Mini Movie Reviews 2 - The Reviewening

[Hellebore]

I'm expecting to tingle when I see Light Bikes, ooze nerd when I see the Arena and frankly, generally fall in love with the aesthetic and the world once again, just like I did when I was younger.

If I wanted intellectual plot and a thrilling ride, I would not expect to get it from 80's sci-fi .

Then you'll have to censure the film for putting on airs and graces beyond its scope, because they TRY for an intellectual plot, but it just becomes a quasi religious/spiritual parable, akin to what the Matrix films became. Which ruined them for me.

Hellebore

[Easy E]

This disney idea of having to have multiple sources to make a whole film doesn't work for me.

I can't say who pioneered the idea, but it is not just Disney doing this. It si all about the cross-over merchandising to maximize profit baby!

Perhaps our old friend George Lucas was the genesis of this idea, but I can't be sure.

[Killmaimburn]

My bad yeah, lucasarts
late edit
but to my mind this film needs the synergy (of the 2 stories) rather than it being a bonus. Each individual part is not a self contained completed piece.Which is not good(unless you can easily afford and access both parts).

[nagash66]

AVP 2 REQUIEM

Ok i know this film isnt very popular on this forum and i dont like it ether but i watched it again today....the reasons why i choose this film are not important.

However i really got the feel that this could have been a GOOD AVP film IF they dint give in to every chance for a cheap gore porn kill or scene.

I just cant sake the feeling that if they had cut out the love story, not gone for cheap thrills with some of the scenes and instead made this into a human survival ( large group to begin with which get killed off by ether side untill only the lucky and tough remain) and Predator out for revenge with half the movie focusing on the Predators quests to avenge his friend/clan mate/whatever it could have been a half descent film.

They got allot of things right, the Predator in this one was a veteran warrior ( we know this by the markings on his Mask and the fact that he is a older predator who is missing major body parts ), they showcased Predator vision and equipment, they showed the Aliens for the mean lean killing bastards they are and had a descent end movie boss in the form of the predalien.

If they had just followed the consequences of the Predators quest for vengeance and its repercussions it would have been a killer movie. Scences like the Predator giving in to his hatred and just letting lose in the power station were very well done and showed the Predators emotions without it getting stupid, he is there and its personal and he doesn't give 2 **** about anything but his vendetta.
Its the crappy human side story and cheap kills that let this film down on a massive scale.

Verdict: Watch if a fan of Predators or else Burn it with fire.

[sigur]

Mamma Mia (2008)

Don't look at me that way! It's holidays, I wasn't inclined to do much anyway and it was on TV. A friend, who likes to expose herself and me to terrible things once in a while, talked me into it.

The film is a big nothing. Imagine yourself going out for binge drinking with Meryl Streep, the lady-friend of Cybil Shepard from her sitcom (the lifted one with the pointy nose. She looks weird and old but still gets lots of jobs in Hollywood without being a remarkabl actress. That's rather cool.), Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan and something something Skarsgard(?), getting hammered and finding a karaoke bar around three in the morning. What happens then is what Mamma Mia is. Oh, and imagine that you're the designated driver and stone-cold sober while all this happens.

I don't think that anybody would admit to find this amusing and that it would make him or her feel good about themselves. I mean, it always has a sort of basic niceness to it if Meryl Streep is in a film but the dialogue, the story, everything.... I was never sure if I preferred the singing parts because it would stop the terrible dialogue and cackling or the other parts because those had less ....frolicking.

Apologists of this film will say that it's only about the Abba songs and I think that there are some very good pop songs amonst Abba's work BUT it's cheaper, better performed and less embarassing to just get an Abba CD.

The only funny thing is see Pierce Brosnan sing. It's not terrible but it basically sounds like ...well, some guy singing Abba songs.

In the end, I would suggest to NOT WATCH this. No matter if you're a lady or a gentleman. It's just not good.

[Nocculum]

I'm going to buy it anyway, but did anyone catch Pelican Blood during it's limited release who wants to offer a few choice words? Or, for that matter, offer any recommendations on similar films - I'm fairly 'down with it' when it comes to independent British film but things slip by in the deluge of cinema these days!

[Easy E]

Get Carter

The Sly Stallone flick. Interesting to me because Rachel Leigh Cook is a hometown girl! Otherwise, I coudl go without it. One interesting part, the big money guy is trying to impress upon Carter how rich he is and can do anything.

Carter's response, "Do you know who you are **************** with?"

Kind of turned the tables on that one.

Pass


Centurion

Lot's of CGI blood and grue. Overall, kind of there. One good scene involves two guys running from a pack of wolves. It is the punchline of an old joke.

Overall, nothing I hadn't seen before, and I had most of the movie called; but you aren't watching this for originality are you?

Pass

[sigur]

Asterix and the Vikings (2006)

The latest animated Asterix film. I'm not a great fan - which doesn't mean that I don't like Asterix - of Asterix comics (never read them much) but I appreciate the writings and art of the older books as well as the core idea of transporting history and ideas of resistance against overwhelming forces and all that in this form. I just never liked the magic potion idea.

Anyway, the film: As usual, it's based on two volumes of the comic plus some updated stuff as well. The visuals are very nice and look eye pleasing, the Vikings are fun (more so than the gauls actually) and that's it. It's not a boring film but pretty bland actually. Things happen but it's all very predictable and some things are pretty cringeworthy (like a training montage that goes on way too long, featuring an "Eye of the Tiger" cover sung by some tiny, girly voice which probably belongs to the 2006 season's winner of German or French X-Factor). I laughed twice during the whole thing, which isn't too bad. I also laughed a third time just out of sheer surprise when I was confronted with fanservice. Didn't expect that in this film.

For an asterix film, it's not very good. There's nothing bitey about it. Obelix comes across as a genuinely good guy in this one and is a pretty effective character (I always welcome characters acutally helping the story) while Asterix seems pretty bland as he always does in the films, but this time especially. A backwards, cynical old man. Oh, and there's a moment that is VERY reminiscent of the most famous scene from Cave Dwellers.

Don't watch.




Harold & Kumar (2004)

It's basically a stoner comedy/road movie and it all takes place in one night. Sounds terrible? Yup, it sooo does. But after five minutes, this film became funny and didn't stop doing so. I'm not a fan of stoner comedies (is anyone by now?). Most of them feel like you're at a party without knowing anybody and completely sober with everybody else being drunk or on some stuff.

This film is not. It's just silly fun with likable protagonists (an achievement in itself, regarding the genre), good pacing and well-written gags. I don't go on because I don't want to spoil anything (and I only do that when I enjoyed a film ).

It's a very good, light-hearted comedy.

Watch It.

[ColShaw]

Zombieland

Okay, I like zombie movies. I like them a lot. I confess it. So I'm not sure why it took me so long to see this (it probably has something to do with spending a lot of time with my wife, who doesn't like this kind of movie at all). But I watched it streaming via Netflix a couple days ago.

It was pretty good. I loved the intro to the main character, the way his "rules" keep getting referenced, and the interplay between Columbus and Tallahassee. I liked the messed-up family-road-trip dynamic that develops, and some of the sly social commentary reminded me of Romero's good zombie flicks.

But by the end, I just found myself not caring all that much about the outcome. There were some good moments in the ending, but it was anticlimactic to me.

So, on the whole, while it's worth watching, I'd say...

Rent It

[ColShaw]

Minority Report

From ~8 years ago is this sci-fi crime thriller. Watched it last night with my wife and in-laws, and was reminded just how good it is. Cleverly constructed, well-told, and great at making you think about the ethics of new technology. Probably one of my top 5 sci-fi movies of all time (up there with Aliens, Serenity, the original Matrix, and Terminator 2).

Buy It

[Easy E]

The Magic Sword

Hardy- fricken- har. This movie deals with a hero that does mostly nothing to save a girl, gets his friends killed, worry his mother, defeat the villain, and live happily ever after. Plus, it is played for broad laughs.

Honestly, it is not as bad as I just made it sound. The dragon effects at the end are done pretty well, and the movie has some pretty dark moments; such as when the villain and his captives watch soem other pricessess get eaten by the Dragon off-screen.

However, I can't recommend it. Unless you are a huge fanof puppet dragons, useless heroes, or bullet bras.

Pass

Hercules and the Princess of Troy

One of those Italian Hercules movies. Has all the right components, barrel chested and skirt wearing Herc; check, hot blonde princess; check, a monster costume; check, a team of wise-cracking sidekicks; check.

Plus, it is only 47 minutes long, so it doesn't outlive its welcome and get tedious.

Special shout out for the Sea Monster, that can only wrestle with Herc if the guy walks into its grasp. Classy!

Pass

The Secret Of Kells

A strange animated flick from france/Belgium/Ireland about an abbot, his nephew, and an Illuminator. Good stuff. The movie was engaging, the animation was unique, and it was a good time all around.

Rent

[sigur]

Interesting coincidence of having The magic Sword and an italian hercules movie back to back in here as The magic Sword-episode of MST3k was shown between two italian Hercules episodes if I remember correctly. (okay, maybe a little far-fetched but I couldn't help to notice).

[Easy E]

I didn't know it was MST3Ked.

I'm sure they had a field day with the troop of national stereotyped knights, especially the French and Irish guy.

[sigur]

Oh yes. I rewatched the episode after your short review and indeed they had much fun with the french knight. My favorite part of the whole thing surely is Crow's Ode to Estelle. It's a really well done musical piece. The film itself I found pretty unremarkable (the effects were fun though), even with the riffing.

[The Dude]

127 hours - Very well shot film based on the true story of a guy who gets trapped whilst rock climbing and has to do some pretty crazy stuff to survive.

James Franco actually really surprised me here. The last "serious" role I saw him in was Tristan and Isolde, in which he could have successfully been replaced with a mannequin. Here he was much better.

Rent it

[Nocculum]

We're due to see 127 Hours on Tuesday (along with The King's Speech & The Next Three Days) so tell me...is that bit really as bad as they say?

[The Dude]

We're due to see 127 Hours on Tuesday (along with The King's Speech & The Next Three Days) so tell me...is that bit really as bad as they say?

I've seen way worse, but it is a bit prolonged (not unnecessarily though).

[Thanatos_elNyx]

The Next Three Days

Wasn't great, is was slow to start but once it gets going it is nice and suspenseful.
More of a rental than a Cinema movie though.

[TheBigBadWolf]

Scott Pilgrim vs the World.

I found it fairly enjoyable, the randomness of it was good aswell as the numerous video game references.

Guy dates new girl and has to fight her 7 evil exes to continue dating her, each fight is nicely over the top and the the main character keeps the same facial epressions and manner as he is punched through walls etc

Verdict - Buy it

[Kiro]

Centurion

Standard by-the-numbers historical hack and slash. I found the movie didn't have enough eye candy to overcome the historical inaccuracies bound to appear, but the two leading ladies in the movie certainly did stop me from turning it off

That said, the movie wasn't terrible, and some of the violence was actually quite well done (amidst the arcade-style violence). The film gets +1 bonus point for showing a black legionary, a rare historical accuracy....
-1 bonus point for completely screwing up his background info though


Verdict; rent, if there's nothing better. Avoid if you've any particular scruples with historical accuracy