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  1. #1
    Brother Sergeant Mc Haggis's Avatar
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    Mar 2005
    Ordo Hydra

    The Oracles’ Obituary

    I thought since I had the idea in the veterans’ forum about 2 years ago I should at least follow it through and say a few words now it looks like its over. Now if there’s one thing that you should take from this small obituary it’s that the whole ‘fanazine’ idea was mine, all mine I tell ya, no matter what you hear or see to disprove my words. Certain dastardly members of the forums have been trying to discredit me by dragging me from my fortified shanty town and putting me on trial in their medieval village. However while I have an extra two arms surgically attached to my torso I shall maintain the upper hand.

    The Oracle looks like it’s never to return, the previous 4 issues have gone with the server crash and so has the system for putting it online as well as the Oracle forums.
    Why’s it not coming back? Well no one seems to have said anything, at least nothing being said loud enough for anyone to take any notice, not even any of the original contributors, even me. Why? Well the Oracle went from a really good idea to a drag for nearly everyone involved. The tale of 4 gamers is really a short example of it, losing 50% of its members halfway though and the remaining 50% after that. The 5th issue would have been done eventually even if it took 6 months. The technology available to us was increasing and the issues looked more and more professional but yet it never looked like it would take off, the Oracle forum would lay dormant for fortnights at a time. It felt like school work rather than fun time.

    Also the editor and several of the contributors would take excessive amounts of drugs, so much sometimes that they would come into work at about 1 o clock in the afternoon wearing bright pink shirts and carrying trombones, this lowered staff morale as you can imagine.

    Thirdly we hit a rough patch when we realised that several contributors we had employed to write articles were in fact farmyard pigs and sheep. We spent long minutes trying to understand how they had the intelligence to word process without opposing thumbs but we think we have finally cracked it. In fact we harnessed this resource to fill some gaps in our issues including one piece of cover art. The real tragedy came when they were killed and eaten by a farmer. However one named ‘Toddy’ managed to gnaw through its restraining cable, jump the fence and now works in a high up position at the Daily Mail offices.

    Hey at least we gave the 4 gamers idea back to GW to put back in white dwarf, we’re all taking credit for that.

    P.S. If anyone has another webzine for me to write lies for, I come cheap.
    Last edited by Mc Haggis; 12-04-2005 at 21:37.

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