The ABC Discussion Pit (OOC)

[Grimskull Gutslusher]

It falls to the flawlessly witty and inflammably haired CEO Benjamin Kasen to introduce you all to the ABC . . .


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Welcome!

Welcome one and all, to the ABC.

This is the Out-of-Character Discussion Thread for the comediepic RPG referenced above.


What is the ABC?

The ABC, or, to those of you with a pathological fear of the Roman alphabet, the Anti-Badger Crusade, is your one-stop shop for badgers, more violence than you can shake a stick at, and more sticks than you’ll know what to do with.

From one perspective, it is an epic tale of interstellar war, wherein a brave group of elite warriors from every path in and outside of the 40K universe – Guardsmen, Orks, Dark Eldar, Space Wolves, Werewolves, Demifoxes, Businessmen, Inquisitors, Ninjas, Psykers, Chaos Marines, and, at one point, a vending machine – do battle with the Badger Empire, a threat ignored by the Imperium at large.

Using a slightly less deceptive set of words, it’s a long-running action-adventure series with vast tracts of slapstick humor, self-parodizing conspiracies, and unnecessary violence. It’s been running for some 20,000-odd posts back on the original server Portent, evolving from its humble roots as a joke about forum members gone missing due to the work of badgers, to the grand narrative that unfolds before you, with a vast and shifting cast of characters.

And you’re welcome to be a part of it.


A word of note: The 40K universe depicted here is not the Grim Darkness of the Far Future. The Thirsting Gods are there to be laughed at, and preferably wedgied. Those of you who want your tales of gothic horror and multi-millenia-old revenge can go submit novels to GW.


How do I join?

Two easy steps.

1) Create a character.

This can be virtually anything you find would be an interesting character to play. You might be with this person for a while, so try to have a little room for depth; while a sentient vending machine may be good for a chuckle, it hardly plays the distance. Don't worry about sides - the Badger Menace is greater even than the rift between Chaos Marine and Inquisitor, although intra-group tension certainly has its place.

Disclaimer: If you play anything with the power of a C'tan that can crush a Thunderhawk by focusing on its own left testicle, you will be laughed at and sent home. If you come to us with anything that references Dragon Ball Z, you will be shot on sight. Yes, over the Internet. We have ways. No jury will convict us.

2) Get online and talk to us.

Simply get on MSN and speak to myself, Leviathan, or Grimskull Gutslusher. If you don't have MSN, get it. This is the primary medium of communication between ABC'ers. We'll talk to you, help you flesh out your concept a little more, work out a way to get you in, maybe even laugh at your expense. Although that last bit won't probably happen unless you ignore our earlier disclaimers.


Good luck, and obscenely ecstatic hunting!

Benjamin Kasen
ABC Minister of Random Disappearances

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For those insane enough to be interested, those contact emails are available both in the forum profile of the respective people, and here if you're lazy:

Leviathan: davison_pedro @hotmail.com
Grimmy: squigletexpress @hotmail.com
Kasen: I'll put it in when he's ok'ed it.

[Grimskull Gutslusher]

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(Quote the post so you can copy and paste the bold tags as well as the actual text, save me 10 minutes. )

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[Grimskull Gutslusher]

Name: Grimskull Gutslusher
Rank: Lord Exquisitor
Division: ABC Quisition
Race: Ork
Age: Approximately 120 terran years. He never really counted.
Gender: Uh . . . Ork?
Nicknames: Grimmy, GG, Slow-arsed Fat Git.

Features: 11 and a bit foot of solid Orky muscle . . . generously coated in flabby Orky fat. He sports a cybork body built with whatever ol’ Doc Hannibull had to hand that day in ‘da surjery’, most notably covering the right temple and eye, which glows red and blue depending on Grimskull’s mood. Overall: Big.

Gear: Top of the line mega-armour with in-built squig medical system and enough extras to put James Bond and Inspector Gadget to shame. Shame he used that manual as a fungus brew coaster before remembering to read it.
And of course, his left arm is a power klaw. Mr Krunch in fact – the shiniest power klaw around. No actual polishing takes place.

Likes: Squiglets, fighting, Leviathan, bossin’ gits, squiglets, other ABCers, his pet squig Mittens, fighting and squiglets.

Hates: Badgers. Gits. Running out of Squiglets. Running. Jogging. Jumping. Human sized vessels – they never have big enough seats.

Personal Bio:

On appearance: A huge and viciously brutal ork warlord with a cybork body and a powerklaw the size of a man.

The reality: A big softie, who holds his friends dear but still likes to ‘stick some zoggin’ boot in’ because he’s got to keep up on appearances, right?
More often that not Grimskull will miss the big fight, either by his own (mistimed) love for Squiglets or by a display of some of the worst non-fatal luck and fumbles experienced by any creature over a hundred years old anywhere.

Has an intelligence level not usually associated with orkdom, but his true intelligent mind is generally not readily apparent without closer inspection, disguised as it is behind his hearty and uncomplicated approach to life and by his awkward and bumbling clumsiness.
Grimskull, after a hundred-odd years in the fast paced and brutal warlording business finds himself now as the head of an enforcing and intelligence branch of the ABC, with his best friend an idealistic human. Often together, their teaming makes one almost competent hero in most situations.


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Name: Nexus6 (This is due to an unfortunate drinking incident back in the Guard after which he was convinced to get his name officially changed)
Rank: Ex-Colonel, former commander of the Pyronian 5th “Lummy Hunters” the remains of which were killed during an escape from a badger planet.
Division: FARTS
Race: Human
Age: It’s not polite to ask a lady his age. Okay late 20’s early 30’s.
Gender: Male
Nicknames: Nex . . . ‘Gitface’ to Grimmy.

Features: One hell of a sense of humour.

Gear: A wide and varied amount of tech that he regularly “borrows” from the FARTS armoury. And a Leather Trench coat when the mood takes him.

Likes: Unlocked doors, Petty larceny (Q Motor Pool), Knives, Fire, Explosives, Bar Maids…the list could go on for quite a while but you get the idea.

Hates: Badgers (well that’s the no brainer out the way), Security Systems, Space Marines (except Grey), The ominous *Click…*

Personal Bio:

Grimmy: For some reason, I imagine Nex as the type of guy who would go to a feminist conference and start telling lesbian jokes over the PA system.

Suffers from some rather disturbing mental problems, by human standards, after being the last survivor of the destruction of the Lummy Hunters and being forced to hide and fend for himself inside the Badger Empire for a long period of time before finally reuniting with the ABC. These do seem to mostly manifest as pyromania.


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Name: Grey Painter
Rank: ABC Counsellor and keeper of shiny things and haribos. Also Grand Marshal of FARTS
Division: FARTS
Race: Bio-engineered human...space marine
Age: 125 seasons (Fenris seasons, I’ll let you work it out in years)
Gender: Male
Nicknames: Grey, Grey Hunter (for quite a period by a few people...saved my life more than once that one), Wolfman, Oi Stop That Bloody Singing.

Features: Blonde short cut hair, some battle scars criss-crossing face. Black wolf priest power armour covered in various wolf totems, necklaces and such and his ABC rank and insignia. Average height of about 8' for a marine.

Gear: Master crafted retractable lightning claws, plasma pistol and bolt pistol, Plasma Destruction Staff (Bing! B)) which works on several settings from stun up to full power via BBC 2. Various grenades and what ever he decides to take on the mission including a record collection banned by most war councils.

Likes: Singing, haribos, fighting, drinking, FARTS, ABC, ABC'ers, Fury (his drinking/fighting partner who some how has moved in on his ship).

Hates: People who wont let him sing (or at least try), Inquisitors, Badgers, Dark Angels, Thousand sons, other chaos, people who insist in killing his crew (*scowls at Nightchild*).

Personal Bio:

Grey is a true space wolf, born and brought up on Fenris and quickly scooped up by the Space Wolves because of his exceptional prowess amongst his clan.

His early life with the Wolves was not extremely exceptional though he had a habit of not dieing, which was handy. Late into his Bloodclaw years however he distinguished himself by single handily clearing a fortified bunker of badgers and was raised to the rank of Wolf Guard. After showing talent in leading wolf packs to accomplish spectacular and song worthy deeds on a regular basis and also managing to raise moral in the darkest times Grey was spotted by the wolf priests of the chapter and brought into their fold. Although most wolves who were present at the more spectacular successes claim they only did it to stop Grey singing.

After a few years in the priesthood Grey saw a plea for help from Lev, Grand Marshal of the ABC. Something made Grey realise the threat the badgers represented and so left the Space Wolves with the wolf lords permission to join the ABC.

Once he joined he was immediately swept up by Chump, commander of FARTS who instantly saw great strength and potential in the young wolf (or at least that’s what he told him. Grey maintained the believe that Chump just wanting someone to dump paper work on. Not that it worked.) placing him in as the 2nd in command of FARTS. After Chump turned himself into a toddler and some how disappeared from the ABC (you can't expect good child minding skills from a bunch of homicidal psychopaths) Grey was promoted to Grand Marshal of FARTS and has led them to great things.

A friendly figure, Grey has a habit of trying to help everyone he sees as needing help. Whether they what it or not. Always happy to have a joke and a drink and occasionally a brawl.


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Name: Abramo
Rank: ///
Division: ///
Race: Human <<Non-Imperial Origin / Unrecognised World>>
Age: 28
Gender: Male

HOME: Mernos <<No Existing Records. Assumed to be beyond Imperial Borders>>

Features: Short brown hair with a white headband round his head. Wears a dusty brown coloured jacket with matching trousers and a lighter brown top underneath. Black boots.

Gear: Matt black Autopistol with vertical front grip <<Unknown Origin, presumably manufactured on Mernos>>, Bolt Pistol <<Pattern Recognised as Steel Angel>>, Sniper Rifle <<Patter Recognised as ABC Guard Issue>>.

Personal Bio:

Abramo was raised in the bottom of the largest Hive on a planet beyond Imperial Control called Mernos. It's location is unknown, but apparently consists of two planets, Mernos itself and a Penal Colony based on a moon that is mined for it's metals and other resources. It was during his childhood in the Hive that Abramo was forced to quickly learn survival skills or die as another faceless corpse in the wasteland (probably something to do with the face munching creatures but thats another story). He learnt many techniques for staying hidden and took learnt fast how to use and maintain a rifle since keeping as much distance between yourself and the horrors of his surroundings was noted as a very good idea!

It was when he reached 16 that he began to work his way up the hive, eventually culminating many years later in a powerful organisation that he rose to the leadership of. This organisation consisted of legitimate business, such as Death Mould harvesting to make expensive cigarettes and other less legitimate activities. By the time he hit 28, he had formed a massive criminal empire that influenced a large portion of the hive and was spreading to other places on the planet. It was then that some of his rivals became concerned and set up a sting operation on a fake assasination contract that saw his downfall and shipped off to the penal colony, his empire now taken over by his rivals and government authorities.

It was on his way to the penal colony that badger forces ambushed the prison ship, taking him prisoner and transferring him to the Vigilance base. Here he met the ABC and learnt that he held psychic talents which accounted for much of his ability to rapidly pick up survival training early in his life. As much as he yearns to return to Mernos, he knows he cannot as he is a wanted man on that planet, and besides, the badgers have prbably over-run it anyway.

[Grimskull Gutslusher]

Name: Leviathan
Rank: Exquisitor
Division: ABC Quisition
Race: Human
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Nicknames: Ah ****. Your had to ask: Lev, Lav, Levi, Levvy, Levvie, Leviathin, Leviathon, Laviathan, Levathon, Leviathingmajig, Leviathong, Nice-Guy-Levi, Leviabollok!, Levmon, Levster, Leviatomic, Levity and a whole crap more I can't be arsed to remember

Features: Around 6'' in height, thinly built, raven black cropped hair with touches of grey around the edges, hooded ice blue eyes, always a bit of stubble.

Gear: Usually wears a blue and grey Imperial navy uniform, usually with jump pants, occasionally wears full jump suit with leather flight jacket that has a red fur trim. Always seems to wear some kind of regalia linked to the Imperial Navy.

Likes: Flying Spaceship, Crashing Spaceships, Grimmy except when he's being a git, Kiao, The ABC, cheese savouries

Hates: Badgers, Going in the shower after Grimmy (he gets squiglets everywhere), Back seat drivers, Coffee machines (long story), People with 'Dragon Ball Z' haircuts, having a bad feeling something gonna happen.

Personal Bio:

Leviathan's past is shrouded, he rarely to never talks about it, despite the fact that his attire and excellent piloting skills nod towards him once being in the Imperial Navy. The circumstances as to why or how he left are yet unknown, even to the other ABCers.

Leviathan is one of the longest serving ABC members, along with Grimmy and nexus and has shown ability as a good leader amongst the rag-tag bunch of mishaps that are usually found in the organisation, despite the fact he has no super-freaky kick ass special powers to help him.

The human is usually quite the idealist, he is generally friendly and easy to talk to yet he shows no fear in throwing himself into battle, often seen fighting alongside his close and somewhat unusual comrade of Grimskull Gutslusher. The pair have gained a mutual understanding; one no Ork and Human has ever had that didn’t end in some kind of blood being spilt either way.

Recently the human has found a young protégé in that of an Orphaned Badger named Kiao whom he rescued after his father was slain and his honourable House destroyed by greed and revenge, although his relationship with the youngster so far has been less than straight and narrow.


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Name: Kiao Bakotahl
Rank: None
Division: None
Race: Badger
Age: 8 (Badger Years). 13 (Terran Years)
Gender: Male
Nickname: None

Features: Black white and fury, this adolescent badger is everything you'd expect from the race except not yet fully grown. He is around 4ft tall and of quite a slender build, yet the noble features of his lineage are still there, especially in his grey-blue eyes which burning with an unerring passion.

Gear: With no surviving clothes from his personal wardrobe Kiao has taken to 'borrowing' a few of Leviathan's, albeit with modifications, such as crudely tearing away the bottoms of his jackets and using belts to tie up the excess bagginess of his other garb. Despite all this they still look several sizes too big for his tiny frame.

Likes: Honour, Fighting for a righteous cause, upholding the name of House Bakotahl, Leviathan.

Hates: Deceit, betrayal, Karmi, Ice cream, Leviathan.

Personal Bio:

Kiao was orphaned not so long ago.
Before the death of his father, Lord to the proud Badger House Bakotahl, he would follow him on campaigns to learn the ways of duty and honour his farther heartedly believed in, ways so few other badger Lords bother to uphold.
Lord Bakotahl, however, was killed in a siege of the ABC's headquarters in recent times. His life recklessly thrown away when a ranking general, a manipulating female badger named Karmi, ordered him to lead his troops in a suicidal attack of the ABC defences.

Kiao became Lord of his House that day, at such a young and unexpecting age.

Upon hearing that Karmi was responsible for his father's death, Kiao took out his furious anger upon her by ordering the troops of his House who were part of the attacking force to turn on Karmi and the rest of her forces. They were wiped out to a Badger in the process of reclaiming their honour but the move helped the ABC survive the siege and drive off the massive attacking army of Karmi.

Since then Kiao has been watched over by Leviathan, who rescued him from the clutches of a furious Karmi. With nothing left but his namesake, Kiao has ironically joined the ABC in the hope of one day exacting total revenge on Karmi for his father’s death.
He is still bitter that he is the last surviving member of his House and often takes out his angst on Leviathan who has increasing become a father figure to the boy.


*


Name: Inquisitor Koun
Rank: He’s an Inquisitor
Division: : I feel this question has already been answered.
Race: How many non-human Inquisitors do you know?
Age: A rather personal question, but if you had to guess, he looks like a 60 year old man.
Gender: Male
Nickname: None that you’re aware of. Give it time, I’m sure Nex or Kasen will think of something suitable.

Features: Old wrinkled man with grey hair, and steel blue eyes. Usually wears a grey cloak and dressed relatively conservatively. The Inquisitorial seal is visible as a button on the collar of his (grey) shirt. He’s always seen with a black and somewhat ornate walking stick. On his hip is holstered a needle pistol of unusual quality, though not as ornate as the stick. Usually flunkies in the form of Inquisitorial storm troopers are with him or nearby.

Gear: That’s above your security clearance, citizen.

Likes: Tea, a comfortable chair, and good conversation. He seems also to enjoy ordering people around with that Vox unit one of his flunkies always carries with him. It’s often said that he enjoys manipulating the affairs of other men (and women), playing some sick twisted game using their lives and souls as mere pieces. But generally it’s not polite to speak of such things within his hearing.

Hates: Incompetence and stupidity, even in his opponents.

Personal Bio:

Wouldn’t you like to know? But if you did try to find out you’d be proving that you’re a malcontent imperial citizen, just shy of being a traitor or heretic. And your not either of those, are you citizen?


*


Name: Tyra Nid
Rank: Tank Commander
Division: Independant
Race: Human
Age: Around 50 years old.
Gender: Male
Nicknames: Tyra,

Features: Shorter than average, as befits someone with a natural inclination for Tankin’. Beginning to go grey. Usually wears green Crew uniform, often dons a flak jacket when likely to get up close and personal. Has been known to wear full dress uniform when required. Non-skilled in infantry combat, relies on obscene luck to stay alive.

Gear: Personal Armament: Always carries ABC Standard-Issue Bolt Pistol, battered from years of service. Has been know to simultaneously use a laspistol or plasmapistol. Frag grendades. Power Knife. Flak jacket.
Other Armament: Access to the ABC Motor Pool. His pride and joy, a Baneblade super-heavy “Utilius Deon”, was destroyed in the Seige of the ABC homeworld, along with much of the ABCs military forces. Currently it is being salvaged at (whats left of) Q-Branch, but whether it will be anything like its old self when it leaves is unknown…

Likes: Tanks, Organisational Structure, not being killed.

Hates: The Imperium, Chaos.

Personal Bio:
Stage One-
Tyra originated from a farming world, where he had always dreamed of working with Tanks. When a nearby system became involved in an Orkish invasion, he had his chance to join the Guard. Starting only by servicing Leman Russ’, his natural aptitude with the massive beasts of war (along with many casualties in the War) led him to steadily rise to the position of Tank Commander. In one fierce battle, his unit was severely destroyed and while making a retreat the crew he had with him stumbled upon an empty Baneblade abandoned on the field of battle when its crew had met a grizzly fate. Surrounded by Ork hordes, Tyra led his ragtag crew into the vehicle and somehow managed to cut a swathe back to the Imperial base of operations. Unfortunately, his senior officers did not see this act as one of Heroism, but Traitorism. Sentenced to execution, Tyra barely made his escape to less reputable parts of the galaxy.

Stage Two-
Having found an inclination towards ordered military structure, Tyra became involved in mercenary work for many years. During this time he came into ownership of a Baneblade (with dubious origins) that he continued to use from then on. Eventually he heard of the ABC, and joined this for the militaristic opportunities rather than a particular hatred of Badgerkind.

Stage Three-
After one mission completed with the ABC, Tyra and his inherited ship The Toddy were lost in a Warp storm. For close to ten years he and the ships crew fought their way through a myriad of Chaotic worlds, lost to the Warp, in an attempt to arrive back in something resembling real space. Finally they got back to the ABC system, only to find that while they had aged ten years only a few months had passed back ‘home’.

Stage Four-
Currently under completion. Notable events: Baneblade being destroyed, The Toddy being infected and consumed by a metallic group-consciousness, closer relations with the Badger race by the ABC.

[Grimskull Gutslusher]

reserved for various crap.

[Grimskull Gutslusher]

Stuuupid low character limit.

Oh yeah - reserved.

[Grimskull Gutslusher]

Yeah, another one. Hah.

[Grimskull Gutslusher]

Because it pays to be safe.

And because I can

[Grimskull Gutslusher]

Lev made me! *runs away*

[Darkwind]

Ooo lookie threadness. I drank a lot last night. Hi everyone! My ankle hurts...

[Inquisitor Mikarovic]

I feel dutifully inclined to inform you all that my fly is undone.

... That is all.

Oh yeah, and Mika might be popping up here and there.
You can expect a positive input on his part, but you'll only be disappointed.

[neXus6]

*finally realises thet he is going to have to catch up on what's been happening in the thread*

Oh heck.


Well can't be more than the last time I went walkabout.

[Grimskull Gutslusher]

I feel dutifully inclined to inform you all that my fly is undone.

... That is all.

Oh yeah, and Mika might be popping up here and there.
You can expect a positive input on his part, but you'll only be disappointed.

I just want you to know that I named my pet gorilla in WoW after you.

[dark_wulf]

You forgot my character!

[Grimskull Gutslusher]

Don't worry, you're still loved. I just need a new profile submission from you. Having lost everything from the ol' Portent and all.

[grey_painter]

Ooo lookie threadness. I drank a lot last night. Hi everyone! My ankle hurts...

And the conversation only goes down hill from here...

Its good to be home.

[dark_wulf]

It's in the Omen OOC thread.

And before you say go look for it, use search

[Inquisitor Mikarovic]

I just want you to know that I named my pet gorilla in WoW after you.

Lev told me a while back. Good to know you still think of me, no matter how retarded the method.

EDIT: Come to think of it, I think Freud would probably have a few things to say about that...

[Grimskull Gutslusher]

Likewise I'm sure you have your Grimskull Gutslusher bed cover and wallpaper.

EDIT: I don't believe Freud would have anything to say about it. Apart from your mother is a hairy gorilla. Did I just say that? Heh.


DOUBLE EDIT: There you go Hellgunner. Thy profile is up.

[Inquisitor Mikarovic]

"Your Mum" jokes ain't cool, GG. I'm out of the fanclub.