I posted this in a recent thread about orbital bombardment and typed it up.
i guess most people will have read it but i wanted to put it hear for everybody to enjoy!!!
This is NOT my own work!!!
Rocks are NOT ďfreeĒ, citizen.
Firstly, you must manoeuvre the Emperorís naval vessel within reach of the asteroid belt, almost assuredly sustaining damage to the Emperorís shipís paint from micrometeoroids, while expending the Emperorís fuel.
Then the tech priests must inspect the rock in question to ascertain its worthyness to do the Emperorís bidding. Should it pass muster, the Emperorís Servitors must use the Emperorís auto-scrappers and melta-cutters to prepare the potential ordinance for movement. Finally, the tech priests finished, the Emperorís officers may begin manoeuvring the Emperorís warship to abut the asteroid at the prepared face (expending yet more of the Emperorís fuel), and then begin boosting the stone towards the offensive planet.
After a few days of expending a prodigious amount of the Emperorís fuel to accelerate the asteroid into an orbit more fitting to the emperorís desires, the Emperorís ship may then return to the planet via superluminous warp travel and await the arrival of the stone, still weeks (or months) away.
After twiddling away the Emperorís time and eating the Emperorís food in the wasteful pursuit of making sure that the Emperorís enemies do not launch a deflection mission, they may finally watch the ordinance impact on the planet (assuming the Emperorís warship does not need to attempt any last-minute course correction upon the rock, using yet more of the Emperorís fuel).
Given a typical (class Bravo-CVII) system, we have the following:
Two months, O&M, Titan class warship: 4.2 Million Imperials.
Two months, rations, crew of same: 0.2 MI
Two months, Tech Priest pastor: 1.7 MI
Two months, Servitor parish: 0.3 MI
Paint, Titan class warship: 0.9 MI
Dihydrogen peroxide fuel: 0.9 MI
Total: 9.8 MI
Contrasting with the following:
5 warheads, magna-melta: 2.5 MI
One day, O&M, Titan class warship: 0.3 MI
One day, rations, crew of same: 0.0 MI
Dihydrogen peroxide fuel: 0.1 MI
Total: 2.9 MI
Given the same amount with under one third of the cost, the Emperor will have saved a massive amount of His most sacred money and almost a full month of time, during which His warship may be bombarding an entirely different planet.
The Emperor, through this Ė His office of Imperial outlays Ė hereby orders you to attend one (1) week of therapeutic accountancy training/penance. Please report to Areicon IV, Imperial City, Administatum Building CXXI, Room 1456, where you are to sit in the BLUE chair.
For the Emperor,
Purser Level XI,
Imperial Office of Outlays.