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a squig
19-10-2009, 10:26
i never used to understand when people said that gamers smelled, but a new guy has started comming into the local store and club.

Well hes a nice guy and keen to learn and any new player should be encoured when ever possible, but he makes the whole store stink as though hes gone to the loo it can almost bring tears to eyes at time.

This has been mentioned to him by staff members and some rather blunt hints by other locals on numerous occasions, but he dosnt seem to take note of what is said. But People dont want to go to far becuase he seems very shy and unsure of himself, and his parents sit at the back of the store kniting and watching whats happening.

Any suggestions we dont want to be mean and alienate the guy but its putting people of the store and gaming when hes around. He also looks hurt when no one wants to play him.

Deamon-forge
19-10-2009, 10:34
how old is he?

with this remark

and his parents sit at the back of the store kniting and watching whats happening.
sure its not them who smell lol.

think they only thing really to do is just keep hinting or if a store owner go to the parents and sort of hint. its a hard thing as you want him there to be a new gamer but you dont want to hurt him.
also keep a can of air fresner handy. or have a new rule that every one in the store has to be sprayed with linx lol befor they can enter.

scarletsquig
19-10-2009, 10:35
Just tell him politely that he should wear deodorant because if he doesn't, he really smells and other people don't like it. If you buy him a can of deodorant and give it to him (in a bag for discretion) at the same time that might help him deal with the news a bit better.

No point messing around with issues like this, it'll be for his own good in the long run even if some offense is caused.. worst case scenario is that his parents skewer you with knitting needles but I'm sure that's unlikely to happen. :P

Much more polite than dropping snidey "hints" and jokes about how much he stinks all the time without being nice enough to actually inform him. Odds are that it's not his fault and that it's his parents that have been anti-social enough to not realise that deodorant is not optional in modern life... so he's never been bought the stuff.

I always pity kids born to hippies, they never grow up with a sense of hygiene because the deodorant aerosols, like, harm the planet, dude.. along with all other toiletries that don't look and smell like mud.

Last year one of my housemates wanted a smelly friend to stay over for a week. I told him he'd have to shower if he wanted to stay. And this guy was massive, hairy, 6' 2", easily capable of punching my lights out etc. so I'm sure if I can tell someone like that to scrub up with no hassle then it shouldn't be a problem for you.

You can't expect the staff to do it, they're not allowed to insult customers, it's gonna have to be one of you guys.

Yodhrin
19-10-2009, 12:12
Indeed squiggy, direct yet polite is the way to go, it often turns out to be something innocuous. For example, a store I used to work in suffered every week at peak trading on a Saturday when a youngish guy came in and stank the place up. After three weeks running, we took him aside and spoke to him, it turned out he was coming to the store straight from his school rugby practice, so in future he went home for a shower first, problem solved.

If the young gent is shy as you say, it's possible he doesn't interact socially very much, and it's entirely possible he doesn't notice that he smells(you become used to your own body odour over time).

a squig
19-10-2009, 13:52
how old is he?

with this remark

sure its not them who smell lol.
.

Hes 19 i think,

well yes they do but not as much and they tend to sit away from where we are gaming

i think the fact that hes seen wearing the same clothes for almost a week straight may not help.



If the young gent is shy as you say, it's possible he doesn't interact socially very much, and it's entirely possible he doesn't notice that he smells(you become used to your own body odour over time).

yes i think that this is very much the case.


Just tell him politely that he should wear deodorant because if he doesn't, he really smells and other people don't like it. If you buy him a can of deodorant and give it to him (in a bag for discretion) at the same time that might help him deal with the news a bit better.

No point messing around with issues like this, it'll be for his own good in the long run even if some offense is caused.. worst case scenario is that his parents skewer you with knitting needles but I'm sure that's unlikely to happen. :P

Much more polite than dropping snidey "hints" and jokes about how much he stinks all the time without being nice enough to actually inform him. Odds are that it's not his fault and that it's his parents that have been anti-social enough to not realise that deodorant is not optional in modern life... so he's never been bought the stuff.

I always pity kids born to hippies, they never grow up with a sense of hygiene because the deodorant aerosols, like, harm the planet, dude.. along with all other toiletries that don't look and smell like mud.

Last year one of my housemates wanted a smelly friend to stay over for a week. I told him he'd have to shower if he wanted to stay. And this guy was massive, hairy, 6' 2", easily capable of punching my lights out etc. so I'm sure if I can tell someone like that to scrub up with no hassle then it shouldn't be a problem for you.

You can't expect the staff to do it, they're not allowed to insult customers, it's gonna have to be one of you guys.


Iam relutant to give the guy a can of deorant becuase i saw this done to a kid before the humilation for this kid was realy realy harsh.

i dont like being the "Bad Guy" seeing as i was one of the one who encourage the guy to keep playing and and invited the guy to the local club, but i may just do it quitley one game night. Iam not scared to tell the guy cos iam the much bigger guy but as was said ealier with limited soical interaction iam not sure he will take it well.


anyways thanks for the advice

scarletsquig
19-10-2009, 14:06
Iam relutant to give the guy a can of deorant becuase i saw this done to a kid before the humilation for this kid was realy realy harsh.
Well of course it would be if you (and I presume a bunch of other people) were there to witness it.

Which is why the discretion side of things is important, if you get the chance to have a word with him when he's on his own, that would be the best way to go about it. Do it in front of a bunch of people and he'll see it as you trying to make him look bad in front of everyone.

theunwantedbeing
19-10-2009, 14:10
i think the fact that hes seen wearing the same clothes for almost a week straight may not help.

I'de avoid reading into that too much if I were you.

Just get the staff of your store to talk to the guys parents and ask them to get him some deoderant as some of the other people in the store have noticed his smell.

If they dont do anything, get the staff to talk to the guy in person, or catch him on the way into/out of the store to tell him he smells where he wont be publicially humiliated infront of everyone.
Also, you (or whoever tells him) wont be seen to be doing this and so wont be seen as the bad guy.

The worst thing you can do is tell him in the middle of the store when you've got everyones attention.

DDogwood
19-10-2009, 14:17
You should just carry on with the blunt "hints" and stuff, because that will really help everyone in the long run. When everyone stops showing up to the game store because they can't stand being around Mr. Stinky, then you'll have way more space to play, at least until the store shuts down from a lack of customers. Mr. Stinky will be really glad that nobody told him how bad he smells when he dies an old and lonely man who has no friends because nobody could stand the smell long enough to get to know him. He'd thank you if he knew how you'd spared him a little short-term embarrassment.


Or you could just take him aside, quietly and discreetly, and tell him what you told us. "Buddy, you're a good guy, but you have a BO problem. Your parents do to, so you probably don't realize how bad it is. I'm only telling you this because you're my friend and a stand-up guy. But you need to start showering every day, and don't wear the same clothes more than once between washings. The chicks will dig it, yo."

Fenrir
19-10-2009, 14:27
Just tell him he's a stinkard, and needs to cut the apron strings.

He's 19, and still accompanied by his parents?

a squig
19-10-2009, 14:45
Just tell him he's a stinkard, and needs to cut the apron strings.

He's 19, and still accompanied by his parents?

yeah he is




Or you could just take him aside, quietly and discreetly, and tell him what you told us. "Buddy, you're a good guy, but you have a BO problem. Your parents do to, so you probably don't realize how bad it is. I'm only telling you this because you're my friend and a stand-up guy. But you need to start showering every day, and don't wear the same clothes more than once between washings. The chicks will dig it, yo."

thats what iam going to do but i think i will leave out the added bit about his parents when tell him, his dad looks quite scary at times.


Well of course it would be if you (and I presume a bunch of other people) were there to witness it.
.

there was a few other people around yeah so that didnt help.

The main problem is trying to get him on his own he tends to hang around whatever group appears randomly repeating the last sentance someones says to "join" in or he stands with his parents.

I will have to catch him sometime between the two to address the situation.

SharpSilver
19-10-2009, 15:48
Have the exactly the same problem in my local, not helped by the fact their is no internal Air Con and it's on the upper-tier inside a shopping centre, therefore heat rising and it being a bit too warm (for what you would expect in the UK) at this time of year, means that the Kids and Younger-teens running about that are not that conscious about their hygiene or haven't discovered Anti-Perspirant/Deodorant give of some terrible odour, although this is not that often.

blongbling
19-10-2009, 16:06
I once had a team mate who had member of staff that didn't wash his hair and it was all greasy, smelly and lank and the team leader wasn't really dealing with it. I had enough, went and bought him shampoo, put it on his desk and told him that he needed to use this every day. He started to use the shampoo, until it ran out and he stopped again :( The moral of the story is that someone needs to tell him as he may not realise...worked for me and it had nothing to do with me being a 6"2 17 stone skinhead :)

Deamon-forge
19-10-2009, 17:08
with this remark


Originally Posted by Fenrir
Just tell him he's a stinkard, and needs to cut the apron strings.

He's 19, and still accompanied by his parents?
yeah he is

not to be rude or any thing to any one but is he all there? in that means has he got learning disability? (sp) thats the only resion i can think of why his parents are there?

Llew
19-10-2009, 17:40
It sounds like he may be autistic perhaps. (The repetition thing makes me think that.) In that case, you'll have to work with the parents. (I'm not saying that he's incapable of understanding you, but they're probably much more aware of how to work out a behavioral change.)

Be discreet and delicate. Stress that he's welcome in the group, but there are certain baseline behaviors regarding hygeine that will make him more welcome.

pookie
19-10-2009, 17:56
with this remark



not to be rude or any thing to any one but is he all there? in that means has he got learning disability? (sp) thats the only resion i can think of why his parents are there?

this is my thoughst too Daemon Forge, you also may need to take into account that there could well be a medical problem ( colostmy bag?) because form what you decribe A squig, this is more than a BO problem?

personally its upto the staff to sort out, after all you should not be placed in a position to be dealing with this, the manager certainly should, although i doubt they know how to.

spetswalshe
19-10-2009, 18:10
It takes serious stones to go and play in a place where you don't really know anyone - and probably even more to go and play in a place where you don't really know anyone and your parents insist on coming along.

Be discreet, do it one-to-one, don't mention people talking about it - hopefully he's been blissfully unaware of the 'blunt' comments your companions have made - and, most importantly, once you've said it, don't mention it again that evening - just be friendly and ignore the problem. Next time he comes in, if he's still malodourous, ask how he's gotten on with what you were talking about the time before.

If the staff members have already explained it to him, and he's understood, there's little more you can do.

Deamon-forge
19-10-2009, 19:30
this is my thoughst too Daemon Forge, you also may need to take into account that there could well be a medical problem ( colostmy bag?) because form what you decribe A squig, this is more than a BO problem?

this is a good point, i did not think of that. i work with Adults with learning disability 18year + so iv got a under standing of how they work been working with then since i was 17 and im now 23. if he has got learning disability then it mite be a little hard to get the message through with out making him fell hurt and dont want to come back. or he mite just tear your head of and stuff it were the sun dont shine (the quite ones are the ones who will tear you apart iv had a few bruses from this lol) but true if that dont work then maybe a little word with the mum etc.

Jedi152
19-10-2009, 19:33
Ah, the old chestnut. How to tell someone they have a body/breath odour problem! :D

Just wait until you go to a grand tournament at Warhammer World.

The air takes on a certain funk.

Deamon-forge
19-10-2009, 19:38
Ah, the old chestnut. How to tell someone they have a body/breath odour problem! :D

Just wait until you go to a grand tournament at Warhammer World.

The air takes on a certain funk.

i think the air smell funky in any GW store or even WHW. wounder why mine has a fan on in the middel of the store aiming at the doors? hmm

starlight
19-10-2009, 19:55
As someone mentioned, the heat is going to be on more with the cooler weather.

Perhaps it's time for a sign to go up reminding gamers of that fact and that it's more important than ever to make sure they're clean and fresh for gaming sessions...?

As far as this specific case... This:


It takes serious stones to go and play in a place where you don't really know anyone - and probably even more to go and play in a place where you don't really know anyone and your parents insist on coming along.

Be discreet, do it one-to-one, don't mention people talking about it - hopefully he's been blissfully unaware of the 'blunt' comments your companions have made - and, most importantly, once you've said it, don't mention it again that evening - just be friendly and ignore the problem. Next time he comes in, if he's still malodourous, ask how he's gotten on with what you were talking about the time before.

If the staff members have already explained it to him, and he's understood, there's little more you can do.

It's sad to hear all the harsh and ignorant comments on this Thread about how to deal with people with different backgrounds and levels of understanding... :( I can only hope that the people around you are more considerate and understanding when dealing with your shortcomings...:eyebrows:

Wintermute
19-10-2009, 20:00
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Wintermute