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Thread: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

  1. #21
    Chapter Master Inquisitor Engel's Avatar
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    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    Parents are not the target audience for Pixar movies.

    These will be stocked in independent book shops in YA sections where kids can discover it on their own, in addition to the "pass it on" thing they're talking to current customers about. Anecdotally, there's a lot of parents who bond with their kids over painting and gaming. The Warhammer subreddits are full of it.

  2. #22
    Chapter Master Rogue Star's Avatar
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    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    It's interesting that as GW releases books for young'uns, they've also started a project called "Warhammer Horror"...

    https://www.warhammer-community.com/...oh-the-horror/

    So is this Games Workshop setting stories no holds barred, swearing, etc?
    “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” - William Shakespeare
    “Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torment of man.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
    “We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.” - Oscar Wilde

  3. #23

    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    Coming soon:

    - Warhammer Geriatrics
    - Warhammer Cosmetics
    - Warhammer Business
    - Warhammer Romance
    - Warhammer Slaanesh (18+)

  4. #24
    Chapter Master Rogue Star's Avatar
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    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    Quote Originally Posted by Ultimate Life Form View Post
    Coming soon:

    - Warhammer Geriatrics
    - Warhammer Cosmetics
    - Warhammer Business
    - Warhammer Romance
    - Warhammer Slaanesh (18+)
    https://www.warhammer-community.com/...ect-500-souls/

    Warhammer Monopoly?

    Nothing can stop the GW train, baby!
    “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” - William Shakespeare
    “Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torment of man.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
    “We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.” - Oscar Wilde

  5. #25
    Inquisitor Lord Damocles's Avatar
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    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    We've mentioned Warhammer leggings, right?

  6. #26
    Chapter Master Little Joe's Avatar
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    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    Quote Originally Posted by Rogue Star View Post
    It's interesting that as GW releases books for young'uns, they've also started a project called "Warhammer Horror"...

    https://www.warhammer-community.com/...oh-the-horror/

    So is this Games Workshop setting stories no holds barred, swearing, etc?
    Nope, first ones are old books. I read them all and they are 90s "sophisticated" novels. More role-play detective than anything you would call Warhammer. They are a bit rip off from well known stories as well.
    my general project thread

    [2020] painted: 3

  7. #27
    Brother Sergeant
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    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    I love all the reactions to these books. All the forums and youtube videos basically forming hordes of pitchfork wielding fanatics who have never given a poop about the fluff until suddenly!...they perceive SJW invasions and dumbing down of the already cartoonish "grimdark"

  8. #28

    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    Quote Originally Posted by ValentineGames View Post
    they perceive SJW invasions and dumbing down of the already cartoonish "grimdark"
    Well... surely you have noticed the lead roles in both works taken by girls and their trusty sidekicks, Angry White Dude, Professor X, Hammer Girl and T.O. Ken?

    Not saying it's inherently a bad thing but these roles are at least as clichéd as the Rambo or Conan tropes of the past by now. For everyone's information: Gender studies is a 90's thing and no longer en vogue. It seems that today's GW is less concerned with making good stories and rather being as politically correct as possible. Unfortunately reality isn't. I mean, how probable are these groups? Does anyone seriously expect the 11 year old girl to take the lead role in times of intergalactic crises? Yes, I'm judging these books by their cover.

    I recently bought one of the Warhammer Chronicles books, something I wholeheartedly regret because frankly it's not very good, but whenever a child character is introduced you can count on them being massacred within 2 chapters (or sometimes they are already dead). This, I believe, is a more realistic expectation.
    Last edited by Ultimate Life Form; 11-07-2018 at 11:02.

  9. #29
    Chapter Master Urgat's Avatar
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    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Joe View Post
    Nope, first ones are old books. I read them all and they are 90s "sophisticated" novels. More role-play detective than anything you would call Warhammer. They are a bit rip off from well known stories as well.
    So... in the Old World for the fantasy ones?

  10. #30
    Inquisitor Lord Damocles's Avatar
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    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    Quote Originally Posted by ValentineGames View Post
    I love all the reactions to these books. All the forums and youtube videos basically forming hordes of pitchfork wielding fanatics who have never given a poop about the fluff until suddenly!...they perceive SJW invasions and dumbing down of the already cartoonish "grimdark"
    I'm not sure that this is an entirely fair characterisation of those who have a concern that 40K doesn't exactly scream 'childrens books'.

    It doesn't help that what little information we have on the characters and plots show us the pacifist daughter of a borderline heretic teaming up with a traitor and a techno-heretic to (presumably) not be instantly killed by Necrons and/or Marines.

    If Goto or Ward had given us that there would be rioting in the streets!

    The amount of pitchfork wielding isn't really any greater than during the response to the End Times or Gathering Storm; and those who are concerned that there may be a politicisation of Warhammer underway are largely balanced out by those who cry about 40K [fans] being misogynistic, or encouraging the abuse of animals, or whatever.

  11. #31
    Chapter Master Rogue Star's Avatar
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    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Damocles View Post
    I'm not sure that this is an entirely fair characterisation of those who have a concern that 40K doesn't exactly scream 'childrens books'.

    It doesn't help that what little information we have on the characters and plots show us the pacifist daughter of a borderline heretic teaming up with a traitor and a techno-heretic to (presumably) not be instantly killed by Necrons and/or Marines.

    If Goto or Ward had given us that there would be rioting in the streets!

    The amount of pitchfork wielding isn't really any greater than during the response to the End Times or Gathering Storm; and those who are concerned that there may be a politicisation of Warhammer underway are largely balanced out by those who cry about 40K [fans] being misogynistic, or encouraging the abuse of animals, or whatever.
    40K is everything and anything it needs to be. 40K used to have scenarios about capturing a rogue group of orangutan-like aliens that had escaped a travelling space circus in order to force them to build doomsday weapons. A bunch of children surviving in 40K, isn't unexpected. Presumably, all those 40K adults once where children and they managed to survive, so it seems to setting isn't so grimdark as to be instant-death to anything that doesn't have a stub-pistol at birth...

    Honestly, there's talk on facebook that the author received various threats and hate mail purely because he's written a book for children. Which isn't even out yet. Those 40K fans, if we even grace them with that term, need to do us all a favor and shoot themselves in the face.
    “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” - William Shakespeare
    “Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torment of man.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
    “We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.” - Oscar Wilde

  12. #32

    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    Quote Originally Posted by Rogue Star View Post
    Honestly, there's talk on facebook that the author received various threats and hate mail purely because he's written a book for children.
    The internet is a beautiful thing isn't it.

    I'm constantly amazed that we have the means and technology to turn this planet into a paradise yet people choose to waste 90% of their energy bickering over completely trivial and nonsensical things. The crown of creation indeed.

  13. #33
    Chapter Master Urgat's Avatar
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    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    The irony

  14. #34
    Mors Cattus Moderatus
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    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    Quote Originally Posted by Ultimate Life Form View Post
    ...... yet people choose to waste 90% of their energy bickering over completely trivial and nonsensical things. The crown of creation indeed.
    Yes, it is rather silly raving about something not aimed at a particular demographic and it's certainly not acceptable to send death threats to someone just because they are going to write something not aimed at you. Overreactions all over the place.

  15. #35
    Inquisitor Lord Damocles's Avatar
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    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    Here's the first chapter of Attack of the Necron

    CHAPTER ONE

    Intruders

    Zelia Lor awoke to the sound of buzzing in her cabin. She groaned. What time was it? Her bunk creaked as she turned over, pulling her thick woollen blanket with her. Surely that couldn’t be the alarm already? The shrill drone continued, flitting to and fro near the ceiling. Zelia pulled the blanket over her head, but the noise persisted. Throwing back the covers, she peered up into the gloom. That was no alarm. There was something up there, darting back and forth.
    ‘Hello?’ Zelia called out, her voice croaking from lack of sleep. She’d been up late last night, helping her mum catalogue artefacts in the ship’s cargo bay. A series of high-pitched chirps and whistles came from somewhere near the ceiling. Zelia reached out, feeling for the luminator switch next to her bunk. Glow-globes flickered into life, the tiny
    invader squealing in surprise as it was bathed in sudden light. Zelia frowned as her eyes focused on her flighty visitor. It was a servo-sprite, one of the small winged robots that her mother used on board their planet-hopper, the Scriptor. The whimsical little things had been created by her mother’s assistant, Mekki. They had tiny bronze bodies and spindly limbs, with probes and data-connectors for fingers and toes. Their heads were long, with wide optical-beads for eyes that gave the little automata a constant look of surprise. Mesh wings whirred on the robot’s back, producing the strident buzz that had woken Zelia.
    ‘What are you doing up there?’ Zelia asked, rubbing sleep from her eyes. The servo-sprite chattered nervously at itself. If Zelia didn’t know better she would have thought the thing
    was agitated, but like all the robots her mother used on their expeditions servo-sprites were just machines.

    Elise Lor was an explorator, a scholar who travelled the length and breadth of the Imperium excavating technology from years gone by, and who often dreamed of digging up artefacts from the Dark Age of Technology, that period thousands of years ago when machines thought for themselves. Those days were long gone. Like so many things in the
    41st millennium, artificial intelligence was a heresy, prohibited by order of the Eternal Emperor himself. While Mekki’s creations sometimes acted as if they were alive, they were just following their programming. They were tools, nothing more. However, something must have spooked the little automaton for it to squeeze through the gap beneath her cabin door. Gooseflesh crawled over Zelia’s skin. Why would a servo-sprite hide? Something was wrong. Swinging her legs off the bunk, Zelia gasped as her bare feet touched the cold metal deck. The floors of the Scriptor were supposed to be heated, but like most of the systems on the ramshackle spaceship, the heating hadn’t worked properly for months. The planet-hopper was old – very old – and its systems often failed faster than Mekki could fix them. But for all its glitches, the Scriptor had been Zelia’s home since she was born. She knew every creak of the hull, every bleep of the central cogitator. The low thrum of the engines lulled her to sleep every night. They were a comfort, especially during long journeys across the Imperium, rocketing from one dig to another. It was an odd, topsy-turvy life, helping her mum uncover crashed spaceships or ancient machines on distant worlds all across the galaxy, but Zelia wouldn’t have it any other way.

    But now, the Scriptor didn’t feel comforting. It felt uneasy, and Zelia had no idea why. Pulling on her jacket and bandolier, Zelia tapped the vox stitched into her sleeve. The communicator beeped, opening a channel to the flight deck.
    ‘Mum? Are you there?’ There was no reply, neither from mum, nor Lexmechanic Erasmus, her mother’s archaeological partner and an expert in galactic languages, both
    ancient and alien. There was no point trying to contact Mekki. Her mum’s young assistant was a whizz with technology, but hardly ever spoke to Zelia, even though they were around the same age. At twelve, she was a full year older than Mekki was, but they were largely strangers, the Martian boy preferring the company of his machines. Zelia didn’t mind. If she was honest, Mekki made her a little uncomfortable. He was so intense, with his pale skin and cold grey eyes. Still, he would know what to do with a flustered servo-sprite. The robot bumbled around her head as she opened the cabin door. She swatted it away, but it stayed close as she stepped out into the corridor. The passageway was quiet, electro-candles spluttering along the creaky walls.

    The door to her mum’s cabin was ajar, and Zelia could see it was empty. For a woman who spent her life cataloguing artefacts, Elise Lor was incredibly untidy. Curios from her travels were crammed into nooks and crannies, while towers of textbooks and battered data-slates teetered on every available surface. Elise’s library was spread throughout the ship, piled high along the narrow gantries. How mum ever found anything was a mystery, and yet she always seemed to be able to put her finger on any text at a moment’s notice.

    But where was she now? Zelia crept down the corridor, checking Erasmus’s cabin, but the elderly scholar was nowhere to be seen. He wasn’t in his room or on the mess deck where the Scriptor’s crew gathered to eat. Zelia checked the chrono-display on her vox. It was early, barely sunrise. Had mum and Erasmus gone to the dig already?
    Zelia jumped at a noise from the back of the ship. Something heavy had been dropped, the deep clang echoing around the planet-hopper. That had to have come from the cargo bay, where Elise stored their most valuable discoveries.
    They had been on this planet, a remote hive world called Targian, for three months now, and the hold was brimming with ancient tech. Of course, the noise could just have been Mekki, checking through the previous day’s finds, but somehow, she knew it wasn’t. Mekki was a lot of things, but clumsy wasn’t one of them. He would never drop something if he could help it. As the servo-sprite fussed around her head, Zelia picked up a heavy-looking ladle that Elise had used to slop grox stew into their bowls the night before. It wasn’t much of a defence, but it would have to do.

    Zelia inched towards the cargo bay, praying that she’d find Mekki on the other side of the hold’s heavy doors. She paused, listening through the thick metal. There was a flurry of movement on the other side of the door, the scrape of leather against deck-plates, and then silence. Trying to ignore the increasingly frantic buzzing of the servo-sprite, Zelia stepped forwards and the doors wheezed open.
    ‘Hello? Mekki, are you in here?’ There was no answer. The cargo bay was silent, the lights kept permanently low to protect the more valuable artefacts. She crept through the
    collection, tall cabinets on either side. Something moved ahead. Her grip tightened on the ladle.
    ‘Mekki? Seriously, this isn’t funny.’
    A boot crunched behind her. Zelia whirled around, swinging the ladle.
    ‘You need to be careful,’ a gruff voice said. ‘You could hurt someone with that!’
    Zelia cried out as thick fingers caught her wrist. They squeezed, and the metal spoon clattered to the floor.
    ‘That’s better.’ A stranger loomed over her, muscles bunched beneath a scruffy vest festooned with brightly coloured patches. His hair was styled into a lurid green mohawk, a tattoo of a large red cat leaping over his left ear. It was a Runak – a ferocious scavenger native to Targian with jagged scales instead of fur. Zelia had only seen the creatures out on the plains, but imagined they smelled better than the thug who was threatening her in her own home. ‘Let go of me,’ Zelia cried out, trying to pull away.
    ‘I don’t think so, ladle-girl,’ the tattooed thug leered, before calling over his shoulder. ‘You can come out. It’s only a little brat.’ Brat? The thug must only have been a year or two older than Zelia. He was strong though. There was no way of breaking his grip. More strangers slipped out of the shadow – two boys, and a girl with spiked purple hair and a glowing eye-implant. They all wore similar patches on their jackets, obviously members of the same gang.
    ‘What do you want?’ Zelia squeaked, and her captor smiled, showing uneven, stained teeth.
    ‘That’s a good question.’ The thug glanced around, his small, cruel eyes scanning the rusting relics on the shelves. ‘We thought this place would be full of treasure, didn’t we, Talen?’
    The ganger behind him nodded. This one wasn’t as big, but still looked like he could handle himself in a fight. His blond hair was cropped short at the sides and a small scar ran through one of his thick, dark eyebrows. He held no weapons in his gloved hands, but Zelia couldn’t help but notice the snub-nosed beamer hanging next to the leather
    pouch on his belt.
    ‘That’s what you told us, Rizz, but it looks like a load of old junk to me.’
    ‘Yeah, old junk,’ Rizz parroted, pulling Zelia closer. ‘Where’s the real booty?
    Where’ve you stashed it?’
    ‘This is all we have,’ Zelia told him, glancing down at the hefty weapon Rizz held in his free hand. The ganger had fashioned a mace out of a long girder topped with a blunt slab of corroded metal.
    ‘You like my spud-jacker?’ Rizz said, brandishing the makeshift weapon. ‘I call her Splitter. Do you want to know why?’
    ‘I think I can guess,’ Zelia replied.
    ‘’Cos, I split skulls with her,’ he said anyway, as if she were the idiot, not him. ‘Ain’t that right, Talen?’ The blond-haired juve shifted uncomfortably, glancing nervously at the
    cargo bay doors. ‘We should go, Rizz. There’s nothing here.’ Rizz glared at the younger kid. ‘Oi. I give the orders. Not you.’
    ‘Then order us to get out of here. We’re wasting our time.’
    Rizz swung around, nearly pulling Zelia off her feet.
    ‘I’ll waste you in a minute,’ he growled, brandishing Splitter menacingly.
    Zelia saw her chance and took it. She lashed out with her foot, kicking Rizz’s shin.
    ‘Ow!’ he yelped, spinning her around so she crashed into the nearest cabinet, cogs and gears tumbling all around her. Zelia snatched a length of metal piping from the floor, but a swipe of the spud-jacker sent it flying across the cargo bay.
    ‘Nice try,’ Rizz sneered above her. ‘But I’m not going to ask you again. Where’s
    the valuable stuff? Where are you hiding it?’
    ‘I told you,’ she shouted back, gripping her aching fingers. ‘This is all there is.’
    ‘Liar,’ Rizz bellowed, raising the spud-jacker high above his head.
    ‘Splitter hates liars, and so do I.’ With a feral roar, he brought the mace crashing down.
    One might wonder why Elise can employ the services of a lexmechanic, but apparently has to rely on an eleven year old child in place of a techpriest (and has no security or catering staff?); or why a machine just following its programming can be nervous/surprised/spooked/hiding; or how the Scriptor seems to be a planet-hopper yet warp-capable ship which is also able to land [Hellforged flashbacks]; or why you'd keep photosensitive material mixed with everything else in the cargo bay and not put it in its own storage area so that you could turn the lights on and not get ambushed by pre-teen hoodlums... But not me. I'd never wonder such things.

    Well, maybe the cargo bay thing...

  16. #36
    Chapter Master Little Joe's Avatar
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    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    Quote Originally Posted by Urgat View Post
    So... in the Old World for the fantasy ones?
    Sorry, failed to reply. More like very generic setting and the names world edge mountains and Altdorf. The world is there, but more as a backdrop for generic setting copied from classic literature. Phantom of the Opera, Dracula and so on. It is pretty much the stories mixed.



    That text is not bad as a stand alone text. Many short words, written for children. I wonder how they are supposed to know what some words mean, but I guess they can ask their parents. I do not know enough of 40k to see problems, just that the child gang is too nice (only the leader gangs up on her) and somehow xenophobic human kids follow an alien.
    The small machine is clearly a set-up for a story arc where Mekki has created an AI (in his spare time of course).
    my general project thread

    [2020] painted: 3

  17. #37
    Chapter Master Rogue Star's Avatar
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    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    Gotta say, the Age of Sigmar version is dark for a children's book... we open to the pre-teen lead being an overworked slave to Chaos barbarians, whose mother dies as a slave, making her determined to escape, which she does when Stormcast Eternals attack the slave camp...

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Joe View Post
    and somehow xenophobic human kids follow an alien.
    ... the kids are following an alien?
    Last edited by Rogue Star; 25-09-2018 at 23:16.
    “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” - William Shakespeare
    “Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torment of man.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
    “We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.” - Oscar Wilde

  18. #38
    Chapter Master Little Joe's Avatar
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    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    Rizz:
    It was a Runak – a ferocious scavenger native to Targian with jagged scales instead of fur.
    Leader of the kids gang in the cargo hold, does not sound human to me.
    my general project thread

    [2020] painted: 3

  19. #39

    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    Quote Originally Posted by Rogue Star View Post
    Gotta say, the Age of Sigmar version is dark for a children's book... we open to the pre-teen lead being an overworked slave to Chaos barbarians, whose mother dies as a slave, making her determined to escape, which she does when Stormcast Eternals attack the slave camp...
    Age of Sigmar Episode I - The Phantom Menace


    P.S. I would love this book to be set in the world-that-was so I would be able to comment on in what ways they butchered the lore but alas it's AoS so why even bother.
    Last edited by Ultimate Life Form; 26-09-2018 at 06:30.

  20. #40
    Chapter Master Rogue Star's Avatar
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    Re: Warhammer Adventures - GW Children's Books

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Joe View Post
    Rizz:

    Leader of the kids gang in the cargo hold, does not sound human to me.
    His tattoo is of an alien beast. Like getting a space tiger on his arm or something. The Imperium is fine with that.

    a tattoo of a large red cat leaping over his left ear. It was a Runak – a ferocious scavenger native to Targian with jagged scales instead of fur.
    Last edited by Rogue Star; 26-09-2018 at 11:21.
    “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” - William Shakespeare
    “Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torment of man.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
    “We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.” - Oscar Wilde

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