Mini Movie Reviews 2 - The Reviewening

[El_Machinae]

Battleship:

Holy crap it was bad.
Half a star for having a portion of the movie be about sending missiles to "grid E11" "grid F19"

Watch if for free and you *love* movies about extra-terrestrials

[Avian]

Men In Black 3 (2012)
Starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones / Josh Brolin and Jemaine Clement. Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld (who also did the other two).
It has a cool bad guy and actually good 3D (much to my surprise). Everything else is rather meh. It actually reminded me somewhat of Wolverine and Van Helsing in that it has a lot of neat concepts which it fails to do much with. Starting to shoot the movie without having a finished script probably had a lot to do with that.

Verdict: Watchable
(three out of five)


Note that my view of 3-out-of-5 movies is that they are worth watching if you don't have to pay anything much for it, so all right to watch on TV or if a friend rented it. This isn't really worth watchin in normal-D, so it's recommended in the specific instance where someone else pays for your cinema ticket or they have a 3D TV.

[ColShaw]

Machete
Ridiculously over-the-top '70s exploitation-style movie about a hard-as-nails ex-Federale who gets involved in a plot to... oh, heck, the plot's secondary. It's about watching Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez kick the crap out of bad guys.

Completely silly, strangely watchable, extremely bloody and graphic. I had a good time with it.

Verdict? Well, you probably know if you'll like it or not already. And I do give it credit for having the most accurate, least misleading movie trailer ever. It's exactly what you think it's going to be.

[New Cult King]

Machete
Ridiculously over-the-top '70s exploitation-style movie about a hard-as-nails ex-Federale who gets involved in a plot to... oh, heck, the plot's secondary. It's about watching Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez kick the crap out of bad guys.

Can't wait to see this

[sigur]

Oh yes, Machete was tons of fun. There was some unnecessary stuff in there but overall it was lots of fun.

[Terminatorphoenix]

Did Liam Neeson at least shout 'You sunk my battleship'?

[blackcherry]

The line isn't in the film.

[Easy E]

Movie... you FAIL!

[Kiro]

Prometheus

The Alien prequel/tie-in does not fail to disappoint. Fassbender really shines as David. While the film stands on it's own (if you were unaware of the whole Alien connection) and it's more of a sci-fi than a horror, I was pleased to see how many references there were to the Aliens series. There were even answers to some very fundamental mysteries of the saga. The violence is surprisingly gory without being OTT, and the tension is great. Definitely leaves room for a sequel.

Few things I didn't get:

The beginning of the film, while a superb intro, in hindsight left me a little confused: what exactly was happening in the scene?

I felt the nature of the Engineer weapon was never properly elaborated on. Is it just a biological weapon or does it birth "monsters" ala the snake creatures?

When the scientists leave the pyramid, they assume that Fife and Holloway(?) have already left. There are only four scientists left, and they pair up on each of the dune buggy type vehicles, so....who's piloting the ATV that's leading the convoy?

and a few things I didn't like:

Some plot points, I felt were just left to drift and were never resolved or explained:

Why did David infect Dr. Holloway? I would at least have expected a line like 'because I needed to see it tested' etc. Further, why was Holloway in such a hurry to kill himself? He didn't appear to be dying of the infection.

What was with zombie Fife? The black ooze also reanimates dead humans and makes them super strong?

Why did the Engineers want to wipe out humanity? While I suppose the answer to that could be the basis of a sequel, we could have at least had some foreshadowing or clues?

I didn't like the abrupt character change of the captain; in one speech he says he doesn't care about anything, and then he's willing to sacrifice his life, ship, and crew to destroy the Engineer ship?

Potential continuity error: the Engineer helmet doesn't quite match up to the corpse from Alien - going by the redesign, you shouldn't be able to see the wearer's mouth, and you can in Alien.

The birth of the pseudo-xenomorph, while I thought it was a neat headnod to the saga, was pretty much unnecessary.

Some of the things I loved:

The Engineers; brilliant. When I first heard that the old 'Space Jockey' was going to be nothing more than a weird looking spacesuit, I was a little miffed, but they managed to pull of a decent look. The Engineers convey power and menace without having to look gribbly.

The Engineer ship was beautifully rendered, I love the look of it's exterior.

David - going on my list of favourite fictional chracters. Shades of gray all the way, I love the complexity of his character.

All in all, a brilliant film. I say Watch it

The Dictator

Better than Bruno, but not as good as Borat. Some genuine lol moments (when he slaps the hipster), and some that were just cringeworthy (mostly with the body double). Wait till it's out on dvd, then rent it

[de Selby]

Prometheus

This film has an actual Captain Exposition in it and it still doesn't make sense. Spent the trip home trying to work out what the aliens were playing at with the starmap and whatnot and what the black goo actually did. The plot seemed heavily dependent on people doing stuff just for the hell of it and poor Noomi Rapace was doing her best but the bit with

the medical pod and the staples *congratulations! It's a squid!*

was making me laugh by the end.

On the other hand Fassbender was good (reminded me of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_Running in the beginning bits) and I quite liked Theron's character, who was basically just trying to survive the film while surrounded by idiots. At one point Fassbender says

how disappointing it would be if you met your creator and found out he did it 'just because he could'

. Is that the take home message? It is disappointing...


I'll be interested to see where critical opinion goes with this film over time (I avoided reviews and spoilers). On the one hand I had to watch it in 3d and maybe if I watch it again in 2d I won't be so grouchy*. On the other hand a lot of people had expectations and invested in this film and at the moment I'm getting a real Matrix Reloaded (or worse, Planet of the Apes) feeling.

edit: having now read some reviews they seem very mediocre, like mine. So possibly this is an underappreciated-on-release Ridley Scott classic, like Blade Runner. But I don't think so.



*maybe that makes it a 'rent it', I dunno.

[Kiro]

While there were a couple of points I didn't get (see above). I think I got this one:

Spent the trip home trying to work out what the aliens were playing at with the starmap and whatnot and what the black goo actually did.

While the mechanics of the weapon were lost on me, it was explained the Engineers were going to use it to wipe out life on Earth.

At one point Fassbender says

how disappointing it would be if you met your creator and found out he did it 'just because he could'

. Is that the take home message? It is disappointing...

I think that was more an indication of David having his own agenda, he's not quite the loyal robot servant as he says he says "doesn't everyone want their parents to die?"

[Terminatorphoenix]

I didn't like it at all. To me Prometheus felt disappointing and completely unnecessary.

[Kiro]

I didn't like it at all. To me Prometheus felt disappointing and completely unnecessary.

Care to elaborate?

[Terminatorphoenix]

Care to elaborate?

Sure...

• Ancient Alien Origins have been done to death in Science Fiction
• None of the characters were remarkable in any way, and they were all shallow
• Spent too much time on the scenery.
• The logic behind the Xenomorphs Genesis didn't make any sense
• Too many plot holes
• Making the thing at the end 'cute' and blue was stupid
• The script was predictable and derivative

[Kiro]

Sure...

• Ancient Alien Origins have been done to death in Science Fiction
• None of the characters were remarkable in any way, and they were all shallow
• Spent too much time on the scenery.
• The logic behind the Xenomorphs Genesis didn't make any sense
• Too many plot holes
• Making the thing at the end 'cute' and blue was stupid
• The script was predictable and derivative

While an established trope in sci-fi, particularly literature, for years, I wouldn't call it ' done to death' in film, unless there's a whole swathe of sci-pop I've missed in recent years covering the subject.

I hope by 'xenomorph' you literally mean Alien, and not the antagonist from the eponymous film series, because they aren't the same.

How was the ending ' cute and blue'?

I really think it's unfair of you to call the script predictable, I particularly didn't see

David's decapitation happening, let alone his alliance with Dr Shaw

[Terminatorphoenix]

While an established trope in sci-fi, particularly literature, for years, I wouldn't call it ' done to death' in film, unless there's a whole swathe of sci-pop I've missed in recent years covering the subject.

I think you very well must have...

Halo
Fringe
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Battlestar Galactica
Assassins Creed
Mission to Mars
Stargate SG1, Atlantis & Universe
Mass Effect

I hope by 'xenomorph' you literally mean Alien, and not the antagonist from the eponymous film series, because they aren't the same.

No, I mean the antagonist from the eponymous film series, and yes: they are obviously the same. The events of Prometheus directly lead to the birth of the Xenomorph

How was the ending ' cute and blue'?

The baby Xenomorph born from the Engineer's chest at the end certainly was blue, and according to the woman behind me it was '(aww) so cute (I want one!)'

I really think it's unfair of you to call the script predictable, I particularly didn't see

David's decapitation happening, let alone his alliance with Dr Shaw

[/QUOTE]

Really? You really didn't see that coming? Please understand, I'm not trying to insult...it's just every tropetastic genre savvy bone in my body told me that they were going to happen

[Kiro]

[QUOTE=Terminatorphoenix;6252996]



No, I mean the antagonist from the eponymous film series, and yes: they are obviously the same. The events of Prometheus directly lead to the birth of the Xenomorph

Absolutely, positively in no way are they the same species. That's a colossal leap of logic for you to make

Really? You really didn't see that coming? Please understand, I'm not trying to insult...it's just every tropetastic genre savvy bone in my body told me that they were going to happen

Yes, really.

Fassbender was either the most, or second most well-known regular in the cast. If anything, I expected Dr Shaw to take him out with some witty one liner and a lesson in not underestimating human ingenuity

[Arnizipal]

Absolutely, positively in no way are they the same species. That's a colossal leap of logic for you to make

By the looks of it they're just a couple of evolutionary steps away.
The tentacle monster was just a giant face-hugger and the way the xenomorph looked could be explained by the differnce in host creature.

What I didn't understand is why the Engineers were fleeing towards the parasite chambers.

All in all this film wasn't quite what I expected. It wasn't bad but it suffered from the large amount of ideas it had and the lack of time to do something with all of them.

[Kiro]

By the looks of it they're just a couple of evolutionary steps away.
The tentacle monster was just a giant face-hugger and the way the xenomorph looked could be explained by the differnce in host creature.

Good idea, but I'd be more inclined to think of it as design than evolution. The Xenomorphs being bio-weapons and all, I can imagine the Engineers having created them as is.

What I didn't understand is why the Engineers were fleeing towards the parasite chambers.

I know, as I in my initial review, I don't feel this was really answered other than Janek's throw away line of "their weapons turned on them"...which doesn't really tell us much.

[Terminatorphoenix]

Good idea, but I'd be more inclined to think of it as design than evolution. The Xenomorphs being bio-weapons and all, I can imagine the Engineers having created them as is.

I suppose we'll just have to agree to disagree here.

[spoiler]

I know, as I in my initial review, I don't feel this was really answered other than Janek's throw away line of "their weapons turned on them"...which doesn't really tell us much.

I see two differing possibilities here, neither of which I'm particularly happy with:

1. The Engineers were being attacked by another ships bioweapon, and were going to unleash their own as a last ditch attempt at killing the other ships bio-weapon but the Engineer's internal contamination procedures activated prematurely. The older ship's bio-weapon either died because of time or went off in search of more food - never to be seen again.
2. The ship's own experiment got out of hand, but in another section of the ship (perhaps a lab) and the Engineers were running towards the cargo bay (the head room) because it was self contained space, completely safe (or as safe as a room full of genetically engineered monsters can be).