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Feefait
11-02-2010, 18:38
Rereading the Skaven book I found this gem:

p80 "The Clan Skryre death-dealing artifices of devastation can, with some bad luck, do nothing to your foe, but slay your own troops with wild abandon. All of this isn't a flaw in the army design; it is a flaw in the Skaven character."

lol really? Ignoring it being sounding like a freshman english 101 reject - doesn't seem a bit defensive?

it's like he's trying to proactively justify the rules before any real complaints start. lol

so is there anything you've come across in a book; be it fluff, rules or tactics that made you shake your head?

Fee

w3rm
11-02-2010, 18:45
In the Daemon Book under the part where Matt Ward talks about buidling a Daemonic force is says "With Daemons you get to be the ultimate bad guy" Yes you do Matt, yes you do.

zak
11-02-2010, 18:50
1. The point cost for the Hydra and Hell Pit Abomination.
2. The point cost for ALL DoC units and especially the SC's.
3. The point cost for Orc Big'Uns and Boarboys
To be honest the list is long. Number 2 would be my most ridiculous though.

Stegadeth
11-02-2010, 18:55
The rule that says I have to roll armour saves with the dice that just wounded me!

Sorry, those dice are obviously bad freaking luck. Plus, they just presumably rolled somewhat high. Sure, dice have no memories but I don't like taking chances ; )

Oh, Army Book, not BRB. Well, I still think this is a dumb rule. As for Army Books and most ridiculous things I absolutely love Lizardmen. But these asinine and frankly poor puns they chose as names for them... it should die next Army Book. Lord Kroak, the triple entendre; Tiqtaq'to, I mean come on! You've gotten rid of some of them, let's do the world a favor and quit forcing what's left of these tired and pathetic attempts at humor from a decade ago on your customers, GW.

Leogun_91
11-02-2010, 18:57
There is a man from the moon in the new beasts of chaos book. It feels quite ridicolous.

Stegadeth
11-02-2010, 18:57
There is a man from the moon in the new beasts of chaos book. It feels quite ridicolous.

Weird. Which moon?

Lijacote
11-02-2010, 18:58
1. The point cost for the Hydra and Hell Pit Abomination.
2. The point cost for ALL DoC units and especially the SC's.
3. The point cost for Orc Big'Uns and Boarboys
To be honest the list is long. Number 2 would be my most ridiculous though.

Screamers, nurglings, Beasts of Nurgle, daemonettes, bloodletters, are they all that ridiculous? Are they? Are they REALLY more ridiculous than boarboyz?

I doubt it.

Leogun_91
11-02-2010, 19:02
Weird. Which moon?Morrslieb....
I'm thinking about how a Warhammer Armies: Morrsleibians would be.

Another weird thing is to have throgg and the chaos trolls in WoC rather than BoC. Throggs fluff is that he hates humans.....WoC armies that includes Throgg will most often include humans as well.

Malorian
11-02-2010, 19:04
The dwarf rule that makes them flee and chase as -1.

Can't remember what it's called but it starts out sounding like a good thing and then end up being a bad thing.

gdsora
11-02-2010, 19:06
Most Ridiculous thing in an army book?
An Icon Bearer >_>



And

Skeleton *heavy* horsemen

Warhammer Madman
11-02-2010, 19:15
There are a few things that should have been included that havent... (just read some FaQ's...).
but for me what takes the buiscuit is the rare choices for the new BoC.

Giant is 50pts less than two horrific beasties (Jabawatsit and Cygor) people complain about hydras but I rekon these bad boys will take the crown of "biggest oversight of the eddition"

Rare terror causing flyers!!!???!!! Wtf

Rare anti-mages!!!???!!!

both are treditionaly character jobs!

but then again there are those horrors 10 of them forfill a core slot and create a instant wizzard-line... Rediculous...

sorry for a little rant but Bwarr... and people complain about by Bretonians.

Lord Malorne
11-02-2010, 19:16
In the Daemon Book under the part where Matt Ward talks about buidling a Daemonic force is says "With Daemons you get to be the ultimate bad guy" Yes you do Matt, yes you do.

Now that was funny :D.

zak
11-02-2010, 19:22
Ok, maybe not all of the DoC book. However, the Blue Scribes are far more under costed than boarboys are over costed.

Malorian
11-02-2010, 19:24
Boarboys? Bah!

Pure gold compared to the high elve arch mage with a null stone ;)

Belerophon709
11-02-2010, 19:31
There are a few things that should have been included that havent... (just read some FaQ's...).
but for me what takes the buiscuit is the rare choices for the new BoC.

Giant is 50pts less than two horrific beasties (Jabawatsit and Cygor) people complain about hydras but I rekon these bad boys will take the crown of "biggest oversight of the eddition"

Rare terror causing flyers!!!???!!! Wtf

Rare anti-mages!!!???!!!

both are treditionaly character jobs!

but then again there are those horrors 10 of them forfill a core slot and create a instant wizzard-line... Rediculous...

sorry for a little rant but Bwarr... and people complain about by Bretonians.

Ok, this one made me laugh - really hard.
I choked and almost started crying when it dawned on me you might just be serious...

I sincerely hope you're not.


Anyways, most ridiculous thing for me would be the new BoC spell "Bestial Surge". Great, let's move all our forces towards the enemy, with no chance of getting a charge off. Then let's just stand there and wait for the enemy to pummel us.... :eyebrows:


Marcus

SuperArchMegalon
11-02-2010, 19:39
In the Daemon Book under the part where Matt Ward talks about buidling a Daemonic force is says "With Daemons you get to be the ultimate bad guy" Yes you do Matt, yes you do.

Right on the back cover of the book it says, "Against the Daemons of Chaos there can be no final victory. They cannot be defeated. They cannot be stopped".

Apparently this is also a DoC rule. It's usually interpreted RAW. Haw haw.

Empire - Ulric
11-02-2010, 19:40
Anything and everything related to the "Master Engineer" In the Empire Army Book!

But above all the "Robo - Horse" !

willowdark
11-02-2010, 19:53
lol really? Ignoring it being sounding like a freshman english 101 reject -




How did you do in English? Sorry. I just couldn't let it go. ;)

The Lizardmen book is full typos, and apart from that there are characters named tic-tac-to and teeny weeny.

Wow, is that ridiculous.

Tokamak
11-02-2010, 20:12
The DoC book from start to finish.

angelusmortis1384
11-02-2010, 20:30
page 1-96 of the new beastmen army book.

can anyone say wide-scale major castration? i feel sorry for these boys, to have their manhood taken away from them in their prime as well!!!

Condottiere
11-02-2010, 20:42
I don't know about ridiculous, but a Pigeon Bomb is pretty funny.

Giledan
11-02-2010, 20:43
Morrslieb....
I'm thinking about how a Warhammer Armies: Morrsleibians would be.


Totally off topic but i read that as 'Warhammer Armies: Morrilesbians' about 3-4 times before i finally understood it... :p

Feefait
11-02-2010, 20:43
How did you do in English? Sorry. I just couldn't let it go. ;)

The Lizardmen book is full typos, and apart from that there are characters named tic-tac-to and teeny weeny.

Wow, is that ridiculous.

actually i done pretty good. :P
but i'm also not a 'professional' writer. one thing i did learn in school though is to avoid wordiness, repetition and excess adjectives. sometthing the boys at gw should learn. i think i still have a writing exercise book around here somewhere.... anyone got an address for gw? lol

most of the real issues sound like they could have been avoided with a little proofing

Malorian
11-02-2010, 20:46
most of the real issues sound like they could have been avoided with a little proofing

Sometimes I wonder if the problem is too much proofing.

Too many people checking it over and making changes which mess up other changes.


One writer, spell check, and handful of test games is all they should need.

Sons of Blight
11-02-2010, 20:50
w3m - you could have stopped after saying the demon book.

Orcboy_Phil
11-02-2010, 20:53
I know its not exactually an army book, but every single piece of fluff about Mary Suegar in the new Space Marine codex beats hands down all the bad writing in any Army Book you care to name.

Maoriboy007
11-02-2010, 21:05
How about the line in the DoC Book that says Greater Demons are monsters and affected by things that relate to monsters and then the FaQ that says that they aren't?

Skyros
11-02-2010, 21:10
so is there anything you've come across in a book; be it fluff, rules or tactics that made you shake your head?
Fee

The way the empire claims to use halberdiers for the bulk of their regiments, when they are hands down the most worthless choice for state troops.

M. Armand
11-02-2010, 21:34
The way the empire claims to use halberdiers for the bulk of their regiments, when they are hands down the most worthless choice for state troops.

No joke. Seriously. /thread

WinglessVT2
11-02-2010, 21:40
All high elves having always strikes first.

Stegadeth
11-02-2010, 21:49
actually i done pretty good. :P
but i'm also not a 'professional' writer. one thing i did learn in school though is to avoid wordiness, repetition and excess adjectives. sometthing the boys at gw should learn. i think i still have a writing exercise book around here somewhere.... anyone got an address for gw? lol

most of the real issues sound like they could have been avoided with a little proofing

I've done some writing and have friends that have done some writing (RPG related, so games stuff!) and I have also done some editing on a few different projects. It's funny, but to be a writer one doesn't have to be a good speller, or even have a grasp of proper grammar. One just has to have good ideas and in the case of rules for games, be able to deliver a solid-looking system to the powers that be.

From now on, if you see poor spelling or grammar in a professional public work, don't blame the poor writer. Blame the darn editor who didn't do their job!

Razakel
11-02-2010, 21:50
I find discrepancies between multiple army books retarded, e.g. the Organ Gun does not need to roll to hit, but the Helblaster Volley Gun does. I know this is a case of "between-edition-itis" but as soon as the decision arose to change these weapons (a similar thing happened to the Ratling Gun) from instant hits to roll-to-hits there should have been an Errata/FAQ on it to make it a universal rule.

Same thing with the template weapons from some armies, Grudge Thrower must roll to hit on partials, but the Helstorm Rocket Battery doesn't. I know that isn't the best example, but it still annoys me.

I also think Bloodthirsters with Obsidian Armour should be banned, & Dark Insanity is pushing it. In fact as other people said: The majority / all of the DoC army book.

Invocation of Nehek spam is another one and I can't believe it hasn't been mentioned yet. Its one of the most disgusting tactics in Warhammer Fantasy and I'd probably just roll over and die if I didn't play Dwarves.

GodlessM
11-02-2010, 21:51
Screamers, nurglings, Beasts of Nurgle, daemonettes, bloodletters, are they all that ridiculous? Are they? Are they REALLY more ridiculous than boarboyz?

I doubt it.

Yea they are actually. Unless you hae been living under a rock for the last 2yrs you should know all abou how undercosted most of the Daemon choices are, especially core. Compare Bloodletters to Black Guard, Chaos Warriors, or any other tough infantry unit and see how much less the Bloodletters pay.

Lordsaradain
11-02-2010, 21:51
The fluff section in the O&G book which says the supreme patriarch of the collages of magicslew one of Gorbads wyverns.

The collages of magic didn't exist during the time of Gorbads waagh!
It's such a blatant mistake.

Avian
11-02-2010, 21:56
Rereading the Skaven book I found this gem:

p80 "The Clan Skryre death-dealing artifices of devastation can, with some bad luck, do nothing to your foe, but slay your own troops with wild abandon. All of this isn't a flaw in the army design; it is a flaw in the Skaven character."

lol really? Ignoring it being sounding like a freshman english 101 reject - doesn't seem a bit defensive?
Oh, come on, that whole paragraph is hilarious. :D I read it to my wife and she found it greatly amusing despite only having the vaguest idea of what Skaven are.


I personally found the whole "Mannfred is the genious behind EVERYTHING!" in the VC army book tedious to say the least.

johnwayne
11-02-2010, 21:57
The fact that is always turns out that armies never function on the battlefield as GW intended them in their fluff or in their adorable little tactical tips section at the end of the army books.

This covers the inexplicable reschooling of emperial halberdiers into steamtanks and popes. The oh-so easiliy scared ferocious orks. That dying race of poets and painters that has more professional soldiers than levies. Another dying race with more personal bodyguards than regular soldiers. A skaven horde army that somehow turned into an elite army when people started playing with it. The entire Dwarven book is a testimony of will and a lack of ideas/skill.
This tendency even stretches into the Space Marine codex (how cool would it be if they really were the few and the pround?)

Actually, VC turned out pretty much as was promised in the fluff. Well done in that army book!

Meh, some nice ideas but too uninspired to fill an entire book, that's what I think of the army books. Keep up the attempts at dated humor though, I would hate to think you take this too serious.

blindingdark
11-02-2010, 22:07
Right on the back cover of the book it says, "Against the Daemons of Chaos there can be no final victory. They cannot be defeated. They cannot be stopped".

This.

Hillarious.

Anvilbrow
12-02-2010, 01:03
On the flight back from the LVGT a couple of years ago, my buddy and I sitting across the aisle were warned to be quiet by a flight attendant.

Why? We were taking turns reading aloud passages from the Demon fluff which is SO over the top it is hilarious. We were both laughing so hard at that drivel we were crying. I haven't seen stuff like that since taking the SAT twenty-something years ago...

Good times.

ChaosVC
12-02-2010, 01:17
Eyes of the Gods(cocks)...Almost every game I slew a character or monster with my characters, I got my Gaze of the gods rewards or penalty in turn 5 or 6. I say to myself "Why TF am I paying extra and be penalized for this cow poop from Phill Kelly?!" ....but then I feel even more sorrier for the beast man players because their book is a whole new breath of bull crap.

cornixt
12-02-2010, 01:23
The DoW Giant fluff - he shouts "Bollogs!" at everyone all the time. Was that written by a 14 year old?

Necromancy Black
12-02-2010, 03:00
Slave Giants in the OK book can fall for many reasons...but dieing isn't one of them.
Apparently they just slowly fold in on themselves without risk of injury to anything around their feet.

Ultimate Life Form
12-02-2010, 03:18
I'm just in the process of reading the Beastmen book and I find the fluff tedious and repetitive (and illogical) to say the least. Every page mentions:

a) That Minotaurs like eating people
b) How much Beastmen love Chaos (despite having lost its title, Lores and Marks)
c) How much Beastmen enjoy killing and desecrating human sanctuaries

Now copy and paste over 96 pages. Skaven was somehow the same, but they had ad least some variation among topics.

The most ridiculous thing... uh-unh, it's pretty hard because there are lots of hot candidates, but I figure the OK item that wards against the dreaded Ice Magic must be somewhere near the top.

StarFyreXXX
12-02-2010, 03:19
I hope ice magic gets added in 8E. For those of us who are stuck using the BRB lores, it be nice to have even more to choose from (getting bored of the basic 8)

:D

Sanjay

Condottiere
12-02-2010, 03:39
Adding "basic" Lores would be interesting, but can we trust anyone to do the job properly? The same spells can be transplanted from one Lore to another, and that's not really the point.

Stegadeth
12-02-2010, 04:30
Adding "basic" Lores would be interesting, but can we trust anyone to do the job properly? The same spells can be transplanted from one Lore to another, and that's not really the point.

You summed it up nicely. If Fire Lore turns into Ice Lore just changing fire to ice and adding some light fluff, it's a really not a gain. If they create X Lore and take 6 spells, one from each from 6 other lores, again, no big deal to me. They'd really need to come up with something new and fresh and not just Fireball renamed Snowball with the same in-game effects and fluff rework.

bert n ernie
12-02-2010, 04:46
Wow, reading this thread reminds me why I don't read the background in a lot of the armybooks anymore.
I always thought it odd that clan eshin 'sneak' underground with a big clanky machine made by clan skyre. Especially since they are the only ones with access to the weapon, despite every single clanrat living underground and only emerging for battle.

orlanth1000
12-02-2010, 05:54
The fluff about how one day chaos will swamp all........I hate sad endings......I had to sit through Cold Mountain on a date,......I was bored for a long while, then a dumb ending wtf?

Sygerrik
12-02-2010, 06:14
A lot of rules whining in this thread. My understanding is that it's about ridiculous background. My contribution: the Skytitans. Seriously? They introduce a whole race of hyper-intelligent giants and kill them off within a paragraph? And there aren't even any Skytitan artifacts or an enslaved Skytitan? The Slavegiant was so tacked on, they could have made him actually interesting by making him a Skytitan and changing around his whole attacks table.

Laughingmonk
12-02-2010, 06:22
The way the empire claims to use halberdiers for the bulk of their regiments, when they are hands down the most worthless choice for state troops.

"Halberdiers are known for their strength and versatility in battle."

Yeah, they equally suck at everything.

SiNNiX
12-02-2010, 06:34
I can't stand the fact that armies seem to be getting less inventive with every release. Like GW creates the army in a day.

"And for this magic item.... uh... it does, uh... THIS! KABLOOEY!"

Above: The tedious process of creating magic items.

Leogun_91
12-02-2010, 07:30
The way the empire claims to use halberdiers for the bulk of their regiments, when they are hands down the most worthless choice for state troops.Empire does it beacouse Karl-Franz decided that each province must have a standing force of them.
1) It doesn't say that they are the most common, each province is forced to have them but provinces are huge. It's as claiming that beacouse all lands in Medeival Europe had Nobles they where the most common citizens.
2) Halberdiers are in fluff good, diverse units, spearmen are the poor mans choice and swordsmen are heroic warriors. How common they are is not adressed.

I find discrepancies between multiple army books retarded, e.g. the Organ Gun does not need to roll to hit, but the Helblaster Volley Gun does. I know this is a case of "between-edition-itis" but as soon as the decision arose to change these weapons (a similar thing happened to the Ratling Gun) from instant hits to roll-to-hits there should have been an Errata/FAQ on it to make it a universal rule.Fits fluffwise. The hellblaster drowns the enemy in a sea of bullets but isn't reliable (to hit or not to blow up) the organ gun shoot less but will hit.

"Halberdiers are known for their strength and versatility in battle."

Yeah, they equally suck at everything.Well the fluff still works. It's just that the mayority is better than humans, swordsmen are better in the fluff, they are described as heroic individuals while halberdiers are just mainstay. Halberdiers are strong and versatile compared to spearmen (higher S thanks to Halberds and versatile as they work both if charging and receiving charges as well as working as detatchments) just as it is supposed to be.

Tenken
12-02-2010, 07:42
Lizardmen special character mounts: Grymloq, Zlaaq, Zwup.

Who here remembers the transformers cartoons?:D

Also the slann fluff vs practice in magic. So they can move mountains with a mere gesture, but they have to use imperial colleges' magic? The **** you say?

ChaosVC
12-02-2010, 08:24
Guess which book these sentences belongs to?

"When combined with decades of martial training, it creates a warrior elite the likes of which few can comprehend."

"Each warrior practices his function until he is able to react with lighting speed to any situation. The result of such intense and effective training is an army that can think faster act more decisively and is more proficient than any other."

ChaosVC
12-02-2010, 08:44
Anyone have the darkelf book should take look at the art work of Kouran and Tullaris.

Either they are twins or they are the same person OR all dark elves look the same...

Malice&Mizery
12-02-2010, 09:48
The fluff about how one day chaos will swamp all........I hate sad endings......I had to sit through Cold Mountain on a date,......I was bored for a long while, then a dumb ending wtf?

Count yourself lucky you didn't have Cold Mountain as part of your English A level. I had to read the book at least twice and then the film over and over to keep it fresh in my mind ?.?

As for rediculous things written in an army book... I'd say my worst offender is probably the fluff for Korhil, I'm sure there's worse but that story had me cringing from the 'in a feat of strength uneard of from an elf, he wrestled the raging beast and throttled the life from its thrashing body'

Now elves either have massive brawler hands or white lions are smaller than your average house cat ;)

Leogun_91
12-02-2010, 10:24
As for rediculous things written in an army book... I'd say my worst offender is probably the fluff for Korhil, I'm sure there's worse but that story had me cringing from the 'in a feat of strength uneard of from an elf, he wrestled the raging beast and throttled the life from its thrashing body'What?! Unheard of. Whitelions wrestle white lions for initiation and then wear their pelts.

But you don't have to be able to reach around it's neck with your hands to be able to throttle something. Maybe putting his arm around the neck of it and throttle it that way.

Malice&Mizery
12-02-2010, 10:50
I'm sure they chop them up with their axes.

Maybe you could throttle a lion for me and show me the error of my ways. ;)

Leogun_91
12-02-2010, 11:12
Maybe you could throttle a lion for me and show me the error of my ways. ;)It says that it's an extraordinary feat of strenght, if I could get use of a live size model of a lion I could show how I think one should hold to have it possibe but ofcourse I myself can't do it. Lions are big strong and dangerous.

Malice&Mizery
12-02-2010, 11:36
Heh, I get what you're saying, I'm just being silly :p

BigbyWolf
12-02-2010, 11:37
Now elves either have massive brawler hands or white lions are smaller than your average house cat ;)

Maybe it was a kitten?

Oh...wait, damn...wrong thread...

On the subject of pointless things in books, has Fiery Demagogue ever been explained/ FAQ'd? For all I know it could be the single most important special rule in the entire game...but Shhhh, its a secret!

Konrad Von Carstein has a very impressive story in the VC book, and as much as I love the crazy hero-level build they have going on, it just doesn't stike me as a good representation of someone who was more feared then Mannfred.

Zarroc
12-02-2010, 12:04
In the Daemon Book under the part where Matt Ward talks about buidling a Daemonic force is says "With Daemons you get to be the ultimate bad guy" Yes you do Matt, yes you do.

Made me crack up laughing


Right on the back cover of the book it says, "Against the Daemons of Chaos there can be no final victory. They cannot be defeated. They cannot be stopped".

Apparently this is also a DoC rule. It's usually interpreted RAW. Haw haw.

Almost had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard....

Kuroi
12-02-2010, 12:17
An entire army of high elves having always strike first.

Malice&Mizery
12-02-2010, 12:24
An entire army of high elves having always strike first.

That leads me to wonder if they'll ever lose that in future editions.

Be funny to see how GW explains the loss of ASF.

angelusmortis1384
12-02-2010, 12:32
That leads me to wonder if they'll ever lose that in future editions.

Be funny to see how GW explains the loss of ASF.

they got a wrinkle...

squiggoth
12-02-2010, 12:35
Now elves either have massive brawler hands or white lions are smaller than your average house cat ;)

A lot of the High and Dark Elf models have hands that make a plastic Zombie look well-proportioned. :p

Malice&Mizery
12-02-2010, 12:52
Ha! That is true :p

tezdal
12-02-2010, 12:54
You know what they say though...."Big Hands mean's big........erm helms?"

Malice&Mizery
12-02-2010, 13:02
You know what they say though...."Big Hands mean's big........erm helms?"

I can see Tyrion being a hit with the girls with his massive... gloves ;)

Feefait
12-02-2010, 18:41
Guess which book these sentences belongs to?

"When combined with decades of martial training, it creates a warrior elite the likes of which few can comprehend."

"Each warrior practices his function until he is able to react with lighting speed to any situation. The result of such intense and effective training is an army that can think faster act more decisively and is more proficient than any other."

sounds like it would be chaos and high elves, but is probably more like dwarves and empire. lol

and i agree with the LM takes on names and 'power' of the Slann. The silly naming tradition needs to die and be replaced by some historically accurate takes. SO many cool sounding south american god and hero names. shame to be stuck with TiqTaqTo. And Slann are the mightiest of all wizards... and yet don't have their own lore and have to pay to get an extra spell. lol oh well, thats just whining on my part now. but they do build them up a bit much.

Love the demons comments too. I've been lucky and never played them. We have a member of our gorup that keeps threatening a demon army but he never brings it. hehe

Gork or Possibly Mork
12-02-2010, 19:38
I don't really like the silly names either but I still like Kroak.

Croak, Frog, He's dead. I don't know I just think that ones funny and I like it.

The rest I wouldn't miss at all including the nod to transformers dinobots.

Jack of Blades
12-02-2010, 20:46
These kind of threads always manage to crack me up really good with all of the various good humor common with the kind of people that dwell on forums :D

As for my entry... it has got to be Kholek. It basically goes something like this: RAAARRR! ME SMASH BIG WALL! oooo shiny butterfly *wanders off*

Come on Kholek, you can see over the damned wall - do you really need to do something so lame as to just smash a hole in it and then go home? can't you at least do something cool like take some contigents with you, march down and attack the Wood Elves because of a recurring dream-call to fight against them by some notable Beastman shaman? Why you little bastard, you thought your cave was oh-so cozy didn't you...

Uh oh, Grimgor just called me and he's actually very angry because I nominated Kholek but not his entry. So I told him sorry Grimgor, but with the new books around you're just not as retarded as you used to be :)

Zilverug
12-02-2010, 20:54
The DoW Giant fluff - he shouts "Bollogs!" at everyone all the time. Was that written by a 14 year old?

It's his name... He is just introducing himself...

The Question
12-02-2010, 22:39
How about Valtan making the 'sign of the twin-tailed comet' in the Storm of Chaos book? Obviously they have more than a few 14 year olds working for them...

BigbyWolf
12-02-2010, 22:46
It's his name... He is just introducing himself...

That's a load of bollogs...he's just being rude!

It's not in an armybook yet...but there's always Grimgor sticking the nut on Archaon and then walking off like he's proved his point. Knocking out a distracted big nasty armoured Chaos Warrior doesn't prove anything...chopping his head of and using the helmet for a mug does!

And that was closely followed by Grimgor and his entire army being routed by an "unearthly scream" from a dying gobbo at the end of the "Nemesis Crown"...not immune to little 'un panic now, are we Grimmers?

Agnar the Howler
12-02-2010, 23:00
How the Slaan are described as only allowed to use their palanquins to rise over Temple Guard to get a better view, almost as if they are incapable of doing it without them. "Damn, I can't get this floaty thingy to work! You, stand in front of me for a second... there we go!"

Also not really fluff or a profile, but how at one point in the LM dex you're told to see the reference on page 'XX', which isn't just them telling us in roman numerals, as it aint on page 20.

CrimsonCrane
12-02-2010, 23:03
Archaon. Period.

Malice&Mizery
12-02-2010, 23:11
That's a load of bollogs...he's just being rude!

It's not in an armybook yet...but there's always Grimgor sticking the nut on Archaon and then walking off like he's proved his point. Knocking out a distracted big nasty armoured Chaos Warrior doesn't prove anything...chopping his head of and using the helmet for a mug does!

And that was closely followed by Grimgor and his entire army being routed by an "unearthly scream" from a dying gobbo at the end of the "Nemesis Crown"...not immune to little 'un panic now, are we Grimmers?

QFT.

The whole ending to SoC was rediculous, poor, poor Valten getting killed off like that, he had THREE models!!!! The Exalted one was particularly beautiful, I wish they kept him around :(

I didn't even bother with the Nemesis Crown.

Lord Inquisitor
12-02-2010, 23:42
Yea they are actually. Unless you hae been living under a rock for the last 2yrs you should know all abou how undercosted most of the Daemon choices are, especially core. Compare Bloodletters to Black Guard, Chaos Warriors, or any other tough infantry unit and see how much less the Bloodletters pay.

You seem to be serious, but you really think Bloodletters are undercosted compared with Black Guard?

The 'Letters have +1 Strength, Killing Blow, a Ward save and can get Hatred if accompanied by a herald and cost 1 less point.
The Guard have 2 attacks (!!), always re-roll misses, are Stubborn on Ld 9, can get ASF on I6, can take magic items on the champion and are also ItP.

Put equal points of Black Guard against Bloodletters and the Black Guard will win. Compare Black Guard with the ASF banner to daemonettes and they wipe the floor with them, even with a herald.

Now just because the Black Guard with that dratted banner are cheese doesn't make the daemon book less cheesy, but that's not a great example! :cheese:

Orcboy_Phil
13-02-2010, 00:08
Also not really fluff or a profile, but how at one point in the LM dex you're told to see the reference on page 'XX', which isn't just them telling us in roman numerals, as it aint on page 20.

You never read a copy of Werewolf: the Apocolypse first edition did you!

Agnar the Howler
13-02-2010, 00:31
You never read a copy of Warewolf: the Apocolypse first edition did you!

Was that a question or a statement?

Lord Malorne
13-02-2010, 00:37
The exclamation mark means it is a statement :).

For me the most ridiculous (with the exception of the DoC book) is dwarves having M3, they should be M4, there are plenty of similar size beings with M4 and I am sure most dwarves would be in better shape than them, Dwarves will not be an all round army until they get M4, as is you are almost forced into playing gunline and castling.

Agnar the Howler
13-02-2010, 00:43
I know what it means (i'm not 4) I just wanted confirmation. It's easy to mix up your marks?

yorch
13-02-2010, 00:56
I don't have the book at the moment, but I found quite hilarious the fluff for Lord Skrolk in the skaven book.

It says the corruption and smell of Skrolk is so strong that even flies die around him... yet it the picture below you can see swarms of flies surrounding him...

MercuryLamp
13-02-2010, 04:10
The skaven are everywhere and ready to strike at any time. No one believes they exist even though the empire, bretonnia, tilea, and the dwarfs have fought multiple major wars against them.

SiNNiX
13-02-2010, 06:29
An entire army of high elves having always strike first?

Ironically, these are the exact and only words God speaks to you when you die and walk towards the light.

BigbyWolf
13-02-2010, 09:32
The exclamation mark means it is a statement :).

For me the most ridiculous (with the exception of the DoC book) is dwarves having M3, they should be M4, there are plenty of similar size beings with M4 and I am sure most dwarves would be in better shape than them, Dwarves will not be an all round army until they get M4, as is you are almost forced into playing gunline and castling.

I firmly believe that it's not a size issue, it's all down to the beards...once you've got one that grows all the way down to your knees it's bound to hamper movement.

Urgat
13-02-2010, 10:36
They tuck it in their belts in order to avoid that :p

BigbyWolf
13-02-2010, 10:58
They tuck it in their belts in order to avoid that :p

Really? And I thought that bulge was why you see dwarf women with big smiles on their faces...so it's really just the Dwarven version of the Imperial Cod-piece?

rtunian
13-02-2010, 12:58
80 pounds of beard would weigh anyone down

Condottiere
13-02-2010, 13:33
If that were the case, they wouldn't need mailshirts, since they would be sprouting steel strands.

BigbyWolf
13-02-2010, 18:10
Maybe they'll incorporate that idea and give Dwarfs and extra +1 to their armour save next edition...or do you think that would be too beardy?

rtunian
13-02-2010, 18:17
do you think that would be too beardy?

oh the punishment !!

BigbyWolf
13-02-2010, 19:56
oh the punishment !!

You can always rely on me to have one ready!

O&G'sRule
13-02-2010, 20:26
Blue scribes, 81 points

Voss
13-02-2010, 20:31
There is a man from the moon in the new beasts of chaos book. It feels quite ridicolous.

Nah, the most ridiculous thing in the beasts book is the line that there isn't a human settlement within 100 leagues of a herdstone. Looking at the map of the Empire in the same book, its easy to see that there isn't a point within the forests that _aren't_ within 100 leagues of a human city, except the Laurelorn forest, which is specifically stated to be outside their control.

Ergo, there are no herdstones at all within the Empire. Oops.


But the limitless numbers of chaos beasts within the Empire (as described in the book) gets a bit silly anyway.

Jack of Blades
13-02-2010, 20:49
Nah, the most ridiculous thing in the beasts book is the line that there isn't a human settlement within 100 leagues of a herdstone. Looking at the map of the Empire in the same book, its easy to see that there isn't a point within the forests that _aren't_ within 100 leagues of a human city, except the Laurelorn forest, which is specifically stated to be outside their control.

Ergo, there are no herdstones at all within the Empire. Oops.


But the limitless numbers of chaos beasts within the Empire (as described in the book) gets a bit silly anyway.

I don't think stuff like this and the fluff about Skrolk is meant to be taken literally. At least I hope it isn't :p

Stronginthearm
13-02-2010, 21:40
Grimgor and his entire army being routed by an "unearthly scream" from a dying gobbo at the end of the "Nemesis Crown"...not immune to little 'un panic now, are we Grimmers?

:D Definitely adding this to sig

My piece of rediculousness for the day is the inability to kill off Mannfred, seriously guys he should just die and GW should come up with a new von carstein who will reak havoc after killing his way to the top of the sylvanian hierarchy, mannfred just feels like a lame freddy krueger who won't admit he's dead

BigbyWolf
14-02-2010, 00:34
:D Definitely adding this to sig

Feel free!

Sygerrik
14-02-2010, 00:55
Ok, how about this: Chakax killing a Slaaneshi demon prince-- a powerful one, that led an entire army-- in about 3 seconds?
Or we could go with basically anything in the Ogre Kingdoms book, like the comet that chewed all the way through the world or the fact that an Ogre Kingdom is literally the distance its Tyrant can see in all directions (From where? From any point in his kingdom? It would be infinite in size)!
Or most of the fluff in the DoC book, such as the chalice that Khorne keeps breaking and fixing eternally. It reads like an especially retarded tribal creation myth.

Or Natty Buboe the Jezzail Sniper that racked up a huge tally of Dwarven engineers who looked through a scope he had shot out. Not only is it a bad literary reference, it's a literary reference to a terrible book.

Finally, the whole Ungrim Ironfist thing. So the Slayer Kings of Karak Kadrin are bound by the Slayer Oath but unable to fulfill it because of their oath to their people. That's pretty good fluff, the whole inner divide thing. But Garagrim figures out a way to break the "curse" of the Slayer Oath, goes off and succeeds, and his father immediately takes the Oath again. What the *******?

BigbyWolf
14-02-2010, 01:05
Finally, the whole Ungrim Ironfist thing. So the Slayer Kings of Karak Kadrin are bound by the Slayer Oath but unable to fulfill it because of their oath to their people. That's pretty good fluff, the whole inner divide thing. But Garagrim figures out a way to break the "curse" of the Slayer Oath, goes off and succeeds, and his father immediately takes the Oath again. What the *******?

Expecting rational thinking from a dwarf? Shame on you!

Voss
14-02-2010, 01:37
I don't think stuff like this and the fluff about Skrolk is meant to be taken literally. At least I hope it isn't :p

Some of it clearly isn't, but some of it is just sloppy writing. The 'teeming hordes' is, and probably acceptable. The 'no human settlements within 100 leagues _isn't_ acceptable hyperbole though. Its something I'd expect from an American author with no concept of the distance of a league, and who happened to blank on the physical size of the old world.

Then you get into the weirdness where apparently humans only live in a tiny, tiny percentage of the Empire, all huddled in tiny corner afraid of the beasts. That doesn't jive with any Fantasy background written...ever. Yes, you don't go into the dark places in the woods, but according to this, humans are on the verge of being wiped out- its just a matter of the beastlords settling who's in charge for the fight.

Fulgrim's Gimp
14-02-2010, 01:42
The bit in the daemon timeline where a black ark gets ported to Nurgle's realm and returns back to the Dark Elf colony of Arnheim.

Rules wise, Malekith's cloak or armour which gives him a fantastic ward save except against magic weapons, not like high elves will ever bring those to kill the scary Darth Vader wannabe will they?

The Bestman fluff in the new book. Bleh. Minotaurs eat lots and are 'roiders, beastmen like to poo over everything.....yawn.

Daemon special character fluff summary:

Was favourite now isn't or got messed with by the god. (Skarbrand, Masque,Fateweaver, Kugath)

SiNNiX
14-02-2010, 02:08
A treeman being able to flee. :confused: Picture this... a TREEMAN being able to RUN AWAY! Lol. We played today and my brother's goblin unit made my friend's treeman run... Treeman deals 4 wounds, goblins have 3 ranks, outnumber, banner,. Treeman rolls 11 on Ld test and runs from goblins.

We all just kinda agreed that definately needs to be addressed next WE release. Especially after my friend destroyed his treeman in a flurry of anger (his treeman always runs from the stupidest stuff lol).

w3rm
14-02-2010, 02:59
The skaven are everywhere and ready to strike at any time. No one believes they exist even though the empire, bretonnia, tilea, and the dwarfs have fought multiple major wars against them.

Actually the great horned rat cast a spell on the skaven race so that no one will belive they exisit. or something like that.

Jack of Blades
14-02-2010, 03:12
A treeman being able to flee. :confused: Picture this... a TREEMAN being able to RUN AWAY! Lol. We played today and my brother's goblin unit made my friend's treeman run... Treeman deals 4 wounds, goblins have 3 ranks, outnumber, banner,. Treeman rolls 11 on Ld test and runs from goblins.

We all just kinda agreed that definately needs to be addressed next WE release. Especially after my friend destroyed his treeman in a flurry of anger (his treeman always runs from the stupidest stuff lol).

This is part of Warhammer's system of making even the shittiest things have a go at doing something useful beyond being there. For example Kholek who could use a regiment of Goblin spines to make a toothpick, was present when the Dragon Ogres made a pact with Chaos to serve it in exchange for immortality, can call lightning from the sky to strike what opposes him and has a hammer the size of a small building can not only fail to hit anything in a Goblin regiment, he can even fail to wound and run away from them. Hell, he can run away from a bunch of Snotlings and get killed by them (somehow). On another note, your armour can save you from having said small building-hammer pounded onto you... :rolleyes:

As you can see, lots of things in Warhammer simply don't make sense. Unfortunately that's just the way it has to be for the sake of game balance.

Alathir
14-02-2010, 06:42
For me, one of them has to be what was written in the latest Beastmen book. It stated that a large tribe of Beastmen in Bretonnia will ocassionally manage to procure a large skull of a 'Ramhorn' and continue to place said skull atop Bretonnian castle gateways, at which point all the large monsters like Ghorgons etc. will think that its a rival and bash down the gate with impudence. This went on to say that its lucky that ramhorn skulls are rare because if they weren't Bretonnia would have been 'stomped beneath cloven hoofs centuries ago'.

Brilliant.

So essentially, the only thing standing between all of Bretonnia and utter destruction is a bunch of freaking oversized skulls. Ridiculous.

GenerationTerrorist
14-02-2010, 21:46
The completely illegal 2000pts sample Army List in the High Elf book....Don't the chaps actually read their own rules before writing these things?

For anyone who missed it, there are 4 Characters. Sadly, one of them is riding a Dragon.....

Oskar
14-02-2010, 22:26
some rules : the Kroxigor and Stegadon from the lizardman should have kept the aquatic rule from earlier codex... c'mon, It totally fit !!

Also they say that Fell Bats from VC are to bats what a lion is to a cat... and yet they are not strenght 4 !! (not a big deal, but still..)

And I dont understand why they killed (and didnt bring back, like Boneriper) Khazrak the One-eye chaos hound pet : I always likes monster bodyguard for special characters. Or he could have at least provided some cool upgrades for chaos hound packs...

Sygerrik
14-02-2010, 22:30
I just saw another!
Page 3 of the Daemon army book: "Each unit has a points value to ensure you can pit your army against an opponent's in a fair match."
Yeah, right, Matt.

StarFyreXXX
15-02-2010, 00:47
kroxigor are still aquatic. Stegadons have never been aquatic...

Sanjay

Caiphas Cain
15-02-2010, 01:14
The completely illegal 2000pts sample Army List in the High Elf book....Don't the chaps actually read their own rules before writing these things?

For anyone who missed it, there are 4 Characters. Sadly, one of them is riding a Dragon.....

The one in the VC armybook is the same way.

Avalon
15-02-2010, 06:10
How did you do in English? Sorry. I just couldn't let it go. ;)

The Lizardmen book is full typos, and apart from that there are characters named tic-tac-to and teeny weeny.

Wow, is that ridiculous.
I believe his name was eensy weency and not teeny weeny ;)

No seriously.

Stegadeth
15-02-2010, 06:27
I believe his name was eensy weency and not teeny weeny ;)

No seriously.

Indeed. I have him still in a blister (I never fully finished my old Lizardmen Army) and his name is Inxi-Huinzi. He's a skink who rides a Cold One.

Volker the Mad Fiddler
15-02-2010, 07:07
The skaven are everywhere and ready to strike at any time. No one believes they exist even though the empire, bretonnia, tilea, and the dwarfs have fought multiple major wars against them.

Isn't it just humans [specifically the Empire] which deny the existence of Skaven? The Lizardmen definitely acknowledge them as do the Dwarfs. The Orcs battle them regularly [doesn't Grimgor spend his winter vacation in a skaven infested mine] as well.

Volker the Mad Fiddler
15-02-2010, 07:12
A treeman being able to flee. :confused: Picture this... a TREEMAN being able to RUN AWAY! Lol. We played today and my brother's goblin unit made my friend's treeman run... Treeman deals 4 wounds, goblins have 3 ranks, outnumber, banner,. Treeman rolls 11 on Ld test and runs from goblins.

We all just kinda agreed that definately needs to be addressed next WE release. Especially after my friend destroyed his treeman in a flurry of anger (his treeman always runs from the stupidest stuff lol).

Actually this use to be addressed- Treemen were 'rooted to the ground' I think it was called. Basically, if the treeman lost combat but didn't take any wounds, they didn't have to take a break test. Removed for balance/simplicity [I assume] and replaced with stubborn.

EdFireborn
15-02-2010, 07:26
Expecting rational thinking from a dwarf? Shame on you!

Expecting rational thinking from Games Workshop? Shame on you!

Grapeshot
15-02-2010, 08:18
I don't know about ridiculous, but a Pigeon Bomb is pretty funny.

I think they took the idea from Worms the video game... All they need is to add banana bomb to the list (Do they grow bananas in the world of Warhammer fantasy?)

Condottiere
15-02-2010, 09:40
They'd have to transplant it from the East to Central Lustria for any substantial supply to develop for the Old World markets.

Dvnjhn
15-02-2010, 10:18
All high elves having always strikes first.

I aint got a problem with them having always strikes first, its the fact that they still get it when charged in the rear.

Dvnjhn
15-02-2010, 10:22
We all just kinda agreed that definately needs to be addressed next WE release. Especially after my friend destroyed his treeman in a flurry of anger (his treeman always runs from the stupidest stuff lol).[/QUOTE]

Your mate just needs to learn to work out static combat res before charging a large unit in the front.

Crovax20
15-02-2010, 11:00
The Fear rules.. I have to say its not funny when a unit of 10 skeletons are so fearsome that a unit of 20 swordsmen don't dare to charge it. Or even better yet, in the last game I played my unit of 20 Orcs were so afraid of a mauled unit of 2 skeletons they didn't charge.

Peregijn
15-02-2010, 11:19
The Fear rules.. I have to say its not funny when a unit of 10 skeletons are so fearsome that a unit of 20 swordsmen don't dare to charge it. Or even better yet, in the last game I played my unit of 20 Orcs were so afraid of a mauled unit of 2 skeletons they didn't charge.

i thought that if you outnumber the fearcausing unit that you still could charge but that you would only be hitting on 6...

Artinam
15-02-2010, 11:31
Thats when your being charged by a Fear Causing unit. If your outnumbered when charged by a fearcausing enemy you automatically flee if you fails your test.

The whole fear test thing is what is having Bretonnians take more Knight Errant.

BigbyWolf
15-02-2010, 12:27
"Written by Matt Ward"

Yes, I'm an OnG player.

lord opium
15-02-2010, 13:37
"Written by Matt Ward"

If someone found out where he lived...

BigbyWolf
15-02-2010, 14:21
If someone found out where he lived...

Be warned though...if any serious danger threatens him he transports himself instantly back to the Realm of Chaos! ;)

Master Jeridian
15-02-2010, 14:26
Have to agree on Fear causing.

15 of your stoutest bitter Dwarfs with a Ld 10 lord will leg it from 20 Fear Causing enemies with a Ld 2 break test.

20 other soldiers, costing far less points aren't scared in the slightest...

lord opium
15-02-2010, 14:38
Be warned though...if any serious danger threatens him he transports himself instantly back to the Realm of Chaos!

haha I can just see him sitting on a throne laughing manically with loads of scribes around him writing his 'golden ideas' down :shifty:

BigbyWolf
15-02-2010, 14:57
haha I can just see him sitting on a throne laughing manically with loads of scribes around him writing his 'golden ideas' down :shifty:

It's official! Matt Ward is TZEENTCH!

ShaggothLord
15-02-2010, 16:34
The Nurgle spell in WoC that does not effect Amphibious models. There aren't any.

Leogun_91
15-02-2010, 17:15
The Nurgle spell in WoC that does not effect Amphibious models. There aren't any.Skinks are amphibious, it won't work against an army of those. There are other amphibian things too. Highelf character with mask of mersomething, actually skinks and that item is all I can think of at the moment but I'm sure there is more.

BigbyWolf
15-02-2010, 17:29
Skinks are amphibious, it won't work against an army of those. There are other amphibian things too. Highelf character with mask of mersomething, actually skinks and that item is all I can think of at the moment but I'm sure there is more.

All undead should be...they don't need air!

Although Grave Guard would probably sink, and Zombies would get eaten.

Dantès
15-02-2010, 17:50
All undead should be...they don't need air!

Although Grave Guard would probably sink, and Zombies would get eaten.

In that case, my Skaven army are actually otters, and therefore I benefit from the aquatic rule.

Avian
15-02-2010, 18:09
Skinks are amphibious, it won't work against an army of those. There are other amphibian things too. Highelf character with mask of mersomething, actually skinks and that item is all I can think of at the moment but I'm sure there is more.
It's a bit redundant because both Amphibious units and Ethereals tend to have high Initiative and next to no armour, so would only rarely be affected anyway.

Nice if you are a Kroxigor, though.

angelusmortis1384
15-02-2010, 21:08
All undead should be...they don't need air!

Although Grave Guard would probably sink, and Zombies would get eaten.

ZOMBIES: the new delicious un-nutritious snack from nestle... aslo come in chocolate flavour too :evilgrin:

horrorshowmalchick
15-02-2010, 22:00
Count yourself lucky you didn't have Cold Mountain as part of your English A level. I had to read the book at least twice and then the film over and over to keep it fresh in my mind ?.?

As for rediculous things written in an army book... I'd say my worst offender is probably the fluff for Korhil, I'm sure there's worse but that story had me cringing from the 'in a feat of strength uneard of from an elf, he wrestled the raging beast and throttled the life from its thrashing body'

Now elves either have massive brawler hands or white lions are smaller than your average house cat ;)

It's the first one. Look at the spearman plastics.

thenamelessdead
15-02-2010, 22:34
The skaven are everywhere and ready to strike at any time. No one believes they exist even though the empire, bretonnia, tilea, and the dwarfs have fought multiple major wars against them.

That one left me scratching my head too. GW need to decide if the Warhammer world is a dark, mysterious place where evil beings strike rarely and exist to most humans as mere rumours, or whether large scale war is a daily occurrance and most people pretty much know the score. You'd think they would, but I suppose none of us will get to know what living in a medieval time-frame is like. They didn't have messageboards in those days, so that's one drawback for starters!.

thenamelessdead
15-02-2010, 22:36
In that case, my Skaven army are actually otters, and therefore I benefit from the aquatic rule.

We gave our pet rat a bath last night and he didn't like it one bit. He was squealing for mercy because he seems to prefer to be caked in his own filth.

spriten
15-02-2010, 23:29
The mighty Rod of Fiery Death in the VC book. It is not flaming....

w3rm
16-02-2010, 01:54
Skinks are amphibious, it won't work against an army of those. There are other amphibian things too. Highelf character with mask of mersomething, actually skinks and that item is all I can think of at the moment but I'm sure there is more.

Boglars and the entire zombie pirates list are.

Dantès
16-02-2010, 02:05
We gave our pet rat a bath last night and he didn't like it one bit. He was squealing for mercy because he seems to prefer to be caked in his own filth.

Must be clan pestilens. Dont stand too close, you might have to roll a toughness test.

Most ridiculous thing written in an army book?

The fact that all Chaos Gods are pretty much buddy-buddy now. That really gets me. I can't stand when I see the youngins around here pulling out their horrors-flamers-bloodletters-led by a khorne herald. It's like they wanted to kill eachother dead one day, but they just woke up, looked at eachother, and started jumping up and down holding hands and dancing in a circle to the barney theme song.

Lord Malorne
16-02-2010, 02:11
That is the nature of chaos for you :rolleyes:.

someone2040
16-02-2010, 02:43
Skinks are amphibious, it won't work against an army of those. There are other amphibian things too. Highelf character with mask of mersomething, actually skinks and that item is all I can think of at the moment but I'm sure there is more.
No, they're Aquatic.
No such rule as amphibious.

Dantès
16-02-2010, 05:27
That is the nature of chaos for you :rolleyes:.

I miss the old army book :(

Chaos used to be so much cooler

Condottiere
16-02-2010, 07:39
When they seemed more holistic?

Leogun_91
16-02-2010, 08:00
The fact that all Chaos Gods are pretty much buddy-buddy now. That really gets me. I can't stand when I see the youngins around here pulling out their horrors-flamers-bloodletters-led by a khorne herald. It's like they wanted to kill eachother dead one day, but they just woke up, looked at eachother, and started jumping up and down holding hands and dancing in a circle to the barney theme song.
It is not written in any armybook. You must refer to the fact that they didn't write any restrictions but that is a game mechanic change in line with the current GW policy (cut down on restrictions), no where have they changed the fluff concerning this except in the warriors of chaos book where they added that gods give gifts according to what you do rather than who you worship and therefore a particularly bloodthirsty Tzeentch warrior could be gifted by Khorne and so on.

lord opium
16-02-2010, 14:38
actually in the the 4th ed (thats right isnt it?) chaos space marine book you couldn't have a khorne led army with tzeentch units in it, only if you had an undivided hq and im sure it was the same for fantasy?

Odin
16-02-2010, 14:46
The dwarf rule that makes them flee and chase as -1.

Can't remember what it's called but it starts out sounding like a good thing and then end up being a bad thing.

Perfectly sensible and characterful rule. It's been around pretty much as long as I can remember, always will be I expect. No idea what you could have against it.

Lord Malorne
16-02-2010, 14:47
Fantasy was the same I recall, with heroes needing a unit marked the same to be fielded.

Sygerrik
16-02-2010, 15:02
No, they're Aquatic.
No such rule as amphibious.

He's right. That's bizarre. And it wasn't covered in the FAQ, either. Is that foreshadowing of an 8th Ed rule, or a mistake they didn't catch, or a mistake that they didn't think was significant enough to warrant correction?

Lord Malorne
16-02-2010, 15:15
Its in 40k.

Tauren
16-02-2010, 15:24
page 1-96 of the new beastmen army book.

can anyone say wide-scale major castration? i feel sorry for these boys, to have their manhood taken away from them in their prime as well!!!

It's so true, yet... so excessively saddening.

Tauren
16-02-2010, 15:29
For me, one of them has to be what was written in the latest Beastmen book. It stated that a large tribe of Beastmen in Bretonnia will ocassionally manage to procure a large skull of a 'Ramhorn' and continue to place said skull atop Bretonnian castle gateways, at which point all the large monsters like Ghorgons etc. will think that its a rival and bash down the gate with impudence. This went on to say that its lucky that ramhorn skulls are rare because if they weren't Bretonnia would have been 'stomped beneath cloven hoofs centuries ago'.

Brilliant.

So essentially, the only thing standing between all of Bretonnia and utter destruction is a bunch of freaking oversized skulls. Ridiculous.

I actually thought this fluff was excellent. Basically they take the skull of a large stupid wild creature, put it on the front gate in the night, then goad another of the same creature out to see it. Dominance takes over and beastmen win the day. Just wish this was real in game.

phoenixlaw
16-02-2010, 15:32
Ok, this one made me laugh - really hard.
I choked and almost started crying when it dawned on me you might just be serious...

I sincerely hope you're not.


Anyways, most ridiculous thing for me would be the new BoC spell "Bestial Surge". Great, let's move all our forces towards the enemy, with no chance of getting a charge off. Then let's just stand there and wait for the enemy to pummel us.... :eyebrows:


Marcus

unless as some rumours say... magic phase moving to before movement phase

Col. Frost
16-02-2010, 15:33
I actually thought this fluff was excellent. Basically they take the skull of a large stupid wild creature, put it on the front gate in the night, then goad another of the same creature out to see it. Dominance takes over and beastmen win the day. Just wish this was real in game.

Just how would they manage to get the skull on the gate?

All that time spent to put it up they may as well of captured the castle the old fashioned way. I know M@A's arn't mensa candidates, but seriously..

"Wha's that Bert?"
"Dunno, looks loik a ruddy great skull being lifted onto the drawbridge by hairy blokes"
"Cor, you see's the strangest things when guardin don't thee"
"Aye"

Leogun_91
16-02-2010, 15:36
No, they're Aquatic.
No such rule as amphibious.They are still amphibious, read their description. Just beacouse they don't have a rule with the name it doesn't mean they aren't such. If a spell would say "the spell has no effect on creatures with horns" it would not effect beastmen even if they don't have s rule that says they have horns.

General Squeek Squeek
16-02-2010, 16:33
They are still amphibious, read their description. Just beacouse they don't have a rule with the name it doesn't mean they aren't such. If a spell would say "the spell has no effect on creatures with horns" it would not effect beastmen even if they don't have s rule that says they have horns.

They probably meant LM to count as amphibious, but by Raw if its not in their rules, they're not. Your example would never be used because I would just have to model my empire army with horns and voila' I'm now immune to the spell. I'm not saying that people should play LM skinks as non-amphibious, but you can't go by their fluff description when making a rules judgment.

Shadowsinner
16-02-2010, 21:20
Reading in the lizardmen book about how EVERYTHING from plant, to water, to animal, to bug will kill you. Looking at the idea that everything has barbs, teeth, and super poison, I am left to wonder how the Eco system possible survives against itself in those conditions...

then I turned to the map... and discovered the Guacamol Crater.

It took a lot of explaining to myself AND my girlfriend as to why we should take this game seriously

Avian
16-02-2010, 22:15
It took a lot of explaining to myself AND my girlfriend as to why we should take this game seriously
Better stay away from the Spoken Language section on page 39, then. ;)

Davo
16-02-2010, 22:56
Perfectly sensible and characterful rule. It's been around pretty much as long as I can remember, always will be I expect. No idea what you could have against it.

Yeah, anything with movement 3 or less had -1 to flee and pursue, not just Dwarfs. Note to younger/newer games that this did actually mean something as heavy armour would give you a -1 penalty to movement, footknights/elite infantry were slow! This was also in addition to penalties for barding, therefore M6 knights.

Apologies if that sounded patronising, I just like to reminisce.

Stronginthearm
17-02-2010, 01:59
Nahhhhh thats a silly idea, thats like saying poison shouldnt work on skelitons, or that the anvil should need LoS to shoot at things, this is warhammer our game makes sense

Leogun_91
17-02-2010, 07:29
They probably meant LM to count as amphibious, but by Raw if its not in their rules, they're not. Your example would never be used because I would just have to model my empire army with horns and voila' I'm now immune to the spell. I'm not saying that people should play LM skinks as non-amphibious, but you can't go by their fluff description when making a rules judgment. The only unit that has a rule that says it's a greenskin is gnoblars, things that affect greenskins still affects orcs though. It doesn't have to be written in RAW. If a spell effects amphibious units it affects units that are amphibious in fluff as there is no such rule.

Lord-Caerolion
17-02-2010, 09:03
It is not written in any armybook. You must refer to the fact that they didn't write any restrictions but that is a game mechanic change in line with the current GW policy (cut down on restrictions), no where have they changed the fluff concerning this except in the warriors of chaos book where they added that gods give gifts according to what you do rather than who you worship and therefore a particularly bloodthirsty Tzeentch warrior could be gifted by Khorne and so on.

Or more the fact that are people seriously trying to tell me that a Tzeentch Sorceror with the Collar of Korne is unfluffy, because there is absolutely no possible way ever that Tzeentch, the patron god of Magic and Sorcery, would ever be able to grant something Magic Resistance? Ok, lets say he doesn't actually have a Collar of Khorne, instead he has an Amulet of Tzeentch, which gives MR (2) and the Ward Save.
Or that all Nurgle models become big, fat and surrounded by flys? What about some Nurgle Warriors infected with Uber-Rabies, counting as the Mark of Khorne?

Chaos is incredibly varied, and there is very little that one God would be able to do and not another (rules-wise, at least). The only Chaos Warrior magic item I haven't been able to get a multi-God explanation on first glance is the Necrotic Phylactery. Every other item, as well as Marks, can be fairly easily explained as different manifestations of a Gods favour.

Lord Malorne
17-02-2010, 10:56
Thats how I think of it, the thing is though, the naming in the book does not help ;).

Davo
17-02-2010, 11:49
Thats how I think of it, the thing is though, the naming in the book does not help ;).

Didn't GW basically say in the old Battle Magic etc. supplements that such names were just one version of the magic item/gift? Their solution if I recall was if a Magic Item was called, for example "Killa the Gobbo's big ard club of smashing knights" and gave +1 strength and no armour save then you'd give it to your Empire Lord and make up your own name for it. I believe they also said make it a sword or whatever your model was carrying, basically the name and description was just a nice bit of fluff but you were encouraged to make your own. Simples.
I suppose this is less of an issue with almost entirely race specific magic items.

The above solution to Chaos gifts seems perfectly reasonable and fluffy to me.

Artinam
17-02-2010, 12:03
More generic names would have worked better I guess.

Condottiere
17-02-2010, 12:14
That's been tried in various games; sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

FailSafe07
17-02-2010, 15:49
Just a quick thought, it might be interesting in the future for the WoC and maybe DoC if certain items were generic, but you could buy something along the lines of marks for them.

So say, you have a Collar of Khorne-like item that grants MR1, you could then give it a Khorne "mark" to make it MR2 at an additional points cost. The "marks" would be restricted to characters or units with matching marks, while the generic items are available to anyone. Certain items could still be god specific without the choice of buying a mark on them.

bert n ernie
17-02-2010, 20:54
That would be somewhat reasonable, but that's not what players are being told to do, nor is it something everyone would even accept.
The fact of it is that Tzeench can Khorne units and marks with no explanation given that is even somewhat like yours. Instead it seems to be a complete turn around from what I have seen in previous books, and though a certain ammount of reworking is ok, a complete overhaul just seems lasy and unfaithful to me.
Sadly I think some gamers would complain that the 'rabid nurgle' were not WYSIWYG, although i really think that's the best solution.

Frep
18-02-2010, 04:26
I always have found the references to pike regiments in the Empire army book to be pretty strange, I mean seems like either somebody forgot to put a unit in the book, or they got confused with halberds.

Condottiere
18-02-2010, 10:50
Perhaps that was a conflict between the military historian and the game designer.

Angry Lawyer
18-02-2010, 17:10
Nahhhhh thats a silly idea, thats like saying poison shouldnt work on skelitons, or that the anvil should need LoS to shoot at things, this is warhammer our game makes sense

Poison was adequately explained as being anything that adversely affects whatever you're fighting, in some past edition, as an army would pick something tailored to its opponent.. Holy water is a poison to skeletons, so that's always worked for me.

-Angry Lawyer

Necromancy Black
18-02-2010, 23:24
Venom of the Firefly frog. If it can poison daemons it's gotta be able to melt bone :D

raymon
19-02-2010, 02:39
Yeah, this I have noticed as well, the skaven fluff of being unknown to the humans, while both Empire and Brettonian fluff describe to have fought a mayor war against them. If you become a gamedesigner, reading someone else his armybook is a SIN!

I use Halberdiers, and more people should, fluff demands it! The empire community must decide amongst them self who are the chosen ones who get one of the eight steam tanks.

And if the Ogres way of play on the warhammer battlefield would be like the fluff, they would be boring as hell to play. Just run up and brawl until the opponent fits in the frying pan. Luckily cunning, skill and luck is needed game wise.

And that chaos started to work together as a whole, that made me cry. Because fluff from the olden days stated that the only thing between them and total annihilation was the fact they waged war amongst themselves just as much as against the other races. We are doomed!

All that needless rewriting, and for what?

Necromancy Black
19-02-2010, 06:13
I still say letting the chaos join together wasn't as bad as getting rid of vampire bloodlines. It'll be a ton better if in order to spam zombies you had to be the right bloodline, denying you all those awesome close combat abilities.

Chaos could be made to work in some ways, like saying you can only have different marks if your general is undivided. If he takes a mark then you have to give all core units that mark or something.

HK-47
19-02-2010, 07:10
For me the biggest problem with the new armybooks is GW lack of vision, espically when it comes to new units. Almost all of the new units are big monsters , almost all are undercoated, and almost all have some silly rule that lets them own everyone.

Another area big area where GW has the creativity of an amoeba is in the fluff. Take the Lizardmen for example, you you have all the strange and wonderful species of reptiles, amphibians, and dinosaurs combine with the Aztec civilization, which has one of the riches mythologies ever, and what do you get a blue gecko riding a Pterodactyl, whose name is tic tac toe. Are you serious! What is he going to do, challenge the chaos daemons to a friendly match?

Leogun_91
19-02-2010, 12:10
And that chaos started to work together as a whole, that made me cry. Because fluff from the olden days stated that the only thing between them and total annihilation was the fact they waged war amongst themselves just as much as against the other races. We are doomed!Well they do that ocassionally. Still hasn't worked.

Makaber
19-02-2010, 13:47
For me, it's something that hasn't been written. The Warriors of Chaos Daemon Prince, while being "made of the stuff of Chaos itself", hasn't got magical attacks.

Bladelord
19-02-2010, 14:10
One ridiculous thing: The pts cost on Forsaken.

Leogun_91
19-02-2010, 14:25
For me, it's something that hasn't been written. The Warriors of Chaos Daemon Prince, while being "made of the stuff of Chaos itself", hasn't got magical attacks.Yeah...that's horrible. I didn't thought they had changed it and lost a battle beacouse of it.....a battlereport one as well.

Agnar the Howler
19-02-2010, 15:09
Not sure if it's been mentioned previously, but how characters in units don't have LoS to them. "Gah, where'd they go? I swear they were here before!"

N810
19-02-2010, 15:13
along that line... How about how casters can't see them selves anymore..?
(dang I knew I was here a minute ago..?)

Bladelord
19-02-2010, 15:21
That Helm of Many Eyes dont give a 360 arc LoS!

Makaber
19-02-2010, 15:34
Yeah...that's horrible. I didn't thought they had changed it and lost a battle beacouse of it.....a battlereport one as well.

I found out when I though I had a sure shot at the enemy ethereal Vampire Lord General in a 10.000 pts. event. :(

BigbyWolf
19-02-2010, 15:45
Poison was adequately explained as being anything that adversely affects whatever you're fighting, in some past edition, as an army would pick something tailored to its opponent.. Holy water is a poison to skeletons, so that's always worked for me.

-Angry Lawyer

That's another ridiculous thing...it shouldn't be "Poison", it should be "Venom", as poison is something that harms you through ingestion/ absorption, and venom is something that harms you through a delivery system, e.g. Snake/Spider fang, Arrow, etc.

I can just see a Dark Elf assasin jumping on top of his intended target and furiously rubbing Manbane into its scalp.

Still, it'd sort a dwarfs dandruff out a treat.

Or I could be over thinking it...if an arrow coated in venom enters your arm, said venom is absorped into the bloodstream...so I don't know anymore! I know a snake bite is venomous, that's 100%, but Fugu is poisonous, because it kills you when you eat it (if you get a really bad chef).

I've given myself a headache now...

Orcboy_Phil
20-02-2010, 07:25
Venom is toxin used by animals as a weapon or defensive mechnanism. Normally its injected either by teeth or a sting, though it can also be spat or just coated over yourself so eating you is a real bad idea.

Leogun_91
20-02-2010, 08:26
Luthor Huss causing fear beacouse of his reputation.
What?! Dwarf Ironbreakers, elites that have fought endless seas of greenskins will hesitate to charge him beacouse they heard he was good? These rumours have also spread to Lustria where savage hordes of Sauri fear him. Moonclaw, a creature from Morrsleib who is unable to speak have also heard the rumours and is afraid. And few are the elven princes that do not tremble when the name Luthor Huss is spoken.
Does he really have that much more of a reputation than the other special characters?

Freman Bloodglaive
20-02-2010, 08:55
Luthor Huss is the guy who makes those skulls that Beastmen like to hang on Bretonnian castles. Or so I've heard anyway...

In any room there are 5688 things that Luthor Huss can use to kill you, including the room itself. :)

I think fiery demagogue was supposed to be a rule that allowed him to impart hatred to characters, which is something that normal warrior priests can't do.

I think that he doesn't really deserve to cause fear, ItP would have been more appropriate.

BigbyWolf
20-02-2010, 09:12
Venom is toxin used by animals as a weapon or defensive mechnanism. Normally its injected either by teeth or a sting, though it can also be spat or just coated over yourself so eating you is a real bad idea.

Yeah, I figured the one involving animals was venom (for example, there are only two species of poisonous snake in the world...thank you Stephen Fry and QI), it's when said venom is put on the weapon that it confused me...but I'm over it now and back on track.

As we're talking unneccesary fear, I'll just throw Goblins fearing Elves because the act haughty and smell funny into the mix again.

I'm sure a Warrior of Slaanesh would also act haughty, and maybe even more so than an Elf. A Warrior of Nurgle would definitley smell funnier...but do the little green tykes fear those 8 foot tall mountains of muscle and armour? Hell no!

Orcboy_Phil
20-02-2010, 09:22
Yeah goblins fearing elves, is one of those historical rules anomales like animosity that should have been left in the pub long ago.

BigbyWolf
20-02-2010, 09:29
Yeah goblins fearing elves, is one of those historical rules anomales like animosity that should have been left in the pub long ago.

Animosity I can live with, although I could see goblins squabbling more than orcs, I don't think Orcs should get it, as I bet they'd much prefer getting stuck into the enemy.

Perhaps a change for the next book would be that adding a champion to the unit would make them immune to animosity, or at least give them a reroll. That would encourage people to take bosses in their units.

Bagsack
20-02-2010, 14:07
Don't know if this is already up but... Ostermark being one of the poorest provinces in the Empire, yet they have purple uniforms! The poorest people in the Empire have managed to purchase the most expensive and rare dyeing materials in the Old World. Maybe thats why they're so poor. :confused:

Logan_uc
20-02-2010, 14:25
eye of the gods, when you have over priced characters, an elite army, having to challenge whith every thing for something that only gives you a bonus if you are lucky, its just retarded. although seeing a marauder chiftain challengin a lord in a dragon is a good laugth.

Sygerrik
20-02-2010, 15:54
Don't know if this is already up but... Ostermark being one of the poorest provinces in the Empire, yet they have purple uniforms! The poorest people in the Empire have managed to purchase the most expensive and rare dyeing materials in the Old World. Maybe thats why they're so poor. :confused:

Actually Mordheim has a fun, fluffy explanation for this. Ostlanders are hillbillies, which means that they're super poor but whenever they get their hands on any money they buy ridiculously ostentatious things with it. They literally have to spend half of their money (or thereabouts) on one item after each game (like double-barreled rifles or gold-plated armor!)

So it kind of makes sense that they'd be filthy and starving but have hyper-expensive threads.

ftayl5
21-02-2010, 06:08
I personally found the whole "Mannfred is the genious behind EVERYTHING!" in the VC army book tedious to say the least.

yes... he's the genius behind everything :shifty: the secret of 'Gorpe Vath' remains safe

Not so much rediculous, but the entire Ogre Kingdom's book is hilarious, especialy if read aloud with a funny accent :)

"Boom! Hur hur hur..."
"Gnoblar punting"
"Just try and give 'im lip. He'll pull yer arms of and eat 'em before you've shut yer trap"


Rediculous things: ogres being strength 4 when Suarus warriors, skink cheifs, warrior priests... etc etc are also strength 4. Please, buy an ogre and a skink cheif and compare their biceps!!!!!!! C'MON!

Sorry 'bout the rant there but it's true

Also

Spell singer: "hmm my elven archers cant see anyone to shoot at... it's okay i'll just uproot this forest and move it over here, then re-plant it and ask the trees to start attacking the poor unit It landed on." :wtf:
Poor unit: "oh no these little branches and leaves are wipping at me and totally negating my heavy armour and shield, i'll just have to fall over and die" :wtf:
SPell singer: " all without even having line of sight :) ha ha ha ha haaaa....(team rocket's "Jesse" laugh"

BTW: funny stuff leogun_91, almost passed out reading that.
Luthor Huss is warhammer's Chuck Norris

Also the fact that a) Gorger's don't have frenzy
b) Konrad doesn't have frenzy
and c) blood knights DO have frenzy.
So to summarise; a crazy blood thirsty mutant beasty is not frenzied, an insane vampire isn't frenzied (unless he pulls out a dice and rolls a 4,5 or 6), but some moderately sane, horse riding lesser vampires are??

AND

How years of fluff stated that kroxigors where the heavy lifters, construction slaves, capable of carrying massive boulders and building the massive temples in lustria. But nwo thy have the same strength as their tiny sauri counterparts, and teh same strength as their tinier skink chief "superiors" :cries:

Condottiere
21-02-2010, 10:35
Anything you read aloud in a funny accent and/or over dramatically can be hilarious.

Tae
21-02-2010, 17:38
Anything you read aloud in a funny accent and/or over dramatically can be hilarious.

I read this out in a Queen Victorian accent. I was not amused.

bert n ernie
21-02-2010, 20:47
That's because her name is Victoria.

Agoz
21-02-2010, 21:19
A lot of rules whining in this thread. My understanding is that it's about ridiculous background. My contribution: the Skytitans. Seriously? They introduce a whole race of hyper-intelligent giants and kill them off within a paragraph? And there aren't even any Skytitan artifacts or an enslaved Skytitan? The Slavegiant was so tacked on, they could have made him actually interesting by making him a Skytitan and changing around his whole attacks table.

Giants are Sky titans, after the ogre tribes destroyed their civilization, the sky titans were scattered and took to in-breeding, creating the giants that exist today. As for Artifacts, well, the thundermace is made from a piece of masonry from a sky titan castle. This is all in the army book.

angelusmortis1384
22-02-2010, 00:07
That's because her name is Victoria.

I love this man, when can i marry you?

ftayl5
22-02-2010, 05:16
i wasnt rules whining by the way, I was whining about the way the rules dont reresent the fluff. Except teh wood elf bit, that was rules whining but meh..., a free high 5 to anyone who works out teh secret of 'Gorpe Vath'