View Full Version : Tales from the Tool Room

20-05-2005, 22:03
In addition to my movie theatre job, I also work about 15 hours a week at my college in the autoshop tool room. I get to check out tools to the students, and make sure everything works, is clean, accurate, etc.

Well, at the time I work I primarily have to deal with are the ROP and Auto 50 students, the high schoolers and the beginning auto learners. The 50 series classes are for the complete numbnut, anyone could take them and pass. Anyone.....except for these idiots.

I've lost count of every time some freak comes up and asks me in broken engrish for a 'rench.' We sign the tools out on a check list, and thats a common spelling. So's Tork Rench, soket, and some times they abreviate things. Like writing 'mag' instead of flex-handle magnet. Or socket instead of '13/16" 3/8 drive socket"

Some bright and shining examples of automotive tomfoolery.

One idiot came up, asked for a wrench. He just didnt catch on as fast as the others usually do, so its exceptional. Here's how the convo went.

"I need wrench."

Me- Yeah, what size?

"The guide say i need wrench."

Yeah, what size?

"See it say I need one."


"Is for niney two Acura Integra."


"For oil pan?"


Then I had a guy bring up half a cotter pin. For like, a castle nut for a rear brake drum or something. Half a cotter pin. Picture it, yes? He hands it to me, I look at it, and he says "I'd like a socket to fit that."


A socket? To fit half a cotter pin? I told him to go back and measure the goddamn nut. Took me a minute or two to convince him.

Then there's the kid who asked me for a metric half inch socket. Not a metric, half inch drive, socket. A METRIC HALF INCH. I say we got like a 13mm, and he's all "Ok I'll take that instead."

And of course who could forget the kid who not only fills in his scantron test with PEN, but he would have gotten the questions wrong even if he used pencil!

I've almost convinced my boss to keep a taser on hand for these guys. Next idjit to ask me for just a Wrench gets cooked!

21-05-2005, 10:05
Nid, I think most of the people on this board would be about the standard of these kids. I certainly would. I can't see anything wrong with half the things you've said...

For a start, I don't know what a cotter pin is.

Ass Goblin
21-05-2005, 10:21
While I know nothing about tools. Looking at stuff like :

"The guide say i need wrench."
"See it say I need one."

I'm guessing they have the brain power of a a cave man

21-05-2005, 16:33

Cotter pin and castle nut, both in poor condition but it gets the point across....shove the pin through the hole in the nut, and bend it over to lock it in place. Now, cut that pin in half.....try to obtain a socket for the pin....

21-05-2005, 17:06
I've just realised what I must look like to some people when I go on a rant about 40k or computer games no one else in the group has played.

*nods and smiles politely*

21-05-2005, 18:09
to think they will be making our cars one day :D

Delicious Soy
22-05-2005, 12:52
Given the malfunctions my last car had, I'd say they're already doing it. :p

22-05-2005, 13:36
No one understands me when I make a reference to a '+2 something of whatever' at uni. Fools! If only they knew the truth.

That being said, they don't really understand much of what I do, and I have been called weird by some blonde chick in my course. I didn't tell her that she's an ugly slorch though...

22-05-2005, 13:37

*Nominates for best new word 2005*

22-05-2005, 14:29
I now understand the polite, yet vacant looks people give me when I start talking about guards, half guards, side control and rear naked chokes.

Nid, next time someone shtoopid comes in, ask them to go and fetch you a long weight...

23-05-2005, 13:07
"Umm hello I need a rench for my 92 Integra" Yep I can't see anything wrong with that at all. :rolleyes:

Even somebody that knows nothing about cars at all has no excuse to be that dumb. It's like walking into McDonalds and saying "uh yeah hi I'd like sum, u kno food and stuff".

One day you'll end up like my old autoshop teacher Nid. Raining tools down on his students from the shop balcony in a maelstrom of rage, confusion and contempt.

23-05-2005, 13:26
I get a similar thing at my (casual) work.

*guy walks up to counter*

Guy: I'll have a chocolate donut please.

I look down, see about a dozen varieties of chocolate donut, and look back up at him.

Guy: What?

Then I'll usually ask what type, and he'll point vaugely at something he can see but I cant.

"That one."


Or the people who decide they want skim milk after you've finished the (full cream) coffee, and wonder why you couldn't read their mind and why you made it on full.

23-05-2005, 15:35
Samoth - To be fair any sensible person would believe that the counter allowed the person staffing it to see what they were doing :rolleyes:

24-05-2005, 13:22
I'll give you credit, you don't know the counter I'm talking about and I didnt describe it, so that's natural. But no intelligent person who has seen the style of counter (with 4 layers of overlapping trays) could honestly expect to point at a donut and be understood.

24-05-2005, 14:27
Nid, next time someone shtoopid comes in, ask them to go and fetch you a long weight...

Or tell the guy you need a left handed screwdriver and a tin of tartan paint (Please note this does work on stupid people, we sent someone at my old work in a chemistry lab for these two items and a 'long stand', he was gone 2 hours, the guys at stores just let him stand there) but yea, nid, i suggest you make sure they all fail, i dont want anyone that stupid making something which i may need to drive at 70mph or more.