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View Full Version : Comrade, what do you think of my Wacky Imperial Fist Army Fluff?



Sons of Russ
08-06-2005, 19:30
Here's some background fluff on my army....


I thought I'd poke some fun at the serious nature of my chapter, so here goes...

Since the Imperial Fists are from Earth (sorry Holy Terra... :rolleyes: ), a particularily sneaky, high level Apothecathery had tapped into the vast genetic cogitator banks on Terra and cloned the great Cold Warriors of the 21st century to aid the 1st Company....



In great Soviet Army tradition, the Imperial Fists' 1st company attacks as a shock army, the core of this doctrine is to put as much heavy armor and massive firepower down the throat of the enemy position at point blank range as is possible. Probe the enemy for weakpoints in his battle line with skirmish forces, and then deal a great hammer blow against its weakest link.


Starting with the Skirmishers (The Sickle)


My Assault Squad is led by Veteran Sgt. Mikhail Gorbechev; in the 41st millenia, Gorbie says "NEYT" to Perestrioka and UN mandates with the crushing force of a crackling power fist to the skull....Death from above, Comrade.



Tired of throwing shoes, and perhaps a bit crestfallen over the Cuban Missile Crisis, Veteran Scout-Sgt. Nikita Kruschev has stopped pounding his fists into G-6 summit desks and started squishing enemy artillery crews into chowder with his power glove and bolt pistol.

"We will bury you" is often the last thing rear echelon troopers hear before his squad springs out of hiding......


Tac Squad Vet. Sgt. Leonid Brezhnev and his goon squad roll over helpless satellite states with a blinged-out Zlin limo-transport (extra armour, smoke, and cool commie flags flapping on the hood). He deals with capitalists by capping them with rapid fire bolter headshots, sprinkled with plasma and krak missile death....


Before that xenos mole can confess to his capitalist pig-dog CIA handlers, Scout Sgt. Yuri Andropov has his squad of elite KGB snipers paint his head in red laser dots and takes the target down faster than a lost South Korean airliner....

Terminators (The Hammer)

With his faith in the Emperor, Communism , and his parish school upbringing , little Nikolia Gerasimovich Kusnetsov was previledged to hear an address of his great leader at an early age, and soon learned there was more to the galaxy than the backwater town of Medvedka could offer him.

Through years of hard combat and intense training, he rose through the ranks until the chapters librarians singled him out to develop his dormant abilities.
A masterful tactician and great leader, he has honed his latent powers into a fearsome battlecraft as he wages war for Rogal Dorn and the Golden Throne.

Always the tinkerer, he adapted to service in Lysander's 1st Company as Master Epistolary and has modified his personal weapons and those of his Terminator Squads to make the most impact on the signature style of the Imperial Fists Veteran Company; point blank deep-strikes with surgical precision into the heart of enemy formations.....


Leading a roving band of merry Marxists (in the heaviest armor Mother Russia-I mean the Emperor- can provide), Terminator Sgt Sergei Kirov acts as the
right hand man to Big Joe, the Chapter-Master. With a built-in cooler for his plasma shot power packs and vodka, he strides the battle field in his terminator armor with power-sword humming and his combi-plasma locked and loaded. When he and his squad make contact with enemy forces, they put down the hurt, Oktober Revolution-style.

Captain Lysander, originally a high fashion child actor/runway model. (making several appearances in the highly accalimed White Dwarf publication) A big hearted boy with dreams of Broadway, but was not able to find his true calling for many years....

Nevertheless, after an awkard McCauley-Culkin phase filled with free drugs and high living, he binged and purged until he was granted a vision of the Emperor, made a pilgrimage to Terra, and pledged his life to one of service in the Adeptus Astartes.

His self-less acts of valour and his complete inablitiy to hit at Initiative 5 have been an example to all Imperial Fists who seek to be 'pure of heart and strong of body, untainted by doubt and unsullied by self-aggrandisment. Bright stars in the firmament of battle ready to put the Emperor's Fist through the skulls of heretics and xenos scum.

Still, he thinks its kind of creepy when all the guys call him Comrade-Captain Lysander-ov and he keeps finding copies of the Communist Manifesto tucked into the back-pocket of his terminator armor......

Goblinardo
09-06-2005, 02:52
*gives SoR a cookie. A Soviet cookie! :D *

Rövhalt
09-06-2005, 08:11
*a cookie with red frosting...*

Iuris
09-06-2005, 10:22
*gives SoR a cookie. A Soviet cookie! *

What about the complimentary dentures that came with every box? :)

Inquisitor DreaxIV
09-06-2005, 10:38
And a side order of spam...






Sounds very ummm...... interesting :) Good to see some humour every now an again

With his faith in the Emperor, Communism , and his parish school upbringing , little Nikolia Gerasimovich Kusnetsov was previledged to hear an address of his great leader at an early age, and soon learned there was more to the galaxy than the backwater town of Medvedka could offer him.
LOL this is funny :p