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Tayrod
30-11-2011, 13:05
I know I have.

For me, it's not the "you play with toys" bit that annoys me, it's when they ask how much my toys cost, and how much I spend annually.

Am I alone in sometimes wanting to hide my hobby away?

IcedCrow
30-11-2011, 13:09
No, because I don't really care what other people think about what I do to enjoy myself in my off time, so long as it's not hurting other people. I stopped caring about impressing others when I left high school. It's no different than those people who spend thousands on remote controlled air-planes, or spend a lot of money on cars, or booze.

I know a guy who can't get into the game though he wants to, because he says he is too poor. For what he spends on alcohol in a month, he could have had several armies over last year.

gutsmaka
30-11-2011, 13:11
yeah, especially when I talk to girls, it dosent make for a good conversation and ould probabl end with the girl slowly edging away

but what is this hooby you speak of?
EDIT: I'm still in high school, year 11

Tayrod
30-11-2011, 13:13
Haha, hooby indeed :) Atleast I was able to spell it correctly in my last sentence :)

The bearded one
30-11-2011, 13:22
In recent years it's been accompanied by "oooh"'s and "aaaaah"'s, so no, not really.

Commissar Vaughn
30-11-2011, 13:25
Hide it? Flaunt it more like, and damn all who dont like it!

pyrosocial
30-11-2011, 13:32
I agree with you there. The only thing I'm ashamed of is how much this hobby cost. Too bad its not based in america, the prices might not be so high.

TheWarmaster
30-11-2011, 13:33
I watch MLP FiM so I have no shame really.
Besides most of the people who see my figures just wonder how can I paint so accurately even after I tell them I paid 25€ for five models.

Fixer
30-11-2011, 13:33
I'm happy to tell friends/colleagues of my Wargaming and tournament exploits.

However I do tend to keep the nerd room closed and hidden when I'm inviting girls around to the flat:
http://twitter.com/#!/Fixer40000/media/slideshow?url=pic.twitter.com%2Fy1CEThEH

Tayrod
30-11-2011, 13:47
Oh, don't get me wrong. I do show off my models, and tell people about my hobby.. But I still cringe when someone asks how much it costs! I guess I feel sort of selfish spending so much money on myself, when there are so many better causes out there (I hang around a lot of christian idealists)

Pyriel
30-11-2011, 13:57
it depends. MANY ppl have often tried to make me feel bad about the hobby. but i'm not ashamed of it-more like, angry at them for being so shortsighted.

it has never been detrimental to my relationships with girls-usualy if a girl is interested, its either appearance (i am not exactly good looking; fairly average i'd say. just, kinda muscular compared to most ppl i know. helps with the ladies ;) ) OR she has geeky hobbies too. in both cases, what the girl likes isnt affected ;)

my parents do find it somewhat wierd, but they find most of what i've done wierd. for example, they were anti-military protesters in their youth and i volunteered for special forces. do the math on what happened.

most of the other society (far relatives, friends/ppl i know) find it very wierd, like, my country is still in the '80s "of the devil" mentality regarding gaming. thng is, i am such an elitist that i *doubt their right to have and express an opinion* when they are so weak-minded they cant understand it. why should i pay attention to idiots?

i can understand gamers who are afraid to be considered geeks due to fear of bullying though. it helped me that i was never in fear of being physicaly bullied, but thats not for everyone. they have a right to feel safe too.

Gen.Steiner
30-11-2011, 14:04
It is, in theory at least, my living - I am a professional figure painter. So no, I'm not ashamed of it in the slightest! :D

ColShaw
30-11-2011, 14:05
I was shy about it when I first started the hobby, because I was 15 and didn't want my parents to know how much it cost. But that was a long time ago, and I got over it pretty fast. Now, I like to show off my models and talk about hobby gaming. :)

NixonAsADaemonPrince
30-11-2011, 14:09
I'd say I'm a little shy about this hobby, but once I get to know someone I'm more than happy to talk about it, though only if they're interested of course. Most people haven't been bothered in the slightest.

DCLXVI
30-11-2011, 14:12
I'm middle aged and I still get comments from people at work along the lines of 'the models cost HOW much?! This from people who think nothing of spending hundreds on a football season ticket or a lot on drinking on a Saturday night.
I just ignore them and keep doing what I want to do. It's MY money after all.

A quote from the great Bill Hicks...
''Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography and smoking and everything else. What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I ****, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?''

tuo
30-11-2011, 14:15
I actually just came back to the hobby after a six or seven year long exodus (still collecting stuff, but no painting/modelling/playing) and I am astounded by the interest people seem to have.

I never told anybody outside the hobby of it as I know how stupid it might sound to some, so only people who visited my gaming room back then asked what this is all about.

Just recently, my brothers wife saw my chaos army and was immidiately hooked and asked my brother to play against me, as she wants to see how this game is played (my brother also never played it).

So I took my battle board to their house with a few dozen models, explained the rules and off we went. What should I see, they are both absolutely stoked and can't wait to play the next game, as they love the athmosphere and fun it brings.

To give you perspecitve: I'm 30 and they are close to 40.

I also couldn't hide my hobby from my girlfriend and expected a strange reaction, but she was also really interested in it and loved the idea that everybody paints their own army etc.

So in the end: yes, I never mentioned the hobby to "outsiders" because I thought most of them might think it's a stupid/childish waste of time and money, but people of my age or older seem to be interested in it.

Guess the "coolness" of it comes back when one gets older ;)

regards

tuo

ihavetoomuchminis
30-11-2011, 14:16
It's known in the whole world that talking about spending your sparse time painting models and playing with them makes you a girl-magnet.

PD: No, it's a joke, for those who aren't in the know, don't try it.

shandy
30-11-2011, 14:20
First time my girlfriend stayed over in the morning she looked at the bookcase by the bed and asked "so what's dark fantasy roleplaying about then?" She had seen the spine to the Elric\Stormbringer rpg.

Still she's my wife now so can't have scared her too much although she did say much later that her initial thought on reading it was to get out of the house rather quick.

Not ashamed of the hobby as each to their own- if someone clearly does like or get it I don't continue to talk about it just move to a more mutual subject.

Rick Blaine
30-11-2011, 14:23
Hide it? Flaunt it more like, and damn all who dont like it!

Damn right.

Lord of War
30-11-2011, 14:26
I don't bring it up in converastion with people. I'm not ashamed by it. Embarrassed would be the better word with it.

Arhalius
30-11-2011, 14:31
There are a lot worse things be doing with your time and money dude, what about the working class football fans who spend 4 figures to see a champions league game. They save up for months to go for 90 mins of millionare ponces running around.
i know people who spend thier entire weeks wage on booze, and they would say i was wasting money on my hobby. The dumb f**cks who watch x factor and big brother and spend thier money to vote.
At least our hobby promotes creativity, reading and comradery with your fellow players.

Latro_
30-11-2011, 14:33
only ever be ashamed of something if hurts someone else. Other than that, £$% em.

DCLXVI
30-11-2011, 14:37
There are a lot worse things be doing with your time and money dude, what about the working class football fans who spend 4 figures to see a champions league game. They save up for months to go for 90 mins of millionare ponces running around.
i know people who spend thier entire weeks wage on booze, and they would say i was wasting money on my hobby. The dumb f**cks who watch x factor and big brother and spend thier money to vote.
At least our hobby promotes creativity, reading and comradery with your fellow players.

*presses the 'Like' button*

DYoung
30-11-2011, 14:53
I don't exactly advertise my hobby though this is mostly because generally people are fairly disinterested in it. I only really show people my Warhammer if I don't really have a choice. It usually starts with them pointing at my display shelves, asking "What's that?" and then a few awkward minutes of me trying to condense a background written over the last 25-30 years about a game that has hundreds if not thousands of pages of rules into a short synopsis while they feign interest.
I've also never had a girl turned off by it but I've also never had one mention it ever again after that initial, "What's that?" Leading me to believe that they at least have some misgivings about my hobby. That or they have zero interest in model soldiers. The latter seeming a lot more probable.

Commissar Vaughn
30-11-2011, 15:15
@ Dyoung: exactly! There's no point talking about if they arent going to pay attention :D but theres no point concealing it either: If you cant accept what you do how can anyone else accept you?

If it was actually an issue Id have been doubally screwd as I build model railways too! However most of the girls Ive known over the years have been ok with it , and just let me get on with it: One did once give me an ultimatum "The toys go or I do"...havnt seen her since, and before anyone goes "OMG you stupid GEEK! You just threw away the only sex you'll ever even get near!" Id like to point out I met the girl who is now my Fiance a few months later, and she just did her christmas shopping online the other day and immediatly afterwards a MASSIVE box appeared in the cuboard with the words "Maelstrom Games" on the side.

Definatly made the right choice :D

KarlPedder
30-11-2011, 15:15
I think far too many people who are embarrassed or ashamed of the hobby or any similarly "geeky" hobbies fall prey far more often to their own preconcieved notions of what people will think than what people actually do think.

Disinterest is common enough but I don't associate it with any overt negatives, I don't really like sports all that much and find spectator sports to be mind numbing doesn't effect my opinions of the people I know who do....

Sappysid101
30-11-2011, 15:18
Its definutley easier talking to people about the hobby since space marine came out on the xbox, the most unlikely people are willing to try the hobby after trying the game. Otherwise i talk aobut it all the time to most my mates as they all play so thats easy enough. I had to explin to my mum the other day about the significance of painting a chaos knight red or green, that took some talking ;) my girlfriend doesn't care about it either, shes not interested but she doesn't judge me through it which is nice, she even offered to buy me some ^^

- Sid

Bunnahabhain
30-11-2011, 15:20
Nope.

My partner has made great use of my modeling stuff.. She has a large dolls house. Building one of those from scratch. Oddly enough, being able to paint, and do lots of small scale modeling helps no end here.

However, given card games are too complex, I know I have no chance of getting her playing.

Rogue
30-11-2011, 15:27
I have two hobbies that are not exactly mainstream, and this is one of them. I don't advertise my hobby to anyone, nor is this on my facebook page.( I should also say that my facebook page is basically name, rank, serial number) I have a blog where I do all of my hobby talk so I have that kind of outlet. If anyone asks, I am more than happy to talk about it. If anyone gives me a disparaging comment, I reply with "What do you expect? I have an engineering background, I am allowed to have weird hobbies." I met up with an old High School friend a few months back who I used to play with. He was rather hesitant about his painting, until I told him that I still paint my miniatures.

Souleater
30-11-2011, 15:35
Nope. Not in 22 years of gaming.

Fingers
30-11-2011, 15:38
Oh, don't get me wrong. I do show off my models, and tell people about my hobby.. But I still cringe when someone asks how much it costs! I guess I feel sort of selfish spending so much money on myself, when there are so many better causes out there (I hang around a lot of christian idealists)

Just point out that Jesus, much like the Necrons, came back...

Verm1s
30-11-2011, 16:03
... or not, considering the thread's theme of preventing negativity about gamers...


I don't bring it up in converastion with people. I'm not ashamed by it. Embarrassed would be the better word with it.

Ditto. Though when I do mention it, I usually get mild disinterest or genial befuddlement. Whatever the initial reaction, it usually gets swept aside when I mention how much I can get for a sculpt. :angel:

Spleen Hammer
30-11-2011, 16:52
Normally I get weird looks and exclamations of astonishment when it comes to be known that I love tabletop gaming. But it's really no matter as I'm made up of very distinct and sometimes opposing personality traits and personal likes. For instance, I was a HtH combat instructor in the US Marines but I also love to cook. I was a bouncer at a popular club for years but I have a better flower garden than my wife. I'm rabid about American Football but can also talk the balls off a rhino about physics. I'm 6'2" and around 270 pounds and still have around 10% body fat, but I paint pants on little men that I spend too much money on and then get way too competitive about.
I've taught both my sons how to fight (and win) but stress the power of words and compromise.

I don't see how this hobby and anything involved with it can in any way shape or form be something that should be hidden and/or be ashamed of.

nedius
30-11-2011, 17:06
I'd say I border on the 'embarrased' side of things.

Not because I am embarrassed about doing it, but because I know what many people's perceptions of it are. Those on the outside rarely look favourably upon the hobby, and the stereotypes surrounding it are hardly complementary.

As such, explaining to the unititiated that I am not some 30yr old virgin, living with my parents, dressing up as a wizard, with a limited understanding of personal hygene is kind of something I prefer to avoid if I can. The effort required to convince people I'm none of those things (I'm not 30 anymore, live in my own house with my wife, dress up as a Napoleonic Soldier if anything - I reenact, possibly worse than the wizard - and have a robust understanding of the functions of our shower), the effort often looks like a desperate attempt to justify why I'm not what they will only be more convinced that I am anyway.

However, I'm constantly astounded at how much more socially acceptable a number of hobbies that are much more determental to society are.

AngelofSorrow
30-11-2011, 17:12
Never! 13 1/2 years going strong. Anyone asks what I do in my free time my answer is always the same. Tabletop wargaming, animal collector, video gamer and MMA enthusiast. I usually get the response of "What is MMA?"



Ready for eternal war!

laudarkul
30-11-2011, 17:31
I was a little bit at the beginning (5 years ago), but now when I'm over 30 I just do not care. Because it's a hobby which I enjoy (beside reading and playing soccer and traveling).

kaimarion
30-11-2011, 18:34
Not ashamed of the hobby but it is hardly something I advertise to everyone.
Also can never see this ever being a winning conversation "Awrite there darlin want to come see ma Ultramarines".



Though I do find it important to note that I DON'T play Ultramarines.

Zond
30-11-2011, 18:38
I've been ashamed of it and hid it plenty, including not revealing it to my current partner of five years some time into the relationship, to which they responded that they knew anyway so it was all for naught.

All of my close friends are nerdy like myself and have dabbled or are actively involved in Wargames and Roleplaying, so I'm open with them. Outside that circle however, I don't advertise.

tuebor
30-11-2011, 18:51
It's known in the whole world that talking about spending your sparse time painting models and playing with them makes you a girl-magnet.

PD: No, it's a joke, for those who aren't in the know, don't try it.

I don't know, every girl I've ever dated has been either either liked my plastic space mans or has been ambivalent about them. Lots of girls like guys with an artistic side to them. I've even got a few squads of Guardsmen painted by ex-girlfriends because they wanted to try it out.

I wouldn't recommend trying any sort of pickup line involving warhams but hiding them seems really kinda strange to me. If something as minor as you playing with toy soldiers is going to be a deal breaker you'll be better off without her.

Okuto
30-11-2011, 19:10
I have with fantasy....but not with 40k as people tend to understand that a bit more...I always figured it'd be the other way around..

I have a history degree so it's somewhat expected for me...people always assume I'm trying better understand the 80 years war, etc etc. or I'm trying to understand a military theory

Also I live in the Southern USA and we have a bit of a military friendly attitude in my area so our pool of players aren't the usual type...

Commissar Vaughn
30-11-2011, 19:18
Also can never see this ever being a winning conversation "Awrite there darlin want to come see ma Ultramarines".


LOL, If I were still single I would definatly try that at least once...I might suggest it to some of my single mates and see how they do...

ThunderLamb
30-11-2011, 19:44
The only people I don't mention it to are people I work with, simply because it's easier than explaining the hobby.

rodmillard
30-11-2011, 19:46
Ashamed? No. I have very geeky hobbies, and I don't hide any of them (my profile picture on Facebook has me in full LARP kit FFS).

But I am wary of bringing up GW specifically - it's to do with peoples perceptions of GW as a store, rather than the wargaming hobby. Reactions to my various levels of geekery generally run as follows:

LARP: "That's just plain weird" (with about 1 in 10 people following it up with "... so when's the next event?")
Tabletop RPGs: "Oh yeah, I/my ex boyfriend/ex room-mate used to be into that at uni. So you still play - that's cool." (at which point they either wander off or launch into a 30 minute monologue about how great their drow paladin was...)
Historical Wargames: "Oh wow - you must have such a steady hand to get the details right. I could never do anything like that." (either wanders off or confesses to having a large collection in the basement)
Games Workshop: "Hang on ... aren't you, like thirty-something? Why do you hang around a toyshop on your lunchbreak?!" (edges away)

VoodooJanus
30-11-2011, 19:47
Ashamed? Now? Are you kidding me?! These days, my hobbying actually is a bonus. There is, of course, some degree of nerd-directed platitude, but I've gotten that more from other guys than girls. In fact, I've found that girls generally like guys who do nerdy stuff, so long as they don't have the archetypal problems that people tend to believe go along with those hobbies. If you shower, aren't TOO reclusive and look even halfway decent, girls usually end up looking at it as, at the very worst, a cute quirk to them. Being a nerd is actually cool now, and while tabletop stuff isn't quite in the realm of normal coolness, it isn't much of a stretch. We've come almost 180 degrees in the last 30 years (not that I was there for all of those...)
Not to mention, you should never be ashamed of your hobby. What you do is your own business and damn the rest.
To those of you in highschool, I can only tell you that everything is 100x better after senior year. Really.

Joeyoc
30-11-2011, 19:53
When my missus asked me do you have any hobbies when we first met i honestly word for word said ''yeah i do, i play with toy soldiers''
She just shrugged went ok cool, and got on with it.

It is still a geeky hobby. However as many have said before, its not as bad as it used to be, i think most of us remember being at school and it being the course for ridicule.
Now that we get older we think....ah well, we work, have homes and probably more money then most of the douche bags who took the micky out of us.

Its a thing to be proud of not ashamed.

Mr. Ultra
30-11-2011, 19:54
Ever been ashamed of your hobby?

No, luckily I don't live in Greece.

Mr.selfdestruct
30-11-2011, 20:00
I make sure people know Im a gamer and a nerd. I run a tattoo shop, am active at my children's school, and have a giant space marine tattooed on my forearm for all the world to see. Flaunt it, baby! The geek shall inherit the earth.

Cry of the Wind
30-11-2011, 20:04
One of my coworkers knows about it and is interested enough to ask how my latest tournament went. Another one plays himself and the rest I don't acutally deal with personally. As far as outside people go I've never been ashamed and will talk about it once I get to know the person better. Girls I'm actually interested in have all been supportive in one way or another and tend to find it 'cute' at worst.

Mit Gas
30-11-2011, 20:18
Nah. You know, I care enough about my clothes and looks and while "normal" (read: boring!) people might think it's a weird hobby, I'll gladly tell them that 40k (or other geeky/nerdy stuff) interests me. And they always accepted it. Usually, I'll take away their ammo by just admitting that it's childish or nerdy in some ways but I enjoy the story and the art behind it. I'm too old to care what people think and know full well what it is.

I also like science fiction flicks and nobody really complains about those either. Maybe a girlfriend teases you about it (or about those Alien movies you like) but other than that, if you've got other stuff to talk about, nobody will give you crap. Funny thing is, even a guy who was a sworn enemy in high school and somewhat teased me about 40k, now accepts it. Got to know him years later and we're friends now - and I'm still into 40k. It's sometimes that others are just incapable of accepting someone, it's not you who should change - unless you really can't talk about anything but 40k or Star trek, that's quite sad then. :P

Really, in my experience it's always down to how you "sell" people something - whether it's you, your hobbies or at work. If you're sympathetic and don't take yourself too serious, it's hard to find someone who looks down on you for it. Soccer is also a game and it could be said that people who are too much into sports are childish - but so what, it's good to be childish. I don't want to lose all my childish aspects, it's nice to dream and have fun. It's also not a sign of maturity to always chase after girls or get extremely drunk or dance like a madman to some beats, yet people think that's cool. You could just as much put them down for those things.

Juggernaut101
30-11-2011, 20:34
Ashamed? Embarrassed? Hiding miniatures?

R U NUTS???
I have glass cabinets for them. I have friends who spend 200EU a WEEK on booze and clubbing; not to mention the money they spend on clothes. Why on earth should I be ashamed of my hobby? Painting calms and relaxes me, I've been doing it for over 14 years now and I've gotten reasonably good at it.
And to use some German bluntness here: I couldn't care any less about what other people think about my hobby as I usually don't care for theirs at all.

As far as girls + hobby go ... I'm not some deranged missionary. If they're cool with it (or at least tolerant of it) I'll explain what I'm doing and what the "strange men" are for. I don't expect anyone to go all "ooooh" and "aaaah" about my hobby. But if they make some stupid remarks (never happened, btw) I'm more than happy to show them the door.
Course it helps when you have some (read:a lot of) actual literature between the miniature cabinets/shelves, the BL shelf and the "art supplies" shelf.:D
You know, the artist + well read + magic hands angle...

And just to make you guys envious: I met my GF at the local GW (of all the bloody places) , last week we ebayed a large all-metal IG army for her (including 1/2 a dozen tanks). I'm sooooooo envious of the cool old school metals.
Ashamed?:p

Juggernaut

Finn
30-11-2011, 20:44
Honestly? It doesn't really come up. Though when it has -

One girl I had over in college thought it was really cool, was impressed with the details, etc. And when I lived in the dorms I had a card table set up in the middle of my room which was pretty much always covered with some sort of modeling project. I once told a girlfriend "We're going to watch Return of the King and make things out of paper" (templates for dreadnoughts...), to which the response was a simple "Ok." +1 to that.

Current S/O says "there are creatures on the table again" when I've got them out for making some progress... First time she said that, I gave up on any hope of explaining properly and just leave it as is.

Now to get to my real point, this thread says "your hobby". What if my hobby is something other than 40k/wargaming? ;) Like, uh... what's shameful these days?

Commissar Vaughn
30-11-2011, 20:47
"Like, uh... what's shameful these days?"

Are model railways cool yet?

Kijamon
30-11-2011, 20:48
A wee bit but recently I've stopped caring.

I'm 26 now so I can do whatever the hell I want with my life, back when I was 16 I had "street cred" to think about.

Verm1s
30-11-2011, 23:45
I don't see how this hobby and anything involved with it can in any way shape or form be something that should be hidden and/or be ashamed of.

Yeah, but you're a 6'2", 270lb, 10% body fat, ex-bouncer, ex-marine. :p Kinda like the good-looking girl telling her... plain friend, "I don't understand. Guys are always nice to me."

Bunnahabhain
01-12-2011, 00:05
"Like, uh... what's shameful these days?"

Are model railways cool yet?

Well, if you believe Oscar Wilde, then there's always folk dancing and incest.

I help run a folk dance society...

Kakapo42
01-12-2011, 01:37
There was a time when I wasn't. Alas, that has changed as of last year, mainly due to being at High School where a lot of people tend to be fairly judgemental about these things. Nonetheless, if a person seems interested (or I don't think they'll make any judgements), I will happily inform them as best I can.

Perhaps as time goes on I may become more open about my hobby however...

Arvardos
01-12-2011, 02:35
First time I bought a box (starter box with the Space marines and Dark Eldar) my mother freaked out when she found out the price, until I pointed out that I could have easily spent it on drugs or alcohol. Since then she has just been downright supportive!
Also, whenever I post a new photo up on FaceBook she always likes it and comments about how nice it is, even when it's a horrible paint job

Finn
01-12-2011, 02:36
"Like, uh... what's shameful these days?"

Are model railways cool yet?

See now that's funny, because I know plenty of people who set up model railways around their Christmas trees every year.

And by plenty I mean about 3 families. Still, that seems like a fair number. And I mean the real deal, not the wooden track stuff or whatever - the electric track with the winter terrain and all the good bits.

Spleen Hammer
01-12-2011, 03:57
Yeah, but you're a 6'2", 270lb, 10% body fat, ex-bouncer, ex-marine. :p Kinda like the good-looking girl telling her... plain friend, "I don't understand. Guys are always nice to me."
Yeah, but did I mention that I'm ugly as sin from trying to block all those fists and rifle stocks with my face? :p

rocdocta
01-12-2011, 04:02
trying to explain it to your rugby mates when they drop in for a beer can be hard.

"no we dont have kids... yes they are mine...its like chess...with dice...yes i use my mind for fun...no, thats not weird."

Scorpion0x17
01-12-2011, 04:27
First time I bought a box (starter box with the Space marines and Dark Eldar) my mother freaked out when she found out the price, until I pointed out that I could have easily spent it on drugs or alcohol. Since then she has just been downright supportive!
Also, whenever I post a new photo up on FaceBook she always likes it and comments about how nice it is, even when it's a horrible paint job

LOL

Trust me, one could just dip a figure in a pot of paint and ones mum would say how nice it is!

That's what mothers do!

Ghazbad_Facestompa
01-12-2011, 04:39
Never. While I see no reason to mention it unless asked, I also see no reason to hide anything, especially something that interests me.

Pooky
01-12-2011, 04:47
Some of my friends are into the hobby so it's obviously OK to talk about it with them. Conversely, it's not something I would drop on, say, the first date with a girl I am really keen on.

With the last girl I dated, I remember when I told her all about the hobby. We were 3 months into our relationship. I sat her down and said I had something I had not told her. She got all freaked out, like I was an axe murderer or some thing. I told her I was into the hobby and showed her some of the models. I got tense, psyched myself up for endless justifications and points/ counter points/ prepared for the worst and all I got was, "Oh. Is that all?.. Hey, do you want Thai for dinner? I really feel like Thai for dinner." :confused:

konate
01-12-2011, 05:02
Its not something I'm forthcoming with.

I'm a social/athletic single guy of 41 years. I teach high school chemistry in Taiwan and I recently displayed my goblin army to some of the elementary students and it went over really well! One student was really curious about my Lizardman Armybook, since he was such a dinosaur nut (until he found out the price).

With the other foreign teachers (that is, foreign to Taiwan) it didn't go over so well. It was described as "scary" by one 25 year old American woman and I got lots of giggles from the other female teachers. After that, I wasn't about to bring in my Dark Eldar.

A buddy and I tried to bring Blood Bowl to a sports bar in the US. That caused much more of a stir than anticipated. It was halflings vs. humans and the owner came up to our table, saw the pitch, and asked "what's this, Dungeons and Dragons"? When we explained what it was, we got smirks all game and he got no tip. :angel:

My roommate plays as well. He's a bit more shy about it than I. When we go out to the bars, he doesn't want me to mention it to his bar buddies. I don't mind, its a different set of friends with a different purpose. But, I don't really care because my true friends are the ones I game with.

With girls, they don't really seem to like it. I can't say it's kept any away, with any certainty, but it has caused some problems with girls that did admire the hobby. The biggest reason, time. It took me a week to assemble and paint a Land Raider before a tourney. My artistic girlfriend didn't like that at all.

Girls know that all guys will have a 'thing'. For some guys its cars (more expensive than this hobby); others, boats; some, golf; or even other women. Girls just want this male 'thing' to be something they also can appreciate. Creating an imaginary world that they cannot interact with is usually not something they can appreciate.:wtf:

I just wish they could at least appreciate how benign it is relative to some other male 'hobbies'.

Goat of Yuggoth
01-12-2011, 05:05
I did feel embarassed of my hobby in my teens, but now it's quite okay. Lots of my friends actually come visit me to see what I'm working on (and complain about the messy desk), and I usually let them try out painting with something I don't mind stripping later on (something like zombies or gaunts).

My mom was sceptical at the costs (as rightfully any mom should be concerned about money), but when she saw me painting and then bringing that latest piece to her with gleaming joyful eyes, I think she understood that it's more than a hobby and never again complained about messy desks (she changed that to "paint those models that you just bought, I want to see them finished!").
It's something like makeup for women is. It keeps you happy. I mean, have you ever had days at work when you're all "I just finished assembling my army, it looks so cool on the table!" and you're feeling very positive for the accomplishment? It shows.
One day when I had just painted a Carnifex, the first ever 40k model, about four people asked whether it was my birthday :wtf: they then explained that I just shimmered with joy and they thought I'd just turned 18 or something..

And girls, you say? All of my previous ones wanted to paint miniatures because I am rather indulged when I paint, so they wanted to socialize. one of them hated miniatures and everything geeky, so I urged her to paint just one miniature. Afterwards she decided they were not so bad after all :D

Current girlfriend actually had never heard of miniatures before, and I may have driven her into another hobby accidentally ;) We're planning on getting some two player miniature game for just the two of us to paint and play. She absolutely loves that I have a hobby with minimal injury risks (other than cut fingers), and one that you don't have to go out of the house to partake in.

So yeah, nothing but good for me in this hobby, I have a suggestion for you guys that struggle:

If someone tries to make fun of you personally, just ask them "have you ever tried this game? Or painting?" The answer is most certainly no, and then you can just strike back by asking again: "What hobbies do you have then?" and the answer is quite often some sport or perhaps skating or something. Then you simply jut out: "Well, I tried that once." or "Haven't tried it, but always wanted to." Then, propose that the two of you try out each other's hobbies just to be equal in the debate, and ask them afterwards was it really that crap?

OR if you live in the US just sue their ass's!

Cheers,
Goat

Scaryscarymushroom
01-12-2011, 05:19
I'm sure I've been ashamed of my hobby at some point. I think it was when I realized that I had accrued over $1,000 worth of models. I drifted away from the hobby for a couple years, and then I realized that I honestly enjoy it enough to justify my spending.

@ The OP:

Two things regarding the cost of the hooby.

1) Look at it from a Time spent=Value perspective. On a $40 Space Marine Tactical Squad I have spent roughly 4 hours trimming, cleaning, assembling, and priming the models. It takes me approximately 1 hour to paint a model to a standard that I can be happy with. Sometimes more. Add time to base all the models, and time to paint their bases, and I will take 15+ hours to make a single Tac Squad. And I haven't even started playing games with them yet.

My friends will spend more money on a video game and spend less time playing with it. Ignoring all other factors, which is the better investment?

2) It is possible to engage in aspects of the hobby that don't cost so much. Granted, GW does price pretty high, but you'd be amazed at what you can do with sheets of plastic, balsa wood, dowels, and garbage... Including make terrain to spice up your games.

Finn
01-12-2011, 05:54
1) Look at it from a Time spent=Value perspective. On a $40 Space Marine Tactical Squad I have spent roughly 4 hours trimming, cleaning, assembling, and priming the models. It takes me approximately 1 hour to paint a model to a standard that I can be happy with. Sometimes more. Add time to base all the models, and time to paint their bases, and I will take 15+ hours to make a single Tac Squad. And I haven't even started playing games with them yet.

2) It is possible to engage in aspects of the hobby that don't cost so much. Granted, GW does price pretty high, but you'd be amazed at what you can do with sheets of plastic, balsa wood, dowels, and garbage... Including make terrain to spice up your games.

QFT. Also, unless you're a plasti-crack addict, the cost tails off as you get older. At least, I don't notice it so much anymore. I think I spent most of my money on the stuff in high school and first couple of years of college (all my Nids, all my Marines, start of my Guard). Since then I've only added to the Guard a bit here and there, bought stuff for scratchbuilding, and built a Chaos army. Most of my costs incurred, at least on models directly, were in the first 7 years I played - about $1500. In the 6 years since I've spent maybe $500.

Scratchbuilding, kitbashing, and so forth is a true joy for little cost.

gamble
01-12-2011, 06:12
Yeah by most of the people it attracts.

Battleworthy Arts
01-12-2011, 06:27
Never.

Its as much a part of me as my right arm.

Jonny_N
01-12-2011, 10:20
I work as a lifeguard and I am not worried for one second what anyone else thinks of my hobbies. I wear an Aquila pendant and I am never ashamed of my hobbies. My girlfriend got into warhammer and took the time to learn about the lore in order to understand a little more about me, as I have for her. I have been a fan of the hobby for over 20 years and I feel I should have nothing to hide, why should anyone be ashamed of their hobbies?

Goat of Yuggoth
01-12-2011, 12:22
My girlfriend got into warhammer and took the time to learn about the lore in order to understand a little more about me, as I have for her.

We're doing pretty much the same, I'm learning Russian, and she's learning miniature games - fluff, terms, techniques, rules... ...I guess she got the hard part, I'm good at languages :D

Cheers,
Goat

Tayrod
01-12-2011, 12:36
, why should anyone be ashamed of their hobbies?
I think you may have meant this as a rhetorical questions, but Im going to go ahad and answer it anyway.

Well, as I've mentioned, I feel a bit silly squandering my money on it. Especially with the high prices. For one thing, it makes me feel like a "stupid fanboy", or "hooked" if you will, still buying GW when they keep up upping the prices. I also feel like I have to justify spending so much on something that's strictly not nessecary, when people are starving in other countries.

Another thing that's been mentioned in this thread is the "geek image". Alot of people dont want to be associated with the awkward-14-year-old stereotype. If you go through the 4 last pages, you'll see an alarming amount of people having comments where they mention
a) their girlfriends
b) their muscles
or
c) other "sport" hobbies.
When all these things are often pretty unrelated to the topic. It almost feels like some people are trying to say "No, I dont have a problem with my hobby BECAUSE Im a well adjusted hunk with a beautifull girlfriend, and I was also the star Quarterback on my High School football team". Almost as if they are trying to distance themselves from the stereotype. This in itself might be evidence that some people are more "ashamed" then they care to admit.
(Im might be completely wrong about this however, and I dont mean to insult someone or start a flame war - this is a comment about the posts in general, not any specific users)

Another thing, which might have bothered me if I lived close enough to a GW to frequent it, is the large amount of youngsters in the hobby. Dont get me wrong, it's cool that kids play, but I dont think I would feel comfortable being the only 20ish guy in a crowd of teenagers.

Sinnertje
01-12-2011, 12:41
My pickup line; 'hi, I'm Dominic and I paint little plastic dolls and play a game with them with other grown-ups.' If it works, I know I've got someone with humour at the least. And yes, it does work sometimes.

Tayrod
01-12-2011, 12:42
With girls, they don't really seem to like it. I can't say it's kept any away, with any certainty, but it has caused some problems with girls that did admire the hobby. The biggest reason, time. It took me a week to assemble and paint a Land Raider before a tourney. My artistic girlfriend didn't like that at all.

(...)
Girls just want this male 'thing' to be something they also can appreciate. Creating an imaginary world that they cannot interact with is usually not something they can appreciate.:wtf:


I'd just like to thank you for this comment! I tend to get pretty wrapped up in my wargaming "work", and this really made me think!

Commissar Vaughn
01-12-2011, 13:02
I feel you are correct when it comes to B and C there: they are not directly linked to the subject matter, but I think that A definatly is, though its not limited to girls, you could easily apply it to "other people". Indeed, many of the posts so far havnt been limited to how the posters hobbies are recieved by girls and girlfriends but also by work colleagues and family members etc, other social groups and the like.

Any discussion about embarresment or shame on a subject is naturally going to revolve around how other people react to it in your own experience: If they redicule and belittle it will result in shame/shyness/embarresment etc, if they accept and embrace it builds confidence etc. (obviously this doesnt account for bloody minded individuals who dont care, or who stopped caring!).

"A)" will alwyas be more concerned with the reactions of girls though simply becouse most wargamers are male: NOT simply becouse males are primarily concerned with how females percieve them (which is part of it and true, otherwise procreation wouldn't stand a chance!) but becouse if you're a gamer your male friends (or a group of them) are likely to already be involved with the same hobby or something similar so they have already accepted what you do! They are probably the biggest or main group of individuals of all the various groups you interact with: of the remainder "girls" is probably the next biggest subset (as it encompasss most of the other groups like colleagues/friends/family etc) and therefore your main measure of how your hobby will recieved by those around you. In effect you already "know" how other males will react (i.e some will share the interest, some won't and crucially, if you are male, you already know how you would react and therefore you have a reference point to compare all other male opinions to) But you dont "know" how the other main group i.e females will react becouse you arent one!

Also its true that success in sexual relationships (i.e the ability to attract a mate, or several) is an important and unavoidable part of the male psyche: we are competative, and hierarcical by nature and sexual success is one of the highest scores you are judged on and instantly effects how you judge yourself, how your peers judge you and where you end up in the pecking order.


"It almost feels like some people are trying to say "No, I dont have a problem with my hobby BECAUSE Im a well adjusted hunk with a beautifull girlfriend, and I was also the star Quarterback on my High School football team"." In a way they are: Success results in increaced confidence which results in greater success, or at least being able to push yourself furthur...



I really hope all that made some kind of sense, it did in my head...

Edit: I should probably add that vindication by sexual success is not limited to geeks or wargamers: ALL males (well most anyway) will brag about the stunner they pulled, how massive her chesticles were, and how much of a goer she was, even if she was a complete munter it will always turn out that she had a redeeming feature that increaces or reinforces said males status within his social group...so get used to it.

DuskRaider
01-12-2011, 13:26
I'm not ashamed of this hobby at all. Look at It this way... I'm 29 and I have two kids. I'm not out to impress anyone. A lot of people more often than not are kind of taken by surprise when I say I play a game like this, because I don't fit the stereotype cellar dweller. That's usually when I point out all of the different people that I regularly game with or have gamed with, including a lot of "hardcore" servicemen, guys from pretty popular local metal bands, athletes, etc. I've actually gotten a lot of people interested in the hobby once they see it's not all a bunch of socially awkward mouth breathers and 40 year old virgins. So no, never once have I been embarrassed of my hobby. Women even think its cool that I can paint things as well as I do. And if they don't, who cares? At least myself and most of you are participating in a social game and not sitting on our arses all day playing WoW.

Azulthar
01-12-2011, 13:35
I'm a bit embarrassed. I know it's not considered a "cool" or "mature" hobby, and I'd like to be considered both cool and mature :p

I never hide it though, as the rational part of my brain says I have nothing to be embarrassed about.

Inquisitor Shego
01-12-2011, 13:46
There are people in this qrld who will point and laugh and say LOL, toy soldiers. Most have never tried the hobby. These same people will watch 22 overpaid people kick a sphere for 90 minutes (Football), pay money to vote on a scripted karoke contest (X Factor), or tune vehicles in their garage to speeds they cannot legally follow (street race).

I happen to love cars, football, and at times X Factor... For the bad rehersals. I used to be ashamed when I was about sixteen. Now I come to realise my happiness is more important than what people think of me. As long as its not hurting anyone, anyway

Verm1s
01-12-2011, 13:48
There was a time when I wasn't. Alas, that has changed as of last year, mainly due to being at High School where a lot of people tend to be fairly judgemental about these things. Nonetheless, if a person seems interested (or I don't think they'll make any judgements), I will happily inform them as best I can.

Perhaps as time goes on I may become more open about my hobby however...

It might not be much of a comfort right now, one year in, but it does get better.



When all these things are often pretty unrelated to the topic. It almost feels like some people are trying to say "No, I dont have a problem with my hobby BECAUSE Im a well adjusted hunk with a beautifull girlfriend, and I was also the star Quarterback on my High School football team". Almost as if they are trying to distance themselves from the stereotype. This in itself might be evidence that some people are more "ashamed" then they care to admit.
(Im might be completely wrong about this however, and I dont mean to insult someone or start a flame war - this is a comment about the posts in general, not any specific users)

Well said. :) A couple of extra things that irritate me about the question are the unnecessary accusation and the subsequent sense of obliviousness. E.g. Spleen Hammer: my point was I bet you don't get much hassle because people associate you more with the Incredible Hulk than Fabio. ;) Some of us don't have either. Or an impressive background. Thanks to the short, sharp shock of high school, I'm still a bit wary of letting anyone know anything about me, let alone my gaming habits.

Commandojimbob
01-12-2011, 13:51
I dont typically advertise my hobby, but neither do I hide it - a lot of friends dont really know about it (some found out recently) because it has not come up in discussion, and my models are usually packed away when not using.

We were round friends the other night for a dinner party, and my wife dropped it into the conversation for a laugh - there were a few giggles but then a discussion brew on what it was, what is it about (some had a rough idea), with one of my friends saying "Oh yeah, my younger brother (well he is 24) does Warhammer - it makes christmas and birthday really easy to buy for him, its not a cheap hobby thoug !"

I then did latch onto and exploit the fact it aint cheap and is a bit of a luxury item :) Most other people who have seen my models dont really bat an eyelid or say anything, and the only person who takes the **** is my Dad - but that is friendly banter !

To be honest I am 30, most of our friends are 28-35 years old - we have gone past the point of caring about such things - one of my mates who was hosting said party - loves football stats, even looking at attendance......

Brother Ranz
01-12-2011, 16:57
In an age when so many are simply buying a disc and playing it until they get bored, our hobby stands above to anyone who thinks about it. It is more social, takes a lot more talent and when you finish a game, you have something to show for it. Some idiots like the teachers in Taiwan mentioned above, find it scary because it involves brainpower, warlike themes and is, OH NOOOOOO, competitive. One player wins and the other loses. No one likes that anymore.

Sent from my 8 year old Laptop via a keyboard that frankly kind of disgusts me.

Carlosophy
01-12-2011, 17:40
Wargaming will always be a nerdy pastime. Anything involving painting little toy soldiers and then renacting battles on kitchen tables with piles of dice, incomprehensible rulebooks and polystyrene buildings will always raise a few laughs but it also has a high level of realworld social interaction, mathematics, creativity, craftsmanship and comraderie.

Tamwulf
01-12-2011, 17:44
I used to be ashamed a long time ago, and would never tell anyone what my hobbies were. Now that the world has embraced the Nerd/Geek, I'm very open about it. After making some money and gaining some "street cred" in the gaming industry, I openly embrace it, and anyone that asks, I tell them I play with little toy soldiers.

I'm reminded of a time back in 2003 at GENCON, the first year it moved there. The Indianapolis Colt's stadium was attached to the convention center, and the Colts played a pre-season game vs. the Packers, and I remember seeing this horde of blue/white, green/yellow jerseys everywhere. People had their faces painted, big foam fingers, signs, foam cheese hats... and I remember passing a couple guys that muttered something along the lines of "<expletive> Nerds! Why do they have be here? They need to get a life!". This from the guy wearing a Colts jersey, with his face painted blue, and a big cardboard fence sign he was carrying to the game.

I chuckled.

Phaeron Setek
01-12-2011, 18:07
Why would anyone be ashamed of this as a hobby? I can understand thinking its expensive (because it is) and nerdy (because it is), but if you object to any of the aforementioned things, then why do it? I've been playing for close to 13 years, and I have never felt that the hobby I chose (yes, willingly chose) was in any way shameful.

If someone is ashamed in any way about their hobby, they shouldn't have it as a hobby.

crandall87
01-12-2011, 18:13
I learned a long time to not be ashamed of anything and just be yourself. If other people don't like it then it's their problem. That said I don't mention the hobby when chatting up women lol

Dylius
01-12-2011, 19:27
I for one are proud to be a nerd!

I don't have a problem with Warhammer in my secondary school; I just treat it as a bit of fun when people ask me (i.e. "Woah, look how cool I am, collecting little plastic men then playing with them!") - I don't broadcast it across the school playground though...

loveless
01-12-2011, 19:36
As a personal preference, I only consort with nerds. It's far more likely, I've found, for me to be surprised at some of the things brought up, in that "Uh...wow...thanks for sharing...I'm going to go stand over there now" sort of way.

I definitely think some of the older nerds assume I'm much younger than I actually am, as the locals often talk to me with the "you've no experience in this, so listen!" tone (especially amusing was the one who tried to describe Imperial background to me).

So, short answer - no, I'm not ashamed. Even the finished pieces that I'm ashamed of (ugh...damn you craft store paint!) end up getting "oohs" and "aahs" and one of the LGS owners keeps asking me to bring stuff in for her to look at (which is why I should probably focus on an army instead of "whatever the hell Loveless wants to paint").

Loveless: Nerd, and proud.

doubleT
01-12-2011, 20:21
No, I'm not ashamed of my hobby or my miniatures. Sure, they're not something I advertise or talk about on a job interview or a first date and I won't show them around when a girl visits, but it's not that I'd deny it or lie about it.

But when I see some people in the hobby stores or really freaky nerds being exploited on TV, I feel terribly embarrassed to share the hobby with them, because people could get the impression that a majority of gamers are like this.

For example the WHFB player on a German TV show where they try to "style" some nerds and this guy sits on his floor, shoving around some knights and making battle sounds, declaring "this is warhammer" ...
Or the loud guys in the stores that "'ave to talk da orky way" to identify with their army. Or those guys that never seem to have learned what a shower or deodorant is.

A close female friend of mine wanted to know about Warhammer and went to a GW store to look around. Before that, she called me a nerd and sometimes a freak. After that she said I was the most normal person. Sadly, I can just imagine what sort of guys she saw there ...

And yeah, MLP-themed armies – that are ment serious, unlike some other joke-armies – make me feel embarrassed to share the hobby with them, aswell.

doubleT: Nerd, but not a freak.

Jacktheripper34
01-12-2011, 20:42
I was for years, soon as I hit my 20's tho I just stopped caring. (no I'm not a loner shut in, I'm the head of all male Greek life at a large northern university) I don't advertise it but I don't hide it either. My buddy's think it's weird but respect the fact that I'm a damn good painter. Girls... Ok I hide it from most girls at first, no reason for a one night stand to know, but If she starts coming around more often then shell eventually see and I'll do my best to explain. Usually they just roll their eyes and say something along the lines of "oh that's weird/cute" or "you're lucky you're cute"

Either way it's what I do for "me time" I like it and that's what matters

chromedog
01-12-2011, 21:18
Ashamed?
No.
Embarrassed?
No.

I didn't advertise it, but if it came up, I never denied it. If Girls didn't like it, too bad - I moved on. The wife thinks it's a cool hobby.

I've been playing and collecting for around 25 years.
I've still spent less than a new cheap car would cost me - also less than the deposit for a house.

I've known Magic players who've spent more than me IN A SINGLE YEAR.
I call them proof of PT Barnum's adage.

Adra
01-12-2011, 21:41
I to love being a nerd. Its so nice to have feel kinda awkward in school and this i was wrong to be a bit nerdy and then to grow up and realise that im so much more happy being who i am than i ever was trying to be something else. Massive happy nerd i be.

I do sometimes get a bit ashamed but only around my workmates because I am still a bit new to the job and telling them, but they are great about it and never make fun so that will pass. My father always gives me a bit of a hard time about being lame for using tiny models but hes an old git so who cares what he thinks :P

Rogerio
01-12-2011, 22:20
Hmm a little bit, i play for 2 football teams and am a footie fanatic go out and get drunk etc typical british lad sort of behaviour but i also love 40k and gaming etc.

My mates who play footie come round mine often for pre drinking and playing PS3 etc and see my models and all think its pretty cool, alot of them used to collect when they were 12-13 and know what 40k is!

My gf thinks its cute and paints the odd model at times, shes getting me a FW broadside for xmas along with some other stuff and she thinks its too expensive but generally likes it.

Faeslayer
01-12-2011, 22:30
I am regularly ashamed of how many models I still have to paint.

Finn
01-12-2011, 22:38
I am regularly ashamed of how many models I still have to paint.

A thousand times this. What about how many models you have left to convert/build? That one gets me too.

Gertjan
01-12-2011, 23:19
I'm not ashamed at all of my hobby. I don't advertise it either, not due to being ashamed but a lot of people don't know about it and I simply don't feel like explaining it all the time what it is about toy soldier that attracts a 30y old. When I was in school I would hide it, the whole geek/nerd image etc was pretty bad there so I kept it to myself. Nowadays I couldn't care less of what people think of my hobbies as they are exactly that, my hobbies and not theirs :D.

Besides, anyone who sits on his bum behind the tv has no right to ridicule a person who actually does something costructive/creative during those same hours :p

Kakapo42
01-12-2011, 23:36
It might not be much of a comfort right now, one year in, but it does get better.

I might have badly worded my post a bit there. I did not mean to say that I have only just entered high school (next year will be my last there in fact), rather that high school has only made my hobby a problem within the last couple of years (at first I was rather on the fringes of the high school 'society', so it was less of a concern then you see). Sorry if I caused any confusion.

I have noticed one of the major concerns among many here is the cost of the hobby. But I have always justified it by arguing that it is not particularly different to people who happily pour equal amounts of money into such pursuits as designer outfits or extravagantly decorated living rooms.:p

Deroga
02-12-2011, 01:11
I've never had an issue with it over the last 12 years of being in the hobby (started in 10th grade while living in a small east Texas town). No one cared then really..they didn't understand it, but no one did more than innocent teasing really.

Now I work in the oilfield, and my wife MUCH prefers me to play with little toys instead of the usual oilfield behavior of strip joints and whoremongering.

I've never hid this hobby from girls...in fact I've USED it to get girls lol. Anytime I can sneak in how I'm a big dork and compair myself to the 40 yr old virgin has worked like diamonds...no idea why. I think it shows a sense of humor, and is endeering (Sp?)

xxRavenxx
02-12-2011, 08:02
100% of my hobby related shame is seeing the actions of other gamers...

You all know who I mean. That guy with no social skills who's in your gaming club, who spots someone with two X chromosomes and starts screaming WO-MAN! like animal from the muppets... (incidently, if you don't know that guy, chances are you are that guy. Sorry you had to find out like this :P )

Freakiq
02-12-2011, 08:31
Never.

Those who are unaware of the hobby even tend to admire my paintjobs and custom sculpts.

orkmiester
02-12-2011, 12:04
may have been a few years ago...

now i couldn't give a damm;)

just don't broadcast it all over the place.

its funny i find how in 'everyday' life you bump into people who have heard of the hobby, one way or the other. Of course you don't mention it, until it happens to spring up in a conversation then proceed with caution:shifty:.


I have noticed one of the major concerns among many here is the cost of the hobby. But I have always justified it by arguing that it is not particularly different to people who happily pour equal amounts of money into such pursuits as designer outfits or extravagantly decorated living rooms.


well said good sir:cool:

of course said living room will have to be decorated again in the furture= more money spent:rolleyes:

of course in this day and age dare i say it- we are not spending it on drink and other percieved 'social evils' (perhaps a little drink here and there:shifty:)


That guy with no social skills who's in your gaming club, who spots someone with two X chromosomes and starts screaming WO-MAN! like animal from the muppets... (incidently, if you don't know that guy, chances are you are that guy. Sorry you had to find out like this :P )

that is the kind of person i hate with an absolute passion and usually means they are full of BS (i implied i didn't say it:shifty::eek:;)) of course they don't take too kindly to being soundly thrashed.

then again most of the gamers i know are decent people, unlike some i have encoured in a GW store...

bosky
02-12-2011, 20:32
Pssh why be ashamed of miniature gaming when HG Wells was writing rules for it 98 years ago (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Wars). He was a successful ol' chum, so why feel any worse about having a hobby that stimulates the mind, is fairly social, and is generally wholesome compared to a lot of alternative time fillers.

Myrmidon616
02-12-2011, 20:43
I think I'm more embarrassed of my taste of music than I am of playing warhammer :D. From what others have said, I think most people will meet the news with either interest or disinterest (mostly the later). Those that meet it with derision are frankly, not worth your time.

To use music as an example, if its something everyone has a vested 'interest' in (who doesn't like music?) then there's going to be more chance of opposing preferences and all that (Mods and Rockers, that sought of thing). :chrome:

Askari
02-12-2011, 21:05
Nope, don't give a rats. Never have.

MistaGav
02-12-2011, 21:19
I'm not ashamed about the hobby but at the same time I don't go gloating about it or constantly mention it. If anyone does ask I just try to act as casual about it as possible and most of my friends don't mind or compliment my painting.

The only people who really give me grief are my sister and step mum but I just ignore the stuff they say. I'm 21, largely independant and I don't let it dominate my life because after all...it is a hobby! I would rather have it than nothing at all.

loveless
02-12-2011, 21:24
I think I'm more embarrassed of my taste of music than I am of playing warhammer :D.

Hmm...come to think of it, I think I get more flak from people for watching Glee than I ever have for playing games...

konate
03-12-2011, 09:54
You watch Glee?!? :wtf::p

colonel kane trine
03-12-2011, 10:06
Ive never cared what people think about the hobby that I love!
Im proud and out when it comes to being a warhammer geek

merdreth
03-12-2011, 14:45
No, luckily I don't live in Greece.
hahahaha indeed dude even we got an outcry from a big newspaper the other week here in greece among other things they called us fascists,elitists etc eyc
maybe in the us or the uk things arent as as bad as here...

Arhalius
03-12-2011, 17:22
[QUOTE=konate;5947492]You watch Glee?!? :wtf::p[/QUO

Gotta admit i would rip on someone for watching that, i wont even have conversations with people who talk about x factor or stricty because i will end up strangling them.

Damien 1427
03-12-2011, 18:30
I tried writing this post three times, and each time, I felt the tangent was going nowhere. As much as I dislike what you could call "mainstream" pastimes, I'm not going to slate people for liking them. However, I would rather people extend the same courtesy to me.

So, in answer to your question, no.

bork da basher
03-12-2011, 18:38
im not ashamed of my hobby but people have made fun of me for it in the past...then i tell them i make a lot of money from it and ask how much they make from their hobbies and it sort of shuts them up.

i love my hobby its been good to me for 17 years and while expensive it costs alot more to go out drinking all the time which is about all there is to do around here as an alternative.

be proud of what you do who cares if people dont like it they are 99% of time ignorant of what it actually involves anyway. educate them and you might find they will like it too

joevmt
03-12-2011, 18:39
I am not shy to talk about it. My entire family thinks I am weird when I sit in my room alone painting for hours. My girlfriend thinks its a waste of money but I have been trying to convince her about why I like it so much. Whenever people ask me about hobbies, I always talk about it.

Threeshades
03-12-2011, 18:42
Many hobbies are expensive, some even more than this one.

Ace Rimmer
03-12-2011, 19:03
I'm not embarrassed at all, even though I've had people stick their heads out of car windows and shout abuse at me before walking down the street away from GW stores before.

I work with a few other people who have war gamed in the past of who still occasionally dabble and hide it and I respect their decision to do so, war games have always had a stigma about them that isn't going to disappear overnight. People are often afraid of or derogatory towards things they don't understand.

If people actually try to be derisory about my hobbies, I just ask them what their hobbies are and return the favour. They soon realise what a douche-bag they were being.

tuebor
03-12-2011, 19:33
I'm not embarrassed at all, even though I've had people stick their heads out of car windows and shout abuse at me before walking down the street away from GW stores before.

This kinda blows my mind.

Deamon-forge
03-12-2011, 19:39
i used to but now im like yea i play with little toy soldiers.

Skidman
03-12-2011, 19:49
I'll be completely honest I have never been willing to hide who I am as a person. In that same vein I choose not to hide the fact that I play / build / paint plastic toy soldiers, I may not go out and shout it to the world but if you were to come over to my house you would see my models sitting out and about in various stages of completion along with my video games. If you enjoy something then why hide it?

Chapters Unwritten
03-12-2011, 19:52
I know I have.

For me, it's not the "you play with toys" bit that annoys me, it's when they ask how much my toys cost, and how much I spend annually.

Am I alone in sometimes wanting to hide my hobby away?My experience as an outspoken club leader speaks to this common trend, unfortunately. My club has moved forward in many aspects but despite having some of the best local gaming in 40k they have resisted the rise to prominence at every step of the way. I am constantly amazed by how many people who are ashamed that they do this.

We have many members who disappear for weeks at a time, only because they can only show up when no one else is expecting to do something on our scheduled meeting day.

We recently partnered with a senior masterclass modeling group who put our stuff on display in a museum for a weekend. Almost no one wanted their models to be in the display; those that did, did not want their names mentioned.

I built the club an intricate website which marries to our forum, so that anyone with a forum account can post articles to it and, pending approval, they go public and get posted to our facebook page. Despite constant tactical discussion being one of the running themes of the club, no one has used this feature.

At a point we had a theft at the store, which I responded to by wanting to have a sign-in sheet each week. The member base adamantly refused on the grounds of this being a big brother-esque invasion of privacy, but the debate centered almost solely on people simply not wanting their names used; they had no resistance at all to me taking some kind of personal, private attendance.

Our forum requires registering your first and last name. Almost no one puts in their full last name.

The club actually wants me to take our website (www.evildice40k.com) down, because the things I have written on it are geared toward promoting the club, which they don't want. They are very xenophobic toward the high quality of the promotional material (I'm a graphic designer, so all of our posters, supplements, etc. are very much a higher quality compared to most you'd see in our area); many members have articulated to me that they "don't want to become the next Bell of Lost Souls" and things of that nature. What's sad is that it's such a great bunch of players who just hit every note of what makes this game great; if we ever did become a huge site, their player attitudes would probably help change the cynical "This game is unplayably bad and poorly written/balanced" attitude to be a bit more realistic in the grand scheme of things.

This all reflects very poorly on me, as I've put a lot of blood sweat and tears into the group over it's 4-5 year run. I've done all this practically unpredented stuff (at least locally) because I care about the player base, but because I am the only one not ashamed enough to put my name on what we do, they have in many cases accused me of "using the club to advance my own status" in the 40k community.

Ultimately I don't find 40k any more expensive than any other hobby I've ever had, so when people do scoff at me about it, I am quick to point out a box of models I'll use for years to come is less money than your average video game, etc. etc.

Also I want to just say this...in my experience, the people who are most deprecating about this hobby, are those of us in it. People respond to how we perceive ourselves. While the hobby does attract a lot of social screwups, it is important that we remember that, so long as we behave like we are perceived as self-deprecating losers...we will be perceived as self-deprecating losers. I tell everyone I meet that I do this, and I'm proud of it. Maybe if more of us were, it wouldn't be so horrifying to tell people about it.

I mean look at the posts above. "Yeah I play with little toy soldiers." This term, to me, is derogatory, and I don't like to use it -- and especially hate when people argue something and try to glaze it over with "hey it's only little plastic space mans" or some such *****. Like you are some kind of fool, "Hah! You actually care about this? Well I totally don't, I am nowhere near nerdy to care about this (even though I spent months working my ass off and thousands of dollars to play this game just like you did)."

baphomael
03-12-2011, 21:27
I mean look at the posts above. "Yeah I play with little toy soldiers." This term, to me, is derogatory, and I don't like to use it -- and especially hate when people argue something and try to glaze it over with "hey it's only little plastic space mans" or some such *****. Like you are some kind of fool, "Hah! You actually care about this? Well I totally don't, I am nowhere near nerdy to care about this (even though I spent months working my ass off and thousands of dollars to play this game just like you did)."

I will often refer to my hobby as 'playing with little toy soldiers' because, well, that is exactly what it is. I don't do so in order to affect some kind of cool air of distance from what is a 'geeky' hobby. No, I describe it as such because that is what it is.

I play with little toy soldiers.

The thing is, that's nothing to be ashamed about. Referring to it as 'little toy soldiers' might make it sound childish, but in some respects it is. But thats no reason to hide it, or a reason to try and justify it as seeming something more cerebral than it actually is. I like to play with toy soldiers because I'm a big kid at heart - and that is something to embrace, not hide from or gloss over.

I think we should all happily embrace the inner kid who enjoys his super space men blasting away the green muscle aliens, or his awesome Terminator-piloted death-tank that mows down some of those almost-like-the-aliens-from-aliens dudes. As a species, I think we kinda need this... theres already enough 'serious' or 'stressful' activities - be it in the realms of school, university, work, or one's personal life.

Afterall, there is a reason why people squee over nostalgic things - deep down, its still something that makes you happy... so why not let it make you happy?

Scorpion0x17
03-12-2011, 23:05
Something kinda related (particularly to the last two posts):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHwXlcHcTHc

Mostwanted
04-12-2011, 00:01
I have found this thread pretty interesting. Iím at the stage of selling all my 40k stuff because I admit I do feel embarrassed about the hobby. I donít know anyone else that plays 40k so that doesnít help me. When I was in my school years I had friends that did and that was fine, I had no problems with the hobby and regularly talked about it with them. They then seemed to grow out of it just leaving me in it. I have quit the hobby a couple of times now, still keeping all my models. Then I always get drawn back to it. I was into the gaming side of things way back, now I like the modelling side of the hobby.
I find on the odd times I go into a GW store it is full of young kids or extremely geeky people doing thinks making shooting noises when they play and talk as if what they are doing is real life. I am happy for people to really get into the hobby and enjoy it which is what they are doing but that isnít me so I feel a bit uncomfortable and out of place. Also I havenít got a problem with children in the hobby, as I was one once in a GW store. Like someone has already said on here I just feel weird being the oldest person (only mid 20ís) and in a store full of children being involved in the same hobby. I also always seem have an experience of people who need to wash more than then do that are in the stores, no matter which ones in the country Iíve been to.
People have said before that they donít fit in with the typical Ďgeekí and I do feel the same. The only thing I can say that I do that would make me seem geeky is the hobby. I have lots of other interests that range from sports like running and football to having a blast on my Triumph Daytona motorbike and socialising with friends and family. I was also in the Royal Marines and do have social skills (Iím not saying people on here donít have, just that the stereotypical warhammer gamer does not and I have witnessed this in my time in the hobby).
I live in a house that I brought with my girlfriend, we had been together for about three years before and never knew I was into the hobby. When I moved all my stuff into the house I boxed everything up and it went straight into the loft. She saw the boxes and asked whatís that. Thatís when I told her about it, but instead of saying I wanted to get back into it I said I could paint the stuff up to sell to make money out of it. My plan was to paint everything up then keep it ;) She didnít say much, just that I could see she thought it was a bit sad.
I still like the idea of collecting a large army that is well painted and modelled. I consider myself to be a reasonable painter. But the amount of time it will take up to do what I want with the hobby, I feel will be too much for my girlfriend to be happy with. I also know that my friends will give me stick if they know I do it. I know I should do something if it makes me happy but a large part of the hobby makes me feel a bit uncomfortable mainly because of peopleís reactions to it.
Having read this thread is making me re think again as I know I will enjoy the hobby again, itís just that I donít feel comfortable with all the stigma about it. Most people see it for what it is, painting little toy soldiers and I know most people wonít understand the appeal of it. So Iím at a cross roads with it, sell everything and forget about it or let my small bit of geekyness out and tell the Mrs this is also what I like doing from time to time.

Deroga
04-12-2011, 02:42
I have tourettes syndrome as well. Sometimes I wish they made a pill "tourrettes for a day" , that way alot of people would stop worrying about looking stupid :D

rwatts
04-12-2011, 07:44
most wanted i am exactly the same as you in regards to the hobby. while trying to work and take part in sport i don't have the time to go to a store and meet a group of gamers as sports clash with club nights. we shouldn't feel the way we do but being without a group of gamers we have built relationships with circles of friends that don't share our interest and we also have a fair idea how our social groups would react to our hobby. i suppose i would focus on the painting aspect to introduce it to people i know, saying i find it relaxing etc, but given none of them play whats the point in bringing it up? i still paint now and again and keep an eye on whats happening but i dont tell people about it as there is no real point, though i do rationally think they would be more accepting than i fear lol. Our problem is we don't have a social group to connect our hobby to and have therefore filled up time with other hobbies and social groups which were more accessible at the time without this being part of our identity, and never felt the need to mention it.

prowla
04-12-2011, 18:43
Laughs, people who most give you crap about miniatures, are people without real hobbies themselves. Anyone who has a real hobby knows that sometimes people are enthralled by the strangest things. And besides, some girls like men who can do artsy things, like painting little men up nice.

For me, the "but isn't it kinda childish to play with toys?" standard answer is that it's a good reason to get out and have a couple of beers while playing, plus it teaches dexterity and general art/painting skills, and besides, what kind of guy doesn't like playing with toys? If it's a girl asking, I just say "maybe it's a male thing" - if a girl gives you crap about liking miniatures, she's probably not your kind of person anyway.

My ex-GF was really supportive of my hobby, he thought it was kinda adorable that I like working with the little guys, and even a bit impressive that they look kinda decent on that scale :D That's the most usual comment I get - "I can't believe the details you can paint on something so small / I could never have the patience for something like that".

Oh yeah, my background: I'm 29, in university doing a master's degree, have a motorcycle, have been through the army as a conscript, done a few years of kickboxing/thaiboxing, done things like skydiving and travelling in about 15 different countries so far, and worked as a security guard. The only thing missing is a few tattoos and a black leather jacket.. I don't know if I'm a "cool" or "manly" guy, but do I sound like a guy who gives a **** if someone likes or not my hobbies? ;)

Commissar Vaughn
04-12-2011, 20:17
I really don't understand something that several people have said in this thread namely that you didnt dare tell the person you loved and trusted more than anyone else in your life that you like playing with toy soldiers until you've been together for several years...

...thats insane. I'm completely undecided as to its meaning: can you not trust them? Can they now no longer trust you? Is it simply that you can't keep a secret to save your life?

And I have a question, how the hell do you keep this sort of hobby a secret? Ive two entire model railways, plus masses of rolling stock and scenery for a third (a project I'm working on for when we get a bigger place), plus some 3 or 4 thousand toy soldiers of various sizes, including ships, tanks, and aircraft. There are two work stations in use at any time, covered in tools and paints and hobby materials of various sorts. I can't just shove it in a cupboard when somebody comes round, its fairly obvious, even to the terminally dead, that there is some sort of hobby activity going on in my flat. Keeping it a secret sounds like a task for Masklyn and half the magic circle...well it worked against the luftwaffe.

Then again I recall a friend who spent the bulk of a day in a room 32 foot square that contained a model railway of some 16 square feet and they didnt see it till they were leaving, so maybe its not impossible.

I dont remember when or how my fiance found out, at a guess the mutual friend that introduced us probably mentioned it before we even got together, but I do remember that one of the conditions on us moving in together was that we found a place with a room of sufficient size to house model railways and toy soldiers. Her only condition in return was that it had to be available as a spare bedroom as well in case of guests, so all battles are fought on a half folded out futon....

inq.serge
04-12-2011, 20:26
I keep it a secret.

Only 2 or so people in my school know that I'm a wargamer. (In comparison to the fact that everyone in school either knows me or knows who I am.)

Lordsaradain
04-12-2011, 21:01
It's not something I'd mention to a person that I don't know really well.

I have all my stuff in my parents house and I enjoy gaming and modelling when I'm home during summer or christmas. But my appartment has no trace of models, I have a few warhammer books on my bookshelf but it's not something that I think anyone other than a fellow hobbyist would be able to spot and identify.

I'm not ashamed, I enjoy my hobby, but I am quite certain it would scare of girls that I bring home and I'd rather not take that risk. Ofc, a girl who was 'girlfriend material' would obviously have to find out and accept my hobby eventually, but not untill rather deep in the relationship.

Fawful
04-12-2011, 22:14
I mostly gave up about caring what other people may think of my hobbies. So I might mention it when it's relevant, and so far I haven't gotten any flack for it. It's mostly how you present it as well. But then I again I strongly believe people should be allowed to be kids again and just do the things they love (as long as they don't harm others whilst doing it).

LonelyPath
04-12-2011, 22:21
Hide it? Flaunt it more like, and damn all who dont like it!

That's pretty much me all over! :D

Bingo the Fun Monkey
04-12-2011, 22:49
It's known in the whole world that talking about spending your sparse time painting models and playing with them makes you a girl-magnet.

PD: No, it's a joke, for those who aren't in the know, don't try it.

Well, the response to revealing your hobby is much like the response to flirting with someone: it's not what you say or do, it's how you say and do it. If you're comfortable in your own skin, funny (in a playful way, not the sarcastic and snide witty way) and clearly take good care of yourself, you'll be a girl magnet- gamer or not.

Our culture is more geek friendly, if not geek oriented, than it was even half a decade ago.

...AND you can always point out that your army costs less than that Gucci handbag she never uses, or those Burberry boots for that matter. :eek::wtf::shifty:

Juggernaut101
05-12-2011, 00:47
I am regularly ashamed of how many models I still have to paint.
Check the cellar! If you are anything like me you will have dumped "the odd modell" in "some box". :angel:
*I could swear they are procreating.*


I'm not embarrassed at all, even though I've had people stick their heads out of car windows and shout abuse at me before walking down the street away from GW stores before.

...


Seriously? Must be a real nice place to live in...


I have tourettes syndrome as well. Sometimes I wish they made a pill "tourrettes for a day" , that way alot of people would stop worrying about looking stupid :D
:D LOL. No, I'm not laughing at you, you just managed to wrap a very wise remark into a rather hilarious package. Kudos.


Btw, a lot of post mentioned hiding ones hobby from close friends. I have to admit I have problems with understanding the whole concept. How? And even more importantly: Why?

As I see it your chosen hobby (whatever it might be; barring violent/ illegal activities) = YOU (or at least a very important part of you). Why would you want to deny a part of yourself? Are you really afraid of actually being ostracized in your community???
If you think/know that your friends will continuously ridicule you for your hobby then they might not be actual friends. So why do you "waste" your time with them? I really can't imagine this being healthy in any way, shape or form.

Juggernaut

Nubl0
05-12-2011, 01:28
Being a nerd is ok now with most people. Back when I was in school I would do my best ot never let anyone know, kinda sad really. Now however... well no one really cares that much. If anything if I'm out on the town or in a pub and a girl asks what im into I don't mind telling them, most of the time they brush it off or think it's a cute little quirk to me :P

Beppo1234
05-12-2011, 01:45
I have found this thread pretty interesting. I’m at the stage of selling all my 40k stuff because I admit I do feel embarrassed about the hobby. I don’t know anyone else that plays 40k so that doesn’t help me. When I was in my school years I had friends that did and that was fine, I had no problems with the hobby and regularly talked about it with them. They then seemed to grow out of it just leaving me in it. I have quit the hobby a couple of times now, still keeping all my models. Then I always get drawn back to it. I was into the gaming side of things way back, now I like the modelling side of the hobby.
I find on the odd times I go into a GW store it is full of young kids or extremely geeky people doing thinks making shooting noises when they play and talk as if what they are doing is real life. I am happy for people to really get into the hobby and enjoy it which is what they are doing but that isn’t me so I feel a bit uncomfortable and out of place. Also I haven’t got a problem with children in the hobby, as I was one once in a GW store. Like someone has already said on here I just feel weird being the oldest person (only mid 20’s) and in a store full of children being involved in the same hobby. I also always seem have an experience of people who need to wash more than then do that are in the stores, no matter which ones in the country I’ve been to.
People have said before that they don’t fit in with the typical ‘geek’ and I do feel the same. The only thing I can say that I do that would make me seem geeky is the hobby. I have lots of other interests that range from sports like running and football to having a blast on my Triumph Daytona motorbike and socialising with friends and family. I was also in the Royal Marines and do have social skills (I’m not saying people on here don’t have, just that the stereotypical warhammer gamer does not and I have witnessed this in my time in the hobby).
I live in a house that I brought with my girlfriend, we had been together for about three years before and never knew I was into the hobby. When I moved all my stuff into the house I boxed everything up and it went straight into the loft. She saw the boxes and asked what’s that. That’s when I told her about it, but instead of saying I wanted to get back into it I said I could paint the stuff up to sell to make money out of it. My plan was to paint everything up then keep it ;) She didn’t say much, just that I could see she thought it was a bit sad.
I still like the idea of collecting a large army that is well painted and modelled. I consider myself to be a reasonable painter. But the amount of time it will take up to do what I want with the hobby, I feel will be too much for my girlfriend to be happy with. I also know that my friends will give me stick if they know I do it. I know I should do something if it makes me happy but a large part of the hobby makes me feel a bit uncomfortable mainly because of people’s reactions to it.
Having read this thread is making me re think again as I know I will enjoy the hobby again, it’s just that I don’t feel comfortable with all the stigma about it. Most people see it for what it is, painting little toy soldiers and I know most people won’t understand the appeal of it. So I’m at a cross roads with it, sell everything and forget about it or let my small bit of geekyness out and tell the Mrs this is also what I like doing from time to time.

i'm slightly older, and I feel you. Still hitting the rugby pitch etc.

I try to keep my visits to GW at a 5 minutes max stay. I'm pretty much paint and model only these days. I don't get as much grief from friend who don't 'get it' anymore, as the skills have improved. Also, between armies (I always come back) I try and work on minis that are not so 'geeky', basically outside of gaming, and a lot of the stigma for other people disappears. But those friends that have known me for a long time also see the progress in skills and technique. Also, maturity comes into the acceptance part from peers who don't take part. Sooner or later they take up some sort of hobby, and they understand.

Girls get in the way. Always have.

I used to display, but I've grown away from it. I only do planned armies now, that always fit perfectly into a dedicated carry-case, so they can be hidden away when not working on them, or they've been finished.

Mit Gas
05-12-2011, 14:58
Well, the response to revealing your hobby is much like the response to flirting with someone: it's not what you say or do, it's how you say and do it. If you're comfortable in your own skin, funny (in a playful way, not the sarcastic and snide witty way) and clearly take good care of yourself, you'll be a girl magnet- gamer or not.

Our culture is more geek friendly, if not geek oriented, than it was even half a decade ago.

...AND you can always point out that your army costs less than that Gucci handbag she never uses, or those Burberry boots for that matter. :eek::wtf::shifty:

BINGO! Sorry, too tempting - this man got it all right. How you say it and who you are makes all the difference.

If you are a typical nerd, chances are that your minis are the least of your social problems - and if you are somewhat normal but got this unusual hobby people (or girlfriends) will learn to accept it. I can tell you one thing: my ex thought that my toy soldiers were much more normal than videogames. She was supportive of neither but she very well recognized the art behind it. Secrets eat away at relationships and girls like their men to be cute (even if we don't want to be classified as "cute").

Foolish Mortal
05-12-2011, 15:31
The only time I've been, well, I'n not sure it was ashamed, just embarrassed really was with the Dread Fleet release.

On the weekend it was due out, I was In York, and thought I'd nip into GW to pick up a couple of paints I wanted.....NOT to buy Dread Fleet. As I get near the store, I hear a bunch of people loudly talking like pirates - a quick peak through the window showed me same loud people dressed in a kinda piratey way.

I turned around and quickly walked away.....it's the only time I've ever been been to embarrassed to go into a GW store.

Sinnertje
05-12-2011, 15:47
I actually decided to take some models along with me to work.
The reactions were along the lines of: "oh wow, awesome, you painted them yourself? And what do you do with them then?" etc, this one guy wanted to know how the game works etc too, I might even get him into the hobby!

Dreadlordpaul
05-12-2011, 16:25
Im not ashamed about it at all. Most of my friends find it weird that I love wargames yet I also listen to rap and hip hop music. I think people who hate on this hobby have to try it to be honest because everyone deep down still has a inner child

Brother Loki
05-12-2011, 16:39
I've never been particularly bothered about hiding my hobby. I'm into all sorts of geeky stuff - roleplaying, wargaming, board games, LARP, airsoft, sci-fi and fantasy, videogames and so on. Gaming of various forms is how I know the vast majority of the people I consider friends. In fact, I just did a quick exercise looking at the people I have linked on Facebook, out of a total of 124 friends, around 100 of them are people I've met through gaming, in some capacity or other. Most of the rest are people I've worked with or grew up with.

Some of this is to be expected - I ran the local FLGS for several years, so I pretty much knew the majority of the Geek population of Southampton, at least to say hello to, but my closest friends, my flatmate, the couple whose wedding I was best man at etc, are all people I met through gaming.

@MostWanted - It sounds to me like you'd quite like to maintain some involvement with the hobby, just not have to hang around kids to do it. This is perfectly normal. GW stores aren't the best place for this - they're primarily for recruiting the young'uns, and you want to find some adults to play with. You're UK based, by the sounds of it, so I can pretty much guarantee that there'll be a local wargames club of some description near you. Just google things like 'wargames club yourtown' or 'warhammer club yourtown' and there's bound to be something going on. Commonly clubs meet in community centres, village halls, pubs, British Legion branches etc. Most of these tend to have members ranging from their 20s to 40s, so you won't be out of place. You'll generally find a few ex (or serving) forces guys in most clubs as well - so you should be in your comfort zone. If you don't want to find a club, I'd definitely encourage you to keep up painting if you enjoy it. The last thing you want to do is start resenting your Mrs because you feel you had to give up something you enjoyed.

Chapters Unwritten
05-12-2011, 18:30
I make sure to point out to people that it is like a video game -- it basically IS the mother of all sci fi RTS games. I say, "You heard of Starcraft or Dawn of War? It's like that but with pieces and a board."

To be perfectly honest people are usually fascinated about the game and ask how you could possibly play a game with these pieces.

ashc
05-12-2011, 18:41
Geek chique is in, and I have had little problem with it. Then again, when I tell others what I do their usual response is 'I didn't think someone like you would be in to that'. What annoys you are the hygienicly disgusting, anti-social, whiny, cheating types that people immediately think of who give the hobby a bad name.

Drial87
05-12-2011, 23:04
I have never really had a problem with my hobby, i will tell anyone about it. Even if people think that it’s childish or to geeky they can still appreciate the painted/converted models. Anyone who thinks less of you because of the hobby don’t deserve your time or thought.

Mostwanted
07-12-2011, 23:34
@ Brother Loki, that’s a good idea, may see what gaming clubs are about in my part of the country and go down to see how that goes, its just finding the time for that. The more I think about it I do want to keep in the modelling side of the hobby. May paint some one off models and see how that goes down with people, think some friends if they see them would think they are pretty cool. I know the Mrs wouldn’t make me stop doing it but I can’t see her being involved with it either.

@ rwatts I fully agree with what you have said. I think my friends would be more accepting than I’m thinking as well.

@ Commissar Vaughn of cause I trust my Mrs, if she doesn’t like it she will probably just give me a bit of friendly banter about it. Just know she is not into anything like this at all so know she will think its a bit weird to start with. She may come round but there is that feeling that she may think a little differently of me if I start the hobby up properly again. The reason I have kept it from here was because our homes were in different parts of the country and work took me to where she lived and I slowly eased off the hobby. Only had a house with her for just over a year and when I moved all my stuff in my 40k stuff went in the loft.

Snowflake
08-12-2011, 01:34
There are a thousand ways to say this, and they're all cliche, and half of them have already been said in this thread. There are seven billion people on this planet. If you look even a little bit, you will find plenty of people that share your interests, no matter how whacked out or freaky they may be. So really, seriously, anyone who will look down on you or ridicule you for your interests (good-natured ribbing not included, we all do that) is not worth your time, and certainly not worth your friendship. Seeing how many people in this thread feel like they have to hide what they enjoy in order to be accepted by people they probably should never have given the time of day to is one of the most soul-crushing things I've ever read. Don't do it.

Disclaimer : THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO WORK. You cannot be yourself at work, nobody can, at least nobody who wants to move up. Everybody on the planet adopts some sort of facade at work. Just don't feel like you have to do it outside of there.

VendableFall
08-12-2011, 02:18
Normally I get weird looks and exclamations of astonishment when it comes to be known that I love tabletop gaming. But it's really no matter as I'm made up of very distinct and sometimes opposing personality traits and personal likes. For instance, I was a HtH combat instructor in the US Marines but I also love to cook. I was a bouncer at a popular club for years but I have a better flower garden than my wife. I'm rabid about American Football but can also talk the balls off a rhino about physics. I'm 6'2" and around 270 pounds and still have around 10% body fat, but I paint pants on little men that I spend too much money on and then get way too competitive about.

This, definatley this, while not quite 270pds, im 245 and 6ft3, im a semi-professional Rugby League player and a I.T technician by day, i get many "really i would have never thought you would be into that" reactions, but i suppose i get that when i tell them i fix computers for a living aswell. i find that being a well rounded person is essential to a happy life!

i must agree with allot of other posts i do not tell people about my hobby when i meet them but if it comes up im more than happy to explain it to them!

i did find tho, when i was younger and when i was worried about the stigma that may be attached to my hobby, my percieved idea about how people would react to me telling them, influenced how i told them (acting a bit sheepish and hesitant to explain and also putting it down with statments like "its really geeky but i like it") and therefore made me seem like a shy akward geek when i was far from it!


/edit in saying that tho, no-one in my football team/club knows about my hobby and i dont think ill be telling them about it, wrong crowd.

Pooky
08-12-2011, 02:23
I actually decided to take some models along with me to work.
The reactions were along the lines of: "oh wow, awesome, you painted them yourself? And what do you do with them then?" etc, this one guy wanted to know how the game works etc too, I might even get him into the hobby!

A little off topic...

I took a model with me to work once. Management had an initiative to make the place 'happier' since moral was low. People were decorating their desks with random stuff make it more personal/ friendly. There were photos of kids, cat calenders, pics of cars and other usual office stuff. I took a Space Marine Captain I was no longer using (but had given a really decent paint job) and placed it on the computer. It was only only 'decoration' I brought. (Perhaps I'm cynical but I didn't see how this exercise was going to make me feel any better by being at a lame office). The next day I came back and someone had mangled the sword arm off the model and just left the two bits on the computer.

I'm glad I quit that job and left that place.