View Full Version : Amusing anecdotes!

02-03-2007, 16:22
ok, so once, my sorceror guy spent most of a game on top of a building somoning a huge genestealer. a buncha people tried to stop him, but just as they got to the rooftop, it popped up, and started massacaring them. the sorceror guy wanted to avoid this fate, and jumped from the top of the 3 story buliing. well, at least he didn't get slashed to bits by a horrid alien. anyone else?

02-03-2007, 16:33
The classic event was in a game where a mostly-bionic Inquisitor got one foot trapped in rubble (following an unsuccessful Risky action - I hate just saying "you fall over" all the time). After failing two strength tests to escape, he declared that he was detaching his leg and hopped into combat with a nearby Arbiter.

The poor Arbiter had his **** handed to him. Possibly because he was laughing so much at the hopping Inquisitor.

We briefly discussed the possibility that the leg might be able to hop after its master, but decided that this was jsut TOO silly.


02-03-2007, 16:48
how come he managed to hit the arbites. i woulda though he woulda spent most of his effort trying to remain upright!

02-03-2007, 18:19
Gyro-stabilizers in his bionic chest unit. Also, he should remember to sync up his MIU to all of his limbs before heading out into loose rubble next time.

- Salvage

02-03-2007, 19:34
A Necron tomb has been discovered with an active Portal. A team is sent to destroy it. One has a Demo charge to do this.

The team is slaughtered, except the Demo charge man. Making his way to the portal, he is trapped by a Tomb Spyder. The large technobeetle engages him in combat and he gets pretty badly hurt. As a last ditch attempt to take it out, he disengages and throws the Demo charge. It lands under the floating monstrosity and detonates, taking them both out in a single spectacular blast.

Somewhere in the galaxy, that portal's still open...

02-03-2007, 19:58
how come he managed to hit the arbites?
He charged in with a free attack. Got a critical to the groin. Those are never good, but it's even worse when it's a punch from someone with a bionic arm! BIG strength bonus.

Oh, and another good moment was the well-regarded "Pulp Fiction" turn.

Cornered Desperado makes a last-ditch attempt to get past nasty Inquisitor and flukes out with a maximum 4 actions. He thinks: "oh yeah - Beirut unload!" and unleashes 4 actions of semi(2) and single from his revolver and stubber (that's 12 shots, folks).

Every single shot misses*.

The Inquisitor raises his bolt pistol and slots the poor bugger between the eyes with one cap.


*This was quite surprising. His BS was 60-something and he had a -20 mod for semi(2) and a -20 mod to the revolver for off-hand, plus the Inq was 15 yards away, but he still had a 20-40% chance of hitting with each shot. He figured at least ONE would hit. Sadly, statistics are the damnation of the desperate.

02-03-2007, 20:52
Oh, that reminds me. Point-blank Inferno bolt shell to the chest of an Eldar, having just stepped out of close combat.


02-03-2007, 21:51
It wasn't really amusing at the time, but ...

My INQ warband went up against an Eversor assassin two weeks ago, despite whining on my part. Eversor slams across the board and charges my kroot merc, who dances backwards and disengages from combat. The kroot unloads 16+ multi-launcher shots into the assassin point blank and misses them all, and my Magos Dynoxus with implant heavy stubber likewise misses 12+ shots. Inquisitor Ortega revs his eviscerator and furious assaults the eversor, hitting him in the leg twice!

Spooked, the eversor hits all of his drugs, psychon and barrage taking him up beyond space marine levels. Ortega dodges like mad, but the eversor lunges forward and tags the inquisitor in the face shield of his helmet, decapitating him in an explosion of blood. The assassin from hell uses his remaining action (!) to charge the kroot waiting a few yards away.

Dynoxus coldly racks his stubber arm and throws eight shots at the sparring eversor and kroot. He misses the eversor but hits the merc twice in the head, blowing the alien's head clean off. He feels no remorse at this, but it doesn't bold well ...

The eversor flies into combat with the magos, missing the dodging techpriest once before planting the neuro-gauntlet in his organic abdomen. The magos explodes in two, and 20+ turns later the eversor dies from barrage.

So ... not a fan of the eversor :(

- Salvage

Bubble Ghost
03-03-2007, 17:36
He's a bit of an action man type, my guy, but on his wits rather than brawn. Kind of an Indiana Jones of the 41st millennium. Once he was trying to get into a building being guarded from a first storey window by a guy with an assault rifle of some sort. Unknown to this guy, the tower thing opposite (made out of a spray-painted Pringle's tube I seem to recall) had a ladder on the far side of it. The Inquistor climbed up and deftly leapt onto the roof of the building, unseen by the guard. The building had a hole in the roof just behind the guard (it was a huge piece of 40K scenery). Rather than shoot the guy and make a noise, the Inquisitor jumped through the hole, grabbed the lip of it, and swung in and punted the guard square in the back with both feet, sending him toppling out of the window. The guard passed the initiative check the GM allowed him to grab the window sill. Undeterred, the Inquisitor drew his chainsword, showed it to the dangling gaurd, and offered him the choice of falling either with or without his fingers. He elected to jump. And pretty much broke his legs.

He also carries a dud grenade, for bluffing with. A couple of times now he's rolled it towards an enemy position and used the next turn's desperate "pick up grenade! Throw it back!" actions in the enemy ranks as cover to stroll up and arrest them.

In another scenario, one guy's gunslinger type character was left on guard duty with nothing to do. Bored, he just declared actions of spinning his revolver around his finger every turn to amuse himself. We decided this was a risky action and he'd drop the pistol if he failed it. Cue, every other turn, the distant sounds of *swish swish ********! clatter* as his warband's infiltration silently unfolded six feet away down the table.

03-03-2007, 18:06
funny story, my inquis charged a genestealer magos but somehow got knocked back the magos then ripped a pipe of the wall with his mind and hurled it at me. my guy managed to duck in time and the pipe ended up hitting an eversor assassin and pining him to the wall the assassin then got back up and clobbered my fella over the head with the said pipe :D

03-03-2007, 20:16
a desperado + a guard have a lightning shoot as one enters the room. they're both badly hurt, and, lying on the floor, my guy proceeds to roll a grenade across the floor into the other guy's face.

Crazy Snika
08-03-2007, 20:32
Old man having to rescue has captured friend from a top floor of a large building, avoiding bodyguards (basically thugs played by ogres, so short fat men). Gets rid of the bodyguards by throwing the stones, the old man manages to untie the friend, after having to pass a nerve test (not an easy task being an old man) and they decide to run. Everyone hears them, and they run after.
The decision is made that they shall jump down to the bottom off a balcony (mabye not the best idea (but the other option was a lift with Fungus No-Shoes* in). Old man jumps unscathed, but his friend gets a heavy injury on right leg and right arm. It then becomes a very tight and nerve-racking running race between some short fat men, a crippled guy and an old man.
Ironically, old man goes inro system shock :(

*Fungus is the stupidest being in the galaxy (he rivals his plant name-sakes for intelligence). We made him take a sagacity test NOT to reaload an enemies gun, as he couldn't (luckily, he passed!)[dice0]

08-03-2007, 21:04
Last years' Malleus Mortis event at GW Glasgow, ran by Ruaridh Dall.

Some highlight anecdotes:

- My Inquisitor-Magos (via a Binary Cortex, so two characters in one body) Psychic Impelled an Inquisitor clean out of the region (ie straight off the table by quite a large margin!)
- An Inquisitor jabbing a powersword into a barrel of promethium. It promptly went KABOOM!
- My character again Psychic Impelling a Power Armoured Inquisitor out of combat with a Power Armoured Enemy Inquisitor, and clean through a duracrete wall
- Making a mad dash across the table, stopping to have a duel with the enemy PA Inquisitor, dashing from combat, saying "Don't mind me!" to the 'ally' Inquisitor (who was recently propelled through said wall) then running back and stabbing the enemy PA Inq in the face with a Powerdrill

Other highlights from other games included a Grenade Launcher launched krak grenade hitting a Devout Sister in the crotch and knocking her three stories down, only to crack her right leg and back in addition to the grenade damage!

Oh, it is always fun!

08-03-2007, 21:12
i remember the time with fungus...:)
yeah,the captured friend tried to cause a distracting noise for the guards by thowing a stone to go clank. however, having his limbs tied, the guy had to pick up the stone with his lips and spit it! and there was the ' stand up sit down fight' where 2 guys in cc kept knocking eachother prone, only to stand up and knock the other guy prone.

08-03-2007, 22:14
At the end of my first Inquisitor camapign ever, my Desperado ended up going toe-to-toe with a miniature carnifex. (by miniature, I mean it was only twice as tall as my character, instead of towering over the battlefield.) As this was the end of the campaign, he had just run out of rifle shells, so he sprinted into close combat with it and hit it with his revolver until he was out of ammo for that too. Then he pummeled it with knuckle dusters and took it down to within two points of its conciousness value.

Another memorable moment was where I played my xenophile Inquisitor's warband. My Inquisitor was meeting with two other Inquisitors in a plaza, one puritan and one who didn't care. The puritan wanted to haul me in, so my Inquisitor ran up the side of the building, and the puritan opened fire. My sniper then pegged him in the head, the only part of his body not covered by power armor, and in fact, unarmored. Couple injury levels, stunned. Then my Inquisitor runs along the rooftops and sprays the puritan down with volley after volley of semi-4 fire from his autogun. His head pops like a ripe melon. It's a running joke in our group now about how you should ALWAYS wear a helmet.

13-03-2007, 20:12
The quickest game of Inquisitor ive ever seen ended when i casually tossed a Haywire grenade which managed to catch the entire rival warband as they squeezed behind a little shack, only to find out my mate had given them _all_ bionic hearts and lungs (Im mildly infamous for liking gas) and promptly wandered over and stared at all the corpses...

The funniest momment was when confronting a rampaging Praetoran Guard servitor in a cave. One of the Inquisitors Henchmen hoisted a Disposable plasma Missile launcher to his shoulder and promptly ran out of actions, que the Assassin who had caused the whole mess hitting him with a hallucinogen poisoned dart and rolling the "theres a snake on your leg!" Result. The Guardsman was atomised and the blast took out one of the caves support pillars, eventually burying nearly everyone involved under tonnes of rubble. (the Assassin promptly pegged it ofc)

13-03-2007, 22:12
sounds good, i tend to find that =][= is a break from the core games.

16-03-2007, 18:34
My Inquisitor is trying to extract one of his agents while the enemy is trying to kill him. As we were playing with 2 man warbands this was a really tense game, becasue no one wanted to lose someone first. After screamin at his (cowardly) agent for 5 actions, all of which failed and 3 were naturals, my guardsman runs over to him and head butts him, knocking him out. He then proceds to drag the agent an astounding 40 inches while the inqusitor provides covering fire with his autogun.

Unfortunetly the poor agent had his leg blown off by a grenade intended for my guardman!

18-03-2007, 00:44
best thing to happen with my games was when the magos had my inquisitor at gun point detailing his evil plan, and my heroic gun slinger got him at gun point to, cue the entertain exchange(we thought in narritive) of
magos "by the time you kill me ill kill her"
gunslinger "really?"
mago "yes"
gunslinger "i guess not"

we play all our games like 80s action movies by the way

18-03-2007, 21:16
we play all our games like 80s action movies by the way

As one should, of course. :D


22-03-2007, 18:28
One game, 3 guardsmen against a duo of eldar rangers, the Rangers objective was to destroy a beacon, guiding an inquisitor into land. The two guardsmen succeded in driving off the Rangers, but the melta-bomb had become attatched to the beacon. My guardsman promptly runs up, yanks it off and...

Just stands there. Beep. Beep. KABOOM!

22-03-2007, 20:37
Ah, yes... that fabulous "oh sh**, I've run out of Actions" rabbit-in-the-headlights moment!

It's one of the things that genuinely makes Inquisition immense fun to play even despite the occasionally crap rules.