ok before i post this i must let you know this is my first attempt and im rubish at stories as you will most probably see. I want everyone to rip this apart for me and set me straight on any parts that just suck. lol.



INQUISITOR RAMIUS TALAK


Born on the hive world, Cornis Agathon, Ramius was noticed to be a special child for as long as anyone could remember. As a child he was able to round up others and persuade them to do things that they would not normally be interested in doing. Even at such an early age Ramius had a noble feel about about him. His parents weren't anything special. His mother was a typical house wife and his father worked as a handy-man.
In his early teens Ramius, as all kids do, learnt how to fire a weapon and his father taught him the basics of sword fighting. Althought his father was no expert Ramius learnt quickly and it wasnt long before he could easily defeat him. It was also at this age that Ramius started working for his father. He was somehow able to get the jobs that his father couldn't, simply by talking to people, they seems to believe what ever lie he told them without question.
It was about this time that he was noticed by a travelling inquisitor and taken as an apprentice. His father was against the idea of his only son being taken away to fight against people who had never actually bothered them. But something inside Ramius told him that he had to go. Ramius fled his parents house to meet with the wondering inquisitor.
Many years later, after Ramius had left his trainer and was an Inquisitor himself, he was told some news that would shape the rest of his life. His parents had been exacuted in the name of the imperium. He was told that his father was found as a heratic and his mother tried to defend him. Ofcourse Ramius didn't believe a word of this. He just couldn't believe his own father would go against the imperium and set out to prove his beliefs. He became obsessed with the task, holding on at the brink of madness he threw himself into his work. Everything else he was doing was put on hold and he devoted 40 years to trying to show that his father was not a heratic. Unfortunatly he could not. This drove him even further into madness. He was furious and sought revenge at any cost. He blamed himself for going against his fathers wishes and he blamed the powers of chaos. Even though Chaos was not to blame his Imperial training taught him that Chaos was the root of all evil. Therefor to him it makes sense that it had something to do with this.
Ramius has lost trust in the judment of people. He believe that people are too easily led and this will be the downfall of the imperium. He like to work with the week minded. He enjoys being in control of the people in his group and enjoy playing mind games with them.
Now in his old age Ramius has grown bored with life. Searching for a release and an enemy to who can finally put him at the emperors side. He has discarded all his power weapons and armour. Using only basic weapons and protecting only his chest he seeks out the hardest of enemies. If they can not kill him, at least he will be serving the emperor by riding his galaxy of scum.

Stats:

WS 75
BS 69
S 59
T 63
I 71
Wp 82
Sg 73
Nv 86
Ld 89

Right handed

equipment:
sword
staff
dueling pistol

Flak armour - chest

abilities:
Distraction
Enforce will
word of the emperor



any thoughts?? good? bad?? so bad you wanna rip your eyes out? :P
any help with this would be great.
G.:chrome: