War of the Helix Nebula

[Da Reddaneks]

On Thursday of this week, 8 of our local BFG players, are kicking off a map based BFG campaign which will run for a period of 4 months. Here is the prelude.

***
Male Voice, "I.S.N. News. ... The Interstellar Network. The Galaxies most important Network."
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Female Voice, "Good afternoon, I am Cynthia Torqueman broadcasting live from Geneva. Our lead story tonight is on the recent developments in NGC 7293, or more commonly known as, The Helix Nebula.

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The helix nebula has been a hotly contested area of space for some time. This is due to the presence of several stable wormholes which were discovered within the nebula. Over the past few years the Nebula has become vital for commerce.
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Since the discovery of the wormholes, by *human* astronomers mankind has established a presence in the sector to *help* the other races with colonies in the area to be able to more wisely use the regions natural resources. But in recent months unprovoked aggression by alien races has caused the region to become what some might describe as a *precarious* situation. In fact, it was only last month that the ambassador for the Tau had this to say on the subject."

An overweight Tau dressed in extravagant garb appears on the screen speaking in a heavy tau accent,
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“No! No! No! Your proposals are unacceptable! You humans think you have a manifest destiny in this galaxy! you are wrong! This situation is no different than the "Gold Rush" on earths North American continent in your 1850's, or the *oil wars* of the early 21st century or you own *Water Wars* of the 22nd century! Humanity may not simply *move in* and seize these resources! The actions of the Eldar, Ork and even Humanity are clearly in violation of interstellar law!”
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Cynthia Torqueman, “that was the situation merely a month ago. However, today we go live to Senator Neville Chamberland, who is about to announce the results of his negoations with the *alien* inhabitants of the region..”
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Senator Neville Chamberland speaking with a high London Accent, “it is with great pride that the settlement of the Helix Nebula problem, which has now been achieved is, in my view, only the prelude to a larger settlement in which all may find peace. This morning I had another talk with the Ork Chancellor, Gargskum, as well as ambassadors of the other races in the region, and here is the paper which bears his name upon it as well as mine (waves paper to the crowd - receiving loud cheers and "Hear Hears"). Some of you, perhaps, have already heard what it contains but I would just like to read it to you (proceeds to read the agreement). [...] We regard the agreement signed last night and the Helix Naval Agreement, as symbolic of the desire of our peoples never to go to war with one another again.

My good friends, this is the second time in our history that there has come back from NGC 7293 to Terra peace with honour. I believe we have achieved peace for our time! We thank you from the bottom of our hearts. .”

Break away back to Cynthia Torqueman, “For ISN, this is Cynthia Torkman. Good Night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.”

[Da Reddaneks]

Male Voice of ISN announcer: "I.S.N... The Interstellar Network. The Galaxy's Most Important Network."

Male Voice of ‘Good Morning World’ announcer: "Goood Morning World! With you host Veronika Milhailov!"

Veronika Milhailov: "Good Morning World, and I am your host Veronika Milhailov. A little later we are going to tell you about a dog ... who refused to save his family from a house fire. (Laughs) Isn’t that cute, Nicholi?"

(camera pans to announcer who is slightly chuckling): "Dogs are just not what they used to be since the Canine Eugenics War, Veronika."

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Veronika Milhailov: "But first in the news ... The Helix Naval Accords are set to be ratified today at the Mountain Imperial Palace of Chancellor Gargskum on Gargworld. Ambassadors’ of the eight major factions in the area are expected to attend the ceremony. The Accords have been heralded as the, to quote Senator Lincoln, ‘the last best hope for peace in that region of space.’”

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Veronika Milhailov: "While some of the *alien* races have shown reluctance to properly manage the natural resources of the region an agreement for reasonable terms of use have been reached for everyone involved. In fact, Ambassador Tol Nerok, of the Eldar, had this to say on the subject.”

Tol Nerok speaking with a voice lacking emotion and without a hint of elder accent, “We are always pleased to work with our … human allies. The presence of at least 4 stable wormholes in the area make NCG 7293 one of the most valuable properties in known space. I have been given every assurance by my government that we will work with the humans to protect this area of space and that the continual aggressive and terrorist acts by the Tau and Terrain Eugenics will not be allowed to continue.”

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Veronika Milhailov: “Ambassador Nigel Darque of the Black Legion Confederation gave his assurances that …” (looks away distracted) “… just one second … Ladies and Gentlemen we are breaking away for life feed from Cynthia Torqueman who is on Gargworld covering the signing of the Helix Naval Accords… Cynthia, are you there?”

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Cynthia Torqueman speaking in an excited voice obviously trying, albeit unsuccessfully, to remain calm. The sounds of muffled explosions can be heard in the background: “Yes Veronika we are getting you. I am on Gargworld at the Imperial Palace of Chancellor Redd Gargskum! Explosions have rocked the facility and power is flickering! We do not know what has happened buy we have lost contact with over two thirds of the palace! Out the windows the surrounding city is in ruins!”

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Cynthia Torqueman: “What? Can we get a live feed? Do it! It appears that a ship has just appeared out of warp approximately 25 miles directly above the Palace. We can’t make out the ship but it” …

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[Da Reddaneks]

HERE are the latest round of BFG battle reports for our campaign. My orks society is the Sniktopian Despotocracy of Chancellor Gargskum. And I took a big old beating in the first round. My invasion of a human territory was stopped short and a chaos fleet invaded my fringe worlds and totally kicked my butt. I think I suck at BFG, but that never kept a good ork down before!