View Full Version : The Revolution Returns: Glorious Comrade Von Stahl's Red Guards

Awilla the Hun
25-12-2011, 20:52
Comrades! In the spirit of this so called 'Festive Season', a concept quite blatantly founded by theocrats seeking to milk the people with their diabolical and fiendish opiates before being, as with all non revolutionary things, exploited by capitalism for its own ends, it is time to release some joyous news and goodwill for all friends of the working classes! For, Comrades, you see: in the coming months, after their long and magnificent (but not in the least decadent-rather, well earned, respectful and resolute) celebrations of their crushing of the Empire imperialists in their recent campaigns (and a number of other minor engagements not worth discussing), the Red Guards shall return to war!

Yes, and what a war it shall be! A wholly revolutionary form of struggle, demonstrating the wrath of the 99% against the minions of the All Old World Reactionary Conspiracy! We shall march once again to the "Student Nationals", and (after a vigorous practice and preparation beforehand in a series of more minor engagements) we shall triumph over all the dark forces which oppose us! COMRADES, I CALL UPON YOU! OCCUPY THE WALLS OF REVOLUTION, TO FORM A PATHWAY TO TRIUMPH OVER THE BONES OF CAPITALISM!


So, anyway. Comrades. Over the next few months, I am returning to warhammer fantasy. Once again, I'm getting ready for the student nationals tournament. 2000 points of utter chaos, except not Chaos, certainly not Comrade-Commissar, because that is counter revolutioanry. Naturally. This time, I have it in mind to prepare an army relatively competitive, out of what models I can gather. If I have time, I'll also try to slightly improve my painting. Any help warseer can give in either category will be most greatly appreciated.

One opponent in particular, who I may be facing, stands out. He was formerly part of team Nottingham, and last year became Geek of Steel; Britain's Geekiest Man, in short. He excelled in wargaming, rpg, that sort of thing, and is a wonderful person. Facing him will be an honour, and it will be a pleasure to meet again. On the other hand, if we fight, I do rather want to liquidate his rabble of counter-revolutionaries with all due vigour and spirit. He is expected to be playing Nurgle Chaos Warriors. What sort of foe could I expect to face (in terms of effective builds), and how should the Red Guards most efficiently triumph over them in the name of the Proletariat and Glorious Comrade Von Stahl?

Actual battles will start late Jan/early Feb. Forward, Comrades, to Victory!

EDIT: The Old Thread http://www.warseer.com/forums/showthread.php?t=191378

26-12-2011, 10:58
Surely glorious music such as this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFIS-8DIYX0&NR=1
will only be what you need to crush the counter-revolutionaries?

Awilla the Hun
26-12-2011, 14:14
Absolutely, Comrade! However, due to Glorious Comrade Von Stahl's overwhelming and heartfelt concern for the wellbeing of his beloved Comrades in the ranks, he requires as much information as possible about the foes he wishes to face, in order to minimise casualties in the heroic triumph of the Red Guards!

vinny t
30-12-2011, 03:16
Well depending on how competitive this tournament is going to be, Nurgle warriors can bring a variety of choices. I would expect a hellcannon or 2, multiple units of warriors (probably 2 units of 18), a warshrine or 2, and probably a knight unit with the banner of rage.

03-01-2012, 22:02
Long time lurker, this thread brought me to registering at this site.
I really like your style of writing and am looking forward to the new achievements of the Red Guards. :)

Awilla the Hun
04-01-2012, 06:58
Thank you, Comrade. How should I fight them with peasants? From my limited knowledge of Nurgle Warriors (gleaned mostly from Plague Marines in Warhammer 40,000), they seem to be a most dire threat, combining fear causation, insanely tough infantry (something the Red Guards have always had difficulty with), and nasty diseases to kill those with low toughness, like my Red Guards. But of course, the disease, doubtless a mere front set up by plutocratic elvenist-imperialist medical insurance companies, shall be swept aside by the workers!

07-01-2012, 12:59
Urrah! Awilla's back!
The sentence in capitals had me looking around for things to make a flag out of so I can stand on the ramparts of freedom with Comrade Von Stahl to help him trample some good old-fashioned revolutionary sense into those elitist-tyranocratic-Dwarfist-goldgrabbing-chaos-beasts...amongst others (lol).

Not much experience vs. Chaos, but I'd anticipate Mark of Nurgle+Banner of Rage somewhere in there.
Maybe watch out for a Khorne or Nurgle Marauder great weapon Horde (or Nurgle Marauders with BSB Rage banner), as they're really cheap and can hurt plenty. Even if you cavalry charge them, they'll still have loads of people to smack you back and these guys cost loads less than your knights.
However, they don't usually have much armour, so plenty of arrows and war machines should put holes into those guys (although frenzy will stop them panicking away before they hit you).

If they have halberds(?), maybe get a man-at-arms Horde? So, at least when you do get into combat, you should be attacking first before Trolls, Ogres and great weapon-armed infantry.

I'd have thought Hounds to draw you into pointless charges + Puppeteer in there somewhere to hurt your miscasts?

Also, Chosen with the item to modify rolls on their chart (to get the ward save), so that you're not guaranteed to kill them (i.e. tie you up in combat 'cos you can't kill them, then they either hit you with another unit whilst you're trapped in combat, or Chosen great weapons cut you up into little pieces, or both = ouch).

Warrior & Chosen units might not be very big though (15-20 strong?).

I'm not sure if any of this helps?

11-01-2012, 10:55
Fantastic news - your old battle reports (it seems so reductive to call them that) are brilliant. I can't wait to see more of them.

Incidentally, I notice that you seem to be Nottingham-based. If you ever need an opponent, I'd be more than happy to oblige with my Warriors of Chaos and hopefully (preferably, to avoid the boredom of the Warriors book) soon the Beastmen.

Awilla the Hun
13-01-2012, 11:24
vcassno, I'm sure we'll get fighting after these exams are done.

Also: Comrades! The Revolution needs your assistance with a matter of utmost importance! Failure to report will result in an immediate spontaneous self criticism being extracted from you by the Commissariat of Public Safety! This matter is one of roleplay, and will be explained in the link below:


Awilla the Hun
11-02-2012, 23:49
Comrades and Capitalists: A Revolutionary Roleplay Report


Comrades! It was a much contested and controversial choice which brought the highly collective spirit of the Red Guards into typically individualistic world of “Role Playing”. However, Comrades, it was a step undertaken with the understanding that there would be a true mass of volunteers, prepared by a most subtle and compelling advertising campaign (“OK Comrades, who wants to join a revolutionary SATT game? Oh, right. OK guys, who wants to join a WHFRP game? Oh…”) This, due to the efforts of the backsliding of a militarist counter-revolutionary, did not occur. Nevertheless, the game proceeded.

The players were a pair of valiant Junior Commissars of Public Safety (“Juncs” for short), and their mission, as appointed by Comrade-Commissar Hugh of Bampton for Nationalities in an office crammed with bunting, was quite simple: to entirely and totally protect the agricultural collective of Belleville from all forms of Counter-Revolution. This increased state of alertness (although, of course, all revolutionaries are always eternally alert for the depredations of Counter-Revolutionary Imperialists), was invoked due to the approaching visit of a number of foreign Von Stahlists, from that monarchist state of Kislev; the players would have to days to root out all counter-revolution in the village. Their success in this was essential for the spreading of the Revolution. As such, the least competent of the Juncs, it was decided, would be executed for backsliding. Even if they succeeded. To encourage the others, Comrades. Upon being asked which one wanted to be party leader, both Commissars froze for a few moments, before deciding that neither wanted to; they would handle everything collectively. In that spirit, the game began…

The Commissars were:

Comrade Junior-Commissar for Peoples’ Adminstration Bernard, a bureaucrat. He bore the party’s massive arsenal of requisition and counter-revolutionary liquidation forms, and had a wide variety of connections in the government, as well as considerable knowledge concerning industries and agriculture; he had previously handled and mishandled their resource requests. By a remarkable, completely non-corrupt coincidence, he had by far the most work points to spend, a true testament to his industrious and dedicated nature.

Comrade Junior-Commissar for Technology and Industry Pierre, an expert on all forms of revolutionary technology. Among his equipment was a pistol, a two-handed hammer, a great arsenal of knowledge about farms, smithing and tools, and a top secret trio of potions. These were so secret that only he was allowed to know of their existence. Their effects were beyond his security clearance. All were an equal shade of red, as befitted such beneficent and wondrous devices. ((Other choices included an Assassins’ Creed type hidden blade, a hand grenade, and a signal flare.))

Of particular note was that neither possessed significant levels of fellowship or general investigatory skills.

I had expected two more players, but they didn’t turn up. Well, one turned up later, but decided to paint his forge world space marines rather than actually play. He enjoyed spectating. I was OK with this, but slightly disappointed at the lack of people willing to try other character concepts (the Communications Commissar’s pet Truffle Hound could have provided endless hours of entertainment. For the DM.)The other games (a Pokemon game, a Discworld themed Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay game, and something involving urban fantasy) got 4-6 players apiece. This clearly demonstrates the capitalist sentiment which abounds in Nottingham. Nevertheless, they had seen my OTT antics as a series of LARP quasi-Red Guardsmen. A handful had read the batreps, and watched my warhammer games. It was time to introduce them to the Red Guards in person…



The Commissars, valiant defenders of the Peoples’ Democratic Republic of Mousillon, repeatedly questioned Comrade Magnnusson, the assistant of Comrade Commissar Hugh, concerning the Collective of Belleville. This was conducted in the typically tactful tradition of the Commissariat; as she scrabbled for her parchments, she dropped an inkpot all over Comrade Pierre’s boots. This shattered, resulting in her cleaning his boots politely. This was seized upon, and she was pumped for information most thoroughly by Comrade Pierre, in all forms, about the Collective of Belleville. This, it was learned Comrades, was a truly exceptional triumph of Revolutionary Agriculture, amongst the most productive collectives in all of our glorious People’s Republic-and doing it all without modern techniques. This true testament to Revolutionary willpower and efficacy was awe inspiring to the two Commissars, who immediately exhorted the tenacity and strength of true Proletarian labour; both were already spouting polysyllables like there was no tomorrow. They jargoned away like mad; so much, indeed, that at the docks waiting for the river barge to Belleville, they almost failed to notice the mass of malnourished people getting off a barge that was coming from Belleville. Comrade Pierre, upon discovering this, decided that it was a testament to their devotion to the revolution that they gave up physical wellbeing for the glory of the working class. Comrade Bernard could not help but agree, before returning to the mass of forms he was ready to fill in.

The barge journey, as it was being conducted on a barge constructed by Von Stahlist Engineering Principles (and therefore Best Engineering Principles) would have been completely smooth were it not for the activities of Comrade Pierre; he questioned the workers with an admirable vigour and intensity about all aspects of Belleville. He questioned them so hard, indeed, that some among them reckoned him to be a counter-revolutionary spy himself, and started watching his activities most closely so as to prevent him from obtaining any excessively critical information about our most valuable and vital heartland. This came to an end when Comrade Pierre most cunningly upended the mulled wine of a sleeping barge worker onto his wax tablet, thereby simultaneously destroying his notes and successfully accusing him of being negligent of state property. This resulted in a black mark being put on his career, and the Barge Commander apologising. Comrade Pierre was most pleased with this outcome.


The Party arrived at Belleville in excellent weather (unlike the rest of the journey, where it had been foul.) Equinox was coming, and a good red autumn was in the air; especially visible due to Belleville being close to the Forest of Arden. They arrived at a beautiful red dawn, with the sun just rising. To meet the players were the local Red Guard contingent: ten strong, with shining, well polished weapons (one per man!) and armour. At their head was a Junior Commissar, a tall, stopped fellow, with strange teeth and green skin. He introduced himself a Comrade Heavyfoot.

“I iz ‘ead of da Red Guards of dis village. I welcomes you to dis… dis… collective, and opes you enjoys your stay, and dat you likkerdates all counter-…. Counter-…. Bad fings. Yur. And dat you krumps dem good.”

The Commissars both dismounted from the barge, and found this a matter of urgent consideration. After much memory of childhood lessons, it was concluded (after some truly epic intelligence rolls) that Comrade Heavyfoot had a vague resemblance to-well-an Orc.

This, though, it seemed, was a strange misconception. Comrade Heavyfoot was not an Orc. Comrade Heavyfoot, see, was loyal Revulooshonary, and dat means dat he couldn’t be Orc, coz Orcses (see) were militant imperillists, yuh, and as Comrade Eavyfoot was loyal revulooshonary, he couldn’t be an Orc. (His Red Guards nodded vigorously at each assertion.)

Moving on from this strange impasse, the Commissars immediately began to question the Red Guards about any strange goings on. There was nothing that odd-save for THE INVISIBLE CAPITALIST.
Party: “The invisible Capitalist, Comrade? What could that be? What has it done?”
Red Guards: “Oh, the invisible capitalist! It destroys tools! It sours milk! It steals bowls of porridge! AND HONEY! It…”

After a time, Comrade Bernard made the mistake of asking to speak to someone intelligent. Comrade Heavyfoot took exception to this because, see, e was intelligent. ‘E woz a Revolooshonary Commissar, yuh, so I iz intelligent, because I is revolushonary Commissar. Comrade Heavyfoot then inflicted a summary battlefield punishment for insolence. As his erstwhile partner fell clutching his black eye, Comrade Pierre drew his pistol, before remembering that he lacked the proper paperwork to execute a counter-revolutionary; on the other hand, he guessed that Comrade Heavyfoot didn’t either. Things could have turned ugly, but Comrade-Chairman of the Collective Central Committee, Comrade Dubreton, arrived to resolve the situation. He informed Comrade Heavyfoot that, if he didn’t quieten down, he could be reposted to somewhere less interesting and less violent. The massive lower jaw wobbled, and the situation was resolved. Unfortunately for the players, Comrade Heavyfoot filled Counter-Revolutionary liquidation forms out in advance.

With that, the Party set about its activities. The first was, naturally, the proper arrangements of a recent shipment of posters depicting Glorious Comrade Von Stahl. There were, as Comrade Dubreton put it, more of them than there were inches of wallspace in the entire collective, all smiling benevolently-and all had to be used. He also feared that there being too many would be unbelievable to the Kislevites, who would be incapable of comprehending that any one man could be so much revered by the Proletariat. His concerns were brushed aside, as the Commissars decided to use them to form a defensive perimeter around the village; after all, the stentorian features of Glorious Comrade Von Stahl would be enough to terrify any imperialist aggressors. Comrade Dubreton, leaning back in the chair of his office (a small wattle-and-daub chamber, with an ancient looking bookcase and an image of Comrade Von Stahl) accepted this, and the Party went to investigate matters further.

Comrade Pierre set to work on the surgery, and met the Barefoot Doctor, Comrade D’ubyonny, and discovered a number of healing potions. These were peculiar, but the day’s events had clouded this staunch Von Stahlist’s mind, meaning that he was unable to identify them. He also investigated the Collective Bureau, the administrative centre; as it was just behind a number of poorly rehearsed folk dancers, and the bureaucrat behind the desk was partly deaf, he made little headway.

Comrade Bernard spent the morning denouncing Comrade Heavyfoot to the Central Committee in an angry letter, hoping to have someone else executed and keep Comrade Hugh at bay.

Rumours started to surface about the loss of Comrades Jacquelin and Pierre, two of the barefoot doctor’s assistants, on a foraging expedition. These were about to be investigated further; but the bell for lunch rang. Mindful that failing to arrive at lunch with the rest of the village would mean being denounced for insufficient communal spirit by their comrades, the Commissars joined the peasants for mealtime. Today, fish. Two peasants were observed to slip out early, but the Commissars paid it no heed.

Comrade Pierre spent the early afternoon, upon making some alarming discoveries in the Surgery, teaching Comrade D’ubyonny the rudiments of basic alchemy so as to impress the Kislevites. He was interrupted in this by the activities of Comrade Bernard.

Comrade Bernard, leaving the canteen with the rest of the collective, soon noticed something funny was going on. To wit, the barge they had used to reach Belleville had just caught fire. Comrade Pierre also noticed this, but decided to remember that he had his appointment at the Surgery. Comrade Bernard, readying his one-handed ceremonial scythe, set forth to investigate further. As he approached, a man jumped off the barge and started swimming frantically for shore. At the same time, he was aware of a hooded figure rising up from behind a pile of ropes, club in hand, and throwing itself at him. The valiant Commissar heroically turned to flee and warn his Comrades of this new and devastating threat to the community, losing his pursuer in the crowd. Of course, it would be hoped that his better armed colleague would be on the way.

Comrade Pierre approached through a mass of curious peasants, pistol drawn, only to find hismelf surrounded by citizens under the impression that the gun he was brandishing was being advertised for sale on the black market. This staunch Von Stahlist found his progress was impeded by a long queue of peasants clutching root vegetables; but, ultimately, he reached Comrade Bernard. They spent a great deal of time considering their next course of action, by which point their pursuer had vanished into the crowd. They investigated the area near the barge further, and found withered grass.

They also encountered a detachment of Red Guards, led of course by Comrade Heavyfoot, who berated Comrade Bernard for his stupidity at getting caught in a trap; Comrade Heavyfoot, was a clever one. Comrade Pierre immediately seized upon this method to denounce his colleague in a form he got Comrade Heavyfoot and eight Red Guardsmen to fill out, stating the damning ineptitude of Comrade Bernard and requesting permission to summarily execute him. Comrade Bernard, upon hearing of this plan, countered by sending a letter to the Commissariat of People’s Affairs and Administration, asking them to put the letter from Comrade Pierre at the bottom of their in tray. This, as our newly acquired spectator pointed out, was the best way of PVP combat ever devised by anyone.

(Of course, actually sending both letters was a major obstacle; the village Pegasus rider, Comrade Brienne, was far too busy tending to her steed, citing its health being in a very real sense more important than the actual collective itself, to actually send their mail in a timely manner.)

As the afternoon of the first day drew to a close, both Commissars returned to seeking out Counter-Revolution in the name of the Revolution. Comrade Bernard (finally) actually investigated the fields that the peasants were farming; they were largely bounteously productive, with great amber waves of corn, some of which (near the very edge, especially those parts close to Arden) fake. There were also some gigantic vegetables-and some withered crops, also mostly near Arden. A peasant told him what he knew about the forest, as the withered crops were rapidly replaced with fakes: very little, but the Red Guards patrolled, so he couldn’t complain. Their lanterns, though. Very queer, them lights all around the edge of the Collective… Upon investigation, it was discovered that the Red Guards bore normal lanterns. Comrade Pierre, meanwhile, accompanied the Red Guards on their poster-distribution mission, found a trail of footprints leading off into the forest. Three sets, one barefoot. He took a pair of Guardsmen and followed them-but it grew dark as he did so, and the supper bell started ringing. His group were therefore forced to return to the collective to avoid being branded as excessively individualist.

Awilla the Hun
11-02-2012, 23:49

After supper, the Commissars tried to get some sleep. Unfortunately, they were awakened by a strange singing, as rolling and sonorous as the hills, as quick and bright as lightning, as sweet and sad as an autumn storm. This, Comrade Pierre pointed out, was quite unlike most glorious and inspiring revolutionary anthems. But there was more. The weather started to worsen, and a wind started to blow through the corn; almost as if it was whispering. And pure white lights started to appear. As the Commissars gazed out through holes in the walls of the dormitory, they could see them emerging…

The Party first had to obtain permission to break curfew before doing anything about it. This done, they grabbed their equipment and strode forth to Arden, only one of them equipped with a lantern, ready to deal with counter-revolutionary evil and strike it down completely! The singing, however, only seemed to intensify. Crops started to wither around the players as they failed to stealth their way through the cornfield. Comrade Bernard, the lantern bearer, felt an urge to rush off and join the singing, deep in the forest’s heart; he therefore ran headlong into the woods, his revolutionary will failing him. Comrade Pierre followed, “covering him” with his pistol. He saw the lantern dart on through the forest, and ever on- and then, suddenly, snuff out.

Comrade Pierre, that staunch Von Stahlist, took stock; he was in more or less complete darkness, in the middle of a forest. He therefore snapped off a random tree branch, ignited it, and drank one of his forbidden potions, hoping Von Stahl would guide him in this hour of need. And he did; Comrade Pierre felt invigorated, enlivened, strong, confident, powerful, awe inspiring! He sang the “Red Guards’ March” at the top of his lungs as he strode manfully towards what he hoped was one of the strange lights; he intended to convert it to the Revolution, so as it could illuminate Proletarian Labour night and day, thus glorifying Comrade Von Stahl. Glory to him!

Comrade Bernard, meanwhile, had tripped over a tree root. The lantern shattered in his hand-but his mind cleared. He dragged himself upright, and hefted his one-handed scythe, thinking of a way out. He couldn’t find one easily, so he groped his way roughly back the way he came-and saw Comrade Pierre, silhouetted against a light, apparently trying to convince it to join the revolution. But that wasn’t what perturbed him. No, what would be the figure rising out of the undergrowth, drawing a bowstring back to its cheek and taking dead aim at Comrade Pierre…

The first arrow missed. Comrade Pierre ignored it. He only noticed it when the creature shot Bernard in the chest as he rushed to the rescue, wounding him grievously. Another arrow took Pierre in the arm. He dragged out his pistol-but the figure was running, and he hadn’t filled in the paperwork required to discharge his weapon. So he rushed over to assist his Comrade, feeding him another potion (blindfolding him first, to maintain its secrecy) to heal him. As he didn’t know about any of its effects, this was a bold move; but he was fortunate, and his Comrade was healed. Unfortunately, the first potion started to wear off as the Party dragged itself back to the Collective, weakening Comrade Pierre with headaches and other weaknesses.

As they returned, judging from the comments of the guards, another truth became apparent. The entire population of Belleville-well fed, plump, well dressed, utterly ignorant of the countryside (assuming that trees normally creaked like they sang, for example)-had been transplanted there by the government to present a better image to the Kislevites. This was not an undue problem. Neither was Comrade Pierre having to direct his own arrow extraction to Comrade D’ubyonny, the redoubtable barefoot doctor lacking the know-how. No, that came later, Comrades.

Comrade Dubreton arrived in the surgery and, awkwardly, took Comrade Pierre aside, showing him something of great interest in his office. It seemed that, contrary to the official history, the village of Belleville was once favoured by the elves, gifted with life and bounty; now, it seems, they might be removing it. All village history chronicles had been burned, of course-but not, strangely, the book case on which it was carved. He tearfully begged Comrade Pierre for guidance and forgiveness on this matter. “I didn’t join this government to watch my people be executed for coexisting with an elven taint for no damned reason!” he sobbed. Naturally, Comrade Pierre, that staunch Von Stahlist, arrested him and had him dragged off to imprisonment.

The next morning started with some interesting news delivered by a Comrade Kazmarov of the Red Guards by rowing boat. It seemed that the Kislevites were arriving ahead of schedule. Today. Around midday, to be precise.

Comrade Kazmarov, looking around, noted a number of curious and grave deficiencies in the collective. Notably, that there was a still smoking hulk of a barge in the river, that increasing numbers of crops were withering, that the giant vegetables were actually made of papier mache (the players had failed their perception rolls), and-worst of all-the presence of Comrade Heavyfoot, who was stomping over and getting angry. Fortunately, Kazmarov injected the Commissar with a needle of horse-strength tranquiliser, rendering him unconscious for a time.

The Collective than pushed forward into a great leap of progress! Comrade Bernard appointed himself as acting Chairman; Comrade Pierre did not deny this decision. Massed stocks of proactive form filling were conducted by the village bureau. Withered fields were to be burned (clearly bordered off by moving the posters of Comrade Von Stahl), and filled with debris from the barge, to be portrayed as future industrial developments. The giant vegetables were decoys for the raiders. Comrade Heavyfoot, who roused himself halfway through the morning, was to take command of proceedings from firmly within the Red Guard barracks. Everything was to grind into glorious action.

Messages from the government (the morning’s post encouraged the Commissars to “sort out the Invisible Capitalist”), and inquiries from the People, about the Invisible Capitalist, were redirected. Comrade Dubreton, it was decided, was the invisible Capitalist. Despite being clearly, as eye witnesses attested, visible. He would be executed by the pistol of Comrade Pierre, showing the might of revolutionary technology to these ignorant foreigners.

The Kislevites arrived at midday as the finishing touches were applied-and, for a time, everything seemed to work. The visitors-four portly looking civillians (including a cleric) and an axe-and-bow toting bodyguard-seemed impressed by the collective’s agriculture, its institutions, the dedication of its people, everything. All went perfectly, showing Comrade Von Stahl’s benevolence to all.

Things started to collapse at lunch time. The bell rang, inviting all the collective to partake of most succulent and delicious foodstuffs in the name of the Revolution. This included Comrade Heavyfoot, who took great offence at being referred to as “an Orc” by the Kislevites. Their guard readied his axe-but both parties were calmed down by the frantic efforts of the Commissariat. Just as this calmed down, Comrade Dubreton (still left out under arrest) was heard to scream “FIRE!”


The villagers left to keep the burning withered crop fires at bay had, not wanting to be seen as overtly individualist, left their posts and gone to lunch; the party had given them no orders otherwise. As a result, an inferno was rapidly building near Arden. At the same time, a strange singing could be heard again, with lights appearing. The equinox, it seemed, had come. Two of the Kislevites, will gone, started to move towards it. The Red Guards followed into the smoke, in a well formed line.
The Party decided to arm the People with whatever came to hand, demonstrating this military exercise to the Kislevites as proof of the might of an armed Proletariat. This worked perfectly as pitchforks were produced, until the Kislevites decided to join them. The mass of the People of Belleville advanced into the smoke, weapons readied-only for screams to be audible from the forest, and the sound of arrows buzzing through the air.

As they emerged, the screams stopped, and the singing. Having positioned themselves firmly at the back of the mob to drive it forward at weapon point, the Commissars had no idea what was happening at the front, resulting in the mass simply advancing wildly and disjointedly through the undergrowth; a shameful lack of valour, Comrades! The Red Guards were soon found dead, some shot, most with their throats torn out. Comrade Heavyfoot rejoined the Revolution, however. The mass pushed on for hours, and the afternoon heated up to scorching humidity; and the People, impossibly, started to tire. Only then did the ambushes start. A cry was heard from somewhere in the front-“Jacquelin!”-only for screams to follow moments later. The People wavered. A similar incident occurred to the left, and to the right, with arrows starting to fall. The Commissars brandished weapons, but were unwilling to execute villagers for cowardice; this meant that the People of Belleville simply fled in panic. The Kislevites, though, remained.

What followed, between two Commissars, a Red Guard Commissar and five Kislevites, was a brutal battle. Comrade Heavyfoot was sent off on reconissance, but was heard bellowing in agony moments later; Comrade Pierre and a Kislevite bodyguard found him dying, a strange wood-spirit standing over him. Battle ensued, but the Revolution, burning torch of enlightenment held aloft, triumphed. Arrows started to fall amongst Comrade Bernard and the rest of the Kislevites; the bureaucrat bravely charged at them, and engaged a green-clad elven archer in hand to hand combat, suffering grievous and noble scars in defence of the people. The creature was slain; but the rest of the Kislevites were drawn off into the forest. They were found dead, close to a strange tree containing an orb of light and one final elf-almost sleeping, muttering to itself. The creature was shot, and the Party (now with only one Kislevite left alive, who had to be ordered around via charades) returned to Belleville, Comrade Pierre having collected trophies.

Two days later, Comrade-Commissar Hugh of Bampton arrived to debrief the Party. He was concerned to discover that the Party had ended up having four Kislevites killed, a number of civillians dead, prime farm land torched, a precious river barge burned, a small mountain of paperwork incorrectly filled out, unauthorised state industrial production efforts conducted, unnerving knowledge of Capitalist methods on the part of Comrade Pierre (who had, in an angry denunciation, demanded that “merchants” he claimed to know in the People’s Republic were attacked), repeated instances of cowardice on the part of both of them, overt individualism, a lack of initiative, and-worst of all-no apparent attempts to discover the invisible Capitalist. The Party protested, saying that it was all Comrade Dubreton. Comrade-Commissar Hugh, that most wise and just Commissar, pointed out that as Comrade Dubreton had been noted as being visible by multiple eye witnesses, he was unlikely to be an Invisible Capitalist. Ultimately, he decided to execute Comrade Bernard for failure. He then dragged Comrade Pierre off to the Pegasus for a trip back home, warning him that, as a Commissar for Public Safety, his duty was often to do this impossible. He should therefore attempt it and, at least, feign to succeed. If he did that, he would go far.


The game took about six hours to run, and was highly enjoyable. My two players took to being a brace of incompetent, hidebound, utterly ******* secret service thugs (without even the veneer of respectability that comes with being in the Warhammer 40,000 Inquisition-be a secret serviceman or an entire world dies) like ducks to water, so well done them. It was great fun, and they had very little chance to truly “beat” the scenario. In their defence, I had expected more players, which would have enabled them to be more effective at some points. Still, good fun was had. Any comments will be appreciated. Normal battle report service will resume ASAP.

13-02-2012, 19:32
What a great read! And an old friend of former reports, Comrade Heavyfoot also appeared. :)
Did you make up your own rules for the paperwork or is that really already incorporated in the WHF-RPG? Sounds like a funny minigame in the game.

Awilla the Hun
13-02-2012, 22:05
I printed out forms (for recquisitions and counter-revolutionary liquidation-each filled out with interesting questions such as "Has not Glorious Comrade von Stahl already provided all of your needs? If so, why do you need this item?") and asked the players to fill them in. The bureaucrat was able to make his own with liberal use of "forgery". They pretty soon gave up trying to fill in the phys-reps and instead told me what they had done, which counted against them in the view of Comrade-Commissar Hugh. Glad someone enjoyed reading about the glorious adventures of heroic revolutionaries! Normal battle reports will resume when I actually start playing again, which should be pretty soon.

Awilla the Hun
26-02-2012, 22:21
Von Stahl’s Clenched Fist


Comrades! Although it may seem that, outwardly, the revolution has been on hold in its military campaigning, this is merely a ruse to distract the unwise and moronic agents of capitalism. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, in the utmost secrecy, we have been preparing to deliver a final and annihilating blow against the forces of Environmentalist Elvenist-Imperialism!

Yes! For too long, Comrades, have they ravaged the Proletariat of Bretonnia, taking their children to the vilest and most horrifying forms of rituals imaginable. So horrifying and vile, in fact, that the chronicler here is unable to reveal their content, for fear of corrupting the minds of his fellow Revolutionaries; not, of course, that my readers are in any way affiliated with Capitalism. In any case, Comrades, our People’s Commissariat of Industry and Technology has invested in a new and fearsome weapon, of titanic destructive power, far beyond anything yet devised by the gadgeteers and tinkerers of the capitalist nations. A formidable cannon, of immeasurable size and striking power, has been constructed for use against all Counter-Revolutionaries in defence of our glorious People’s Democratic Republic of Mousillon, and to advance the dialectic of history!

Unable to see their own obsolescence, however, as the cannon was being deployed to liquidate the elves of Arden, a number of them gathered together so as to raid and destroy the weapon. Little did they know, however, that our leader, Glorious Comrade Von Stahl, had prepared a trap, to crush and annihilate their contemptible little army with the gargantuan clenched fist of the revolution!


So, my first game of Warhammer since the last student nationals, and it isn’t impossible that it’s the last before… this year’s student nationals. Once again, it was facing wood elves. And once again, they had brought Treekin, a great consumerist of revolutionary flesh. It was the South German again, now wise to my ways, and with what she claimed to be a prime, tournament beating army, optimised for hammering hapless German Oxford students with Orcs and Goblins.

My own force, by contrast, was mostly the same that I’d led into the 7th edition. I had decided to go with what I knew best (and that, after a year of decay, was little enough), and that my first 2000 points army was what I knew best. That’s right, Comrades. 2000 points meant removing much of the competitiveness from my 2500 point list-the second trebuchet, the one man Oncebitten impersonation society that is Comrade D’Eria, the thirty man Hordes of Red Guards. At 2000, I could get a broad feel for my army, and then sharpen it. At least, as much as one can sharpen an army designed around comic relief. Any army list advice would be appreciated.

With that, Comrades-on to the armies!


Glorious Comrade Von Stahl’s 2000 points of Red Guards (NOTE: I only did pretty rough calculations on how to cut the 2500 list I had to hand down to size. It may therefore be slightly off)

Glorious Comrade Chairman Heinrich Von Stahl (Bretonnian Lord, with Virtue of Empathy, enchanted shield, Hammer of the Proletariat (sword of might), Book of Stahlist-Taalist Thought (Braid of Bordeleaux) Accompanies the Quenelles Brigade

Comrade du Bois, Commissar for Magical Affairs (Damsel with Dispel Scroll. Spell: Regrowth)

Comrade Stephan Grunwald, Commissar for Warfare (Paladin with Virtue of Discipline, Speaking Trumpet with Book of Stahlist Thought (battle standard), Revolutionary Fanaticism (Grail Vow), Virtue of Duty, Barded Warhorse, War Banner. Accompanies the Proletariat Leadership Committee

Comrade Hugh of Bampton, Commissar for Nationalities and Proletarian Affairs (Paladin with Virtue of Empathy, Shield, Questing Vow, Great Weapon.) Accompanies the Enlightement Brigade

The Proletariat Leadership Committee (9 Knights of the Realm with Full Command)

The Quenelles Red Guards Brigade (25 Red Guards (Men at Arms) with Full Command)

Archers I (10 Peasant Bowmen, with braziers)

The Gisoreaux Red Guards Brigade (25 Red Guards (Men at Arms) with Full Command)

Archers II (10 Peasant Bowmen, with braziers)

The Foreign Brigade (25 Foreign Volunteers, including men from the Empire, the Under Empire, Estalia, and even Tilea (Men at Arms) with Full Command)

Archers III (10 Peasant Bowmen, with braziers)

Comrade Commissar for Information Leonardt Bronstein, mounted on a Mobile Proletarian Information Centre (Grail Reliquae with a total of 11 Red Guards listening to his inspirational words)

Red Cavalry I (5 Yeomen with Musician)

Red Cavalry II (5 Yeomen with Musician)

The Communications Commissariat (3 Pegasus Knights with Musician and Gallant)

Trachanka (Trebuchet)


The Environmentalist-Imperialists (naturally, superbly painted)

Arch-Spellsinger: Level 4 on a horse with a longbow. Spells: Throne of Vines, Dwellers Below, Flesh to Stone, Awakening of the Wood

Battle Standard Bearer (Noble on Unicorn, Wild Rider Kindred, 4+ ward save, Hail of Doom Arrow. Accompanies the Treekin)

Archers I: 16 archers

Archers II: 16 archers

Archers III: 16 archers

Archers IV: 10 archers

Eagle I (some sort of angel)

Eagle II (another angel)

Treekin (a group of “Orions”)- 3 Treekin

Treeman (a Shaggoth, painted for the occasion)


Scenario, Battlefield and Deployment (I am South)

The scenario was a standard Battle Line.

The battlefield the elves foolishly chose to attack through was heavily forested, with trees to the North-East, South-Central and North-Central. The Eastern flank was dominated by craters caused by our mighty cannon’s test firing (difficult terrain), which greatly restricted the movement of units there. The West was dominated by the rocks that our cannon had blasted in debris; to the North West, three stones standing straight, and a substantial formation to the South, some of which suspiciously resembled a skull…

The Wood Elves, taking turns, deployed first, demonstrating the haste entirely typical of consumerists. Their West flank (their right, typically) was their strongest, with the Treekin standing in the North West, staring down our left; their Spellsinger cowered feebly behind the standing stones, along with Eagle I. To the East, adjacent to the stones was a long line of bow-elves of Archers I and II. In the centre of their position was the Treeman, glowering decadently out of the forest at the Revolutionaries. At the Far East was another two archer units (Archers III and IV), and Eagle II behind the North-East forest. It seemed that they were aiming for a strong push down our own West flank.

Fortunately, it is self-evident that any pushes against a Red Guard held left are inevitable to fail, and that any who disagree will have to conduct a self-criticism on the orders of the Commissariat of Public Safety. After the characteristic excellent Red Reconnissance (taking turns to deploy means, as ever, that I can massively outnumber the enemy in terms of unit strengths and therefore see how they’re forming up), Comrade Von Stahl made his move. Of course, he chose to adopt a firm leftist stance, with his Quenelles Brigade and the Proletariat Leadership Committee forming up in the South-West, on either side of our own Archers I so as to take harsh and stern action against the Treekin. In front of them was Red Cavalry I, who had heroically volunteered to scout out the Treekin and search for their weak points; and behind the PLC were the heroes of the Gisoreaux Brigade, ready to provide more support if required (and advance relatively unmolested by arrow fire towards the Wood Elven lines.) Behind the Western rock formation were Wise Comrade Dubois and the Communications Commissariat, prepared to dart forth to behind the elven lines and support the advance of the Red Guard infantry with propaganda leaflets. The centre was taken up by the Foreign Brigade, Red Cavalry II in front, and Archers II, preparing to let the red tide overflow the elven-imperialists. And to the East, the Trachanka was prepared (defended by the Enlightenment Brigade and Archers III) to unleash the Revolution’s Red Fire against the Treeman!

Before the game started proper, Red Cavalry I used a vanguard move to investigate the Treekin. Red Cavalry II advanced slightly.


Plan: there wasn’t really much of a plan. I watched the wood elves form up, and countered accordingly. I knew the threat that a rampaging unit of Treekin could pose, and therefore stationed an overwhelming concentration of troops (including the PLC, the only Brigade I even vaguely trusted one on one, and enough infantry to drown them) to the West to counter them. The central infantry and archers were there purely to tie the elves up and lock their massed archers in place as the red tide advanced. The right flank was originally there to guard the trebuchet as it brought down the treeman, and then generally hold the elven East up (advancing if considered practical.)

Knowing the deadly efficacy of treemen, and cursing my poor deployment of Commissars (the centre, if I wanted to dash off quickly with the Communications Commissariat, would be completely leaderless), I had little confidence of victory. But, nevertheless, as Comrade Von Stahl started making his speeches (Prayed for the Blessing), I gritted my teeth, shouldered my polearm, and set forth…

Deployment (minus an eagle): 133622


Turn 1

The wood elves, a dishonourable race of creatures, opened the battle as Comrade Von Stahl conducted his lectures; immediately, their Treekin started to 133625move towards Red Cavalry I. It was noted, however, that these cowardly creatures, including the spineless decadent battle-standard bearer, did not charge the Red Cavalry, obviously fearing their renowned zeal and legendary fighting skill. Eagle II also shuffled around to the North East, seeking a better angle of advance against the Trachanka. Eagle I launched itself over the Red Cavalry, and took up a position close to the front of our lines, cowering from the red fire of our Revolutionary archers.

Their magic phase was, as it lacked revolutionary understanding, of a laughable inefficacy. The wood elf mage attempted to bond the PLC with those degenerates who lurk below the earth, but were held off by a scroll of Comrade Dubois.

The wood elves, renowned for the might of their shooting, unleashed what they took to be a fearsome barrage against the Revolutionaries. Thankfully, its effectiveness was negligible; four archers of Archers I were wounded, as were a number from Archers II. However, their stakes protected them from harm. Red Cavalry II suffered the loss of four horsemen, but the survivor stood tall and drew his sword. It was becoming apparent that the Wood Elves found it difficult to work out exactly what they should be focus on; entirely appropriate for a species torn between collectivist and consumerist desires!

End of wood elf turn 1 (ish) 133623

All along the Red lines, whistles blew and the advance began. Red Cavalry I continued to investigate the Treekin, sitting close to them at an angle to send them away from us should they attempt a charge. Under Comrade Von Stahl’s personal command, the Quenelles Brigade and PLC (with the Gisoreaux Brigade following close behind) started to march forward, taking care not to go too far until the Red Cavalry had concluded their investigations; Comrade Dubois also started to follow them. The Foreign Brigade advanced as rapidly as possible, letting up an URRAH as the Communications Commissariat rose up alongside them, atop a nearby rock formation. The sole Commissar of Red Cavalry II galloped towards the elven lines as rapidly as possible, attempting to distract them from his gallant Comrades. And the Enlightenment Brigade to the East, under Comrade Bampton (and in deviation from Comrade Von Stahl’s original plan) began to quick-march right towards the wood elven archers, blades drawn and the pulpit roaring into life. All organs of the Revolution were pulsing together, like a clenched fist!

Ever benevolent to her Comrades’ needs, Comrade Dubois healed two archers of Archers I in the magic phase, in valiant defiance of the wood elven spellsinger.

The Red Fire of the Revolution immediately began to rain upon the enemy lines, the wails of rockets clearly signalling the downfall of Capitalism; the Treeman was immediately blasted to thousands of pieces by the might of the Trachanka! The rain of fire arrows, launched securely from behind defensive stakes, also inflicted a number of casualties on Eastern elven archer units. To the West, Archers I, acting on the signals of Red Cavalry I, attempted to ignite Treekin, with little success. As yet…

Beginning of Wood Elf Turn 2 (I think): 133624

Turn 2

The Elves this turn acted in a typically evasive, cowardly manner. Shocked by the ferocity of Red Cavalry I, the Treekin stepped a few paces backwards, an action that would never be permitted to Red Guardsmen, and a clear sign of the need for firm discipline. Eagle I screamed and flew, right in front of the PLC (angled to redirect them towards the Treekin, away from the Western archer line.) Eagle II, on the other side, swept towards the Trebuchet, foolishly trying to outflank the archers defending it! (And succeeding-but not charging just yet. Time for a close volley…)

The elven magic phase, as ever, was ludicrously ineffective. Eagle I had its flesh turned to stone, a tactic hardly known for aerodynamic properties as it rapidly demonstrated. The Spellsinger once again tried to bond the PLC with creatures lurking below; but the PLC, veteran of many show jumping parts of Von Stahl Liberation Day parades, easily evaded their strikes, with only two becoming unhorsed! Shooting saw a handful more casualties amongst archers and Red Guardsmen, forcing Archers II to commence a tactical withdrawal under overwhelming force.

The Red Guards responded to this in full force, with the offensive pushing on. The Gisoreaux Brigade advanced as rapidly as possible, as did the Enlightement Brigade. The PLC charged into the stone eagle sitting in front of them, as the infantry near them continued to press forward to revolutionary victory. Archers II turned and rallied. Archers III turned to immediately face Eagle II as it swept down, trying to defend the Trachanka with their bows and their bodies if necessary, forming a wall of human flesh and courage against unnatural monstrosities. Both Red Cavalry forces continued to press forward; Cavalry II’s survivor galloped around to behind the elven lines, and Cavalry I pressed towards the Treekin. And the Communications Commissariat commenced a sustained leaflet drop over the elven lines, ending up just behind their Western archers with the Spellsinger in their pistol sights…

Magic was ineffective, as Comrade Dubois was busily engaged in a struggle of wills to overwhelm the Spellsinger.

Shooting, once again, was of magnificent striking power. A treekin was burned to the ground by the fire arrows of Archers I, with another wounded. Archers IV was dealt a severe blow as six of them were blown to fragments by the Trachanka, just as Eagle II was wounded twice by a point blank volley from Archers III!

In close combat, the hapless eagle, enslaved by the vile elven Magocrat, was put to a clumsy, rocky flight; but not before it misguidedly dragged a Leader-Commissar down with its claws. They refused to rise to the bait, however, refraining from pressing on towards the elven lines until all was prepared.

End of turn 2: 133625

Turn 3

The Treekin, it seemed, were enraged by the white-hot heat of revolution; they charged straight at Red Cavalry I; they held out defiantly! Seeing her most enthusiastic consumerists engaging, the spellsinger sent out a number of magical orders. Eagle I rallied-but right in front of Glorious Comrade Von Stahl, a self evidently foolish decision! Eagle III charged into the Trachanka, over the heads of the archers assigned to defend it; they will, of course, be watched closely to analyse reasons for their manifold failures! Both units of elven archers tried frantically to turn to face the Communications Commissariat; but only one succeeded, demonstrating the indiscipline of this individualist race!

Once again, the Spellsinger continued her futile attempts at casting magics at us! The Treekin’s flesh was hardened to stone, but nothing can douse revolutionary fire or a well-placed blow, Comrades! The PLC, contemptuous of the repetitive nature of the Spellsinger’s tactics as Dweller’s Below was hurled at them, nonchalantly refused to take any damage from such trifling abilities! (My dice luck was becoming absurd.)

The Communications Commissariat, subjected to point blank arrow volleys, found that a cabal of wreckers had set to work their armour, meaning that one was shot down and another was wounded! They turned from their efforts to bring Von Stahlist Thought to the Spellsinger with hate in their eyes; it is, of course, self-evidently for the elves’ own good that they endeavoured in this direction. The Enlightement Brigade, as it advanced, continued to take constant losses. The lone hero of the Red Cavalry was also shot down by an archer.

In close combat, the Trachanka (defended by a crew of Revolutionary heroes) lost a man, but battered the Eagle to death with a rocket-stick in an unmentionable area. On the other side, Red Cavalry I was annihilated by the Treekin, who turned to face the PLC…

Now, at long last, was time for Von Stahl’s main onslaught! The PLC couched lances, and with a thunderous cry from Comrade Grunwald, charged straight at the Treekin! To their left (an appropriate ideological position, Comrades), Comrade Von Stahl led the Quenelles Brigade against the eagle with a mighty URRAH! Behind them went the Gisoreaux Brigade, Comrade Dubois, and Archers I. And the Communications Commissariat charged the rear of Elven Archers I, breaking into the elven battle line, with the Foreign Brigade charging right at Elven Archers II; but the cowards fled before them! The Enlightenment Brigade pressed on, and Archers II and III tried to find ranges against enemy targets once again.

Two of the PLC mounted horses and rode again as Comrade Dubois roused the wounded to revolution once more; the dialectic had to continue, whatever the cost (as the men of the Gisoreaux Brigade close by found out when she miscast, killing four of them.)

Shooting continued to bring revolutionary force against the elves as numerous archers were brought down by a storm of red fire!

Comrade Von Stahl personally swung a blow into the degenerate Eagle, and ordered this betrayer of Revolutionary trust to depart immediately! It did so, fleeing the field a wiser bird for having this chance to encounter our Dear Leader! At the same time, Archers I, after being convinced of the supremacy of Revolutionary arms by losing four men, heeded the wisdom of Comrade Von Stahl and defected to our ranks (they fled and were ran down-just in front of Elven archers II’s firing line…) And, triumph on triumph, the Proletariat Leadership Committee, without a scratch on them, annihilated the Treekin entirely, spitting these decadent creatures with their mighty lances and pursuing them directly off the battlefield!

Awilla the Hun
26-02-2012, 22:22
Beginning of Turn 4/end of turn 3: 133626

Turn 4

Witnessing the tide of battle turn against them as the Red wave pressed up the West, the Wood Elves began to act with desperation. Archers II rallied, took in the mass of Pegasi and infantry bearing down on them, and prepared to sell their lives dearly.

Elven magic was ineffective. The elven shooting continued to inflict casualties upon the Red Guards, the Enlightenment Brigade in particular suffering severely, but pushing on under the inspired leadership of Comrade Bampton.

Without any significant opposition in close quarters, the Red Guards marched triumphantly forth. The Proletariat Leadership Committee returned behind the North West rock formation, terrifying the Spellsinger as they arrived close to her. The Red Infantry surged forward. And the Communications Commissariat turned, ready to launch another charge.

Magic saw the Communications Commissariat being returned to full health again, another sign of Dubois’ benevolence. And the elven losses to shooting continued to mount.

Turn 5

Desperately, the Wood Elven mage, watching the single survivor of Archers IV retreat and galloping to a place of safety from Comrade Grunwald’s PLC, unleashed every piece of magical power she had-only to conduct rightist deviationist practices, and have it fail entirely, turning Archers II to stone but massively weakening elven magical strength!

The Enlightenment Brigade, after its long struggle, was finally eliminated by a storm of elven arrows, and the Communications Commissariat suffered another loss. A cry of vengeance was let up from the Red lines.

And was followed swiftly as the Communications Commissariat crashed into Archers II, leaflets streaming behind them and infantry surging forward in their wake, including Comrade Von Stahl. They inflicted no losses, and a Commissar was cut down. This was due to their concern that all wood elves are given a chance to join the Revolution.

The noose closes... 133627

Turn 6

The elves of Archers III made an about turn, and shot a volley into the flank of the Foreign Brigade; but these revolutionaries, under Comrade Heavyfoot’s forceful guidance, pushed on. At the same time, Comrade Dubois was slain by a group of underground treekin (awakening of the wood); Archers I, a group of capitalist –roaders close to the Wood Elven right flank, fled from this in terror.

Mindful of the drawn pistol of the surviving Communications Commissar, the Foreign Brigade and PLC charged into the front and flank of Archers II, routing and liquidating them absolutely. The wood elves were forced into withdrawal, before the overwhelming strength of the Revolution.

The game ends: 133628

Result: A Red Guards victory by over 600 points!


The first, most obvious thing was dice luck. The Red Guards, once again, had it in ample supply. I made disproportionate amounts of leadership tests armour saves (and, more importantly, passed absurd amounts of Dwellers’ Below tests), and hit a lot of things with the Trachanka, which meant that the Guards doggedly weathered the worst the wood elves could throw at them with little complaint. The second is that the Red Guards are a difficult sort of force for the wood elves to face. Numerous enough to absorb arrows, high leadership, possessed of just enough firepower to threaten forest spirits and sufficient sledgehammers of heavy cavalry (some flying) to keep their fragile archer lines on their toes. The third is that my opponent was generous enough to allow for my rusty (with regards to rules) brain.

I went in with no battle plan other than to kill the Treeman and Treekin, and then move onto whatever was left with whatever elements of mass and manoeuvre I had left over, using Red Cavalry to absorb arrows and redirect whenever possible and the Communications Commissariat to charge/harry/support infantry attacks when possible. This worked quite well. The key, other than outrageous luck, was deployment. Half of the wood elven archers, a force able to inflict horrifying losses on my main force to the West, was tied up engaging in pointless missile duels with my archers, trebuchet fire, and annihilating the hapless Enlightenment Brigade (the epitome of revolutionary tactics, this) rather than moving up to support their Comrades. Killing the treeman in turn 1 didn’t help them either.

I also took some of the tournament’s lessons to heart. Unless as a last resort, Red Guard infantry cannot and should not engage monsters frontally; all they are is extra combat resolution. Light cavalry are handy as annoying screens. And the mass of the Red Guards, I’m starting to learn, is best employed at least in part offensively. A massive long lance of cavalry cannot find room to counter attack, and it is best to use the standard bearer to support massed charges against weak points in the enemy line, with all possible support offered by infantry and archers, rather than having the mass simply standing still and dying.

So, good game to my opponent, and Forward Comrades, to Victory! Any comments and advice (tactics, list building, writing, etc) will, of course, be appreciated.

27-02-2012, 11:00
Did you have some home rules? Wood Elf BSB can't have any Kindred, and NEVER ride the Unicorn.

Awilla the Hun
27-02-2012, 11:49
I may have got some things mixed up. I'm not familiar with Wood Elves. The BSB (whatever its steed was) had a charge strength bonus, and an attack bonus when charged, and only carried a normal army battle standard. So, report any good?

For my own amusement, I've assembled a win/loss ratio of my revolutionary battles, to see how ineffective they actually are.


Draw (including "ran out of time"): IIIIIIIIIIII (12)

Loss: IIIIIII (7)

To my great surprise, slightly coming out on top.

(EDITED on 8th July in order to bring the total up to the Student Nationals.)

29-02-2012, 03:45
I may have got some things mixed up. I'm not familiar with Wood Elves. The BSB (whatever its steed was) had a charge strength bonus, and an attack bonus when charged, and only carried a normal army battle standard. So, report any good?

Errr, no - that was illegal BSB on Unicorn )) Only Spellweavers/singers may ride Unicorn.

Awilla the Hun
29-02-2012, 10:32
May not have been a Unicorn then. I'm sure there was one somewhere, so I probably got them mixed up.

Awilla the Hun
11-03-2012, 23:52
The Chains of Capitalism


Comrades! This day, we march to strike a great and terrible blow against a despicable and terrible combination of Anti-Proletarian Forces. For some time now, it has been known by all staunch Revolutionaries that, set against them, there exists a gargantuan conspiracy of supposedly disunited factions-the so called forces of “order” and “disorder”, which, whilst conducting their shadow boxing, in fact seek to suppress the working classes, replacing true class consciousness with a false consciousness, and create division between the workers of the world by sending them to fight each other, on behalf of wicked capitalist-imperialist-royalist-Chaotic despot-elvenist masters, who in turn make a gigantic profit out of the sale of arms and accumulation of military glory. However, in few factions does this dichotomy express itself more clearly than in the so-called Chaos Dwarves. The combination of slave-owning militarist feudalism, bourgeoisie capitalism and chaotic-despotism, expressed through a bizarre and dangerous mixture of races, is a clear and self-evident sign of the lengths to which the Old World Conspiracy goes to keep the working classes supressed. When their forces were sighted, encroaching upon the People’s Land, it was therefore quite clear that they had to be taught the true power of an enlightened Proletariat by the Red Guards, who, under the inspirational and clear sighted leadership of Glorious Comrade von Stahl struck them with the force of a revolutionary thunderbolt. The attack was absolutely not caused by Glorious Comrade Von Stahl looking up from his histories of the Russian Civil War, noticing that they had an armoured train, and declaring that it was “the new must-have” for revolutionaries.



It was quite clear, the moment that I heard someone had turned up with an army entirely based around slaves, capitalism and industry, that the Red Guards would have to fight this new threat. (They were, I remember pointing out, the single most anti-Red Guard thing ever made.) Especially as it was an unconventional force, which you don’t see very often. Doubly so as it was being played by a veteran of the last thread, a Lizardman player who I got on well with, but (strangely) hadn’t ever taken on “face to face” in a one on one game: always with allies getting in the way. Besides, I needed practice for the Student Nationals. Moreover, I’d just received some army list advice from a certain Comrade Jind Singh, which I had to put into practice at some point…


The Armies (2000 points. Again, my mental arithmetic was done on the spot.)
Glorious Comrade Von Stahl’s Red Guards

Glorious Comrade Chairman Heinrich Von Stahl (Bretonnian Lord, with Virtue of Empathy, enchanted shield, Hammer of the Proletariat (sword of might), Book of Stahlist-Taalist Thought (Braid of Bordeleaux) Accompanies the Quenelles Brigade

Comrade du Bois, Commissar for Magical Affairs (Damsel with Dispel Scroll. Spell: Earthbloom.) Accompanies the Gisoreaux Brigade.

Comrade Stephan Grunwald, Commissar for Warfare (Paladin with Virtue of Discipline, Speaking Trumpet with Book of Stahlist Thought (battle standard), Revolutionary Fanaticism (Grail Vow), Virtue of Duty, Barded Warhorse, War Banner. Accompanies the Proletariat Leadership Committee

Comrade Hugh of Bampton, Commissar for Nationalities and Proletarian Affairs (Paladin with Virtue of Empathy, Shield, Questing Vow, Great Weapon.) Accompanies the Foreign Brigade

The Proletariat Leadership Committee (9 Knights of the Realm with Full Command)

The Quenelles Red Guards Brigade (40 Red Guards (Men at Arms) with Full Command)

Archers I (10 Peasant Bowmen, with braziers)

The Gisoreaux Red Guards Brigade (20 Red Guards (Men at Arms) with Full Command)

Archers II (10 Peasant Bowmen, with braziers)

The Foreign Brigade (15 Foreign Volunteers, including men from the Empire, the Under Empire, Estalia, and even Tilea (Men at Arms) with Full Command)

Archers III (10 Peasant Bowmen, with braziers)

Red Cavalry I (5 Yeomen with Musician)

Red Cavalry II (5 Yeomen with Musician)

The Communications Commissariat (3 Pegasus Knights with Musician and Gallant)

Trachanka (Trebuchet)

The Flunkies of Chaotic-Despot Finance Capital

Level 4 Sorcerer on Taurus (with Magic Weapon that does d3 wounds per attack.) Taurus-flying bull mount that ignites enemies in base to base contact with it. Can Thunderstomp. Spells centred around direct damage.

20 Warriors with Great Axes, 4+ Armour, Full Command

12 Blunderbusses with Full Command (short ranged, powerful, multiple shot handgun. Bonuses for being over 10 strong.)

5 Hobgoblin Wolf Riders with shields

5 Centaurs with Great Weapons, Champion (Monstrous Cavalry on cavalry sized bases)

The Armoured Train (all parts of it were separate, but they could be linked together into a cool little train. With spikes. And far too many guns for my liking. This is Warhammer Fantasy. Hordes of peasants with medieval weaponry and Maoist fanaticism facing the dwarven worshippers of an Eldritch Abomination and their slaves, fighting from the back of a giant steampunk train.)

Steam Engine (a chariot of some sort)

Magma Cannon (cannon that shoots flame templates)

Railway Howitzer (with an Ogre and some Dwarves crewing. Causes dangerous terrain tests on units it damages.)

Scenario and Deployment

The Scenario was a standard Battle line

The battlefield was a verdant field, which the Red Guards sought to defend from the depredations of vile capitalist industries! (As opposed, of course, to the wholesome and productive revolutionary industries!) Two hills faced each other, in the North West (this one was covered with skulls) and South West. The ground between these was clear, promising a clear slaughter ground for capitalism. To the East of the Southern hill was a copse of trees, separating the West from the Centre, as did a large rock formation in the West- Centre. The very centre was clear, suggesting the main part of the battle would be waged here. The East sector, again, was separated by a forest to the North, and a rock formation to the South. The far East had a forest near the middle, and a hill to the Far North.

The Chaos Dwarves deployed first (of course, on the North; the Red Guards are South), and went first. Their right, a sure heartland of capitalism, had the Magma Cannon on the skull hill, with the Sorcerer and his Taurus to its adjacent West, glowering at the Revolutionaries soon to be facing them; the coward would never dare advance upon us without his compensatory cannon close to hand! The Western passage between trees and rocks was dominated by the Steam Engine, puffing menacingly as its crew, shrunken and blackened by generations of mining, frantically worked the boiler. The main infantry line was deployed roughly between the Central rocks and North East-Centre trees, with the Warriors forming a block to the West of the Blunderbusses. Behind them, the massive railway gun was unhitched and prepared for firing. Finally, the East was dominated by their enslaved races, with their hobgoblin wolf riders forming a line in front of the Centaurs. Their political unreliability, and their leftist position in the enemy lines, were duly noted.

The Red Guards, as ever, were able to watch the enemy deploy much of his strength whilst setting out light units; and could therefore counter them accordingly, all the while listening to guidance and inspiration from Glorious Comrade von Stahl (Prayed for the Blessing.) The Western flank, as a bastion of Leftism, was reckoned to be relatively safe from one man on a Taurus and a decadent, soon to be liquidated pair of war machines. It was therefore held by the Trachanka and Foreign Brigade (with Comrade Bampton) on the South West hill, with Red Cavalry 1 and the Communications Commissariat ready to provide support and war machine hunting. The Proletariat Leadership Committee, under Comrade Grunwald, formed up on the other side of the South-Western forest, ready to assail the degenerate Steam Engine with lances and Revolutionary rhetoric. To their adjacent East stood Glorious Comrade von Stahl himself, at the head of the Quenelles Brigade formed into an attack column set to storm the lines of Capitalism! The centre also contained many of the Red Guard missile troops, with the Trebuchet and two archer units formed up behind their stakes, ready to support the advance and punish the foolishness of the blundering blunderbusses for packing such short ranged firepower. Finally, the Eastern flank, in preparation to hold the Rightist advance in check, was held by Comrade Dubois at the head of the Gisoreaux Brigade, with Red Cavalry 2 screening and the final archer unit preparing to cut down the Hobgoblin bandits.


Vanguard moves saw the Taurus advance, as well as Red Cavalry 1 towards his flank, the Communications Commissariat a long way forward, and both Red Cavalry 2 and the Wolf Riders towards each other.

Pre battle thoughts: The Chaos Dwarves pack an unnerving amount of firepower, true, and have some hammers. However, the Red Guards have a number of methods of neutralising hammers and getting to the squishy capitalists behind the guns. Especially as the dwarves seem to lack that many troops to defend their pieces with, and I have enough men to take whatever he throws at me. More or less. Well, it worked against the Empire. That Steam Engine could have a heavy punch, but if I throw enough cavalry at the thing, it will be forced to run; its useless in a standing fight. And those Centaurs, too. Mass archery and a brisk infantry counter attack (preferably in the flank), with regeneration, could keep them at bay. Well, lets go Comrades. We’ve got a train to catch!


Turn 1

All along the Chaos Dwarf lines, there was a frantic rush of activity, obviously due to terror of the impact of Comrade von Stahl’s rhetoric on their stock market prices. The Chaos Dwarf infantry in the centre, struggling under the weight of their decadent gold army, advanced as rapidly as they could. The Wolf Riders advanced, inclining towards the centre. To the West, the Taurus flapped clumsily towards Comrade Bampton’s hill. And the Staem Engine, turning away from the wrath of Comrade Grunwald, was made to chug back to the shelter of the Dwarven infantry. But there can be no shelter, Comrades, from the force of the Revolution! (My opponent really didn’t want to suffer a cavalry charge. Despite it being toughness 8.)

The magic of the anarcho-capitalists clearly demonstrated the perils of decadence and over exploitation. (As the nearby Vampire Counts player, a sinister and embittered veteran of his “centuries of learning” blowing up in his face, was eager to explain.) The Sorcerer struck at the Communications Commissariat. Due to circumstances which are still being investigated (Comrade Dubois, in particular, will be under close scrutiny), a massive fireball struck the Communications Commissariat, immolating two heroic Commissars; but their deaths, Comrades, were not in vain. In dying, they called to Comrade von Stahl for wisdom. He answered, by forcing the Sorcerer to miscast and forget the spell, lowering his magic level by 2; one pest to never trouble the revolutionaries again with such vigour!

The Chaotic contraptions, enraged at their failures, began to spit fire at the Revolutionaries; but this reactionary onslaught was almost entirely useless. One Proletariat Leader-Commissar was melted under the onslaught by a Magma Cannnon, and three of the Quenelles Brigade were blown asunder by the onslaught of the railway howitzer. Von Stahlism protects, Comrades. If they seek to shake us under their onslaught, they will be gravely disappointed!

And so they were; only four Red Guardsmen had to be executed before the Quenelles Brigade started moving again. ((After a giant, angry fistful of dice.)) The Proletariat Leadership Committee immediately started forward up the West, rushing straight towards the Steam Engine. Behind them came the Quenelles Brigade, reciting the words of Glorious Comrade von Stahl. This, with characteristic cunning, left the dwarven infantry in the centre with no target before them save for archers and artillerymen on the other side of the battlefield. On the Eastern front, Red Cavalry 2 rode up to the Centaurs and angled themselves to force their charge to expose their flank to the Gisoreaux Brigade, who were following close behind. Ad on the West, Comrade Bampton started to quote Von Stahl himself, inspiring the men around him. Red Cavalry 1 moved up to flank the Taurus, and the Communications Commissar flew onto the hill, right next to the Magma Cannon.

Comrade Dubois, atoning for her failure, casted earthbloom on the Gisoreaux Brigade; more volunteers were to flood towards the Revolution should they be called upon.

The counter-fire of the Red Guards proved highly deadly. Two blunderbussmen were cut down, their armour proving no match for arrows. The Centaurs suffered two wounds from the lethal archery of the Red Guards. And the steam engine was severely damaged by the Trachanka, smiting it with the revolution’s own red fire!

The engine, in response, continued its retreat, crashing full tilt into the North Eastern forest in its terror! The anarcho-capitalist infantry reacted slowly; the blunderbusses continued to advance stubbornly towards the red lines, as did the Warriors, seemingly unaware that the threat was no longer directed at them. The Centaurs, as expected, charged Red Cavalry 2, who held before them like true revolutionaries. The Taurus continued to move forward, trying a charge at the Foreign Brigade, but failing miserably!

The Sorcerer tried to cast magic, but his magic missile fell contemptibly short of the red lines.

The artillery of the Chaotic-Despots spoke again. A number of Red Guardsmen of the Quenelles Brigade were incinerated by fire, as were two of the Proletariat Leadership Committee; but both parties, inspired by the works of Comrade von Stahl and The Party, pressed on.

The Centaurs killed three of Red Cavalry 2, forcing these cowards to retreat. But the assault upon capitalism was yet to begin…

With a series of “URRAH!”s, the Red Guards struck repeatedly and firmly at the forces of anarcho-capitalism. The Communications Commissar charged the Magma Cannon, after first showering it with leaflets. Red Cavalry 2 rallied. And the Gisoreaux Brigade charged the Centaurs (dissapointingly, at their front arc.) The Proletariat Leadership Committee burst forth, riding at full tilt towards the Railway howitzer, eager to liberate the ogre who was whipped and forced to load their gun against his will; on Commissar, alas, was executed for insufficient revolutionary courage before heavy artillery fire. (Dangerous Terrain.) Behind them, the Quenelles Brigade doggedly pressed on.


Comrade Dubois, defying the diminished Capitalist sorcerer, passed Earthbloom. The Gisoreaux Brigade would lack no volunteers this day (5+ regeneration.)

The Hobgoblin wolf riders were showered with arrows; reduced to 2 riders, they panicked and fled from the battle. Losses amongst the Blundering Blunderbusses started to mount as they stolidly pressed forward, arrows raining down upon them; they only turned when, behind them, the Trachanka obliterated the Steam Engine with a lethal rocket! The Trebuchet, however, only killed a handful of Warriors; the crew, however, were getting their eye in.

In close combat, the Magma Cannon crew, after readin the Commissar’s leaflets, gladly surrendered to the REVOLUTIOANRY cause; the Commissar overran to in the middle of the Dwarven infantry. (Not that Chaos Dwarves notice march blockers, so fixated are they on seeking profit!) The Gisoreaux Brigade, despite suffering significant losses, overwhelmed the Centaurs, killing one and wounding another, almost overrunning them completely like a Red Tide; but these creatures, ego conscious as ever, rallied one inch ahead!


Seeing the inevitable waves of revolution pressing through history, the Chaos Dwarves attempted to react like the reactionaries they are; by striking out. The sorcerer, tired of his feeble magics, charged the Foreign Brigade on the hill. The Centaurs rallied, and the Blunderbusses advanced towards the East, weapons now trained on the remains of Red Cavalry 2. And the Warriors, turning, began the slow advance to the rear, having finally realised the true direction of the threat. Comrade Von Stahl, to their direct West across the rock formation, led the men in a defiant series of quotations and stern criticisms against them, and the entire Chaotic-Dwarven political system.

It was perhaps these which attracted the railway gun’s attention, but this could never have led to quite so many losses, or so many summary executions to get the survivors moving again. There were doubtlessly and self evidently wreckers amongst the Brigade! Just as there were among Red Cavalry 2, who were obliterated by blunderbuss volleys.

The Sorcerer was waylaid as Comrade Heavyfoot heroically challenged him to a duel! This bravest of revolutionary champions wounded the steed with her axe, before being burned, gored, chopped up and eaten by the Taurus and its degenerate rider. If only all revolutionaries had such a spirit of self sacrifice! May the example of Comrade Heavyfoot, as her corpse was torn to pieces under the bull’s hoofs, inspire us all to such magnificent action!

The Proletariat Leadership Committee certainly were, for they charged the Railway howitzer; these Commissars jumped aboard and stormed the vile engine, seeking to liberate the ogre from its degenerate servitude! So, too, were the Gisoreaux Brigade, who charged the Centaurs frontally again! Clearly, the capitalist fusion of collective and individual, as symbolised in man and beast, is enraging to the stalward Red Guardsman! The Quenelles Brigade, reduced to just over half strength due to the bombardment of artillery, executions and dangerous terrain, continued its advance. At least everyone had a polearm now.

So enthused was she, indeed, that Comrade Dubois failed to cast Earthbloom. No regeneration this time, then…

The Red shooting, however, was more effective, as the arrow storm continued to strike down the Blunderbusses, as did Trebuchet and Trachanka shots; a number of Warriors were also killed, significantly weakening the unit.

The PLC, with a dazzling display of swordsmanship, liberated the railway Howitzer; the entire Chaotic armoured train was now in revolutionary hands! (“Now,” said Comrade Grunwald to the Ogre, sheathing his sword and running to his horse, “d’you know how to drive this thing? The revolution is at stake!”) They overran to a land uncorrupted by capitalism: off the board edge.

Awilla the Hun
11-03-2012, 23:52
If only their Comrades in the Red Guards Brigade were so valiant. The men of the Foreign and Gisoreaux Brigades both gave way before their opponents. The Gisoreaux Brigade was entirely annihilated by the Centaurs, leaving just an archer unit defending the Eastern front. And only Comrade Bampton escaped from the collapse of his Brigade, leaving the Trachanka to fend for itself as the Taurus overran straight into it. This shameful display of revolutionary arms must not go unpunished, Comrades!


The Warriors, enthused by this display of relative competence on their part, advanced further towards the North board edge, seeking to deny the progress of Comrade Grunwald. The Centaurs tried a charge at the Eastern archers, but failed. And the Blunderbusses continued to advance in perfect unison.

There was no magic, or shooting, due to the might of the Red Guards!

The Taurus incinerated two of the Trachanka Crew, before being sorely wounded; a bucket of water was upended onto it, momentarily quenching its fires of capitalism and hate! It then eviscerated the surviving artillerymen, but their sacrifice will be forever remembered, Comrades! It overran, forcing Comrade Bampton to flee again…


But he rallied, on the very edge of the board, and readied his great weapon, forged of proletarian iron, before the massive creature before him. Seeking to recover the reputation of the Red Guards, the Quenelles Brigade, led by Glorious Comrade Von Stahl himself, ploughed into the unguarded flank of the Warriors just as, with a shower of leaflets, the Communications Commissar charged their rear. Under the eyes of Comrade Grunwald himself, our brave Commissar for War, and Glorious Comrade von Stahl, they would show the meaning of Proletarian courage! Every bowman and artilleryman available (an archer unit, Red Cavalry 1, and the Trebuchet) turned and prepared to fire at the Sorcerer…

And did so, with disappointing results. The Trebuchet misfired, killing a crewman. And the bowmen simply missed, or else were absorbed by the beast’s hide. The perfidy of wreckers and saboteurs, Comrades, knows no bounds!

In close combat, however, the Revolution still showed that it had life left in it. Glorious Comrade Von Stahl, with all the wrath of the revolution behind him, routed the Warriors and overran them. Pitchfork and courage overcame decadent golden armour and clumsy pickaxes, a weapon designed for purely capitalist purposes; and the red flag was soon raised high over their captured banner, and the mountain of their dead!


The Centaurs crashed into the Eatern archers, absorbing their final volley, and the Taurus foolishly charged into stubborn Comrade Bampton, legs braced and great weapon ready. The Blunderbusses, in lock step, finally reached firing range of the Red lines, in the form of a unit of archers.

With a clank, their legs snapped down. With another clank, a long line of guns went to shoulders. Their guns spoke like thunder, cutting down five archers. In a scene remarkably reminiscent of the Odessa Steps in Battleship Potemkin, the survivors fled before the line of advancing riflemen, straight off the battlefield and past the trebuchet was it was being repaired. Shame on them, Comrades!

Comrade Bampton stood alone before the Taurus. With the words of Von Stahl on his lips, he parried and dodged blow after blow, before raising his great weapon and smiting the vile creature three times. He wounded once, and his blow cut deep. He roared his Urrah-but was crushed under the immense, decadent bulk of its Stomp, before it overran off the board. The Archers facing the Centaurs, however, weren’t so lucky; they were overran by their charge, and crushed utterly.

Archers and Red Cavalrymen formed a cordon around where the Taurus was expected to return, and the forces to the North (Von Stahl, the Quenelles Brigade, the PLC, and the Communications Commissar) began a final advance Southwards.

As the Trebuchet was busily being repaired, there was no shooting. Neither was there any close combat. All was quiet, save for the preaching of Comrade Von Stahl, the clicks of blunderbusses being loaded, the marching of boots, and the moans of the wounded…

The Taurus re emerged, and flew over to near the Trebuchet, too close to be fired upon by it (coward!) So did the Centaurs, who emerged in the South Eastern area, snarling and fleeing from any true fighting.

The Blunderbusses fired another volley, but merely damaged the Trebuchet slightly, killing another crewman.

With a triumphant, final cheer, the PLC charged the rear of the Blunderbusses, showing once again the superiority of Revolutionary brainworkers over anarcho-Capitalist gadgetry! The final units of archers and Red Cavalry also turned again to shoot the Taurus one last time…


The Sorcerer was brought to earth with a resounding thump under a storm of arrows which slew his mount. He looked up, saw a mass of angry peasants, and began to reconsider his ideology, just as a Centaur was crushed by the Trebuchet.

And the Blunderbusses were annihilated by the PLC under Comrade Grunwald, who slaughtered and trampled these Capitalists to a man!

Victory Points:
Chaos Dwarves killed 720.
Red Guards killed 1738.
Victory to the Revolution!

Overall, I have to say that my opponent had an uphill struggle. He was slightly better off than the Wood Elves in terms of armour, firepower and manoeuvrability (although he had been previously defeated by them, I gather-skirmishers don’t mix well with blast templates and misfiring weapons), but that was it. In terms of boots on the ground, his army seemed far too small for the task in hand. This could be due to Forge World points costs being somewhat off; I don’t know. But he didn’t have enough troops to protect his war machines and attack my own longer ranged missile lines at the same time. I also succeeded in feeding his two main “hammers” (the Taurus mounted Sorcerer-keeping him in combat made my magic phases far more convenient-and the Centaurs) masses of cheap troops. I admittedly didn’t expect them to die so quickly (this is why I use a small reliquae, in defiance of the internet; to hold enemies off my damned artillery emplacements and tie them down!), but they did their job. In model terms, he killed a lot of peasants, but not that many of the main hitters (PLC, Pegasi, and Comrade von Stahl’s Brigade.) What infantry he did have were deployed for an attack down the centre. When he found that I had no intention of meeting him head on and eating blunderbuss fire, the plan faltered somewhat. Manouverability and revolutionary will won the day!

Good game to my opponent, against a beautiful army. Photos will be included, Comrades! Any comments and advice will be appreciated.

Awilla the Hun
11-04-2012, 21:06
The Elvenist Reaction
Comrades! It can now be revealed, to the undying delight and hope of the working classes of the Old World, that the Red Guards shall once again be marching to the liberation of their proletarian Comrades in the Student Nationals of 2012! Let all sing praise to our inspirational leader, Glorious Comrade von Stahl, for letting this be so! Let all Capitalists quake and tremble in terror at the righteous fury of the Proletariat!

But first, Comrades, we had to reach the wind-swept, stormy highlands that we call Cardiff. To do so required marching through a marauding host of Sadist-Elvenist exploiters who dared sully the collective farms of our peerless and bountaeous motherland, the People’s Democratic Republic of Mousillon. These exploiters, entirely emblematic of the whole capitalist system, had to be dealt with most ruthlessly and vigorously, so as to ensure the undying safety of our people. Fortunately, our mighty revolutionary army, led by Glorious Comrade von Stahl, was on hand to chastise these aggressors…


The battle that followed was two things. Firstly, it was an excuse to test out 50 strong hordes of Red Guardsmen, backed by the Lore of Beasts. Secondly, it was a rematch against an old wargaming friend of mine and an old opponent of the Red Guards, previously seen drawing (and occasionally defeating) them with various mixtures of Daemons, Chaos Warriors and Dark Elves. Well, we had both returned from University, with our armies at the ready. His Dark Elves had expanded, and were ready for vengeance. As I was getting my models out, a young fellow turned up and started boasting about his Lizardman, vis a vis incompetent Bretonnians. Other young people arrived and started backing my opponent with his “badass” Dark Elves and “hardcore” dragon. They would return periodically throughout the game. The intense ideological debate that followed concerning the proletarian/counter-revolutionary natures of their armies drove the store manager to asking us, quite loudly, if we would be so good as to play some warhammer. So we did, in a standard Battle Line…


The Armies

Glorious Comrade von Stahl’s Red Guards
Comrade Chairman Heinrich Von Stahl, the Comrade General (Bretonnian Lord with Virtue of Empathy, Enchanted Shield, Birth-Sword of Carcassonne. Marches firmly towards a new revolutionary future with the Quenelles Brigade)

Comrade Commissar for Magical Affairs DuBois (Level 1 Damsel with dispel scroll, Lore of Beasts, Wildform.)

Comrade Junior Commissar for Magical Affairs Ozymandias. (Level 1 Damsel with Silver Mirror, Lore of Beasts, Wildform.)

Comrade Commissar for War Stephan Grunwald (Battle Standard Bearer with Barded Warhorse, War Banner, Virtue of Duty, Shield, Grail Vow. Rides with the PLC.)

Proletariat Leadership Committee and Advisers (8 Knights of the Realm with Full Command.)

Quenelles Red Guard Brigade (50 men at arms with full command)

Quenelles Red Guard Commissariat (10 archers with stakes and braziers.)

Enlightenment Brigade (Reliquae with a total of 10 men.)

Foreign Brigade (25 Men at Arms with Full Command)

Gisoreaux Red Guard Commissariat (10 archers with stakes and braziers.)

The Foreign Brigade's Own Commissariat (10 archers with stakes and braziers.)

Communications Commissariat (3 Pegasus Knights with Musician and Gallant.)

Red Cavalry 1 (5 mounted yeomen with musician)

Trachanka (Trebuchet)

Trebuchet (‘No wall can withstand Revolutionary Thought or Trebuchets!’)

The Agents of Sadist-Elvenist Slavocrat-Capitalism

Dreadlord on Dragon with Lance, 1+ armour save

Level 2 Sorceress with 3 Spells , Cold One (rides with the Cold One Knights)

Level 2 Sorceress with 2 Spells, Dispel Scroll (cowers with the Spearmen)

40 Spearmen with Full Command, Banner of Amour Piercing

15 Executioners with Full Command

8 Cold One Knights with Full Command

Crossbowmen 1 (10 repeater crossbowmen)

Crossbowmen 2 (10 repeater crossbowmen)

Repeater Bolt Thrower

Repeater Bolt Thrower



The battlefield, as the Red Guards marched on from the South was predominately empty, demonstrating all too clearly the desolation spread by the Dark Elf army: particularly, their flying lord, who exploited his dragon so severely. The field was of mud, with the remains of a forest to the Central West, an abandoned watchtower on a hill in the centre (impassable terrain), and a desolate hill to the Central East.

The Red Guards deployed first, a cunning move from my opponent to maximise the amount of troops I had to put down whilst forcing me to go second and receive Comrade von Stahl’s inspiration. The Western flank was left predominately empty save for a unit of longbowmen and the Red Cavalry (who used a Vanguard Move to advance); their leftist position was considered extremely reliable. The centre was held more securely with two archer units either side of the Quenelles brigade, led by Comrade von Stahl in person, and the Enlightenment Brigade; these would form a solid infantry centre to our lines, with Comrade Dubois and both the Trebuchet and Trachanka just behind it. The right, however, and therefore the Elven left (a clear area of ideological sympathy and therefore revolutionary breakthrough) was where the main Red offensive would fall; spearheaded by the crack troops of the Proletariat Leadership Committee, the Communications Commissariat, and the Foreign Brigade to provide weight of mass revolutionary support.

The Dark Elves deployed second. The Western flank was filled with both artillery pieces, and very little else; this was a virtually empty environment for their bolts, due to von Stahl’s cunning. Their centre practically mirrored our own, with a crossbow unit on either side of a main mass of infantry: the Spearmen, and to the adjacent East of them the Executioners (making ready to march across the hill and, perhaps, flank the PLC and Communications Commissariat.) Their East was where the Dragonlord and Cold Ones were drawn out, so as to face the wrath of the main revolutionary assault.

The Dark Elves went first.

Pre game thoughts: At long last, I got to face a balanced army. One with infantry, cavalry, artillery, even a few fliers. Not unlike the Red Guards, in a way. The advantage of magic was with the opponent-but I predicted that that would start to decline once his sorcerers (hidden in his main assault units) were engaged in combat. I had enough shooting to, hopefully, whittle down his executioners and spearmen, making them manageable for the overwhelming mass of my infantry, which would hopefully be inspired and transformed into New Von Stahlist Man by Wyssan’s Wildform, and protected from at least the bolt throwers. And as for the dragon… well, that had been drawn out into facing my best heavy cavalrymen. If anyone could take it on and defeat it in combat (resolution) it would be the PLC and Communications Commissariat. If they failed, I had to hope the artillery wouldn’t let me down. When had it done that before?


Turn 1

As Comrade von Stahl lectured the Red Guards about the coming onslaught, and the yapping pack of jackals that is GW’s early teen/child brigade started to draw back, the game commenced. The Elves immediately launched a series of rash actions, desperate to strike away the tide of revolution. The Dragon was forced forwards, landing right in front of the PLC and Communications Commissariat; behind it, a unit of crossbowmen and the Cold One Knights prowled. In the centre, elven infantry and archers began a general advance, with the Executioners moving towards the hill and the Spearmen the plain between watchtower and hill. They were whipped into battle by a diabolic and fiendish coven of luscious and darkly attractive sorceresses, absolutely not exaggerated by revolutionary propagandists to draw readers.

Their magic phase saw the attempted unleashing of a hail of blades at the Communications Commissariat, which was absorbed to little effect. Indeed, the Sorceress with the Knights was gravely wounded as Comrade Ozymandias redistributed her magical power against her with a Silver Mirror; a true testament to unreliable capitalist magocracy!

The Red Cavalry suffered two casualties to repeater bolt thrower fire, but pressed valiantly on. The dragon conserved its firey breath for close combat; as if that would save it from the might of the Proletariat Leadership Committee, the heart of revolutionary military operations!

Comrade Grunwald took one look at the dragon capering before his lines, and, after denouncing its leftist position most firmly, led a combined charge against it. In a truly united effort with the PLC to its front and the Communications Commissariat to its left flank, this rapacious beast was immediately set upon by the revolutionary brainworkers, with the Foreign Brigade following closely behind. To the West, the Red Cavalry continued to move towards the bolt throwers, bows at the ready.

Magic proved wholly ineffective, as was shooting (apart from the slaying of a Cold One Knight by the Trachanka.) This will be investigated most thoroughly by the Commissariat of Public Safety; perhaps the earlier so called “expert” artillerists were merely trying to lull us into a false sense of security. They shall be forced to make some most stringent self-criticism sessions, Comrades.

In close combat, the thunderous charge of the Revolution gave the dragon pause. The puny blows of the Dreadlord bounced harmlessly off the armour and righteous revolutionary fury of the Proletariat Leadership Committee; but the beast haplessly forced to attack with fire and claws, slaying to leader-Commissars even as they tried to reason with this creature and bring it to the revolution. Force of rhetoric, whilst insufficient as yet, seemed to be gaining progress…

Also curious about Von Stahlist ideology were the Cold One Knights, especially their mounts, who crawled over to the Communications Commissariat’s flank to investigate further. Unfortunately, due to the lack of class consciousness so common in the Dark Elves, this did not last; their steeds were forced to attack by their remorseless riders. Close by, the elves continued to press on towards the Red lines.

Elvenist magical power, despite the might of the Red magic defences, managed to slay four longbowmen; but, due to the inspirational presence of Comrade von Stahl, they held out against their imperialist aggressors. The Red Cavalry were finished off by shooting, and the Enlightenment Brigade started to take casualties from elven crossbows.

In close combat, however, the Revolutionaries proved their worth and, despite the loss of a Communications Commissar to the cruel blades of the Cold One Knights (although their champion was dispatched in a challenge by the hoofs of Comrade Junior-Commissar D’Eria’s valiant steed), and of several of the PLC, they managed to put the dragon to flight by force of rhetoric and blades alike! This creature escaped beyond the grasp of the PLC, but they overran into the Cold Ones’ Front as the Communications Commissariat reformed to face them. The revolution was now truly in motion, cutting deep into the heart of the New-World reactionaries!

The Foreign Brigade, cheering loudly and brandishing images of Comrade von Stahl, saw this-and then the Executioners cresting the hill nearby. So as to defend flank of their mounted Comrades, Comrade Ironmawl ordered them to move up towards the Executioners. They did so, polearms ready. The Western archers turned around to face the centre, in case they could get some long shots with their bows: weapons hoped to be of great lethality against poorly equipped Dark Elf Warriors.

Magic saw Comrade Ozymandias greatly inspiring the PLC with a piece of oratory transmitted from the mouth of Von Stahl himself, turning them firmly into New Von Stahlist Man (Wystan’s Wildform.) Unfortunately, he got too carried away with the magic, entirely possible when one is transmitting the words of Comrade von Stahl-I mean only due to the enthusiasm he inspires in us all, which we can all misinterpret and overreact towards at times, and AAGH PLEASE DON’T HURT ME COMRADE-COMMISSAR!, and managed to miscast, wounding himself in the process. The trebuchet attempted to hit the Executioners, but the stone managed to misfire into the main cavalry combat, killing a Communications Commissar, a PLC man, and a Cold One Knight in a stunning display of revolutionary friendly fire.

In close combat, the Dark Elves were quite overcome by the Revolutionary onslaught; all were killed save the Sorceress, and she was overmastered and trampled to powder by the Communications Commissar, as he swept on towards the Dragon! The PLC also galloped forward, right next to a unit of elven archers…

Who turned and readied their bows, but not before groaning as the Executioners, doubtless due to their terror of the Revolutionaries, failed to charge the Foreign Brigade, just as the dragon failed to rally! The rest of the Elven infantry also advanced generally.

At this, the elves tried to cast magic at the revolutionaries. Von Stahl’s own unit was struck by an elven spell which attempted to agonise them-they remained in chaos as Comrade von Stahl attempted to restore order with his inspirational presence. (WS1) Shooting casualties continued to mount amongst the Enlightenment Brigade and some of the archers. The PLC, however, suffered relatively light casualties to the massed volleys of elven crossbows.

Once again, the Communications Commissar charged the dragon to force it back; he managed to drive this deluded flunky of imperialism off the board, into the awaiting nets of the Communications Commissarait, who took it away to one of their re-education camps. The rider escaped, and had the molten remains of his dragonspurs poured down his throat by his masters at Naggaroth. (My opponent’s idea.) The PLC turned, in readiness to assist their comrades among the Foreign Birgade in a daring counter attack, and contemptuous of the crossbow bolts ricocheting off their armour! Comrade Ozymandias ran over to join the Foreign Brigade, bolstering their ranks with his sword and revolutionary fervour. And the Enlightenment Brigade, numbers thinning but zeal unbowed, moved up right in front of the elven spearmen, so as to buy time for Comrade von Stahl to reorganise the Quenelles Brigade.

((As the elves were in a 10 wide horde formation, they were compressed against the watchtower; there was no way for them to get past the stubborn Enlighthenmet Brigade. I could only hope that it would be enough time for the deep column of the Quenelles Brigade to counter attack. I find reliquaes absolutely essential to my infantry, and can’t understand why people dislike them so much.))

The steel-hearted Foreign Brigade was inspired to ever-greater feats of heroism by Comrade Ozymandias’ summary execution of two wreckers with his sword. (He miscast Wildform again.) The Trachanka aimed a rocket at the Executioners-but misfired! As “bucket man” desperately tried to douse the blaze and four executioners were brought down in an arrow storm ((probably less, but over several turns)), the Trebuchet was aimed, and a mighty stone unleashed. Eleven spear elves were crushed under its might, a true and certain sign of the Revolution’s power!

And so, the elves charged what had been prepared for them. The Executioners hefted their great weapons, hissed maliciously and hurled themselves into the front of the Foreign Brigade, just as the Spear Elves (herded on by their sorceress, her fangs gleaming with the blood of slave-workers) charged into the Enlightenment Brigade! Magic and shooting, due to the paucity of targets for the elves, were ineffective.

Against the Executioners, Comrade Ironmawl was challenged to a duel by their champion, and was cut down. Comrade Ozymandias held a pair of them at bay with flashing steel, wit and revolutionary fervor. Seven sacrificed themselves heroically to hold the Executioners at bay-but hold they did. The Enlightenment Brigade too doggedly held the Spear Elves off, despite overwhelming superiority of numbers; only the pulpit and one man remained standing, but they fought on.

And the counter-attack of the Guards fell like a smith’s hammer. All along the line, Guardsmen and Commissars stood tall, took up arms, and struck at the elves with an undying fury. The Executioners suddenly became the recipients of a great execution struck at them by the Proletariat Leadership Committee and a unit of archers, striking at both flanks. Many of the Foreign Brigade fell, Comrade Grunwald was wounded and Comrade Ozymandias finally perished before his far more heavily armed opponents, but the Executioners were routed! The Spearmen, meanwhile, were hit by Glorious Comrade von Stahl himself, at the head of the Quenelles Brigade in a frontal assault (inspired by the magical oratory of Comrade DuBois) and another archer unit in the flank; this swept the elves aside in an overwhelming wave and overran them, with Comrade von Stahl striking down all before him with mighty blows of his hammer!

The Elven response after this was limited. Archers sniped at Red Guardsmen, before being charged and overwhelmed. Ultimately, they surrendered and fled, meaning a Red Guard VICTORY!


Afterthoughts: well, a high note on which to end before getting to the tournament. I’ll take the 50 man brigade of death, I think-but there was little that it achieved which couldn’t have been done by just 30 Guardsmen. Commissars were stretched somewhat thin, but it sufficed in the end.

Victory came about for several reasons. The first was my main ally, deployment. I managed to leave the main body of the elves almost entirely bereft of useful artillery support, and drew his dragon into a frontal assault against my most powerful units. This, despite a few tense moments with the Cold Ones, succeeded. If the Dragon had been let loose on the almost undefended West, with two bolt throwers providing support, things may have gone poorly. The second was some good rolls. The Executioners were kept off the Foreign Brigade until I had them where I wanted them: facing a massed, ranked unit with good leadership and magical augmentation. It was an error on my part not to have Ozy in there already, but it was fortunately forgiven. Similarly, the Dreadlord fleeing from combat was critical in the flank being torn open-but I had planned for this. It’s what Comrade Grunwald and co. do best. On the other hand, my missile weaponry was (apart from the last trebuchet against the spearmen) generally ineffective or even counterproductive with friendly fire raining on the PLC. Lore of Beasts was also critical in keeping the infantry going, despite a constant barrage of irresistible force miscasts.

So, good game to my opponent, who was courteous and far more knowledgeable than I. Glad to prove the various younglings wrong (by the end the Lizardman fan wanted both his armies to join the revolution. I considered it. Even their Dark Elf fan reluctantly conceded that the Dark Elves would have to briefly retreat.) Onward to the Student Nationals!

Awilla the Hun
11-04-2012, 21:27
The Dragon is Beset


The cavalry break through


Infantry combat


Awilla the Hun
16-04-2012, 16:32
The Red Orchestra: The Red Guards March to the 2012 Student Nationals

Comrades. It is time for a full scale redistribution of income. That is to say, incoming laurels of victory for the Red Guards, the great proletarian experiment led by our dear leader, Glorious Comrade Chairman Heinrich von Stahl!

Yes, Comrades. For you see, despite fighting a series of counter-revolutionaries to a standstill in previous engagements, and even routing a host of yapping flunkeys of Capitalist-Imperialism, these have still been denied to us by the arbiters of military skill and genius throughout the Old and New Worlds. They scorn our army, consisting of the workers and peasants of the world, as being weak and feeble, poor of training and cowardly of disposition!

This assessment is entirely emblematic of the ways in which the forces of the all Old-World Counter-Revolutionary Conspiracy seek to undermine and devalue the ways of the Revolution with its false consciousness! It is quite true that the Red Guardsmen, heroic defenders of the Proletariat of both the entire world and the People’s Democratic Republic of Mousillon, have received far more training in the ways of Von Stahlist Thought than such individualistic fripperies as halberd practice. However, this is entirely and self-evidently the correct way to wage war against capitalism: by using our own unique methods, rather than those of reactionaries, can we hope to triumph over those who have sought, for so long, to chain and repress the people. With collective strike action, we shall triumph over the imperialist pig-dogs!

Our armies are matchless in scale, as true mass movements, and steel-hearted of will to victory, bolstered at all times by the ever-vigilant and enlightened Commissars, the brainworkers of the revolution. Our weapons, forged of true proletarian iron, are of matchless striking power. The dialectic of history points to an assured and certain revolutionary victory. Be stern in your chastisement of counter-revolutionaries, both from without and within. Be true in the blows which we shall rain down upon the enemy. Trust in Glorious Comrade von Stahl. And it is the revolution which shall be triumphant over the parasitic and exploitative forces of Vampiric-Demonic-Capitalist-Magocrat-Consumerist-Militarist-Imperialis which have preyed on the labouring masses for too long

To the front! To the front! Only there can the forces of the Old World Reaction be dug, and the Red Flag raised in triumph over the graveyard of capitalism and the liberation of the people! URRAH!


The team University of Nottingham’s RPGSoc had assembled for this year’s Student Nationals was, supposedly, a more professional effort. Whereas last time had been a band of plucky amateurs gathering together at the last minute to take on the ironclad juggernauts of VAGUE and other such conglomerations of gaming imperialism, this time round was to be a well-oiled machine. Team T-Shirts were manufactured, banners raised, costume themes planned. I was even observed to be asking Warseer for advice on list building, an exercise as anti Von Stahlist as it was pragmatically militarist. This time, Nottingham would do it properly. Nothing would be left to chance. No one would drop out. There would be no tragic accidents involving figure cases, no one would get lost on Campus, and the President would never have any reason to get angry and threaten to “******* cut you”.

The wargaming section, of course, was eager to live up to these lofty promises. Our combined armies, amassed for the tournament, included:

• Glorious Comrade von Stahl’s Red Guards, more or less undefeated in the society itself.
• The “South German” Wargames Rep’s Wood Elves, which she had spent a year of practicing with (and winning against) last year’s Oxford Man with the Greenskins.
• A Space Wolf army, led by a Space Wolf in person. The sort who would start up WAAAGH!ing matches with Ork players, win, and carry it on outside. His vocabulary consisted of roughly 75% internet memes. I ended up as his roommate at our Cardiff hotel so as no one else had to.
• A Grey Knight army of roughly 20 men involving Kal Draigo, three dreadnoughts and enough cheese to rouse the Space Wolf to apoplexy.
• A Space Marine player, possibly the only sane man.

But, perhaps just as prominent, was who wasn’t there. Last year, our society’s LARP DM won the much vaunted “Geek of Steel” prize due to his own gaming excellence, catapulting him to becoming Britain’s geekiest man. He promptly showed his loyalty and gaming excellence by moving to Scotland to shoot things with lasers. When news started to filter down that he had it in mind to bring his Chaos Warriors to the Nationals, the howling for blood began. Under strict instructions to “crush the traitor” (and perhaps the only one to take them seriously), the Red Guards were prepared for their greatest crusade yet.

Polearms had been sharpened, tape measures tested, and dice loaded. (I joke, of course.) It was time for the Nationals.

((Naturally, all mistakes made in army list building, recollection etc were mine alone. If my opponents could contribute, please do so.))


Comrade von Stahl’s Red Guards: A 2000 Point Bretonnian Army

Comrade Chairman Heinrich Von Stahl, the Comrade General (Bretonnian Lord with Virtue of Empathy, Enchanted Shield, The Ruby Goblet, Crown of Command, Tormentor Sword)

Comrade Commissar for Magical Affairs DuBois (Level 1 Damsel with dispel scroll, Lore of Beasts)

Comrade Junior Commissar for Magical Affairs Ozymandias. (Level 1 Damsel with Silver Mirror, Lore of Beasts)

Comrade Commissar for War Stephan Grunwald (Paladin Battle Standard Bearer with Barded Warhorse, War Banner, Virtue of Duty, Shield, Grail Vow. Rides with the Proletariat Leadership Commmittee)

Proletariat Leadership Committee and Advisers (8 Knights of the Realm with Full Command)

Quenelles Red Guard Brigade (40 Men at Arms with Full Command)

Quenelles Red Guard Commissariat (10 archers with braziers)

Enlightenment Brigade (Grail Reliquae with 13 Pilgrims)

Foreign Brigade (30 Men at Arms with Full Command, including a certain Comrade Heavyfoot)

Gisoreaux Red Guard Commissariat (10 archers with braziers)

The Foreign Brigade's Own Commissariat (10 archers with braziers)

Communications Commissariat (3 Pegasus Knights with Musician and Gallant)

Red Cavalry (5 mounted yeomen with musician, shields)

Trachanka (Trebuchet)

Trebuchet (‘No wall can withstand Revolutionary Thought or Trebuchets!’)


Game 1: Honour in the name of Capitalism is no Virtue! Dishonour in the name of the Revolution is no Vice!

Comrades! It was only natural that the first opponent to be faced by our heroic Revolutionary Soldiers, defenders of the Proletiarat from all threats and foes in all forms, was an army of that race of arch-capitalists and parasites, the Dwarves! These servants of industrial and finance capital, who hide behind hypocrisies of honour and duty (unlike their more blatant and honest kin, the Chaos Dwarves, who see no need for the façade and need no class consciousness to despise) dared to stand against us in the desolate wastelands of the lands referred to as “Cardiff”. It is quite clear, Comrades, that this area was of no value to any rational mind; this demonstrates quite clearly and self-evidently the unity of Counter-Revolutionary forces set against us, as they fight for what they do not value! Fortunately, our leader, Glorious Comrade von Stahl, was entirely ready for these flunkeys of capitalism, and had planned most thoroughly to chastise them…


The Dwarven Throng

Runelord with Anvil of Doom

Thane with Rune of Brotherhood, ASF Great Axe (with the Rangers)

Runesmith with Master Rune of the Challenge, Rune of Slowness (with the Thunderers)

Thane with Battle Standard (with the Thunderers)

20 Thunderers with Full Command

29 Rangers with Great Weapons, Throwing Axes, Full Command

Cannon I (Rune of Immolation)

Cannon II (Rune of Reloading, Rune of Burning)

Bolt Thrower



Scenario, Battlefield and Deployment

The scenario itself was a night attack, with major disadvantages to shooting in the first two turns, as well as the Dawn Attack deployment. Bonus points were given for killing the enemy general, taking their battle standard and standards, and having units in their deployment zone.

The battlefield itself ((I am South, with the Red Guards starting from the South)) was a lifeless desert entirely typical of Cardiff, covered with little rock formations (difficult terrain) and strange holes in the ground which puffed smoke and sulphur (light cover.) To the West were a pair of small oases, the only signs of life outside of the two armies-save for a strange, ruined temple in the North (light cover, difficult terrain), a sure sign of the desperation and decline of the opiate of the people in these revolutionary times.

The Red Guards deployed first, eager to get to grips with the capitalists. The mighty artillery of the Trebuchet and Trachanka deployed in the West and East respectively. The Eastern flank was relatively empty, as befitted a rightist position, with only an archer unit and Comrade Dubois present to defend the Trachanka, and the Red Cavalry riding as far ahead as they could with their Vanguard move, picking their way between the rocks. The Centre was the focus of the main infantry attack, with Comrade von Stahl’s own Quenelles Brigade and the Foreign Brigade (joined by Comrade Ozymandias) forming the main fist of it, flanked on either side by archer units. These, it was hoped, would be able to weather the storm of dwarven fire (lessened by the darkness) and carry their polearms into the enemy’s soft, capitalist flesh. The West had the Trebuchet set up behind some rocks adjacent to the Proletariat Leadership Committee and Enlightenment Brigade, with the Communications Commissariat out in front of them.

The Dwarves, obviously afraid of the massed revolutionary forces, deployed second. Their strange and unreliable creation, the Gyrocopter, deployed alone in the North East. The ruined temple was occupied by their Thunderers, forming a centre of sorts to a line that was dominated by artillery to its West (East to West: Bolt Thrower, Cannon II, Cannon I.) Behind their line was the Anvil of Doom, a contraption used by capitalists to doom workers by exploiting their labour until they perish. Finally, the Rangers, the “scouts” of the Dwarves, stumbled forward down the Western flank, just over 12 inches from the Communications Commissariat.

The Dwarves went first, as the Red Guards received guidance from Comrade von Stahl on the necessity of withstanding cannon balls to prove one’s loyalty.



With a rattling of strange inventions, the Dwarves made ready for war. Their gyrocopter roared towards the trebuchet, and the Rangers advanced slowly, obviously fearing the might of the Revolution against their investments.

Shooting saw the Anvil of Doom being beaten into life to the sounds of screaming workers. The PLC were too awed of Comrade von Stahl’s rhetoric to move rapidly, an unintended consequence of our dear leaders’ words chastising the dwarves for their anti-Proletarian actions ((they were slowed by the Rune of Wrath and Ruin.)) A volley of throwing axes was cast at the Communications Commissariat by the Rangers, but bounced off their armour. The Trebuchet was destroyed by a cannon shot, doubtless due to the inadequacies of their craftsmen. And a Red Cavalryman was shot down by the Gyrocopter’s Steam Cannon.

In response to these peckings, the Reds began to advance. The Red Cavalry spurred around the East, ready to charge the flank of the Thunderers. To the West, the Communications Commissariat flew straight into the centre of the Dwarven firing line, ready to liberate Cannon II from its capitalist masters in the name of the Revolution. Behind them, cheering their advance, the Enlightenment Brigade advanced valiantly towards the Rangers, preparing for a frontal attack, with Comrade Grunwald’s PLC, still inspired by Comrade von Stahl, moving up on their Left flank. In the centre, Glorious Comrade von Stahl himself led the infantry forwards, with the Quenelles Brigade advancing in column towards the ruins, and the Foreign Brigade (under the redoubtable Comrades Heavyfoot and Ozymandias) moving up in a leftwards direction. Against the rapacious Gyrocopter, the archers near the Trachanka formed a line to protect it, with other archers moving around to try and bring the steel beast down and end the capitalist exploitation of its engine.

All attempts at magic were ineffective due to the awe our Commissars for Magical Affairs were in of Comrade von Stahl’s rhetoric. So, too, was shooting, due to the blackness of the night; this was all part of Comrade von Stahl’s inspired plan to catch the dwarves unawares.

The Dwarves reacted slowly to the advance of the proletariat, as befits their capital-focussed kind. The Rangers continued to slowly advance towards the Enlightenment Brigade, apparently blind to the presence of the PLC close by. The Gyrocopter zoomed close to the archers protecting the Trebuchet, steam cannon at the ready.

The Anvil of Doom promptly demonstrated the fallacy of capitalism by, after slaying two of the Red Cavalry, failing to function again; clearly, the workers it was trying to exploit were no longer obeying their masters! The Thunderers loaded up and commenced volley fire by ranks, cutting down a number of the Quenelles Brigade; but these loyal Von Stahlists, protected by the RED shield of the Ruby Goblet and with Von Stahl and the Red Flag in the front rank, continued to march on. Losses were inflicted on the shield wall of the Enlightenment Brigade by throwing axes. A volley of grapeshot wounded one of the Communications Commissars. And the Gyrocopter killed four longbowmen with its steam cannon, routing these so-called Von Stahlists, along with Comrade Dubois in a humiliating retreat of the Revolution.

But it did not last long, due to the inspiring presence of Comrade von Stahl. The surviving two of the Red Cavalry charged headlong into the flank of the Thunderers, with the Enlightenment Brigade charging the Rangers’ front and PLC their left- a true sign of the assault on rightists across the Old World! Cheering them on, Comrade von Stahl’s infantry, and the Foreign Brigade, continued to march forward. And the Communications Commissariat began the elimination of the dwarven artillery by charging a bolt thrower.

Magic was once again ineffective, as was shooting. In close combat, however, despite the loss of the PLC’s Junior Commissar, one Leader Commissar and five of the Enlightenment Brigade (both throwing axes and great weapons), the Rangers were put to flight and annihilated by the strength of the Revolution,with the Enlightement Brigade following the red flag onwards towards Cannon I, and the PLC reforming to face the main dwarven lines. The Red Cavalry cut down two gunners, and held the Thunderers at bay. The Communications Commissariat tore through the Bolt Thrower, but failed to overrun into the nearby cannon…

The Dwarven Gyrocopter, its pilot cackling evilly and playing a strange, thunderous classical music from his steed, charged into the Trebuchet.

The Anvil once again proved ineffective, as did shooting (despite the red sun starting to rise), apart from a volley of grapeshot which, due to a brigade of wreckers appearing amongst our ironworks, annihilated the Communications Commissariat. The Trebuchet crew were routed from the battlefield, and the Red Cavalry cut down to the last man in the name of the Revolution! The Thunderers grimly started to reload, terrified at the hordes of revolutionaries pouring towards them.

138225 138226

The infantry pressed forward. Archers turned to face where the Gyrocopter had left the battlefield. The PLC, “We are the Red Cavalry” being hummed merrily in the background, thundered towards the Dwarven lines, charging and destroying Cannon II, before reforming and preparing to flank the temple.

Dwarven guns were made ready to fire, once again. The Thunderers retreated before the advancing Quenelles Brigade, leaving them with the temple to cross, and turned to face both PLC and infantry, forming into ranks for close combat. The Anvil started to be struck again, making Comrade von Stahl orate and ever more strongly to counter it ((the movement of the Quenelles Brigade was slowed.)) And the Gyrocopter returned to kill more archers.

The Quenelles Brigade doggedly marched into the temple, as did the Foreign Brigade. The PLC, however, charged straight into the Thunderers. Arrows rained down upon the Gyrocopter, but missed it. In close combat, many Thunderers (and one of the PLC, heroically sacrificing himself against the capitalists) were slain, but they held out.

The Gyrocopter continued to rampage through the Red rear areas, steam cannon glowing hot, and wounded Comrade du Bois. In close combat, the Thunderers were finally routed, with the PLC overrunning into the Anvil of Doom. Now was the time to truly rout the capitalists!

The Enlightenment Brigade were now extremely close to Cannon I, readying for a last charge. The infantry, now satisfied that the threat to the revolution would be dealt with, stopped advancing and let out a great URRAH!

The Anvil of Doom, however, was soon overcome by the pleas of Comrade Grunwald; its defenders stopped fighting and promptly joined us, but had to pretend to fight so as to avoid the artillery fire of Cannon I! This is the only possible politically correct explanation for why both sides failed to wound each other throughout the combat.

These fears soon proved groundless as the Enlightenment Brigade carried the red flag into Cannon I, killing its crew-but the weapon was rigged to explode (how carelessly these capitalists treat their equipment!), killing many of the Enlightenment Brigade.

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Result: Massacre victory to the Red Guards!


After game thoughts: a glorious victory for the revolution over capitalism. It was, frankly, a tough battle for the dwarves to win. Both our armies had major shooting elements. These were severely weakened by the night fighting rules. The Red Guards, however, had enough points left over for infantry, cavalry and pegasi. The Dwarves, apart from their rangers, relied almost exclusively on firepower. In addition, the Red Guards, despite their movement being hindered by the terrain more or less everywhere, are good against gunlines: massed infantry to soak casualties, flyers, lethal cavalry charges, and enough firepower to at least weaken the firing line. The result was an understandable massacre, and well done to my opponent for fighting on and being pleasant in a very difficult situation. The new elements of my army-having two damsels in 2000 points-underperformed badly (going against dwarves does that), and I missed Comrade Bampton anchoring my trebuchet. Still, it was a good opening, but I couldn’t help but think that things would start to get worse…

Awilla the Hun
16-04-2012, 16:33
Game 2: The Skaven Blight

So, we broke for lunch, and encountered a number of wonderful players and armies. Kroot mercenaries, Chaos with rocket launchers, the winter “Pumpkin Head” forest spirits, a beautifully historical Empire army. It seemed that I wasn’t just the only communist army, but the only Bretonnian army (an odd thought.) But I didn’t notice, until setting up, the return of an old opponent. Last year I had taken on and defeated-quite soundly, it must be said-an Empire gunline. Its player returned with a host of Skaven, which were apparently his normal army. These featured quite highly on the list of armies I feared (armies with too many monsters being a second, and Chaos-due to aggression and utter invulnerability in close combat backed with heavy magic-being a third.) Skaven are a proper horde army, with appropriate equipment and rules for the job. The Red Guards were cavalry fanatics playing at hordes. Still, boosted with overconfidence from my victory, I got deploying and the Red Guards mustered to once again bear the Red Flag through Cardiff. A war of the titans (in terms of model size, we probably had two of the biggest armies present) was about to commence.

It seems, Comrades, that an inexplicable disease from below had annihilated its Proletariat. It was time to get to the bottom of this. Fortunately, among the ranks of the Foreign Brigade was a Skaven volunteer, a veteran of the Skabbicus revolt, who knew well the ways of its former masters, and told us of their depravities. It was time to annihilate these yapping flunkies in entirety, once and for all! No more shall they keep the international Proletariat chained underground in darkness, for they shall feel-and learn to fear-the light of the Revolution


The Skaven Horde

Warlord with warplock weapon, enchanted shield, talisman of preservation, rat ogre (leads the Rat Ogres.)

Rat Ogres (5 Rat Ogres, 2 Pack Masters.)

Plague Priest with Pestilient Breath on a Plague Furnace (leads the Plague Monks.)

Plague Monks (30 with Fulll Command, bearing the Storm Banner.)

Clanrats (50 Clanrats with full command, ratling gun.)

Stormvermin (20 Stormvermin with Full Command)

8 Plague Censor Bearers

3 Jezzails


Warp Lightning Cannon

Plague Catapault


Scenario, Battlefield and Deployment

The Scenario was a Meeting Engagement for our Generals/their units killing each other in combat (NOT running down), and killing the enemy’s core, special and rare choices.

The battlefield (I am, as usual, South) was the outskirts of a snowy village (the weather in the Cardiff region is very strange) where the Skaven had been traced to. There were numerous small rock formations around the board, with a couple of old houses in the North West and East, two small lakes near the centre of the board, hills in the South and North West, and a poisonous forest in the South East.

The first thing to say about deployment is that, with both of our horde armies and the diagonal zone, it took so long that we only got half a game off. The Skaven deployed first, and went first.

None of the rats were left in reserve. Their South West had the Doomwheel rumbling alone. The North Western hill was emplaced with artillery (Jezzails and their Plague Catapault.) Their North East was held by the Stormvermin and Warp Lightning Cannon, apparently in a laughable attempt to get off enfilading shots. Their centre (between the two houses) was filled with troops ready to attack in two waves. The first was their so called “shock troops”: the Rat Ogres to the South West, and the Plague Censor Bearers to the North East. Behind these came the mass of their second wave: the Clanrats and ratling gun behind the rat ogres, and the Plague Monks behind the Censor Bearers.

The Red Guards had the Enlightenment Brigade in reserve, ready to march into battle against the Doomwheel. The Red Cavalry and Communications Commissariat filled with South West, ready to dispatch the Skaven artillery to the North West ((both used their Vanguard moves to get past the Doomwheel and push North)), with the PLC close behind. The archers, who would be most likely useless due to the Storm Banner, deployed two units to the North East to shield our flank, and one to the South West. Comrade von Stahl formed his own Brigade into a line in the centre , with the Foreign Brigade to the North West, so as to hold out against the enemy. Behind the line were both the Trebuchets.

The Skaven, due to lectures from Von Stahl, went first.



The sky immediately darkened as the Storm Banner took place, a sign of the depravities these rat-men employ to exploit the better, pure land above them. Their forces immediately began a general advance, with the Plague Censors heading for the archers in front of the Foreign Brigade, and the Rat Ogres towards Comrade von Stahl’s unit; an action which can only demonstrate the willingness of the enslaved beasts to defect. The Doomwheel lumbered straight forwards, with few apparent targets.

Skaven shooting (for magic was ineffective) saw half of the PLC choking to death due to the plagues of the Skaven Catapault; a clear sign that their blight must be purged from the land of Cardiff! The Doomwheel also blasted a Communications Commissar with lightning.

The Red response, although hindered by the storm grounding the Communications Commissariat and hindering our missile troops, swung into action. The Quenelles Brigade reformed slightly to face down the Rat Ogres. The Red Cavalry and Communications Commissariat (for Pegasi are swift indeed at chasing down Counter-Revolutionaries even on the ground, Comrades) galloped towards the hill, with the PLC following. And the Enlightenment Brigade, clashing sword on shield and singing hymns to Comrade von Stahl, marched from reserve towards the Doomwheel; this was a cunning attempt, as well as genuine devotion, to lure it against them!

The Quenelles Brigade were inspired to ever greater feats of heroism by Comrade Dubois’ magic. This did not extend to our missile troops, due to the Skaven-summoned cloudburst drenching bowstrings and gunpowder; but not, of course, the indomitable spirit of Revolution!


The Rat Ogres, pleaing for their release, ran to Comrade von Stahl for salvation-but the Warlord among them maintained discipline with a cruel whip and yellow fangs, turning their flee to a charge. The Clanrats and their gun, seeing the mass of cavalry, turned to face them, abandoning their advance. And the Censor Bearers, the Plague Monks slowly following, charged the archers in front of the Foreign Brigade.

Skaven firepower was of limited effectiveness, and magic was out of range. A handful of the Foreign Brigade were killed by the Warp Lightning Cannon. In Close combat, the supremacy of Revolutionary arms clearly asserted itself. The Archers were cut down by the Censor Bearers, a sort of Skaven Enlightenment Brigade, but not before inflicting losses on their attackers-and, better yet, luring them into the front of the Foreign Brigade. Better still, the Rat Ogres, despite killing ten Red Guardsmen, were liberated from their Warlord. Three were saved ((killed)), and the rest fled in retreat, Warlord leading the way and outdistancing Comrade von Stahl; it is quite clear, Comrades, that Skaven are only effective at running away, like our former Knightly masters! The Doomwheel was damaged by the Enlightenment Brigade, who gladly threw themselves into its engine to clog it up with their own bodies in the name of the Revolution; but it foolishly held out.

The Communications Commissariat galloped right into the Plague Catapult, with the Red Cavalry supporting their flank. Seeing the situation in the centre, the PLC turned to face it. And Comrade von Stahl charged the Rat Ogres again, panicking their Warlord ever further.

Magic was ineffective, as was shooting due to their banner.

In close combat, the Communications Commissariat effortlessly brushed aside the Plague Catapault and overran into the vile Jezzails. The Foreign Brigade, despite suffering some losses from the Plague Censors, fell upon them and struck down many of these vile creatures, getting ready in the next round to exterminate this blight of skaven from skavenblight.

The Skaven response was to charge the Stormvermin into a unit of archers (conveniently far removed from the main combat) and bring the Plague Monks around to face the mighty Quenelles Brigade, including Glorious Comrade von Stahl! The Clanrats also tried to charge the Red Cavalry, but they retreated, outdistancing easily these lumbering Skaven! The Warlord continued to panic and flee.

The Ratling gun shot down three of the Red Cavalry, and one of the PLC was killed by the Warp Lightning Cannon.

The archers facing the Stormvermin were ultimately overwhelmed by these so called Skaven “elites”-elite only in sheer numbers, Comrades! This was proved when they overran into the poison forest and started to become ill from their experience. Two Jezzails were killed by the Communications Commissariat, but the survivor outdistanced them. And the blight from Skavenblight was finally stamped out by the Foreign Brigade, who overran towards the rear of the Plague Monks!

The PLC rode forth to support a grand Von Stahlist offensive that was being prepared against the Plague Monks. The Quenelles Brigade turned to face them, Comrade von Stahl at their head. To their rear, the Foreign Brigade also turned. A trap was being prepared, and was aided by the Trebuchet crushing eight of these vile fanatics of a false opiate, despite the storm that whipped around them! The Red Cavalry rallied. And the Communications Commissariat charged the Jezzail, forcing it to flee again.

The grand, decisive battle was prepared, blades were sharpened, ranks formed, jaws clenched, disease pots opened… but the game ended due to time constraitns. With a crack, the Warp Lightning Cannon killed the Skabbican veteran, and the Skaven withdrew mysteriously.


Result: DRAW


After Game Thoughts: The first, most obvious one, is: what would have happened in the grand confrontation? (The Stormvermin, as they would probably have charged my Trebuchet, and my opponent told me he planned to throw his massive clanrat unit at… the Red Cavalry, would probably have been out of the picture.) As far as I can tell, the Plague Monks would probably have charged Comrade von Stahl’s Brigade. They would have inflicted heavy losses on it, but lost quite a few themselves, and Comrade von Stahl would have held out due to Stubborn. The PLC would then have counterattacked with the Foreign Brigade offering a rear charge, and the two sides would have more or less wiped each other out. What happens after that depends heavily on whether the Rat Ogres rallied or not. If they did so, then I would have lost the game quite badly. If not, I could probably have either destroyed or held off the Stormvermin, held the Doomwheel more or less in check, and ignored the clanrats until I got a decentish sort of draw.

The second is that my new toys started to work. The Wyssan’s Wildform augmented Quenelles Brigade, backed by the Ruby Goblet, tore the Rat Ogres to pieces. Definitely worth continuing with Lore of Beasts.

The third is, obviously, great rematch for my opponent, and far closer than the Empire battle last year. May we fight again…

Awilla the Hun
16-04-2012, 16:34
Game 3: The Consumerists’ March

As with last year, there were some armies I felt, dimly, that I was destined to face. So it was with my next opponent who, when asked about the term “power gaming”, cheerfully admitted that he was pulling out the stops for the Nationals. Despite this, he played like a consummate gentleman throughout.

The Red Guards, after seeing off the Skaven blight, were understandably estatic when news came that they would further serve the cause of the Proletariat in this benightened wasteland. This came in the sound of breaking timber. The village of the Skaven, it turned out, had been larger than expected; large enough to conceal a massive horde of Ogres and their vile, decadent Mournfang beasts. The arrival of so many Consumerists in one place was truly intriguing; certainly, the Communications Commissariat and Red Cavalry cannot have failed in their scouting duties. So, with joy in their hearts, the Revolutionaries marched to war once again…


The Consumerist Tide

Slaughtermaster (level 3) with two dispel scrolls (?) and various magic items (waddled with the Ironguts)

Battle Standard Bearer (waddled with the Ironguts)

14 Ironguts with Full Command

Mournfangs I (4 Mournfang Cavalry with Dragonhide Banner)

Mournfangs II (2 Mournfang Cavalry)

Mournfangs III (2 Mournfang Cavalry)

Ironblaster I

Ironblaster II

10 Gnoblars

Sabretusk I

Sabretusk II

Sabretusk III

((I don’t give much in game detail in these tournament batreps in terms of other peoples’ armies, but this will be an exception. His army was well put together. One of the Yellowshirts in the organising team thought little of it-more optimisation was required with magic items or something-but he was in a decided minority among those present. It had enough chaff to deploy as flexibly as the Red Guards, some hefty firepower-attached to chariots-in its Ironblasters, and many units of heavy hitters, all capable of shattering a man at arms unit without heavy support being committed. The Ironguts also looked, whilst not peasant proof, more or less invulnerable without overwhelming force being applied.))

Scenario, Battlefield and Deployment

The scenario was a take and hold scenario of a central objective (holding it provided bonus tournament points), with each side choosing a unit as Vanguard. I chose my Enlightenment Brigade, he chose Mournfang Cavalry I.

The battlefield was, once again, covered with small rock formations, houses to the North West, South West, South-Centre and North East, a few forests (not least the jungle bases of the Ogres-they were jungle themed) and a ruined temple in the South East. The central objective was a rock formation, with clear ground-and an objective marker in the form of “When the one with the polearm gets killed…”

The Red Guards deployed first. The Western flank was left relatively open, with the Communications Commissariat vanguarding as far forward as possible whilst trying to keep out of charge distance of the Mournfang Cavalry. A unit of archers and the Trachanka were also positioned in the South West to cover and weaken the centre. The PLC were committed close by, ready to charge up the left, with the Enlightenment Brigade also rushing forward in a burst of revolutionary enthusiasm to as close to the objective as possible. The centre had Comrade von Stahl’s Quenelles Brigade behind the central house as a central reserve, along with an archer unit preparing rush into it. The East had the Foreign Brigade formed in column occupying the main open ground, with the Red Cavalry to its right and archers occupying the ruined temple. Behind them was the Trebuchet.

The Ogres deployed second. Their Ironblasters deployed in the NW and NE corners, as did Sabretusks. Mournfang I Vanguarded down the Eastern flank, desperate to practice consumerism on the revolutionaries present. The hapless, supressed, class unconscious gnoblars hid behind a house, as did another Sabretusk. Mournfangs II and III prepared to charge either side of the NW house down the Western flank. And the Ironguts, perhaps inevitably, formed up in the centre of the board.



The Ogres immediately began their clumsy advance. Mournfangs II and III started to charge down the Western flank as rapidly as they could, daring to face down the might of Comrade Grunwald, the PLC and the Enlightenment Brigade. The Ironguts also moved straight forward, as did Mournfangs I, eager to grind the bones of revolutionaries to make their bread. And the Sabretusk lizards started to move down the flanks.

Magic saw the Slaughtermaster severely wounded by the Silver Mirror redistributing magical income, and Mournfangs I being strengthened greatly by its power. The Ironblasters opened fire-but the NW Ironblaster I’s cannon was blown to fragments by revolutionary agents positioned amongst the Gnoblars. Ironblaster II succeeded in overshooting in its eagerness to consume more gunpowder.

The Red Cavalry responded to this by realigning to try and redirect the Mournfang Cavalry away from the infantry once they charged. The Quenelles Brigade formed into ranks and moved up to support the Foreign Brigade. The central archers moved into the South- Central House, bows drawn and ready. The Communications Commissariat began their flank attack, hurtling over to the NW House and turning to face South, the rear of the Mournfang Cavalry charge down the West. The PLC and Enlightenment Brigade also advanced, more slowly and in a sort of line together.

Magic was ineffective. Shooting, however, saw one of Mournfang Cavalry II being killed by fire-arrows and the Trachanka.

The Ogre turn began, as expected, with a massed Mournfang Cavalry charge. Mournfang I crashed into the Red Cavalry, who held stalwartly before them, certain that they would serve Comrade von Stahl well. Mournfangs II and III both foolishly charged the PLC, overconfident of their success against the “thinlings”: small in stature, but great in revolutionary will! The NW Ironblaster, however, charged the now exposed rear of the Communications Commissariat. The Ironguts, meanwhile, continued their advance, apparently ignoring the central objective. And the Sabretusks continued to gambol along down the flanks.


Magic was of little effectiveness. The Ogres Ironblaster managed to hit the Trebuchet, but did not damage this fine piece of revolutionary technology significantly.

In close combat, the Communications Commissariat conducted a tactical retreat towards the centre of the board, but not without suffering the loss of one of their Comrades, who sacrificed himelf to slow the Ironblaster down. The Red Cavalry fought to the last man in about three seconds, in doing so driving Mournfangs I off the board edge. A heroic sacrifice, Comrades! And the PLC, despite being beset by three Mournfangs and losing two Commissars, forced all of them to panic and flee before their might, even striking one down with their blades! They pursued-but were outdistanced by one unit.

The PLC charged the Mournfangs again, forcing them to flee further before their might, and also panicking the Ironblaster in the process! The Communications Commissariat rallied and turned towards the centre. The Enlightenment Brigade turned and started to march around the central house, slowly but surely closing with the Ironguts. The Eastern infantry, under the guidance of Comrade von Stahl, prepared to receive the onslaught of the Ironguts. And both units of archers moved, preparing to block the advance of the Sabretusks.

Magic was not utilised. Shooting saw the destruction of the second Ironblaster to the Trebuchet, and the Trachanka inflicting some casualties on the Ironguts.

Both Ogre Sabretusks charged the archers blocking them. Mournfangs II, as well as the other Ironblaster, fled off the battlefield, clearing the left flank quite firmly of the capitalist taint! The central sabretusk and gnoblars also began to move out towards the objective. And Mournfangs I lumbered back onto the battlefield. It would take time to reform, a typical bourgeoisie solution, and face the infantry.

Ogre Magic saw regeneration being cast upon the Ironguts, the dispel attempt failing. Shooting was non existent.

In combat, the Western Sabretusk was cut down by the archers. The Eastern one, however, ploughed through its opponents and overran into the Trebuchet.

With a great “URRAH!”, Comrade von Stahl launched the grand counter attack of the Guards. The Quenelles and Foreign Brigades both crashed into the front of the Ironguts, with the Enlightenment Brigade and Communications Commissariat moving closer to offer their support as soon as possible. The PLC tore towards the central objective-but, inexplicably, did not face against any enemy in particular.

Magic saw Comrade DuBois inspiring the Quenelles Brigade to fight against the Consumerists with ever greater aggression, and even Comrade Ozymandias achieved the same with the Foreign Brigade (although only Comrade Heavyfoot and one of the second rank was able to reach.)

The Trachanka managed to burn one of Mournfangs I with the revolution’s red fire, brinigng their numbers down to just 3.

In close combat, many of the Quenelles Brigade fell, and the Ogres themselves suffered the death of only one of their number due to their despicable trollguts spell. Nevertheless, the Revolutionary tide pressed ahead, the red shield of the Ruby Goblet protecting them from harm! The Trebuchet crew were also eaten by the sabretusk.

Mournfangs I turned to face the press that surged in onto the Ironguts, but did nothing. They could not charge… yet.

In combat, Comrade von Stahl himself was wounded by an Ogre, but without the foul and unfair Trollguts spell, their own casualties were mounting from the righteous fury of the Proletariat directed against them. (“ARTEFACT SHATTER!” was heard repeatedly from the Foreign Brigade.)

With an even greater URRAH, the Enlightenment Brigade and Communications Commissariat both charged into the flank and rear of the Ironguts! The PLC moved into the centre, finally occupying it-but not assisting in the counter charge, or even deigning to face it.

The remains of the Quenelles Brigade were once more inspired to fight Counter-Revolutionaries by Comrade Dubois. The Gnoblars and Sabretusk capering on the objective were both shot away by a storm of arrows and, when that failed, the Trachanka.

The red tide poured against the bloated, grotesque capitalists, and it slew where it lapped. The Enlightement Brigade literally ran out of enemies to kill (whether it got a free reform or not to face the remains of the ogres or not was not discussed.) The Pegasi bit and kicked, the Commissars lanced in, and Comrade von Stahl himself led the infantry into their final great effort. Out of the old unit, only five Ogres still stood by the end of the round. Glorious revolutionary victory was at hand!


Then the opponent smiled slightly, informed me that the BSB made them stubborn, and passed his ld test.

The Mournfangs, due to an inexplicable failure of intelligence which is quite improbable when using Gnoblars as one’s source of information, charged the flank of the Foreign Brigade, and started to kill its way through. Comrade von Stahl himself was injured severely, and his brigade bore his body away. The Foreign Brigade, despite everything, held out; the Communications Commissariat lacked their courage, it seems, and withdrew.


Despite the deteriorating situation, the Enlightenment Brigade charged the Ironguts again in the rear, and the Communications Commissariat were made to rally by Comrade Grunwald’s pistol as the PLC turned to face the Ogres.

In combat, the Foreign Brigade were finally forced to retreat. They remained on the field, but did not rally again. The Ironguts turned to face the Enlightenment Brigade, and Mournfangs I the Communications Commissariat, who they charged. The PLC counter attacked, and the combats raged on until the battle ended as a…

Minor Defeat


After Game Thoughts

I would like to think that only suffering a “minor defeat” was a sign that I had played the Red Guards well. Certainly, my plan (clear out his left flank, then move against his centre, and aagh so many Ironguts) went pretty well. It was just the little details, such as his Ogres being stubborn, which upset it. There were two obvious points that I could have obviously improved. The first was to turn the Foreign Brigade around, keep them out of the main Ogre combat (the amount of damage they did was marginal, if it ever existed) and prepare to hold up the Mournfangs. The second was to turn the PLC around the moment they got to the centre and immediately prepare a charge towards the main combat. This could have at least marginally resolved the situation, and would have done much to face the Mournfangs even if the Ironguts had been destroyed. If I could have dispelled Trollguts (I can’t remember whether it was dispellable or not), the first round of combat would also have been that bit more destructive.

On the other hand, as my opponent pointed out, the game ended on turn 5. (Trust me, it did.The exact order of every single event’s getting a bit confusing, so my chronology may or may not say there were more, but there weren’t.) Another turn would have seen the Enlightenment Brigade destroyed, and I’m not altogether certain how long the PLC could have kept those Mournfangs back. Unlike the common image of the powergamer, I can’t stress this enough: he played like a gentleman, with a very thorough knowledge of the rules. He went on to, pretty deservedly (and despite the presence of last year’s winner, now using Tomb Kings), win the tournament.

Awilla the Hun
16-04-2012, 16:34
Game 4: The Backward Step

Foreign Brigade Encampment. Yes, regular readers, this means incomprehensible LARP references. My sincere apologies.

“Zog dis guyz, I wantz fightin! And WINNIN’!” Comrade Heavyfoot dropped her shield in frustration and started looking for an axe.

“Don’t we all?” Kazmarov muttered to himself, considering the poor Win/Loss ratio’s deleterious effect on the UoN’s score. Well, no one had ever said it was easy using a comedy army.

“Oi meanz it!”

“I don’t doubt it,” a sardonic voice said. Comrade Ozymandias, the unit’s resident mage, stepped into the early morning light and twirled his black cloak mysteriously.

“Oi meanz, dere’s dese Grey Knight players wiv dese Draigo Wing lists dat make dat Space Wolf pissed, and dey’s winnin’.” Comrade Heavyfoot turned on Kazmarov. “Yer. You said dis Red Guards fingy was tuff!”

“Did I?” Kazmarov looked for his sword. “Oh. I said conditions would be, ah, pretty sticky, and, ah…” he trailed off.

“Still,” said Ozymandias brightly, “the next one won’t be too bad.”

“And WOTZ HE DOIN’ ERE?” Rai raised her axe and started walking very quickly towards him. “WHY’Z DAT NECROMANCER-“

“Because the LARP fluff and my army modelling didn’t keep up,” Kazmarov sighed. “Which is why I can’t fling the pair of you apart.”

“And we aren’t high powered NPCs who could solo everything,” Ozy snapped. He stepped smartly backward. “And why I don’t have a spear.”

“No, that’s because mages only get hand weapons. Anyway, ah… so, Ozy who’re fighting next?”

“Oh, nothing really. Just the world.” Ozy turned and started running from the angry Orc in hot pursuit.

“This is no time for melodrama or grimdarkness, what next? Wood Elves? Chaos?”

“No.” Ozy turned, stuck his foot out, and tripped the Orc. “The world. The DM.”

“But…” Kazmarov froze. “You mean he’s back?”

Ozymandias nodded. “’fraid so.”

Kazmarov sank to his knees. “How do you know?”

“Oh, ZOG YES!” Comrade Heavyfoot lept up, gave Ozy a friendly punch that sent him sprawling, and started shouting orders.

“Well, we LARP refs know these things.” Ozy smiled winningly. “I also note that you didn’t doubt me for a moment. A mistake if ever there was one.” He turned, whistled a merry tune, and set off to gather up his spell ingredients. “He’s got about umpteen Chaos Warriors too, if it makes you feel any better. And a strange sorcerer, funny painted face…”

From which it can be surmised my fourth game was against last year’s Geek of Steel and LARP DM. Fate was on our side-even if the Nottingham society’s main intelligence source, his girlfriend, was notably useless. Hell would be unleashed…


The Nurglite Anti-UHC Conspiracy

Chaos Lord with Rune Shield, Mark of Nurgle. Leads Chaos Warriors I

Finn, Chaos Sorceror (Mark of Nurgle, Level 2, dispel scroll, Lore of Nurgle-Quagmire, Buboes. Part of Warriors II)

Battle Standard Bearer (Mark of Nurgle, Battle Standard, additional hand weapon. Part of Warriors II)

Warriors I (19 Warriors, Full Command, Mark of Nurgle, Shields.)

Warriors II (18 Warriors, Full Command, Mark of Nurgle, Shields.)

5 Knights Of Nurgle (Full Command)

Warshrine Of Nurgle

Hell Cannon


Scenario, Battlefield and Deployment

The Scenario was a Battle for the Pass where the General’s Unit was Unbreakable. Bonus points were given for having a unit in the enemy’s deployment zone.

The battlefield was long and thin (Red Guards still South), a pass through a snowy, mountain village with some houses in the middle, a few pieces of frozen lakes (marshland), and some hills to the South.

The opponent, as we started deploying early, said it was fine, take your time about my deployment. His opinion changed as the sheer size of my army began to sink in-he soon chipped in to shovel out the masses of Guardsmen required...

The Nurglites deployed first. They formed up, in a more or less continuous line, Warriors I, Warriors II, the War Shrine, the Hell Cannon, and the Knights.


The Red Guards placed both Trebuchets on hills, with a unit of archers on the Westernmost hill. The Foreign Brigade with Ozymandias held the South West along with another unit of archers, to try and tie down the Chaos Warriors for as long as possible. The centre had the Enlightenment Brigade as a sort of fulcrum to the advance, with the Quenelles Brigade in column (under, of course, Glorious Comrade von Stahl) and the PLC further to the East to swing out and crush the enemy. Finally, the Easternmost point was held by the Red Cavalry vanguard and the Communications Commissariat, so as to draw out the vile Chaos Knights before the might of the PLC and Communcations Commissariat could smite these malodorous fascists.



The Nurgiltes went first with a vile smelling rasp of a battlecry. Their infantry stumbled forward, limbs rotting as they went. The Knights, obviously fearing the superior armament and skill of the Red Cavalry, only advanced slowly. The Hell Cannon failed to restrain and threw itself towards the Reds-but did not reach them! And the War Shrine also slowly advanced.

Magic saw that strange capering Sorceror, Finn, be injured (not for the first or last time) by a magical artefact: this time round, the silver mirror.

The Revolutionaries began their turn with a series of bold charges. The Red Cavalry charged the Hell Cannon, and the Communications Commissariat flew over it towards the War Shrine. The rest of the army also began to advance, with the Quenelles Brigade and PLC moving forward, and the Enlightenment Brigade moving towards a nearby hill; an ideal defensive position due to the clearer air! A unit of archers also moved into a house in the South East, recquisitioning it as part of the People’s Democratic Republic of Mousillon!

Magic was ineffective, as was shooting, due to our archers and bowmen pitying the Nurglites. In close combat, the Red Cavalry killed all the crewmen of the Hellcannon-but then three were killed by the cannon itself.


The Nurglites continued their crawling offensive, with the War shrine and both Warriors regiments blindly advancing onwards, ignorant of the Communications Commissariat on their flank. The Knights also moved forward slightly, ignoring the Red Cavalry and concentrating on the PLC.

Magic, once again, was ineffective, as was their shooting (although Warriors 2 was given +1 attack.) The last of the Red Cavalry sacrificed themselves against the Hellcannon, rendering it quite uncontrollable, Comrades!

The Communications Commissariat led the way for the continued offensive. They charged into the Warshrine. The PLC, knowing that it would take all battle to hold the enemy back but willing to do so anyway, prepared to receive the charge of the Chaos Knights and the Hell Cannon, swords and pistols ready. The Enlightenment Brigade took up its position on the hill, with Comrade von Stahl himself moving around to support with the Quenelles Brigade, a great honour indeed! And the Foreign Brigade pulled back before the oncoming infantry, trying to lure them forward!

Once again, magic was ineffective. However, ten of the Sorceror’s unit were crushed by a rain of arrows and the Trachanka’s red fire, purging their decay and ending their wretched existence: that of being exploited by Nurgle, the God of disease!

In close combat, the Communications Commissariat found the War Shrine a tougher opponent than they had predicted; their tactic of attacking with swords, rather than Von Stahlist thought, was doubtless a cause of this.

The Chaos army then began to attack the Revolutionary lines. Warriors 2 (with a slightly out of place looking sorcerer at their head, wishing he had another dagger) charged the Enlightenment Brigade, and the Knights and Hellcannon both charged the PLC. Warriors 1 continued to advance towards the revolutionary lines.

The Chaos Magics began to work their deadly effects as the Trachanka was sucked into the ground, a sign of the dragging influences of capitalism.

In close combat, the Chaos Knights were put to flight by the sheer presence of Comrade Commissar Grunwald, despite the loss of two Commissars! The Communications Commissariat still held out against the War Shrine. And the Enlightenment Brigade cut down three of the Chaos Warriors facing them. The sacrifice of many of our most loyal Comrades among them will be forever remembered!

Sadly, however, their killing proved so effective that they took the Warriors out of the charge arc of Comrade von Stahl’s own brigade, an action which ultimately doomed them to death without von Stahlism. This, Comrades, quite perfectly illustrates the need for properly coordinated revolutionary action under adequately educated leadership. The Quenelles Brigade had to turn to face them. The Foreign Brigade continued to take a few steps backward.

A storm of arrows succeeded in killing a Nurglite Warrior; but the Trebuchet, unfortunately,misfired. Magic also proved ineffective due to the presence of numerous chaotic agents trying to dispel it.

In close combat, the Enlightenment Brigade made its final stand and was finally cut down by Warriors 2. Both the Hellcannon and the Warshrine, two vile Chaos creatures, were held in check by our brave Guardsmen.

Warriors 1 continued to advance, failing a charge at the Foreign Brigade. Warriors 2 turned to face the wrath of the Quenelles Brigade. And the Chaos Knights rallied.

Finn brightly stepped out of the ranks, and dragged half of the PLC into the mud with one spell.

Their wrath unmatched, the Quenelles Brigade made their URRAH and, with Glorious Comrade von Stahl at their head, charged into the front of Warriors 2.

“Right, Comrades, this is it! Not one step backward! We stand through the ages!” Kazmarov, in the midst of the Foreign Brigade, beat sword on shield and glared at the oncoming Chaos Warriors.

“ORCS! ORCS! ORCS!” roared Comrade Heavyfoot. “I DON’T CARE IF ITZ DA WRONG SYSTEM!”

“Noble, but I’ve got one better.” Ozy stepped forward, and bowed ironically. “BY THE POWER OF BLOOD MAGIC, I-“ the winds of magic started to curl around him. Personally. With a dark tinge..

“Oh, not again…” Kazmarov tried to tackle him. “Y U DO-“

The magical detonation was head for miles around. Six Guardsmen of the Foreign Brigade were killed. The survivors were put to flight before a group of nonplussed Chaos Warriors could even reach them, dragging a dark robed figure with them.

The Quenelles Brigade charged into Warriors 2, and engaged them furiously in hand to hand combat, keeping the survivors in check. Two of the PLC facing the Hellcannon also died.


The Knights then saw them, and charged them in the rear. Warriors 1, slightly disappointed, charged into a unit of archers facing them.

Finn looked around, and saw that the swordsmen were about to do tremendously well, but he had one better. He cleared his throat, produced a phylactery, poured some sour mulled wine, and began to mutter an incantation. His magical detonation (“MASS DEC LIVING!”), needless to say, was bigger. It killed three Warriors, himself, and thirteen Red Guardsmen.


After that, it was a grinding battle of attrition. The Communications Commissariat managed to put the Warshrine to flight, but failed to catch it. In the remaining turns, the Quenelles Brigade, under Glorious Comrade von Stahl, fought to the death against the Chaos Knights, and Comrade Grunwald was finally killed fighting against the Hellcannon. It was a red day for the Revolution; but one from which it shall spring afresh, especially when news came that Comrade von Stahl later escaped captivity, dispatching many of the enemy’s strongest warriors barehanded.

Result: Major Defeat.

Confessions of a Dead Man (After Game thoughts)

After the anticipation, these had better be good if I’m to avoid having to commit a Soviet style suicide for my disgrace to the society: shoot myself in the back of the head whilst wearing handcuffs before jumping into the river Trent whilst wearing concrete boots. Still, here goes. My plan of attack, having looked at his army and analysed it overnight, was based on an overwhelming blow up his East flank, with the PLC and Pegasi hopefully being able to get around the rear of his lines and crush every unit apart from his Unbreakable Generals’ Unit, which I knew would be more or less unkillable. It identified his Knights as the weak point in his lines; these lacked a rank bonus, and would therefore be vulnerable to the static combat res, armour and kills of the PLC and Communications Commissariat in a combined charge. With hindsight, this assumption was flawed. The Warshrine was a weaker point, but I couldn’t just ignore his knights running around my rear areas.

On the day, his infantry was focussed on the West flank. The Lord’s unit was reasonably effectively fed cheap chaff like archers and the Foreign Brigade, so that part (even if I lost more artillery than I would have liked) was quite successful. My counter attack was based on three main prongs: the Pegasi, the PLC, and Comrade von Stahl’s Quenelles Brigade. The PLC were held up all game by the Hellcannon, and (ironically due to their causing the Chaos Knights to rout) failed to tie up the Knights. The Pegasi were held up by the Warshrine due to bad luck and bad pursuit rolls. And the Quenelles Brigade failed to hit home because their Comrades in the Enlightenment Brigade and artillery support were so effective in killing Chaos Warriors that they were left out of charge arc, resulting in the Enlightenment Brigade being massacred without the expected infantry support, their failing to deal with the remains of the Warriors in a frontal attack, and their being sandwiched between the Knights and Warriors. They were finished off by the Chaos Sorceror killing himself in a fabulous explosion that took out over a quarter of their numbers in one go. Without that miscast, the battle would have been marginally narrower on victory points alone.

OK, Comrades, the Self Criticism is over. Can you let me go now?

Other than that, it was the nicest sort of “nearly wiped off the table” defeat I could have asked for, played with good humour against a friend who bought drinks afterwards. Need I say more?

Awilla the Hun
16-04-2012, 18:01
Game 5: The Sadists Strike

Foreign Brigade Encampment

“So, uh, yur. We needs some new boyz fast.” Comrade Heavyfoot looked up from her copy of Who’s Who.

“Indeed.” Kazmarov thought of the issues in his warhammer case, and put down his own copy. “Well, I have a few suggestions.”

“Mmf,” said Ozymandias. Being bound, gagged and stuffed under the last battle’s corpse pile, there was little else he could say.


“Well, we need a new mage, there’s this elf called Maksim running ar-“

“Dat’s just one of your uvver characters, innit.”

“Well… yes.”


“Oh, OK, then… well, there’s this lot from some dump called Talcontar who could be persuaded to join up. They’ve got a… Haleford who can heal stuff, and some guy called Mika who can hit things really well, and Cha-I mean, a magey-fightey looking type called Tal-something or other.”

Comrade Heavyfoot’s ears turned up. “Yuh?”

“I mean, Haleford is one of your characters-“


“-but it seems pretty solid, and this Tal fellow looks reliable. I mean, he isn’t going to join the counter-revolutionaries again or anything at all, by the looks of things.”

The corpse pile “Mmffed” mysteriously.

“Yur, great. And-“

An envelope fluttered down, and a Pegasus was seen wheeling away.

“Oh, wonderful, news.” Kazmarov reached it first. “Ah… says here something about a Carnival.”

“Dats pub stuff?”

“Sort of. And something else. A quote:

‘Know this, my worthy opponent; you shall die how we see fit. By blade and bolt, by fang, claw and the darkest magic. This dawn your blood shall fill Khaine’s Cup, at noon Daemons will sup upon your soul, and by dusk cros will gorge themselves upon your cooling flesh. Attributed to Lady Khalisya.


“We may need more recruits,” Kazmarov muttered as Comrade Heavyfoot busied herself once again with her favourite axe. “Much more recruits…”

So, the final battle. No hopes of tournament glory, just a normal victory, if possible. Team Nottingham, apart from Kal Draigo, didn’t look like it was going to win anything in terms of tournament victories. So, the pressure off my shoulders, it was time to fight. And borrow a quote from my opponent’s army fluff…


The Host of Lady Khalisya

Supreme Sorceress (Dark Magic) with Level 4, Black Amulet (accompanied the Black Guard)

Master on Manticore with Cloak of Hag Graef, Ring of Hotek, Heavy Armour, Shield, Lance

Sorceress (Lore of Fire) with Level 2, Seal of Ghrond (accompanied the Corscairs)

11 Crossbowmen with shields, musician

11 Crossbowmen with shields, musician

20 Corscairs with Full Command, Banner of Murder

15 Black Guard, Full Command, Banner of Hag Graef, Null Talisman

10 Witch Elves with Full Command

5 Shades with Extra Hand Weapons

War Hydra


Scenario, Battlefield and Deployment

The Scenario was a Blood and Glory (but didn’t end when the enemy reached breaking point), and extra points were given for capturing standards.

The battlefield was as Battle 3, except that by some quirk of deployment, I had a house just inside my deployment zone this time.

The Dark Elves (commanded by a former Bretonnian player) deployed first. They set up a unit of Crossbowmen to the North West, and left nothing else to defend their flank from the might of our cavalry forces! Their main line was, from West to East between two hills, a Hydra, their “elite” Black Guard, and their Corscairs. Their Eastern flank had the Manticore ready to fly forth at a moment’s notice, a unit of Wyches, and another of crossbowmen.

The Revolutionaries revelled in their greater numbers. Both flanks were filled with our fastest troops to envelop and overcome the enemy: to the West, the PLC (screened from crossbow bolts by the Red Cavalry, who would loyally sacrifice their lives on the orders of the Commissariat), and the Communications Commissariat vanguarding forward to the East. Each corner of the battlefield had a Trebuchet on a hill, with an archer unit in front at the foot to protect it. The house in the centre of our deployment zone had a unit of archers within it, to pour fire arrows into the Sadist-Elvenists. The Foreign Brigade formed in column under Comrade Dubois to the West, and the Enlightenment to the East, with the Quenelles Brigade under Comrade von Stahl in the centre to go wherever the elves advanced.

The elves went first.



The elves, lacking all subtlety as is typical for their race, went for the immediate offensive, with the Hydra, Black Guard and Executioners advancing down the West, the Manticore flying South-Eastwards, and the Wyches running towards the Communications Commissariat.

Magic saw the PLC being agonised by Word of Pain, but pressing on, mindful of their devotion to Comrade von Stahl. Crossbow casualties remained light due to the poor accuracy and firepower of elven bows. Three of the Red Cavalry were killed.

The revolutionaries, of course, began far more effectively. The Communications Commissariat flew towards the Eastern Crossbowmen, and the Red Cavalry and PLC continued to advance up the Western flank.

Magic did little, as the counter-revolutionaries were still far from our lines. The Hydra, however, was immediately subjected to a storm of fire arrows, which wounded it; it was therefore an easy target for annihilation by the Trachanka, which finished the brute with a rocket! The Trebuchet fired at the Manticore, but failed to wound it; a volley of arrows, however, also managed to wound it.

The Dark Elves, mourning the loss of their Hydra, continued to advance their infantry towards our lines. The Manticore moved up to in front of the archers near the Eastern trebuchet, and growled menacingly.

Magi involved a fireball killing six of the Foreign Brigade, despite (?) Comrade Ozymandias, but they still held out. A Horror spell also struck down some of the Quenelles Brigade. Crossbow bolts killed two of the PLC,but these valiant Commissars kept on riding. Crossbow bolts also struck the Western archers, who ran. This led to a mass summary execution which wiped out the Trachanka crew.

And riding on; for, as the Red Cavalry charged the Dark Elven crossbowmens’ front, they simply ignored the elves and rode around their side, now facing the exposed rear of the elven line. At the same time, the Communications Commissariat swept into the other Crossbow unit, ready to shatter them entirely.


The Foreign Brigade were greatly inspired by the magic of Comrade Ozymandias as they prepared to resist the elven onslaught (Wildform). Another arrow volley struck the Manticore, but did little, as did the arrows directed at the Black Guard.

The Red Cavalry were cut down by their opponents (stronger than the weakling capitalist dwarves),and the Communications Commissariat fought theirs’ to a standstill.

The Black Guard raised their halberds, hissed, and were whipped into battle against the Foreign Brigade. The Corscairs advanced again towards Von Stahl’s brigade, a foolish decision! And the Wyches seemingly fled from the Communications Commissariat; the problem was, they were running towards our infantry line! And the Manticore charged the Trebuchet.

Magic inflicted some losses on the Quenelles Brigade, as did a volley of crossbow-pistol bolts from the Corscairs, but they held out.

In close combat, the Communications Commissariat clubbed and shot their way through more of the crossbowmen, losing a man in the process. Next round, they would break through and carry the red flag to victory! Meanwhile, in the Foreign Brigade…

‘Ya know, zog diz.’ Comrade Heavyfoot looked at the rather large number of dead Guardsmen lying around her. ‘You knowz wotz next.’

Kazmarov looked at Ozy. He shrugged.

‘Drinking blood?’ he suggested, parrying a halberd swing.

‘Shut it! PUB!’ And with that, Comrade Heavyfoot turned and, doing the dance, left the battlefield behind her. Looking at the way the elves were chopping through the Brigade, Kazmarov, Ozy, and the rest of them, felt inclined to join in and flee the battle. The Black Guard pressed closer. And the Manticore swept through the Trebuchet, panicked a nearby unit of archers, and flew off the battlefield.

Closer, that is to say, to death at the hands of revolutionaries, for the Enlightenment Brigade turned and started to march towards them, red flag held high. At the same time, Comrade von Stahl led the Quenelles Brigade in a frontal attack against the Corscairs. The elves foolishly laughed and raised their pistols-only to hear the drumming of hooves as the PLC charged into their side like a red thunderbolt!

The Quenelles Brigade were empowered by Wyssan’s wildform. Arrows poured into the near-naked wyches, flaying their bare flesh with the red fire of the revolution and killing five of them!

In close combat, the Corscairs were utterly smashed by the revolutionaries! Ten of the Quenelles Brigade were killed by crossbow and sword, but together they annihilated the corscairs, took their banner, and the Quenelles continued on into the Wyches’ flank. With such bravery and valour displayed, we shall triumph over the capitalists!


The Manticore returned, and looked towards the central house containing more of our archers. The Black Guard raised their halberds and advanced towards the Enlightenment Brigade.

The elven magic was of little consequence, as was their lack of close combat and inadequate shooting as bolt after bolt bounced off the armour of the PLC.

In the very centre, the revolutionaries formed a line and prepared to receive the Manticore.

An arrow volley hit the Black Guard, and killed a couple.

The Black Guard then charged the Enlightenment Brigade, and the Manticore crashed into the building, pausing only for a short debate about the rules of assaulting buildings.


The Communications Commissariat was reduced to one Commisar by crossbows. In close combat, the archers were routed, the Manticore overran beyond the building, and the Black Guard held in check. Heavy casualties were suffered in the process by both sides-but there are millions of workers for every Black Guardsman!

The Red Guards then rushed to help their Comrades (absolutely not to get out of the Manticore’s charge arc!) They could only watch as they held on…

Only to, ultimately, be wiped out. The Dark Elf sorceress looked up, blew a kiss, and killed two of the PLC with Soul Stealer. This, inexplicably, panicked them, forcing them to retreat! They rallied after promised summary executions; and with that, the game ended as a…




So, that was that. Good game to my opponent. We both made some mistakes. His was to completely neglect his flanks, resulting in him being surrounded. Mine was to underestimate the Black Guard as they laid waste to my infantry; the Enlightenment Brigade could have held them at the first line for longer, buying time for a counter attack.

And, with that, the games drew to a close. Our Wood Elf player became the best sportsman because “I’m a really nice person.” The Grey Knights failed to achieve a medal position due to only winning a minor victory in the final game and (I only state the judges’ opinion) issues with painting and sportsmanship. Nottingham’s LARPers, a veteran bunch, succeeded in having our new LARP DM win as best LARPer, and our Magic players (after some admirable levels of gamesmanship on their part) won gold metals in that category also. The new Board Games and Wargames rep, despite promising to co-operate the hell out of the opposition, failed to win his category, leaving his rival candidate to don his Ushanka and head home

So, what did I learn? Well, expect few of these batreps in the near future. I’m Red Guarded out for now, give or take a game of WHFRP. In military terms, that I’m good at grand scale plans but tend to fall down at little details such as exact unit positioning. And that Comrade von Stahl is always right. Thanks for reading, and any comments will be greatly appreciated.

17-04-2012, 19:35
I love love love these battle reports!

Awilla the Hun
19-04-2012, 10:16
Thank you, Comrade! Unfortunately, these may be the last you're getting for a while. My Imperial Guard could do with some attention, as could various other projects. The Red Guard have been magnificent, but I could do with a break from them.

By way of epilogue... http://www.warseer.com/forums/showthread.php?336333-Comrades-how-would-you-take-on&p=6137030#post6137030

I did look for a Vampire Counts army with grave guard. Askari, did you actually turn up?

19-04-2012, 13:08
Aw man, you might as well put off IG till 6th edition hits, as 40k isn't fun unless you play Leafblower IG.

19-04-2012, 13:15
Great reports, the effort is much appreciated.

You played that Ogre list really well; I expected your list to be bulldozed by the Mournfang, but no!

It is a shame you won't be playing much in the near future... perhaps a new army beckons you? Or perhaps you could adapt your army to be Empire? War Altars, Warrior Priests, Witch Hunters all seem like ideal characters that could be made Communist...

Awilla the Hun
19-04-2012, 21:31
Sexiest: I hope not. The Red Guards have been a great deal of fun, but my poor guardsmen have been quite severely neglected. His Grace, the Duke of Lawford, is doubtless demanding why I'm neglecting him in favour of some feral upstarts. I had best oblige His Grace. My warhammer 40,000 skills have been getting extremely rusty. In recent games with the Red Guards, I felt that I had a far better "grasp" with them than I ever did my Imperial Guardsmen.

Vcassano: lets not overrate things. The Ogres, despite my glorious charge, were on the verge of annihilating the Red Guards altogether, and by rights should have done if they hadn't called time. On the other hand, I'm still pretty proud of my performance, consider disparities in rules knowledge, army list (beefed up joke army with traditional problems against Monstrous infantry and cavalry vs. tournament force), and scenario (massive units Mournfang Cavalry with the Vanguard rule were never going to be a good thing. Admittedly, they went first, so the significance was limited.) Looking at the tournament points, it seems that about 1/3 of the ones he lost for gaming were from our little encounter. He commented that it was "close" afterward. Well done, Comrade-Guardsmen. You did me proud. A few better unit placements (PLC immediately set up to charge his Ogres in the rear, Foreign Brigade out of combat ready to recieve the Mournfang rather than doing nothing in combat), and we'd have liquidated those degenerate consumerists.

Now the tournament results have came out. The Red Guards ended up 14th out of 26th, which isn't bad for a joke army. Gaming was worse than last year in terms of wins and losses, but some lucky tournament points made up for it. Painting was at the low end of average. Meaning, I suppose, that primitive technique and a few broken models (my Pegasi, in particular) were compensated for by theme, conversions and sheer enthusiasm. Sportsmanship was also about average-I daresay that rules errors made up for over acting. So, in an uplifting farewell to this army for the present, we conclude that the Red Guards are totally and utterly normal. If the Revolution has became the norm, then Comrade von Stahl would be proud indeed.

19-04-2012, 21:47
Mournfang with vanguard? There's an error there somewhere!

19-04-2012, 21:54
Good luck in 40k, there are plenty of blob ig players, like myself who use things like penal troops to great effect. Shooting space marine rhinos, and paladins just got unfun, If you have a cool group that's not tourny players you'll be fine. You are a good player I will add, Not getting upset when the net spouts about how This or that will trash a unit of yours, while making the best of your what you had, being gutsy,and most of all not blaming losses on being drunk or other nonsense. Most of all I'll miss fluffy battle reports. Have fun.

Awilla the Hun
19-04-2012, 22:17
It was a scenario special rule. We selected one unit without characters who were allowed to get Vanguard. He wanted to choose his Ironguts, but decided that he didn't want his characters being killed by Trebuchets before they started advancing *innocent smile*, so he chose his biggest Mournfangs instead. I don't think it was that useful, as they would only have got off a turn 2 charge whatever happened. Their vanguard allowed me to redirect them more quickly with the Red Cavalry. I chose the Enlightenment Brigade because I wanted something on the objective early/to hold the Ironguts up. This ended up being the unit thrown at their rear.

Thank you for the compliments, Comrade Sexiest_hero! (It must be pointed out that I did amend the Red Guard slightly according to the wisdom of the internet. The response was mixed. I approved of having proper sized hordes of men to throw around, the Ruby Goblet was a lifesaver, and I appreciate the magic defence. On the other hand, the amount of times one flank of exposed bowmen/trebuchets just melted away because Comrade Bampton wasn't on hand to keep them in line, only due to some guy on the internet demanding I take a second damsel to dispense buffs, who usually ended up being used to provide leadership anyway rather than cast spells... well, there's only one solution for this. More points.)

As for my warhammer 40k experiences, I've been out of the loop, but the overwhelming majority of my opponents have been foot space marines of some description. None are tournament players, although this may change if I face off against our resident fan of Kal Draigo. And my 40k battle reports themselves have been pretty fluffy, in a more story driven, less propagandistic way than the Red Guards. They could be worth reading, if you're interested. The link is still in my signature.