good thing is that should make it easy to get and work in input.

Articles on the Sturmkreig Empire (http://en.sturmkreig.com/index.php?title=Category:Sturmkreig)

I have geographic and regional names which are based on real world regions or features and are modified to have a similar name or the same name but with a language based spelling change. Please let me know if any of these names are too heavy handed.

There are several articles which are about a war with a sept of the Tau Empire. I recently found out that the Tau are probably going to be unsuitable as an enemy, as a sept would only be one or two worlds. I plan to keep the war, but change the enemy. If anyone has any ideas, please suggest them; I would prefer an alien race rather than a Human empire. A suggestion that was given to me was to have another Tau empire that evolved early in the Tau history.

Here's a list of specific articles:

List of Planets in the Sturmkreig Empire (http://en.sturmkreig.com/wiki/List_of_planets_in_the_Sturmkreig_Empire)

Army Group 403 "Anonymafraulein" (http://en.sturmkreig.com/wiki/403rd_Army_Group_%22Anonymafraulein%22)

Scharzenkommandos (http://en.sturmkreig.com/wiki/Scharzenkommando)

Sturmkreig Empire Anthem (http://en.sturmkreig.com/wiki/Sturmkreig_Empire_Anthem)

Aschknas (http://en.sturmkreig.com/wiki/Aschknas)

Attack on the Stardust Empire (http://en.sturmkreig.com/wiki/Attack_on_the_Stardust_Empire)

Artwork:

Stormtrooper Sargeant (http://en.sturmkreig.com/images/f/f5/Stormtrooper_Avatar.jpg)

Gretel Ehrenstein (http://en.sturmkreig.com/images/e/ef/Gretel_Ehrenstein.jpg)

Stormtrooper (http://en.sturmkreig.com/images/f/f2/SieistSturmkreig.jpg)

Sturmkreig Star (http://en.sturmkreig.com/images/5/56/SturmkreigStar.jpg)

Eisenstern (http://en.sturmkreig.com/images/5/5c/AschknasStar.png)

Please share your thoughts!

Blackhoof
08-08-2011, 05:11
cool, do you have an actual imp guard proxy-army for them, or is it just fluff-based?

because the FW Death Korps of Krieg look very much like WW1 German soldiers, and since the Sturmkrieg appear to be based on them, you should consider buying them.

SaschaKreiger
08-08-2011, 23:14
I just use the regular models because Forge World is stupidly expensive.

I'm also working on a separate codex.

Okuto
11-08-2011, 00:34
NOTE: I apologize in advance if you take any offense, I mean only to give constructive criticism as when I started out writing my own fluff I also wrote pure awesome sauce goodness for myself but over the years found that modesty gives a much better solid believable product

Personally......I think it's way too much........

but here's a few opinions, take them as you will

-I think you shouldn't ref any actual nationality....we don't have any ref for actual ethic groups being pointed out in 40k...the emperor is from Anatolia but there's no actual ref to turkey for example.... it's fine to name things after real world things though I just think there's no need to ref actual nationality as there's no precedent for it in 40k

-You are way too big.....to the point where reading the few articles is kinda unbelievable.....

-The few articles are very sparse and disorganized, after reading I have no idea what to make of your empire except they are huge, strong to the point of rivaling the Imperium....if not stronger than the Ultramarines' little empire...with little to no flaws whatsoever

-In all I think you really need modesty.....after reading the articles I got a feeling of simply...

-We'll a huge Empire of over 100 worlds that rival everyone's hated poster boys the smurfs and we have *list of awesome sauce* and we can throw down with anybody.

To be particularly frank good sir I find reading this is like reading a rough outline of what Matt Ward would write about his own army

SaschaKreiger
11-08-2011, 02:59
I understand. I actually have plans to write about my own defeats, but they haven't been put into writing, as with a lot of other stuff. Part of the problem is that I get so busy with administrative stuff that I run out of time to add what I wanted. The backstory suffers from a lot of unwritten fluff.

I really appreciate your honesty, thanks.

When you say "too big," could you elaborate a little more?

I'm going to make a push to write more fluff, because it's seriously underwritten. Is there anything specific that seems "too big?" It's probably a problem of not having specified shortcomings or losses. I have this policy page that I give to new users: Sturmkreig:Tips to avoid a Mary Sue (http://en.sturmkreig.com/wiki/Sturmkreig:Tips_to_avoid_a_Mary_Sue)

As for direct references to nationalities, did I mention anything outside of simply saying what something was based on? Even that, I should probably take out. Some of the basis is pretty obvious, as is with a lot of 40k stuff, but it doesn't need to be spelled out.

Probably the biggest thing I need to do is WRITE MOAR! I've got a lot of good stuff, stuff that can clarify things, but I just haven't written it yet.

Blackhoof
11-08-2011, 11:46
By too big, he means that you are too powerful to be believed, basically. 2000 worlds is a bit much, even a few hundred would be s bit hard to believe that the imperium hasnt noticed and taken it over.

SaschaKreiger
11-08-2011, 12:59
It's 200 worlds.

Okuto
11-08-2011, 16:09
As I said thats way too big(When I started out I said I had 50 worlds but even thats too big) without the Imperium taking any sort of notice. The ultramarines have the "largest empire" under the Imperium and it's only 11 worlds so it is very silly and very unbelievable for you to have over 200 worlds under one umbrella.

Also the Imperium being paronoid fellows as they are would never allow someone to have more than their own planet or let alone a collection of planets to festor together.

Think about what would happen with your chaps all of a sudden decided to rebel....200+ worlds under one umbrella would be a no-no within the Imperium let alone the lore itself.

There is a reason why everything is separate within the Imperium

-You don't need to be 200+ worlds to be an empire.....just two worlds under one umbrella is quite an accomplishment in the 40k lore

-keep it modest below 5 is good as it gives you enough space to flesh out your fluff, you have gotten way too ahead of yourself to the point where reading your sparse fluff is basically reading propaganda that borders with Matt Ward awesome sauce



If I was writing/editing your fluff I'd do the following

-Loose confederation of planets make up the "empire" ala German Confederation

-Serious Modesty....seriously the Tau Empire aren't big enough to compete with you....the reason we love IG is cause they are the common joe, if you want awesome sauce go write marine fluff

-slim the empire down to 5 planets(even that is kinda pushing it), it'd have to be half the size of Ultramar sector/empire to be believable...basically smurfs set the benchmark of over the top awesome sauce, if you reach their height or even half way you start to enter the realm of unbelievable esp from a IG fluff point of view

-cut lots of excess for re use later on


The main prob is you have no foundation.....

-I have no idea who is in charge, just a bunch of individuals who are linked in some fashion

-I have no idea who these people really are, I only have the impression of guys who have a awesome empire that can spit out a ton of accomplishments

-and frankly it's lack of modesty makes it's unbearable to read, you obliviously are passionate about your fluff and thats why I'm posting here to assist you but it you want people to take your fluff seriously you need to write believable fluff


-People won't even read past the first few sentences if they see "empire of 200 worlds that find the tau empire a poor enemy cause they are too small" when I first read that it translated to my mind

"Uber awesome sauce human empire that too good to be fighting so called tau empire"

I only posted here cause I'm pretty sure no one else would give you constructive advice as the basis of your "empire" is quite ludicrous and I don't think most would take the time to read given the dubious basis no offense

TheScreamingGodKing
12-08-2011, 07:07
2,000 worlds had been claimed for the glory of the empire, at the cost of untold billions of lives.
thats alot, and larger than 1% of the Imperium, ive also noticed that alot of your worlds are forgeworlds, which are comparatively rare. Tone it down alot to like 5.
Its will make for a much nicer war and will be more believable, also come up with a story of why the IMPERIUM has not annexed you.
In addition to higher powered propellant, the bullets were also modified using advanced technology to penetrate all but the heaviest non powered infantry armor.
Also that means its gonna be bolter like with its str 4 ap 5, why do your regular troopers get boltguns while the imperium has lasguns
Tone it down, modesty is the key. I dont have regiments of Baneblades rolling around anymore

Blackhoof
12-08-2011, 10:33
Precisely, I think a dozen planets if the empire is far away from the Imperium (so they don't get curbstomped.)

SaschaKreiger
12-08-2011, 17:17
That was way back in the Dark Age of Technology, and within only a few thousand years, the empire fell by more than half, and then down to 200.

Necrosiskrieg (http://en.sturmkreig.com/wiki/Necrosiskrieg)

Sturmkreig timeline (http://en.sturmkreig.com/wiki/Sturmkreig_timeline)

There was a long discussion several months ago about the 200 world figure, which had actually been reduced from 2,000.

I think after 961M28, the number of worlds is around 500, which then drops down to 200 by the end of the age of strife. 200 worlds is maintained through the Age of the Imperium for all of the following reasons, to keep it believable, because conquered worlds are turned over to the rest of the Imperium, and because of wariness of expansion.

Sturmkreig Empire (http://en.sturmkreig.com/wiki/Sturmkreig_Empire)

I added the number of worlds to the beginning for clarity and because the number changed in the beginning. I think that brief period of 2,000 worlds will be ok since it was clearly unsustainable, and it also gives them a reason to lose DAT technology.

The weapons would definitely not be at bolter strength. They would probably be around S3 AP5.

Should I change forge world to something like arbeit world to make the difference clear?

I have another question, none of you think the Eisenstern looks too religious, do you?

SaschaKreiger
13-08-2011, 15:59
Isn't 200 worlds actually really small for a sector? Sturmkreig is a sector, which at one point was a full empire. The Imperium helped the revolution around the time of the Great Crusade that brought the Mongoose Unit into power, as part of making Sturmkreig a part of the Imperium.

If necessary, Sturmkreig could be a sub sector and the Volianvan and Bevelle sectors (http://en.sturmkreig.com/wiki/Portal:Volianvan) could be sub sectors in the same sector.

I ask the question because I think it's an issue about sectors, not to make the empire bigger.

Okuto
13-08-2011, 23:27
8-11 is more common......at least referenced so far
examples:
Cadia: 10
Thracian Primaris: 8

Then of course the benchmark.......damn smurfs
Ultramar: 96-100 worlds in sector total, 8-9 sub sectors, sector capital is 12 worlds (note that Ultarmar is the only ref to an "empire" within the Imperium under one rule)



200 deems a very exceptional sector, the Calixis sector(one of the best documented sectors in the lore) is roughy that size but it's no "empire", it's a collection of petty planetary governors who barely bat an eye at their sector governor with a massively heavy inquisition presence

Sector governors on paper "rule" the sector but in truth they are just the Imperium's tax collector and the first man they shoot if something goes wrong.

While it wouldn't be unbelievable if all these sectors had a quasi-coalition in the end you are a IG army from what I'm reading......planets raise their own individual guard regiments not sectors so the very idea of a sector raising their own regiments is quite dubious and dangerous to the Imperium.

Thus I suggest......

You can keep your sector.......just make it factioned......The SturmKrieg Empire can be a collection of planets within the sector that have strong ties to one another and band together ala Holy Roman Empire/German Confederation. Each planet share some culture but are formally independent of one another.

Then for the army they can just be a pooled collection of all the planets within the sector ala German Army during during the Franco-Prussian War. However it'd be better if you just focused on the capital planet's Imperial Guard regiments.

Your greatest problem is you have gotten too ahead and expanded without properly fleshing out who these guys are and consoling the existing fluff, your "empire" would be double the smurfs' empire and in the lore nothing outdoes the smurfs

To be honest this would be soo much easier if you were just a separatist, the Imperium is too paranoid for sector governors to actually have any real control over their sectors though even then 200 worlds is way too much

Think for a bit if a cadian walked up to one of your guys and had a conversation

Cadian: Hey trooper, where are you from?
Sturmkrieg: oh I come from a empire of 200 worlds and you?
Cadian: Umm....I come from Cadia....

Modesty my friend.....it will save you trouble, now since you have created a sector you need to flesh out every inch of it, a few sparse paragraphs will not do. IF you are writing about your IG army pick one planet from that "Sector" and go with that

SaschaKreiger
14-08-2011, 01:34
Thanks for your suggestions. I don't have a lot of time right now, so I'm not ignoring the rest of you advice.

Who are the Smurfs?

azimaith
14-08-2011, 01:40
8-11 major habitated worlds is Ultramar. Calixis sector has dozens of habitated worlds . Sectors probably have hundreds if not thousands of worlds, depending on how large they happen to be, its just that most are uninteresting to humans. In our system alone we have 9 "worlds" 8 if you want to discount Pluto. A sector is multiple systems along with vast expanses of space.

The deal is that outside of Ultramar, no one owns a sector under a single rulership, oh sure, they have a lord sector, but he's essentially just a high up part of the political structure, he's not the emperor of the sector.

Okuto
14-08-2011, 03:26
Ultramar consists of at least eight systems of worlds. Macragge is the capital of Ultramar as a whole:

thus eight(nine sometimes appears in the newer fluff) sectors roughy 9-11 planets a piece(by current fluff precedent), it doesn't matter if they are inhabited or not the OP asked a rough estimate of how many planets are in a sector/system

I use to think it was 11 planets too but after rereading it I realized they also had other sectors under them which haven't been discussed in fluff yet, most likely gonna be used for some later space marine codex when they need a new planet of the ultramarines to be wasted

BTW smurfs are everyone's hated guys the ultramarines, the benchmark of awesome

SaschaKreiger
26-08-2011, 04:36
I just had the idea of making the Sturmkreig protectorate be designated as a subsector instead of a sector. One of the other people on Sturmkreig wrote about the Volianvan sector; which could also include Sturmkreig. Maybe the Volianvan sector would be responsible for verifying the loyalty of Sturmkreig.

http://en.sturmkreig.com/wiki/Portal:Volianvan

I'm going to be taking out the navigators and characters like that from the Sturmkreig Empire, and have them use a slower form of Warp travel, like the Tau, because of their psychically blank nature. Someone told me it would be less powerful for some reason to give them full Warp travel abilities.

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I'm probably going to go with 160-170 worlds, and have some sort of self government in the Sektors, with a single unifying government in the Imperator Sektor. Not too far from one of your suggestions. Really, what needs to happen is to have more explained

Okuto
26-08-2011, 21:53
So the sturmkrieg is basically going to be a collection of planets within the sector?

SaschaKreiger
30-08-2011, 16:34
Basically. Maybe existing like the United States, except maybe slightly more decentralized. Also, the Rotstein Sektor might technically be a separate empire, similar to the Mechanicum. It would fit with the Imperium -1 theme suggested by TLG.

Sturmkreig is also going to be technically a sub sector in the Volianvan Sector.

I'm also reducing the number of Valkyries that Ehrenstein class destroyers carry.

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Can psychic blanks (no Warp presence, not psychic or pariah) sense the presence of Pariahs? It might be a problem for finding the strong pariahs to use in the Scharzenkommando. Strongly anti psychic pariahs probably being of one out of every 10-20 thousand people.

Unrelated, does the Eisenstern look too religious?

Okuto
30-08-2011, 19:16
blanks dont sense other blanks last I checked, only psykers can sense blanks much to their discomfort.

SaschaKreiger
30-08-2011, 21:48
Do they sense blanks (no positive or negative presence) as opposed to pariahs? (stronger negative Warp disruption)

I thought that ordinary people could sense strong pariahs, who have very strong Warp disruptive power. Psykers were more sensitive to it.

Okuto
31-08-2011, 00:55
blanks cause a slight discomfort(nothing serious) for a psyker while a pariah would drive one insane with enough contact......though it varies from case to case, overall a pariah in the presence of a psyker is much more severe than a simple blank....

All tau are blanks and trying to reach into their mind is like talking to a brick wall, its more annoying than it is painful

SaschaKreiger
31-08-2011, 01:01
Tau are actually blank? I thought they were just very psychically weak.

I guess that makes Sturmkreig slightly less awesome then. I worked on numbers today for the untouchables. Only 1 in 2000 people would have any negative presence, and that's just slightly negative. Actual serious pariahs are still far more rare.

It's possible that the Volianvan Sector could use heretical psykers as a way of detecting which pariahs are the strongest.

Okuto
31-08-2011, 01:09
Tau have no presence in the warp so basically yes they are blanks(its why they cant warp travel), they arent pariah gene blessed though....

SaschaKreiger
25-09-2011, 19:43
Sturmkrieg is going to be 100 worlds and the Rotstein Sektor which is a seperate empire with (slightly) limited self government is going to be 50.

Inquisitor Aaron
02-10-2011, 06:33
I'm not trying to be debbie downer or anything. :skull:

But I just think that the number of worlds your empire owns is too much. Heck even GW's poster boys don't have this many worlds.

Also if you're only going to have one man in command of this many worlds he's going to have serious limitations on what he's capable of doing. Simply because the amount of manpower he could muster if he went rogue would be a Massive threat to the Imperium.

All I'm just trying to get at is you don't need a lot of worlds to be a big semi-autonomous empire.

P.S. Just givin my 2 cents here :chrome:

SaschaKreiger
02-10-2011, 06:57
Sturmkrieg is 90 worlds and 60 worlds in Rotstein. About the same as someone else suggested before.


Also if you're only going to have one man in command of this many worlds he's going to have serious limitations on what he's capable of doing. Simply because the amount of manpower he could muster if he went rogue would be a Massive threat to the Imperium.

There are limitations, though I don't think I've written about them before.

Gretel Ehrenstein had to become an Inquisitor Lord before Sturmkrieg was allowed to create the Scharzenkommando. There are different organizations that have different leaders. The Machtstein Sektor, which is mostly forge worlds, is going to be more a part of the Mechanicum then the Imperium.

The current Sturmkrieg government is one that the Imperium put into power.

I've been working on these issues.

Thanks.

Inquisitor Aaron
02-10-2011, 07:21
Good good, I just wanna say this is some good stuff so keep it up :D

SaschaKreiger
02-10-2011, 14:03
Thanks. Is there anything in particular?

Inquisitor Aaron
02-10-2011, 16:31
I mean in general. Personally though I'm quite a fan of anything German esque such as the death korp and this.

SaschaKreiger
02-10-2011, 16:51
There's going to be a Sturmkrieg codex available, eventually.

SaschaKreiger
13-12-2011, 01:56
I was going over the Sturmkrieg Sektor article, and I noticed that it was lousy with the whole "worlds were torn asunder" style that all the fluff in the 40k rulebook is written in. It sounds cool at first, but gets really tiring. It's also really hard to avoid using when I'm writing a general background. It's not so bad with stories or anything small scale.

I also don't have to worry about it at all when I'm writing in German.

I've also been working on that article at Sturmkrieg DE.

http://de.sturmkrieg.com/Sturmkrieg_Sektor

Sturmkrieg is also 60 something worlds and Rotstein is 40 something. They're different governments under the Imperium. Rotstein gained independence when the Imperium overthrew the Sturmkrieg Empire and replaced it with Sternkampf.

Sturmkrieg is too small to be a sector, but it could possibly be given the designation as a sector to make it subject to higher authority than just that of a sector. It could also be given a special protectorate status between the Imperium and the Mechanicum.