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Autobot HQ
24-11-2006, 10:48
** High impact music plays, accompanied by images of Orcs crashing into Humans, Elves into other lves, and Halflings into the food cart. Station logo of 'WSTV' flashes up as voice over begins**

Introduction: "High impact! High scoring! High body count! WSTV season review, as brought to you by Painstation 2, with your host Groshhhhhhhhhhh'nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'George!"

**Fade in pans to huge red desk, behind which sits a two-headed Ogre looking rather uncomfortable in a blue tweed suit. Whilst one head looks distingtively Ogre-ish, complete with metal tooth and bald head, the other wears a toupe and a pair of glasses, ruffling papers in his free hand, whilst the other hand picks the brutish Ogre's nose.**

Smart-Looking Ogre: "Hello and good evening sports fans! This is George here, bringing you the best in the Division One of the Warseer League..."

Ugly Brute: "and I iz Grosh, 'oo is 'ere to tell yer all 'ow brutal it all iz!"

George: "...Quite. Well, as my other half here drools down my new suit, lets take a look at the standings after the first month of gameplay, over to Nikkit at the leaderboard."

**Pans to a small goblin, with a bikini on**

Nikkit: "Well George, the Xini Warseers lead the pack with 8pts, narrowly denied the full points by a drag out game with the New Zaggarund Quakes, who are in second by just a single point. Behind them are the Tenpole Tudor Team with 6pts, and trailing behind are Cwmbran Cowboys Utd with only 3 pts. Back to you George."

**Pans to Grosh'n'George**

George: "Thanks Nikkit. And I see that the network has lowered itself into making you wear a bikini for ratings!"

Nikkit: "No they haven't.."

George: "..Oh..Right.. Anyhow, lets run down the teams Grosh, we'll start at the bottom and make our way up the table"

Grosh: "Grosh dunt like bottoms, Grosh likez different part of girl ogre Grosh likez .."

George: "Stop that right there Grosh..really. So, with a distinct lack of Touchdowns, Cwmbran Cowboys Utd are certainly the underdogs in their games, but whats really suprising Grosh is their sheer inability to take damage. It seems no matter what is thrown at them, the come through it without the usual stack of halfling bodies, whats yor take Grosh?"

Grosh: "Dem be 'ard lil fellas with furry feet. I likez em, they make Grosh smile"

George: "And there you have it. Meanwhile, further up the table tenpole Tudors are developing nicely, with a loss, a draw and a win under their furry belt. Potential stars to look out for include Eddie the Stormvermin, who really should have his nails done, and the incredibly fast Gutter Runner Frank-N-Furter, who as we know Grosh at any given moment could mutate into a scoring machine."

Grosh: "Furry rats. Dey run fast and dey is scoring lots, but dey go squish real easy. I dunno bout dere chances George"

George: "I'm sorry, for a second it sounded like you was actually commentating there Grosh. I'll assume not. Second place belongs to the New Zaggarund Quakes, who are yet to lose a game. Proving power and speed works, they look like they may going for a power-play in style, after their Team Owner Thor Thunderstorm."

Grosh: "Dats not really suprizing George, dey is a 'eavy team an' dem armour dey wear makes 'em 'ard to 'urt. I dun like it when dey kick me and run off. Well, waddle off HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.."

George: "Very funny Grosh. And finally we come ..."

Grosh: "...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.."

George: "...I said.. Oh just ignore him. In first place in the season with only a draw negating their perfect record are Xini Warseer. With a staggering display of both speed and strength, one has to wonder if once this team gets going, will anyone be able to stop them?

Grosh: "Well George, dey 'ave a new team entering da league now wid sum zombie type guys and sum fast stabby fings, and dey scare me so dey might scare dem too!"

George: "That's right Grosh, The Never Ahand, Always Afoot Necromantic team are entering the fray now, and how will this change the dynamics of the league? With the guarentee of a couple of armour breakers, even the Saurus of Xini Warseer has to be sweating this enhancement. We'll be watching this unfold in the second month of the season, so we suggest you tune in every night for more exciting developments!"

Grosh: "Dis chicken tastes funny.."

George: "Erm...Where did Nikkit go...?"

tenpole
24-11-2006, 18:37
Frank-n furter: EEeeeeek sssskkaven gets warsssstone leggsss awardssss
Coach: No my fine Gutter runner because you underperformed and besides it is the golden boot award not the warpstone leg, which is held by yourself, Rugg (New Zag) and Titch (Xini). All have acheived two touchdowns each.