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Hanzin Lorrdhe
08-04-2005, 21:28
Here's the history behind a custom-created chapter of mine. I still haven't decided what traits to pick, but I know I'll be having the "sneaky choice 0-1" and the "lose one slot of Elite, Fast Attack and Heavy Support" ones (sorry about the names, I have the codex in French). That's irrelevant, however, so without further ado, let me introduce you to the Brotherhood Encarmine (yes, the name doesn't make much sense) - timeline first, and protagonist bios will be coming soon. It would be much appreciated (actually, that's the reason why I'm posting it) if I could get a bit of constructive criticism here and there and most importantly, told where my imagination clashes with established fluff.


History of the Brotherhood Encarmine

Key dates

598.M35 Senatorum Imperialis declares new Space Marines founding.

603.M35 Steel Gauntlets created from Crimson Fists geneseed; chapter duty established as patrolling Mordant Zone (Ultima Segmentum).

607.M35 Steel Gauntlets depart from Segmentum Solar; Shield of the Chosen, Righteous Fury, Imperial Harbinger, Light’s Herald, Angel of Woe, Just Anger, Wrath of Dorn, Void Wanderer, Unrelenting Hatred and flagship Steel Gauntlet make up the chapter fleet. Two of the ten strike cruisers are destroyed as their Warp field generators malfunction (Imperial Harbinger and Angel of Woe) and they re-enter realspace inside the Sun’s gravity well. The other eight enter the Warp successfully.

737.M35 No sightings of the Steel Gauntlets in Mordant Zone are reported. Chapter is classified “presumed lost” and no further mention of it is made in Imperial archives.

412.M36 Steel Gauntlets strike cruisers reappear east of Mordant Zone after 795 years spent drifting; only four of the eight ships that departed Segmentum Solar leave the Warp. Chapter archives report that the missing four (Light’s Herald, Steel Gauntlet, Shield of the Chosen and Wrath of Dorn) were destroyed as their psychic shields collapsed near simultaneously shortly after entering the Warp. Communication logs with Steel Gauntlet hint at some form of sabotage. Void Wanderer, only ship with remaining functional long distance communications equipment, picks up distress signal from nearby system of Khaleth under attack from renegade Imperial Guard force, broadcasted with attached inquisitorial clearance from Inquisitor Lord Hanzin Lorrdhe. Epistolary Asadh Vehlta, now chapter master of the Steel Gauntlets, commits the chapter’s full force to assisting the Khaleth system. Void Wanderer, Righteous Fury, Just Anger and Unrelenting Hatred set course for Khaleth I. Void Wanderer exits the Warp at .4c with direct course on Emperor class renegade Imperial flagship Emperor’s Blade due to course correction miscalculations and strikes with such force that it continues onwards to ram into Vengeance class grand cruiser Aquiline Talons and Apocalypse class battleship Heavenly Lance. Retribution class cruiser Olianus Pius collides with the drifting wreck of Emperor’s Blade due to lack of manoeuvrability and crashes into Khaleth I’s surface, impacting with renegade Guard main ground headquarters; renegade fleet suffers a crippling blow and is rendered inoperative. Series of precise strikes launched by Steel Gauntlet Imperial Space Marines deal with remainder of enemy command structure; half of renegade forces rout in remaining vessels and flee Khaleth I whilst the other half remains grounded on the planet surface and is taken prisoner, forced to aid in reconstruction of Khaleth I’s defenses. Inquisitor Lord Lorrdhe requisitions what is left of the chapter to help secure the system.

419.M36 Warp storms completely isolate Khaleth system from rest of Mankind.

422.M36 Governing Council for Space and Land (GCSL), governing body of Khaleth, accused of heresy by Inquisitor Lord Lorrdhe; massive purges in the government infrastructure. Inquisitor Lord Lorrdhe commits himself to solving Khaleth system’s issues personally and places the system under inquisitorial control. Steel Gauntlets under Lorrdhe’s directions purge the system of all taint of Chaos.

435.M36 Construction of inquisitorial fortress on Khaleth II begins.

457.M36 Construction of inquisitorial fortress on Khaleth II ends. Inquisitor Lord Lorrdhe starts training inquisitorial storm troopers from Khaleth system’s population in order to replenish his strike force, Lorrdhe’s Glaive.

471.M36 Inquisitor Lord Lorrdhe binds daemonic entity U’glyl’tr’ash’n’yan to his service.

501.M36 Discovery of a Deathcult based on Khaleth I, dedicated to Khorne. Members of the cult are set along the path of the Emperor, thereby saving them from eternal damnation, and offer their services to Inquisitor Lord Lorrdhe in thanks.

542.M36 Inquisitor Lord Lorrdhe binds daemonic entity Hu’lnyargh’r’a’therni to his services.

873.M36 Inquisitor Lord Lorrdhe renames the Steel Gauntlet Imperial Space Marines the Brotherhood Encarmine. The new chapter is so diminished that it physically cannot fight according to Codex Astartes doctrine. Inquisitor Lord Lorrdhe reigns with an iron hand on Khaleth; system prospers, developing inwards due to Warp storm isolation.

803.M37 A civil war breaks out. Khaleth III under “the Black Lord Khaleth Blackheart” attacks Khaleth I and II. Inquisitorial fortress on Khaleth II under siege but manages to hold out. Coordinated attack from the Brotherhood Encarmine and Lorrdhe’s Glaive annihilate the Black Lord’s forces. Blackheart manages to escape, but flees into the Warp storms shielding the system and is presumed destroyed.

390.M39 Warp storms cease. Tentative exploration of surrounding area begins.

743.M39 Tau Explorer class Water Strider chances to pass through Lorrdhe’s Protectorate, now expanded to nearby systems. Tau emissaries are greeted by Inquisitor Lord Lorrdhe on Khaleth I. Por’el T’au Kyu’vash departs from Khaleth system for Tau Empire to report existence of Lorrdhe’s Protectorate. Relations with the Tau Empire are erratic at best, but remain friendly.

841.M39 Part of Imperial Guard Cadian Eighth is relocated to Kar Duniath (Eastern Fringe) in order to “dissuade” the Tau Empire.

843.M39 “Incidents” along borders of Lorrdhe’s Protectorate with relocated Cadian forces.

852.M39 Lorrdhe’s Protectorate declared “hostile area” by Cadian forces; attack on the system only stalled by Inquisitor Lord Lorrdhe’s status.

953.M39 Inquisitor Lorrdhe’s daemonhosts rampage on nearby Imperial agriworld of Vandrij. Inquisitorial cell called in.

966.M39 Increase in frequency of Eldar pirate raids in the eastern half of Mordant Zone.

978.M39 Inquisitorial cell of Grey Knights arrives in Mordant Zone. Investigation begins immediately.

981.M39 Tau explorators set up east of Mordant Zone. Imperial Guard “contests ground;” Lyandi War (after Tau Fire caste commander Shas’el Tash’var Ly’and) ensues. Kar Duniash refuses to commit its own forces; Imperial Guard headquarters sends Colonel-Major von Partrig and his division to deal with the settlers.

998.M39 Inquisitor Lord Lorrdhe found to be a heretic and declared Extremis Diabolus. Local Imperial Guard forces inducted in order to combat this threat. Open war is declared on Lorrdhe’s Protectorate in the name of the Immortal Emperor of Mankind. The Brotherhood Encarmine remains loyal to Lorrdhe. Imperial forces and Grey Knights forced to split their efforts between Lorrdhe’s Protectorate and Tau settlers.

999.M39 Eldar raids disrupt Imperial supply lines and allow forces to remain balanced, both in Lorrdhe’s Protectorate and recently settled Tau colonies. Present time.

Typheron
11-04-2005, 11:33
my only quibble is this:


The Brotherhood Encarmine remains loyal to Lorrdhe. Imperial forces and Grey Knights forced to split their efforts between Lorrdhe’s Protectorate and Tau settlers
the grey knights probably would not waste there time with Tau, there made for killing deamons and the like, not to say there activities would not be slowed due to the lack of support from the IG.

Sojourner
11-04-2005, 11:52
Sweet. Few comments:

- Brothers Encarmine sounds a lot like Angels Encarmine, a Blood Angels successor. Doesn't bother me but you might confuse a few people
- That's one hell of a warp drive malfunction, particularly in the Terran system.
- When the Void Wanderer hits that battleship, the chances of the whole mess then colliding with another ship is extremely slim - ships tend to fight hundreds of thousands of kilometres apart and 'close formation' with a friendly would be something like a thousand k. I'd tweak this considerable amount of destruction, personally.
- Having two battleships and a grand cruiser in the same fleet is an enormous amount of strength, worthy of Abaddon or one of the Daemon Primarchs. Recommend throttling that down a little bit.

And I agree with Typheron over Grey Knights. If you're fighting Tau, suggest Deathwatch, not Grey Knights.