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View Full Version : Thesaurushammer - tell me your spoof AoS names (NOT AoS friendly)



ewar
26-10-2015, 01:22
First of all, if you like AoS please don't feel the need to post here to defend it, this is NOT an attack on you personally

To anyone else, I have been involved in a fairly interesting discussion in the background forum about the quality (or lack thereof) of the AoS fluff. I have not played a game of AoS, I don't comment on the quality of the game as it does not interest me in any way, shape or form.

I was, though, interested in the background to the Mortal Realms. I have been pretty disgusted with the terrible writing which I have seen so far (before anyone asks, I have not read every single publication from GW on this, though I have read a fair amount). So, in keeping with GWs new fetish for deeply unimaginative compound names, I thought it would be fun to see what the community could come up with.

To play 9.5 Thesaurushammer you need 2D6 and a web browser open on Thesaurus.com. First pick one of the mortal plains, then choose a related word. So for example I chose Aqshy, key word lava (off the top of my head) and castle. Roll the d6 to randomise for table column, then again for the row of the table. So in my example I got 2,1 giving the word Slag, then 3,3 for Palace.

Say hello to the capital fortress of Aqshy, the Slagpalace! Obviously some come up pretty boring so I haven't posted those, but I think a couple of other good ones are:

- Campfire Fort
- Holocaust Manor
- Conflagration Bluff

I'm working on an advanced ruleset involving AdjectiveNoun Noun combinations such as Chillyheap Butte where I was playing around with a cold theme.

Anyway, I just thought I'd add one more alternate ruleset into the pile which is out there at the moment. It's probably about as rewarding to play as AoS (kidding!).

Spiney Norman
26-10-2015, 23:46
Actually these names remind me a lot of the outpost names in the Horus Heresy Drop assault tablet game. As someone who kind of does like AoS I hope I'm still welcome here, I'm not detecting any outright malevolence toward the game, and poking a little light-hearted fun at the background is absolutely warranted in my view, it's not like the old wfb naming conventions were much better (which brought us such epic character names as Lord Xilipeppa, Silibili and Lotlbotl).

So my Khorne Lord's base is the Petulant Citadel situated at Butchery Breach, his most recent campaign has been against the inhabitants of Ruthless Thicket in the realm of beasts.

Pojko
27-10-2015, 04:44
In the Realm of Death, Nagash looked over his mighty kingdom. Stood atop the Afterlife Rampart of his Extinction Pyramid, he saw off in the distance where his legions had done battle against the forces of Chaos at Destruction Mire Only at Casualty Swale had there been greater bloodshed in a single day. The peaks of Destruction Pike and Darkness Dome towered in the distance, but even those were shadowed by the mighty Euthanasia Height which stood over all else. He gloried in the thought of breaking the Bloodbound forces on the walls of Decease Citadel, but adding more corpses to the ranks of his minions would have to wait for another day.

...
Can I write for Games Workshop yet?

SuperHappyTime
27-10-2015, 06:28
Think the formula here is off, a good 50% of the names should draw reference to sigmar or other fairly one dimensional character.

ewar
28-10-2015, 02:25
Actually these names remind me a lot of the outpost names in the Horus Heresy Drop assault tablet game. As someone who kind of does like AoS I hope I'm still welcome here, I'm not detecting any outright malevolence toward the game, and poking a little light-hearted fun at the background is absolutely warranted in my view, it's not like the old wfb naming conventions were much better (which brought us such epic character names as Lord Xilipeppa, Silibili and Lotlbotl).

So my Khorne Lord's base is the Petulant Citadel situated at Butchery Breach, his most recent campaign has been against the inhabitants of Ruthless Thicket in the realm of beasts.

I love the Petulant Citadel, I don't think I've ever heard of anything more apt for a Khorne lord :)

Though I disagree on the silly names in WFB - at least they were deliberately silly, nothing wrong with a bit of tongue in cheek after all. My favourite will always be Lord Kroak.


In the Realm of Death, Nagash looked over his mighty kingdom. Stood atop the Afterlife Rampart of his Extinction Pyramid, he saw off in the distance where his legions had done battle against the forces of Chaos at Destruction Mire Only at Casualty Swale had there been greater bloodshed in a single day. The peaks of Destruction Pike and Darkness Dome towered in the distance, but even those were shadowed by the mighty Euthanasia Height which stood over all else. He gloried in the thought of breaking the Bloodbound forces on the walls of Decease Citadel, but adding more corpses to the ranks of his minions would have to wait for another day.

...
Can I write for Games Workshop yet?

I literally can't tell if you copy and pasted this from Warhammer: Age of Sigmar: The Realmgate Wars: Nagash Strikes Back: Episode II


Think the formula here is off, a good 50% of the names should draw reference to sigmar or other fairly one dimensional character.

Good point. Perhaps it should include a table for references to Sigmar or Blood.

Holier Than Thou
28-10-2015, 10:50
Good point. Perhaps it should include a table for references to Sigmar or Blood.

The table will need to provide the opportunity for doubling up.

Angerrage Bloody-Blood-Blood, Khorne Champion and leader of the Murderblood Murderers.

MOMUS
28-10-2015, 20:07
Outrage! Let me know the next 8th tourney you're at Ewar so I can mince your models ;) :p

ewar
30-10-2015, 00:26
Outrage! Let me know the next 8th tourney you're at Ewar so I can mince your models ;) :p

haha, that would be a long overdue battle! I'm at Bunker Brawl in a couple of weeks, not sure what I'll do in 2016, but if there is anything out West I'll pm you!

Col. Tartleton
01-11-2015, 05:20
Its funny how in the Realm of Life having a "Forest of Shadows" would be fine but in the Realm of Shadow having a "Forest of Shadows" is just dumb. In the Old World we'd have the former, in the New World we'd have the latter.

Attilla
02-11-2015, 10:24
The table will need to provide the opportunity for doubling up.

Angerrage Bloody-Blood-Blood, Khorne Champion and leader of the Murderblood Murderers.

This made me laugh, especially the pure evil name of Murderblood Murderers! Thanks :D

vlad78
03-11-2015, 11:08
This made me laugh, especially the pure evil name of Murderblood Murderers! Thanks :D

I second that.

Galadrin
04-11-2015, 01:21
Sigmar rode atop his Bloodbath Gorgeboar, which looked exactly like a Swiftclaw Deathagar in the fading light of the Deadsun Shadowstar. From his Thronespike Beastsaddle, he saw the distant forces of Roarbone Ravagers attacking the Citadel of Hopelost Thornbottom. He knew then, that his oathblade clawgar skullsnap brightshield hammerblast doomdactyl apathypie.

The_Real_Chris
04-11-2015, 13:07
I am shuddering with silent laughter in the office lunch break...

Daniel36
04-11-2015, 13:20
If I ever start a Blood Bowl Chaos team, they will be the Murderblood Murderers. In fact, if I had the money, I would've just ordered a team right this minute just so I could use this name for it.

ewar
04-11-2015, 22:41
Sigmar rode atop his Bloodbath Gorgeboar, which looked exactly like a Swiftclaw Deathagar in the fading light of the Deadsun Shadowstar. From his Thronespike Beastsaddle, he saw the distant forces of Roarbone Ravagers attacking the Citadel of Hopelost Thornbottom. He knew then, that his oathblade clawgar skullsnap brightshield hammerblast doomdactyl apathypie.

But lo, Roarbone Sorebuttock was wrathfully angry, enraged, most irritated and slightly irked at the sight of Sigmar astride his Bloodbath Gorgeboar. He kicked his heels into the flanks of his Ragehound Doompony and charged across the Skeletal Skullplain of Osteologic Death, up the Bloodsputum Hill, past the famous Citadel of Hopelost Thornbottom that had stood unassailed for 876,432 years. His Ravagers followed closely behind him, ravishing their way across the rapaciously ruined and robbed Skullplain, eager to face Tho... umm, Sigmar in bloody battle.

Holier Than Thou
04-11-2015, 22:51
This made me laugh, especially the pure evil name of Murderblood Murderers! Thanks :D


I second that.


If I ever start a Blood Bowl Chaos team, they will be the Murderblood Murderers. In fact, if I had the money, I would've just ordered a team right this minute just so I could use this name for it.

Thanks, I start with Black Library on Monday. :p

Galadrin
05-11-2015, 05:17
But lo, Roarbone Sorebuttock was wrathfully angry, enraged, most irritated and slightly irked at the sight of Sigmar astride his Bloodbath Gorgeboar. He kicked his heels into the flanks of his Ragehound Doompony and charged across the Skeletal Skullplain of Osteologic Death, up the Bloodsputum Hill, past the famous Citadel of Hopelost Thornbottom that had stood unassailed for 876,432 years. His Ravagers followed closely behind him, ravishing their way across the rapaciously ruined and robbed Skullplain, eager to face Tho... umm, Sigmar in bloody battle.

I like how you stuck with my subtle "Sigmar sodomized by a spike" imagery with Roarbone Sorebuttock. That is actually an important part of the fluff for GW's vision of the Warhammer IP and setting.

Baragash
05-11-2015, 08:04
Ragehound Doompony

The quest for all their IP has belong to them has even renamed the infamous Rending Pony?! :wtf:

That's it, I'm out.......:mad:

*storms off to burn collection*

Adam_Barrow
05-11-2015, 12:54
Doomdactyl! Dude, I lost it at that. Oh, man....

Konovalev
06-11-2015, 16:57
Elves/Dark Elves = Fairy Fighters
Sigmarines = Siggy's
Warriors of Chaos/Bloodborne = He'men

English 2000
09-11-2015, 12:47
Elves/Dark Elves = Fairy Fighters
Sigmarines = Siggy's
Warriors of Chaos/Bloodborne = He'men
I love that "Sigmarine" has become so commonplace that people now treat it as if that's their actual name rather than a purgerative.

The_Real_Chris
09-11-2015, 14:43
After leafing through a few bloodbowl things this morning I realise where GW did this style of naming before - in their spoof fantasy game!

Zywus
09-11-2015, 15:03
AoS kinda is like an expanded version of the BB universe, except it takes itself very serious.