In addition to my movie theatre job, I also work about 15 hours a week at my college in the autoshop tool room. I get to check out tools to the students, and make sure everything works, is clean, accurate, etc.

Well, at the time I work I primarily have to deal with are the ROP and Auto 50 students, the high schoolers and the beginning auto learners. The 50 series classes are for the complete numbnut, anyone could take them and pass. Anyone.....except for these idiots.

I've lost count of every time some freak comes up and asks me in broken engrish for a 'rench.' We sign the tools out on a check list, and thats a common spelling. So's Tork Rench, soket, and some times they abreviate things. Like writing 'mag' instead of flex-handle magnet. Or socket instead of '13/16" 3/8 drive socket"

Some bright and shining examples of automotive tomfoolery.

One idiot came up, asked for a wrench. He just didnt catch on as fast as the others usually do, so its exceptional. Here's how the convo went.

"I need wrench."

Me- Yeah, what size?

"The guide say i need wrench."

Yeah, what size?

"See it say I need one."


"Is for niney two Acura Integra."


"For oil pan?"

Then I had a guy bring up half a cotter pin. For like, a castle nut for a rear brake drum or something. Half a cotter pin. Picture it, yes? He hands it to me, I look at it, and he says "I'd like a socket to fit that."


A socket? To fit half a cotter pin? I told him to go back and measure the goddamn nut. Took me a minute or two to convince him.

Then there's the kid who asked me for a metric half inch socket. Not a metric, half inch drive, socket. A METRIC HALF INCH. I say we got like a 13mm, and he's all "Ok I'll take that instead."

And of course who could forget the kid who not only fills in his scantron test with PEN, but he would have gotten the questions wrong even if he used pencil!

I've almost convinced my boss to keep a taser on hand for these guys. Next idjit to ask me for just a Wrench gets cooked!