View Full Version : Help me convince my wife to play 40k!

28-03-2010, 23:09
Ok, for some reason I've been noticing a lot of people mentioning their spouse's that play 40k with them and in their gaming groups.

I think it'd be really awesome if I could get my wife to play, but so far she has steadfastly refused. For all you guys who were able to get your wives to play, how'd you do it? Or did you get lucky with a geek-girl in the first place? Don't get me wrong, I love my wife and she's awesome, but we don't see eye to eye on 40k. And what I mean by that is she lets me do whatever I want and doesn't nag me unless I'm spending too much money, but keeps her distance from my gaming room :-)


28-03-2010, 23:12
If she doesn't want to dude, don't force her. Seriously, if she aint interested then harping on about it is going to do nothing but annoy her.

28-03-2010, 23:16
I managed to get my sister to try 40k out a long while ago. I know its a bit different to a wife but, ah well. I started to introduce my sister to the hobby when Black Reach came out. I went halves on a set with her, and gave her the choice of army, and she chose orks. I then asked her to buy herself a codex for the Orks and promised she wouldnt have to spend out again for a long time, including a promise to let her use all my paints and stuff. I think the main reason my sister decided to try 40k out, was using Black Reach kept the cost down for her, so if she decided 40k wasnt something she enjoyed (which she did unfortunately) then she hadnt suffered a huge financial loss. And oh yea, I had to promise to sell her Orks off for her, so she could make most of her money back.

28-03-2010, 23:21
Find a partner who plays already.

My Ex currently has as her facebook status - "2 losses, 1 draw, Officially confirmed as worst 40k player in Aberdeen" or something very similar to that...

A) If I wish to introduce people to gaming, then wouldn't start with 40K. I'm a member of a mixed club- ie it plays a wide variety of games, has a mixed age profile, and female members. Therefore you can bring a woman there without them being stared at as some weird and unknown creature. As it is an adults club, they also have a bar, and the members know what a shower is for, both of which are also useful.

Take people to a club like that, and let them play what they like. If they have fun, and enjoy the atmosphere, they'll come back, and will try other games, at which point suggesting 40K will be much easier.

B) She's your wife, you know here better than we do, if you don't know how, then we don't have a hope...

28-03-2010, 23:25
I feel its like, welll... hmmm. My ex was really in to Sex and the City. I watched it with her a few times, but really, I couldn't care less. Stuff like that just isn't my cup'o'tea.

Sometimes the things that really fascinate you is boring as hell to others.

Still, one other ex to me really enjoyed painting models, after I found some nice female models made by other companies (Hasslefree for example).
After that she started painting GW daemonettes, and now she is eyeing the Forgeworld Keeper of Secrets. :D

Her new bf (a nice dude) also plays 40k, and she almost has a complete daemon army, so he is trying to get her into the game. It's just a question of time. :)

28-03-2010, 23:52
All successful tactics at persuading one's wife to play 40k involve vacuum cleaners, hours at the sink, and sexual positions. These factors are sometimes combined, sometimes separate. The specific wife in question will only change the ratio of the above to each other.

29-03-2010, 00:37
1: ask opinion on recent model build/paint job (do this for a while)
2: ask for painting/modelling help
3: ???
4: Profit

29-03-2010, 00:39
If she let's you play just be happy.

29-03-2010, 00:46
Don't push it! My wife raises an eyebrow if I spend $8.00 on eBay. Shes probably thinking of a way to get you out of the hobby.

I tried with my wife but I gave up shortly after I started. I think couples that both game are likely to have met that way in the first place.

29-03-2010, 01:01
I don't know about you but wargaming is ME time. it's a chance to get away from my gf for a break (not that I don't love her, but everyone needs a break once in a while). If my girlfriend started coming well it just wouldn't be the same. Sure I'd be kind of happy, but this is something for me, not for us. It sounds a bit selfish but she has me activities too. She reads manga and talks about that and anime with friends, I like anime all right but I'm not really into it and that's fine with her, that's her thing. It's good to have some separate hobbies.

29-03-2010, 01:28
Seconded. I get to make a fool of myself when I game cos the wife aint interested. I'm not allowed at other times.

29-03-2010, 01:30
I have yet to see a wife who plays 40k that I thought should be playing 40k.
Here's a few reason's

1. She will feel it is appropriate to hang out with you and your friends when playing and nag you about all the things she does when they are not around.

2. She will play girly army, and do so poorly.

3. She will know how much stuff costs, and we all got our secret 40k wallets.

4. Your friends will think that it is great that your wife plays 40k, though none want to play with her.

5. It's called a "MAN CAVE" for a reason, No Girls Allowed!!!

That being said, I am not against girl gamers and if your wife was gamer before hand your a lucky man. If not , let her do her thing, you do yours.

29-03-2010, 01:33
My wife kicks me out of the house once a week -- for football or 40K, depending on the season -- so that she can do chores and watch crappy reality TV without me around. She doesn't want me to help with the housework, she wants me to GO AWAY.

It's pretty damn win-win. I'd be sad if she suddenly decided she really wanted to wargame. (About as likely as me developing a sudden interest in Dr. Drew and/or The Biggest Loser.)

29-03-2010, 05:59
Does she have any interest in modelling or painting? I know some gamer spouses who love paintng the models - some are happy to play too, others couldn't care less about the game itself.

But yeah, if she's honestly happy for you to play (and leave little gamey bits all over the house), then there's not a problem. No matter how much in lurv you (hopefully) are, you don't have to do everything together - you don't have to learn Conversational italian with her, and she doesn't have to game with you...

29-03-2010, 06:16
2: ask for painting/modelling help


It's not guaranteed to get her planning an apocalpse sized heavily themed CSM army but this is the best way to introduce a woman to the obsession, women are born with complex colour theory programmed into them, if you ask for advice on a colour scheme you're including them in a way they understand (and if you're a cynical wretch like me, they score a secret point because you've admitted you can't do it without them) with no need for knowledge in the factions or anything.

29-03-2010, 07:58
Wow Chem-Dog, i didnt think along those lines, you have an amazing understanding of womens minds, and im getting married in sept!! any tips? :D :D :D

But seriously, my fiancee has been playing for a couple of years, she is def abit of a geek more-so with tech than me. Her first army was Sisters (surprise) but being a really hard army to play an her going for all the crazy choices she liked and bare minimum sisters squads, she lost most of her games. Now shes working on an Ork army and has got alot of passion for them.

I guess what im trying to say is, when we lived in London we had a great group of friends who played, awesome vets nights at Kingston GW and we never pushed the hobby in her face... she came to us to ask about the hobby. And the first model she painted was a defiler for me for valentines day.... can i get an AAAAAWWWWWWWWW!

Not sure if any of that helps, but you cant throw it in her face or she will dislike/hate it more ;)

29-03-2010, 07:59
I gave up on mine. He wants nothing to do with gaming. Period.