View Full Version : Fresh meat - Ravenshead Rippers vs. Tenpole Tufty Club

30-12-2006, 22:46
Well, 'fresh meat' is quite inaccurate actually - the Rippers are starting to smell, despite Necromancer Yorkie's strict rules about using enbalming fluid regularly. Anyway, the two teams strode, ran or shuffled up to the line for this game on a beautiful afternoon. No-one but a pair of Orc ball-catchers started more than a few yards from the Line of Scrimmage, and the crowd leaned forward expectant of an instant brawl.

A zombie was kicking for the Rippers. He took a good run shuffle up to the ball and booted it with all his might. This led to the ball heading wildly off into the crowd along with his leg. After a quick reattachment the ball was given to a big nasty-looking Black Orc and the starting whistle blew. Instant chaos. Several fights broke out all along the pitch's width, to the crowds delight, though the only injuries were expendable zombies. The ball ended up possessed by the Orc side in a particularly ferocious fight at the edge of the pitch, where Fido made a Frenzied run into a Goblin, throwing him into the Orc ball carrier who was knocked into a group of Yorkie's friends in the crowd. Needless to say, we won't be seeing him next match, and the ball was thrown well into the Tuffty Club's half. Both werewolves charged after it along with Barry the wight but failed to secure it with a multitude of trips and failed dodges. Just as the ball was surrounded by Orcs Fido dashed in, grabbed it and jumped out, straight into a waiting Orc who knocked him straight out of the whole game. The ball was passed to a goblin waiting in the Necromantic half who ran and scored a few minutes bore half-time was called.

At the start of the second half the teams took slightly more cautious positions. The Ripper fans were obviously annoyed at the reduced strength of their team and decied to even the odds with a hail of rocks and broken bottles, stunning well over half the Orc team including both Black Orcs. Lassie took advantage of this and made a great run up the pitch. However, her speed meant she left her slower team-mates behind and she was mobbed by a couple of greenskins, sending the ball back into the now-rousing mass of them. They surrounded it quickly and despite a brave assault into the centre by Lassie the Tuffty club remained in possession and sent the ball up the pitch to score 2-0 in the last turn of the game.

After the match the Necromantic team lost some of the popularity they'd gained from dancing skeleton half-time shows and made a mere 30,000 gold pieces. They did have enough, however, to buy two more zombies. When asked why he wanted more, Necromancer Yorkie replied: "As a great dark lord once said; "Sacrificing minions - is there any problem it CAN'T solve?""

30-12-2006, 22:59
bonus points for the quote...


30-12-2006, 23:06
Indeed th0r. A truly brilliant Xykon line from Strip #192. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0192.html)

31-12-2006, 09:19
"Whatz dis ere 2-0" said Jaws the gruesome Black orc.
"It woz definitely 4-1 we badly hurt n maimed," pauses and tries to count his fingers,"er der four of their players and dey kicked Pigsy into da crowd breaking his jaw." he carried on.

Lord Tenpole sighed and shook his head "No the idea of the game is to get that leather ball to the other side of the pitch."

"Dat iz a stupid idea" he replied

31-12-2006, 17:16
Lmao. ;)

01-01-2007, 18:08
On second thoughts, this should be in the match report thread. Ah well, never mind, just remember not to follow my bad example.