I gather the Rednecks aren't bred for brains, judging from the average intelligence of their Chapter Master. Maybe you are going for the 'inbred, stupid' type of Rednecks. (Oh dear, are there more?)
Inquisitor Lord Ximeniz is obviously a homicidal maniac, a bit similar to Hannibal Lecter. Except of course h didn't kill and eat anyone.

Overall, the story is pretty good, even though it lacks the 'low-tech, gothic' look that 40k is famous for. But on the whole, a fine story, and I'd like to see more fluff (I guess another kitten just died...) about the Rednecks.