View Full Version : This is what happens when you insult my car....

02-04-2009, 20:57
Weelllll got this new fella coming in with his "unbeaten" Wood Elves, and he dissed my car! Now I'm not normally one for cars, but I am attached to mine. My general rule of life is when someone says "hey look at my...car/shoes/boat/etc" I just say "That looks great" and let it be.
So when he punked on my car I decided to punk out my list - what do you think:

2250 Points

Thirster - Armour of Khorne, Firestorm Blade, Immortal Fury, Spell Breaker
Herald Khorne - typical jugger, FS Blade, armour khorne
Herald Tzeentch - Power vortex
Herald Nurgle - Level 1 wizard

10 Pink Horrors, standard - with Icon of Sorcery
11 Bloodletters, full command
14 Plauge bearers, full command
7 Furies

5 Seekers, full command, Siren Standard
5 Seekers, Standard, Champion, Siren Standard

3 Fiends
2 Fiends

Basic plan:

Zoom the Thirster, Slaanesh Daemons, Furies forward - pin down archer or fast cav with 2 seeker units, hit hard with fiends/Thrister
Trundle the main infantary units up, zapping with Tzeentch spells along the way

And then hopefully avenge the insults on the car!!!

The list is pretty much set in stone (I'm off to get it asembled and painted, some minor breakages) but I thought I'd share the fun!
By the way, my mainstay army is Night Goblins that don't use fanatics so I'm not a powerplayer - but I had to pull out the cheese stops tonight, and he did say that his Elves are unbeaten and dont fear anyone!

02-04-2009, 21:12
*If the list wasn't set in stone*
You know what might be better?


3 tzeench heralds with power vortex and winged horror

3 units of 10 horrors (even 4 units if you wanted)

2 units of 5 screamers

2 units of flamers.

The plan would be... well... point, click then die.

That would teach him to mess with your car ;)

That or take a thirster, the T heralds, a few units of horrors and the rest flesh hounds (I personally prefer screamers) and flamers, this will seriously mess with his army.

*since it is*
Please please please try getting a slanneshy character in there or something!!!

"your way watchers are setting up there? Ok, I will move so you can see me."
"ok, your turn, I will siren song you into my unit :)"

Put the herald in one of the seekers and jobs a good'un :)

As for the rest of the list, I think the elves will have a LOT of trouble with this... Good going :D may your revenge be sweet!

02-04-2009, 22:02
Know howvyou beat his ubeatable wood elves? Play demons. Any demons. Period.

Kai Itzah
02-04-2009, 22:26
Know howvyou beat his ubeatable wood elves? Play demons. Any demons. Period.

??????? I was under the impression that Wood Elves were the army that has most consistently beat Daemons. So while this would usually apply to most opponents, I don't think it does as much for Wood Elves.

From Shadows
02-04-2009, 22:49
Ok i got to ask what do you drive? ;)

03-04-2009, 02:34
Hahahahaha ^

03-04-2009, 02:44
My money is on a Reliant Robin.

03-04-2009, 02:49
And the one AOE Tzeentch spell.

I loved playing against Tzeentch demons, mainly because the demon player and I would yell "BOOM!" very loud in the store when he casted that spell, killing all of my wood elves.

03-04-2009, 04:53
Nobody insults your '89 Ford Festiva!

03-04-2009, 07:22
The '89 Ford Festiva iposting by Sinnix s GENIUS!!!!

A sad day for the Daemon horde today!! A bitter day when the fiends of the deepest pits of hell are sent scraming back to the realms of Chaos.....

This was my first ever (and I've been playing Warhammer for over a decade!) battle against the wood elves and boy was I in for a suprise.

Firstly we had set the battle field on the outskirts of their home - I was inspired the other day when I was reading the Woodelf army book. Theres a section that describes when the High Elves first encounterd the forest, they lost many of their kin to the dark depths. To keep the darkness back they erected great warding stones to limit the boundaries.

So the battlefield was set with about 3-4 forests on 1 side (Woodelf zone), with 3 standing stones in front of them. The flanks held a forest apiece, with hills and rocks on the other deployment zone (Daemon side). As if there wasn't enough forest the Wood elves deployed another forest just of the centre zone.

I looked at his forces and thought "Wow, they look REALLY fragile! He had 3 units of 20 archers, 1 rank deep, 3 units of wardancers, 1 waywatcher unit, a treeman, a level 4 mage lord, a level 2, and 2 wardancer heros.

His force looked pitful! It looked like a healthy daemon sneeze was going to see the end of their way of life!!!

I deployed the 2 units of fiends, 1 seeker unit on the left flank, with the horrors and herald on a hill behind them.
The centre held the Thrister, Bloodletters, furies, the last unit of seekers.
The flank was held by my 'tar pit' plauge bearers.

He deployed his army across his entire zone, with waywatchers hidden about 8 inches behind rocks on the right flank were the plauge bearers were set.

Here's a brief run down of what happened.....

The elves took the 1st turn, Wardancers srged forward on the left flank, in the centre 2 units sallied forth, while archers moved their 5" towards my lines.
Nothing really happened in the magic phase other than a wood (containing the treeman) moving 1" forward on the left flank towards the Fiends. His shooting phase was terrible - either missing shots or failing to wound, or if he did wound it would bounce of ward/regen saves. In response my 1st turn was glorious - the bloodthirster flew towards a wardancer unit roaring his cries of rage. On the left a unit of seekers and fiends smashed into another wardancer unit, while the furies were just out of charge range on an unit of archers - who FIVE of the 6 furies with stand and shoot! The rest of the forces ran/bounded/slithered to the elvish line apart from the plauger bearers who reformed so to face the Waywatchers. On the left the Slaaneshies smashed the wardancers - who despite having a 4+ wardsave were mowed down. The trimuphant seekers ran down the fleeing elves with glee, rolling their eyes in pleasure with the death crys of the pointy ears.
In the centre the bloodthirster struggled, despite his immortal fury, and miserably failing to wound with his mighty strength! He was even wounded in the counter attack and lost the combat but held - to flee would be doom his daemonic soul to Lord Khorne's black anger.
The Elves then took the 2nd turn by charging the treeman on the left flank into the 2 fiends who had helped defeat the wardancers the previos turn. Oblivious to the danger as they toyed with the fallen and wounded wardancers, the treeman launched a furious attack into their rear - killing 1 and wounding the other. The elf bowman had another miserable shooting/magic phase but held up the bloodthirster for another round, though they lost the combat (The Thirster rightously slew 4 of the dancing freaks this time!).
The most comical combat was when the lone remaining fury charged 20 elf archers - killing 1. In return the elves caused a wound which he SAVED with his ward! Tie combat!!!

***It was at this point my opponent looked at his dice in disgust and put them away - bringing out his shiney green dice cube****

The Daemons looked on in glee in their 2nd turn - bloodletters roared into the wardancers tormenting their lord Thrister, with other elements moving into posistion for turn 3.
However, the bloodletters had so much pent up hatred for their foes that they completly missed all their attacks! Looking on amazement the herald of khorne's concentration lapsed - killing a mere wardancer, losing combat! The new dice cube also started to kick in for the elves, their shooting phase destroyed both seeker units, took a toll on the plaugebearers. Their magic suddenly flared - the very forest itself rousing to fight the daemon infection. A strip of woodland shifted to one side so the unit of archers behind could suddenly draw a bead on unsuspecting daemon units. Branchs whipped daemons in a fenzy of attacks, and their mage was able to cast a spell on the treeman (Who had long since destroyed the 2 fiends) into the rear of 3 more fiends!
The 3rd turn saw even more daemon units being taken out 1 by 1. The blood thrister roared in rage as the sneaky elves kept moving out of charge arcs and shooting their infernal bows. Though blessed with regenaration and ward saves the plauge bearers were reduced to 5 strong, 10 lay festering in crumpled heaps pin cushioned with arrows.
The treeman was an avatar of death - Tzeenth cast his baleful eye on the monstor, hitting him with SEVEN stength SEVEN flaming missles - but sadly only ONE wounded, 6 misses when only a 3 + was requried to kill the beast!!!
The treeman gave pause to thank the spirts before charging into the offending Tzeentch unit, backed by 2 surving wardancers, and destroyed the horrors....

"Horrors are pink, Horrors are blue - were there was ten, now THEY"RE ALL BLOODY DEAD!!!"

By the end of the game only the bloodthirster and 5 plauge bearers remained - but the price of failure was to be cast back to the pits of doom!!!! A SOLID victory for the elves!


All I can say is WOW! A player who knows how to use woodelves effectifly will truly frustrate you! Looking back my overall army list was ok - but in hindsight I'd drop the greater daemon (I don't really like using them so I don't think I'm able to get the best out of them) and just bulk up with LOADS more units. This would put an end to his waywatchers deploying on my flanks. HORDES of scouting nurglings would be excellent choices rather than seekers. A unit of fleshounds would be needed as they have the resistance to survive the arrow storms.
Speaking of which, 4 units of furies rather than 2 will be a big change. His magic, which I considered to be lame before the game, really hurts! Moving a unit into combat during the magic phase is OUCH!!
But it was truly a great game to play, we had lots of laughs at crucial points in the game, and I've learnt to have a GREAT deal of respect for wood elves. However, now I've seen how they play I'll be able to counter their strengh MUCH easier and I'll teach him to respect the Daemons one day!!!!!
Ah the beauty of this hobby! Even if you get your ass kicked you still got to love it!

03-04-2009, 07:42
Wow, that's more than I can say. I break my models and throw my dice if I ever lose or roll bad lol.

Warhammer sure could use alot more players with your kind of attitude. :)

03-04-2009, 07:45
By the way, you did put that HoN in your plaguebearer unit, right? If so, how'd those long-eared paper mario's ever kill them?

Ultimo ninja
03-04-2009, 08:29
yeesh...woode;ves can be asty....next time take flamers...as many as you can, and hounds could be golden as well.

03-04-2009, 11:16
hey now. The archers are only in units of 11. 5 either side the champ. AND AND AND the bloodthirsty won the round it charged, just not by enough!!!!!!! and it took the wounds the round my second unit came for back up.

ALSO, your car is bad, what can I say.

By the way, you did put that HoN in your plaguebearer unit, right? If so, how'd those long-eared paper mario's ever kill them?

Well, the waywatcher hero has a HODA, and apparently... allthough I found this out much later in the game. KILLING BLOW SHOTS MEAN NO REGEN!!!!!!!!!

However, now I've seen how they play I'll be able to counter their strengh MUCH easier and I'll teach him to respect the Daemons one day!!!!!
Ah the beauty of this hobby! Even if you get your ass kicked you still got to love it!

I know for a fact a play a non-typical wood elf army. Sure some of it is generic but I like my slightly odd extra fragile army of many hidden numbers.

Kai Itzah
03-04-2009, 12:35
Alas, you didn't heed my warning! Sorry, I know this doesn't sound nice at all, but I'm ecstatic that the Daemons (not you!) lost. Though, I'm slightly upset that you didn't kick his ****, people who boast about the unbeatableness of their armies deserved to get destroyed. You just chose the wrong army. VC? DE?

W A L 5 H Y
03-04-2009, 16:13
Wood elves are really good. The way the can move the trees to stop you charging and the fact a good player will just out move you and shoot you. Yes it is very fustrating!

03-04-2009, 16:37
I completely agree with SINNIX that fantasy needs much more people like you Jind_singh. Completely about the game and not just winning. Thanks for posting the results of the game, not just the plot. It was well written. I agree with what everyone has written so far in the fact that you CAN kick this guys @ss, just a different selection in army list much like what you had suggested at the end of your post. AND it will happen cause your car is crying for the revenge. Good luck in the future.
And for the love of warhammer, what kind of car do you drive???!!!!

03-04-2009, 17:02
I thought we established that; the lad drives an '89 Festiva. :)

03-04-2009, 18:44
As much as I'd love the '89 Festiva (SiNNiX is genius made mortal flesh for posting the picture!!) I drive a 06 Ford GT Mustang - in my defence it has standard gears, no horrible automatic - and I'm actually from the UK were Ford is decent - not like their north american cousins were Ford stands for Found On the Road Dead - or....Fix Or Repair Daily!!!
And Pip - Your wooden ass is mine! I'm going to cut down your scared trees and use them as TOOTH PICKS to clean my fangs - which will be full of elven flesh!!!!

lol - take care, it's been a fun thread

04-04-2009, 10:09
people who boast about the unbeatableness of their armies deserved to get destroyed.

damnit why am I made out to be the bad guy. The only boasting was car based!!!

I was terrified of the demons since I haven't played a proper game in almost a year and haven't really read the current fantasy edition or my current army book. I mean I had to lose a wardancer and a waywatcher just to make room for the fact that a treeman isn't 250 points anymore!!!!!!!!

luckily I am still able to maneuver with reasonable skill even though skirmishers being march blocked has me a little out of sorts.

04-04-2009, 10:53
Unlucky with your defeat m8, hopefully you will pull back another win for the daemons!

04-04-2009, 18:17
You know, you're not the first person to call me a genius. Much less the millionth! Take care, mate.

04-04-2009, 19:10
Unlucky with your defeat m8, hopefully you will pull back another win for the daemons!

like they need more wins :rolleyes:

Other than that it kinda sucks that you lost

04-04-2009, 19:39
Glad the elf's won, death to the daemons!

04-04-2009, 21:42
So if I insult your car I get to beat you at Warhammer? Hmmm...
Nah, just kidding! That game sounds like good fun, and I'm really impressed by the spirit in which you accept defeat! Better luck next time! ;)

Monsterzonk :skull:

05-04-2009, 08:13
Hello everyone - don't daemonfiy the wood elf! we were having a friendly talk and he mentioned his woodies have a fantastic track record. I know from talking to many people that a true wood elf general who truly knows his tactics is a terrific force to be reckoned with.
It was a great challange to face his well painted and crafted army - looks fantastic on the field of battle.
Secondly he was an awesome general and sport to pit my wits against, I had an amazing battle from which I've learnt some excellent lessons - he out moved me, out guessed my tactics, and gave me a good old fashioned whooping!!! I'm no green rookie myself, and I take pride with my gaming record - this guy did well!
But having said all that the next time we meet on the field of war it'll be another story! Now that I've seen those tree freaks in action I'll make them wish they never ever see another tree for as long as they live!!!!!
Keep your eyes open - I'll be back!!!!!

05-04-2009, 08:54
I'll be waiting, privates-in-hand. :)

05-04-2009, 12:53
Wood elves are really good. The way the can move the trees to stop you charging and the fact a good player will just out move you and shoot you. Yes it is very fustrating!

walshy the last time we battled you did that to me you loved it! you will never no the true frustration of it untill it has happened to you:mad:lol