The Angels Of Change: Deathsword.

[Dreadknight1994]

hey guys so this is a story about my tzeench chaos marine warband .chapter 1: Primorgis."It has been days months years since we first arrived on the daemon world of primorgis, I am Aekhold Pyrolord Soul Devourer, the dreaded high sorceror of the angels of change" said Aekhold. As he walked around to his chair the light showed his midnight blue power armour and his golden helmet and his golden staff which had a jewel inside it shaped in the symbol of Tzeench. Aekholds baroque armour just like all the warbands armour had horns that looked bat like on it. The room went dark again and Aekhold sighed. it had been 75 years since they had dedicated themselves fully to tzeench and it had been 25 years since tzeench had gifted them with this world. It was a world which was in a constant state of change, from which powerful dark ancient sorcery could be wrought. The leader of the warband Naskra Vileheart kept demanding that he found away to harness the full power of tzeench, but he Aekhold knew that was foolish.

chapter 1 part 2:All of a sudden Aekhold heard the door open and he turned around swiftly. In the doorway stood Askrin dark shard, a powerful member of his coven who was a skilled diviner. Just like his master he had midnight blue armour. He was shorter than Aekhold by about a foot and wore a headdress that resembled one of early mans ancient gods. He bore a mutation just like his master except that his left arm had mutated into a tenticle. He wore a deep purple and gold cloak which covered him from head to toe. "My lord" he said with his voice shaking "Lord Naskra demands you go to his chambers for he is angry." "what angers him Askrin?" said Aekhold with a calm controlled voice. "Well you remember the barrier blocking nasgrald peaks off from us" said Askrin who started shaking from nerves. "Yes i do remember but what has that got to do with me?" said Aekhold who was begining to get annoyed. "Well the cultists h-h-h-have found a way to break through the barrier and they refuse to reveal it" said Askrin.

[Son of Sanguinius]

Interesting premise.

Pros:
- I like the name "Angels of Change". It's simple, but carries a certain gravitas.
- Your names are pretty good. But be careful of using A and K too much unless it's a cultural thing.
- Your descriptions are vivid.

Cons:
- Your format and grammar need a lot of work. Both posts feel like run-on sentences and take effort to read.
- Aekhold seems to be talking to an empty room, which feels weird unless it's in his nature to do so.

[Dreadknight1994]

Aekhold is one of those characters who is really weird. He dosent pay attention to who hes talking to and mainly cares about increasing his power i will take all the comments on bored tho thanks

[Dreadknight1994]

chapter 1 part 3As Askrin left the room Aekhold stood there muttering to himself. "Why does Lord Naskri keep coming to me to do menial tasks like getting info out of the cultists". As Aekhold stood there he could feel his anger at Lord Naskri start to build up. "No" he said to himself. "I must not let my anger get the better of me".After calming himself down he walked out of the door and down the corridor.The corridor of Aekholds tower had no true source of light. As such they was lit by pure witch fire. As Aekhold stared at the wall he could see the daemonic faces and the tortured souls who were trapped inside. This amused him and he then continued to walk down the corridor to a crystal portal.He sighed then stepped through the portal, arriving in the hall of change.As he looked around the hall he noticed that each wall was in a constant flux of change. Then he found what he was looking for, the door to the cultists lair. He allowed himself a short smile, then he walked towards the door.