John wished he had never committed that vandalism aged 16, it had landed him in the penal legion after all.

No one had moved in over a decade.

John felt his sphincter begin to feel pressure as it had so many times before. This time however, he couldn't hold it. The maw gaped wide like the eye of terror and he deposited a hot, meaty mass onto the battlefield floor.

Now to do up his webbing and get back in the fight!