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Hellebore
06-05-2009, 03:44
Just for a bit of fun. Strange things that could 'conceivably' happen in 40k.

The one that popped into my head just then was two loyal guard armies fighting each other. The Departmento Munitorum sends Army A to fight planet X. Planet X sends out a distress call about invading rebel forces. The Departmento has not yet proliferated the information that Planet X is a traitor planet so Army B drops on top of Army A and kills them to protect Planet X. The shouts of 'For the Emperor' are obviously sick and twisted psychological warfare and not to be trusted.

Or

A multiple personality disorder suffereing Farseer that sends two seperate forces to enact their will, only to discover both personalities are at odds with each other. In fact Personality A saw a future created by Personality B and tried to stop it without realising what caused it.

Any other strange and bizarre events you can think?

Hellebore

Marshal2Crusaders
06-05-2009, 03:53
Leaving for a warzone only to arrive months before the actual emergency happens, due to warp travel. Then persecuting those responsible for their future crimes.


I watch alot of Lost...

Drogmir
06-05-2009, 03:56
time paradoxes cause by magic... *ahem* the warp...

Troops get Psyker distress call go to investigate, get owned, their psyker send out distress call.

Warp messes with everyone.

TIME PARADOX!

MajorWesJanson
06-05-2009, 06:23
Warp time travel is ripe with paradox bait.

Regiment is sent to reinforce a battle that is going poorly. Warp spits them out earlier in time, before the battle, and they reinforce before the attack hits, winning the battle, thus no need for reinforcements, and the regiment is still wherever it was before setting out, as well as on the planet that was attacked. Broken time loop. Either one copy of the regiment will dissappear, or you now have two copiues of the same regiment.

phoenixcrh
06-05-2009, 06:39
The emporer karl franz headbutting abaddon in the nuts while pogo sticking through crafworld ulthwe and listening to 'mating sounds of a gaunt' on his tau ipod :D

Hellebore
06-05-2009, 07:22
The emporer karl franz headbutting abaddon in the nuts while pogo sticking through crafworld ulthwe and listening to 'mating sounds of a gaunt' on his tau ipod :D

Lol you and I have very different definitions of 'conceivable'.:p

Hellebore

Lothlanathorian
06-05-2009, 08:38
This isn't really too bizarre and it is a story that happened, but; I like the one with the Callidus Assassin that was sent to kill a governor and she showed up a hundred or so years late and had to kill an entire senate on a planet.

Also, the Ork story with the Ork that travels back in time and decides to kill himself so he can have two of his favorite gun. They didn't really explain how that one ended lol

Imperialis_Dominatus
06-05-2009, 09:50
This isn't really too bizarre and it is a story that happened, but; I like the one with the Callidus Assassin that was sent to kill a governor and she showed up a hundred or so years late and had to kill an entire senate on a planet.

Venenum, it was a Venenum operative. (Just to give you an indicator of how drunk I am, it took 5 min to post this).

Vaulkhar
06-05-2009, 09:54
And the 'both sides think they're loyal' has happened in BL fiction - the first Last Chancers novel, to be precise. Ok, one side had a 'stealer cult puppeting them, but the line troopers didn't know that.

Brother Siccarius
06-05-2009, 12:23
Leaving for a warzone only to arrive months before the actual emergency happens, due to warp travel. Then persecuting those responsible for their future crimes.


...and ends up causing the rebellion they were sent to quell.

Alternatively, killing your past self.



Also, the Ork story with the Ork that travels back in time and decides to kill himself so he can have two of his favorite gun. They didn't really explain how that one ended lol

Both armies stood around in total confusion.

WastedWhiteBoy
06-05-2009, 15:58
While it uses the same old traveling through time deal, I did think up something that may be kinda neat one time. I imagined a fleet of Iron Warriors traveling into the materium to strike at the Imperium, say during a Black Crusade.

But they are thrown into the future. Very far into the future. In this scenario I went with the nids eating the galaxy spiel. They come out of the warp and realize Cadia is nothing but a barren husk. Working their way through the galaxy (as they head towards Terra) they find that every planet is one dead world after another.

It's kind of depressing, but also kind of interesting, IMO. The idea of a bunch of Iron Warriors trying to piece together what happened to the galaxy, how long they were gone ect.

ten_ninjas
06-05-2009, 16:08
While it uses the same old traveling through time deal, I did think up something that may be kinda neat one time. I imagined a fleet of Iron Warriors traveling into the materium to strike at the Imperium, say during a Black Crusade.

But they are thrown into the future. Very far into the future. In this scenario I went with the nids eating the galaxy spiel. They come out of the warp and realize Cadia is nothing but a barren husk. Working their way through the galaxy (as they head towards Terra) they find that every planet is one dead world after another.

It's kind of depressing, but also kind of interesting, IMO. The idea of a bunch of Iron Warriors trying to piece together what happened to the galaxy, how long they were gone ect.

kind of like a grimdark Red Dwarf, intriguing, i would totally read something like that...

NightrawenII
06-05-2009, 17:51
kind of like a grimdark Red Dwarf, intriguing, i would totally read something like that...

Grimdark Red Dwarf= oxymoron

DapperAnarchist
06-05-2009, 19:34
I think I came across the point that, assuming the the Imperium holds a millions systems (not worlds) and the Orks roughly 2 million, theres still enough space left over for a sort of parallel Warhammer, where travel is either slow or relies on gates, and the various alien races know nothing of what is going on just in the next system.

FarseerMatt
06-05-2009, 22:07
And the 'both sides think they're loyal' has happened in BL fiction - the first Last Chancers novel, to be precise. Ok, one side had a 'stealer cult puppeting them, but the line troopers didn't know that.

It also happened in Grey Knights. Valinov, you magnificent bastard.

Arakanis
06-05-2009, 22:18
I've always liked that sort of twlight zone-esque story where, in this case it would be Space Marines I suppose, receive a garbled distress signal from their brothers and descend to the planet to assist and when they arrive they find their own bodies, and send a distress signal, which is picked up by their past selves.

Or

How about an Ethereal who discovers that the other Ethereals in his expedition have been corrupted by chaos, and leads his Fire Warriors against the rest of the Ethereals purging them. Finally, once he's alone he kneels down before a hacked and mangled effigy of bodies, in the shape of an enormous Lord of Change.

Or

An Eldar Farseer who feels the runes of fate tightening in on her, sensing violence and destruction in the future and woe for her race focused around a relic on distant world, she travels to that planet, at the head of her personal warhost. She finds a relic buried beneath the snow and excavates it.... but once she find it, she realizes it's purpose was to draw her there, to captivate her attention, whilst the Masters of Commoraggh drew their noose about her. She and her band fall, captured mostly, the lucky ones fought to the death... and there she sits, in her prison in the dungeon of a cruel Archon, who torments her, by forcing her to relive her memory of her failure.

Or Finally, a little novellette of mine.

Tech-Adept CM-96##1085 routinely inspects the Titan Legio, "Warpdusters" communications equipment and monitors all broadcasts with the help of a number of servitors. While he's been administering them, the Warpdusters have been on campaigns against the Orkz, Traitors, Tyranids and most recently a two-pronged engagement against Tau and Necrons on a recently discovered Tomb World of vital strategic importance, known as Omegon Ultima.

Several months into the campaign, Mono-task Monitoring Servitor Theta-Prime-Delta attached to the Warlord Titan, Fist of Justice reports a Memory Fault in its system and proceeds to shutdown its main logisters and dump it's datacore. Tech-Adept CM-96 has no time to repair it, and must monitor the Titan communications systems manually during the imminent engagement against approaching Tau forces. However, during the engagement, Tech-Adept CM-96 notices something strange. The communication between the Titan's imprinted intelligences is unusually frequent during the battle, and they are almost constantly broadcasting scrap-code. Not an unusual battle procedure, but unnecessary against Xenos. Furthermore, he observes that the Tau forces seem to be made up by at least 50% Drones.

As he investigates, he discovers that the drones are broadcasting scrap code back. Something that no Xenos has ever done, in his knowledge. After the battle he pours over records from previous battles, finding nothing wrong he pulls up the servitor reports from the last battle. It reports minimal com-chatter between Titans and no scrap code of any kind. Further more, it makes no mention of Tau drone numbers. CM-96 believes that the servitors are omitting information in the reports for some reason. He begins to grow paranoid, believing a traitor to be operating within the Adeptus Mechanicus along side him. He begins to cause Servitors to break and sits in on their stations, recording the strange behavior. To his horror, he discovers that they seem to be acting completely differently to the normal behavior of the Titan personalities and engrams. Even more disturbing, they display this behavior only around the Tau and the Necron forces on the planet. On one of his observation missions, he is approached by the same servitor he damaged earlier to observe that terminal. It appears to be malfunctioning and acting erratically. CM-96 shuts it down and returns it to the servitor bay.

Two days later, he finds Enginseer Rasmus, crushed and mangled between two massive gears in the Warlord's leg assembly. Strangely, every single mechanical augmentation has been removed from his body. CM-96 begins to decypher the machine's code. At first, it seems like normal battlefield chatter, albeit more frequent. He starts to realize something in the code. A pattern. The same from the Titans and servitor maniples as from the Tau drones and the Necron phalanxes.

There comes a knock at his door. "Tech Adept, CM-96##1085! Open this door!" It is the voice of his master and mentor, Enginseer Abraxas Secundus. He ignores the command for a few more moments as he finishes his decyphering. The pattern... it's a regular interval of numerical values decreasing steadily. The last recorded signal was over nine hours ago... and the value then was last recorded at 869. Tech-Adept CM-96 does some quick calculations and becomes excited. "Master! Look what I have discovered!" He rises from his chair and rushes to the door, parchment in hand, covered in his immaculate scribbling and the printout of the data from 9 hours ago. He depresses the door locking stud and it slides open for him. "Master, see here the number in the signal, it reached zero 23 and a half minutes ago, and presumable begin counting up-" He stops. It is not Enginseer Abraxas Secundus there. Inside, it is what is left of him. An opened abdomen, a head, and most importantly a vox-speaker, wired to the enormous servitor holding him. Tech-Adept CM-96 screams and sees no more.

The Imperium loses contact with Omegon Ultima and a task force of Space Marines are sent to investigate... The last transmission is covered up by the Inquisition, and decried as heresy and blasphemy. The last transmission is: "The Machine Spirits! They've turned on us! Emperor sav-"

FarseerMatt
06-05-2009, 22:23
Oooh, if you want a Twilight Zone style mind-screw...

Strange scenario inspired by Sabbad's schitzophrenic farseer: An Eldar who has previously walked the Path of the Warrior, where the addiction of battle almost succeeded in trapping him permanently as an exarch, has pulled back from the brink and rejoined Eldar society. But his alternate warrior self has become so powerful that the normally-stringent mental rites of the Aspect path are insufficient to completely dissociate it from his normal personality. At unpredictable intervals his warrior mind surfaces, overwhelms his true self and goes on murderous rampages across the Craftworld. Effectively comatose during these incidents, the "real" Eldar has no idea. He may even now be on the Path of the Peacekeeper, and as he and his fellows attempt to trace the source of a series of horrific murders, he remains completely unaware that he is in fact hunting himself...

Col. Tartleton
06-05-2009, 23:05
Oh God, its sort of like fight club minus the fight club part...
------------------

I would have an Imperial Guardsman returning home after a campaign against a traitor guard regiment. His regiment fought valorously and were allowed to return home afterward with full honors. He comes back after ten years on the campaign totally drained of spirit, and on the verge of suicide at the things he's seen and done. Playing out flashbacks of him putting his fingers through his best buds eyes while they hacked at each other with their combat knives at the foot of an alter to the eight fold path. He flashes to lighting an orphanage on fire with a promethium tank rather than let the children get captured by a slaaneshi war band. He flashes to being taken prisoner and raped and otherwise tortured by the enemy and only just managing to get away after he pulled himself free of their barbed torture devices leaving him mangled and scarred.

Its a relatively modern world, sort of 1940's era. He is being driven to his house by a PDF sergeant and the man refuses to make eye contact with him. He mumbles a thank you as the sergeant carries his bags to the door of the small house with a white picket fence. He is worrying the worst that its all been a waste and that she'll scream when she sees him and slams the door. He rings the doorbell more afraid of the consequences than anything he's encountered at the hands of delusional cultists. The door opens and he sees the woman he was fighting to stay alive for all those years. She's quite a bit older than he remembers, but the beauty hasn't left her. She embraces him and kisses him for several minutes while the PDF sergeant stands awkwardly. The sergeant places the bags down and wanders away to the car and leaves.

They make love like they never had before and then in the aftermath she asks him what happened to him. He starts shaking uncontrollably and starts to cry. She tries to hug him but he pushes her off, quickly dresses and leaves. He comes back after a few days and she acts as if nothing ever happened. He looks for a job and to his wonder sees a wanted add at his old job. He decides he may as well go to the interview.

When he gets there he isn't recognized at first. He's just another banged up veteran coming home after the ten year war that everyone knows was a victory against great odds. The TV has told them as much. No one wants to ask him anything about it, but they eventually click that its him. Panicking they give him the job and offer him more than the normal pay since he's worked for them before. He tells them he'll take the regular wage like everyone else. They try to talk him out of it but he's resolute that he'll take basic pay.

He returns home to his girl and they continue to live the lie that nothing had happened. A few days later the previous new guy is badgering him a bit about the scars. The lead tells him off, and tells him if he wants to know about how he got the scars he should go enlist in the Guard. The man backs off but the entire office is a bit put off by intensity the outburst.

The man goes through the motions of regular life for a few weeks. Then he stops coming to work. His girl gets some phone calls but she tells them she doesn't know where he is.

The police call later that day and tell her that he's been arrested for attempted murder. She is totally in shock and drives down to the station to see him. When she gets there she is told by the officer that she can't see him. She demands to know why. The officer tells her with a heavy heart that it seems he hung himself rather than let her see him...

Mannimarco
06-05-2009, 23:58
the golden throne fails just as the main tyranid fleet shows up, humanity reaches its full psychic potential however daemons just possess everybody turning pretty much every world with psykers on them into mini daemon worlds, 40k quickly turns into tyranids desperately trying to get the hell out a galaxy full of unstopable monsters that cant be consumed and therefore cant be countered

Marshal2Crusaders
07-05-2009, 02:55
Some of these scenarios don't ft the fluff. Guardsmen don't get to go home after 10 years, its a service for life thing. Machine Spirits are different from intelligence engines and can't be corrupted like that.

TheOverlord
07-05-2009, 05:10
Actually according to the Vostroyan fluff they allow their guardsmen to go back home after 10 years of service (or something to that effect) or they can stay. Most of them choose to stay.

This is based off a BL book, so yeah.

Chaos Titans.

Arakanis
07-05-2009, 05:50
Some of these scenarios don't ft the fluff. Guardsmen don't get to go home after 10 years, its a service for life thing. Machine Spirits are different from intelligence engines and can't be corrupted like that.
My story was meant to suggest that the Machine Spirits of the Imperium and Tau vehicles were being manipulated by the Void Dragon. Which is well within the fluff.

Marshal2Crusaders
07-05-2009, 06:29
Ahh, the void dragon....

And, I didn't know that about the Vostroyans, seems unusual for a force with such a stoic background.

Lockjaw
07-05-2009, 06:58
probably depends on the regiment, some might let you off after 10 years service, some might be for life.

weren't retired IG mentioned on occasion in some of the BL books? can't think of any specific ones, but i'm sure I read it somewhere.


and here's my contribution. and ork becomes the greatest philosophical mind in the galaxy

Hellebore
07-05-2009, 07:03
In a little bit of silliness I thought of turning the death of the squats on its head:

When Hive Fleet Grendel invaded the Core the Squats set about exterminating them with potent weaponry. They soon developed a taste for tyranid and the fleet soon became extinct from over harvesting. Sadly, the tyranids had been eaten into extinction by the squats.

Hellebore

Arakanis
07-05-2009, 07:22
In a little bit of silliness I thought of turning the death of the squats on its head:

When Hive Fleet Grendel invaded the Core the Squats set about exterminating them with potent weaponry. They soon developed a taste for tyranid and the fleet soon became extinct from over harvesting. Sadly, the tyranids had been eaten into extinction by the squats.

Hellebore

Watch out! The squats will eat up your race!

Hellebore
07-05-2009, 07:31
Yeah, the Dark Eldar better watch that the squats don't eat them. Their hardy constitution and long years of consuming tyranids has made them immune to the all the poisons and drugs pumping through the dark eldar.

Spicy eldar drumsticks for the win.

Hellebore

Cultist of Sooty
07-05-2009, 10:40
You know, reinventing the squats as cannibal yokels in the style of Sawney Bean has some appeal.

One that I used as the basis for a Dark Heresy scenario ("Excruciating Guardsman Ryan"), but it would work for a tabletop game with some Inquisitors...

Guardsman Ryan is one of 5 siblings. All four of the others have been discovered as worshippers of the Ruinous Powers. It seems that their cult has a big ritual planned and that Ryan is the most promising lead now that his siblings have unfortunately died while being arrested or interrogated. Unfortunately, his unit is cut off somewhere behind enemy lines on Armageddon.

The Inquisitorial acolytes have to make planetfall under fire, trek through enemy-held territory, track Ryan down and find out what he knows. And the renewed enemy push to take the bridge that his unit is holding just might complicate things, too.

Fixer
07-05-2009, 15:37
The Tyranid hive mind combines the DNA of the Galaxy's most evil animals in order to create the most evil creature of them all.














































IT TURNS OUT IT'S MAN

Mannimarco
07-05-2009, 15:39
futurama FTW!

Rockerfella
07-05-2009, 18:47
Ive got an odd, well nay, bizarre 40k occurance for you:

GW release a series of novels and books, where the space marines get beaten soundly in combat.

How about that? How ODD would that be? I mean... talk of frickin bizarre.

On a slightly more serious note, wouldn't it be odd if Nurgle and Isha actually give birth to Yneead, the true god of the dead! Usurping not only his father papa nurgle (whom I love dearly) but also his twisted half brother, cousin type effort Slaanesh?

Yneead for the win!

Emperor's Grace
07-05-2009, 22:36
The Tyranid hive mind combines the DNA of the Galaxy's most evil animals in order to create the most evil creature of them all.

IT TURNS OUT IT'S "SERPENTOR"


Fixed that for you :D

Daredhnu
07-05-2009, 23:01
Fixed that for you :D

wouldn't it become Starscream in the end though? i'm pretty sure i've never seen a more badass villain ever.

Khornate Fireball (Ork)
08-05-2009, 03:00
and here's my contribution. and ork becomes the greatest philosophical mind in the galaxy

Orkimedes, duh. Or Platork.

Grimbad
08-05-2009, 04:06
Or Konfushuz.
"War not decide who's right. War decide who's left!"

The Ork time travel thing could be even more fun. A large ork empire is attacked by a somewhat smaller Waaagh! that emerges from warp space. After taking heavy casualties but defeating their attackers, they get into their spaceships and order their wierdboyz to find a route through the warp that leads to the origin of the Waaagh. The wierdboyz do, and the new Waaagh! emerges from the warp inside an ork empire, and they attack without thinking to avenge their dead pals. The defenders fight back. The 'second' waaagh doesn't realize it has gone back in time and are killing the comrades they are trying to avenge, and the ork empire doesn't realize that they are killing their future selves. And it repeats.

Emperor's Grace
08-05-2009, 17:14
wouldn't it become Starscream in the end though? i'm pretty sure i've never seen a more badass villain ever.

Nah, Serpentor was created by combining the genes of histories most evil leaders. That's why the joke works (IMHO).

Starscream on the other hand just whined alot, IIRC. Oh, he took attacks of opportunity and manipulated things but somehow he always ended up running for his life when Megatron recovered.

Daredhnu
08-05-2009, 17:45
Nah, Serpentor was created by combining the genes of histories most evil leaders. That's why the joke works (IMHO).

Starscream on the other hand just whined alot, IIRC. Oh, he took attacks of opportunity and manipulated things but somehow he always ended up running for his life when Megatron recovered.

true that but he always managed to influence megatron to such an extend that he would let him back in his inner circle.
(atleast until he betrayed him for like the 20th time which got him killed and he returned as a ghost, gotta admit he's pretty dedicated.)

but okay i didn't know that about Serpentor, so i will concede the point to you :D

Cythus
08-05-2009, 17:46
loved the story about the machine spirits

My humble suggestion is that an eldar farsight relies that to save a much larger group of eldar he must ambush and kill a small eldar warband. (obviously not on his own) He does so but a few weeks later looks at the strands of fate again and discover that a large groups of eldar must be killed or his craftworld dies. He kills that and it continues with larger and larger groups dying however, at the same time another farseer gets suspicious and starts following him.
The first farseer then comes to the revelation that he must kill his craftworld or daemons take over the entire galaxy. However the second farseer is closing down on him and jsut as he start his attack on the craftworld the second farseer ambushes and kills him. However, in a twist of fate the first farseer WASNT manipulated by choas and the second farseer realises that the craftworld really must die


OK, maybe not a craftworld but still

Emperor's Grace
08-05-2009, 22:15
true that but he always managed to influence megatron to such an extend that he would let him back in his inner circle.
(atleast until he betrayed him for like the 20th time which got him killed and he returned as a ghost, gotta admit he's pretty dedicated.)

Or insane (which he definitely was). Isn't the definition of insanity repeating the same actions but expecting different results? :D

Easy E
08-05-2009, 22:45
time paradoxes cause by magic... *ahem* the warp...

Troops get Psyker distress call go to investigate, get owned, their psyker send out distress call.

Warp messes with everyone.

TIME PARADOX!

Do not read Desert Raiders!

Cheitan Shadowless
08-05-2009, 23:14
Leaving for a warzone only to arrive months before the actual emergency happens, due to warp travel. Then persecuting those responsible for their future crimes.


I watch alot of Lost...

Lost, schmost. Persecution for crimes you haven't yet committed was covered in The Minority Report nearly half a century before Lost. Precrime is where it's at, baby. :p

WrYpoRrY
09-05-2009, 00:14
A Warband of orks led by a psyker ork who has seen the past, present and future of the ork race and has led his warband to negotiate with the Tau. The warboss wants to negotiate a treaty/truce etc. between races for The Greater Good. The orks want well reasoned debate, but the Tau decide the best strategy is to utilise More Dakka to get peace.

Marshal2Crusaders
09-05-2009, 00:15
Things that could actually happen.

Vaulkhar
09-05-2009, 00:50
One I thought about turning into a short was as follows (although it's not so much bizarre as just bleakly ironic):

Chaos invade an Imperial world, causing an Inquisitor to sign and send an Exterminatus order before he's messily butchered. The local PDF are resisting but it looks like they're going to be dead fairly quickly.

Fast forward four years and an Imperial fleet enters the system as both sides in the civil war prepare for the final assault on the final strongpoint. The fleet disregards all transmissions from the planet (tainted beyond recovery, as evidenced by the Exterminatus order).

Cut to the planet and a PDF trooper preparing for the final day of the war to reclaim his homeland from the archenemy - and also a chaos cultist looking out over the battlefield and wondering why the gods have deserted him.

Yep, that's right - in the four years since the Exterminatus order was sent, the PDF have turned things around...and the bombs rain down just as our heroic trooper kills the last cultist in the last stronghold on the planet.

Vote Kantor
09-05-2009, 01:30
Only in Death: god that book was freaky.

With the guy reciving vox data of his own voice screaming for help, and the baskyrville guy dying in transit, but still arriving and helping out. the book would have been awesome if it wasnt for the ending.

Warforger
09-05-2009, 06:03
The Emperor acheiving Daemonhood.

Paganite
09-05-2009, 13:01
A tyranid hivefleet, consumes a black ship full of psychics.

One of the psychics is a great believer in the ultimate evolution and loves gardening.

Hivefleet is affected by this powerful psycher, and instead of scouring life off planets, turns every planet they land on into a death world teeming with dangerous life in an attempt to create ever more advanced evolved life that can survive anything.

Hivefleet Greenthumb : )

Vote Kantor
09-05-2009, 13:05
hivefleet greenthumb : )

kill it, kill it, kill it with fire!!!:p

Sonny Liston
09-05-2009, 22:33
Col. Tartleton I didn't understand what your story meant. It's probably obvious but I honestly for the life of me don't understand what happened...

WrYpoRrY
10-05-2009, 09:14
Better yet, the Emperor achieving Daemonhood, than kicking all the Chaos God's darkly malevolent backsides and becoming the Ultimate Chaos God.

Col. Tartleton
10-05-2009, 15:08
There is no point. Its just mindless corrosion of a person on the edge of sanity suffering from way more then post traumatic stress. Its pretty much just bullets of a story of a guardsman that might be interesting to read.

He goes away to war, he suffers through unbelievable horrors, he is still considered pure by the military (sanity has nothing to do with purity) and allowed to come home. Then when he gets home he's surprised that nothing has changed, and then tries to fit back into normal life. A few weeks later he's dead of suicide in a prison cell after kill three random people on the street.

Its... something that would happen. A lot. Which is probably why most regiments don't allow you to come home, though some do after the ten years.

Hellebore
10-05-2009, 16:12
There is right of conquest as well.

Perhaps that's to let the agression out of the regiments? The first settlers are all soldiers that kill of the local traitors or wildlife. Their children are brought up as slightly less wild and violent with a semi safe environment, and their children are brought up in a more secure environment and so on.

Basically they let the regiment take a planet and BREED the agression out of them through the generations until they recruit from them to start it all over again. So in the meantime between becoming recruited and actually conquering a world they are forced to fight.

Hellebore

Vaulkhar
10-05-2009, 17:23
Hellebore - perhaps just as importantly, right of conquest guarantees (a) a tightly disciplined band of colonists and (b) that they were hard enough to handle just about anything that world could throw at them.

Ropersteel
11-05-2009, 01:08
The Emperor acheiving Daemonhood.

I do believe chaosgodhood would be more appropriate, unless of course you think he wants to run with some daemonettes after all thos years of thronement :p

Marshal2Crusaders
12-05-2009, 07:17
Sebastian Thor was actually an Inquisitor who emerged above Dimmamar after a Warp storm during the Age of Apostasy. He lands and and speaks tot he locals and slowly puts together the pieces, eventually realizing what he must do.

Hellebore
12-05-2009, 07:24
I think too many people are relying on the warp to create the bizarre scenarios. Remember how well that worked out for Star Trek...

Hellebore

Adra
12-05-2009, 07:48
A space marine commander beats his second in command in the table top strategy game "Games Workshop Staffer: Sell or Die"

His painting skills are really good...

Marshal2Crusaders
12-05-2009, 09:36
I think too many people are relying on the warp to create the bizarre scenarios. Remember how well that worked out for Star Trek...

Hellebore

Very well, that movie was awesome. Space Fights, Zoe Saldana (sp?), Space Elves, Eomer, Charlie Bartlett, Sylar, and Harold kicking butt across the galaxy. Best one so far. Terminator's is next.

Ah, a resurgence of the Iron Men, bizarre?!?!!?

Ynek
12-05-2009, 09:59
Bizzare scenarios?
The Emperor farts whilst on the Golden throne and the Adeptus Custodes **** themselves laughing until the smell hits them, at which point they realise that after eating souls for ten thousand years, a guy's fart can be pretty god-awful. They decide to invest in a cork.
Meanwhile, news of the God-Emperor's divine flatulence spread through the Imperium, and a new imperial sect arises calling itself "the order of the divine guff." The OOTDG demands that its followers eat lots of beans so that they may guff divinely, as the Emperor had demonstrated.
Thousands of worlds soon have an atmosphere that is rich in methane, and when that atmosphere reached explosive mixture, all it would take is one gunshot, one match or lighter to blow them up. Hundreds of worlds are lost.

Tzeench rubs his beaked chin and cackles "Just as I planned." The Deciever shows up moments later and insists that this was all according to his plan, and that Tzeench is just trying to steal his thunder. They have a brief slap-fight.

NightrawenII
13-05-2009, 13:07
Some Lord of Change is ordered by Tzeentch(in fact Cegorach in disguise) to possess Cardinal and launch assault against world of Todberg(Tomb world full of Necrons). When he plan a attack his second in command(Deceiver in disguise) show him a false map where the location of Todberg is exchanged with planet in hold of Chaos Marines. So the Fleet are given wrong coordinates, but Changeling(in disguise of Admiral) repair this little mistake, so the Fleet head the right way. But Tzeentch aware of Deceiver plot change the roadsigns in the Warp, so they travel in the wrong direction again. When the Fleet break from the Warp, they encounter the Chaos Marines mentioned above, but they are in disguise of the loyalist blue marines with their Primarch in disguise of the most Awesome Chapter Master(which is easy for Primarch). With these new allies, they attack the right planet, ie. Tomb World full of Necrons. The war is bloody and take several months, before Imperium wins.
Meanwhile the Harlequins in disguise of Bluemarines infiltrate their base (ie. Fortress-Monastery of Bluemarines not the Black Library) and stole very important artifact holded there. But Tzeentch in disguise stole this artifact from them. But when he get back to his lair in Warp he is all WTF, because Deceiver(in disguise of course) exchanged this artifact for the fake. And Deceiver is also all WTF, because he have fake as well, because Tzeentch stole this artifact in disguise of most powerfull psyker hundred years before and forget about it(This plans in the plans of the plans thing is pretty brain-hurting, ya'know.).

So WTF:wtf: Who have the Artifact? Answer:
The Little girl with dog from the codex: deamons and this pair is Gork&Mork in disguise.

Condottiere
13-05-2009, 13:21
An Ultramarine cruisers exits the Warp after an intense storm and finds a disabled Imperial warship of an elderly design broadcasting for help, as their main engines gave out.

They dock and are greeted by a Primarch, who thanks them in the Emperor's name. He calls himself Horus.

Marshal2Crusaders
14-05-2009, 09:10
Now that would be bizarre.

Daredhnu
14-05-2009, 19:08
especially since if marneus was on board he'd falcon punch horus into oblivion and in doing so saved the emperor and all of the imperium.

sorry had to be said.

Mannimarco
14-05-2009, 19:11
but then we have a twilight zone moment: what would the 40k universe be like should horus have been killed like that?

Wolfblade670
16-05-2009, 17:00
Marneus Calgar would become Warmaster (because he is UbEr L33T), become possesed by his Demon-Weapon Power Fists of Pwnage, and betray the Emperor. The Ultramarines, paradigms of Humanity, would fall to Chaos and destroy half of the Imperium. :p

Condottiere
16-05-2009, 17:54
Twilight Zone? Horus gets killed, either accidentally or deliberately, and the Marine commander takes his place, rather like the Elvis episode where the impersonator then duplicates everything in the history books.

Arakanis
17-05-2009, 00:58
Twilight Zone nothing, that's exactly what happened. Marneus is so uberleets he can pretend to be Horus and no one notices.

Gerrok
17-05-2009, 01:16
How about a fleet of ork rocks fly into the eye of terror because "dats where all dem marine boyz is hiding."

Gutlord Grom
17-05-2009, 02:54
An Eldar Farseer meets the Tralfalmadorians from Slaughterhouse Five and gets driven insane by the possibility that all decisions he will ever make have been made, and that he will always make the same choices, meaning he influences nothing.

Skyrir
17-05-2009, 03:38
How about a fleet of ork rocks fly into the eye of terror because "dats where all dem marine boyz is hiding."


Matter o fact an ork boss named Tuska did just this, but was after demons, not CSM. He is now slaughtered by a demon prince called The Prince of Blood everday only to rise again the next day and fight anew.

It's in the codex.

ARVO
17-05-2009, 03:46
Is there a fantasy versain of this thread?

Arakanis
17-05-2009, 04:30
An Eldar Farseer meets the Tralfalmadorians from Slaughterhouse Five and gets driven insane by the possibility that all decisions he will ever make have been made, and that he will always make the same choices, meaning he influences nothing.

Gutlord Grom visits an Eldar Farseer and finds out that the Farseers already know that's how it works and they don't mind one bit. ;)

Condottiere
17-05-2009, 05:00
Matter o fact an ork boss named Tuska did just this, but was after demons, not CSM. He is now slaughtered by a demon prince called The Prince of Blood everday only to rise again the next day and fight anew.

It's in the codex.Must be Ork Nirvana.

Gutlord Grom
17-05-2009, 06:26
Gutlord Grom visits an Eldar Farseer and finds out that the Farseers already know that's how it works and they don't mind one bit. ;)

That's one way of looking at it.

Kiras of the flame
17-05-2009, 10:54
This actually happened in a game...

We threw a vortex Grenade at a building... And the building collapsed... And Everyone was ok... Even the one's at the bottom... Also the Grenade collapsed on itself...

Only way to explain it... Giant Daemon hand appeared and took the building, Shook off the inhabitants inside and threw the building away...

This only happended because the redshirts made it so...