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    Chapter Master the1stpip's Avatar
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    Jan 2007
    Lincoln, England

    Da Tale of da big red squig

    Seeing as how GW have just released their version of Moby Dick on Warhammer Community here that I would post my own Squig Hunters army that I have been working on for the last couple of years.

    First up, is the tale of Kaptin Zagsmak and Big Red (yes, it is very loosely based on Moby Dick).

    Da Great Squig Hunt
    ‘Dey callz me Gitsmell’ the old Mek slurred, gesticulating with the bottle of grog in his left hand ‘and I iz gonna tell uze da story of Kaptin Zagsmak and iz ‘unt for da great squig, Big Red’. The boyz huddled around the Waaagh banner, hundreds of beady red eyes fixated on the stooped figure pacing to and fro in front of them. Many of the boys had heard this story before, but Gitsmell always embellished the story further. None knew whether this was due to his deft story-telling abilities, or simply because the Mek had been the centre of one too many explosions and was due a visit from the Dok.
    ‘Wen I was a yung Ork, I wuz part of Zagsmak’s tribe. We wuz wun ov da biggest tribes on da planet’. Gitsmell swung his arms in a large circle in front of him to emphasise the enormity of the planet. ‘It wuz a desert planet, wiv lots of diff’rent tribes, but dey wuz all scared ov Zagsmak. ‘E was a thinka, a Blud Axe, and ‘e fought about ow ‘e wuz gonna attack ‘is en’miz’. Gitsmell tapped the side of his head with his finger – nobody trusted Blood Axes with good reason, dirty tactical gits. But nobody could argue that they made good bosses.
    Gitsmell continued, his audience enthralled by this majestic tale. ‘Da Weirdz sed that dey cud feel da Waaagh cumin’ and Gitsmell grabbed his head with both hands, shaking his head and sticking his tongue out as to mock the Weirdboys. ‘Zagsmak was getting bigger, and all ov der uvver bosses saw ‘ow big ‘e was and dey wanted to be like ‘im. Dem and der tribes came and joined Zagsmak’.
    Gitsmell held up a single finger ‘But’ he warned his audience ‘wun day, sumthink even bigga an’ ‘arder dan Zagsmak came to tarn. ‘It woz an ‘ot day and da boyz wer restless. Da boss woz kikin’ da grotz ‘round cos dey lookt at ‘im all funny’. Gitsmell’s grin got even wider, reaching right across his scarred face. Da lukowts saw a big cloud o’ dust a long ways art from da tarn. Zagsmak wuz egsited, ‘e wuz bord an’ wannied sum axshun.’ Gitsmell threw his arms up in the air and then proceeded to beat his chest in a rhythmic beat reminiscent of a drummer maintaining a heavy bass line.
    Gitsmell continued to pace up and down in front of his crowd, taking exaggerated steps to encourage the building excitement of the crowd. Many of the boyz in the audience had also started slapping their legs or each another, and not all of them could keep the same beat that Gitsmell had started, but nobody cared; they were all having too much fun for a simple concept like rhythm.
    ‘Da uge clowd ov dust kept gettin’ bigga and Zagsmak went an’ got iz Klaw owt ov da ‘ut’. Gitsmell put his thumb and fingers together and opened them again repeatedly, pretending to be operating a power klaw. ‘E raced to da gates wer da dust woz, stud in front ov iz nobz ready for da fite’.
    ‘An den der it woz. It was a ginormous squig. It woz bigga dan a ‘naut an it was angry. Or maybe it wuz ‘ungry’. Dunno, but da boss didden care like. He stood der, eyes squinted, waitin for dat big squig’. At this point, Gitsmell did a very good impression of a gunslinger, holding a wide stance, hand hovering over his slugga on his belt, ready to go toe to toe with ginormous beast.
    ‘As der squig tundered into da gaff, Zagsmak yelled at da big beastie and ran ova to it, shootin’ at it wiv ‘is kustom shoota, but da shells jus’ bounced off da squigs fick ‘ide’. Da boss ran up to da lukowt tower and ‘e jumpt off ov da top, landin’ smak bang on top of da squig. ‘E dropt ‘is shoota soze dat ‘e cud ‘ang on and den ‘e rammed ‘is klaw rite inta da squig’. Gitsmell jumped up and as he landed, he dropped into a crouching position, hands down as if he had just smashed the floor with a hammer. A couple of the grots who had wandered by and had fallen entranced with the story shrieked and scampered off at this display of fury.
    ‘But da Squig was angry an’ it jumped and run arand, tryin’ to shek da boss off’. Gitsmell ran around in a circle, alternatively leaping and crouching in what looked like a primitive weirdboy-type chant.
    ‘Da Boss cudent ‘ang on, and da Squig frew ‘im up in da air like a doll, and as ‘e came back darn, da Squig snapped and bit ‘iz leg orf. Da Boss tried to ‘op ova to da Squig, muttering ‘itz ony a scratch’ but da Squig had jumpt off afta sum uvver grub’ and Gitsmell hels his leg up behind him, hopping on one leg as he went around the campfire.
    Gitsmell crouched low, conspiratorially whispering to his audience. ‘Da Boss woz fooriuz’ he spoke in a low tone, ‘an’ ‘e vowed revenj on da beastie, an’ ‘e gavvered iz boyz up and went afta da Squig. ‘E would av ‘im as a pet, ‘an ‘e wud ride ‘im inta da Waaagh’.
    One boy in the crowd piped up ‘wot append to da Boss?’
    ‘Oo nows’ Gitsmell replied, tapping his nose ‘der iz sum dat sez ‘e still rides afta da Squig’. Sum say ‘e went inta Gork’s grin to find ‘Ol Big Red. Maybe ‘e still iz unting da biggest, baddest prey dat der eva woz’.

    And with that, Gitsmell went over to the meat rack and took a large joint of meat off of the rack, and went back into the circle, waiting to listen to the next story to be told to the eager boyz.
    Last edited by the1stpip; 14-06-2021 at 22:12.
    He's a semi aquatic, egg laying mammal of action.

    To Insanity... and beyond.

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